When it gets too cold
my joints curse me
and talking becomes explosive
The nerves in my face might have
taken my ability to speak but I
can still use paper and ink
This warm blanket helps me sleep
in spite of my chronic illnesses
caused by childhood traumas
~
But if I allow it this blanket will
dull my senses
It will block out the voices of
those around me
Stop me from seeing the needs
of anyone but me
Let me think that my experiences
are more important that yours
even though you wear t-shirts that say Oppressed Minority
~
You say Love is Love
but when I said we should love them too
You said I was selfish and cruel
You called me names and told me
my words were illegal
You said I wanted segregation
You told the owner on me
You suggested you might leave
so they turned on me because I am not a Xerox machine
I can’t feel the way you demand
I don’t hate you but I don’t hate them either
I also love myself and I didn’t say what you said
~
What I actually said was love
like trauma is universal
Everyone has experienced it
Maybe we could share some empathy
and work together
But what I feared is what I already knew
The people who are stuck at the far
left or the right don’t really
want change
They like their warm blankets
~
It would have meant so much
if anyone would have stood up for me while I was being attacked
and called names
when it was
in fact
you that was abusing me
You didn’t seem so fragile in that moment
But I have been the scapegoat before
and the golden child never does appear to be who they actually are
and the flying monkeys never know the role they play
They will do just about anything to keep the peace
Because that is what enablers do
~
I have been schooled on narcissists
and Honey I won’t play this game
Many White men is assholes cause they can be
They live up on they hill with the bright lights
cause they has all the money
and they stand on people like me
~
They take what they wants like its a gift
While women and children cry rape
and prisons are filled with some criminals
and people that should be free
~
They take their pictures grouped together
with they chests proud and puffed out
But the darkness shows in they eyes and policies
Sometimes they bring a women along to make you believe they lies
~
The reason a judge had to order desegregation
was sho nuf proof of evil
And hardly no fathers would send they babies
while they still wore scars of whippings and lynchings at the hands of the Invisible Empire
~
They women is working behind they backs to move forward without em
Or right there beside em because they also have felt
the whip and the rape and the holding down
They want what is promised not matter what they hafta give em
~
They tell us to hate each other the blacks, the foreigners, the transgenders
They tell us they need tax breaks
but they make me pay’m even while they cut my hours
~
They love they’s hill when the flood comes
they gets to look down on us while the shit water drowns us
and proclaim the stock market is up
so everything is fine and we should keep our chins up
~
I may not be right educated
cause they stole the school tax dollars for their fancy party
But I ain’t too stupid to know what fleecing is
I have been watching this for all of history
I have seen the 1985 interpretation of the historical fiction cinema version of The Color Purple, originally written by Alice Walker, directed by Steven Spielberg, produced by Quincy Jones, and starring actors like Oprah Winfrey several times. It always makes me cry and laugh, and cry some more. I bought this classics book several months ago, not knowing when I would be brave enough to read it. Finally it landed in my hands and I have to say that this book could not have been translated as it is, in 1985 but they did what they could. I plan to watch the 2024 version of the movie tonight. I am excited that the same team of Jones, Spielberg and Winfrey worked together again and I know now we can accept the full story about black culture, feminism and even LBGTQIA+ ways at a time that is more open-minded.
“I’m getting tired of Harpo, she say. All he think about since us married is how to make me mind. He don’t want a wife, he want a dog.” said Sofia. “I don’t like to go to bed with him no more…Used to be where he touch me I just go all out my head…Now I feels tired all the time. No interest.”
Celie said: “But I say this just to be saying something. I don’t know nothing bout it. Mr. ____ clam on top of me, do his business, in ten minutes us both sleep. Only time I feel something stirring down there is when I think about Shug.”
Sofia say: “The worst is I don’t think he notice. He git up there and enjoy himself just the same. No matter what I’m thinking. No matter what I feel. It just him. Heartfeeling don’t even seem to enter into it. The fact he can do it like that make me want to kill him.”
In this world some things can make us feel trapped. Marriage can be one of them. If you don’t know what a good one is and you don’t know you can expect more, you are stuck. In the early 1900’s women, especially black women didn’t have many options, even in fiction. Celie was uneducated and unloved by the men in her life. But between her sister, Nettie, and then by Shug, Celie learned love.
Celie said: “What God do for me?…he give me a lynched daddy, a crazy mama, a lowdown dog of a step pa and a sister I probably wont ever see again. Any how, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgitful and low down.”
Shug said: “The think I believe, God is inside you and inside every body else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside find it. And sometimes it just manifests itself even if you not looking, of don’t know what you looking for. Trouble do it for must folks, I think. Sorrow, Lord. Feeling like shit…Everything want to be loved…Man corrupt everything. He on your box of grits, in your head, and all over the radio. He try to make you think he everywhere. Soon as you think he everywhere, you think he God. But he aint. Whenever you trying to pray, and man plop himself on the other end of it, tell him to get lost.”
It’s funny how, everyone judged Shug but she was the one that knew the most about love. You need to read this Pulitzer Prize winning book.
The Color Purple by Alice Walker is a story of a black woman in the early 1900’s learning what can’t be taught in school. That she is loved. That she can make choices. That being honest has virtue. In fact written words can give us hope to create our future. Celie learns with the help of a few good friends that that which was taken from her, will return, if she is faithful. This story is so important for sisters, for women for people.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Do you practice in the Spirit or in the law
Is it more important to have butts in the seats
Or do you walk in the Spirit and Truth
When you vote is it based on blind elephants
or break neck donkeys
Have you considered your neighbor or you queer child
What is most important to you
When you serve is it because they told you to
or is it what you want to do
~
I love the pretty advertisements
the memes about relationships and love
But at least 70 percent of people
in ICE detention centers are innocent
Have you tried to do anything about that
There are over 70 thousand people just rotting
over traffic violations not violent crimes
What part about the least of these
doesn’t qualify this part of human kind
~
Love is light and Jesus is full of it
but surprisingly many Christians read dark
As I become more aware of the gift I live
I have no patience for the lies we are fed
by the spiritually bankrupt and the stagnant
I have walked with God for 45 years
I enjoy reading my bible but I don’t revere it
There is not confusion where my devotion lies
If creation can’t teach you love how can I help you hear it
~
The things humans worship are futile
power, money, things to own, even our ideas
traditions, expectations, even things that hurt us
Can tear us to bits
Can induce the building of monuments
Can cause us all to pay homage to them
Can make something innocent
Deadly
Can stoke the hell fire at our feet
~
But waiting in the silence you’re afraid of
learning who you are
It is terrifying but the best cure
Once you know yourself they can’t confuse you
There is no counterfeit you’ll accept
After you’ve tasted the real truth
Fancy dresses are for models
But if you can look yourself in the eye
You can accept how God really loves you
~
Whatever you call your Creator
If you have ever constructed something into existence
you know an intimate love
That is how much you are valued
You don’t need pews, stained glass, and special garments
to know how much you are renowned
to know any praise you can give
is reciprocated
Take a breath with the breath He put in your lungs
~
Community is wonderful
Making casseroles for people
who come to you is great
Jesus said to love God with everything you have
and love your neighbor as yourself
He said that all laws fell into these
He didn’t differentiate between nations
or neighborhoods, religions, races or caste levels
He just said to love
~
You don’t have to go to church to love God
In fact the people outside the church
are the ones Jesus broke bread with and healed
People need to be loved everywhere
In fact I have had trouble finding Him
at the churches where I am greeted by computers
ready for my online giving at the door
And the guest speaker that describes
heaven as a place that is carnal when we wont have need anymore
~
When people have asked me about heaven
beyond the light of love I don’t care I am here for my Creator
I think we will all be reconciled and I don’t need any more
She stands on top of Black ancestors shoulders
taught to read by White women
creating change the only way they knew how
The ones who came before her
paved the way
so as a Black Lesbian
she can hold my White hand
~
Mama was a slave before she was freed
by legislation that can never be complete
Because the hearts of men humanity can never be decreed
Mama taught her to hate no one
because being mulatto means
the founding fathers are skin deep
~
The United States has celebrated 250 years
and she is very proud Army is written not only on her chest
Are we perfect or is the fight over?
Hell no!
But the fact that we are here
Is a gratitude that she needs to speak
~
We don’t agree on politics
because I want to protect her
I see how hard she tries and I hate
how many taxes she pays
But I love her
and we love each other
and we love The United States
~
She’s a republican and a moderate
I have been a republican
a democrat, an independent, and disenfranchised
My gentle soldier solutes her flag
and I pray for us
Both kinds of allegiance speak of heritage
~
What is legacy but traditions and values
passed forth from those who came first
But when will we stop being victims
of the imbalance of power in relationships
meant to sustain the system
When will we stop honoring and treat the traumas
So we will actually all know the same freedoms
~
Favorite customs have been celebrated
but too many secrets have not been told
She loves what she knows
I want the light to be let in
I want the oligarchs to pay
the same percentage she owes
Instead of us closing our eyes at their rape and their uneven scales
now that would make America great
You were supposed to love me
and you failed
I told you and you didn’t care
If you have been thinking
I am coming back
I am not
~
Let me go
~
You had many chances
I gave you so many
more than I allotted to everyone else
I didn’t even blame you
when it was your fault
For years I let you slide
~
Let me go
~
It doesn’t matter if I love you
If you love me
it’s not enough Your love is not enough
It costs me what money can’t buy
How do you weigh equity on peace
~
Let me go
~
I’m not coming back
You made your choice
and I am not it
I have my own wife now
I understand
and I can’t abide what you did to your first
~
Let me go
~
That bitch of yours wants to judge me
it doesn’t matter which one
I am referring to
They are cut from the same cloth
They both have daggers
They both have destroyed their own
~
Let me go
~
You have made quite the mess
Your selfishness has paid you in kind
I used to think you were Superman
But I know you are like a lot of men
That small head of yours
is braver than you are
~
Let me go
~
I am writing this for every woman
who has been betrayed
by the man who was
supposed to love her first
I am your first born
But you left me first
~
Let me go
~
The fact that I still feel your household
reaching out to me
My spirit feels tired of the pull
How long will you allow them to hate me
The letter I wrote said I want nothing
They can literally have everything but me
Have you ever looked at your reflection and thought
This is not me
or wow I have been through something
Have you watched yourself change
and not known what to do
Have you rejoiced in your return
Have you seen yourself in a gallery
and recognized all the different parts of you
Have you rebuked the evil Repented
and invoked the reverent power inside of you at will
Said hello to the part of you that is always soft but strong
You have the power of life and death in your tongue
Have you seen it
The only person you have the right to command
is yourself
But do you revere the one in the mirror
or do you write laws for others
I know you think we should all abide by the same rules
but it just isn’t that easy
My mind lies to me
and I have to live with it
If your mind tells you
you are a girl
when you have the parts of a boy
Whatever you have to do find peace
sounds like survival to me
But you might need to respect
the survivors around you too
We all have our own scars
I can’t carry yours
That’s why they are yours
I have been really careful about where I have put my energy this week. I feel there is a change in the air. It has been coming upon me for a while now. A teacher I listen to is saying that there is an upgrade; the planets and stars are aligned in a way that hasn’t happened in something like 125 years and the systems that live off our life forces are working overtime but this is a time for upgrade. Not a time to go back to what we used to know. I feel that. I am on day 4 of a parasite cleanse. I have been trying to sleep more. I have even gleaned clothes and shoes I don’t need, to give away. Today I’m tired.
I started following Amy E. Sousa on Facebook from my article yesterday, The Audacity. I think I have figured out what I was attracted to. She is familiar. She is afraid. She is a victim. She is intelligent. She gains power from all of these attributes. I asked a question of her on one of her videos — she has a lot. I gave some background information. She has not responded but her followers have.
I was not argumentative. I told her I agreed, that I understand why she believes we need to fight for neutral or family restrooms for the use of families and transgender people, for the safety of women and the use of families. But I also told her that I had known of a small bio-male child that announced they were a girl when they were very young and they were not supported. The child has still grown to be a non-binary person. I have met many other humans that, even though I don’t fully understand their situation, I see they are much happier after they have transitioned, and I don’t see how it hurts me to call them what they want. I even let her know that I am an empath and I can feel the feminine on a person with male characteristics and visa-versa. I even quoted scripture (Galatians 3:28) that says there is no nationality or gender, we are all one in Christ. I have been laughed at by several people. One woman said I was looking down on her. That was never my intention. I am just comfortable in my belief.
I have not unfollowed Ms. Sousa yet. I feel conviction to listen. At least for a while. Because even though I do dream of a world where I don’t have to resist. I love this video by Whitney Alese because civil rights are not just for Queer folks or Women or Black people or Disabled humans and I belong to all these groups, but all people. I hope this video is still here:
I also found myself enjoying this video by Rainbow Girls. I have paraphrased the words because it made a really profound statement to me, since I have walked with Jesus for 45 years and I can’t imagine Jesus this way at all. The video was available at the time I posted this article and I posted it below the words:
Which poor people would Jesus kill or starve? Would He be neutral about genocide?
CHORUS: Who would Jesus bomb? Tell me who would Jesus bomb? Would it be kids in Palestine or how ’bout Vietnam? Would Jesus bomb the Atheists, the Muslims, or the Jews? I want you to ask yourself, well what would Jesus do?
Would He find situations “complicated”? If He was sleeping on a sidewalk would you help Him, or would you just watch where you stepped?
Would Jesus bomb LGBTIA+ people? Would He suggest they kill themselves? Would He tell homeless man to get a job or turn His back on the poor or look down on anyone?
How would Jesus vote? If He ran for office what type of government would He choose? Would he lead a megachurch? Would He build a border wall or use tools meant for war? Would he run a bank? Would He feel free in His skin when you found out He is brown?
We live in a world that forces us to always choose. I wish we lived in a world that just allowed us to be. I used to live in a world where I could choose to stay quiet and say I hated politics but after I got married, which was the about the same time that I became disabled, I had to become aware. Before then I was just a fat, white woman from a middle class family. Yes, I was the scapegoat for the shenanigans of my family, but if I followed the rules, I was essentially kept. But disability is not something that can be handled well or hidden. And I was not going to hide my wife. The fact that I had one was an abomination, but that she was black…
I had already decided that I loved people. I was learning how to love the inconvenient ones. It was on purpose. Because Jesus loves us all, on purpose.
I wish I could just say I hate politics and close my eyes. I wish I could pick a side and hate the other, but if I am honest, and I am brutally honest, there are failures on both sides. But there are successes on both sides.
John Kerry was on The Tonight Show recently. I had forgotten about him. It had been years since I had seen him. As I listened to him talk, I remembered that I had liked him, when I was in college. I voted for him. He didn’t win, but I know why I liked him. I like him for the same reason I like Pete Buttigieg. It isn’t because they are democrats. It is because there is something about them that reminds me of Grandpa Bill. Grandpa was a staunch republican. But he was also a gentleman that understood boundaries, the power of silence, and to take a breath and think before he spoke. All of these men serve. They don’t give beyond their boundaries. They know when to be quiet. They also always take a breath before they answer to consider what is right to say…and they also know how to use humor when necessary. My wife, Karen G Clemenson, is a republican and she also is working on learning all these habits.
If I could find a political party that stood firmly on equal civil rights for all people and a balanced budget, I would vote for that party. The republicans used to believe in a balanced budget, but nationally, we are so far away from a balanced budget; I have written about how the Trump Administration is lining their pockets in Oversite Can Mean Supervision or An Unintentional Mistake, I have also written about how the treasury has declared the United States insolvent in Regarding H.Con.Res.15, and I wrote about how 12 days before Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill was brought before Congress, there was another bill that would have forced Congress to be fiscally responsible and have a balanced budget, in Regarding H.B. 3289. The MAGA’s in Cowlitz County have tons to say about our local government but Trump can do no wrong.
But I have listened to our republican representatives for Washington State. I have heard Jim Walsh make jokes about LBGTQI+ people. But it seems that his running mate Joel McEntire has made it quite the game online. Joel and I used to be friends on Facebook but he has unfriended me, however, I found some interesting posts he made online and I wanted to share them with you. If I was a woman…OH! I am…I would advise you to find someone else to represent you.
Click on any of these images to make them larger. Click on the arrow to the right of the screen to scroll through them. Click anywhere on the screen to make them smaller again.
If you are interested in researching someone else to represent you in Olympia, I have the name of a good guy. In fact Terry Carlson is it. I have met both he and his wife and they are lovely people and they appreciate and support all people in the state of Washington. He is running against Joel McEntire. I don’t know anything about Mike Coverdale but I will be watching him. He is running against Jim Walsh.
I hope I didn’t lose you while I processed a lot today, but I believe it was all connected. Because I love people. People are important and who we support, and why support them is important. Who we give our energy to, says a lot about us, whether we are aware of it or not. When you are done with your day, are you inspired or drained? Did you give too much? Does that happen after you have seen certain people? Have you watched too much TV or read too much news? Take care of yourself. Learn to say no. Learn to stick up for yourself and the people you love.
I dream of a world where everyone feels loved. I love you. Be blessed.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
On Monday April 20, 2026 I was scrolling on Facebook and a video caught my attention. The video was by Amy E. Sousa, MA Depth Psychology. Ms. Sousa is an embodiment educator, writer, lecturer. and boundaries coach. Her website is at knownheretic.com. I was compelled to watch her video several times, even though I did not agree with her. Eventually I emailed it to myself to return to it with fresh eyes. Today was the day.
I watched her video again, many times, because although I do not agree with her, I don’t know if it the hot, angry librarian look that intrigued me or her absolute sureness of self that makes me want to question whether or not I want to give my time to her.
Ms. Sousa uses words that lead me to believe that she believes that transwomen are men. We do not agree on this viewpoint. I just want to state this right out of the starting point.
Sousa feels it is safe for transwomen to use the men’s restroom. She thinks that if transwomen feel unsafe using the men’s bathroom, she suggests they argue this with men to create more safety in the men’s facilities. She also considers it being a good idea to work with men to create expansion on the definition of what is masculine.
Sousa feels strongly that it is not women and girl’s responsibility to help anyone feel safe from men. Men are not a marginalized group. Generally, this can be a true statement, however, I have met men that can disagree with her statement. Some men, even cis men, can be marginalized. Although Sousa, tends to be more direct than I am drawn to, that too might be what I am drawn to. She is very sure of herself and that could be for many very good reasons. Everyone has their reasons. We need to listen to people; I believe the fact that we don’t, is part of the problems we have as a society. Even though, I don’t agree, her bravado and precise speech tell me her advocacy is important to her. As much as I want equal rights for everyone, I have been frustrated by a young person who was angered by me, because they did not tell me their pronouns, and I got it wrong.
One argument that Sousa made, that I am starting to believe, might be a good one is to fight for legislation for gender neutral restrooms or facilities for gender expansive people. My reasoning for this, is not because I have a problem with anyone in the bathroom, but some people do and some for very good reason. Also if there were more “family” bathrooms then fathers with girls would have an easier time when they need to help their small children in the restroom and young ladies who are not prepared for the start of their cycles would hopefully find the supplies they need until they get home. More “family” restrooms would serve many types of people.
“When some men use their identity labels as a reason for why men deserve access to women and girls’ spaces it normalizes and desensitizes increasing boundary violations against women and girls. It degrades the existing boundaries that women and girls fought long and hard for.” Sousa
I am wondering if there are abuse victims that need transgender females to fight for their own bathrooms through legislation or at least talk to business owners to make gender neutral accommodations where possible.
I did not write this article to attack Amy E. Sousa. Until I saw her viewpoint, I could only see what I believed. I appreciate that she could help me see another side. As a transgender person might argue, they have been an abuse victim, so women should understand why they would not want to use the men’s restroom; what Sousa might be saying is that the transwoman should have compassion on the woman that is a sex abuse survivor and should not have to share the restroom with someone who has traits of a man, even if they would prefer not to.
This article is not meant to be anti-trans or anti-man or anti-woman. This article is meant to share perspectives. I would love to engage in healthy and caring conversation on this if you would like to share your opinion, please do.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
There is more than one frequency
that I pick up on
Not just what the world demands
and my sick body requires
but what my Spirit sings to me Words most of us don’t want to hear
~
I am very aware of what I need
I have walked on this earth
I am well read
You did not show up for me
when I needed you God has always taught me well
He wants me to forgive you
~
My capacity to love is vast
My ability to forgive is impressive
The art of teaching you is another story
Because you know what you know
You don’t want to know more
You think you know everything
so you don’t listen
~
To be so sure of everything is decadent
I don’t know anyone that rich
Even my own body betrays me
I should be so much more without
If I accepted the lies it tells me
But instead I embrace all the joy I can find
I will get to the todo list in time
~
I am the Beloved
but I am only that to Him
In this world
I am many other things
They are heavy and hard to carry
I can’t accept more burdens from you
I wont carry what you have for me
~
My pack is full
of things you are afraid to talk about Racism, Queerphobia and Chronic Illness are all part of my life
I can’t afford to hate them
when we share the same mirror
Otherwise what is the point of hope?
What I think is important too
~
If I choose to forgive you
even if you don’t apologize
how many rooms will I have shut off from you
inside myself
because you refuse to see me?
I know you have your own burdens
you have told me about them all my life
I don’t need you to tell me how to carry mine
I was a hypocrite once
I was so well trained that I didn’t know who I was
I didn’t have words or experience or reason to think in
any other way until I did
And so I said things like
I can understand gay people
but bisexual doesn’t make sense
You have to choose
What is wrong with transgender people? God doesn’t make mistakes
~
For years I was confused
I went to a Christian therapist and tried to pray it away
Blame it on Karen
Both my therapist and I prayed for Karen
I couldn’t be queer
I had loved Monte
But when I asked God for a partner there was Karen
My therapist’s ministry could not be connected to me
after I married Karen but I understand why
I knew the lingo
~
When I began to search I found that sex is more than genitalia
It’s more than DNA
It’s how you think
How you speak
How you move
How you express who you are
I was right that God doesn’t make mistakes
But sometimes humans
can’t see something hidden more than skin deep
~
No one would choose to be queer or transgender
But we should not have to fight to exist
Laws should not be made
so that we can’t use the bathroom
or marry who we love
Laws should not have to be made
to make sure we can get
housing or a job
We don’t deserve to be hated
just because we aren’t lying about who we are
~
So many people lie about who they are
They cheat on their partners and themselves
They say they love God
but they are not generous or kind
They tell people how they should live
while they hide who they really are
While they hate themselves and think small
While they hurt people and
say one thing in public
and a very different thing in private
~
I think we should all
be free to love ourselves Tobe honest
To find beauty in all kinds of people
Because God made us all
and God understands that it is really hard
for some of us to live on this earth
And the choices I make are
for He and I to talk about
And He will talk to you about yours
~
And since God is not a man
outside of Jesus
but God is Jesus and Spirit
God is a They
so They understand more
than we give Them credit for
I am a concerned voter. Not a democrat. Not a republican. But I am very unhappy with the tax issues that democrats have created and I am very unhappy with our current governor. I have written to the Washington State House Republicans because by voting for the Millionaires Tax, regardless of 100,000 voters telling them not to, obviously the democrats are not hearing the people.
Honestly I voted completely democrat for the first time in my life when Trump ran. Not because he ran as a republican because I don’t believe he is a republican. But I believe he ran as whatever party would have him and I believe he is a monster. I was afraid of Project 2025 and I was afraid of everything that is happening right now at the hands of our federal government. I did not want our state government to support him.
This was not a good choice but I also did not believe that I was presented with acceptable choices by republicans. I want to tell you why. Queer and transgender people are humans first. They do not deserve to be othered. I am queer. I am not transgender but I know and care for people who are transgender and I see what other states are doing to remove the civil rights of these fellow humans. I have also heard my own republican representative use negative innuendos in reference to transgender people in his speeches which will keep me from voting for him because I believe civil rights are more important that taxes because fellow humans are more important than money. Too many United States military members have died for the freedom of us all to not remember that people are more valuable than dollars.
I am writing to you because I care about our state and I care about our people. All of our people. I want to share with you that I see a mistake you are making. By legislating humanity for consenting adults, by allowing representation to make comments that deny the rights of fellow humans to express themselves and seek medical care and treatment that should be private, between them and their medical team, denying their right to name themselves, which is available to everyone, not just transgender humans, it is no different than making derogatory remarks about people with black or brown or yellow skin. We are all born the way we are born. No one would choose to be different.
I do know that many people are afraid of what they think are issues related to this matter but I know that when leaders are fair and present, the rest can be seen honestly. The point of governance is to serve We The People; all the people. Please do not disregard my message.
Things have changed me over the last 12 years. I got married to someone the loves me for exactly who I am. I don’t have to act or be anything other than who I am. When I am at my worst Karen G Clemenson tells me I am beautiful, sexy, smart and she loves me. When I have nothing for her, I can tell her that and she will give me space because that is what I need. She knows I love her and when I have dealt with me or taken a nap, I will be there for her and until then, there is food in the fridge, clean clothes to wear and interesting books to read and her favorite app on her phone.
I have worked hard to learn to live with and accommodate chronic physical and mental illness. These things don’t go away but they can be managed and I do it well.
I have removed people and things from my life that do not serve me well. I have learned to say no and to create boundaries.
I have come to peace with my sexuality. God made me this way and He has never stopped loving me. I am also comfortable with my sex. These were two things that for several reasons were hard for me growing up. But God has never left my side.
I have overcome suicidal ideation. At most it is a fleeting thought and when it comes, I know to stop and take better care of myself.
I have also overcome endometrial cancer. Now at one point on a specific day I had at least 4 medical professional’s hands in my lady parts at one time. That was just one moment of the day. Throughout the three years I fought this cancer, I have had more people in my lady parts than I ever gave the two people I loved enough to choose to be with in my 50 years of life. This has made me much braver than most of the other hard things I have had to do in my life.
I reached 50 years old. Now I don’t really care about age. I don’t give it a lot of thought. Some topics, I still converge upon as a child. My age doesn’t really reflect to me in reality until I want to move and then reality becomes apparent because I really do have two kinds of arthritis and fibromyalgia, but in my head age is fluid. But I do think I have earned enough life experience that even if, I didn’t already believe that other people’s opinion of me is none of my business, what I think matters.
Yet, what I love about myself is that what I believe about most things can be fluid because I am a human and I don’t know everything and sometimes I hear, read or see incorrectly and I know it.
I appreciate your beliefs and I appreciate the time and effort you put into explaining why you believe what you do.
I believe there is room for all beliefs.
I am a Jesus Follower because when I was 5 years old, I was playing by myself under the apple trees in my backyard and suddenly, I knew I was with Jesus and I never been alone since. I have been able to rely on my relationship with Jesus when I didn’t know how to do things, when I didn’t have answers, when I was hurting and when I could not trust anyone. I can’t prove this to you and I am not trying to. In my 20’s I got angry and told God to F-CK off. That was the loneliness, and most scary week of my life and it ended with me on my face asking Him to forgive me because I don’t know how to function without His relationship.
I don’t believe God wastes His time testing me. He doesn’t have to when He knows where I am. He knows I am willing to listen to Him. He is my Dad and my Friend. We have the same goal. Yes, He prunes and He teaches and He corrects, as His word says, but I think testing is the world’s job.
I am not a traditional person or a person that cares about rituals. Religion is not something that interests me but I love people because I believe we are all created in the image of God and it is His breath in our lungs.
Suffering is part of life. God did not promise a life free of suffering. Jesus’ 40 day fast was not easy. He spent most of his ministry, homeless. He was beaten with fists and whips before he was crucified; his death was brutal. What God did promise was that He would bring us through trials. He would empower us to love each other and help each other.
There can’t be evidence of God if we are to rely on faith. As we walk with God we learn to rely on faith and empathy. We learn this by learning from what Jesus taught us and the relationship we can grow in our meditation with the Holy Spirit, which was left with us when Jesus left the earth to go to God.
Hell is an interesting topic. Honestly, I believe hell is right here when we choose to make choices that hurt ourselves and others; the natural consequences of not loving. This was not taught to me at all church, but in my own studies of the bible. I might be wrong, but God is very practical. The laws in the bible were meant to help humans to have healthy lives, and show people that lived in dry, sandy and hot places, where they wore togas and sandals and had poor sanitation and bad manners, how to be clean and mindful of each other so that everyone was well. Those same rules were meant to prove that rules cause sin because humans are rebellious by nature and need a Savior. God was setting the stage for Jesus.
This same God, wants to be chosen so He gave us the right to choose. You don’t have to choose Him. I am not asking you to choose Him. But I do love Him and I am grateful that He chose me and I got to choose Him back.
I believe God made science. He is very creative. God’s version of time is very different than ours because He never gets tired since He is Spirit and doesn’t have a body. A day to God is thousands of years, which is why, even though the bible says the earth was created in 6 days, scientists have proven it took thousands of years of evolution for the earth to even be safe for humans to be here. I could think on that for a long time. It’s pretty amazing.
I am very thankful for the people that inspired these thoughts!
I want to close with this thought. I want you to have an amazing day. I want the sun to shine on you. I want you to feel love today and I want you to know safety. Regardless of what happens outside our community, I want Kelso-Longview to be a place where joy is because I live here. I can get get a little hot under the collar but at the end of the day, I do believe we are all made in the image of God and it is His breath in our lungs. And I want that to be the impression I leave. I get passionate because I love people and I want all people to loved and cared for and sometimes we fail, but I really hope you have a great day!
~
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
This week I got a note from a random messenger that saw one of my posts. I didn’t edit their message. This is what they said:
Hi you stated that you are a Christian but you are not christ like as you are gay and you are sinning. You are also have a problem with our president who is way better than the other which is a devil.
At first I was a little miffed. Who likes to be judged, especially by a stranger? I have never met this person. But as I began responding, I was also thinking…
How do you know? Have you done your own research with more than one book or are you relying on what other people have told you? How long have you walked with God? Does He talk to you? Has He verbally told you what you are saying is true? Our president is just a man, just like all the rest before him. He is not perfect. Have you read in the bible what a good leader is supposed to look like, because Trump is not that. (Exodus 18:21, John 13:13-17, 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:7-14)
Also, when did I state that I am a Christian? I don’t use that word. I think that word has been morphed into something very sad. I am a Jesus Follower. It’s a very different thing. Jesus never said anything about sexuality but He said very specific things about adultery, selfishness, taking care of the poor, compassion… (Matthew 5:2-12, Matthew 5:27-28, Matthew 19:21, Matthew 23:25, John 15:13)
Another thing, who told you I am gay?
You might think I am angry with you but I’m not. I’m angry but not even at you. I’m angry at the system that taught us to judge each other and to think small. I used to think like you. I was raised in a conservative family and church. I was taught that homosexuality was an abomination. I didn’t know to ask questions. I never even met a queer person until I was 18 years old.
I had to meet several queer people to realize that each one was an individual with their own personality and dreams. I had to learn who I was to learn that it is not my job to tell other people how to live. Even the bible says, ‘judge not, lest ye be judged.’ (Matthew 7:1)
I know you are ignorant. The letters LGBTQIA+ all mean something special. I am old enough that I prefer the term queer, which is a blanket term for everyone. I’m not a Lesbian (women that only love women). I’m not Gay (men that only love men). I’m Bisexual (I have loved 2 men but I married my wife). I’m not Transgender. I’m Queer. I’m not Intersex (a person born with genetic markers or genitalia for both male and female sex). I am not technically A-sexual, however I am Demisexual which falls in that category. They added a + for any other groups people want to be in…
The far right republicans and conservative christians have spent years creating a platform to control people. Telling people that the media is fake and science is wrong and all kinds of propaganda. You probably can’t hear me, but I said it anyway. I don’t hate republicans. My wife is a republican. I don’t hate christians. Most of the people I know believe in some version of this faith. I myself, am a Jesus Follower.
But the word homosexual was not in the bible until February 11, 1946. You can research all of what I am saying. It is not hard to find. This translation was created to convince people to hate queer people who had quietly lived among us forever. There was no word for this kind of relationship in the bible because marriage was mainly a way to create children and provide inheritance; it was a business agreement. If you got lucky, you learned to love each other. People did not marry for love.
I did not realize I was queer until I was almost 40. But I have lived through a lot of trauma and have been in therapy for years. The reason I am bothering with you is that, I know people who knew they were queer all their life. They were abused terribly and have many scars. I don’t have scars about my sexuality. So I feel comfortable expressing things that someone of my queer community might not be able to communicate clearly.
I have read the bible through and through many times. I talk to God everyday. I have walked with Him for 45 years. I have read lots of books and watched documentaries. I don’t believe that loving my wife is a sin. I believe God created her for me. We have found so much healing with each other and so much peace and growth that no one else was ever able to create. God guides us and helps us together. Our marriage is just like any other marriage that relies on God to inspire.
I really don’t care if you don’t believe me, but I do want to impress on you that there are people who have hurts because people judged them merely on who they loved; not on their character or deeds or aspirations and it is not right. Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourself and He did not differentiate. I hope to inspire you to share the same kind of love the He gave to you. (Mark 12:30-31)
Even with the woman that was caught in adultery, He did not judge her. When all the men were ready to stone her, He advised that the man that was free of sin should cast the first stone. After they all left, He sent her on her way. (John 8:1-11)
We are not here to judge each other. We are here to learn how to love each other and to learn how to be loved.
This person never responded to me. I find this confusing because they cared enough to accuse me but they didn’t care enough to say anything to what I had to say. I don’t believe I was rude or even mean. I was sharing information I have collected over the years while I was learning who I was and meeting great people. But I think I can understand because the conservative right doesn’t teach us to question or study. They want us to stay ignorant so we are easily led. I am afraid this person expected me to either ignore them or respond with verbal violence, but that is not where growth is. That is not who I am.
In the end we can only grow through education. My hope is that this person learned something.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Recently I ran into a post online that asked whether people were more offended by homosexuality or pedophilia. I had my own ideas on this and I answered with what I knew at the time, but I felt like this topic deserved a little time to research. If you are interested, I hope you learn something from what I found.
I was raised being told homosexuality was an abomination to God, it was taught that way in my church. I don’t remember my parents saying much about it. But they tried to never talk about sex at all so that doesn’t seem off to me. My school teachers taught me about sex. They also taught me what to do if I was trapped by a kidnapper or abuser. Later, I learned about sex, health and rape from friends who had experienced situations I had not. I had begun working in childcare at 15 and was taking child development classes and reading books for these classes and also books that my friends were reading to help them heal.
When I was a young adult, I finally met a queer person. Then I met a few more. Although I was nervous of them, they didn’t seem to be very different than any other person I had ever known.
One night I was up late, ironing clothes, and there was a show on about a gay pastor. He was married and he and his husband had adopted 2 children. They were just like any other family I had ever known. They loved God, their community, and each other. It was beautiful and honest. I suddenly knew you could be gay and love God and God would love you back.
Years later, I realized I was queer. God did not leave me. He encouraged me. As I studied more, I learned that the word homosexual was not even in the bible until February 11,1946. Before that, sexual sin was rape between adults and children or in a situation where men were in a submissive position because the culture in the time the bible was written, would not allow for a man to be submissive.
Pedophilia (persistent sexual interest in children) is a paraphilia. Homosexuality is sexual interest in the same sex. Although in the people studied, in the article I read, there were similarities found between homosexuals and pedophiles, there were no similarities that were a causation. It is found that age and gender are a sexual interest (pedophilia) characteristic and affection an orientation definition. People who are willing to accept that they have an unacceptable sexual interest may be able to go through therapy to change their sexual interest from children to adults since genetics, sex drive, gender and orientation are not seen as part of their issue.
The terms have been confused or misused among professionals on many platforms. We know the definition of pedophilia and child molestation but hebephiliais sometimes used to describe adult sexual attractions to adolescents or children who have reached puberty. So where pedophilia and hebephilia describe a preference, child sexual abuse is used to describe actual. The legal age of consent in the state of Washington is 16, if you are interested.
Also many people want to refer to abusers as homosexual or heterosexual child molesters, this may not be the case. Many abusers are stuck in a state of fixation. Fixationmeans “a temporary or permanent arrestment of psychological maturation resulting from unresolved formative issues which persist and underlie the organization of subsequent phases of development.” In order for these abusers to be assigned an orientation, they would have to have an attraction to adult partners, but child abusers that are fixated on children, alone, are stuck in an early stage of development. These people require a more focused type of therapy.
I think people make a bigger deal out of homosexuality or queerness because it has been taught loudly. Gender norms have been shoved down our throats everywhere, especially the church. We have been taught that if a man wears a dress, he is a pervert, but men wore dresses and had long hair in the bible. In society we have been taught that being compassionate or sensitive is only for women, so our men are lonely. We have taught men that it a woman’s responsibility to make sure that men are not attracted to her. We don’t punish pedophiles and rapists like we do for crimes that are much less violent, violating and life altering.
In Washington State child molestation is a class A felony that is punishable by a maximum sentence of life in prison, and/or a fine of $50,000 when it can be proven that sexual contact has occurred between a victim under the age of 12 and an offender at least three years older than the victim. This sounds just and right, but I know a level 3 sex offender that did not serve a life sentence and they were a repeat offender in Washington State. So there are ways around these laws and people use them. RCW 9A.44.083.
In our society we have taken man’s natural need for emotional support and intimacy, that is not sexual, away from him and not made him accountable for his own actions. Most pedophiles are male. And most laws regarding child sex abuse and rape are made to protect the suspect, not the victim. Rape victims are often not believed. They often have to relive their abuse over and over and they have trouble proving what happened to them. It is part of the patriarchy we live in and continue to support.
Even many gay men choose to stay in the closet instead of being honest because society says it is better to be a pedophile than queer. I also know men that have been raped and chose to do nothing because of their fear of what other’s would do. This is why I think homosexuality bothers some people more than pedophilia.
For a long time homosexuality was seen as a mental health issue, but over time it has become proven to be part of our design as a human. Sexual orientation is defined as “attraction to members of the same sex, both sexes, or the other sex… behavior, attraction, identity and arousal…tend to go together, but not always. There is no evidence to suggest that individuals can consciously alter their genital arousal to fit a certain identity label.”
Pedophiles and sex abusers “intentionally and methodically seek out vulnerable children.” Sexual abuse is an act of power and control, not a reflection of sexual orientation. All victims, but especially LGBTQ victims, may internalize societal stigma or feel their sexual orientation is “caused” by abuse but studies show no direct causality between abuse and sexual orientation.
Jesus loves children and the bible has many verses that supports this (Deuteronomy 6:7, Psalm 127:3, Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 31:6, Isaiah 54:13, Mark 10:14, Matthew 18:10, Luke 18:16, 1 Corinthians 13:11, Ephesians 6:4, 2 Timothy 3:15, Colossians 3:21, James 1:27). The bible doesn’t specifically have words about child molestation and I am happy to let Jesus have the last words on this:
“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I hate the hatred God
How can they hate
someone they have never met
How can someone say they love You
but hate Your creation
The confusion makes me so tired
I hold onto You with white knuckles
~
It scares me so much
to look at my neighbors
and wonder if they hate me
because I have a wife
because I call her
my gingerbread cookie
or both
What if we adopt a child and
they’re born in the wrong body
I’ll have two parts of my heart
to be afraid for
~
I want to love my enemies
I pray for them like You told me
I fell like prey
I feel like it is a matter of time
before the ships surround me
My only strength is in You
so I will keep listening for You
even though my arms are so tired
~
PS: My 3 year old great-nephew took this picture with my phone. He is amazing!
I’ve listened to a speech by Charlie Kirk where he stated that a spiritual battle is coming to the west. I don’t disagree. But I do disagree with some of what he said: The Muslim religion came from Abraham just like Christianity and Judaism. So why would it be wrong to allow people time to stop and recognize their call to pray? It would be a perfect time for other religions to pray too or get a quick nap in, time to meditate, or take a walk. So that is one error in this man’s speech.
Plus although Christianity has been shaped and formed by governments and institutions, so that it is no longer presented in the original texts, it was not ever the foundation of the United States because our founding fathers were fleeing the persecution of England and the Church of England and wanted religious freedom. Just because people keep saying that the United States was founded on Christian principles doesn’t make it true. Try cracking open a history book.
Kirk was also dead set against queer folks. Sexual orientation has been proven to be a natural state of humanity. We don’t choose our orientation. This is fortified by the fact that the word homosexual was not in the bible until 1947 when one word was misinterpreted in order to control and suppress queer people. The word they were referring to was a word that meant rape or abuse. When people love each other, their intimacy is not either of those things. There was no words for homosexuality in the days the bible was written because people didn’t know what that was because culturally that wasn’t recognized because marriage was a legal transaction in order to create children and maintain inheritance contracts; love was not always factored in. I cannot support Kirk’s viewpoint here either, regardless of my own orientation.
Kirk, held a very conservative way of viewing the American way of life. He said things that I can’t support and, in my opinion, if you are a woman, a free thinker, a person of color, someone that follows a religion other than Christianity, or no religion at all, if you weren’t born here or you even know family members that were not born here, if you are queer, a democrat or you don’t like guns, you might not appreciate all that Kirk had to say. The American way of life is different, depending on which household you are standing in and can be bought best by fair tax laws, where the rich are taxed, just like the rest of us, so that we have a strong middle class and less homelessness. When we have a government that invests in our people through education, healthcare, good jobs that offer ways to grow and pay all your bills, infrastructure and a fair legal system that prosecutes fairly, even law makers and politicians that break the law, in order to maintain our Constitution.
Kirk was offended by education that taught about the general population, which included all kinds of people. My argument to that is if you don’t want your children to learn about general principles of life like how families might be different from each other, send them to private school or home school them.
Jesus came to teach us to love. Jesus did not come to give us a way to throw people down. He had a word for the Pharisees that that had made the law bigger than the people: hypocrite. That is what many in the church have become. Jesus came to show us humility, service, love, peace, honor, grace, mercy. There is none of that in this man’s words
I do not believe that Kirk deserved to die for his beliefs. I am scared and sad for the person that brought him to his death. I have no right to decide what kind of relationship Kirk had with Jesus and I am not judging that. But I do believe that his messages was much smaller than the relationship I have with my Savior. I am sorry that his words brought someone to the idea and to the actions that it did.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
It’s ok if Snoop doesn’t like me. Love is the choice.
I have worked hard to like myself. People have always been kind to me when I am around them, but when the chips are down, there are only a few that are actually by my side when I need them. It used to bother me, but I am ok with it now. I know I am intense. I know I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I am satisfied with my crew and myself. I don’t need to impress anyone. I have worked hard to believe this statement.
Even people groups that I belong to have haters and I have to step back and consider what I think about that. Snoop was someone I considered for some time. I don’t like his music, but I love his belief in family and the way he has marketed himself. Yet, now he has made a comment, that I consider very small, about my Queer Family. If you don’t want to go into detail about how Queer families might have children when your grandchildren ask you, you can be vague. It isn’t your job to answer the birds and the bees questions anyway. The thing is, I don’t think any different about Snoop than I ever did. I think he seems like a nice guy. He has worked hard to market himself and create financial stability for his family. I think that is admirable.
What we have to stop doing is judging each other. If I judge you because you judged me, we end up all alone. You don’t have to understand choices people make or how people live to choose to love them. I didn’t choose to be demisexual and bisexual. This was super confusing for me growing up. I thought I was broken. All my friends were attracted to people all the time and I rarely was and when I did feel that way, it was suddenly towards a close friend. It was weird, until I learned the word demisexual, when I was about 40 years old (I am a late bloomer). So even though our sexual orientation may not be a choice, our choice to love people who we don’t understand is.
I choose to love people, even if they don’t love me. That doesn’t mean I give them a lot of my time. I’m not a member of the Snoop Fan Club, but I want to give words to a situation where my Queer Family might be feeling feelings. I want to give perspective. Only love can overcome hate.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Although I can hear the love you are trying to convey in your message, I still feel sadness when I read your words. I have been walking with Jesus since I was 5 years old, and He came to me in my back yard when I was playing alone, under my apple trees. He found me when I was alone and then I was never alone. He came before my family fell apart and He has seen me through many traumas. It has been 44 years since that day.
He is smiling at me now.
I didn’t understand myself growing up. I was different. I didn’t have many crushes growing up and I didn’t get googly eyed like my friends did. I thought I was broken. I also thought both men and women were beautiful. But I was raised by my nana, who told me never to waste my affections on someone I wouldn’t marry, while teaching me to be a lady, so I just focused on what was in front of me. I met my wife at work. We were friends for 10 years. She actually helped me through a terrible break up with someone I had also been friends with for 10 years. When I got sick, really sick, she was the one that helped me get well. Although I was aware of feelings, I thought they were just coming from her, until they were not only coming from her. We got married 11 days later.
It took me a year of therapy (I have been in therapy most of my life) to be able to say I was bisexual and later to learn the word demisexual. The first year of our marriage was beautiful and God was with me. I just told people I had married my best friend. That was true. But it was also true that I had not chosen to be bisexual and demisexual. I was created that way. I was also created to be more than that and I was confused, but God wasn’t. When I asked Him if I should divorce my wife, He said, “No.” He also told gave me the following scripture:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
I believe that sex and gender are human issues. They are something we only deal with on earth, because in the new world we will have heavenly bodies and will not be given away in marriage. I believe that God knows our hearts and He is bigger than a book with words in it that has been edited by humans. Did you know that the word homosexual was not added to the bible until 1947? It was added by humans that wanted to control other humans. The term they were trying to describe was abusers. Consenting people that are committed to each other and love each other are not abusing each other.
My wife and I have been married 11 years. That is longer than both our parents were.
What makes me the most sad about churches that are not affirming, is that they claim to be the body of Christ, yet they create these areas that are ok to judge people and set them aside. I know that I can come to your church, and I will probably be treated kindly by most, feared by some, ignored by the ones that don’t know what to do with people like me and wife. But some day you are going to preach something from your pulpit about how my marriage is an abomination to God and if I brought one of my Queer Family members to visit that day, they might not have made the same peace with the incorrect doctrine, as I have, because Jesus is the Living Word of the bible. The one we read has been translated badly. What can I do to change their broken heart?
I appreciate your kind words but I can’t affirm your church.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I left the church when I was 25 by accident, however, it turned into a purposeful walk with the Lord, where I learned amazing things. I had been so distracted in church, it was often hard to hear Him. Later, I had learned that I enjoyed my time with just Jesus, more than corporate religion. My accidental fellowship and my conversations with my believing friends was enough to sustain my need for fellowship, along with my relationship with my Savior. Eventually, I began visiting churches, however, many times, I was disgusted by the lust, pride, and greed that was easy to see at the churches I had visited, so I stayed in my lane.
Now I find myself ready for more fellowship. But in some of my attempts to find a church family, I was uncomfortable at non-affirming churches. Although I know God has never left or forsaken me, and He has ordained me, feeling the fear of others, makes me sad. This week I sent messages to 7 different churches, mostly nondenominational, because I am not a traditional person, and a few I have gone to in the past.
So far, I have heard back from 2 1/2…meaning one said they are definitely not affirming. One said they want to talk to me about it over coffee. And one church was super excited to invite Karen G Clemenson and I to their affirming church; First Christian Church of Longview’s service starts at 11 am, but coffee is served at 10:30.
It is super hot this weekend, so we plan to visit next weekend.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I don’t think I could put in words how much I love, need and want Karen G Clemenson. She is it. As I grew up I had made lists of what I wanted in a partner. I have never taken choosing a partner lightly and I am not casual about sex at all. Karen is one of two people I have ever been with. She even helped me get over the first guy, promising he would come back, until I finally told her, I didn’t want him to come back.
I have loved 3 people in my life and there were about 10 years between each person. I was friends with each person first. My lists always changed as I had my heart was shattered. Because I love completely. I am so grateful that I am demisexual because I don’t have overwhelming sexual feelings that get in my way until I have bonded with someone emotionally, intellectually and have learned if they are worthy of my trust.
When I prayed to God and asked for a partner I was shocked that Karen was the one. I had been fighting my feelings for some time, to be honest. I was raised in a conservative family and conservative religion and being gay was wrong. However, I had also walked with God since I was 5 and I had an authentic relationship with God and there had been many things God had shown me, that I had been taught, that were wrong.
It was still 1 year after we were married, before I could verbalize that I was bisexual and demisexual. But I also knew that God knew that I was queer. He made me this way and He loved me and this very small part of who I am, is part of the calling He has for me. Nothing I have ever done or ever will do, will ever change how much He loves me or that the salvation He created for me is mine. He promised me that. I am supposed to love Him, let Him love me, and love my neighbor. He will fill in all the blanks.
Karen and I have this little joke. She asks me — Who loves you? — I always answer, with a smile on my face: Jesus.
The only competition Karen has is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I do find other people attractive but I don’t want them. We talk about that. Neither of us wants anyone else. And even the most exquisite looking person can open their mouth and say a selfish, judgmental, or hateful thing and suddenly they are no longer interesting to me in any way.
I have had people try to use their religious beliefs to justify their fear that I am going to hell. I am sick of this. It just isn’t true. God created inclusion. The word “homosexuality” wasn’t even added to the bible until 1947 by white people that wanted to control the narrative. I do realize the bible I read, in its imperfection, was inspired by God, but edited by man. This doesn’t stop me from reading it, but I read it with Jesus and I ask questions and wait for answers.
Karen was the best gift God ever gave me. When I could not hide that I was sick anymore, she was there. I had never been taken care of before. I had been the one to serve. I am an artist and chronically ill. I don’t know what my body and mind will be like from day to day; I don’t often know what I will say until I say it. She is never intimidated by me, my body, my mind or my ideas. She loves the challenge and surprises. On earth, she is my rock and I am her’s. I don’t take this for granted.
On the flip side, she eats healthier, dresses better and has more organization in her life than she ever had on her own because once we were married, we both learned, we needed someone to take care of. Her blood pressure is normal, her weight is exactly what her doctor wants it to be and her muscle tone is impressive. Plus she has some pretty great aspirations that she would never have attempted if she didn’t have someone cheering her on. Who else is going to correct her when she says she is crazy and tell her she is just juggling a lot?
We make an amazing team. I thank God for her all the time. I can’t and don’t even want to imagine life without her. We have healed and grown so much in this relationship and I wish that the kind of love, trust, honesty and kindness we share was in all partnerships. If there was, there would probably be little to no divorce and less STIs and unwanted pregnancies too. Because when you have all you want in your relationship, you don’t have to look anywhere else and you make decisions together and you don’t do things to tear down the team.
I am a blessed woman.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I’m thankful because I’m starting to get better at getting my self care routine down every day. Getting hit with the need for radiation for my cancer and DJT as president at the same time, leveled me. I have accepted that radiation is my next step and although I am afraid, I am choosing to be brave.
The hell that our president and the republican congressmen have created or allowed, is, at the very least exhausting. It is hard to watch evidence of hatred, selfishness and power mongering. My pain levels have increased. It is hard to get out of bed. Since I can’t take pain meds, I sleep when I hurt. This is why I don’t have a job. No employer would be able to rely on me. This is why my disability check helps my family every month. Hopefully I will still get one in April and the following months.
My disability check supplies a tiny amount of money that goes into savings, a payment to my doctor bills and three creditors, it pays for our car insurance, our phones, some groceries, our toiletries, our cleaning supplies, it pays for my sister’s cat’s supplies because she needs help with that, it pays for my doTERRA and other supplements that we rely on for our health and our one splurge, Karen’s ESPN app. When all these are paid, my check is gone and Karen G Clemenson pays for everything else, including what my insurance doesn’t cover on my 14 prescriptions. I am blessed to have a wife that can and will work 3 jobs to take care of us.
We never go on holiday. We have never been on a honeymoon. We might get to go to a movie if someone gives us movie passes. We are very boring people and it is good that we like to be at home because we can’t afford to go much of anywhere else. I do my best to make sure there is food in the fridge for when Karen runs in, so she can eat something. I clean and mend her clothes so she always looks presentable. All our clothes are secondhand. We help others where we can and we are helped by loved ones too.
I resent our president. I resent DOGE. The inspectors generals that DJT fired in his first week already did the job that DOGE is supposedly doing without firing tons of United States citizens, closing important programs and cutting off funds that saved lives around the globe. Stress doesn’t make my life better. It makes me sicker. Donald J. Trump is making me sicker. He is allowing children in impoverished countries to starve to death.
There is a video I saw on Facebook of a democratic legislator. I don’t know his name. It was not written anywhere in a caption or on the video but he described that there is food that both democrats and republicans voted to send to Sudan and Ethiopia that was grown in the United States. We paid for it and we sent it to these countries. It is sitting in warehouses in these countries. Current government officials have said we need to make it available, yet DOGE won’t make the funds available to open the warehouse doors. 150,000 people will die without this food. If you want to see the video, there is a link at the bottom of this article. Why is DOGE able to override our government?
I don’t want to live in a dictatorship. I don’t want to live in a country where the president can pick and choose which laws he will follow; where he will dishonor judges, whose job it is to interpret the law. 47 is a man without honor and no regard for law, unless he can bend it to benefit himself. He is a draft dodger and a liar. What will it take for the MAGAs to wake up?
What will it take for everyone to realize the value of every United States citizen and stop trying to politicize everything human? When I was growing up teachers taught me that people were different and that was ok. What was important was that we cared about and respected each other. If we didn’t like someone, we were kind to them, but we found someone else to play with. This philosophy has served me well for my entire life and I wish more people would adopt it.
I’m a sensory person, certain sounds and lights and feelings hurt me. I have learned to be patient with myself but high voices make me feel crazy. Some sopranos hurt my ears and sometimes make my skin crawl. But I am not asking for legislation to outlaw sopranos. I see videos of legislators making arguments about public schools, without proving that the problems originate from the school system. I see a lot of statements but I never hear any questions or answers to my questions when I want clarification. Men want to regulate what women do with their bodies and straight people want to regulate what transgender people do with theirs; but I believe that if you are not part of the group, you don’t have a right to define it.
Just because you don’t understand transgender or queer people doesn’t make them bad. They are humans, trying to live their life and be happy. If you don’t know them, how do you know if you don’t like them? Because someone told you they were bad? What if those people were wrong or misinformed? Why would you let your fear run your life? That would be like me letting cancer take over my body because I am afraid of radiation. It doesn’t make sense.
Removing women and people of color from history on military websites and maps at Arlington Cemetery is pathetic. Removing flags that represent Native tribes from Veterans Services buildings is a slap in the face to people that don’t deserve to be disrespected. Not allowing certain words like women or trauma in applications for government grants sends quite the message that our government is no longer caring for people or the very women that gave birth to all of us.
This is much bigger than my worries about losing my disability check and health insurance, although I am. Money and power are not the most important thing. DJT doesn’t believe this and this is the way he is leading our country. His goal is to make the rich richer and to hell with the rest of us. He doesn’t care about the national debt; he wants to increase it. Everything he is doing is making the United States of America weaker. But we don’t have to allow this. Folks, we are allowing some very dangerous things to happen. We can’t be silent. We must speak or stand or write or walk or do whatever we can to maintain our democracy and take it back from the Trump administration and the MAGA republican congressmen that have given up their power to DJT and his followers or we are going to become like Russia, Trump’s favorite friend.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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