Growing Pains

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 13, 2024 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Queer Community

I am watching SEAL Team. It’s a rerun; the one where Jason’s wife is killed by a drunk driver. But this episode is not about Alana, it is totally about Jason. I am amazed to watch Jason’s entire team stop everything to support him. He is their leader but he is in need and they are there for him. They know he can handle war, but not this.

The stressful extended family dreams have made sleep frustrated lately. Every night I pray for them. I ask God to help me forgive them, in case I have missed something. I want them to to be happy. I want them to blessed. I want to be free.

This latest D&C has left me in pain. More than the others. I was told by someone that every time I go through these, there is scar tissue that gets re-traumatized. My oncologist said she was going to cut deeper this time to try to remove all the cancer. It is no wonder I hurt.

I asked for a second day of oxycontin. I have never done that before. I have to admit, I have considered asking for more but what if those pills are instigating some of the bad dreams? I need to get away from being alone, not being loved, heard, seen or valued.

I know it isn’t fair to say I wasn’t loved. I wasn’t loved in a way that felt good. I was needed. I was expected to hold things together. I was required to accept daily abuse and forgive. I was the one who served, regardless of my needs and wants. I was only supported if the other parent was at fault.

It should have got better when we became adults, but it didn’t. I was still at fault, not good enough, only there if I was to serve. No one chose to know me, hear me, or actually love me. I didn’t trust anyone because most people that said they loved me was a liar. They gossiped about me, rejected me and either lied about me or believed lies about me but never spoke to me. I was good enough to care for their babies until they were self-sufficient or their dog but I wasn’t good enough to invite to their day trips to the beach, or visits, school programs or even over for dinner. I wasn’t like them.

I can’t say I miss them. Who wants to drive four hours to be ignored? I miss the idea of the family I always wanted to love me but I am coming to peace with this.

I am definitely not a SEAL Team Member but I had seen people in my family support each other. I personally didn’t know what that felt like after my father left. I was told all my life that because I was fat I would never marry, have a good job and I would probably die young. Every ache and pain was blamed on my weight. When I went to the doctor, I don’t remember what they said but I do know that my parent would tell everyone what they knew. I had no privacy. I stopped going to the doctor.

When I was 25-years-old I started having medical issues but it was hard for me because I was so confused by how I had been raised. Also this was during the 1990’s when psychiatrists were over-prescribing medications and it was not helping me at all. This ended up being an even bigger mess and I still didn’t know I was an abuse victim, although I had kept working with a therapist.

When I was 35-years-old, it finally occurred to me to ask myself what I wanted out of life. I was so used to being told what to do and who to be. Anything I wanted that didn’t align to what my parents wanted was stupid. At this time, all I knew was that I wanted my family to love me.

Three years later, I got really sick. I had just worked with Living Ministries, our nonprofit, on a 24 hour telethon called Christmas Joy Telethon and I got the flu. I hadn’t told anyone that I had a sore on my left leg for 8 years. But this flu caused that sore to take over my leg. I knew I needed to go to the hospital but I wasn’t ready, mentally to go.

My family loves me by bullying me. My youngest sibling brought my nephew over to guilt trip me into going to the hospital. I was so angry. He and I have always had a special bond and I hated that his parent would put their child in this position. I promised him that I had a plan to go, I just needed time to be emotionally ready. I also apologized to him for what the family was doing to him. Of course the family that is closed-minded and doesn’t care what I think, did not care what I wanted, so they called the police and told them I was suicidal.

Soon I had a police officer banging on my locked bedroom door, demanding I come out. They didn’t know my name. They didn’t know anything other than I lived in my mother’s house and the family had decided I wanted to kill myself. I knew if I went with them, I would not get medical treatment. I would be taken to the behavioral sciences floor at PeaceHealth St John and probably isolated. This is not what I needed and I didn’t want this on my record.

God told me to stay calm. So I did.

My brother-in-law was preparing to break the door down. I calmly asked him to not break my mother’s house. Thankfully, he stopped.

I told the police officers, I would not let them in my room but I would open the door. I told them who I was and what was going on. When they heard about the telethon fundraiser for The Salvation Army, they relaxed. They did get me to let Karen G Clemenson in the room and one paramedic. The paramedic had already spoken with Karen. He agreed, when he saw the plain Greek yogurt and steamed broccoli that I was trying to eat that I was probably really concerned about my health and not wanting to die. He took my vitals and although they were a little high, they were not outrageous and the stress of being sick and the situation was a good reason for them being elevated.

I told him I planned to go to Legacy Salmon Creek in a couple of days. I was not interested in going to PeaceHealth St John. The paramedic said that was acceptable but if he was called back he would have to take me against my will. My leg was very swollen. I told him that he would not need to be called.

After I came home from the hospital, I think I felt a bit like Jason after his wife died. Alana had been the one to keep his life at home in control while he was away on special operations all over the world. I had been forced to let go of a lot of the walls I had built around myself to be able to ask for help. That part of me that took care of everyone and took the neglect and abuse didn’t want to do that anymore. I held on for as long as I could because I knew if I made a change, my nieces and nephews could be taken away from me. They were the only ones I had real relationships with. But at some point I had to take care of me. When I told my parents I had to take a break from them, my siblings chose my parents and took their kids with them; just as I expected.

I don’t have a large team. I have my wife, my sister/friend, Jamie Holloway, and one aunt that checks in with me. But I know my team has my back. I have spent the last 10 years learning how to listen to myself, love myself and be who I was created to be. Although I have told my parents I can’t have them in my life until they see therapists, so at least I know they are trying to be better, I doubt that will happen. Their traumas run deep. It is scary to admit the way you have lived all your life is not healthy and work to change it. I know. I have done it and I continue to do it. It is so much easier to say: This is who I am and if you don’t like it, leave — and that is what I did.

There came a day where I realized that one of my siblings had always been emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to me. My parents never protected me. This was their golden child. This sibling has paid greatly for their position, in my opinion. From the outside, they have a great life but they are miserable. So material things and manipulation have made them golden and I have no interest in competing.

It may sound like I resent this sibling, but I don’t. They have done what they need to do to survive. To be successful in a fixed mindset way. They have followed all the rules. Did everything as society told them and they look good. Most of the people I am related to are fixed mindset people.

I am a growth mindset person. I believe I can change and I can become what I want. However, convention had never interested me. I was not able to find success the way the rest of my family was. Probably a lot of that had to do with the chronic illness I live with. That as I learn to live with, I get better, however I have done it without them. When my youngest sibling was diagnosed with MS, we all did a 5K walk to support them. No one cares what I live with.

The siblings did reach out when I told my parents I have cancer. I will give them that. But it had been years with no communication. I just have nothing for them. I can’t carry any of them anymore and I don’t trust them. I have been talked about and set up too many times. I don’t want one more angry phone call, text or letter because they decided I am a monster when I am not, I’m just not the golden child.

There is a scene in this episode of SEAL Team, when Jason breaks all the beer bottles and then beats up the fridge and the garbage can until they are all dented. I can relate to his rage. Even though he scared his kids and he admitted he should not have done it, sometimes you have to let the anger out. Sometimes I have used my writing to vent, but even now, I don’t believe I am doing that. I have told some of these stories before, but not all of the details. I think I needed to share them. I needed to share that I am a reasonable person that has been treated unreasonably.

I can’t go back to how things used to be. I won’t hide my queerness to make one parent happy. I won’t let the other parent judge me when they are not without their own sin. I won’t compete with siblings that were raised by traumatized parents that didn’t have the emotional strength to handle 4 children so they forced us to compete for attention and other necessities.

After these last 10 years, I am used to being loved extravagantly by God and Karen and I don’t want any form of counterfeit. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by God and He has never left me or been shocked by me. He thinks that way about you too. I have my story. You have yours. God does not change.

I can’t worry about why my extended family thinks I wrote about them. Unfortunately, just because they ignored me and rejected me regularly, I was still there. This is my life I am writing about. I loved them. I gave to them because I wanted everything to be good. I sacrificed so much. There were teachers that would have helped me find a new home if I would have asked, but I knew I was needed at home while one parent worked and the other was off making a new family and was never there.

I knew mental illness was in my house but to this day there are working United States citizens that can’t afford health insurance so they don’t get the help they need and this is disgusting. A healthy workforce can pay more taxes and buy most stuff, let alone raise healthier children that will grow up and do the same. This makes so much sense to me as a former child of a single parent.

I was raised in a time when we didn’t know that kids could have chronic migraines. Fibromyalgia is still relatively new. Neurodivergence—OMG! How could my parents even deal with my anxiety disorder and depression when one was living with their own untreated mental illness and the other doesn’t believe mental illness is real?

Do you see how I had some short-comings? I have overcome so much! I understand how these things were missed. I am so thankful I know about what is going on inside my body now and I have a medical team that is helping me. They even agree that my wight is not my number one issue — however we now know that I have always been insulin resistant, even before I was diabetic, so diet, exercise and medicine are working for me.

In some ways, I feel sorry for my extended family because I am getting so much better, smarter, kinder, more patient and overall more interesting and compassionate. But I can’t share this with them because life is what it is and people make their own choices. I don’t come from people that forgive; themselves or anyone else. They seem to think I owe them apologies, but you don’t ask children to apologize for crying when they have growing pains and what I have done is just make space for me to grow.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Learning About Methotrexate

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 12, 2024 | Fuel Your Wellness

Methotrexate is an oral medication, available in a solution or a in a tablet, used to treat several illnesses. I take methotrexate to address Psoriatic Arthritis and Osteoarthritis. I believe I began taking methotrexate in 2015. I also take folic acid to avoid side effects from this drug. Methotrexate belongs to a group of medicines called antineoplastics that interfere with the growth of cancer cells it also used in treatments as an immunosuppressant for auto immune diseases. Methotrexate is often the first drug that doctors try with people with arthritis (in much smaller amounts than for treating cancer) to slow down the damage from inflammation in the joints. I am lucky. This drug works for me and I haven’t had to move on to other medications with more side effects. Many people can’t take this drug.

Methotrexate is used to treat the following medical conditions:

Cancer: breast, head, head and neck, lung, blood (acute lymphoblastic leukemia or all), bone, lymph node (mycosis fungoides, relapses or refractory non-Hodgkins lymphoma) or uterus cancer
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Severe Psoriasis
Lupus
Multiple Sclerosis
Polyarticular Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis
Vasculitis
Eczema

Methotrexate is not recommended for use for children, or women that are breastfeeding, as it is harmful to infants. Also it is recommended that when having specific vaccinations or medical procedures that your doctor will ask you to pause your dose of Methotrexate for a time being as Methotrexate might cause an unwelcome reaction between the vaccine or slow down the healing process after your procedure. It is important to let your doctors know you are taking Methotrexate because how you take other medications or if you can take other medications, including NSAIDS and PPIs, will be affected.

It is not recommended that you drink soda, alcohol or smoke cigarettes while you take Methotrexate. Your doctor will also need to require lab work every two months to make sure your liver and kidneys are not being negatively affected by Methotrexate. Because Methotrexate can increase the risk of liver problems, check with your doctor if you have pain in your upper stomach, pale stools, dark urine, loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting, or yellow eyes or skin.

Make sure to follow the directions your doctor has given you on how to take your medication. If you have missed a dose, make sure to check with your medical professional until you are used to your medication and how it affects you. Effective birth control should be used while using this medication. If you think you are pregnant, make sure to contact your doctor right away.

Methotrexate may cause serious allergic reactions. Contact your doctor if you are experiencing:

Anaphylaxis
Rash
Itching
Dizziness
Fainting
Fast Heartbeat
Trouble Breathing or Swallowing
Chest Tightness

Methotrexate may lower your bodies resistance to infection. So you may not want to spend time with people that are knowingly sick. Also washing hands is important. Methotrexate can also make you more sensitive to the sun. Wearing a hat, eye protection and sunscreen is important. Do not use sunlamps and tanning beds.

There are tons of side effects. Make sure to read them on the link to the Mayo Clinic article listed below if you are interested.

Commonly there are some gastrointestinal issues that come with taking this medication. I have found, for me, that making sure I have a hearty breakfast before I take my weekly dose was what I needed. I already eat a diet that is anti-inflammatory and free of junk food. I don’t drink soda, juice, caffeinated beverages and alcohol and I quit smoking almost 20 years ago. I also exercise every day. All of these components help to give me a better quality of life. Many of the side effects that may come with this medication also come with other medications I take and I like not hurting. I notice when I have to miss a dose.

If you are needing help creating a Wellness Plan that works for you, please Contact Wellness Works NW at 360-447-8061. Karen G Clemenson is a very caring and authentic person and she is looking forward to talking with you and helping you define your Wellness Goals and strategies. I hope this article answered questions you had and was easy to understand. If you would like us to write about a particular topic that you can’t find on this site, please send us an email on our Dear Jamie page and someone from Our Team will be glad to research and write about your topic.

During the beginning of this biblical fiction book, King David’s favorite wife, Abigail, died after giving birth to their third child and King David was very distraught. He stayed behind from a battle and eventually met Bathsheba on her roof. They were both attracted to each other, but they stayed away from each other, knowing they were married.

Still depressed, King David, stayed back from another war. His wives quarrels had become too much for him, Abigail had often been the peacekeeper. King David and Bathsheba kept bumping into each other until one night he sent for her.

In all the four years Bathsheba was married to Uriah, she had never conceived. Bathsheba had grown accustomed to the idea that she was barren. However one evening with the king brought forth a child. When Bathsheba told the king, he called Uriah home from war and suggested that he go home to his wife. After two nights, Uriah stayed faithful to his men at war and slept at the castle’s front gate with the guards. He did not want to fail his men.

Knowing that by the time Uriah returned from war, the pregnancy could not be covered up and the consequences for adultery was death, King David ordered Uriah the Hittite to the front line, where certain death came. After the allotted time of grieving, King David took Bathsheba as his bride.

The birth of David and Bathsheba’s first son brought the attention of Nathan the profit with a message from God. The truth was revealed and David repented. God forgave David and Bathsheba but He took their first son. God also said that sword would never leave his house, while he was alive.

Years later, after David and Bathsheba had know the forgiveness of God for their forbidden romance and raised their 4 sons, King David announced his son Solomon as his successor. He had never know war and was the one to bring peace to Israel. King Solomon would go down in history as being able to do things that King David would never have been able to do.

Bathsheba by Jill Eileen Smith is #3 in a three part historical fiction series of the Wives of King David: Michal, Abigail and Bathsheba are wonderful novels. Each book is powerful and can stand on their own. Michal, telling about David in his youth and running from King Saul. Abigail tells of King David as his kingdom is established. Bathsheba shares about his last years. King David was a strong and passionate leader and these three of many wives helped him in so many ways. I highly recommend these Christian fiction books on their own or as the series.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Bathsheba by Jill Eileen Smith on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Bathsheba by Jill Eileen Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Bathsheba by Jill Eileen Smith showcases the humanity of King David and Bathsheba and the love and mercy that God offers for His own pleasure and purpose. I found myself having compassion on both characters because there was so much sadness and loneliness around them. I could understand how they might have been able to cling to each other, even though they had their own spouses. Among the pain there is growth and forgiveness and that is the theme of life. I truly enjoyed the Wives of King David series, this book being #3. I highly recommend this fiction book to anyone that likes to read, even if you are not a Christian.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: Abigail by Jill Eileen Smith

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 2, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Abigail by Jill Eileen Smith is an amazing historical fiction novel based on the story of King David in the bible. Abigail was David’s third wife, but before she was King David’s wife, she was betrothed to Nabal, a cruel, rich man who had inherited debt owed to his father, by Abigail’s father. Both Abigail’s father and brother worked for Nabal and Abigail was promised to him as soon as she was old enough to marry.

The marriage was filled with abuse and infidelity but Abigail was honorable to her husband in order to honor God. When David’s men protected Nabal’s livestock and required some pay, Nabal refused. Knowing this would not end well, Abigail ordered her servants to pack mules with provisions and she met David on his way to seek revenge. David respected how Abigail honored him and was thankful for the payment. There were mutual feelings on both sides at their first meeting.

As Abigail tried to tell her husband how she had saved his life and corrected his mistake, Nabal was about to strike her, but God would not allow it and struck Nabal down, who died a few days later. When David found out, he asked permission from Abigail’s father, who had joined his camp earlier, for her hand and once he agreed, David offered to marry Abigail, knowing that a woman without a husband in Israel at that time was powerless, Abigail accepted.

Abigail knew she was David’s third wife and knew he would probably take more wives. She truly loved David and he truly loved her. David even admitted, he wished he had met her first, so she could be his only wife. Her love for the Lord and her wisdom were a great comfort to him. Out of all his wives, she was the easiest confidant and support.

But sharing King David was a true test of her strength and devotion. It was hard to bear the other wive’s complaints and to share his time among them and their children, but with God’s help they made it work.

Abigail is number 2 in the 3 part biblical fiction series of The Wives of King David. I can’t really compare this book to the first one: Michal. Abigail is it’s own story. Both books are wonderful in their own ways. Whether you are a Christian or not I believe that this story of romance and war is compelling and worth the read.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Abigail by Jill Eileen Smith on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Abigail: A Novel (The Wives of King David) by Jill Eileen Smith (2010) Paperback by Jill Eileen Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Abigail by Jill Eileen Smith is number two in a 3 part Christian Fiction series about The Wives of King David. Abigail was King David’s third wife and probably his favored because of her love for the Lord and her wise ways. She came to him while he was still living in the wilderness, hiding from King Saul’s murderous hunting and rose with him to the pinnacle of his success. The story of Abigail is full of history, romance, war and everything in between. I really enjoyed this book.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: Michal by Jill Eileen Smith

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 31, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Michal by Jill Eileen Smith is biblical fiction and based on history as found in the bible; the story of the rise of King David.

Michal wasn’t sure how to pray but she was not alone and Adonai led her through to repentance.

Michal was the youngest daughter of King Saul, the first king and once powerful ruler of Israel. But as Saul stopped honoring the Lord Most High, his success waned and he was known to have fits of madness. Only the music of David could soothe him. But there was word that David had been anointed as the next king by Samuel the priest and this hurt King Saul’s pride. He wanted his son to be king. But even Jonathan, the king’s son was willing to honor God’s will. As King Saul’s madness progressed he was willing to do anything to keep David away from the throne. However, Michal loved David and she did become his first wife. But as King Saul sought to kill David, he had to leave his bride behind as he fled. They were separated for 17 years before David could take his place on the throne and reclaim her, but much had changed for both of them.

I was so into this historical fiction book, I read all 382 pages in one day. I simply couldn’t put down the book. I highly recommend this novel on romance and war and everything in between to anyone that likes to read, especially if you enjoy Christian Fiction.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Michal by Jill Eileen Smith on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Michal by Jill Eileen Smith
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Michal is a book about romance and war and life lived as the daughter of a king driven mad with jealousy while being the wife of the future king. Michal has a life of loss that has turned to bitterness but in the end she learns to turn to God for forgiveness and freedom from all the pain.

Michal by Jill Eileen Smith is an action packed book that keep the pages turning for me. This is not the first book by Smith that I have read and I look forward to reading more. I highly recommend her books to anyone that likes to read.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: The Last Black Unicorn by TIffany Haddish

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 30, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

I am sitting here and thinking about how I can really honor The Last Black Unicorn by TIffany Haddish. This autobiography is for adults. Your kids might want to read it but you might want to read it first because Haddish has had a challenging life and she doesn’t hide any of it, not the complexities of being black, homeless, female, abused or any other detail about her life as she shares her memoir of how she built her life from being an unwanted foster kid to being celebrity. Comedy is Haddish’s saving grace and what keeps her healthy. It is how she has made it through most of the hardest parts of her life. In high school she had the opportunity to meet Richard Pryor and he told her to always have fun and that advise has really paid off. This nonfiction biography is filled with pain, growth, but also humor and beauty as Haddish learns to value and trust herself.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Last Black Unicorn by TIffany Haddish on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I have always enjoyed Tiffany Haddish in movies and in interviews. She is so authentic. This book is honest. She has had a hard life but she always chooses to have a good time. She has overcome a lot and worked hard to be where she is and this book tells how she did it. It was an easy read because you didn’t want to put it down. Haddish is an amazing and resilient woman.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Forgiveness is the Best Gift Ever

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 29, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

Rumination is probably my best unconscious sport. I bet if I went to the Olympics I could bring home a gold metal for ruminating. I don’t mean to. I have OCD and PTSD and Anxiety Disorder and between those three disorders sometimes I am stuck in the past, trying to fix the outcome of events or I am stuck in the future worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. I don’t always realized I am doing this until I notice that my muscles are tensing and I am feeling angry or frustrated. Lucky for me, God is always with me and God loves the people I am fixated on, more than I ever could. As soon as I realize where I am at, I pray for the people in my mind and ask God to forgive me, and them, and to bless us both with a good night’s sleep, and I agree with whatever God is doing in their lives that brings God pleasure. Forgiveness is the best gift ever!

This week the opening act for the Olympics gave us a perfect opportunity to see where asking questions and being slow to anger is necessary. I don’t know Greek history but I do know the bible. When people were posting their half screen shots of the performance of the celebration of the Greek gods beside the painting of the Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci with angry comments poised at France and the performers, it was short-sighted. One, the celebration of the Greek gods was not the same thing as the Last Supper in the bible. Two, the painting by Leonardo da Vinci, although is attractive and a show of great talent, is incorrect as well because Jesus and His disciples are Jewish and not white. Their skin should be brown and their hair would never be blonde. Three, before we spend our energy getting angry at things we don’t understand, we should always ask questions and pray before we accuse anyone. This scenario is the perfect place where forgiveness and mercy are necessary.

When I was growing up I didn’t like my grandpa Clemenson. I had several reasons. Some of them were probably based in my neurodivergence, which we didn’t know about. I am sensitive to energy and noises. My grandfather had a powerful authoritarian energy that didn’t do anything for my relationship and success motivated personality (but I only like to compete with myself). He also had a very loud voice and made loud noises that startled me. He made me nervous. I also didn’t like hugging him because of where he would put his hands. I was angry that I knew that my father had been abused as a child by both his parents and was, in fact, the scape goat and endured more abuse than most of his 8 siblings and finally moved out when he was 14 years old. I know that things changed after my grandfather stopped drinking. It was easier to forgive my grandmother because she was always caring for everyone. It was easier to see that she loved my father. When my grandfather died, I read his obituary and he did some amazing things. There were many things to respect about my grandfather. He was a very hard worker. He married my grandmother when she was pregnant and raised another man’s child, as his own. My grandparents helped a lot of the neighborhood children with housing, clothes and food. My grandparents were married for almost 50 years; he died before their anniversary. These are all honorable things. I have also learned many things from my Aunt Elaine. She has many great stories about him, where he was kind and gentle, that I would never have known about.

I am writing about this because I was surprised to have him come visit me in a dream last week. I am used to Grammy and Grandma Clemenson and Nana coming to see me, but I have never had Grandpa Clemenson come to see me ever, until last week. He was young, like in some of the pictures Aunt Elaine has shown me, he was slim and had hair. He was softer and calmer too. I don’t remember exactly what he said but it was something like: You don’t know the whole story. You only know your side of my story and your dad’s story. I felt like he was trying to tell me about my dad.

I feared and disliked my grandfather so much that I went by a made up last name in my 20’s. It took me a long time to forgive and let go of things I can probably never completely understand. But I did. With the help of God and therapy, I was able to begin to accept healing for myself and even my ancestors. My grandfather coming to see me was a reminder of how far I have come. I am thankful for that dream. It is nice to have a non stressful moment with my grandfather.

I also know that there are things I will never know about my father. I have forgiven him for a lot. I don’t see us changing though. I have tried so hard to have him in my life, but his traumas are still right on his sleeve. I don’t require perfection but I do require attempts and he will not see a therapist. We are wired the same and I think we could build a relationship because we really can, not talk about topics that trigger us but his wife won’t let that happen. Now that I am married, I understand that I can’t ask him to leave her behind, if he were to come for a visit. She will still be there. I can’t have her in my life.

Forgiveness sets us free from the past. It lets us move forward but that doesn’t mean we can go back. Mercy is for moving forward. The difference between artistic expression on the television and family is that one is for a moment and we can turn it off or walk out of the room and make a cup of tea while it plays out. It is easy to ask questions for clarification and within a few days people will answer all your questions. You don’t have to spend one second being angry or having any feelings that are a waste of time. When people we love hurt us, it is a bigger situation, especially if they keep doing it over and over and you have tried to peacefully make it stop and that hasn’t worked. But in reality the response is the same. When we feel wronged, we must forgive. Forgiveness is definitely the best gift ever. And when we are beat up and tired and don’t know how to get up and keep going, that is when mercy comes in and shows us that we are not alone and we don’t even have to get up on our own. That is God.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 26, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg takes place between 1924 and 1988. It is a compilation of stories told by Mrs. Ninny Threadgood to Evelyn Couch when she comes with her husband to visit his mother at Rose Terrace Nursing Home. Evelyn is not welcomed by her mother-in-law so she finds herself visiting with a lively lady; Mrs. Threadgood, who loves to tell her about the amazing stories of Whistle Stop, Alabama, where she grew up and would like to return, as soon as her roommate Mrs. Otis gets comfortable and can handle her leaving.

For years, Fried Green Tomatoes has been my favorite movie. People have always told me that it was a queer friendly movie and I never saw it. But I have finally purchased the book and the book is now one of my favorites. Idgie (one of the main characters) was a lesbian and her mother knew it and if it bothered her, she didn’t let it show. She loved her daughter. she had a suit made for her to wear to her sister’s wedding instead of fighting her over a dress. When she saw that Idgie loved Ruth, she announced it at the family dinner table and sent the kids away for laughing at her. When Ruth came back to be with Idgie, leaving her abusive husband, pregnant, Idgie’s father gave her $500 to buy a business to support her family. To have the love and support from their family and community must have been amazing.

The nice thing about books is they have time to develop characters that movies don’t and even though it is fiction, I love how Flagg showed us the depth of each character and even brought us to the end of their life. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe is a classic contemporary story of love, empowerment, humor and southern flare. It is properly based in a historical fiction setting that is interesting all on its own but also relevant to all female literature readers as well. The book has everything in it to keep the pages turning mystery, murder, social injustice and lots of friendship. I highly recommend this book to anyone!

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I LOVE THIS BOOK! I have seen the movie several times. It is one of my favorites but the book, as always, has caught my heart and will be on my shelf for when I need to go to a more simple time. Fannie Flag wrote a masterpiece about topics that are not always easy to talk about but she did it so smoothly that I was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. People had always told me that two of the main characters, Ruth and Idgie were a couple, but I didn’t think they were more than great friends. The movie was not specific enough for me, but the book was blatant and I needed that. The entire book takes place between the 1920’s and the 1980’s while Mrs. Threadgood, a resident at the home where Evelyn Couch’s mother in law lives, tells Evelyn about her life in Whistle Stop, Alabama. Through the powerful stories, their relationship brings Mrs. Threadgood a new friend and helps Evelyn come to terms with middle age, menopause and herself. I could hardly put this book down!

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 25, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Descriptions of cultural, racial and physical differences that note “otherness,” these may also include wealth, class and gender; these differences are used to identify an outsider in order to define one’s self. Othering is only taught by example. We want to own and govern the other because of the emotions they provoke in our own self. When strangers walk away from us they sometimes take our good opinion of ourself with them.

These are all ideas that I pulled out The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison a Black author, known for her stories and essays on feminism, race, social justice and history. Morrison is a highly intelligent artist that writes fiction novels but weaves in nonfiction and deep cultural meaning into all her work. Her philosophy is to engage her readers in as much reality or purpose as they can bear.

The Origin of Others is a short but powerful read. I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Toni Morrison has always fascinated me and this book did not disappoint. The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison is about race and how people create “others” because of the emotions they created in our own self. Morrison talks about how she uses these concepts in her books and how she felt her readers responded to them. It is a short but honest read.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

5 Books for July 2024

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 24, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

The best times I had as a kid were under the apple trees in my back yard. I would steal my mom’s old sheets and find some string or yarn and make a tent and live in there until I had to come out. When I wasn’t doing my doll’s hair I was reading. It was a great way to find shade and let my imagination run wild. I hope you are finding times with your kids making forts and reading piles of books. It is the best way to take adventures without going anywhere, especially when parents have to work and kids need something to do. I hear Longview Public Library has some great programs this summer too! Now for our 5 books for July 2024:

The Grouchy Lady Bug by Eric Carle

The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have to admit I was a little grumpy when I started to read The Grouchy Lady Bug by Eric Carle and the art in this colorful children’s picture book really cheered me up. The grouchy lady bug has terrible manners and big emotions and feels like fighting but can’t seem to find the perfect animal to fight no matter where she goes on her adventure. This great classic family fiction book talks about time, size, shape, mathematics and manners and is even a board book so it can be washed a bit, making it a perfect story time book.

This is definitely a book to read again and again. In fact, apparently I read and reviewed this book last summer too! 🙂

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Grouchy Lady Bug by Eric Carle on Amazon.

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A Picture for Harold’s Room by Crockett Johnson

A Picture for Harold’s Room was written in 1960 by Crockett Johnson. It is a wonderful adventure story as Harold, wanting to create a picture for his room imagines an entire world where he becomes very large and also very small. This fiction children’s classic is the perfect pace for family story time before bed while Harold explores and explains the fantasy world he creates in this picture book. I really enjoyed it.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of A Picture for Harold’s Room by Crockett Johnson on Amazon.

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Dandelion by Don Freeman

Dandelion by Don Freeman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Dandelion by Don Freeman is a story about a lion that is invited to a party and wants to change his look but his friends like him the way he is and don’t recognize him. This classic fiction book is full of different animals who all help Dandelion with his day of fashion or enjoy him at the party after they finally let him in. I think this picture book is a little short-sighted because no one lets Dandelion explore his new look but only likes him when he stays the same. Sometimes that happens in real life so maybe this book also brings value to story time.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Dandelion by Don Freeman on Amazon.

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Even Fairies Fart by Jennifer Stinson

Even Fairies Fart by Jennifer Stinson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Even Fairies Fart by Jennifer Stinson is a colorful children’s fantasy picture book that reminds us that no one is perfect. We all color outside the lines sometimes or make mistakes and it is ok. With wonderful words that rhyme, Stinson uses poetry to liven up story time with fiction that is as real as true life and farting. The illustrations by Rebecca Ashdown add humor and aid our imagination to take us to fun places. I recommend this book.

I got this book from my own personal collection. You can get your own copy of Even Fairies Fart by Jennifer Stinson on Amazon.

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Layla the Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish and Jerdine Nolen

Layla, the Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Layla is about to start school for the first time and she is a little nervous. She has spent all her life in the Overlook Woods with her animal friends and that is where she is comfortable. But as fall comes, it is time to go to school at Unicornia with all the other unicorns. Layla the Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish and Jerdine Nolen us a fantasy children’s story about learning how to find your way in a new place. This fiction picture book is brought to life by illustrations by Jessica Gibson. This book, about how our differences can be our strength, will be a great addition to your story time.

View all my reviews

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Layla the Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish and Jerdine Nolen on Amazon.

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I had a great time reading this books. Let me tell you, it was what I needed to get my mind off of politics!

Be Blessed!

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Weakless Week June 2024

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 12, 2024 | Fuel Your Wellness

This article was originally posted on Wellness Works NW on June 28, 2024. I have been in a bit of a rut lately and letting my self-care get a little lackadaisical. While I was scrolling on Facebook I saw an advertisement by Jason Seib for Weakless Week June 2024 and thought this might be what I needed. It was. I didn’t get too deep into researching Seib but from what I can tell, he is a personal trainer that helps people change their thoughts in order to change their lives. He offered membership to a closed group for a week, 5 days of videos where he gave tools to help people change how they think and in the end you can join another closed group for a monthly fee. The first week and group was free. (more…)

5 Books for June 2024

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 28, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

It is officially summer time and the kids are home. There is no better reason to be reading children’s books. I hope you are enjoying time in any book you enjoy but if you have kids, there is no better time than time spent reading with your kids. When you read to kids to teach them that learning and loving is important, you encourage communication too and that is so important. With out much further ado…here are our 5 Books for June 2024.

Harold’s Circus by Crockett Johnson

Harold’s Circus by Crockett Johnson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Harold’s Circus by Crockett Johnson is an amazing adventure for Harold as he draws his way through his visit to the circus. With humor he tells us about the animals and dogs, clowns and even the treats in this fiction children’s classic. Harold is endearing and charming and provides many ways to talk about all kinds of things in this picture book. Harold’s Circus is an outstanding addition to any family story time.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Harold’s Circus by Crockett Johnson on Amazon.

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Curious George Rides A Bike by H.A. Rey

Curious George Rides a Bike by H.A. Rey
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

George is a little monkey that is known for humor and getting himself into adventures and Curious George Rides a Bike by H.A. Rey does not disappoint. It is George’s 3rd anniversary with the Man in the Yellow Hat and he has given George a beautiful bike as a gift. While his friend finishes work, George explores the town in this picture book and finds ducks and other animals at the zoo. In this fiction children’s classic, George even gets to play a part in the zoo performance that night. This story book is super fun!

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Curious George Rides a Bike by H.A. Rey on Amazon.

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Walter the Farting Dog Banned From the Beach by William Kotzwinkle, Glen Murray and Elizabeth Gundy

Walter the Farting Dog: Banned From the Beach by William Kotzwinkle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Walter always makes me laugh and the fact that his family loves him in spite of his terrible gas is very endearing. Yet not everyone can, as seen in this fiction family story, Walter the Farting Dog Banned From the Beach by William Kotzwinkle, Glen Murray and Elizabeth Gundy.

First Walter is banned from the beach and then he is banned rom the village because of his bodacious farting but it is that same gargantuan gas bombs that ends up saving the day, finding buried treasure and helping the family afford their own private beach house where Walter is free to fart and not be condemned.

The illustrations by Audry Colman make this story book even more hilarious! I highly recommend this book that is exploding with humor!

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Walter the Farting Dog Banned From the Beach by William Kotzwinkle, Glen Murray and Elizabeth Gundy on Amazon.

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The Tale of Three Trees: A Traditional Folktale Retold by Angela Elwell Hunt

The Tale of Three Trees : A Traditional Folktale by Angela Elwell Hunt
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Tale of Three Trees: A Traditional Folktale retold by Angela Elwell Hunt is a beautiful children’s fiction picture book. Based on religion folklore, the story tells us how three trees grow up to become tools that serve Jesus through His life on earth. The illustrations by Tim Jonke are stunning and really bring the book to life. This is a special story to add to any book collection.

I got this book from my own personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Tale of Three Trees: A Traditional Folktale retold by Angela Elwell Hunt on Amazon.

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Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett is a fun family story filled with humor and fantasy, told by a grandfather to his grandkids about a place called Chewandswallow where all the food came from the sky. This was a great place to live until it got out of hand and everyone had to escape for their lives. This children’s fiction picture book is brought to life by illustrations by Ron Barrett. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs will make any story time more tasty!

View all my reviews

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett on Amazon.

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I had so much fun picking out these book. I hope you enjoyed reading the reviews. If you want to hear about any books you have heard about please send me a message with the form below and I will make sure to try to find that book.

Be blessed.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 20, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

My first experience with Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert was as a MP-3 that an acquaintance put on my iPod when the book first came out. I don’t generally listen audiobooks but I did enjoy the nonfiction travel biography, as read by Gilbert, herself. I saw the movie and really enjoyed it. I recently bought a copy of the book and decided it was time to read this travel memoir myself. I have gone through a lot since this contemporary autobiography was first published in 2006 and this book was fascinating.

Eat Pray Love is not an easy read, if you are a reader like I am, that really internalizes what I am reading, empathizing with the characters in the book. There is a lot that Liz goes through as she deals with the end of her marriage and then embarks on the adventure of finding herself while she travels through Italy, India and Bali in order to find what she has lost inside herself. Her search through religion and spirituality and emotional wellness through prayer among cultural experiences takes great strength. In the end Liz finds the peace she has been missing and even some romance.

I find this book to be a very powerful book to add to any collection.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It doesn’t matter how many times you have read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, you have to be ready to read it. This book is not a light read; it is a life changing read. In this nonfiction memoir Gilbert takes you through Italy, India and Bali while she discovers what she has lost in herself and if you are like me, you come with her and you change too.

This is a book you don’t just read one time. It is a book you buy and you keep it on the shelf to read as you grow in yourself so that as you find yourself at new places in your life you can go on a journey and measure once again.

View all my reviews

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Sometimes Yesterday Is Right Now

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 18, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers, Queer Community, Wellness

I got triggered by Father’s Day. I didn’t realize it was Father’s Day before I went on Facebook and saw all the great posts everyone had for their dads. I write about my journey to celebrate my steps and share what I have learned with others that might benefit from my path. I have PTSD and sometimes yesterday is right now but I have new tools.

The episode didn’t actually start on Sunday but had started earlier. Pride usually reminds me of several things that make me feel loss and I work through them. I assume that most of my extended family doesn’t even realize how their actions have affected me and how my mind has created connections through Pride Month; it only makes sense to me and isn’t even fair to include them so I forgive because it isn’t anything they actually did. But the tenderness was already there when I saw the pictures of women with their dads, dancing, fishing, doing puzzles, gardening, cooking or any other relationship building activity.

The most recent reason my extended family is not in my life is that when I needed answers, no one could give me answers that made me feel peace, joy, safety and loved so I left them behind me. I never had success when I was around them so I needed to leave them. Love was not enough. It is my fault I am not in their lives. It was my choice. I do not choose to bad mouth them. They are successful with each other. I was the one that didn’t fit. I found other people that had no problem with my needs.

This truth does not erase my history. I still have PTSD. Once I realized that the emotions I was feeling were not reliable or even recent, I needed to listen to them before they leaked out on an innocent bystander. By the time I was really aware of them they were a big red ball of emotions, mostly anger and hatred toward two people. I have forgiven them so many times. These things are old. I was sitting with God, knowing that I had already forgiven these things. I knew I didn’t hold this against them anymore. My goal was peace. So I began reminding myself of what is true today: They are just people. They are not perfect. They have their own traumas. They have done the best they could. They don’t benefit from my anger and hatred.

I felt the ball of emotions begin to shift as I reminded myself that I don’t want this. I don’t benefit from these emotions anymore. I want them to do well. I want them to be blessed. I want them to have a good life. I want God to love them.

I am going to be honest. I don’t like one of them. It took me almost 30 years to be honest with myself that I hated them. I had to say that so I could forgive myself for that hatred. I don’t hate them anymore but I don’t trust them and I don’t like them and I refuse to have them in my life. It is hard to be loving toward someone you feel that way about. But removing my emotions, I know that my anger and hatred does not benefit anyone that they are around that I love. Those emotions don’t help me either.

The ball of emotions had become very manageable.

It is not always easy to forgive or pray for the people in our past. But it gets easier. It isn’t about those people that once had so much say in our lives. It is about letting them go so we can have peace.

This is a hard article to write. There is a part of me that still wants to tattle. She is many ages of Summer, but I am in control and I am a lady. I am here and I want to see my readers get well and I don’t think telling on people will make anyone feel better. In reality it never made me feel better. I think that sharing what I have learned is what actually helps me move forward.

There are many paths to wellness. For me, medication and therapy, several types, has been a life saver for me. I think everyone should see a therapist for at least a period of time in their life. We can all use more tools to help us use our words and our minds to help us process what the world throws at us. I do know, for me, I would not be here without my relationship with God. God has always turned me in the right direction and spoken truths to me when I was ready to hear them. As I leaned into Them, I learned more and especially gained that peace, joy, safety and love I was looking for.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Don’t Want a Convicted Felon for My President

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 2, 2024 | Exclaim it!, Opinions

The world was different when The United States was created. Character was more important to most people; I still aspire to know people of good character and to be a person of high integrity but as a society we have become confused so I have to actually say I don’t want a convicted felon for my president. I am sure that when the Constitution was created, the writers never thought citizens of The United States would ever vote in a convicted felon, but they never saw 2024. In order to run for president The United States Constitution states that the following must be true about the candidate:

Be a natural-born citizen of the United States
Be at least 35 years old
Have been resident of the United States for 14 years

Anyone that can prove these requirements to be true can declare their run for office. Once they have raised $5000 in campaign funds the candidate must register with the Federal Election Commission and name a principal campaign committee to raise and spend campaign funds.

I am not someone that wants to waste my time talking badly about someone. I don’t spread memes about people and I rarely talk about politics because I believe it brings out the worst in people, including me. But I do believe that DJT has proven some of the worst about our society. If you are male, white, rich, well connected and willing to do anything, you can have anything you want and never pay the consequences. I am dumbfounded by his followers.

The bible tells us what a good leader is. The bible tells us that you can’t worship money and God at the same time. Christians that are following DJT, or are being manipulated by church leaders that have been manipulated by DJT, are not reading their bibles. They are not hearing God. Church and State should be separate for a reason. Jesus did not like politics, just like He didn’t like Pharisees.

So what can you do? Whether you are a Christian or not, you can use your voice. You don’t have to be honorable to anyone or any higher power, but yourself if you don’t want a convicted felon to be your president, like I don’t.

I have sent a simple message to my House Representatives and my Senator:

We don’t have to be rude. We don’t have to put anyone down. We do have to speak and we have to keep speaking until our representatives take us seriously. We voted them in. They work for us. It might take years but we have to start somewhere.

Contact Your United States Senator at www.senate.gov/senators
Contact Your House Representative at www.house.gov/representatives

Note: You might have any easier time finding your representatives by googling more personal information but these links are a start.

Most voters think with our pocketbooks. Many of us are thinking, when we are thinking about who to vote for, if we are better off now then when we were 4 years ago and in reality, how can you gauge that? The economy is so big and there are so many aspects that go into measuring that. I don’t believe that it is fair to judge any president when it comes to the economy because in a fair market, the president can’t control price. Besides money is not the only thing to think about when it comes to choosing a president. When it comes down to it, I don’t want a convicted felon having control of our military and access to our nuclear bombs or our relationships with other countries.

If you agree with me please use the information in this article to reach out to your appropriate representatives and tell them how you feel.

5 Books for May 2024

by Summer D Clemenson | May 29, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

I am sort of listening to Tiffany Haddish in her interview on Colbert while I am typing up what I already wrote earlier and she is talking about her new book. I love listening to her. She is a a hoot! So her new book is called: I Curse You With Joy…I think I will have to find this book. I love how she is always changing herself because the fact that she is dynamic is what keeps her fresh. As someone who has tried several aspects of characteristics, I appreciate this about her..

I think the 5 books I read this month are like this. These books are about being strong and learning and becoming. That is what life kind of about, other than overcoming fear and learning to love…but we can talk about that later…without much ado here are our 5 Books for May 2024. (more…)

Learning About Artificial Sweeteners

by Summer D Clemenson | May 28, 2024 | Fuel Your Wellness

The article was originally posted on Wellness Works NWon May 21, 2024.

I was recently watching TV and a commercial came on that said that artificial sweeteners caused strokes. I don’t eat foods with artificial sweeteners because they cause my GERD to flare up but I was curious and thought it was time for me to be learning about artificial sweeteners. Food and beverages with sugar in them give us empty calories that add up and cause weight gain. They also raise the risk of of health problems like diabetes and heart disease. Whether you are eating white sugar, honey, molasses or organic sugars, they are all sugar and they all lead to the same result. For this reason, many people look to sugar substitutes that offer less calories and some have no calories.

Types of Sugar

Sugar (50% glucose, 50% fructose)
Agave (10% glucose, 90% fructose)
Honey (30% glucose, 40% fructose, 14% water & small amounts of vitamins & minerals)
High Fructose Corn Syrup (45% glucose, 55% fructose)
Rice or Brown Rice Syrup (3% glucose, 52% maltotriose, 45% maltose)
Molasses
Sugar Substitutes

Sugar is a simple carbohydrate that is naturally found in fruits, dairy, grains and some vegetables. Table sugar is a combination of two simple carbs: glucose and fructose. Glucose is metabolized by our cells for energy. Fructose is metabolized by our liver which promotes fat. The FDA calls Sugar Substitutes Non-Nutritive Sweeteners because they are high-intensity, low-calorie, artificial sweeteners that provide no nutritional benefits such as vitamins and minerals. (more…)

Book Review: The Ark and the Dove The Story of Noah’s Wife by Jill Eileen Smith

by Summer D Clemenson | May 20, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

The Ark and the Dove The Story of Noah’s Wife by Jill Eileen Smith is based on the scriptures from the bible found in Genesis 5:32 through 10:1 where we can learn about what was happening during the time of Noah and the building of the ark and what it was like to be alive on the earth at that time. The bible doesn’t give a ton of detail but Smith has obviously taken a lot of time to help us see what it would have been like to be alive during this time and how it would have been to be the wife of Noah in this historical fiction book. Zara had many responsibilities in order to support her family, her husband and the wives of her sons. It was hard to be the only family that believed in the Creator and her family was persecuted often. Zara had to be strong for them all and she worked hard to be what they needed.

It was also hard to leave behind the people they loved that didn’t choose God. I hadn’t ever thought of that before, but mourning was part of their burden as they lived in close quarters with thousands of types of animals in the ark. This story continues for generations after the flood as Noah and Zara lived to see their great-great-grandchildren. This is a beautiful Christian story. I really enjoyed it and I highly recommend this retelling of Noah’s ark.

I got this book from my sister, Jamie Holloway. You can get your own copy of The Ark and the Dove The Story of Noah’s Wife by Jill Eileen Smith on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

The Ark and the Dove: The Story of Noah’s Wife by Jill Eileen Smith
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have heard and read the story of Noah and the Ark many times but it was nothing like The Ark and the Dove The Story of Noah’s Wife by Jill Eileen Smith. I loved this version! It had so many details about the life of Noah and Zara and their children and the culture they lived in. This historical fiction version brought the story of Noah’s Ark to life for me and I really got a lot out of it. I have a new found appreciation for work and dedication that Noah’s family put into honoring God’s commands. I highly recommend this book!

View all my reviews

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson

by Summer D Clemenson | May 13, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Emmett Till was a black 14 year old boy, raised in Chicago, that had come for a visit to his great-uncle, Moses Wright’s sharecropping farm in Mississippi. Before he left Chicago, he was told by his mother to not look white people in the eye and refer to them as sir and ma’am and to be very respectful. On Sunday August 28, 1955 Moses Wright was awakened at 2 am by two white men and at least one black man. “This is Mr. Bryant,” said another white man. “We want to talk to the boy. We’re here to talk to you about that boy from Chicago, the one that done the talking up at Money.” Milan, Chapter 2

No one is entirely clear what happened at the Bryant market in Money, Mississippi. Emmett’s cousins left him alone for only a few minutes. But Mrs. Bryant felt insecure enough to get her husband’s gun out of the car and tell her husband about it when he got home. Her husband and brother-in-law were upset enough about it to kidnap Emmett and brutalize him until he finally died and then throw his body in the Tallahatchie River, where it resurfaced on Wednesday August 31, 1955.

It would not have mattered how carefully the trial would have been handled. No one was going to find Bryant and Milan guilty for the crime of killing a black person, even though he was a child; not in Mississippi.

Tyson did not only give us a picture into the murder of Emmett in this true crime history memoir but also into the culture at the time that Emmett’s biography takes place and what was happening in politics and race in Mississippi and other southern states. Only weeks before Emmett was murdered 2 black men were lynched for attempting to register black voters in the Magnolia State.

Had Mamie Bradley not immediately begun calling Chicago newspapers when she learned that her son’s body had been found, had she not insisted that his body not be buried immediately in Mississippi but be brought to Chicago and then had an open casket service, her son’s murder may have gone unnoticed. But Bradley was not going to allow her son’s death to be in vain and because of her courage and strength, her son’s death got the attention of people around the world and brought to light not only the behavior of white supremacy in the south but in the north and where complacency was probably worse than actual violent actions.

The death of Emmett Till inspired many people to work hard to gain more traction with more fair civil rights and social justice for everyone. We still have room to grow, but we have come so far. The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson is an emotional and hard read at times, but it is a well written nonfiction memoir that is an important reminder of American history and the importance of loving our neighbor.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If you are looking for a light read, The Blood of Emmett Till by Timothy B. Tyson, is not it. But if you looking for a vital read this book does check those boxes. This nonfiction book doesn’t just explore the facts of the Emmett Till murder but also the politics and culture in the United States and especially the southern states where white supremacy was felt the loudest.

I recommend this book as an important part of any educated person’s reading list.

View all my reviews

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

The Apology

by Summer D Clemenson | May 11, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

I have been angry for a few weeks. I knew somewhere I needed to make amends but I didn’t know where the apology was supposed to be headed until today. My sister, Jamie Holloway, sent me a link to the cover song version of “Voices Carry” sung by Kate Hudson. I really enjoyed their version but I was getting angry while hearing the words…Shush…voices carry. Shut up! Voices carry. I hate the phrase “shut up.” I wasn’t allowed to use that term growing up. I wasn’t allowed to use it but other people were allowed to tell me to shut up. Don’t tell our secrets. Don’t tell your dad this. Don’t tell your mom this. Don’t say this. Don’t say what I said…

You know what? I am done being told to not speak.

This is part of a letter I sent to someone recently. They had asked me to keep our conversations out of my blog. I told them I would use discretion. I didn’t promise I would not write about my life. I didn’t consider my poetry, where I process my emotions and some of my dreams, but they were concerned about one of my poems where they were neither named or quoted and I am not saying it was or was not about them now.

I spoke to my therapist about my letter because in the rest of the letter, for the first time, I was honest with this person about myself. I have never been honest with this person. I have known them my whole life and never been honest with them because when I have been, I hurt them and their idea of me and they wont go to therapy. I don’t want them to not have someone to go to, who can explain to them that I don’t hate them, but I have to be free to be myself and to protect myself too.

You know what he told me? He told me that sometimes we need to talk and write about what happened to us. He told me that if anyone didn’t like what I had to write, they were free to not read it. If anyone asked them about my blog they were free to tell anyone they knew that they choose to not read it.

It made sense to me. I don’t choose to read much about Trump. I don’t choose to say much about him. When asked about him, I say, I don’t choose to read or speak about Trump. Why? Because the first two years of his presidency I couldn’t say President Trump without having an anxiety attack. I avoided Twitter, yet I couldn’t turn on the news without the press telling what he tweeted. He loves chaos and I hate it, so I avoid him.

If what I write bothers you. Don’t read it or talk about it.

This aligns with the bible too. God tells us that until we let the light of truth in we can’t heal. I have been in the dark for a long time and I am getting used to holding my wounds in the light where they can be healed by truth.

I owe a big apology to myself. I am sorry Summer. I have let people keep you quiet, when you didn’t want to be; sometimes when it hurt you to be quiet. I have let other people stifle you from sharing some of your healthy thoughts, and good habits. I have let others abuse you with your own silence. I don’t just share my life here to show off that my brain is healing and that I am growing, although I am very proud of that. I am hoping to get the attention of other emotional abuse survivors who need to know that it is ok to mess up. It is ok to speak. It is ok to try. It is ok to fail. It is ok to leave. It is ok to do what you have to do to get better. You don’t have to let people hurt you just because that is the way we have always done it. It is ok to expect change before reconciliation. It is ok to not want reconciliation. It is ok to not be sorry for telling the truth and say YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET AN APOLOGY FROM ME FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME.

I have a great life because I expect authenticity and the attempt at wellness from the people in my life. I am done with chaos. I have found my voice.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

But God

by Summer D Clemenson | May 9, 2024 | Poetry, Prayers, Queer Community

It was supposed to be warm and sunny today
but in my dream it was snowing
The silence was not available because
you were there to judge as always
You hate me because I am gay
I wanted to call you a slut
because the man you are married to
is not your first
but he is a preacher so his degree frees your tongue
You forget we have all fallen short
and require the grace of God

~

I left you because my tears were starting to freeze on my face
because I loved you best

~

Guarding the door
you stood with your rocks and knives
they all had collected for you
You threw a couple but
I slipped in another door
I know you hate yourself and me
but I don’t know why

~

You were tending you wounds
while your mother told lies and smoked cigarettes
and put them out in her daughter’s arm
If you could get away
If you could get away

~

I was supposed to go to school
but I didn’t know which box in the garage was mine
I had missed so many days I was overwhelmed
by what it might take to catch up
I have always been left behind
but God

~

God woke me from the nightmare
He chose me and loved me
He showed me that He was always with me
and with you
and I didn’t have to live in your house
to love you
He made boundaries because I am human
I am not God
I have limits
But I can pray and I don’t have to judge
in response to yours
I can love from my place in Him

~

You’ll Always Be My Good Boy Kitty

by Summer D Clemenson | May 3, 2024 | Poetry

It has been a little over a week since
you went home to Jesus
I still have the bruises on my arthritic knees
from when I got on the floor to look under the bed
to make sure you were still alive
I still have your claw marks on my thigh
from when I was washing you
because you had stopped doing that

~

Who would have thought a cat would take up so much of my heart

~

You came to me when I had begun to accept
that I would never give birth to my own child
You were my baby and I took the job seriously
You were my best friend
because you understood when I couldn’t talk about what I was feeling
My idiosyncrasies became your idiosyncrasies
and yours became mine

~

Who would have thought a cat would teach me so much about my heart

~

I miss you at night
I miss saying goodnight to you after you have nagged me into bed
I miss getting up and meeting you in the bathroom
for midnight snuggles
But I love that you seem to visit me in the morning hours in my dreams
I loved that you cussed me out this morning
and I got the best sleep in a week with you lying on my chest yesterday
it makes me not want to wake up

~

Who would have thought a cat could bring out the best in me

~

You helped me in ways no one else could
not because they didn’t want to
but because they had other things to do
You lived to take care of me and help me
learn to take care of myself
to love myself
I am stronger because I had to take care of us
and you needed me to be brave

~

I love you Xavier
You’ll always be my good boy kitty

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

Methotrexate is used to treat the following medical conditions:

Methotrexate may cause serious allergic reactions. Contact your doctor if you are experiencing:

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