To Be Honest

I was a hypocrite once
I was so well trained that I didn’t know who I was
I didn’t have words or experience or reason to think in
any other way until I did
And so I said things like
I can understand gay people
but bisexual doesn’t make sense
You have to choose
What is wrong with transgender people?
God doesn’t make mistakes

For years I was confused
I went to a Christian therapist and tried to pray it away
Blame it on Karen
Both my therapist and I prayed for Karen
I couldn’t be queer
I had loved Monte
But when I asked God for a partner there was Karen
My therapist’s ministry could not be connected to me
after I married Karen but I understand why
I knew the lingo

When I began to search I found that
sex is more than genitalia
It’s more than DNA
It’s how you think
How you speak
How you move
How you express who you are
I was right that God doesn’t make mistakes
But sometimes humans
can’t see something hidden more than skin deep

No one would choose to be queer or transgender
But we should not have to fight to exist
Laws should not be made
so that we can’t use the bathroom
or marry who we love
Laws should not have to be made
to make sure we can get
housing or a job
We don’t deserve to be hated
just because we aren’t lying about who we are

So many people lie about who they are
They cheat on their partners and themselves
They say they love God
but they are not generous or kind
They tell people how they should live
while they hide who they really are
While they hate themselves and think small
While they hurt people and
say one thing in public
and a very different thing in private

I think we should all
be free to love ourselves
To be honest
To find beauty in all kinds of people
Because God made us all
and God understands that it is really hard
for some of us to live on this earth
And the choices I make are
for He and I to talk about
And He will talk to you about yours

And since God is not a man
outside of Jesus
but God is Jesus and Spirit
God is a They
so They understand more
than we give Them credit for

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