I Am A Warrior

There is a monster in my closet
I didn’t put her there
But I remember a life
before it wasn’t
and then it was
because my father put it there

~

I remember always being happy 
when I had rainbows on my curtains 
When I dreamed of being a singer
When I helped him build our shed
But then he got a job at the gas station
right next door to The Woodshed it was different

~

And the yelling probably slowed down
because he didn’t come home as much
I remember going there
and waiting in the car
I remember lots of crying 
and the phone being hung up

~

I remember being afraid 
and the lawn mower being stolen
even though we had grass
and he didn’t
I remember meeting the monster
and thinking: she looks like a witch

~

The scandal was great
and we paid dear
He even had to move because
the guys he worked with didn’t want him near
The monster and I hated each other
and she always won

~

Eventually I left
partially because he told me
“If you are the only one with a problem
then you are the problem.”
I remind myself of that
to avoid wrongful retribution from a narcissist or two

~

I keep cleaning out my closet
but I ran into her the other day
I worry about him because
he seems smaller in some ways
But I can’t be concerned about him
because he made his choice and it wasn’t me

~

Men’s loud voices still make me jump
and sometimes cry
But her voice
The monster’s voice makes all
the hair on my body stand up
and I get very quiet inside 

~

I have fought with him and I always win
Because he is a coward 
What kind of man leaves a wife and children
for a demon who will help him conquer
everything in their path?

~

I am a warrior because I have learned
To wage my battles
My scars are many
And she is not worth the fight

~