They didn’t protect me as a child
they must have noticed I wasn’t there
when he came to see his mother
They knew his abuse
They knew what broke him
Some even helped make him who he is
They knew he was not safe
and still is not
~
They will not protect me now
No one is coming
I am here with my wife
knowing that his second wife
has consumed any goodness in him
and no one will stop him
They have chosen him over me
Again, I am collateral damage
~
This mental illness that has been passed down
through generations is called PTSD
because violence, porn, and neglect do not raise healthy adults
Every trip from Longview to Yakima
he screamed at me all the hate he had trapped inside
and then from Yakima to Longview he did it again
When I get triggered, it feels brand new
It takes a few days to pack it away again
~
I have cut ties with many people
I must let go of everything that does not serve me
I asked Karen if she is ready
to be the Kelso-Longview Clemensons
tethered to no one
Because no one is coming to save me
She said: Bring it on!
The woman who’s name I bear is dead
~
We get to define it however we like
So, from now on if you say you love me and you don’t prove it
Keep walking
God said He was more important than family
and now I know why
Because I held a human heart in my prayers last night
and I could have cursed it but instead, I handed it to Him
and not everyone will do that
~
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