I Am Still Very Weak

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 25, 2025 | About Summer, Cancer

I woke up at 2:30 am on Saturday. I was aware something was wrong when I had gone to bed. Something had been wrong since Wednesday when I had had my first radiation treatment for endometrial cancer. My ribs and lungs had begun hurting. I thought it was fibromyalgia responding. This was normal but it kept getting worse. As I would get up to do things I would get out of breath easily. It had been getting worse. After going to the bathroom, I barely made it back to bed. My breathing never came back to complete normal.

At 3 am, I woke Karen. I told her something was wrong. I needed to go to the hospital. She was so tired. She watched me for awhile. I asked her what she was thinking and she said she was just watching me. Soon I needed to use the bathroom again. This time, I couldn’t make it back to the bed. I sat at the desk while I labored to breathe and sweated profusely. It felt like the last time I was hospitalized for blood clots. Karen agreed this was wrong. She started dressing. I was giving orders to pack certain things I would need. I knew I would be admitted. She was bringing clothes to me and helping me dress.

I had to use the restroom again and barely made it back to the desk chair. I was trying to figure out how I was not sure how I was going to make it to the car. I was so scared. Luckily the building we live in had chairs in the midway point so I could rest before forcing myself to walk the rest of the way to the car and get in.

As we started towards the main road, I said Legacy Salmon Creek. Karen was so scared she said no, St John. I said no. I won’t get out of the car. In the end I got what I wanted. I think St John ER is great, but I am still healing from my experience in their ICU with my blood clots back in 2022. I had a great experience with Legacy Salmon Creek in 2014 and my gynecological oncologist is there and she manages my Eliquis because my blood clots are related to my cancer, and she is an amazing doctor. I knew I would have a better experience at Legacy Salmon Creek and I did.

I was so sick. I had ultrasounds on my heart, liver and legs; very painful. My heart and liver were very stressed out because of the very large blood clot in my right lung and the many medium clots in my left lung. Both my arms are covered in bruises from constant blood pressure checks, blood draws, and drug administration. Even my fingertips are bruised from blood sugar checks.

I had to fight for my medications. The weekend doctor, although kind and interesting, stopped all my meds. Some of my meds are not meant to just stop. They kept me on a liquid diet and sometimes took even my fluids away as they weren’t sure when they were going to remove my blood clots. I didn’t care about food; I was too tired. Even jello was a chore to eat. But I hated when I couldn’t have water because when you are on oxygen your nose and mouth become so dry.

Eventually I got my meds back. Which is good because my mood was very bipolar. Thankfully I had my phone and backup battery with me so I could keep my music going. It helped my mood and often the nurses enjoyed it and would feel embarrassed when they started dancing. I told them not to be embarrassed; my wife dances all the time.

I had to be awake during my surgery so when the doctor needed to take a picture, I could hold my breath. They cheered when they got the biggest clot out. I think they forgot I was awake when I asked if I could see it because they were very surprised. When they were done, they showed me a picture of a huge pile of clots. I said, no wonder I was having such a hard time breathing. They agreed.

They also installed a metal mesh so that any clots that form in my legs cannot get into my lungs and heart. I will have that removed after my cancer is gone.

I am still very weak. You don’t just go back to 100% after having blood clots in your lungs and I still have some small ones in my lungs that my body has to break down.

I had stopped taking my Eliquis for the radiation therapy and been off of it for 2 weeks. The blood thinners stop the blood from clotting. I won’t be able to go off of Eliquis but for a couple of days when we return to the last three treatments, but Dr Westhoff says we are taking a month for me to heal. By the look of my arms, I know my veins are happy about that, but I know my lungs need to recover too.

On the way home, I was planning to make a lentil soup because that is the ingredients I have. When I told Karen, she told me no. Then I realized I have slept most of the day since Saturday and I probably didn’t have the energy to make anything. I did end up sleeping most of today.

Money is tight. All the trips to Vancouver are out of our normal. My Eliquis is a much larger dose so we have that too. But through all this, even though God could have moved this mountain, He didn’t. Even though I was too tired to talk to Him, except for a few people that landed on my heart, I know He carried me the entire way, provided for every need, and will keep doing the same because He loves me. God bless you.

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.