The 5th Blanket of 2026

The 5th Blanket of 2026

by | Oct 20, 2026 | Art, Community, Yarn

Out of all the blankets I have created, the 5th blanket of 2026 is the one that is the hardest to give away. I love it! I pray whoever uses this blanket will feel the love I put into it. The colors make me happy. I hope the user is happy when they see it. It is big enough to be a nice lap blanket or a good-sized floor blanket. You might even be able to use it as a bed spread on a toddler bed. I know that Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1045 will find a happy home for this beautiful blanket.

If you would like to donate any yarn to me or any blankets to Living Ministries, I am the person to contact for that. You can also donate yarn or crocheted baby blankets at Wellness Works NW which is located inside Forever Fit Gym at 1211 18th Ave, Longview, WA.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

My Weapon of Choice

My Weapon of Choice

by | Oct 18, 2026 | About Summer, Life, Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

If I were only human
I would be scared of me
because I can’t tell you
where the miracles come from
if God were not my weapon of choice
because He is my strength and shield

~

He leads me to abundance and safety
He is the author of my peace
He takes me where we will both will be blessed
because it makes Him happy
Even if I am surrounded by evil and death
He is my comfort
He blesses me openly with goodness and mercy
and I am never separate from Him

~

When I have had no one
I have had Him
When we didn’t have enough
He carried us through to the next day
I asked you if you talked to God about that
because I don’t wallow in worries
I take them to the maker of miracles

~

I do have burdens
but I don’t carry them alone
I hope that you would know what that feels like
because when you tell me your problems
this is how I know to help you
I wasn’t pushing you away
I was suggesting the Creator help you with this one

~

Without Hurting You

Without Hurting You

by | Oct 17, 2026 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Poetry

I don’t know everything I want right now
that is outside the norm
without hurting you

~

I know the truth is too much
it always has been
my anger and depression
has always had a cause
because I don’t like being set aside

~

I didn’t answer the phone when you called
because I wasn’t ready to talk
I didn’t invite you over
but you marched up to my door
and Karen let you in

~

I didn’t hug you back
I didn’t say I love you
because I wasn’t ready to pretend I was ok

~

The pleading in your eyes
The fear in your voice
Tell me you need me to keep up the facade
I know how to stand strong and look good
while on the inside I am falling apart

~

The holidays are coming
and we had nice ones last year
Make sure to finesse the situation
with tradition and expectation
while I am changing therapists and insurance plans

~

While I am planning chemotherapy
and considering losing my hair
I am scared
and i am choosing who will speak for me when I can not

~

You call and beg for a place at the table
but I can’t take care of you
You act like because you can buy me things that you are helping

~

But you are asking me to carry a lot
You like to listen to me talk about other people
but you can’t bear that I might be talking about you
You have said you are sorry
but you have never repented

~

If you were listening
You would know that’s what I need
but then you might not be the hero
But actually, you would be
Because repenting means you would try to stop

~

I know I want too much
I know you can’t give me what I need
You can’t see me as an adult

~

You can’t see me as separate from you
You can’t not manipulate situations to your satisfaction
Regardless, I do love you

~

You have to give me time
It has to be about me this time

~

The 4th Blanket of 2026

The 4th Blanket of 2026

by | Oct 13, 2026 | Community, Yarn

It’s amazing what gets lost when you move. I actually made the 4th blanket of 2026 in August, but it didn’t get delivered until mid-September and I did take pictures, but I forgot to write about it until today. This blanket was fun because I had a lot of variegated yarns to play with to keep it colorful. This blanket is large enough to be a good-sized lap blanket. Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1045 were excited to get it!

If you would like to donate any yarn to me or any blankets to Living Ministries, I am the person to contact for that. You can also donate yarn or crocheted baby blankets at Wellness Works NW which is located inside Forever Fit Gym at 1211 18th Ave, Longview, WA.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

Unacceptable Actions

Unacceptable Actions

by | Oct 12, 2026 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Poetry

I can’t hold you up
because I am crying inside
When you manipulate me
I see you
I have never liked this game

~

You tell me you don’t want me
to cut you off
but you called me a liar
and you said I used God as a weapon
These are core parts of me
Why do want to be here?

~

I don’t want to make myself small anymore
I deserve to stand tall
to use big words
to be who I really am
I like the life I have built

~

Repentance is a lifestyle
It requires humility, honesty, and heart
I have been practicing and it has change me
in ways I want to share
But if you are not interested
That is your choice

~

Mental illness is not something I asked for
but I work hard to be here now
To live in peace
but the cancer meds are antagonizing
the mind monsters and the traumas my body holds

~

I am not responsible for your actions
or your responses
but when you hurt me
I will need a time out
Unacceptable actions will always bring natural consequences
because that is how we learn

~

He Knows How He Carried Me

He Knows How He Carried Me

by | Oct 3, 2026 | About Summer, Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I don’t feel broken
I don’t focus on my scars
I don’t feel desperate when I talk to Jesus
because He knows how He carried me
and how far

~

I might be in a storm
and I might be tired
But I have to be pretty worn out
before I pause or think of giving up
and even then
I know I just need to hand the reins to God
and take a nap

~

I have passed through many rivers
and never been overcome
I have walked through many flames
and I have never caught on fire
Sometimes when you think you are reminding me
that I am not alone
I worry that over the sound of you I won’t hear the voice
that got me through these trials
That created this trust I hold

~

When you look at my mistakes and call them failures
God has taught me
to be thankful for the learning process
You said I am here because I earned it
But you don’t truly comprehend that I have never been alone
I have walked with God since I was a child
And when I needed more
Karen was ready to step in and even if you can’t understand
God is head of our household
and together we stand side by side

~

I am here to learn to trade love for fear
and to be a blessing
Christ was challenged while He was on earth
why would I expect anything different
If I want to be like Him
I should expect a few trials
but I have mercy and love because He said so

~

It only looks like I am walking here
because He has been carrying me all along

~

`Image Credit: Photo by Sarah Rypma.

~

Nana is Still in My Heart

Nana is Still in My Heart

by | Oct 2, 2026 | About Summer, Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I asked God to help me not say fuck
when you are here
I remember when Casey was 3
and I told him not to say that same word
around you because it hurt your feelings

~

I know the same God that
helped me quit smoking
and who loves you more than me
will help me find other words to use around you
And not because Nana would disapprove

~

Nana is with Jesus now
and the things that trip up humans
are not holding her back anymore
She understands the roar in my ears
The constant pain I live in
The distractions and worries that keep my hand at my throat
just like her when she was here
The ambitions I have to choose from because
I only have so many spoons and pennies

~

I learned so much from Nana while she was here
She taught me how to live
She taught me manners and how to love
She taught me about choice and family
But now she is gone and I am learning to walk without her

~

But Nana is still in my heart

~

Note: I wrote this poem on 9/10/2026 but I misplaced it and it took me a while to find it 

~

Etcetera

Etcetera

by | Sep 29, 2026 | Art, Life, Opinions, Poetry

I was never created to apologize
as much as you expect me to
Just like Nirvana
just like you
We are all meant to
“Coma As You Are”
But somewhere we learned to lie to ourselves
to each other
to the stranger on the street
Because for some reason
we decided that people had value
and some get to have more than others
So the woman at Cornell
who was raped by 7 men
is worth less than her rapists
Or because I honor my wife
someone else feels left out
even though I am not dismissing anyone
We have lost the meaning of honor
Of love
Of what is “Good For the Soul”
Of what sex really is
Because we learn in health class
it is a bodily function
But we don’t learn that it also
encompasses our heart, soul, and mind
It can create life or death
It can do worse than make a baby
but pass on sickness that leads to death
And that is why I wish Madonna and Sabrina
Would not have performed their song at the VMAs
“Bring Your Love”
in a public restroom
where people are randomly
and casually have sex
because even though people do it
I would hope that we all would work harder
to invoke the honor and love we deserve
In everything we do
And we have to start somewhere
on these unspecified additional things
that have more meaning
than we have assigned them
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera

~

You’re Always Welcome In My Heart

You’re Always Welcome In My Heart

by | Sep 15, 2026 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions, Poetry

We had planned to grow old together
while we giggled in math class
or fell asleep because life was challenging
We recognized a sameness
in each other
Not exactly but we knew to be gentle 
How to not push on the damaged parts

~

Our love has always been as honest
as we could afford to be
It was earned and learned
We even took a break
when we could not grow
beside each other
Trauma is a terrible divider

~

Real love made us sisters
Even separated we were devoted
Love brought us back together
because true love can seed reconciliation
and God is the best Creator
He knew we needed each other

~

We have spoken life to each other
I know God has written the script
more than once
when I could hear no one
I could hear you
I have felt the temperature change
because I said or didn’t say something

~

I have enjoyed reaching middle age with you
I don’t care about things that use to
be so heavy
Honesty has sometimes gotten easier
but sometimes it is harder too
We aren’t going to grow old together
I don’t want to waste our time talking about it

~

You have helped make me brave
You have helped me look at things
I didn’t want to see
You have helped me find the real me
You helped me find my voice
You showed me how to let others be
You have been one of my greatest gifts

~

I can never repay you
and you will never ask
But if you want anything
If I can bless you in any way
that I haven’t thought upon on my own
all you have to do is ask
Love is just not a big enough word

~

You’re always welcome in my heart

~

For Jamie

~

Third Blanket for 2026

Third Blanket for 2026

by | Jul 27, 2026 | Community, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Yarn

A couple weeks ago Karen G Clemenson came home with some more yarn for me. I felt bad because I think our connection at the VFW thought I was out of yarn because I hadn’t sent any new ones for a while. I have yarn, I just had been reading and working on our websites and not crocheting. So I have begun making time to crochet. I finished this one last week. I am now working on another one.

I went through the two bags of yarn I already had, and the new bag and put them together, I even rolled the ones that hadn’t been rolled to get them ready to use and I have quite a bit. I had so many wonderful colors that I decided just to use as many colors as I could on this one. What I love about this blanket is that it is a great size for a large floor blanket for a baby to play on or a small lap blanket. I know whoever gets it will feel blessed because I feel blessed to have made it.

I have a few people that love my work and use the things I will make for them. It was fun to hear that the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1045 handmade baby blankets. They even give me yarn to create them. So now when I watch TV I have someone to create for. It makes me heart happy to think about a new person being wrapped in my gift of love.

If you would like to donate any yarn to me or any blankets to Living Ministries, I am the person to contact for that. You can also donate yarn or crocheted baby blankets at Wellness Works NW which is located inside Forever Fit Gym at 1211 18th Ave, Longview, WA.

~

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

The Auntie’s Creed

The Auntie’s Creed

by | Jul 15, 2026 | About Summer, Opinions, Poetry

I heard today that here are times
that just like me
you want the pain to stop so badly
that you want to die

~

So I want to tell you
that the day you were born
I was forever made better
because my heart began to walk outside

~

I would do anything to see your smile
That even if we need to cry or scream
for many days first
I would wait for your smile

~

There is a piece of me missing
as long as you are away
You enrich everyone around you
because there is no one else like you

~

Your way of thinking inspires me
When you reteach me what I thought I already knew
it takes my breath away
Your dreams are like firecrackers on the 4th of July

~

No one else can you like you do
Even if you piss off one person
you are gift to someone else
You showed me what I was here for

~

So when you feel like you doubt your value
come find me and I will show you
Good job being special
I am proud of you

~

I just love you

~

So Here Is To My Joy!

So Here Is To My Joy!

by | Jul 9, 2026 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Poetry

I knew your nasty cancer ass was here
before the test came back positive
Nobody else feels like you do
But I decided I won’t give you what you want
Anger is your favorite side of me
So I might be a little sad, tired, or scared
But I am surrounded by strength
When I don’t have my own
I have someone else to hold onto
I will focus on thankful
I will perpetuate education
and hope and peace and love
because that is how we won the first time

~

Grammy has been here
You liked her so well
you attacked her twice and won
Nana visited me too
She beat you twice
Grandma beat you more than once
She has also stopped by recently
to remind me how strong I am
My grandmothers remind me that
technology has come so far since their day
But life goes on and they are still supporting me
because love doesn’t die
Even if bodies do

~

Mom asked me why you’re back
I know she just wants me not to hurt
Sickness just happens sometimes
God never promised an easy life
He did promise He would never leave or forsake me
He has carried me every time I couldn’t walk
Nothing will separate me from His love
and not only His but Karen 
who quietly takes notes
Jamie who researches for me
Friends who send me loving messages and
the person reading this because
you have that tear running down your cheek

~

I have one of the best doctors in The United States
I’m not sure how that happened
but I am thankful for the blessing
Endometrial Cancer is slow growing
This time it is in a different spot and in my lymph nodes
Dr Westhoff said systemic was the way to go
So, pills are number one
The ones I took last time are a no
They caused blood clots and weight gain
She is excited that I have lost over 100 pounds
But Letrozole causes joint pain
Well pain is just something to tackle
So I have decided I am going to win this time too

~

And I have contacted my rheumatologist and my neurologist 
I will see my primary next week
because this fight takes the whole team
I talk to my therapist on the 20th
I think I will be ok until then
So here is to my joy!
Because I never understood the phrase
“Fuck Cancer”
I only have enjoyed sex with those I truly love
and trust and want to hold onto
And YOU, my dear, are none of those things
I never thought you were really gone
But I will only truly be happiest when you are out of my life forever!

~

Living Ministries

Living Ministries

by | Jun 29, 2026 | About Summer, Cowlitz County, Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

If my cries for help
can somehow
change from the groaning of my soul
with no words that I know
to joyful worship of You
before You hear me
That is my prayer

~

I know I need
I know I struggle
and so do You
But so do all of my siblings
and we are all connected
to one another
We are part of each other

~

You are not afraid of pain
and sorrow
You have born it all
and You will help us heal
each other
One laugh, one smile,
one kind word at a time
One bottle of water

~

Living Ministries
are a tribute to life
Ministry refers to a position of service
or an administrative body
It spans distinctly 3 areas:
government, Spirit, and art
This is my heart

~

I am a child of Cowlitz County
It is her that I love
Let us learn her song
and dance together
Let us be
Cowlitz County Strong
together

~

Living Ministries was begun in November of 2010 mainly out of my broken heart for homeless people who were falling through cracks in services. We had a great run. We worked with many great organizations and helped a lot of people with fundraising and encouragement. And then I got sick and political things happened and life went along as it does. One thing that I did as Living Ministries was to create an Online Resource Database and I have continued to maintain it. I have not done anything else; however, I know Living Ministries is not done. If you would like to get together with me or are interested in joining with me, please fill out our Board Member Application. If you have any questions, please Contact Living Ministries.

Living Ministries (Summer D Clemenson) promises to keep your information confidential. We cannot promise privacy for any information given via email. Please do not send personal information via email.

~

The Pain That Doesn’t Heal

The Pain That Doesn’t Heal

by | Jun 26, 2026 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions, Poetry

I’m sitting here in the night
it is quiet except
for Karen‘s occasional snoring
and the ringing in my left ear
I’m waiting for a new idea

~

I listen to her breathe
She has been my strength
when I couldn’t find mine
because I have been waiting
Hoping that someone would save me
from the pain that doesn’t heal

~

Some pain doesn’t heal
Some because it is chronic
mentally or medically
and some because it even cut the soul
So even if it kind of gets better it always festers

~

But I like the quiet
The dreams haven’t come yet
Maybe they will foresee a beautiful future 
instead of being a traumatic nightmare
where Karen wakes me up
or worse, my face explodes and I wake myself up
and writhe in the bloodless nerve pain

~

Some pain doesn’t heal
in fact, you know it will be there
Even if it isn’t there now
It will find you
and being brave is not a choice it is a lifestyle

~

I Handed it To Him

I Handed it To Him

by | Jun 24, 2026 | About Summer, Opinions, Poetry

They didn’t protect me as a child
they must have noticed I wasn’t there
when he came to see his mother
They knew his abuse
They knew what broke him
Some even helped make him who he is
They knew he was not safe
and still is not

~

They will not protect me now
No one is coming
I am here with my wife
knowing that his second wife
has consumed any goodness in him
and no one will stop him
They have chosen him over me
Again, I am collateral damage

~

This mental illness that has been passed down
through generations is called PTSD
because violence, porn, and neglect do not raise healthy adults
Every trip from Longview to Yakima
he screamed at me all the hate he had trapped inside
and then from Yakima to Longview he did it again
When I get triggered, it feels brand new
It takes a few days to pack it away again

~

I have cut ties with many people
I must let go of everything that does not serve me
I asked Karen if she is ready
to be the Kelso-Longview Clemensons
tethered to no one
Because no one is coming to save me
She said: Bring it on!
The woman who’s name I bear is dead

~

We get to define it however we like
So, from now on if you say you love me and you don’t prove it
Keep walking
God said He was more important than family
and now I know why
Because I held a human heart in my prayers last night
and I could have cursed it but instead, I handed it to Him
and not everyone will do that

~

Many Ways to Serve

Many Ways to Serve

by | Jun 20, 2026 | Cowlitz County, Opinions, Poetry

sometimes I hurt all over
and I don’t know why
I remember Mom asking me why
I was angry when I was a girl
and I didn’t know then
and I don’t know today
I just hurt all over
all over it hurts
and I don’t know why

~

every day I offer this pain to God
I give Him these tears
and every day there are more to give Him
He told me to give up the things
that no longer serve me
but I feel like this is a job
to serve Him
this collection of tears and pain
to give to Him that will never end

~

last night I sang with my brother
there were other performers
but when he sang
we sang to God and the Spirits moved
and souls were ruffled because angels
were with us and Jeff broke the sound barrier
and we were in a bar
and that is not an offering normally sold there
but we gave it freely

~

today I have collected new tears
and the pain has assembled
because humanity is prolific
this is not what God meant
but He knew what we would do
when He said to be fruitful and multiply
I can’t bear children
but I am aware of pain
I collect it even without trying

~

so I stretch and do my workouts
to remain flexible
I talk to God as much as I remember
and it doesn’t sound holy
I must read the good book regularly
or my mind gets negative beyond healthy
and I leave many humans alone
because they are not safe
even if I love them and they love me

~

There are many ways to serve

~

The Spirit Feeds

The Spirit Feeds

by | Jun 20, 2026 | Cowlitz County, Opinions, Poetry

It occurred to me
I am no longer afraid of the things in the dark
The things that scare me most
happen in the daylight
People arrested for peacefully protesting
A baby shot because his mother stole diapers
Small businesses taxed so high
Police officers who can’t arrest
homeless people who defile the businesses
My mother has had a tumor on her liver for years now
She has insurance but her doctors just keep watching it
The paper plant in my hometown had a catastrophic event
because the tank holding caustic liquid was above ground
so it didn’t have be inspected by anyone
so 11 men died on a Tuesday in May

~

Maybe it is because I have stared death in the eye
more than once
Cancer lost and even blood clots didn’t win
Maybe it’s because I am older now
and my perspective is coming from a different angle
But the things that made me cry when I was a child
still make me take a pause and a breath
My fear is for things I really don’t understand
Like senselessness, selfishness
and people who don’t listen to their soul
No matter what side of the sun they are on terrify me

~

“Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger
and wrangling and slander, together
and all malice.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another,
as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Therefore be imitators of God,
as beloved children,
and walk in love,
as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us,
a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Ephesians 4:31 through 5:1

~

I want to trade my traditions and religious training
for freedom
to love and laugh and speak life
into my fellow humans who feel tired
forgotten, overworked and heavy burdened
Because our Spirit is supposed to be free
to do the things I just said
And the contract is easy if you love
And it doesn’t matter what time it is
or where you are
Because religion stalls
but the Spirit feeds us
and creates even if you aren’t used to it yet
You can grow into it

~

Note: Jamie Holloway colored the art and inspired the scripture to polish this poem which was started at the Songs of Hope Fundraiser for the families of the Nippon Disaster that happened in May 2026. I started writing this poem while I was listening to an artist talk about one of her songs at Fei’s Carriage Restaurant and Lounge.

~

Let Go

Let Go

by | Jun 15, 2026 | About Summer, Opinions, Poetry

I have been run through with this sword more than once
Many have held it
but your hand hurts pretty bad
Because you keep saying you
love me exactly the way I am

~

I respect our differences
I find you fascinating
I love your brain and heart
even if we will never be able to talk about politics
I have never met anyone more intense than me before

~

I think that makes the sword two sided and more deadly
because I feel like I’m bleeding out
and the boundaries only work
if they are honored
and we can’t seem to act in return

~

I am guilty too
but when you tell me how I hurt you
I don’t mince words or shirk ownership
Yet you only apologize for your words and then I seem to pay
because you are not careful enough with me

~

You say you feel shell-shocked
because I overreacted
I own that because I did
but DEI and Pride are not political to me
They are my life

~

I live them so they aren’t just talking points
and when my wife is being attacked in public
and I can’t save her
and my city has had a catastrophe and I am mourning
and you want me to be casual

~

When nothing about me is accidental
maybe unedited or anxiety ridden at times
but that is my disorder
DEI includes Women, Disabled, Immigrants, and Queer
It’s not just Black and White

~

When my body is striking a war against me
and I can’t speak
or eat or drink or sleep
I guess I need some empathy
and not a dispute

~

Even though you are suffering too
and we both know the meaning of bombardment
I can’t be what you need anymore
Because while you are struggling to breathe
I am fighting to exist

~

I have to let go now
Love wasn’t the issue
How we define it is different
I don’t choose to fight with you anymore
I need my energy for me

~

Systems Made to Help People

Systems Made to Help People

by | Jun 12, 2026 | Poetry

My soul is often screaming
and right now I am not ok
As fast as I can break a contract
I find another that festers
I want to be free

~

Free from promises
no one will keep
Even if they say so
Even if they love me
Even if I forgive them over and over

~

This is bigger than politics
This is bigger than systems
that keep you and me trapped
in groups based on demographics
like skin color or nation of origin
disability, financial status, religion
sexuality or gender identity

~

If I can’t be myself
without being found guilty
If there is no gentleness
or honesty or protection on all sides
no wonder I spend most of my time by myself

~

I don’t see things in black and white
And some days my bruises color my response
I have wanted to be different but I can’t
because I am always on fire
even if it is just a few embers

~

I’m losing interest in things one by one
Systems made to help people
don’t work for me
And I need a break
I’ve been pulling the fire alarm
but since you can’t see the flames
I hope I don’t take you out when I implode

~

I must let go of everything that does not serve me
I have been trying for a long time
for as long as I can remember
Things are easy to hand over
its the memories that linger

~

Which is why it is easier to love strangers
to not let people get too close
Why I can live in a chasm
but never let anyone have access
unless I am in control

~

Truth has many sides that depend on what side you are on
Because the world is schizophrenic or at least bipolar
Every system is set up to fail someone
Limitations are not imagined
I can only give out of my abundance
unless I choose to let myself erupt
because I didn’t learn to release

~

Because I am above ground
Federal and State inspections are not required
short of a catastrophic failure
much like the swamp that was supposed to be drained
which is why the president’s house is not transparent

~

 When we can’t understand what is happening
around ourselves that we get angry
and we can’t see what we are really doing
That we stop making the right decisions
And we start or we continue letting fear get bigger than love

~

A Tuesday In May

A Tuesday In May

by | Jun 7, 2026 | Cowlitz County, Local Interests, Opinions, Poetry, Politics

The spots on my pillow
are from when I bled in my sleep
The tears of my people
who have walked with my feet
The groans I hear inside
usually do not overcome
the ringing in my ears
To suffer is to have lived
To have looked at your fears
Many can ignore this
But I am uniquely wired

~

The water tasted different when I was a child
Delicious and refreshing
Now metallic and pithy
But I think the change came
as a choice to protect us from
Industry and Commerce
so that our needs for bills to be paid
For homage to the
Almighty Dollar
would not strip us of our need
for a glass of water

~

The men came home yesterday
from the medical examiner in Seattle
Soon they will be laid to rest
among their people
May we never forget the light they carried
May we hold it for them
and honor them in our love and laughter
May we hope and dream
May we learn and lean
May we never let what happened at Nippon
happen again

~

But let us cherish the way we came together
How we loved each other
in honor of these every day people
Who just showed up to work
on a Tuesday in May
But didn’t go home to their homes on earth
So we rallied and supported
their children and each other
Because there are many kinds of families
Cowlitz County isn’t perfect
but we are family

~

Seatbelts

Seatbelts

by | Jun 6, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

We don’t say drive safe
because you are a bad driver
But because sometimes you might be tired
from working overtime so you can pay your bills
And what about people who get sick
Because a stroke of genius
is not the only thing that can
happen behind the wheel
And what about people who just don’t care
because no one makes you hand over your keys
when you take a toke or a drink or however you escape
That’s why we wear seatbelts
and they don’t care what color you are

~

The same goes with White Supremacy
it tastes different in everyone’s mouth
Because we know it at different degrees
You might not actually hate
but you might know someone who does
You might hold beliefs born of this disease
But if you don’t or you won’t look at it
it wont change
You might not hate me
or my Black wife
But if you won’t even look at it
what does that say to me?
Fear is an equal opportunity employer

~

 Dr Samuel Johnson said in his 1775 treatise
Taxation No Tyranny
“How is is that we hear the loudest yelps
for liberty among the drivers of negroes?”
Most of our founding fathers owned slaves
because they had never known a world without them
Black people were seen as property
and used against us even by the British
It was wrong but if you can’t see it
How do you change?
But 250 years later we are celebrating our freedom
and it is time to look at our foundation and
see if there are holes to be filled

~

We are the United States of America
We are not a continent
We are a community
and together we need to live
To do this we must take our good medicine
Take our seatbelts off and move around
I want to see if we can trade any of this fear for love
then maybe we can be on the solid ground
Celebrate all of us
Even the hard parts because we deserve it
Acknowledging everyone is scary
but only for a little bit
Because freedom is found in the daylight

~

Raptor Means To Take By Force

Raptor Means To Take By Force

by | Jun 4, 2026 | Chronic Illness, Cowlitz County, Opinions, Poetry

He’s not too much
if you understand him
because he sees the beauty
in the quiet softness and it isn’t an act
The soft voice and black fingernails aren’t for you
They make him happy
while he sings songs about
eyelashes and dinosaurs
and purple because
that is where his magic is at

~

“When you dream
will you dream of me”
All he wants is what he gives
Because he doesn’t want to live alone
But its hard to carry
a chronic person
when you’re a chronic person
and that’s who he picks
Instead of someone who gives
and doesn’t keep score

~

But he’s always a gentleman
no matter the temperature
of his songs you’ll never know
how cold or how big
the history of him is
Because like an iceberg
You only see a bit
He deserved happiness and rainbows
but instead that is what
he writes songs about

~

Tattoos and hats cover what he hates
His 2nd wife calls him a loser
But I see how he takes garbage
people who don’t know throw at him
and he makes custom guitars and beautiful songs
So like the term raptor means
“to seize by force”
that is what Jeff does with life
And what you take from him
He makes it into a treasure

~