by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 21, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
I knew nothing of Gandhi when I began reading Gandhi An Autobiography The Story of My Experiments with Truth by Mohandas K. Gandhi. I had no idea he had died in 1948, well before my parents were born. I knew people quoted him, but really that was about it and as I began to read his words I was pulled in to his simplicity, his desire to to serve, to be better and his loyalty to non-violence in ways I had never considered.
“I have nothing new to teach the world. Truth and non-violence are as old as the hills.” Gandhi
Gandhi was raised in a Vaishnavas family. This is a branch of modern Hinduism. They are vegetarians because they do not eat anything without making an offering to God first, and He has only asked for vegetable offerings.
Gandhi often spoke of “Ahimsa” a word that seemed to be a complex word that was one of pure love and non-violence. He was very devoted to his parents. Like many children in India, he was married very young. Gandhi was married at the age of 13 years old, in 1883. This seemed so strange to me but it is very normal in their culture and the wife still stays with her parents for much of the year, which I thought was very interesting. I don’t know if that is still a custom. But I do know that Gandhi struggled with being a good husband; I appreciate the humanity that he shared in the book. He was far from perfect but he was always working on himself to be better.
“The seeker after truth should be humbler than the dust. The world crushes the dust under its feet, but the seeker after the truth should be so humble himself the even the dust could crush him. Only then, and not till then, will he have a glimpse of truth.” Gandhi, November 26, 1925
Gandhi left his family in India while he studied law in England yet he had not learned about Indian law, Hindu and Mahomedan law when he was called to the bar in 1891 and he felt he was not prepared to practice law because having only read law was different than applying law. He was given the chance to watch the high court but his real help came when his brother found him work in the community.
Traveling in South Africa Gandhi experienced terrible “color prejudice.” On one instance he had his ears boxed and was beaten about his head for refusing to sit on the floor because the railroad agent wouldn’t let him sit in the seat he paid for and then the agent wanted the seat he made Gandhi take as consolation.
On another occasion, after being shoved by an officer into the street and being offered by a white friend to be helped to sue, Gandhi said: “You need not be sorry. What does the poor man know? All colored people are the same to him. He no doubt treats Negroes just as he has treated me. I have made it a rule not to go to court in respect of any personal grievances. I do not intend to proceed against him.”
The officer did apologize to Gandhi after being chastised by Gandhi’s high ranking friend, but Gandhi had already forgiven him. He also chose a new path to walk. The officer was guarding an officer’s home and there would be others. It was illegal for people of color to walk on the sidewalks or be out after 9 pm and Gandhi didn’t want to cause any issues with other officers.
“It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honored by the humiliation of their fellow beings.” Gandhi
As Gandhi’s popularity grew he was being requested to visit to other parts of South Africa he had never been to before. We didn’t have technology like we do today so rumors would spread that while he was with his family in India he was speaking poorly of people in South Africa, which was not true. Luckily for Gandhi, he had a weak voice and all of his speeches were written down for others to read for him so he could offer them as proof in South Africa that he was a comrade who only meant to make life better for the Indian immigrants in South Africa.
“Supposing the whites carry out their threats, how will you stand by your principle of non-violence? To which I replied: ‘I hope God will give me the courage and the sense to forgive them and to refrain from bringing them to law. I have no anger against them. I am only sorry for their ignorance and their narrowness. I know that their sincerely believe that what they are doing today is right and proper. I have no reason therefore to be angry with them.’”
Gandhi spent his whole life in servitude and learning how to do things better. He tried hard to spend as little money as possible in order to be able to give more to his community. He learned to do many things for himself that his fellow lawyers paid others to do, like his laundry and cutting his own hair. While he was learning, he would make mistakes and when his colleagues would laugh at him, he would take joy at their joy at his mistake. He walked everywhere, which he felt added to his health. As a simple life became more important to him, he got ride of things that were unnecessary.
“Service which is rendered without joy helps neither the servant nor the served. But all other pleasures and possessions pale into nothingness before service which is rendered in a spirit of joy.” Gandhi
Gandhi felt he should not receive gifts for his service to the community. When they gave him gifts of gold, silver and a diamond he entrusted some lawyers to a trust at a local bank to handle the fund and placed the valuables in there to be used when needed by the community. At the time his wife was upset but as they did benefit from it in the future, she came to see his wisdom.
Gandhi did not make distinction between people whether they were relatives, strangers, countrymen, foreigners, white, colored, Hindus, Indians of other faiths, whether Musalmans, Parsis, Christians, or Jews. He believed it was because he made vows to non-violence, celibacy, non-possession, vegetarianism and other cardinal virtues. He was always consciously striving to cultivate these virtues in himself. He was perfect at changing plans as needed. He was community minded to a fault and ever ready to give of his time and knowledge.
“I have found by experience that man makes his plans to be often upset by God, but at the same time where the ultimate goal is the search of truth, no matter how a man’s plans are frustrated, the issue is never injurious and often better than anticipated.” Gandhi
The Indian culture is very foreign to me. From what I have read in Gandhi An Autobiography, I understand that there are many types of religions: Hindu (of which there are many types) Musalmans, Sikhs, Parsis, Muslim, Christian and Jewish. At the timeline of this book India had a caste system that defined a person’s status in society. I would have to research to find out if this was still in play. I know that Gandhi, himself, did not care for it and tried to help bridge the gaps between people. From 1858 to 1947 India was under the rule of England. Much of the legal work that Gandhi did was to help make life better for Indian people in both India and South Africa. When India was freed from England Gandhi had established satyagraha or a non-violence by non-compliance stand with England which I am sure helped them a great deal.
I have stopped many times, while reading this book, to pause and just let it sink in; the love and selflessness Gandhi worked hard to live. He said he didn’t fully understand the principles of Christianity but I saw grace, mercy and forgiveness in his writing, generosity, humility, and service. This book really inspired me to read many more books. Good books always do. I intend to learn more about the Hindu religion and many of the philosophers that Gandhi mentioned. I will also re-read this book. I don’t totally understand law and politics but I relish the self-improvement and religion that Gandhi was committed to. He was truly a great man.
“To see the universal and all-pervading Spirit of Truth face to face one must be able to love the meanest of creatures as oneself.” Gandhi
Buy your own copy of Gandhi An Autobiography The Story of My Experiments with Truth by Mohandas K. Gandhi on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 15, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Essential Oils, Opinions, Prayers, Thanksgiving
3 For the enemy has persecuted my soul; He has crushed my life to the ground; He has made me dwell in darkness, like those who have long been dead.
4 Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is distressed.
5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the works of Your hands.
6 I spread out my hands to You; My soul longs for You like a thirsty land. Selah
7 Answer me speedily, O Lord: My spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like like those who go down into the pit.
8 Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift my soul to You.
9 Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; In You I take shelter.
10 Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your Spirit is good.
11 Revive me, O Lord, for Your name’s sake! For Your righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.
Psalm 143:3-11
This has been a hard week.
I have thought about writing but decided to do my bible study before I wrote and each time decided I would put it off because I was not right and I didn’t want to write the wrong thing. Knowing when to not say anything is wisdom too.
Today I found the scripture that captured how I have felt and still feel a bit. I am so thankful that God is so faithful! He is so patient and helpful when we keep pushing into Him for guidance and healing.
I can see now that I set myself up for failure. I can blame no one but myself.
I chose to get my final COVID-19 booster on Saturday. I have been exhausted and my arm has been in more pain that I remember from most immunizations but Frankincense and Peppermint have proven to be the best helper.
I chose to visit a church that was an offshoot of a church I have been to before that I know has cult-like beliefs. I wanted to believe they would be different. They have amazing worship but their teachings are not entirely biblical. I know this. I was hurting a lot and I wanted to be healed even though God has told me that no one would ever be allowed to prophesy over me or heal me. I let them anyway and brought home someone’s spiritual junk.
My neurologist has been adjusting my anti-convulsants, hoping to address my Trigeminal Neuralgia with a medicine we are currently using to control my migraines. It seems to affect my moods until my body is used to the new dosage. I can see and feel this. I should stay off Facebook while we do this but I chose to become part of a conversation I should have stayed out of. Instead, a comment I made that was not fully thought about became a huge thing and one of my sibling’s adult children used a comment they used to use to hurt me. I am glad I showed restraint in my response because the next day when I looked at their comment again, I realized they were being 20 years old and not being malicious.
But PTSD had taken hold of me.
This comment had done its damage and they might as well have sliced me in two so I could have had Karen G Clemenson send pictures to my oncologist to see if my cancer was still there. I have been fighting with old feelings all week. Forgiving was painfully hard and didn’t seem to be working like usual. The pain would not go away. It has been very hard to function but I have succeeded to do my workouts on most days, do my bible studies, get laundry done and cook healthy meals…not much more.
I have worked though a lot of things and God reminded me that I don’t have to visit any churches this coming weekend so I can rest a bit more from the stress I caused myself and be able to enjoy some time with Karen on her days off. He never did say I had to join a church, that is something I crave. A family, but I have issues with family and He isn’t done working on me…
One thing that was a turning point for me this week, that really helped me stop focusing so much on my pain was the miracle that Jamie has found a doctor that will help her with her collapsed lung. You can learn more about what she is going through in her article called Update on June Goal! Jamie Holloway has been my best friend and sister for many years and I love her so much. When I need someone to listen or tell me the truth she is always there to listen and pray. She knows my heart, doesn’t feel the need to be defensive with me, and knows me better than most people so her struggle with getting enough oxygen hurts my heart. I pray every day that God heal her lungs and throat. I admire her strength and determination to have the best life she can even in the most scare circumstances.
So…I choose to forgive myself for putting too much on my plate and expecting too much out of myself and setting myself up for failure and I trust myself to the Holy Spirit that loves me and wants to see me whole by the grace of God. Amen
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 8, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
The latest book I have devoured, The Lost Apothecary A Novel by Sarah Penner, was a wonderful juggling act between two worlds. Nella’s world in 1791 London and Caroline’s world in present day Ohio traveling to London. Both women have been hurt by their love interests and suffered loss. Both women meet wonderful women that become bosom friends that help them find the parts of themselves that they had lost while surviving.
This story captured my attention and made it nearly impossible to put the book down long enough to do much else. Penner’s writing style is easy to read and pulls you in. The chapters are the perfect length to let you read a chapter between chores or read just one more chapter…
I tend to find myself drawn to biographies and non-fiction. I find myself to be generally terrible at choosing fiction books so I was glad to have my sister, Jamie Holloway, hand me a bag of novels to read at my last visit. I told myself I would read 4 before I read any of the 21 books I just bought myself (all biographies). Jamie knows how to pick good ones! If you want to read her book review of The Lost Apothecary go to JamieChasesButterflies.com.
I highly recommend this book if you want an intriguing read with mystery, intellect and even a little murder and magic mixed in.
Buy your own copy of The Lost Apothecary A Novel by Sarah Penner on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 4, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions
Today is an important day for The United States. Today is the day we celebrate our Independence Day from oppression and whether or not you feel as though we free from oppression, we are more free today than we have been and some of the lack of freedom we feel now is more in our mind than in actuality. We should stop at think about that for a moment and be thankful. That is a big statement but in reality, at least in my reality it is a true statement.
I Used to be a Person Who Thought She Hated People
When I was 20 years old I got a job at Lane Bryant in the Three Rivers Mall. Within a month, I was excited to be promoted to a co-manager position. I was an angry young woman. I had a lot I needed to deal with that I didn’t even have words for but I felt as if the black sticker with white letters in all caps that said I HATE PEOPLE said it all. I put it on my locker thinking how proud I was to be able to communicate my feelings. Almost immediately my boss made me take it down, so I put it inside my locker. Next she offered to write me up if I didn’t get rid of it. We worked in a job that relied on serving people. I was a leader and how was I supposed to lead people if they thought I hated them. I had never thought about that before. I have never forgot that conversation.
Since then I have been through a lot. A lot of therapists. A lot of medications. A lot of relationships. A lot of life experiences and you know what? I don’t hate people. I love them. I was scared of them. I was scared of me. I was scared of the truth. I was scared of life.
I was raised by a single parent that had their own issues. They deserve a shirt full of medals considering all the barriers they were having to overcome: mental illness without names, proper treatments or health insurance to cover any of it, having little to no help from their ex-spouse, having their own shortcomings…I could go on but I am sure you get the idea. My family is intelligent, hard-working and generous but they are far from perfect; there are layers of dysfunction that go back for generations even though each generation gets better.
I was taught to be afraid of everything. So I was.
But you know what? Remembering that the point of life is to learn to love and to overcome fear really helps. Forgiving myself and the people that have hurt me, even if I don’t know them, really helps. God did not tell me to save the world. The world is His and He has already overcome the world. He told me to be of good cheer (John 16:33). What I am supposed to do is let Him change my mind and as He does that I will change the world through my interactions with others.
Being angry and afraid all the time only makes me sick and tired and then I am useless. So I pray for the situations that make me feel angry, afraid, sad and even happy and wait to see if I am supposed to do anything else. Sometimes I am supposed to write something; maybe for my own good or for the good of someone who might benefit from reading what I have learned. God told us to focus on whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8) beating a dead horse because we are angry is not going to bring the dead horse back. Beating up a dead animal is also just going to mess up our look and who wants to look like that?…
I Used to be a Person Who Wanted to Die
Depression may be part of my natural chemical make up but it could have been a learned trait too. The parent that raised me was depressed a lot and often felt as though death was an option. I don’t believe they ever acted on it but it was a regular thought. There are a lot of behaviors I have had to unlearn as an adult that I learned growing up. Children raised by a mentally ill parent are often taught the coping skills of their parent as normal. They either have the same mental illness or they have learned behaviors. I do not have the same mental illness as my parent. I have been able to unlearn some of the unhealthy coping skills I was raised with with a lot of therapy, prayer and will power. But it took me moving away and a good friend telling me my behavior was not normal for me to realize that people didn’t melt into a puddle in the hallway without the ability to function or move when they were overwhelmed for me to start looking at my behaviors.
I spent most of my extra time in high school, when I wasn’t in classes, working my 3 part time jobs or chauffeuring my siblings around or cleaning or cooking, studying child abuse and the Holocaust. I am not sure why but I was infatuated. I am sure this was part of the reason I was so depressed. It probably didn’t help. I remember the first time I really wanted to die. I had a pair of old hair cutting scissors in my hand. I was going to shred my wrist. I had been crying and praying. I was on my knees on the floor. I had the scissors in my right hand. As my right hand moved toward my left wrist I felt a hand grab my right wrist and hold tight. I literally could not move my right arm. It held me tight until I fell into more sobs onto the floor. I was alone. I knew that was the hand of God.
I was suicidal off and on from the age of 16 until I was about 25 regularly. But each time I felt it come on I thought about who would find me and what that would do to them. Even though I was miserable I knew that killing myself would hurt other people and I didn’t want to do that. I had a friend that attempted suicide several times and it hurt me so bad that she would be so selfish that at one time I told her if she wanted to die so bad, give me a call and let me do it. I didn’t really want to kill her, I just wanted her to know how badly it hurt me. It never stopped her from attempting.
Every now and then I have a moment where I feel that panic but it is very rare and usually it is triggered by a big stressor. I tell my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and my sister, Jamie Holloway, about it and they pray for me and we talk. I don’t want to die anymore but it is good to have support. I am not afraid to die but I don’t need to facilitate it. Since I named my depression, Veda, it doesn’t seem to have the same power over me. I announce that Veda is here and she doesn’t seem to stay long. I am still in control.
I Used to be a Person That Didn’t Know What I Wanted
I was 35 years old before I occurred to me that I didn’t know what I wanted. I had always been told what I wanted. If my ideas were not accepted at home, they were stupid. I didn’t like being told that so I stopped talking and just put my head down and went to work. But I didn’t know how to do anything but go to work. The problem with that was that I had had to move back home and I really needed to leave but I just didn’t know how to make that happen. When you don’t have a vision you can’t make it happen.
I had tools and knowledge but I was still very afraid.
I am so happy that I have more tools and more knowledge and I have overcome many more fears. I don’t have all the answers yet. I am sure I never will but I know that I want to live in world that thrives in honesty and authenticity. In my world it is ok to say I am not ok today. It is acceptable to warn people that I might snap at them and I am not angry at them but my head really hurts. In my world it is ok to cancel plans because you are not well enough to do them. It is ok to say no. It is ok to choose to not become friends with someone because they need more than you can give or not give your cell phone number out to people that don’t understand that you have a phobia of the phone and they can’t not abuse the privilege of having your number. In my world a discussion isn’t a fight because I don’t like to fight but I do like to know what you think so I know your boundaries better and what is a safe topic to talk about and I want to be able to set safe topic boundaries with you as well.
I naturally want to be a protector. I have thrown myself in front of a lot of people to my detriment and I am learning to choose more wisely when to do that. I am learning better how to protect myself because that is a person that I didn’t protect well in the past. But protecting is different than hiding. Hiding is for people who are afraid. Protecting is for people that are making healthy decisions and I want to be that person.
When I was a child I wanted to be wife and mother, a teacher, a singer and dancer. When I became an adult I wanted to be a web designer, business owner, a good wife and a grandmother. I have in one way or another been everything but a mother and grandmother. Good writer…well that is a perspective and I am writing most days so I guess I am working on it. My wife tells me I am a good wife and she is the one I should ask. So we will keep working on finances and we will head toward fostering and see what happens along the way. God has amazing ways of making families and He always gives us our heart’s desire.
I Used to a Person That Was Less Free
As I have set down fears and picked up more love, learned to forgive more easily and let life happen without worrying about what I can’t control (as much) I feel so much more free. I wanted to be Wonder Woman when I was growing up. I thought I could save the world but now I just want to grow and influence those around me for the better, as God wants me to.
Now I know at a more deeper level that God is the Wonder and I am just one of His kids and I am happy with that. When He wants to use me for a miracle, I am available but I have come to realize that miracles are often not huge, but small and significant wonders that mean a whole heck of a lot to someone if they are looking for them.
You are a miracle. The fact that you read this is a miracle. I hope it blessed you. I know what I was going to write was not this and then God reminded me who I am today. You see holidays tend to remind people with traumatic pasts who they used to be and I woke up thinking I was back there until His still small voice reminded me that we had worked through a lot of that I am here now and I live in a much more peaceful and joyful time and I have chosen forgiveness so many times so I don’t need to relive my trauma anymore. I need to remind myself how strong I am and how far He has brought me.
Today is my Independence Day. I hope it is yours too.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 3, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
I just finished this amazing book called The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams. It sucked me in and I could hardly think of anything else for the 3 afternoons it took me to devour it. I also loved that it had short chapters so I could read a chapter between tasks.
The book has lots of characters but the main characters are Mukesh and Aleisha. They live in London and they meet at the local Harrow Road Library. They are there for very different reasons.
Mukesh is an elderly widow, learning to live without his beloved wife Naina. While his daughters are at his home to go through their mother’s things they find a library book with a thick layer of dust on the cover: The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audry NIffenegger under the bed. Mukesh had always enjoyed watching documentaries while his wife always had her nose in a book. In fact most of his memories were of her curled up with a book. As he began reading The Time Traveler’s Wife he began feeling like he was with his wife. As if she was there with him and his loneliness was gone.
Aleisha is a 17-year-old girl, between high school and college. She has always done well in school; she intends to study law after the summer is over but she hasn’t been able to get the job she wants so her older bother, Aiden has suggested she apply at the library, his favorite place, and past place of employment. At first she doesn’t enjoy her job. She hasn’t read for enjoyment before and she is bitter about not getting the job she likes but she finds a reading list tucked inside a book and is intrigued and begins reading the list and finds it is a great way to travel to other places. Any other place than her stressful home and boring life.
Throughout the book, many people find the same reading list hidden in many places all over town:
- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
- Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
- The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
- Life of Pi by Yann Martel
- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin
- Little Women by Lousia May Alcott
- Beloved by Toni Morrison
- A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
It occurred to me who might have been the person that wrote the list at some point in the book and I was happy to find I was correct.
This book is about relationship, and finding yourself while losing yourself in a book. You can do this by learning the lessons in stories. I am so thankful that my sister, Jamie Holloway loaned this book to me, if you want to read her book review please see JamieChasesButterflies.com.
At the end of the book the author shared their reading list. If you are interested here is Sarah Nisha Adams’ reading list:
- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
- The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
- White Teeth by Zadie Smith
- Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
- Standard Deviation by Katherine Henry
- A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
- Stranger Weather in Tokyo by Hiromi Kawakami
- The Magic Toy Shop by Angela Carter
- I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
- Sunlight on a Broken Column by Attia Hosain
- There But For The by Ali Smith
I have read a few of the books on these lists but I intend to read them all and reread the ones I have read again. It is good to revisit a good book. I also took a few minutes and crafted my own reading list in case you are interested:
- The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein’
- A Little Princess by Francess Hodgson Burnett
- Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
- The Bluest Eyes by Toni Morrision
- Memoirs of a Geisha by Arther Golden
- The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
- Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neal Hurston
- Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Soul of an Indian by Charles Alexander Eastman
- Carmello by Sandra Cisneros
Each of these books came to me at very different times in my life and left their mark on me forever. I would love to hear your reading book list too. If you want to share leave it in the comments below.
Buy your own copy of The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 1, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions
I loved the book, The Watchmakers by Harry Lenga and Scott Lenga, and devoured all 262 pages in one afternoon. I simply could not put it down. There was also a glossary, sources and endnotes that I used and or skimmed as needed. I have to admit this book sat for 3 days because I was afraid to pick it up. I had spent my entire high school years researching the Holocaust and I know the depth of evil that can be in humanity. Learning about the Holocaust and the level of depravity at literally every level: mental, emotional, physical that the Nazi regime used to control a nation and erase over 6 million people makes it easy to imagine any evil on the earth. I don’t say that to take away from any other people group. It is just a fact. Nothing that has happened to any other people group didn’t happen to the Jews during the Holocaust in calculated fashion, yet amongst the hate, filth and depravity there is the beautiful part of humanity: in the midst of the worst some of us are able to come together in love and hold each other up.
This book is written by Scott Lenga, yet he lovingly used interviews and memories of his father, Harry Lenga’s stories and tried to keep the story in his father’s voice. Three brothers: Maileckh, Moishe and Khil had humble beginnings as poor Jewish sons of a watchmaker that honored the religious traditions of his faith.
“For the rest of my life, I resented my father’s readiness to give charity to other people despite the immediate and cruel expense to our family. But it was the religious discipline and poverty that would later translate into valuable survival skills when I needed them during the war. My father’s true reward for his suffering and his commitment to charity was not the two zlotys (Polish currency worth .01) from a strange customer but rather that his four sons would survive the Shoah (Holocaust).” Harry Lenga, Chapter 2
Khil was outgoing and able to speak to many people. He enjoyed his studies and also enjoyed learning to repair watches with his father. There were other opportunities for Khil to learn other trades but he felt his father was an excellent and patient teacher. These things he learned from his father’s workbench would later save his life and the lives of his brothers in the darkest days.
As the Germans were taking over different parts of Poland the brothers traveled from their home in Koshnitz to Warsaw, Poland looking for work. The older brothers were learning to cut leather for shoes, while Khil continued to practice his trade and become better at it under the help of other watchmakers. Soon the Germans were in Warsaw and Khil was summoned to the Parliament building.
“Looking back on it now, It’s unbelievable what happened in that room in the Parliament building. If a Polish guy wanted to beat up a Jew, he would yell at you first. He would call you “dirty Jew” or “Christ killer” or something like that. He would beat you only after he made himself angry. But those German guys were not even angry. They didn’t call me dirty Jew or any other name. They were completely without emotion, without rakhmunes (compassion), without anything. Even when they saw the blood on me, it didn’t affect them. It was just their job, and they are enjoying it. The guy at the typewriter had been laughing. For him, it was entertainment, a comedy. They were doing those beating the whole day, one after another.” Harry Lenga, Chapter 4
Because the address on his identification card had been bombed he was safe for some time before he was found so he didn’t have to leave immediately. He was able to work a bit longer before going home. With the help of a friend he was able to sneak out of the Warsaw Ghetto and get home to his family without being killed.
He was happy to see his family although it wasn’t long before one of his father’s trusted friends let him know that he needed to send his sons away if he wanted them to live. Mikhoel Lenga sent his 3 sons away with as many watchmaking tools and parts as they could carry, which served them well. By morning the boys’ father was picked up and taken to Treblinka.
Treblinka was an extermination camp. More Jews were killed at Treblinka than any other extermination camp except Auschwitz. The Germans only set up extermination camps in Poland. In Poland 2.7 million people were murdered by asphyxiation with poisonous bass or by shooting. – Chapter 6
“We three brothers made a pact between us that whatever happened to one would happen to all of us. If one got taken to be killed, we all wanted to be killed. If we saw a chance to save each other, we had to try…and we did.” Harry Lenga, Chapter 7
There was a theme where the brothers, especially Khil, had to be brave enough to ask for help. Always willing to give what they had for their brother, but always willing to ask for what they needed.
“We worked hard to keep hope in our minds and not to become meshuga (crazy). And the more you talked yourself into it the more you believed in that hope. If a hungry person believes that he’ll find something to eat later, he can last longer. If he thinks, It’s pointless and I won’t survive, he dies faster. I saw it happen many times. Pessimism is a terrible sickness. You destroy yourself. You have to have optimism all the time.” Harry Lenga, Chapter 9
The three brothers: Maileckh, Moishe and Khil were together through 2 ghettos and several concentrations camps:
- Warsaw Ghetto – Poland
- Koshnitz Ghetto – Poland
- Gorczycki Camp – Poland
- Wolanow Slave Labor Camp – Poland
- Starachowice Slave Labor Camp – Poland
- Auschwitz-Birkenau Extermination Camp – Poland
- Mauthausen Concentration Camp – Austria
- Melk Concentration Camp – Austria
- Ebensee Concentration Camp – Austria
Once they were freed the three brothers were reunited with their oldest brother. They are able to change their names and establish their own lives. Mailech changed his named to Marcel and moved to Paris. Moishe changed his name to Morris and moved to The United States. Khil changed his name to Harry, after Harry Truman and he also moved to The U.S.
All the brothers eventually married and had families and were able to be together for the wedding of one of their children before one brother died. Each one was a successful business owner. Scott wrote that he knew not to complain to his father about any thing. Most things Scott might find unpleasant were nothing compared to what his father had endured and could endure. He said that the blue tattoo on his arm was something he ever got used to seeing like a mole or a scar. Scott had great empathy for his father, living in an adopted culture that could not possibly understand him.
The atrocities that occurred during the Holocaust still happen today. Now we call it slavery, sex trafficking, child abuse, domestic violence, religious purification and many other names. Hate comes in many names. What can we do? Hold onto hope and share it loudly. When you see abuse, help where you can. Love fiercely. Persecution will always be there, choose peace and optimism knowing that if you get through this you can live another day to do better.
There were times that Harry had the ability to get revenge. He chose to let revenge be for someone else for his own peace. He understood that his revenge might be justified but by joining in the hate he would tear himself apart. When you join in the hate that is what you do.
I want to thank my sister, Jamie Holloway, for sharing this book with me. If you would like to read her book review you can find it at JamieChasesButterflies.com.
Buy your own copy of The Watchmakers: A Story of Brotherhood, Survival, and Hope Amid the Holocaust by Harry Lenga and Scott Lenga on Amazon.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 29, 2022 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions, Wellness
I can’t say I wasn’t just a little nervous yesterday about meeting my new neurologist but I can tell you after meeting Dr. Kathleen Parks at PeaceHealth in Vancouver, I love my new neurologist! You might recall from my posts: Medical Issues and I Believe in Miracles where I spoke about my terrible experiences with my first neurologist where I felt bullied and definitely not heard. That is not the case with Dr. Parks. She not only asked me questions, she let me answer them. She examined me, she touched me, watched me walk and gave great feedback.
She had read my chart and was prepared for me. She agreed that I have probably had migraines for most of my life. She heard me that I was seeing success with my current medications. She appreciated that I still have headaches but they are manageable. When she asked me about the Trigeminal Neuralgia symptoms I told her I was having a flair now, that flossing and brushing my teeth was very painful, sometimes eating and drinking was painful but most of my episodes were only 1-3 seconds since I had been on the medications for my migraines. She let me know that I would have to be medicated all the time for this and since one of the meds we are currently using to treat my migraines is an anti-convulsant and I am not taking the highest dose, she wanted to try to raise the dose a bit to see if that helps with my daily headaches and helps control the face pain too. I agreed that was a good idea.
Although my episodes are getting longer; I had one that as 5 seconds long while flossing my teeth today, I am going to wait to start adjusting my meds until Sunday because it is easier for me to remember when I made a change if I do it when I refill our pill sorters. Lucky for me, I am not driving right now and I don’t floss my teeth when I am driving anyway. LOL! That was my main concern because when the episodes are worse, I don’t see how I could drive because the pain is so excruciating I would not want to cause a car accident.
I am so thankful that my sister, Jamie Holloway, encouraged me to fight for me. I knew from my first meeting with my first neurologist that it wasn’t a good fit but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because people have bad days and maybe it would get better as we got to know each other, but it did not get better so I had to advocate for myself. Now I have a neurologist that I can tell cares about me and wants to help me have a better quality of life.
I am so thankful that I had a day with Karen too! Her new position as the Safety and Sanitation Officer at Safeway is really making her happy. It is the perfect job for her nervous energy and she gets to interact with every department which works well with her desire to be nosey and helpful too. Plus it is a job that can be done every day so it was helpful to us that she was able to get the day off yesterday and make it up on Saturday. We had a nice time driving to Vancouver and back and even got to take a family nap together which Xavier, our cat loved. I heard him purring as his Mama joined us.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 27, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions
I had a friend that I considered more like family dump me over the weekend. it wasn’t the first time. They do this every 7 years or so, whenever I feel brave enough to ask for growth in our relationship. We have known each other for more years than we haven’t and gone through a lot together. I love them a lot.
I think that is why I tend to be the one that makes contact again after being dumped. I wait until I miss them and can’t stand it anymore. We stay casual and then fall into old habits. Eventually I feel like I am giving more and I say something and I get dumped.
The last time we reconnected, they actually contacted me on my birthday which made me cry because I was confused. I don’t remember what they did to disconnect from me that time, but I know it was painful because it took them a lot to get me to decide to give them another chance.
This has been the longest time we have stayed connected. Maybe it is because this time we are both married and live in different states, maybe it is because we are both being faithful to our mental health and we have healed a lot, but for whatever reason it has been nice.
Recently they came home for a visit and it was wonderful to see them! There was a peace in them I have never seen. I reveled in the healing they have found. I enjoyed the peace in myself too. Although we don’t agree on politics we could talk about other things and most conversations were fun and I thought everything was great. But then it wasn’t.
There was an issue that they brought up that I could not ignore. Not that I wanted to beat them up about it but I needed to be heard. I just needed them to know they hurt me. It was a short conversation. I told them how I felt. I told them how I wished they would have responded. Then I was done.
They got defensive.
I had hoped we could be grown ups. I mean we are almost 50 years old…
As the days went on. We had light conversations. Everything seemed fine but I knew they were going to dump me again. It probably showed in my last two blogs.
I have to remember what they said this time: I don’t want to know you.
Whether or not they meant to be abusive, which I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on because I know they have been through a lot in their life. I have to remember this because I have come to a place in my life where I no longer crave being rejected. Emotional neglect survivors at some level get used to this dynamic and create it in their lives and I don’t want to do this anymore.
I have prayed a lot for this person this weekend. I will continue to do so as they are on my heart, because that is what I do for people that are not in my life. Love doesn’t just die but relationships do. I will always love this person but I won’t let myself be rejected by them again.
So goodbye. I forgot to say that…
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 25, 2022 | Education, Opinions
Yesterday was a big day for emotions. Many people happy and many people afraid or angry about the Supreme Court’s decision to revoke Roe v Wade. I consider myself a concerned citizen for people who live in states that do not leave room for humanity in a legal aspect but what got me thinking was a poll someone put up in a group I didn’t add myself to. I don’t even remember the question because it was so ignorant and one sided and I surely didn’t respond to it…but it did get me thinking. This is not a yes or no question. It is lots of aspects question, so many that one article wouldn’t be enough. But I am going to share a few questions I started thinking about because of that question, that I can’t remember besides What Have We Done?…
When people don’t have the right to make the medical decisions that they feel they need to make, for their personal reasons and a child is born that they don’t want what happens? They are stuck with a child they don’t want. Now the beautiful thing about God is that most of the time the hormones He created to be running through a mother’s veins during the birthing process cause them to fall in love with their baby and the rest is a story of hard word and love but sometimes it isn’t.
How many children are in Foster Care in the United States?
According to the Children’s Bureau at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Children and Families (ACF) there were 407,000 children in foster care in The United State of America at the end of 2020. 117,000 of those children were waiting to be adopted as their parents had lost all legal rights to their children. These numbers were down from the previous year, with no clear reason, but still large.
In more recent numbers, according to iFoster, a nonprofit that helps assist in making sure that foster children have what they need to thrive while growing up in foster care, there are approximately 424,00 children in foster care nationwide. The number of children in foster care changes constantly and there are no two months or years that are the same.
The median age of children in foster care is 6 1/2 years old which has a huge impact on their cognitive and emotional development. Each year 20,000 young people age out of a system that is hugely underfunded. They often have not finished high school and have no chance at going to college. Within 4 years of aging out of the system, and no support system these young people often end up on government assistance or homeless.
How many children are being abused in the United States?
Before we can answer this questions we have to address what abuse is. There are 4 main types of abuse and neglect:
- Physical Abuse: intentional physical force that results in an injury like hitting, kicking, shaking or burning.
- Sexual Abuse: Pressuring or forcing a child to engage in sexual acts like fondling, penetration and exposing a child to other sexual activities.
- Emotional Abuse: Behaviors that harm a child’s self-worth or emotional wellness like name-calling, shaming, rejecting, withholding love and threatening.
- Neglect: Failure to meet a child’s basic physical and emotional needs like housing, food, clothes, education, access to medical care, validation of feelings and being appropriately responded to.
At least 1 in 7 children have experienced abuse or neglect in the last year in the United States. Since most cases are not reported, this number is probably larger.
In 2020 there were 618,399 reported cases of child abuse and neglect in the US.
In 2019 there were 4.4 million referrals involving alleged maltreatment of children to CPS agencies.
2/3 of all reports of alleged child abuse cases are by educational personnel, law enforcement and legal personnel, medical staff, social services, foster parents and daycare providers. Most other reports of child abuse come from friends, neighbors, relatives and anonymous reporters.
Children that have experienced abuse may have the immediate cuts, bruises and broken bones but they may also have emotional, psychological and cognitive difficulties throughout their life as well. As adults they may experience being a victim or perpetrator, substance abuse, STIs and difficulties finding employment.
In 2019, 29 states reported 877 unique cases of sex trafficking. Of these children, 88.5% were girls and 76.2% of all children were aged 14-17, some of these children were infants.
The top ten states for human trafficking are:
- Nevada
- Mississippi
- Florida
- Ohio
- Georgia
- Delaware
- California
- Missouri
- Michigan
- Texas
In 2019 38,625 infants in 47 states were referred to CPS as infants with prenatal substance exposure.
How many children are murdered each year in the United States?
In 2020, 1,750 children died of abuse and neglect in the United States of America.
In 2019, 1,840 children died due to abuse and neglect.
We Must Do Better
So unwanted children have it pretty hard. I have heard the same people who say abortion is evil complain about people on government assistance when the two are partners for a reason. Unwanted children grow up and tend to be adults that are unable to support themselves and have chronic conditions we as a society must continue to support, and the cycle continues.
The next thing I was concerned about is that clinics that offer abortions probably offer other services that are very important. in more rural areas, I am sure that these clinics are a God-send. But as funding is cut off to many clinics they will be closed down, making it harder for people to get the medical help they need.
What services are offered at abortion clinics?
Besides abortion services the following services may be offered at clinics:
- Birth Control
- General Health Care
- Annual Exams (Pelvic and Breast)
- Pap Smears
- Screenings and Treatment for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
- Cancer Screenings: Breast, Cervical and Prostate
- Screening & Referrals for Obesity, Diabetes and Dyslipidemia
- Screening & Referrals for Mental Health Issues and Addictions
- HIV services
- Patient education
- Pregnancy testing & services
- STD testing, treatment & vaccines
- Transgender Services
- Hormone Therapy
- Surgical Referrals for Gender Reassignment
- Post-surgical Follow Up
- Clerical Services
Where Do We Go From Here?
I know I could have gone deeper with my research. I know there is more information to know and to share. I just couldn’t keep going. These things make me sad and angry. I feel lucky that in Washington state we don’t have to worry about these things but I feel bad for people in states that aren’t honest about humanity. Texas is against abortion but they are the state with the highest rate of child abuse too. Over half of the states that are highest for sex trafficking also have laws against women’s rights to make medical decisions about their bodies.
In the end of all my reading I was most surprised by one thing…can you guess who the largest perpetrator of child abuse is? It is white mothers. The stats show that twice as many reported cases of child abuse are of white parents over black parents. Yet the media often portrays the bad guy with a black face. But that is a different blog…
I am going to keep praying. I hope you will too.
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Read More At:
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 23, 2022 | Cancer, Prayers
I was supposed to have a D&C on Monday. If you don’t know what that is. It is short for Dilation and Cutterage and it is exactly what it sounds like. It would have been my third one since I got my endometrial cancer diagnosis. The reason I didn’t have the procedure is that my insurance doesn’t want to cover the possibility that the IUD would have to be replaced at the end of the procedure.
Because my cancer is in stage 1 and class 1 we are treating my cancer with a D&C every 3 months, placement of a Molina IUD to help balance my hormones in hopes that my body will fight off the cancer on it’s own and then with the highest dose of Megestrol I can take every day. My insurance doesn’t want to cover an IUD that should last 5 years but it has to be removed for the procedure plus normal wear and tear sometimes makes it so that it must be replaced sooner. I can see why my insurance company is saying no.
I have a lot of doctor bills. They actually are probably pretty normal for a middle class family but we are not a middle class family. We have filled out all the applications for assistance but it seems like it still takes a lot of phone calls and time to get the wheels moving to get grants to help. I can understand this too. Right now, Legacy is concerned about the size of my account. I don’t blame them. I make payments each month but it all takes time and money and I have time and very little money.
I can see why we have been rescheduled for August for my next procedure. This procedure is the pivotal moment. This is the one that tells us whether the treatment has worked or if we need to talk about more serious options. This also gives us time to get assistance in order. It also let’s Karen start at her new promotion, get trained and receive her raise and work with her union. It may be that adding me to her insurance and having her insurance cover what mine won’t is the answer. We will see.
I am excited for Karen’s promotion. She has worked so hard for this. She loves it! And I get to see her more…plus it even leaves her more time to work with clients so she can still work on her dream of being a personal trainer. It’s a win-win all around.
When I do have my next procedure, if there isn’t enough change to see that the treatment is working we will have to plan for a laparoscopic hysterectomy. This surgery means I would have to essentially be upside down on the table for the procedure and that will put a lot of pressure on my lungs. If it seems that my body can’t handle this, the procedure will be cancelled and we will have to stop and plan for something else.
I am not a candidate for a vaginal hysterectomy. My uterus is very enlarged and I am very narrow. There is not enough room to safely remove my uterus without making sure all the blood vessels are handled correctly so that I don’t bleed out on the table. I appreciate that my doctor doesn’t want me to die during surgery. That doesn’t sound fun for either of us.
If the laparoscopic surgery doesn’t work we have to talk about an abdominal removal of my female organs which is dangerous and increases the risk of infection. We can also consider radiation. I am not wanting to consider either of these options but I will if I have to.
I am asking you to pray for me and my wife. She is good at wearing a strong face but I know she is worried. I am a stubborn woman and short of death, I will fight through no matter what but I worry about Karen. I don’t like pain but I am used to pain…although that doesn’t mean I want more.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 22, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
We Are Not Like Them is a novel written by Christine Pride and Jo Piazza. Like the writers, the main characters are women, one black and one white. Riley and Jenny have been friends since they were little girls. Jenny’s single mom was a free spirit who often enjoyed leaving Jenny with Riley’s family while she went on adventures. She knew they were good people and Jenny felt like she was part of their family, even though her skin was white and her hair was smooth and blonde.
The story begins as they are adults well beyond those more simple times. Riley is a news broadcaster and Jen is the wife of a police officer that has just shot a 14-year-old black boy. Jen’s husband, Kevin, is not a bad man or a bad cop, but in a split second, his training to support this partner has led him to a transitional moment that is causing their whole world to shake.
There are many things about racism and prejudice that can’t be put into words but you can feel them if you listen. I felt it in this book and I have felt it while walking beside my wife for the last 8 years. We can hear some of those things in a poem from chapter 7, in the book, that was shared at the funeral of Justin, by Justin, the boy killed at the beginning of the book:
What do you see when you see me?
Have you made up your mind about who I can be?
You could get to know me if you tried
You could see what I’m like inside
I am made of blood, bones, and muscles too.
So how can you say I am less than you?
I have so many dreams, even at my age.
Let me be free, don’t put me in a cage.
Watch what I can do.
In the book, Riley gets the chance to cover some of the story and interview the grieving mother. As great as this is for her career it really stretches her relationship with Jen as they are forced to look at issues they have never talked about before. Will their love and history be enough to carry them through this time?
“When I think of Kevin pulling that trigger…” She stops and shakes her head. “But I also believe that he gets a chance to explain himself, Jenny too. But things have always happened in the world, especially to our folks, but we can’t shut down every time they do. No choice but to keep pushing forward. It’s the same for you and Jenny — you gotta talk to see where you go from here.” Sandra Wilson, Riley’s mother, chapter 9.
I got this book from my sister, Jamie Holloway, you can read her review at JamieChasesButterflies.com.
We Are Not Like Them has come to me at a time when I am trying to come to peace with things I haven’t put words to in my life, but need to, like racism which I never had to worry about when I was a single white woman. I am well aware of prejudice as a woman with mental and physical chronic illness who is poor, fat and queer but I couldn’t understand my wife’s poor luck until I came to terms with the fact that racism is real but not something she wastes time worrying about. I admire Karen G Clemenson for that. Her strength is so much like Riley’s mother. Karen never lets anything keep her down. She takes the loss and keeps moving forward. So that is what we do.
…with that said, I think you should read this book. Your viewpoint will be totally different than mine and I would love to hear what you think!
Buy your own copy of We Are Not Like Them by Christine Pride and Jo Piazza on Amazon…
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 18, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions
“I learned a strange thing — that in a jumble of unintelligible talk the word “nigger” leaps out with electric clarity. You always hear it and always it stings. And always it casts the person using it into a category of brute, ignorance.” John Howard Griffin, Black Like Me, November 8 excerpt
I recently re-read this powerful book entitled Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin. I remember reading it in high school, back in the early 90’s but really all I remembered was that he was a white man, a journalist, and he had chemically darkened his skin with the help of a dermatologist in order to experience the life of a black man. Every other detail was brand new to me and I have to say reading this book has shaken me to my very core as a white woman, as a United States citizen and as a spouse to a mulatto woman, born in 1965, in North Carolina.
“Walking along Dryades, through the ghetto, I realized that every informed man with whom I had spoken, in the intimate freedom of colored bond, had acknowledged a double problem for the Negro. First, the discrimination against him. Second, and almost more grievous, his discrimination against himself; his contempt for the blackness that he associates with his suffering; his willingness to sabotage his fellow Negroes because they are part of the blackness he has found so painful.” John Howard Griffin, Black Like Me, November 10-12 excerpt
Just as the SS encouraged other Jewish prisoners to abuse and take ownership over other Jewish prisoners during the Holocaust, some white people encouraged black people to abuse each other and most of the rest of the white people stood by and let it happen. I have often read about black culture, slave culture. I know it was common for slaves to abuse their children bitterly because they felt it was better that they beat their children then the master do it. In many families this is still in place, this post slavery trauma response that hasn’t been altered by time because of lots of reasons, all individual to each family. And not just because of lack of education or change in some black families but the lack of education and change in some white families; the existence of white supremacy that is so accepted that we don’t realize it is there.
In his November 14 excerpt, Griffin travels to Mississippi, against the advice of his new friends who have been very helpful to his change over to his new life. Recently the FBI had delivered evidence that proved a black man had been kidnapped and lynched in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, yet the Pearl River County Grand Jury failed to return any indictments or even consider the provided information.
Although Griffin found it relatively pleasant in New Orleans, at the train/bus station, his experience was one of pure hatred. The woman who sold his ticket to him, almost would not. She gave him the “hate stare” and when she did finally change his $10 bill, she threw his change and ticket at him, instead of handing it to him or placing it on the counter. Although the depot was large and empty, except for a porter and one white man, that man also gave him the “hate stare” making it obvious he was not welcome. The porter, who was black, showed him to the crowded, COLORED CAFE located behind the depot.
While traveling into Mississippi the black people seemed to become more caring, as if they were a buffer for the hatred from the white folks, this was a common occurrence everywhere Griffin went. When the bus would stop, the driver would allow the white people off but not the black people for bathroom breaks. Griffen noted that farm animals are given more grace. As they came closer to Hattiesburg, a woman was happy to warn Griffen to never look at a white woman, “look at the ground or to the side.” He wasn’t even to look at a picture of a woman at the movie theater or in a magazine.
Another black man advised him of a safe place to stay and offered to check in with him in the morning. Griffen was impressed by his kindness but he was scared. He was intimidated by the white boys driving by and yelling at him and other people on the street. The squalor of the room, the fear he felt, it was so great that he felt he couldn’t even write a letter to his white wife and this led him to reach out to a journalist friend that lived in the area that he thought might take him in.
The journalist was glad to have him. His viewpoint in his writings left he and his family isolated and he enjoyed having Griffen help him with his writing, but Griffen could not rest there, and he couldn’t do what he set out to do there. Before his friend brought him back to New Orleans, they visited Dillard University (November 16). As kind as his friend was to him, he was different around “real” black people: “Did you ever see such a damn beautiful campus for a bunch of niggers? They’re getting uppityer and uppiter.” This viewpoint was shockingly different from the abolitionist and advocate he portrayed in his work and personal life, working for equal voting rights.
This way of making an exception for a black person you know but not the entire race is another way that prejudice can hide in plain sight and I think it still thrives today. I believe fear comes in all colors and if we aren’t willing to look at it and call it what it is, we will never become enlightened.We will remain afraid, small and unable to change.
“The whites frequently walk into colored restrooms, Scotch-tape these notices to the wall. This man offered his services free to any Negro woman over 20, offered to pay, on an ascending scale, from $2 for a nineteen-year-old girl, up to $7.50 for a fourteen-year-old and more for perversion dates. He gave a contact point for later in the evening and urged any Negro man who wanted to earn $5 for himself to find him a date within this price category…To the Negro who sees the element of the white man’s nature — and he sees it much more often than any other — the white man’s comments about the Negro’s alleged “immorality” rings maidenly hollow.” John Howard Griffin, Black Like Me, November 16 excerpt
Believe it or not, this is not the most deplorable example of degrading actions that white men portrayed against black men and women, yet it explains how a black women could feel she is only worthy as a sex object and how men are supposed to use and abuse that part of her, instead of honoring and respecting her. I know that so many people have grown beyond this. I do know that 1960 happened 62 years ago and I see a lot of growth that I am thankful for but I also see where we haven’t changed too. Areas were poverty and crime prevail women and men still violate and dishonor each other every day. It is like the self-hatred has been passed down through generations and gotten stronger.
As Griffen traveled through the South, he often hitchhiked. This was common during this time and he was most often picked up by white men who wanted to fill their sexual deviant minds with questions they thought were acceptable to ask this man because he was black or COLORED as was the term used at the time. One young college man was surprised that Griffen could tell him that black people were parents just like white people and they wanted their children to grow up healthy and remain virgins as long as possible just like white parents. It impressed him, but not enough to stop him from asking Griffen to show himself to him. Another man became violent and threatened to kill him when Griffen would not answer his vile questions.
Money was another way that black people were controlled. Gas taxes paid by all were used to maintain beaches black people were not allowed to use. Stores would offer credit to black families, yet it seemed like fees were always added so that they could never be paid off so the families were always so poor they could barely afford to improve their homes or clothe their children.
One man that picked up Griffen, brought him home with him, he was positive that there was nowhere safe for him to stay for the night. He let him know that he only had 2 bedrooms and 6 children but he could have the floor and it was clean. Griffen had bought a loaf of bread and a few candy bars before he was picked up. When they reached the man’s home Griffen met the man’s wife and children. She was happy to meet him and happy all her children were healthy, she mentioned that many families had children that were blind or maimed in some way, Her husband was a little embarrassed in his meager home and plain dinner of beans with no meat but Griffen praised his beautiful and obviously healthy children until the father beamed. He offered the bread and they enjoyed a feast. They sliced up the candy bars for dessert and were thankful. This experience really made Griffen appreciate how hard this man worked for his family.
Within a week Griffen could no longer handle being black all the time and stopped taking the medication that was keeping him dark. He applied a dye to his skin when he was prepared to enter society as a black man that would wash off when he had had enough. So much of society was shut off to him as a black man. He spent most of his time walking, worrying about what bench or park he could sit in, what bathroom he could use, what fountain he could drink from, if there was a colored cafe nearby where he could get a bite to eat. All of these things were few and far between. In more religious areas, whites were sometimes more gentle but there was always a line that Griffen had to be aware of in order to keep the peace. There were no jobs he could have. They were either taken or being weeded out by communities that were purposely making it impossible for black people to survive there before the equality laws were passed. White men said these things to him like they were telling him the prices of a bushel of apples.
When Griffen returned home, he was overjoyed to see his wife and 3 children but even his publisher offered him an out. He did not have to publish anything about his adventure. But Griffen was committed to sharing what he had learned. With that came what he was expecting. Hatred. Threats. Quiet gratitude. In the end his family and his parents had to move from their Texas home to New Mexico to be free from the violent calls and threats but Griffen remained faithful to his truth and he had gained respect from many people of all colors.
In no way have I shared the entire story. I think you should read this book. I think you will absorb it differently than I did. I am very glad I walked into Storyboard Delights on Karen’s arm last month and found it on the used book shelf. This book has helped me understand a few things about my wife, things that I always loved but made me really respect her even more for, about the way she responds to people. Her humility and servant attitude are skin deep and I know that some of it is learned behavior from being a mixed girl child of the south. Not just black, not just white, not just Native American…with those freckles and too much pride. I know she has lived through trauma and when she is too tired to hide it, I meet a girl that has been hurt. I have a friend that moved to Arkansas and she often tells me I should move there and how much I would love it. I don’t think I would, but more importantly, and I finally told her this: my wife is a mulatto female that worked really hard to leave the south, and although I would like to visit, I don’t ever see us moving there. I think she finally understood.
I live in a town that is 87% white. In Longview, Washington 10% of the population is mixed and all other races are less than 2%. I have been thinking about this for a few days. Actually I have been thinking about this off and on for quite some time because my wife has eluded to it a couple times. I have come to the conclusion that there are lots of reasons people of color would move here. I am glad they did. When I was growing up here, I bet Longview was more like 97% white and I enjoy seeing the diversity. I like seeing change. I made a comment that I don’t care what color a person is, but it is more than that. it isn’t that I don’t care about a person’s color, because what I care about is the person’s heart. I love to learn about their culture, beliefs and who they are. I do think dark skin is more beautiful than white skin but my wife says that is just a preference…I think she is correct.
Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin showed me that there were many types of people: hateful people, enlightened people, and complacent people and they come in all colors. I don’t care what color you are, what I really care about is how open you are to becoming enlightened; letting go of fear and embracing love, peace and freedom. I am not perfect. I can say I probably have a mix of all three characteristics in me, but I hope I am more enlightened than I used to be. I do know that next time someone asks me if I am prejudiced, instead of being defensive or fighting with them, I am willing to saying, “Let me consider that. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”
Buy your own copy of Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 16, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
“You fix your world by fixing yourself first.” Laurie Ruettmann, Betting on You: How to Put Yourself First and (Finally) Take Control of Your Career, 2021
So I won this book as a giveaway on Goodreads and I picked it with my wife, Karen G Clemenson, in mind, over a year ago. It has sat waiting to be read and finally I decided that someone needed to read it and it was going to be me and you know what? I really liked it. I felt like, even if you weren’t interested in working for a corporation, owing a business or evening working outside the home, you could take away useful information to bring more balance to your life. Who doesn’t want more balance and peace in their life?
“Change begins by asking hard questions about your motivation, beliefs, desires, abilities, and limitations. Why do you make the choices you make? What are your values? How can you fix the fixable and let the rest go? What else or who else are you ignoring at the expense of work?
Nobody can answer these questions for you, you probably can’t answer them alone.” Laurie Ruettmann, Betting on You
Putting Yourself First Looks Like:
- Not going to early morning meetings so you can take your kids to school.
- Getting a personal trainer and gym membership.
- Seeing a nutritionalist to learn mindfulness about eating habits.
- Doing small changes to see what works to make you happy.
- Getting more sleep and taking time off when needed.
- Prioritizing self-care.
The statements we make about ourself help others make a reasonable judgement about us, but we are more than our occupation. Many people hide their trauma and abuse behind their work, but you can’t find true fulfillment until you can find healing in your personal life.
Work provides a means to provide but we must also focus on what makes us who we are; what makes us happy, like hobbies, relationships, community and self-care. One way to do this is to create a feeling of professional detachment — staying committed to your job and doing good work but redefining the role so it is not your sole identity.
“Work improves when everybody on a team aligns around a shared set of expectations but remains brave and courageous enough to challenge the status quo as necessary.” Laurie Ruettmann, Betting on You
How to Start a Successful Business/Personal Strategy:
- Realize everything that can go wrong and make an action plan to answer all of those scenarios.
- Visualize what you want.
- Talk to people that do what you wan to to do.
- Work on your self-care.
Harvard Business Review found that employees that learn at work experience less anxiety and stress. This makes a lot of sense to me. I am much happier when I am learning. That is why I love reading and sharing what I learn with you.
Most people cannot afford to just go job hunting and not worry about keeping the one they currently have. The bills must be paid. One thing to remember is that, even if you feel your current working experience has been abusive and taken your soul to the depths of hell, complaining is not going to make it better for you. Longview, Washington is not the only small town and in the business world, every city can seem small. Your current job has allowed you to pay the bills that are currently being paid and you have learned a few things. Even if all you can think about is that you want a new opportunity it won’t help you to sabotage yourself by bad-mouthing your co-workers and boss to anyone who will listen. Trust me your boss hearing every gripe you have about them will not help them tell your next potential boss good things about you when they check references…
How to Look for a New Job While Staying Employed:
- Use personal wifi or anywhere else but work wifi to search for job contacts.
- Make a list of dream companies you want to work for.
- Read company reviews on Yelp, Google Reviews, Trust Pilot and Angie’s List. Use LinkedIn’s search bar to find mentions. Look for ex-employee’s blogs.
- Make contact with anyone you might have met anywhere that works for these complains via phone or personal email.
- Be upbeat and positive and ask open-ended questions.
- If you feel confident in your contact ask them how to apply for a job with discretion. You might even ask for someone you can talk to confidentially.
- If you don’t know anyone that can help you get connected to your dream company you will have to apply online like most people.
- Always stay positive about your current job and boss because chances are word will get to them.
- If your current boss questions you let them know you are still committed to your job, you were just curious about the market.
“…’always be living.’ Go out on a limb, try to learn (at least a little) each day, and always grow from your mistakes. Manage your money, be an advocate for yourself and master the ins and outs of being rejected.” Laurie Ruettmann, Betting on You
Putting yourself first when you are miserable at work doesn’t mean quitting unless you can afford that and most people can’t, financially or professionally. Putting yourself first means listening to yourself and learning why things are going wrong and creating a strategy that answers your professional, personal, financial and emotional needs.
If You Feel Stressed at Work:
- Work fewer hours.
- Learn to say no. Set boundaries and schedule times for administrative, creative, and project work and downtime to rest your brain.
- Get up and go outside for lunch.
- Leave work early and exercise.
- Get more sleep.
- Make sure to get your finances in line and save.
- Go to therapy.
- Quit complaining.
When You Resign from a Job:
- Keep your letter short and sweet. Leave out the 13 reasons you hate your job. Tell them you are leaving and the preferred end date.
- Don’t plan your going away party — but if you do make sure to invite EVERYONE, including your boss.
- Be available for an exit interview — Stay positive.
- Avoid gossip — You found a job with broader possibilities. Leave it at that.
- Refer good candidates to your current company until you leave.
“No journey is easy, no path to success is straight forward, and no life exists without heartache and pain. But your job shouldn’t impede your quality of life, either. So, if you hate work and complain about how its broken, ask yourself, ‘What have I done today to put myself first and finally take control of my career?’” Laurie Ruettmann, Betting on You
You deserve to be happy and feel satisfaction in your life. Many of these helpful hints can translate to working at home too. Stay at home parents and homebound people need time to workout, be creative and pamper themselves too. I really feel like a got reminded of a few things I could do to add more balance in my life and make myself more important while feeling more successful by reading this book. Laurie is an accomplished writer and her writing is easy to read, the chapters are short so you can read quickly between tasks, if you don’t have a lot of time to read and the tempo is upbeat and positive. I highly recommend this book and I am happy I read it.
>>Buy your own copy of Betting on You: How to Put Yourself First and (Finally) Take Control of Your Career by Laurie Ruettmann on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 15, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers
I sometimes feel bombarded. The world has so much pain in it and there is so much to forgive. I recently got into a debate with an unwilling person on Facebook and I feel bad about that. I know they are dealing with a lot of past trauma. They are in the venting mode and lately my newsfeed is inundated with the negative memes and messages they feel they need to share with the world as they tell every bad thing that ever happened to them. I usually can overlook this because I understand they are on their own journey and this part of their path, but I am human too.
I chose to step out of my normal supportive mode and challenge them when they suggested that everyone needed to rush over to Hulu and watch a documentary about the evils of tourism. Something in me had to speak. I had to tell them that I don’t watch every documentary and read every negative thing in the world because I can’t feed the part of me that enjoys evil.
In my past I had many fractured parts of me, a coping mechanism that my brain used to handle the stress of my life and through prayer and therapy I have been able to be healed of most of those fractures, but I had a few that didn’t want to leave. I decided to name them so that I could regain control of myself. One of them, I named Gula, another word for gluttony, because she loves evil and she is never satisfied. Since I named her, she seems to be gone. I love that by telling God I didn’t want to be afraid of her, and giving her a name she lost her power.
I tried to share this with my friend, but I knew they weren’t ready to hear this. I wasn’t surprised when they became defensive and suggested that my resistance to know every evil in the world suggested that not enough people cared and that is why the world could not be saved. I told them that I am not ignorant of the evil in the world, I just meter it out in small amounts that I feel I can handle, and as God tells me. I also don’t believe the world can be saved…
That really got them…
I said it. I don’t believe the world can be saved. I have never read in the bible where the world was supposed to be saved. Jesus didn’t come to save the earth. He came to save the children of God. I told my friend that Jesus had conquered the world and told us to rejoice. I believe my job is to unlearn fear and to try to focus on loving myself and others.
They didn’t like what I had to say…I have noticed that they are missing from my newsfeed. I am wondering if they unfriended me. I really do love them. I just got tired. I hope some day they can forgive me.
I have to remind myself that forgiveness comes in waves and layers. I have been having nightmares lately about people in my past. I wake up in pain because I tense up in my sleep. I wake up and forgive the people in my dreams and myself….in layers and waves. I remind myself that I may have to forgive myself and others any number of times.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Before I fell asleep last night, Karen had the late night news on. We heard updates on the war in Ukraine. I cried as I watched people desperate to know where they would sleep that night. I cried as I saw the food rotting that was supposed to feed people in Africa and the news feed that estimated that over a million people might die around the world because that food would not be dispersed because of Russian blockades. Then we saw an update on the Buffalo shooting in May, where a white man shot 10 black people to protect the white race. This really made me feel sick, especially since I just finished reading Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin that day.
I prayed before I fell asleep and I woke up praying.
I thought about conversations I have had with another friend that likes Trump for president, again and I am so confused. I don’t understand people that say they are Christians that want him for president. It isn’t that he is a republican. Believe it or not I am an independent and I will vote for any candidate with intelligence, fairness and the ability to work with both parties that I think will be a strong leader. I believe that Trump is probably a genius. I also believe that at the very least he too is a trauma survivor and at the most he is mentally ill and addicted to drama and that makes him a poor leader. Although he is highly intelligent, he kept everyone on the edge of their seat every day of his presidency and it took its toll on me. I could never listen to him and when I did, his words were very antagonistic and sometimes plain foolishness. I am not saying that I probably missed some very intelligent speaking but I know the heart of a man is revealed in his speech and I don’t want a leader that I can’t respect leading me.
Proverbs 15:7
The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not upright.
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Luke 6:45
As good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
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Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
I am still praying for Trump, It does me no good to wish hardship on this man that many still listen to. I am praying for myself and my friend too because I don’t like feeling as though I am judging them. I love them. I know they are super smart and a truly loving person. I also know I don’t have to agree with everything everyone says.
Forgiveness is very important and not just for the little things but the things that shake us to our core. We have to look at the things that make us pause and the things that make us feel punched in the chest and decide if we want to be angry or at peace. I want to be at peace. This means I need to be open to seeing other people’s perspective and showing compassion. This world might not be able to be saved, but I can change myself and maybe change situations around myself in the process in love and truth.
Be loved.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 10, 2022 | Life
I recently finished the double book set of A Return to Love and The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson and I have to say it was an inspiring and challenging undertaking. Although I thought I would like the double book idea, in the end, it felt tedious and I am not sure I will jump at the chance to purchase 2 books in one again. However, that does not take away from the life-changing experiences I had while reading the books and I really think that reading A Return to Love and then The Gift of Change is a wonderful way to reinforce the messages in the two books because the 2nd really reinforces the first. Being that love is the most important thing we need to be relearning and fear be the thing we need to unlearn and forgiveness is key to both.
God Never Loses Enthusiasm For Life!
“Every situation comes bearing a gift: a chance to become who we really want to be and to live the lives we really want to live…God never loses His enthusiasm for life, and neither should we.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
The joy of living comes when we stop seeing ourselves as other people see us, forgive ourselves and others and remember we were born with the purpose of being loved and to love.
The ego is an embodiment of our own self-hatred. It has the power of our minds turned against us while it sabotages our hopes and dreams. It keeps us separate from others. It keeps us afraid.
As we accept that we are children of God and practice loving ourselves and others, our ego gets smaller and less important. Remembering we are all connected through our Creator frees us from fear.
We Are All Connected Through Our Creator
We forget who we are because we forget we are connected through our Creator and Source and we can’t serve wealth and our egos and serve love at the same time. When we remember we are connected we know that by harming others, we harm ourselves so we would never do that. We find ourself saying old negative messages about ourself and we need to stop and reprogram ourself:
I am amazing because God only creates perfection. I recognize my immeasurable value, regardless of my mistakes, for which I ask forgiveness for. I am God’s creation and I ask the universe to reflect back to me the greatness of God that is within me.
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“We are trained within this world, to see ourselves as the ego defines us…We are taught to identify with our guilt more than our innocence, and then we feel haunted by mistakes we feel will dominate the rest of our lives; we are taught to blame others more than to forgive them, and then we get stuck in feelings of victimization; we are taught that we are separate from others, and then we fall prey to grandiosity and insensitivity.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
Changing the World Starts With Changing Our Minds
The thoughts we think can bring us joy or fear depending on whether they are positive or negative. Choosing peace and forgiveness will bring our collective mind closer to peace and forgiveness. What we proclaim to be true will seem to be true. We must train our minds to proclaim gratitude and positive thoughts — there is always goodness. Even if you miss the warm sun and are sick of the rain, trees and vegetables needs lots of rain.
How we see ourself is how we see our life and we are responsible for how we experience our life.
“…life isn’t about not having problems, it’s about becoming someone who knows how to do well within problems in a positive way. It’s about taking full responsibility for however we might have contributed to a problem, forgiving ourselves and others, praying for all concerned, and developing faith that God’s miracle is always on the way.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
When we feel stuck it is because we are looking outside and not inside ourselves and holding onto old coping skills. We blame others when we should take responsibility for our lives. We judge others instead of bless them. We close ourselves off instead of being kind and open-minded. When we deal with our issues we are a blessing to those around us.
How can we bless people instead of judge them when they are hurting us, maybe repeatedly? Ask God to show us their perspective. This will help us have compassion. This might still mean we need to limit our time with this person but loving them instead of closing our hearts to them is a good place to start for reconciliation.
“We were born with a natural desire to extend ourselves in love, yet the thinking of the world then trains us to think unnaturally, spontaneous compassion occurs when situations happen so quickly that ego thoughts of fear and separation are bypassed. Ironically, dangerous situations often bring out the natural in people.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
If You Want Peace You Must Have Time with God
Meditation and spending time with God daily is imperative to peace. It increases our spiritual muscle and makes the challenges of life easier. It also strengthens our relationship and reliance on our Creator. 5 minutes at the beginning of the day is vital. The longer you can spend, the easier it will be to live in peace. These minutes can look like lots of things: giving Him your first thoughts before you get out of bed, bible study, meditation, worship with song and dance, random talks with Him, your last thoughts before you go to sleep. Any time you spend with your Higher Power is going to help you stay focused on your goal to forget fear and learn love.
“If you want a miracle in your life, simply pray for one. For as long as you are willing to change your mind, then God will change your life.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
Our ego is supported by our thoughts that have been trained to pull us away from love and abundance so we experience fear and lack. As we trust more and let fear dissolve, we will live the pure life we were made for. But we have to choose to trust our fears to our Maker. God honors our right to choose our fears. Our ego makes us feel strong when we are defensive but that is an illusion. When we are vulnerable before God, His love can flow through us with His spiritual strength. Childlike peace replaces childish projecting.
“To pray, ‘God please take this,’ is an act of empowerment, not weakness…When I remember that God’s power is unlimited, I stop stressing about how limited mine is.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
God Was With You Yesterday But He Is With You Now
God and miracles only happen now. The ego likes to keeps us in the past or future (otherwise known as anxiety) so we can’t enjoy our life now. Living in the past or future is painful because it leaves God out. The past is only connected to the future if we let it. When we let our thoughts and actions become based on yesterday’s circumstances we are giving up our right to change the circumstances. We are also leaving out what we have learned since then.
“Joy can be found only one place at one time: right here, right now. Regardless of where we’re going tomorrow, it’s important to bless where we are and enjoy the fruits of today.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
When we blame others the ego can remind us of our guilt too and keep our self-hatred growing. When we forgive others and ourself and accept our healing and innocence from the Holy Spirit we will find peace. Trusting the Holy Spirit to heal and care for you and others will free you to be full of joy and maybe the person that hurt you too. Maybe it will change the dynamic of your relationship in a good way or maybe it will show you how your path has moved away from this person but you are still able to love as you walk away. Either way you have peace.
“It doesn’t matter what someone said when you were a child; you know now that you’re smart and attractive. It doesn’t matter what happened before; you can rise up now and start over. It doesn’t matter what they did to you; forgiveness has washed you clean.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
To be a miracle worker we must:
- see forgiveness as our function
- give up all our invented personal goals
- avoid self-initiated plans
- know if you are afraid, you are trusting in your strength and not God’s
“It’s time to see miracles in our own lives, to be resurrected from the littleness of our former selves. Through God, these things are impossible. These miracles are available, and they are necessary now.” Marianne Williamson, The Gift of Change
There was so much to absorb from reading The Gift of Change. Believe it or not, these are not all my notes. I learned so much from both A Return to Love and The Gift of Change and many were reminders of many other times I have gone through tremendous growth. These reminders were a gift and made it easy to embrace the messages. It made it easy for me to reaffirm that I want to unlearn my fears and relearn to love and be open to love and forgiveness even when it would be natural for me to close myself off because I feel hurt or scared. I imagine the process of change will require some practice but I am thankful that I am never alone on this path because my Creator is with me always.
Be blessed.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 8, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community
You know when there are times when you say something in passing that leaves others thinking something you didn’t mean, but maybe there is a grain of truth in it too? That happened to me last week. But I would like to take a moment and clarify that I don’t hate Pride Month.
It was just a week ago and my sister, Jamie, sent me a message: Happy Pride Month!
I promptly responded with: Yes. We will be inundated for the month of June. Ugh!
I didn’t mean to be rude or dismissive but it just seems like Pride Months of the past have been times where flamboyant queer people flash their feathers with great gusto and conservative Christians get offended and everything is suddenly about equality and I feel a bit bombarded. But in my every day life I am happily married to my beautiful wife and we live our lives and in our reality being queer is just something we don’t worry about because we are 46 and 57-years-old and it hurts to get out of bed in the morning, its hard to remember if eating the entire egg is healthy or not and I am very glad Xavier woke Karen up because she forgot to plug her iPhone in and her alarm didn’t go off.
But you know what I have noticed that I love? I don’t feel bombarded this year because certain media outlets have gotten better at including trans people and same sex couples in commercials and TV shows (yes it could be better but I am not ungrateful) and people are safer to be proud more naturally and so Pride is what is should be, an every day thing.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain parts of The United State where queer folks have it much harder than they do in other parts of The US. I also know that in Longview, Washington gay men have it harder than queer women and no one knows what to do with trans folks here. I know this. I am sorry. I also know that ignorance and prejudice live everywhere and I regret that too but we are growing and I want to take a moment and praise Jesus that humans are hating each other a little bit less and loving each other a little bit better every day, regardless of what the media wants to force feed us. By the way…the answer to all these situations is to treat every one with respect regardless of how they dress or who they love…
Hype comes in all colors and so I know a little bit about drama and trauma, those terrible rhyming words. As a white, disabled, fat, poor, mentally ill woman from a dysfunctional family I know about prejudice and privilege. But you know what? Walking behind people you learn that other people get it too. I have a friend that was more poor than me and more terribly abused than me growing up, and walking behind her has broken my heart at times. Until she became healed through prayer and therapy, people saw that on her and it seems like she drew abuse out of them. Walking behind my wife blows my mind. I am invisible when we walk up to another black person unless they read that we are married and then I am as black as they are…but when we were first married, we were at a park in Kirkland and the looks she got from a man, wow! He was not enjoying sharing air with my obviously mixed wife and he was Asian. I really don’t understand that, but Karen says that is normal. So it never shocked me when I got the evil eye from the old white guy when I was holding my wife’s hand under the table at a restaurant. Hate comes in all forms and I never asked him what he hated about me. I am not going to worry about it either. I forgave him.
When I growing up I don’t remember a lot of talk about queer folks but I do know that when I looked it up in the bible by myself, I understood it was an abomination. This was hard because I was having feelings about a lady that worked a diner I went to a lot. I didn’t understand those feelings and she enjoyed setting me up to see her with another woman, so I am pretty sure, she felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me uncomfortable so it was really easy for me to shut that part of myself off.
I had always found both sexes attractive so I thought I just saw beauty in all people. My nana had taught me to not waste my affections on people I wouldn’t marry and my pastor had taught me that if a person wasn’t my spouse, they were someone else’s and I should wait for marriage so all these things helped me justify why I didn’t think about people the way my friends did. They were horn-balls! Now I know that I am demi-sexual and so it is normal that I would not be sexually attracted to someone unless I was intimately connected with them emotionally…which explained the very short list…which my wife is very happy about. I am too.
I wish I had waited for marriage. Not for religious reasons but for emotional ones. It is just deeper and safer and better with someone you know wants to be there every day for the rest of your life. Maybe that isn’t important to some people, but it is to me.
I was married for 1 year before I came to terms with the fact that I was queer. I remember telling people that I didn’t feel gay. I just married my best friend. One year in and I had a good cry and talk with God and the main message I got when I asked Him if I should divorce my wife was, “No!” When I asked Him for scripture to back Him up and He said: Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
I said some stupid things that first year. Things I wish I hadn’t said because now I understand I was ignorant and maybe even hurtful to people that hadn’t come out yet. But I have forgiven myself and if I get the chance to step back those statements, I will because I understand now, that I was scared and ignorant. The men in the bible were doing abominable things. They were raping and murdering people out of hatred and control. They were not in loving relationships or even consensual ones. That was the abomination.
Abusing people is never ok. NEVER OK. This is what we should hate. Not a month where we celebrate people that want to be accepted and seen.
I learned a new word today: Heterosexism. It is similar in power to Homophobia but I think it is bigger. The word Heterosexism first showed up in writings by Craig Rodwell, a gay rights activist, in 1971. Heterosexism is a belief that female-male sexuality and relationships are the only norm and that makes them superior. This attitude extends beyond the bedroom, but also in the workplace, medical facilities and every part of society. No wonder people are so offended by Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer.
But back to Homophobia, this term was coined by a straight psychologist, named George Weinberg, in late 1960’s. He was probably self-diagnosing himself, because this term describes someone who is afraid to be in the vicinity of someone who is queer, their culture and behaviors.
I am glad that my fear is going away regarding people. You know who scares me now? Not LBGTQIA+ people. Closed-minded people. People that think it is ok to hurt people for any reason at all. I have met some of their victims and it makes me want to more than pray, but that is what God said to do and I know He listens to my prayers.
If you are hurting and need support for issues related to coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm and more contact LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564
As for me, I am enjoying a quiet Pride Month but I am also enjoying posts from friends that are going all out. I am happy for them. However you are celebrating, I hope you enjoy yourself and know that I know you are valuable and beautiful and loved. Happy Pride!
~
Read More at:
- Definitions: Homophobia, Heterosexism, and Sexual Prejudice by Gregory M. Herek, PhD
- Heterosexism from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia by multiple authors
- Living With Social Anxiety Disorder as an LGBTQ+ Person By Arlin Cuncic, Medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS and Fact checked by Karen Cilli for VeryWell Mind on October 3, 2021
- What is Homophobia? By Arlin Cuncic and Medically reviewed by Aron Janssen, MD for VeryWell Mind on February 8, 2022
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 5, 2022 | Opinions, Prayers
I was shocked to find myself very upset about the end of the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, which I didn’t watch. I am so glad it is over. I avoided it to the best of my ability. I thought it was about money but apparently Amber really did abuse Johnny and that is why he won. When I looked at him I saw a big man that was not able to avoid the abuse or leave before it escalated out of control, consuming him. Yet even while I thought that, I knew that I could easily relate to Amber because I know about being human.
I didn’t watch the Depp/Heard trail because I try to limit negative media for my mental health needs. I took one look at them and I saw drama and trauma and knew their dance would bring nothing positive to my existence. Just because drama and trauma rhyme doesn’t mean they are good together. Besides, I don’t really follow them, I don’t jump watch their movies, and they aren’t part of my life so it was easy to just move on. But as I learn more and more that we are connected, I realize that it might be normal that I would be affected by their pain.
I still don’t know this ex-couple. I will probably google them to make sure I spell Amber’s name correctly but we are all human and being human we are all connected and all capable of fear and love. When I saw trauma on them, it is because I have experienced enough to know that Johnny is not fully innocent and both he and his ex-wife could probably benefit from some form of treatment, at least some great therapy sessions. I think everyone should go to therapy, so don’t think I am picking on them, personally.
I did hear Johnny say that she was very possessive about taking his boots off. It seems weird but I understand this. There are things that I enjoy doing for Karen that are helpful to her, that only I do because she is my wife. There are things that, if I am not medicated and going to therapy to stay balanced that I might become unbalanced about and a bit obsessive about in a way that my responses may not feel so loving.
When I am following my wellness plan, I might still have moments where I am feeling a bit unbalanced. I can remind myself that Karen is perfectly capable and able to care for herself, if I missed my opportunity to care for her and I don’t have a right to feel anger or jealousy towards her self-care. I can tell myself to find something constructive to do until my negative feelings pass. I can do this because my medications slow me down enough to help me make better choices. You see because I have worked hard to be well, and continue to work hard, and am committed to always work hard, I have a peaceful life but if I just made a few different choices, my life could be a mess.
This is the truth. We are all human and we are all just a number of choices away from being like Amber or someone that might even be seen as worse. Why am I telling you this? Because alongside my mental illness, my gift of empathy is a hard one to carry sometimes but I have had to learn to know what to do with it or it will take me out, but it is also a beautiful and wonderful gift. I feel things deeply. I feel my feelings and I feel the feelings around me. This is a gift because I know how to pray. I sometimes know what to say to help someone feel better. I sometimes know to say nothing but just let them know I see them. People feel so alone sometimes.
I implore you to not judge so harshly. Every person who hurts someone, has been hurt. That is how they learned to hurt people. They have trauma that they haven’t dealt with. Maybe you have trauma you haven’t dealt with. Maybe that is the reason that you think you have the right to judge because you haven’t cut someone’s finger off or bit someone, but I tell you one thing…just a few different choices and you could be. Because that is what being human is.
God didn’t make us to carry around out hurts. He didn’t make us to capture all our fears and let our ego get so big that all we can hear is fear. He sent His son to take our sins and open a dialogue between us so that we would feel safe to hand Him our hurts, when we were ready, so we could accept healing and restoration. He gave us therapists, teachers, friends and leaders to help us because He knows that is hard for some of us to trust someone we can’t see. He is here. He is always here, waiting to lighten our load when we ask Him to help us forgive the people who hurt us and ourselves and restore us to the perfect creation He made us to be. He knows it is a process because we have collected a lot of hurts but He is always good and always patient.
I could spend time hashing out what the Johnny and Amber trial means to men and women and abuse victims but in reality someone else will do that. My agenda is about love and forgiveness. What I really want is to tell men, women and non-binary people, children and anyone with a pulse that while it is not ok to be abused and you should never allow someone to abuse you, you should never hold onto that abuse either. Forgive your abuser. Forgive yourself. Make room for healing and light in your life. Let God show you that you were made for love and not fear.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7 NIV
Note: Image found on funhandprintartblog.com.
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | May 25, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions
I bought A Return to Love back when Marianne Williamson was running for president in 2020 but I didn’t get around to reading it until now. I actually think I wasn’t ready to read it until this time in my life and I am really glad I was able to absorb it in this time where I am better able, and trying to forgive more, putting effort into unlearning fear, and learning to love better. I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it to a mature reader and a mature Christian or person who is comfortable in their beliefs.
The book I have is actually two books in one: A Return to Love and The Gift of Change, both by Marianne Williamson. There was so much to absorb in A Return to Love that I chose to do two different book reviews. I haven’t read the second book yet but I will do a separate book review for The Gift of Change when I have completed reading that book.
Marianne begins A Return to Love by explaining that she was raised in a Jewish home and has studied many religions. She also set aside her beliefs for some time and now is a Christian. Although her writing leaves room for any higher power, she refers openly to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as her belief system and some people might be offended by this.
“The spiritual journey is the relinquishment — or unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Commonly throughout the book Marianne writes that people undervalue what we know to be true in our hearts and overvalue the things our physical senses can see. We do this because love is hard to see because love is an energy that is experienced through kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgement, joining and intimacy. Fear is the opposite of love and gives a false testimony to the meaningless of love. Fear looks like anger, abuse, disease, pain, greed, addiction, selfishness, obsession, corruption, violence and war. Love is threatening to our ego because it is simple.
Concepts Discussed in this Book:
- Love is the only reality.
- Fear is the opposite of love.
- Fear is an alternative reality.…no wonder we all feel crazy…
- Forgiveness transforms fear to love.
- Ego wants to judge.
- Holy Spirit wants to accept people as they are and provides room for compassion.
“The places in our personality where we tend to deviate from love are not our faults, but our wounds.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we are angry at people, we are angry because of something they said or did before this moment. But what people said or did is not who they are. Relationships are reborn as we let go of the perceptions of our brother’s pasts. ‘By bringing the past into the present, we create a future just like the past.’ By letting the past go, we make room for miracles.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
All negativity comes from fear. Anger, rudeness, manipulation, cruelty all comes from fear. Forgiveness transforms them all. Pain doesn’t come from the love we don’t give others but from the love we choose not to give. So the answer is to ask the Holy Spirit to change our perspective and help us forgive. When we close our heart in response to other people’s choices we hurt ourself but when we remain able to give love we see a miracle.
According to A Return to Love and my personal experience, the world has taught us to fear. This is unnatural to humans because we were created in God’s image and love is the only real emotion. This is what we have to return to — to live in love and let go of fear. When we are feeling angry or annoyed with people we can confess this to the Holy Spirit, who wants to help us, and we will see the help we need, whether it is more compassion or forgiveness, or whatever is needed in the moment.
Steps to Process Change:
- See my dysfunctional patterns
- Confess and ask God to take them
- Commit to change
“Personal growth can be painful because it can make us feel ashamed and humiliated to face our own darkness. But the goal of personal growth is the journey from dark emotional patterns that cause us pain to those that create peace.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
When someone hurts use we can blow up at them or we can forgive them. Here is a helpful prayer to repeat until you are not longer angry:
“I forgive you _________________, and I release you to the Holy Spirit.”
This is a simple and very powerful prayer because it acknowledges that you know that God loves you and this person and wants the best for both of you. It also proclaims your trust in the Holy Spirit. I have tried this prayer out on many people and even with forgiving myself with some pretty powerful responses.
“…there is nothing we have been through or seen, or done, that cannot be used to make our lives more valuable now. We can grow from any experience, and we can transcend any experience. This kind of talk is blasphemy to the ego, which respects pain, glorifies pain, worships pain, and creates pain. Pain is its centerpiece. It sees forgiveness as its enemy.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Our only real pleasure will come when we do what God created us to do. We must ask Him to help us be an instrument of His peace and use the abilities He gave us to spread love.
“…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Trusting God is like trusting gravity. 2 points to remember:
- God’s plan works
- Mine doesn’t
“It is our humility, our desire to be of service, that makes us stars. Not our arrogance.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
We can only receive God’s plan. If we add anything to it we take away the little that was asked of us. We are only to align ourself with God’s plan. He will make it happen. This is a very anti-world mindset. But it can be done.
“Dear God, I surrender this situation to you. May it be used for your purposes. I ask only that my heart be open to give love and to receive love. May all the results unfold according to Your will. Amen.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Another important concept that is talked about in A Return to Love are that we are interrelated but we have forgotten that because our ego supports a mentality where instead of “we” we talk about “my career”, “my money” or “my life.” But we are not separate. This falsely created separateness leads us to mistake where we put our devotion — our stuff instead of our love, relationships and our higher power.
We hear people say to us to feel our feelings, which is important, but they are usually referring to fear, pain, shame, all the negative emotions, but we also need to feel all the positive ones too: love, satisfaction, joy… The ego does not like positive thoughts and works against them but our natural inheritance is to enjoy the good in our lives, especially if it is small. There is nothing wrong with being too happy.
Love is not just sentimental mush on a greeting card. It is a practiced discipline of defying our ego’s voice. It is relying on the Holy Spirit and focusing on the our capacity to love by training our minds to the habits of loving.
Today’s goal is peace. I should have that tattooed somewhere.
Buy your own copy of A Return to Love and The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson on Amazon
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | May 11, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
I have been sick for a long time. I have many chronic illnesses but the one I am praising God for letting me know about is migraines because since I have been treating them, I have got the gift of being able to read back. In the past month I have read 4 books and I am so excited that I finally got to read this book, which was a gift from my friend Sarah. Traveling Light discovers truths shown to us in the 23rd Psalm. I have read more than one book that talks about this Psalm, written by King David, but I really enjoyed this one. Max Lucado took it slow and broke each part of the Psalm down really well.
Along the way, I was reminded of important lessons, but first I want to take a moment and share the 23rd Psalm:
The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever. (New King James Version)
In this beautiful Psalm, King David tells us who God is, He is our protector and provider, He wants the best for us, He makes plans for us, He is our Healer, and He has chosen us because that is who He is. He knows we will go through terrifying things but He is always with us because He never leaves us. He is our comforter. He blesses us regardless of others. He protects us from injury to our soul. He gives us everything we need right now. He lets us know we are His.
“God is Yahweh — an unchanging God, an uncaused God, and an ungoverned God.” Max Lucado, Traveling Light.
God is who I have always needed because He is the only constant that doesn’t change. Nobody else was able to give that to me, no matter how hard they tried because the earth is unstable, people are messy and life happens — but God who doesn’t have a body can be ever present and has always been present and will always be present was always there to protect and provide the help I needed. I knew that from the moment I met him when I was 5 years old, in my back yard. I was all alone and then I knew I wasn’t alone and I never was again. Was our relationship perfect? No, because I had and have a lot of unlearning to do, but it was and is constant.
“Unfortunately, sheep cannot find safe pasture, nor can they spray insecticide, deal with the frictions, or find food. They need help. They need a shepherd to ‘lead them’ and help them ‘lie down in green pastures.’ Without a shepherd they can’t rest. Without a shepherd, neither can we.” Max Lucado, Traveling Light.
Sheep are stupid and incapable of caring for or protecting themselves. I would never want to be a sheep on earth because I might get a bad or careless shepherd but God is an ever-loving God that never gets tired; with Him as my Shepherd I am proud to be His sheep. He will never lead me in the wrong direction, even when I thought I was hearing Him, but it was actually me, He still made a way to bless me and Himself, because He is a loving Shepherd and Father.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at the appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
I love this verse. It really spoke to me. I have probably read it before but I missed it. But I got it this time. We are so worried about how things look. We are so worried about what other’s think about us. You know what? It only matters what God our Shepherd thinks and He knows how to look at our hearts, where He can see everything: the why’s, how’s, when’s…
All of this worry leads to anxiety and anxiety splits our energy between today’s priorities and tomorrow’s problems. The result is half-minded living.
Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Matthew 6:34
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
It is a waste of time to look to the distant future because God promised a lamp unto our feet, not a crystal ball into the future. We do not need to know the future. We need to trust that God will lead us and provide the grace we need, as we need it. Our shepherd knows what bogs us down and makes us feel lost but He also restores our soul so we can find relief and freedom from stress and anxiety.
While I read this book, I realized I have trapped myself, waiting for something to change in my circumstances for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, God has still been there and protected me, healed me, taught me and loved me, but I let myself feel stuck. Maybe that was part of His plan too. Sometimes God has been known to to shut people down so He can do things in the background…But I am excited to say, “Thank You,” to Him because my circumstance have been exactly what I needed and still are until He decides it is time to tell me to take the next step.
I want to say Thank you to Sarah for this book and if you get the chance to read it, I hope you enjoy Traveling Light as much as I did.
If you want to get your own copy buy Traveling Light by Max Lucado on Amazon.
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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.