Recently I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a new friend on Messenger that helped me grow a new wrinkle on my brain, the one place I want as many wrinkles as possible. Her name isn’t really Susan, but I wasn’t sure she wanted me to share her real name so I gave her a name that people, for some reason, often mistake my name for:

Susan: Are You are TERF?

Me: I don’t understand. What do you mean?

Susan: There is a certain comedian that had gone out of their way to include transphobic material in their comedy routines. A TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Me: “Well, I didn’t know they did that. And I am not judgmental towards anybody in the family. I just agreed with the statement, in this scenario. They are also an atheist and I don’t agree with them on that level either. I don’t think I will ever meet them so there is no chance we will be friends, but if we do meet, I will ask them why they pick on such beautiful people just for money. It only makes them look small. Do I need to take the post down?”

Susan: “It would make me more comfortable if you did. This post resonates with me on the terms of some of the transphobic things they have said.’

Me: “Thank you for telling me about your feelings and this term.”

Susan: “I’m glad we could have some amount of dialogue over it and move forward.”

Me: “I am too. The post is gone.”

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism is a form of transphobia or specifically trans-misogyny that targets trans women and trans-feminine people.

There does seem to be a group of lesbians and radical feminists that believe that including trans-females “erases” them or makes them less relevant,. There are events in Europe where trans-females have been excluded which have caused angst with groups that support both lesbians and trans-females.

In the purest form of feminism, all genders have equal rights and opportunities and there is respect for diversity, experiences, identities, knowledge, strength and striving for women, and everyone to realize their full rights.

Some feminists do not see transgender females as women; they feel as though since this group of people were assigned male at birth, they are privy to male privilege and can’t fully appreciate the subordinate social position of women in society. These women believe that by choosing to live as a female, transgender females are exercising another form of male entitlement. This reason has allowed them to exclude trans women from womanhood and women-only spaces, creating a sex-based oppression.

These radical feminists are losing footing in the United States as annual events are seeing artists boycott events that exclude transgender women. One trans woman that was excluded from Michfest in 2014 said, “it’s not really wanting to invade space. It’s a deep-seated wanting to belong.” But she added, “if you’re identifying with women, shouldn’t you be empathizing with women?” What is a Women; The New Yorker

Why is is wrong to look at only biological gender as a marker for gender? Because there are many differences that make the female experience different. Race, sexuality and social status make a difference in the experiences of womanhood, let alone the binary construct that gender dwells on. Trans females and trans-feminine people face very serious oppression and suffer with high rates of violence, homelessness, poverty, sexual assault and healthcare discrimination. Women’s spaces and resources need to be available to them, including shelters, survivor support, health care, and bathrooms all need to be made available to every person; trans-men may need pregnancy and related services as well. By alienating trans-females, cis women that are more masculine have been targeted because people have assumed they are trans.

I am really glad that Susan reached out to me and not just because we got to share really cute pictures of our cats after we were done talking about TERFs but because she helped me learn about a topic I wouldn’t have learned about otherwise. When I referred to “the family” I was talking to all queer folks whether they are an L-G-B-T-Q-I or A, we need to stick together and support each other not just because we suffer persecution sometimes but because we are fellow humans. As humans we can all relate to each other, knowing that we all suffer, we all want to grow and we all seek joy.

I wish you well.

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

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