I Need Help

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 11, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I am neither sad nor mad about the end of Charlie Kirk, other than to question why he was so profoundly important to others and I need help. Some of his words were small, they lacked empathy and were not from the Jesus I know. He called himself a christian, yet he did not love all his neighbors in a way that I can understand, the second most important law, according to Jesus. He would spit out the 10 commandments but he didn’t show that Jesus was the new covenant. That loving God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and all our neighbors is the entire purpose of being a Jesus Follower. Nothing else matters. Jesus told us to be a humble, peaceful, generous, merciful servants. This was not this man’s message as I heard it.

We should be upset that on the same day Kirk was killed, a woman who came to the United States from Ukraine for protection was murdered by a mentally ill man, with a huge history of violence. Even his mother had asked for him to be committed, and yet, he was still on the streets of North Carolina; a walking time bomb.

Why do we not have better legislation is place for dangerous people?

We should care that also on the same day Kirk was murdered, when someone brought a gun to a school in Colorado, we should be thankful that a student would be willing to throw himself on that gun so that there were only 3 people hurt. We need to be celebrating this 18 year old man!

There were two school shootings on the same day but we are only talking about one, over and over…I can’t see why Kirk is more important than these children.

I do not know that Charlie Kirk would have thrown his body on a gun to protect others because I don’t know him. I don’t know if he was that selfless. If he did know how big God is, I didn’t see a God as big as mine in his messages. But maybe I wasn’t listening well.

Maybe this incident where Kirk was silenced, was just God pruning an unfruitful branch, as it mentions in John 15. Or maybe I am broken somewhere.

I don’t mean to be cruel. I know a wife lost a husband and 2 children lost a father. I don’t know why I can’t feel genuine empathy for them. It is usually abundantly available for me to offer for people in prayer, which I did pray for his family and loved ones, but it was not as natural as it usually is and for that I need to talk with God about. My humanity is getting in the way and I don’t know why.

I am afraid because I am not recognizing myself. Why does the mention of his name or vision of his face make me feel so angry?

His words hurt me. They sliced into me because some of his words were unloving, dis-inclusive, violent at times, and arrogant. Sometimes they were perfectly programmed “christian” words, and I am sure he did believe them, but Jesus came to teach us to love, He said He came to bring division, but that was because He knew humanity so well. Jesus’ words could get into our egos and without the pure soul, where love can grow, it can become foul, and then some of us would care about things that we have no business thinking about. That is evil, and I am afraid that sometimes, that was where Kirk spoke out of, even if it was unintentional. That is very sad.

Am I speaking from there too?

People hide behind the phrase, “We have a right to have our own opinion.” This is true. But words are important. God tells us that we have the power of life or death from our mouth. He told us to be careful. I am not rectifying the murderer’s actions. Murder is not ever acceptable. But what if Kirk’s words hurt someone so badly, they felt like they had no other choice? We may never know.

Or what if this murder is also meant by another evil, to bring even more division in a church that is already divided, on the eve of an event that at one time brought us all together for at least a moment?

Twenty four years ago, I know where I was when I heard about the Twin Towers. I remember that day more clearly than most days in my life. It started with a dream about it, before it happened. It ended with me being at a church worship service dancing and praising Jesus. But soon after some United States citizens began to hate Muslims and do terrible things to them, even though, they too were United States citizens, and they were in pain also by the loss of almost 3,000 people, and they had nothing to do with the plans of evil men from al-Qaeda.

I invite you to take a breath. Bring yourself to your center. Don’t try to blame anyone right now. The facts will come as they are supposed to. Today is a day of remembering. 9-11 brought our country together like no other day in a long time. We were quieter, more appreciative and we had been given a different perspective that helped some of us. Death is not always just an end, but also a door to a newness because as we mourn, we begin to live differently.

God loves you. No matter what name you call Him/Her/They. For a moment let that be enough to empower you to love others. That is the purpose of this life, there is no other reason we are here.

I will get the answers to my questions when I am ready for them. But if you want to pray for me, I appreciate that. Be blessed.

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Being Brave is Like Breathing

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 8, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I have never felt more confident in God or connected to Him in my life than I do now. Being brave is almost like breathing. Being who I am has never been less complicated than now. I don’t know what changed but I don’t feel like competing with anyone anymore, even myself. I do what I can with the effort I have energy for and I am grateful.

I have always known I was put on this earth for something special. I have known that I have been here before and I have a special task which is why I can ask God to teach me how to do something and I will have a dream about it and wake up with new knowledge. It has never occurred to me to not ask Him for the simplest of things, even in picking out a melon at the grocery store.

I will never forget a time I was at the store, right after church. I had just asked God which cantaloupe to buy and one had glowed so I put it in my cart. Someone from church saw me and asked me how to pick a good melon. I told her my method and she gave me the oddest look and walked away. I could not comprehend her response. We had both just left church.

But a few years later, when I was 20 years old, I finally heard God’s voice. He told me it was time to leave. He told me they had taught me all they could teach me. So I left. 10 or so years later, I visited. I had grown far beyond where I had been spiritually, but they were giving the same sermon I had heard back then. This church didn’t really encourage spiritual growth, they encouraged spiritual dependence, but not on God, on human dogma. Just like we see in our society and politics.

Our Creator made us to be curious, powerful and confident in Him. He empowered us to be successful in every situation. Society has put up walls to make us believe we are smaller than we are. If Jesus lives in us, we are priests and royalty, just like Him. We have to live up to that. He will help us if we are willing to live this way.

Image Credit: Casey Horner

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Bringing People Together in Faith

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 6, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Trump’s followers are so wrong when they say he is bringing people together in faith. In my opinion, Trump is not bringing us together. He is setting us against each other and up for failure. How can a man that has been married 3 times and cheated on all his wives and has abused women and laughed about it in public, lead anyone to faith and family? I certainly don’t respect him. But I do pray for him and I do ask God to help me have love for him.

Wake up!

These same people want to say the democrats are to blame for everything. How can you say ‘the left’ is trying to ‘erase faith from public square, rewrite history, and replace God with government,’ when that is exactly what Trump’s administration is doing? But don’t think I think the democrats are any less guilty than the republicans in the “establishment,” because both parties have made the rich richer and the poor poorer.

I do think it would be glorious if 1 million people prayed for each other every week. Even more if they prayed for wisdom on how to overthrow our current government and build one that invested in education, healthcare, good jobs and infrastructure, plus a fair tax structure that includes taxing the rich so that we would have a strong middle class and less homelessness.

Trump’s kind of change is not something new. It is social blindness. It is either oligarchy or poverty. It is war. Because it is coming. And no one will be protected.

Try praying about that. World War III is coming. But it doesn’t have to start between United States citizens, we can choose to stop fighting each other and remember that at the end of the day we all want the same thing: safety, love and community.

Image Credit: Wikipedia Commons

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Dear Non-Affirming Church

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 26, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

Dear Pastor,

Although I can hear the love you are trying to convey in your message, I still feel sadness when I read your words. I have been walking with Jesus since I was 5 years old, and He came to me in my back yard when I was playing alone, under my apple trees. He found me when I was alone and then I was never alone. He came before my family fell apart and He has seen me through many traumas. It has been 44 years since that day.

He is smiling at me now.

I didn’t understand myself growing up. I was different. I didn’t have many crushes growing up and I didn’t get googly eyed like my friends did. I thought I was broken. I also thought both men and women were beautiful. But I was raised by my nana, who told me never to waste my affections on someone I wouldn’t marry, while teaching me to be a lady, so I just focused on what was in front of me. I met my wife at work. We were friends for 10 years. She actually helped me through a terrible break up with someone I had also been friends with for 10 years. When I got sick, really sick, she was the one that helped me get well. Although I was aware of feelings, I thought they were just coming from her, until they were not only coming from her. We got married 11 days later.

It took me a year of therapy (I have been in therapy most of my life) to be able to say I was bisexual and later to learn the word demisexual. The first year of our marriage was beautiful and God was with me. I just told people I had married my best friend. That was true. But it was also true that I had not chosen to be bisexual and demisexual. I was created that way. I was also created to be more than that and I was confused, but God wasn’t. When I asked Him if I should divorce my wife, He said, “No.” He also told gave me the following scripture:

I believe that sex and gender are human issues. They are something we only deal with on earth, because in the new world we will have heavenly bodies and will not be given away in marriage. I believe that God knows our hearts and He is bigger than a book with words in it that has been edited by humans. Did you know that the word homosexual was not added to the bible until 1947? It was added by humans that wanted to control other humans. The term they were trying to describe was abusers. Consenting people that are committed to each other and love each other are not abusing each other.

My wife and I have been married 11 years. That is longer than both our parents were.

What makes me the most sad about churches that are not affirming, is that they claim to be the body of Christ, yet they create these areas that are ok to judge people and set them aside. I know that I can come to your church, and I will probably be treated kindly by most, feared by some, ignored by the ones that don’t know what to do with people like me and wife. But some day you are going to preach something from your pulpit about how my marriage is an abomination to God and if I brought one of my Queer Family members to visit that day, they might not have made the same peace with the incorrect doctrine, as I have, because Jesus is the Living Word of the bible. The one we read has been translated badly. What can I do to change their broken heart?

I appreciate your kind words but I can’t affirm your church.

Be Blessed,

Summer D Clemenson

Photo Credit: https://soundcloud.com/sssleye/walkingouturdoor

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I Am A Jesus Follower

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 12, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I am a Jesus Follower. I do see value in ALL people because I believe God made them. God told us to love our neighbor and He did not differentiate between anyone.

I have read the bible many times and it says to take care of the fatherless, widows, the sick, to be kind to emigrants and everyone because we have all been made in the image of God; we are all connected.

There is a different standard for christians than those who have other beliefs. This makes sense because if you have never read the bible and accepted the word for truth, how can you be held accountable to it?

I don’t have a lot of grace for people that call themselves christian yet don’t love all of God’s creation, who don’t have empathy and compassion and care as we were told to. Who don’t do as we were taught to. This is the apocalypse we were warned about. The undressing of the church.

There are people that call themselves christians that have protected rapists. They are cheering on others who terrorize the innocent. They have made money and power their god instead of the Creator while justifying murder of women and sick people who can’t get proper medical care, while they shout about their religious beliefs and our christian nation. They have continued to pay for wars while innocent lives are annihilated, even as children starve.

No. Not all Christians are the same. Some know a God that is gentle and lowly in spirit and wants to bear your burdens. Some Christians know that our God laughs at the enemy now because in the end, they have nothing. Some Christians really do love their neighbors, all of them, but we do not have much use for the ones that are hurting themselves or the ones they are hurting because they have decided they are not worthy. But I pray for them too.

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I Want To Be Done Now

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 9, 2025 | Cancer, Chronic Illness, Life, Prayers & Thanksgiving

On August 9th I wrote the following on Facebook:

This message is a very vulnerable one. I try hard to not live in this state because I know that I am here to live the life that God has created for me to live and I am not afraid to die. In fact there are very few things that I am actually afraid of for myself.

Angry Men Yelling
Earthquakes
Snakes
Personal Suffering
Other People Suffering

But through this time where I have had to undergo things that have shown me I am stronger than I realized, I know that the prayers of others have helped me so much. Although I try not to complain too often, when I have posted that I was suffering, those posts have been overwhelmed by the caring of others and I have felt the prayers and love from people I have both met and not met.

In a world where I have chosen to not join a church per se, I have found a church family, right here on Facebook, where there are people that regularly check in with each other and support each other, even if we have never met. We pray for each other and lift each other up and I find that to be refreshing because we don’t have to, but we do.

So when the moments come when I want to be done happen, I am always encouraged by you to keep going because there is always someone who cares and gives me encouragement. Thank you.

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Wade In The Water

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 5, 2025 | About Summer, Life, Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I recently have begun looking for old songs that have called to me throughout my life. I hummed a tune to Karen and she immediately began singing “Wade in the Water,” which, with a very small amount of research, I learned is an Underground Railroad Hymn. It was used to communicate how to travel from slavery to freedom.

These words tell people to make sure to stay off the path and get into the water because the slave hunter’s dogs couldn’t smell their scent when they went into the water and the rivers led to salvation. Wading also implies defiance. Unlike swimming or floating, you must push against the water and current to wade in the water; it is work to stay steady in the mud and rock and grasses.

Although my ancestors came from Europe and Canada, I have always seen a beauty and connection to Native American and Black culture. I feel connection with trees and tall grasses in the wind. I love to feel leaves, as though we are talking. Worshiping with Jerry Chapman, a local Native Pastor, showed me the beauty of drums and how we are all connected. In my 20’s I learned so many lessons about how I was made to understand more than one realm. Through nature God shows us that we are all one. Because He made the first man and breathed His breath into him and humanity was created.

I don’t need to read or listen to the news to know a catastrophe has happened. I can feel it. When I was a child, I would see things and have dreams that scared me. But as an adult, with the bible and more experienced teachers, I learned how to pray about these things, limit spiritual attack, and now I am learning to rest.

Recently someone sent me a short video of a white woman. Her message was that people make groups to divide us: Queer/Straight, Black/White, Disabled/Able-Bodied…and we just need to love everyone. Tee Hee (I am sorry that is what I heard in my head…and I know it is judgmental and not fair)

My problem with straight, white, healthy women telling me to just love everyone, is not that I don’t agree, or that I don’t think she might not be sincere, but she, or someone like her, has been saying something like that for a long time, while straight, white, healthy men keep making laws that make it harder for queer, or disabled, or people of color, or women to live their lives the way they want. God made free will for everyone, not just white men. I know not all white women support some of the terror in the world, not all white men are terrorist, and what I am saying might sound unfair. It is.

My black, queer, disabled family would like to invite you to research what other black families still are living with. Maybe read about what queer communities have to deal with. Have you read about some of the issues disabled people face? Yes we do need to love each other but we also need to know each other.

I think “Wade in the Water” is a universal song. We are still struggling and everyone struggles. We are all needing salvation.

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The Presence of The Fruits of the Spirit

by Summer D Clemenson | May 20, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Jesus told us that we could tell when others were true believers of God by the presence of the Fruits of the Spirit in their life. I don’t care what someone tells me about themselves. If I don’t see these attributes in their life, I know they are not a true Jesus Follower and I don’t expect good things from them. It helps me not judge them or be angry with them because they don’t know the love that I do. It helps me be at peace and feel more love, joy, patience, goodness, generosity, etc…

I want to clarify that I don’t think that only christians can have the Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. I know that many religions teach these attributes and some people naturally have these characteristics. I know that Jesus spoke to people of other faiths and He had many friends while He was here on earth. There is one rule to being a christian, but there are many ways to be a good and loving human.

I think I am starting to understand maybe some of what God wants me to learn by His choice of our president. We want to believe that The United States of America is a christian nation but we are not truly united and we are definitely not only christian. Groups of people mess these ideas up because “group think,” while it can be powerful, is not how we do our best. We were all created to be in a personal relationship with a higher power, in my life it is the Trinity of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit; He is supposed to be the main relationship in our lives, yet we easily give this spot away to politics, religion (which is very different than relationship), addiction and idolatry, and the human condition: lust, pride and greed. We let our emotions drive us away from God, rather than towards Him so He can help us sort them out (I am so guilty of this too). We judge others before we realize that we now have made ourselves guilty, when we should be praying for each other.

I understand the frustration and anger, the pain and fear because as a human being, I am compelled by the same fragility that all humans experience. But we can also choose to love. We can choose to look around and ask ourselves, “How can my anger benefit someone and when is it causing a problem?” MOST of the time, our anger must be let go. Sometimes anger compels us to do important things. But most of the time, it is only to show us where we need to cry out to Jesus.

I am trying to remember this. I am trying to let go of the austerity I once thought was important. I am trying to just tell my Savior, sometimes only in groans and tears that I am sad, overwhelmed and I need help. When I hear of people being murdered or taken advantage of on the news, I pray for the hurt person and their loved ones. When I read about war, I pray for help and wisdom, because only God really knows all the details. When I hear about tornadoes and other scary weather and I can hardly breathe, for the pain I feel for those that are in that turmoil, God knows what I can’t say. When my friends are hurting sometimes I just sit with God because my pain is too big and I don’t have to say anything because God loves them more than I do.

No politician can give me this. There is no amount of money that can buy me this type of safety. Even my friends and loved ones are going to fail me, but Jesus never has. He deserves my attention. God’s Spirit is love, which is where all the Fruits of the Spirit come from. We learn these for ourselves by spending time with Him. That is why we need Him.

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She Is It

by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 17, 2025 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

I don’t think I could put in words how much I love, need and want Karen G Clemenson. She is it. As I grew up I had made lists of what I wanted in a partner. I have never taken choosing a partner lightly and I am not casual about sex at all. Karen is one of two people I have ever been with. She even helped me get over the first guy, promising he would come back, until I finally told her, I didn’t want him to come back.

I have loved 3 people in my life and there were about 10 years between each person. I was friends with each person first. My lists always changed as I had my heart was shattered. Because I love completely. I am so grateful that I am demisexual because I don’t have overwhelming sexual feelings that get in my way until I have bonded with someone emotionally, intellectually and have learned if they are worthy of my trust.

When I prayed to God and asked for a partner I was shocked that Karen was the one. I had been fighting my feelings for some time, to be honest. I was raised in a conservative family and conservative religion and being gay was wrong. However, I had also walked with God since I was 5 and I had an authentic relationship with God and there had been many things God had shown me, that I had been taught, that were wrong.

It was still 1 year after we were married, before I could verbalize that I was bisexual and demisexual. But I also knew that God knew that I was queer. He made me this way and He loved me and this very small part of who I am, is part of the calling He has for me. Nothing I have ever done or ever will do, will ever change how much He loves me or that the salvation He created for me is mine. He promised me that. I am supposed to love Him, let Him love me, and love my neighbor. He will fill in all the blanks.

Karen and I have this little joke. She asks me — Who loves you? — I always answer, with a smile on my face: Jesus.

The only competition Karen has is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I do find other people attractive but I don’t want them. We talk about that. Neither of us wants anyone else. And even the most exquisite looking person can open their mouth and say a selfish, judgmental, or hateful thing and suddenly they are no longer interesting to me in any way.

I have had people try to use their religious beliefs to justify their fear that I am going to hell. I am sick of this. It just isn’t true. God created inclusion. The word “homosexuality” wasn’t even added to the bible until 1947 by white people that wanted to control the narrative. I do realize the bible I read, in its imperfection, was inspired by God, but edited by man. This doesn’t stop me from reading it, but I read it with Jesus and I ask questions and wait for answers.

Karen was the best gift God ever gave me. When I could not hide that I was sick anymore, she was there. I had never been taken care of before. I had been the one to serve. I am an artist and chronically ill. I don’t know what my body and mind will be like from day to day; I don’t often know what I will say until I say it. She is never intimidated by me, my body, my mind or my ideas. She loves the challenge and surprises. On earth, she is my rock and I am her’s. I don’t take this for granted.

On the flip side, she eats healthier, dresses better and has more organization in her life than she ever had on her own because once we were married, we both learned, we needed someone to take care of. Her blood pressure is normal, her weight is exactly what her doctor wants it to be and her muscle tone is impressive. Plus she has some pretty great aspirations that she would never have attempted if she didn’t have someone cheering her on. Who else is going to correct her when she says she is crazy and tell her she is just juggling a lot?

We make an amazing team. I thank God for her all the time. I can’t and don’t even want to imagine life without her. We have healed and grown so much in this relationship and I wish that the kind of love, trust, honesty and kindness we share was in all partnerships. If there was, there would probably be little to no divorce and less STIs and unwanted pregnancies too. Because when you have all you want in your relationship, you don’t have to look anywhere else and you make decisions together and you don’t do things to tear down the team.

I am a blessed woman.

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Read the Bible

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 26, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I have read the bible by myself for the joy of it all my life. But when I was younger it was also taught to me to prove myself and others wrong, to find sin, to weaponize Jesus and His word. I don’t know if the people that taught me to do this, did it with intention to weaponize it, or if the people that taught them to do it had that reason, but somewhere along the chain, there was some intent to manipulate and control others. When I learned what I was doing, I began to ask God to help me unlearn this behavior. I did this because I could see that it wasn’t helping anyone get closer to God but just the opposite.

This behavior has been used to morph into political gain as well. It makes me angry and sad, depending on where I am and who I am with.

I have been really hurt by well-intentioned people at church. I sometimes, but rarely, visit churches now. My experience at church is nothing like the relationship I have with God when I can just be myself. God has told me I have specific callings on my life. He did not make me to fit in a church. But I did get one method of reading the bible every year from one church that I enjoy. When I finish, I start again and because I have grown and changed each year, the scriptures are different for me. It makes each time I read a scripture like it is new and I learn something special or deeper.

The Bible Was Created to:

Aid in building relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit
Teach history and culture
Bring the reader to their own repentence
Edify and encourage the reader and others

People get confused. They think because Paul, a fallible man, talks about how to run a church that we are supposed to tell each other how to live, but Paul often gets full of himself, and being a Jew, he still liked laws a lot.

Jesus said to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and love our neighbor as ourselves. If we could do that we were good. He also said all judgement was given to Him, the Son of God, on Judgment Day and He wasn’t judging yet.

Being a Jesus follower is actually pretty simple.

The hard part is letting go of all the lies humans, well-meaning or not, tell us, dropping the bad habits that don’t serve us as well as we once thought they did, and learning to set boundaries that are healthy because our bodies have limits and how can we give freely, and out of love, if we are exhausted and feel taken advantage of?

As we learn the heart of Jesus, we get used to hearing from the Holy Spirit. We learn what our calling is. For some people it is to be parents. For some it is to be a teacher. For some it is to be an encourager. Everyone has an a calling. You wont know if you don’t spend time with God and the best way to learn His voice is to be in the word.

I ran into another Jesus follower the other day. She has been through a TREMENDOUS time in the last few years and she has a HUGE calling on her life. Not unlike myself. I didn’t even know what to say to her. I was astounded by the power that resonated off of both of us. We don’t even cross paths very often. I have been watching her on Facebook. All I could say was: Be blessed. She said the same and we kept going on our own paths.

Sometimes that is all we can say; or all we should say. If I had said more to this amazing person, my human insecurities might have come up and she has come through too much to deserve that. God is dealing with us in different ways. I am so happy for her. I want her to stay exuberant.

This is another reason why it is so important to read the bible. How else can you recharge and reset when we live in a world that is so anti-whatever we are called to do, if we aren’t plugging into God? I know the bible is not perfect. It has been inspired by God, but written and manipulated by men. But it is also beautiful and inspiring, if you really push in and ask the right questions. I don’t remember when I learned this but somewhere, I learned that it was acceptable to ask God questions and wait for the answers. It might take a long time or just a few seconds, but He always answers. You might also have to be open to hearing Him too. Some people are scared of hearing Him but the Jews missed out on a lot of blessings because they were afraid to see His face. They believed they would die if they saw Him and so it was true.

In actuality, He created us for His good pleasure and He delights in us. Just the fact that you think of Him makes Him happy. Imagine what you taking the time to ask Him a question and waiting for the answer, must do for Him. God is a lot more open and loving than I ever imagined or was taught as a child. He wants us to love each other and make space for each other. There is no one that God doesn’t love. That might be hard to imagine, but it is true. It is also hard to reciprocate but God and I are working on that in me. Anyone that wants to honor that in themselves can ask for that. God in all His love and mercy is glad to give good things to His children.

God doesn’t care if we are republicans or democrats, straight or gay, able bodied or disabled. He does not care where our ancestors were born or what color our skin is. He finds all of us fascinating because He created all of us. In heaven, we will be like angels and wont have bodies like we do now, so sex and gender wont matter anymore. In heaven, I imagine there is a great big dining room table for us to fellowship at. Will you be comfortable there if you didn’t learn to live with different types of people on earth?

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The Fight Inside

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 10, 2025 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Nana never spoke about her cancer and I never asked her to. I wish I had. Maybe she would tell me what I am feeling is normal. I have done everything the doctors have told me to do, no matter how painful or humiliating and still the cancer lives inside me. I am a very modest person and I have had more strangers look at me naked in the last 3 years than I have in my entire life and I don’t even get the joy of being a mother. I knew I never would, even when I was young, but sometimes that pain feels new again. I know I am tired of the fight inside me.

Nana was a lady; very graceful and well-spoken. She taught me to be a lady, as well. I was often teased by my friends for some of my lady-like habits and called a snob for my vocabulary. Nana hated swearing. She said there were so many wonderful adverbs to choose from, why did people have to resort to such low speech? I remember, even my father’s second wife would tell me that she hated the look I got on my face when she swore, she felt judged. I don’t know what look she was talking about, but other people said the same thing. All I can say about my father’s second wife, is she is not a lady. In fact, after years in therapy and trying to make peace with not fitting in, I saw her flip off one of my relatives at a Christmas party and my thought came loud and clear: Why am I trying so hard? I don’t like these people and they don’t like me. I wouldn’t put this effort into strangers.

I can’t say I never swear, the fact still remains, I am the biological daughter of a sailor (Coast Guard) and my father was my preferred parent until he left us and between him and the kids at school, I learned a lot of ways to use words that Nana was not going to teach me, but I have to get pretty angry to use those words. But I am beyond even these words right now.

I am exhausted. The kind of tired that sleep can’t fix because when I do sleep, I have nightmares. I know it is stress. Considering radiation for my next cancer step has been difficult. It has been me, accepting that my body has failed the medication route. It is me accepting another, probably, painful treatment and more people looking at my naked body. It is me wondering if this will actually work and worrying about the side effects that the doctors can’t know about because I have fibromyalgia and she is a vindictive bear and she doesn’t like to be poked. It is me having sharp shooting pain in my face as my trigeminal neuralgia is triggered and stiff jaw joints as my TMJ joins in the party.

But is also the memories that are being unpacked that I don’t want to remember. My youngest sibling and my nephew are in town. They are helping my mother clean out her house. She is getting ready to sell her house and move out of state. My mother and I have made as much peace as we can. We know we love each other but we can’t have a relationship. We pray for each other. She emailed me and told me she would put my things in a storage unit and send the key to the gym so we could come get it. I thanked her. But my sibling started emailing me. I have had no contact with this sibling for years. The last time we communicated they told me to stop contacting their children.

All my siblings have said this to me.

Being an auntie was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and those relationships were my most dear until I married Karen. I loved listening to the kids. I loved playing with them. I did not want to be their parent. I wanted to be their auntie. But my siblings felt like I wanted too much.

When my sibling wanted me to come to my mother’s house to unpack the garage that I had cleaned so many times over the years, where half of my things went into when we moved there because my new room was half the size of my old room, where I collected things to finally move out one day, even if I could have done it, I could not have done it with them there. I had always done everything alone. This sibling offered up my ability to see my nephew as a prize and it felt a punch in the stomach.

My nephew is a man now. He could choose to have a relationship with me if he wants to. I won’t have his parent be a go-between. I already gave all I could give to them when I helped to raise my siblings, and ALL that entails, and when I helped to take care of their babies, until they didn’t need me anymore and they told me to stay away from their children. As much as I love my nephew and cherish every moment I spent with him, I want a real relationship, not one build on manipulation. Even if that wasn’t the intent, that is what it felt like.

Manipulation is what I remember growing up. If I put up with a certain amount of abuse, I got a few new books. If I got my hair done, I owed a certain amount of chores, more than usual, even though I was on call 24/7 always. On the day my father and his second wife told us they got married (yes they didn’t even tell us they were getting married or invite us, even though they had lived together for a few years) his wife told us that their marriage would be more important than any of us kids. At least that statement was true. I always felt like I was being crushed. If I ever felt happy, there was always someone that knew how to take it away from me, so I learned to swallow myself.

My nieces and nephews were the only people in my family that I let see the real me. I let them see my joy, curiosity, love, mercy, compassion…anything good that was in me. I know that maybe that was hard for my siblings to see because that was not the Summer they ever got. They were raised by an angry, abused, absent Summer. They got the worst of me most of the time. I think my youngest sibling may have seen some of my goodness, but when they told me to stay away from their children, it had been probably years since they had seen anything good from me unless it was directed at their children.

Years later, I had always thought I had taken all the abuse, which is what I wanted, but after so much therapy, it became truth to me that that was probably not true, even though it looked like they had it easier, that doesn’t mean they were in a healthy environment. My siblings have their own traumas, even if they don’t remember them or have PTSD like I do. They might not mean to hurt me but they do. I had to choose myself at some point. And that point came when I was diagnosed with cancer.

I wish Nana and Grandpa were here. They always knew what to say. I was watching an interview of Pete Buttigieg on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and it was so refreshing. Although Grandpa was a republican, Buttigieg being a democrat, doesn’t change the way he speaks from reminding me of Grandpa. He always pauses after a question to consider his words carefully and he uses beautiful words that mean tremendous things and when he has the opportunity to say something negative, he always takes the high road, while having a dry sense of humor. I know that many people, that are no longer in my life, might not agree with me, but I try to live my life in a way that emulates my favorite parts of Nana and Grandpa. People that do not bring out the best in me, or I don’t bring out the best in them, can’t be given much of my time because it is not healthy for either of us. This doesn’t mean I don’t have love for them, it actually means I am giving them the most love I have for them, by not abusing them or myself.

I know I can’t have a relationship with my parents. My father chose his second wife and I won’t have her in my life. I don’t think I can have my siblings in my life because I don’t think I can forgive them for removing their children from my life. I know they didn’t understand my relationship with their kids; they probably thought I wanted more than I actually did but I just wanted to love them and to be part of their life, to watch them grow and listen to what the kids had to say. I know my siblings didn’t like it when I told them what their kids actually wanted, but we come from a family where kids tend to be seen as extensions of the parents and not actually individuals and I didn’t want my siblings to make the same mistakes our parents made. My parents didn’t know me at all, if they did, they sure didn’t communicate it well to me, or they didn’t care. Neither did my siblings. In fact, I don’t know my siblings either.

I am curious about my nieces and nephews. They are all adults now. I assume they are busy with their own lives. Maybe some day they will Google me and reach out. I would love that.

Today, while I wrote this, I defrosted the freezer and cleaned out the microwave. As I washed the plate for the microwave, I thought of Nana because I wash dishes like she does. She often didn’t use a brush or wash cloth to wash just one dish, she just used her hands, scraping at hard spots with her finger nail. The other night I had a dream that Grandpa had set up a new game for one of my siblings and I to play. This particular sibling and I have no relationship. But while we played we were having a great time.I wondered why I would have a dream like that. After praying about it, I know that part of the reason we don’t get a long is that we are too alike, but also we didn’t get an opportunity to be playmates. Dad left too early and I had to become a grown up. Grandpa was letting us play in my dream and we were having fun. I am glad that Nana and Grandpa are still coaching.

If you want to watch that interview with Pete Buttigieg on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert:

Feel free to leave your comments below!

Who Supports 47

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 5, 2025 | Cancer, Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

Someone asked me, today, if I thought all people that supported 47 were a certain kind of people. They used an acronym that I don’t know and that Google doesn’t know so I couldn’t answer their question. They were responding to a post that was actually a rough draft for my post: Why Aren’t People Angry Like Me? that ended up on my blog, so if they didn’t read my blog they didn’t get to read where I went with it. But regardless, I was very angry when I wrote both posts. But I have been thinking about who supports 47.

I still agree with what I wrote, but the level of feeling has died down and I haven’t read any news or watched any news for 5 days. I have been focusing on me. Reading my bible. Reading books that I want to read, which are not light reads, but are not directly related to 47, which tends to be a topic that gets me going pretty fast.

Left to my own peace-loving self, I believe that most people, regardless of where their politics lie, are good people; helpful people. If I had a house and it was on fire, I would not ask that only firefighters of one party show up at my house because the other party would not do a good job. If you were walking down the street and you saw me trying to save my family, you would probably help me pull my family from my burning house, or at least make sure 911 had been called, and maybe even hold a hose towards my house for me, while I helped my loved ones. You might even pray with me while my house burnt down. We would never ask who we voted for. We would just be happy that my wife and I were safe and my cat was counted for and I was even able to grab the safe with our documents in it. We might hug each other and you would be glad that The Red Cross came and we had a safe place to go to that night until our insurance took care of this mess. We would never talk about politics. Even if one of were wearing a MAGA hat. Even if one of wasn’t a Jesus Follower, we still might hold a moment of silence and lift up positive thoughts to the universe for our new friendship. Because I believe that when we don’t let stuff get in the way of the good parts of humanity, we are all connected.

I have never been rich. But I have been related to people with money. I know how to act around people with money. I know what to do with money. I know how to make good decisions with money when I have it. But I love love more than money. I love people more than money. I am a chronically ill person with a body that doesn’t do what I want it to do most of the time and I can’t be a reliable employee so I rely on my disability checks. My wife is a genius but was never encouraged to go to college. When she finally tried, she had a brain aneurism and it has taken her a long time to overcome the financial problems that caused. But she is a hard worker and an asset at every job she has ever had, although, she is rarely paid much over minimum wage and hasn’t had full-time hours in almost a year. But we have love and we really like each other. We have always enjoyed being with each other, even when we were just friends. So I consider us very wealthy.

We will probably never see a year where we make over $60,000, let alone $400,000. I am ok with that. It seems like a lot of responsibility. But you better believe, we are generous with the small amount we now have, so I know it would be just that much more fun to give if we had more! That is the way we live.

I am neither a republican or a democrat. I believe if both parties are truthful to their platforms, they balance each other out and I like that. But I don’t even think either party has been totally truthful to their own platforms for a long time. I miss when republicans wanted a balanced budget. They would have never voted to raise the debt ceiling before now, and especially not at the hundreds of trillions of dollars that 47 has proposed. Republicans like low taxes but in their hay day they would have seen that we can’t afford to cut taxes with our national debt this high. I don’t mind that democrats are often called socialists, a little socialistic behavior is good for the economy when you have children in homes that can’t feed them; how will they ever rise above their situation if they don’t get a good education and healthy food? So schools should be fully funded and children should be fed and have health insurance; they are our future. Anything we can do to help families, we should do because it helps children grow up and, “be best,” to borrow a phrase from our First Lady.

I am saddened that 47 is so set against the growth in civil rights we have made. We live in a world, where it is still not fair to be a person of color, a woman, a queer person, disabled, a senior citizen or a naturalized United States citizen and these groups of people still need help. They don’t need to be stomped on, erased or forgotten. This program to erase Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is downright mean. I don’t know why some white men need to be coddled so much. As a fellow white person, even though my family is only 3 and 4 generations in the United States, so yes, I think immigration is wonderful, I would like to remind you that white people stole this land from Natives. White people should not be the dominate race here.

I am avoiding the news this week. I am doing it on purpose. My anger got too big for me to handle last week. I have cancer. I often forget about that. With my 14 diagnosis, only one of them can be cured and it is the cancer. 4 of them are mental and the rest or physical and I never feel great. So the cramping and the exhaustion, they could also be something else. But I need to not be so stressed out that I am screaming at my wife when she comes home or I can’t answer a question without crying or shaking or having nightmares. My therapist is right. There is nothing I can do to change the trajectory of where things are going in our government. I don’t have time to fact check every post people put out there to make sure it is true, but many of them are complete lies. There are only so many emails I can send to my representatives.

What kind of people do I think support 47?

If I had to guess, people that like money, people that want more money and think he can deliver.
I think people that think it is ok to define other people and people groups, even if they have no idea what it is like to be those kinds of people, and tell them how to live their life, support him because he seems to be doing their beck and call, pretty well.
I think people that don’t have faith in science or believe that we need to change how we use our natural resources before we drown ourselves and scorch the sky, probably support 47.
I think people that believe that vaccines are dangerous for everyone to use and think they don’t need to care about themselves or their loved ones enough to find out if there is a medical reason why they should avoid them, or just a stubborn streak that is stopping them from protecting themselves and their neighbor, probably like the cabinet that 47 has chosen; regardless of the years of science that proves that vaccines cause disease to be eradicated.
I think that many people have thought that government has been too big for a long time, but I am not sure many of them had what is happening in mind when they said to drain the swamp. Or maybe they did, maybe people that support 47 like that hundreds of thousands of people are out of living wage jobs and have no health insurance and many programs that we have grown accustomed to accessing, are working worse that ever now that we don’t have people to man them. Maybe those people are very happy about this. I don’t know. I haven’t done a poll to see what kind of people still support 47. But I know that in April we have been waiting for a year for my wife’s FMLA benefits from when she had her hysterectomy. She has applied for help with the VA several times and she tends to get lost in the shuffle. I have sent in paperwork over a year ago for a disabled plaque so I can park closer to buildings, over a year ago and it has never come. I also ordered a copy of my birth certificate about 2 months ago; I was born in Washington State…it hasn’t come yet. All these federal programs could work better and I don’t think firing people is going to make them more efficient.
I also think that white supremacists and christian nationalist like 47 a lot. I think he likes them too. He gives the racists a freedom they haven’t had a in long time. A place to put their hatred. Even though I have heard him say he is not a christian, I have also heard him say he likes how loyal christians are. They definitely can be that.
I do know that a lot of people that support 47, seem to love the massive amounts of deportations of illegal immigrants, even if they are not criminals and need asylum, even though one of our greatest United States symbols is The Statue if Liberty and at her feet is a plaque that says: Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door! The Statue of Liberty – Ellis Island Foundation, Inc. This is what the Clemensons would have seen when they came over from Norway to Ellis Island and created their new name for a new life.

There might be more kinds of people that support 47. I don’t want to take my imagination any further.

One of the books I am reading is the founding documents of the United States. I bought it because I wanted a copy of The Constitution but I am also finding a lot in the other documents that are available in the foundation of the United States of America. Our colonists were really abused by England’s king. Many times, in more than one document it is stated that we will not have a king. The reasons are made very clear in more than one document. A king is not all powerful. He must still answer to his Parliament, however he still has power and he did some horrible things to us in his anger and attempt to own us. We have forgotten this. 47’s comments about being king, whether they are a joke or not, are not only unconstitutional, but need to stop. There is a reason we chose our type of government. We chose a president that answered and was held accountable and had less power than our congress on purpose. Our congress is made up of elected officials that can be voted out so that we the people hold the power. This is important to remember. This our country. The United States of America is 47’s too, but he is just one man and he works for us.

Another book I am reading is called Frauen. Each chapter is an interview of a married woman during the Third Reich. Depending on the social class or education level of each woman, the interview is vastly different. The experiences of these women are sometimes similar and sometimes extremely different. Some of the women knew Jewish people and were empathetic to the situation for them. Some women knew that not only Jews, but anyone that wasn’t what was what was considered perfect (disabled people, elderly, queer, gypsies, spies, criminals, black people, etc) were in the work camps and some camps were specifically death camps. Some women had an idea of what happened in the camps, but they were terrified and didn’t talk about it because they might end up there too. Some women didn’t know any Jews and only knew the propaganda they had been taught about the “dirty Jews.” Each story is hard to read. I spent most of my high school experience studying the holocaust, but it was always from the viewpoint of the survivors of the camps. I have never read anything from the people on the outside. Some of these people lived right next to the camps and they had to “not know.” Ignorant, uneducated people that were very religious, although Hitler did not believe in religion and religion was not part of Nazism, were what he wanted. These people were the easiest to manipulate.

I can see why people keep saying they see similarities to now and the Third Reich. But this is not 1933 and we are not in Germany, where we have just lost World War I and we have not recovered yet.

We are The United States of America. We do things our own way. We need to remember this. 47 is president, but this is our country.

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Why Aren’t People Angry Like Me?

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 1, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

I want to confess to you that I am very human. That even though I am a Jesus Follower and I have been all of my life and I have seen Him do amazing things that I am still afraid. I wake up every day and thank Him for my blessings, because I am a blessed woman, and I pour my heart out because I am afraid, not just for myself but for people that don’t know the faith I do. I am also angry. So angry. More angry than I have been in many years because people that claim to be christians are so selfish and have voted in an antichrist as our president and prepared his way with bills in Congress so he can’t be impeached, and voted in his budget that will not pay down any of our debt but will increase it by hundreds of trillions every year, take money away from children, elderly, veterans and the sick, while giving more money to people that already have more than enough. Where is the mercy and grace in this? I ask God every day to help me not sin in my anger, but I know the thoughts I think, and they are not pure. I am sorry.

To feel so unimportant, to feel so erased, and to know so many feel this way, doesn’t make me want to pray for our president or our Congress, although, out of obedience, sometimes I do and sometimes it is even the kind of prayers God can honor, because I am always honest with God and He knows I am human and He knows where I fall short and where I let myself imagine letting all the people that are hurting others go in my mind, because I feel powerless, not because I condone violence or murder, but because I feel my pain and the pain of others and in moments of exhaustion, it seems the only way to make it stop. But I know I am wrong. I know violence only begets more violence and peace is what I really want. Yet this president doesn’t like peace, he thrives in chaos and in making people uncomfortable, so while he is in office, this is what we have.

I have accepted that all blame doesn’t belong on 47 or Musk. They have been empowered by Congress. And Congress has been empowered by republicans, regular people that do not want the same things I want. But I am still very angry. Hopefully God will be able to show me what to do with my anger because I don’t believe anger has to be bad. Jesus got angry. For many of the same reasons I am angry now.

I have a friend that tells me government is too big. It shouldn’t be in our religion, schools and such. I agree, government should stay out of religion, although I don’t mind if churches pay taxes. I also think schools need to be fully funded and offer meals to children and if that means that we need federal funding to do it, than so be it. Some families need more help than others and children should not suffer because their parents or their states can’t or won’t excel. I also think, as the bible says, we should mind our own business and get the hell out of each other’s doctor appointments and procedures. Adults should be able to have any medical procedure necessary for their medical and mental wellness and it should not be a political issue but a decision made between individuals and their medical team alone. What a waste of time and resources we have created by politicizing abortion or gender affirming care! But there are other government services that are being cut right now that are important: transportation, food inspection, national parks are just a few. Some government jobs make it easier to work with other countries, get to work, have safe food to eat, prevent disease through vaccinations and new treatments, go to parks to relieve stress and have fun, help people pay their bills because they are too sick or old to work, just for example.

Jesus said it would be hard for the rich to get the heaven. He said this because He expected us to share. He told us to share freely. He said to not store up things on earth, but in heaven. Many of these people that agree with what is happening want to say they are christians but they don’t want to share, even when what they have more than enough.

I read that even though the goal of DOGE is to find waste, that 47 and Musk were talking about giving the money they found to the people, but not to the people that need it, the people that make over $400,000 per year. This statement makes me angry, not because I won’t get any of that money, but because any money they find should go directly to pay down our national debt. This is also why I am angry about tax cuts for the wealthy. Fiscally we have no business cutting taxes when our national debt is the highest it has ever been. I would even not be so angry about the rape of Medicaid and SNAP programs if it was going to pay down our national debt, but it isn’t, it going to make up for the tax cuts for people that don’t need it.

Why aren’t people storming the White House? I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t understand why these decisions are terrible, not just nationally but globally? The decisions that are being made are going to make The United States of America weak in every aspect. Why aren’t people angry like me?

On top of all of my feelings, to be truthful, my fears and anger are not just about other people. My feelings and fears are about me. I feel like I did as a child. Always knowing that I would have a terrible thing to deal with every day, but not knowing what it would be, who it would be about and how much it would hurt. Never knowing which version of my parent would show up. Never having the tools I needed to handle the stress and emotional neglect and violence I had to shoulder in my abusive, while well-meaning family. I hate feeling like I can’t protect myself or my neighbor. I don’t like feeling like a child. I find myself always looking over my shoulder, checking my email for a news article and trying to deal with that constant pain in my stomach and heart because I know people are hurting because of the choices of politicians and people that I can do nothing about, except pray. And even though I know this is enough, it doesn’t feel like it, because you can pray for someone for your whole life and then realize that they get to choose to be who they are and they might never align with your prayers because they have the right to be who they want to be, no matter what you ask God for. I know this because I prayed for my family to love me all my life, to know the God I knew, for them to hear me and they can’t do it or wont do it.

Because we all get to choose who we are, even if they make laws that say otherwise. 47 can make all the executive orders he wants about gender but Queer and Trans people have always existed and they always will. You can’t erase us. You can make abortion illegal, but they will always happen, whether you like them or not. The more pressure you put on humanity, the more we fight back. You can accuse President Zelenskyy of not being grateful or not wearing the appropriate suit when he visits but he still didn’t start the war in his country, and we know that Russia did and if World War III begins, it might just be because 47 has raised tariffs to a ridiculous level against our biggest trading partners, while teasing them with adding them to the United States, antagonizing the world with buying them out and not supporting organizations that we have always supported, to keep the world in balance, until every country gets sick of 47 shooting off his mouth and they decide to shoot at us and then what will we do.

Yes I am very angry.

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Free Speech

by Summer D Clemenson | Feb 28, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

I was on Facebook, the other day, and I found myself on a feed of a more conservative perspective, where people were enjoying their right to free speech, and I came to realize that these people were the people that voted in the politicians that are responsible for the chaos we are in right now. I always hate it when people just blame the president for every issue we have because the president only has the power Congress allows them. Congress is more powerful than the president. And it is Congress that has empowered 47 and Musk. But it is voters that empowered Congress and 47 and Musk.

The lack of care for individuals, these people showed, should not surprise me. They were ok with thousands of people losing their jobs and health insurance. They were ok with the impersonal way these people are being let go. They were happy with the fear that some of us feel. They considered anyone that disagreed with them garbage and felt free to say it in all sorts of nasty ways. I didn’t comment because I knew they couldn’t hear me. The inalienable right of every man to pursue their happiness was irrelevant to anyone but themselves.

As we watch our scientists lose their jobs and funding, I wonder if anyone with the power has considered that this investment in future knowledge is part of our culture and power. That our reach for science compels us to find answers for illness and technology that also creates relationships even with our enemies. As we isolate ourselves from a world that we helped create on a global scale, this sudden rejection is not going to make us better or great. As our Congress allows our president to run his mouth, unchecked, one day the other countries will get sick of the stress he brings and we can only wonder when war, which our country had been able to keep off our shores for a very long time, might just come to meet us and there will be no one to help us.

I know that all presidents reject executive orders and projects of previous presidents, but the extent that 47 has done this is extreme. Someone asked me about what I thought about the pipeline project that Biden stopped and laid off workers, that Trump had begun when he was 45. But in actuality, that project was begun when Obama was president and before they could get too far, testing showed that the pipeline would poison the waters that the pipeline would be under. It would affect the fish, animals and people that were around that water, so it was stopped by Obama. 45 started it again because he doesn’t care about our environment or our health. When Biden got into office, the same testing happened with the same results that were found when Obama was in office were estimated and Biden put a stop to the project. At the time, there were no definite numbers as to how many jobs the pipeline would create during the build, but they were only temporary jobs. In the end there would only be 50 jobs created to maintain the pipeline, once the project was completed. This, by far, is a much smaller number that the hundreds of thousands of jobs that have been lost and will continue to be cut because of 47’s crusade to make government smaller, even if we need those government workers.

This same person asked me about nurses, doctors and state, local and federal workers that lost their jobs because they refused to be vaccinated for COVID-19. This was an easy response because I have voiced my opinion many times that my rights are superseded by my responsibility to my neighbors to be vaccinated, because the bible says I must love my neighbor as myself, without prejudice. Since I am not allergic and have no medical reason that stops me from being vaccinated, I am up to date on all my vaccines. As a medical professional, I would expect all my medical team to follow the same standard I do. People that work in the medical field or want to work for the government, unless they have a medical reason for not getting vaccinated must live to a different standard as the general public. If they don’t like it, they should have picked a different job.

I don’t really have an answer for all of this. When she shares her information with me, we often disagree, so we are good at agreeing to disagree, because we love each other.

Except for religion, which I believe should never touch politics, government was needed to create balance in schools where states would not or could not. Without government help, some children have no chance of rising above their situation. As far as helping the poor, a healthy working class creates a healthy tax payer, better parents and more stability in society; it adds to the economy when people spend that money on bills, groceries and goods.

The defunding of research not only holds us back from reaching for the answers we need for the future but the relationships we had with other scientists in other countries. The fact that 47 has referred to himself as the king is unconstitutional and confusing to other countries. The fact that he will raise tariffs on Canada and Mexico in a few days, our biggest trading partners, will either be the biggest mistake 47 has ever made or maybe just another error, we will see. 47 has blatantly lied and said that Ukraine started the war with Russia when we all know it was Putin, all along. 47 has tried to erase all transgender people from existence, that is at least 1.4 million people. He is also making it so that businesses can’t choose to use diversity, equality and inclusion practices without fear of the government coming down on them. He has cut off communication between the CDC and the United States people during a break out of the bird flu, measles and flu so we have to rely on the media. He has also provided a long list of words that you can’t use when applying for grants or you will automatically be denied. Some of these words are: woman, black, trauma, victim…just to name a few. This is just a short list of what 47 has done; there is actually a lot more he has done. It has been a very fruitful month for 47.

Someone did question my christianity. I do not call myself a christian. That word has been ruined by people that have not spent enough time reading the Word or have warped it to suit their own purposes. I am a Jesus follower. I am not perfect, but I try to follow Jesus with all my heart and sometimes that causes me to say things people don’t want to hear. Which is probably just one of many reason that I don’t think that politics and religion should mix. I don’t believe I have the right to tell someone how to live their life and I certainly don’t want you to tell me how to live mine.

I am trying to be fair and relate to others. But to be honest it is hard not to be scared.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

Holy Fire

by Summer D Clemenson | Feb 18, 2025 | Poetry, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

It is hard to think with my human mind
Sometimes my spirit is on fire
And I can’t imagine how to move
The direct path is hard to see

Those who live in the spirit
Cannot be judged
They cannot be understood
By those who live in the flesh

It is only God that knows
Where I am going
Where we are going
My arms are tired from holding them up

The champions that are fighting
Must see that someone is for them
So here I stand with my arms stretched out
I am a beacon of light

So many have left love behind
They seek human made things
For validation
For power
For life
But none of this will stand up to fire and brimstone

Only LOVE will survive the holy fire
So I stand here
Because the warriors are winning
Even if it doesn’t look like it

They Can’t Teach You Anything Else

by Summer D Clemenson | Feb 16, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

My heart hurts so much for the persecution that people have been going through and are going through at the hands of people proclaiming to be christians. White people. I used to be one of them, by proxy, but luckily for me, one day, God spoke to me and said, “It’s time to leave. They can’t teach you anything else.”

I cried with God today. I asked Him why He chose 47. Why He lets christian nationalists persecute people for being Queer or Transgender or Native or Black or Latin or Asian or Women or Disabled or any other group that has been othered. He loves all His creation; even if we are wrong, the bible says God leaves us to our depravity. And He said that is what He is doing. I knew He was talking about the white cisgender male christian nationalists, with all my heart.

The God I know doesn’t work in the ways we always understand because He is Spirit and He knows and sees and hears every aspect; we cannot possibly understand everything He understands. He is love in a way most of us cannot comprehend because it is free of condemnation, ulterior motives or evil in any way. I can understand being afraid of Him because conservative christians tell us we are going to hell for any human act, yet that isn’t what Jesus taught. He taught us to love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself, without exception. This requires humility, the same humility that some christian nationalists say is weak. But humility is what is required to love someone as yourself. To have empathy for someone who is different from you.

Jesus said if you want to be first, you must put yourself last. If you do this God will lift you up. This is not what 47 is doing. This is not what people that are hungry for power are doing. This not what people that are condemning are doing.

Jesus said if you are being persecuted, to know that He was persecuted first. Even if you have never considered Jesus, or you have, and became disenfranchised for any number of reasons, know you have something in common with Him. People hated Him because He loved people and He was true to His beliefs even though the church and government persecuted Him. He never stopped speaking His truth.

Christian nationalists are not following the same God and Jesus I do. Their god is judgmental and ready to send sinners to hell. My God has planned for our salvation before the creation of the world because He was excited to love us and be in a relationship with us. Why would a God like that want to condemn us? My God is creative and has expressed His creativity in this amazing world but also in the individual differences of all of us, that are all made in His image. Why would He create you in His image, if He didn’t love you?

Christian nationalists have warped and misunderstood the bible, their religion and even their responsibility to love us all. They are the depraved. We must continue being strong, supporting each other, loving each other, enjoying our differences and being thankful for each other. Be strong. Be blessed. And when you can’t be strong, remember, you are not alone; grab someone’s hand and borrow their strength.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My Jesus Story

by Summer D Clemenson | Jan 20, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I want to share my personal account with you about my God; the Father of Jesus. This is not something that I want to force you to read or make you feel anything negative about so if this is not your type of topic, I won’t be offended if you don’t read it, or you don’t believe me, but I have not copied any of this from anyone else. I don’t go to church, so I am not under the influence of any human doctrine. It is just my Jesus story.

I was raised in a family that believed in God. But it was kind of a fire and brimstone belief. That is not what I believe.

I have always spent a lot of time alone. One day, I was playing under the apple trees in my backyard; my favorite place to be. I was 5. I knew I was suddenly not alone. Jesus was with me. After that, unless I forgot, which is a very human thing to do, I was never alone. Although I didn’t always understand it, I went through phases where I would spend hours in the bible; especially the words in red.

Because my parents divorced when I was young and my father wasn’t around, my mother expected a lot out of me, since I was her oldest child. I didn’t know how to do most things that were expected of me but Jesus was My Friend. He taught me many things. My whole life, I have asked Jesus for help and I would either suddenly have a great idea or later I would have a dream and wake up knowing how to do something I had never done before.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church, with all its blessings and limitations. When I was 20 years old, I heard the voice of God, that still small voice, for the first time. God told me it was time to leave. This church had taught me all they could teach me.

I had never really rebelled as a teenager, like most kids do. I didn’t have time. I had a house, siblings, school and 3 part time jobs that I was responsible for. At 20, I was struggling and as I was starting to express some individuality and experiment with small amounts of alcohol, cannabis and hair color. The response was to shun me, not love me. But God knew me. God knew I would never enjoy anything beyond the hair color for very long. I enjoy sobriety. I am wired that way. God also knew I had gifts that I needed help with that needed a different kind of belief.

I found myself at a nondenominational church that was related to a vineyard church. I was drawn in by the couple with Mohawks near the door and the amazing music. I was intimidated by the groups of people speaking in tongues, or shaking and quaking but I loved watching the dancers and when I was almost ready to leave because this seemed to be too much, the pastor seemed to look me in the eye, from the pulpit, and say I belonged here and wasn’t it wonderful that God could be expressed in so many different ways, so freely?

I stayed there for 5 years learning things that were helpful. Things about the spiritual realm that I had experienced all my life, but could not put into words or didn’t know anyone that could help me understand before this. Some things were useful. Some things were not, but I learned to discern the difference, not from them, but from Jesus. He was still My Friend and Teacher.

When I was 25 years old I realized I was a 20 year old Christian but I felt like a toddler. I wanted to be fed, not just by the milk that the teachers at church gave, but the meat that the bible talks about. I had been failed by humans my whole life and I wanted God to prove The Word was true.

I told God I would not go to church or read the bible until it was proven to me. I don’t recommend this to everyone. It was a risky proposition. But God was faithful. I can’t prove it to anyone but me, but one by one, God proved that God was the author and finisher of my faith.

I visit churches now, but I have not found one that offers the relationship I have with God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Humans, even in their good intentions, mess things up. Politics and human nature can be our worst enemies.

I do read my bible though. Almost every day. I have read it all the way through, I don’t know how many times. Each time, I learn something new. I am encouraged. I learn more about, not only my God but myself. I learn to be objective and I learn to love.

I know that in the bible times there were many gods that were worshiped and many of them may have been aspects of My God because it was believed to even say Yahweh (the Hebrew name for God) was to own God and that was not accepted. Instead of being brave and choosing to follow one God, they broke God into pieces and worshiped God in parts. This is what made God so angry, although God did understand. That is why God had already planned to send Jesus, God’s Son, God in human form to the world so Jesus could relate to us and us to Him and He could give His life as the final sacrifice for all sin and the temples could become places of praise and worship, instead of the slaughter houses they actually were.

It has never occurred to me to learn much about other gods. This is only because no other god has ever chosen me. No other god has come to me and introduced me to themselves; they did not teach me anything, love me or help me in anyway. I am curious about other religions, only in the way that I want to respect other people and their beliefs.

Just as much as I want you to let me have my beliefs. I want to let you have yours. I hope we are both secure in ourselves and our beliefs that we can communicate in respect for each other and even learn from each other. It is my responsibility to love you and this responsibility is greater than any rights that any law a human can give me. If God has chosen you, God will change your mind.

This is my story and my truth.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Loss and Tragedy Are Always Loss and Tragedy

by Summer D Clemenson | Jan 15, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I was scrolling Facebook and saw several posts where people had decided that the fire in California was God’s wrath or it was fine that part of the United States is on fire because the people in that area generally have money. At first I was mortified because I can’t imagine feeling that much hate and judgement towards people I don’t know, but now I just feel sad.

Loss and tragedy are always loss and tragedy. Many of us know people that have lost something, whether it is a loved one, a beloved pet, a place we once went to for fun or relaxation, a job we once relied on, a home we enjoyed or a place we planned to go to. There is wildlife that have lost their homes and lives. There are vulnerable individuals that are still vulnerable. Not everyone in California is wealthy.

The most shocking posts were the ones that blame politicians. I mean how do you blame humans for fire and wind? Or the late rain?

There are firefighters from Canada, Mexico and Africa (and maybe more that I have missed) that found value in us, enough to come help us, but our own citizens, can hate us. I am so thankful for every helper! Every penny and resource donated and every prayer and good thought sent.

Those same people that have decided where God’s wrath should go, I feel sorry for them.

If you want to donate:

The Salvation Army Los Angeles Central Corps
The Red Cross Los Angeles S. Mark Taper Foundation Headquarters

Thank you for your love and kindness. It is contagious. Be well.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Sometimes Yesterday Is Right Now

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 18, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community, Wellness

I got triggered by Father’s Day. I didn’t realize it was Father’s Day before I went on Facebook and saw all the great posts everyone had for their dads. I write about my journey to celebrate my steps and share what I have learned with others that might benefit from my path. I have PTSD and sometimes yesterday is right now but I have new tools.

The episode didn’t actually start on Sunday but had started earlier. Pride usually reminds me of several things that make me feel loss and I work through them. I assume that most of my extended family doesn’t even realize how their actions have affected me and how my mind has created connections through Pride Month; it only makes sense to me and isn’t even fair to include them so I forgive because it isn’t anything they actually did. But the tenderness was already there when I saw the pictures of women with their dads, dancing, fishing, doing puzzles, gardening, cooking or any other relationship building activity.

The most recent reason my extended family is not in my life is that when I needed answers, no one could give me answers that made me feel peace, joy, safety and loved so I left them behind me. I never had success when I was around them so I needed to leave them. Love was not enough. It is my fault I am not in their lives. It was my choice. I do not choose to bad mouth them. They are successful with each other. I was the one that didn’t fit. I found other people that had no problem with my needs.

This truth does not erase my history. I still have PTSD. Once I realized that the emotions I was feeling were not reliable or even recent, I needed to listen to them before they leaked out on an innocent bystander. By the time I was really aware of them they were a big red ball of emotions, mostly anger and hatred toward two people. I have forgiven them so many times. These things are old. I was sitting with God, knowing that I had already forgiven these things. I knew I didn’t hold this against them anymore. My goal was peace. So I began reminding myself of what is true today: They are just people. They are not perfect. They have their own traumas. They have done the best they could. They don’t benefit from my anger and hatred.

I felt the ball of emotions begin to shift as I reminded myself that I don’t want this. I don’t benefit from these emotions anymore. I want them to do well. I want them to be blessed. I want them to have a good life. I want God to love them.

I am going to be honest. I don’t like one of them. It took me almost 30 years to be honest with myself that I hated them. I had to say that so I could forgive myself for that hatred. I don’t hate them anymore but I don’t trust them and I don’t like them and I refuse to have them in my life. It is hard to be loving toward someone you feel that way about. But removing my emotions, I know that my anger and hatred does not benefit anyone that they are around that I love. Those emotions don’t help me either.

The ball of emotions had become very manageable.

It is not always easy to forgive or pray for the people in our past. But it gets easier. It isn’t about those people that once had so much say in our lives. It is about letting them go so we can have peace.

This is a hard article to write. There is a part of me that still wants to tattle. She is many ages of Summer, but I am in control and I am a lady. I am here and I want to see my readers get well and I don’t think telling on people will make anyone feel better. In reality it never made me feel better. I think that sharing what I have learned is what actually helps me move forward.

There are many paths to wellness. For me, medication and therapy, several types, has been a life saver for me. I think everyone should see a therapist for at least a period of time in their life. We can all use more tools to help us use our words and our minds to help us process what the world throws at us. I do know, for me, I would not be here without my relationship with God. God has always turned me in the right direction and spoken truths to me when I was ready to hear them. As I leaned into Them, I learned more and especially gained that peace, joy, safety and love I was looking for.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

But God

by Summer D Clemenson | May 9, 2024 | Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

It was supposed to be warm and sunny today
but in my dream it was snowing
The silence was not available because
you were there to judge as always
You hate me because I am gay
I wanted to call you a slut
because the man you are married to
is not your first
but he is a preacher so his degree frees your tongue
You forget we have all fallen short
and require the grace of God

I left you because my tears were starting to freeze on my face
because I loved you best

Guarding the door
you stood with your rocks and knives
they all had collected for you
You threw a couple but
I slipped in another door
I know you hate yourself and me
but I don’t know why

You were tending you wounds
while your mother told lies and smoked cigarettes
and put them out in her daughter’s arm
If you could get away
If you could get away

I was supposed to go to school
but I didn’t know which box in the garage was mine
I had missed so many days I was overwhelmed
by what it might take to catch up
I have always been left behind
but God

God woke me from the nightmare
He chose me and loved me
He showed me that He was always with me
and with you
and I didn’t have to live in your house
to love you
He made boundaries because I am human
I am not God
I have limits
But I can pray and I don’t have to judge
in response to yours
I can love from my place in Him

Lack of Self-Discipline Betrays Passions

by Summer D Clemenson | May 2, 2024 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

College is a time when we are supposed to learn to think. We often learn more about ourselves and figure out where we stand politically. For many of us, it is the first time we see ourselves separately from our families enough to be able to decide where we stand on a lot of issues. Protests are normal on campuses. Right now, campuses are seeing a lot of unrest and causing clashes with police and shut down classes. Some of the incidents are anti-semitic. Some students want their college to cut ties with any businesses that are profiting off the war with Hamas. Many students want to see a ceasefire between Israel and Palestine.

The problem we have with these protests, is not that they are happening. The United States was created because we protested the way we were being treated by England. It is the foundation of who we are to protest when we see something we want to see changed, to say something, but we are not leaving room for others to disagree peacefully. We are not remaining noncombatant. That is where the police have the right to come in and arrest people. That is where injuries happen. Violence has become the expectation.

The sad part is that it is not just college students that are vandalizing college campuses and endangering people that intend to be peaceful. Many times outside groups are showing up and changing the dynamics of these protests.

Lack of self-discipline betrays passions.

This is where I try to live, but I can’t say that I understand the world I live in. I read The Old Testament and I can’t say I understand it completely clearly either. God is very different before Jesus came to offer grace and salvation.

I have read a lot about the war in Gaza. I don’t understand what it must be like to live in the Middle East. Even when war is ceased, it could happen at any moment. The unrest must be stifling. There are whole groups of people that do not accept that Jesus is the Son of God and they are still held to the standards of the laws in The Torah, or The Old Testament, as I know it. Those standards are impossible and that is why God sent Jesus for anyone that would accept Him. This is easy for me to accept, because that is what I have believed for most of my life, but there are people in Israel that only live by The Torah, in fact, their only job, to study The Torah.

The expectations of their life must be so different than mine. There are some great stories in The Old Testament, but there is a lot of war and lamenting and law in there too.

I have made no opinions about this war because I have nothing to base my opinion on. The people in Israel live such a different life than I do. They have different expectations, beliefs and purposes than I do. The government in Palestine is not strong, they have allowed Hamas to take over and keep them in destitution and control their people. Israel does not want to control them but they don’t want to be terrorized by them either and both countries share religious sites but access is not permitted. There is no peace and no one to lead them to peace. Historically they are brothers but they hate each other.

A long time ago I made peace with the concept that I will never be able to understand everything about God. It is easy for me to file some things under this belief. But I am still concerned because death of innocents is always sad. Pointing fingers always ends up back in my direction because judging does that. So following the money will bring us home and that makes me feel sick.

All I can do is pray. I do know, and I apply this belief in more than one scenario, that God loves His creation. He loves each of us and we are never without Him. I know that He is with us and comforts us to the end so even though it hurts my heart to hear of the deaths of civilians and the mourning of families, I know that God is there too. Because He knew that when he created humans He knew that our lack of self-discipline would always betray our passions.

Arrests roil campuses nationwide ahead of graduation as protesters demand Israel ties be cut by Carolyn Thompson and Margery Beck for Associated Press, Sunday April 28, 2024
What the pro-Palestinian protesters on college campuses actually want by Matt Egan and Ramishah Maruf for CNN, Friday April 26, 2024

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Help Jamie Holloway Communicate

by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 18, 2024 | Local Interests, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Most of you know my sister,Jamie Holloway. I mention her all the time. She is my best friend and my adopted sister. She is a huge inspiration to me and so many other people because of her strength and her drive to live as well as she can with some pretty scary chronic illnesses. If it wasn’t for her I would be miserable and not know what to do about it. But she chooses joy as much as she can. She chooses wellness and pro-activity as often as possible. She educates herself and those around her, every chance she gets.

When you are chronically ill and can’t work, it is hard to make ends meet. I am lucky that I have a hard working wife. I am lucky that we are able to make Jamie part of our monthly budget because she doesn’t have much left after her rent is paid. Jamie is lucky that there are a few of us that make up her team that keep things going but it is hard when things like her laptop or cell phone die. We are all managing our budgets.

Jamie is needing some help with her electronics. If you can help with a few dollars, towards these things it would bring so much happiness to her, just in time for her birthday May 21st. We are asking for $1000 to cover the cost of her communication devices and maybe a shelf for her bedroom wall. If we all pitch in, she will be one happy 50 year old!

Please click to learn more about the GoFundMe we set up for her.

When she gets her new laptop, I might have to give her blog at JamieChasesButterflies.com a facelift…she looks a lot different now. 🙂

Thank you for loving Jamie!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.