Book Review: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

I bought A Return to Love back when Marianne Williamson was running for president in 2020 but I didn’t get around to reading it until now. I actually think I wasn’t ready to read it until this time in my life and I am really glad I was able to absorb it in this time where I am better able, and trying to forgive more, putting effort into unlearning fear, and learning to love better. I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it to a mature reader and a mature Christian or person who is comfortable in their beliefs.

The book I have is actually two books in one: A Return to Love and The Gift of Change, both by Marianne Williamson. There was so much to absorb in A Return to Love that I chose to do two different book reviews. I haven’t read the second book yet but I will do a separate book review for The Gift of Change when I have completed reading that book.

Marianne begins A Return to Love by explaining that she was raised in a Jewish home and has studied many religions. She also set aside her beliefs for some time and now is a Christian. Although her writing leaves room for any higher power, she refers openly to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit as her belief system and some people might be offended by this.

“The spiritual journey is the relinquishment — or unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Commonly throughout the book Marianne writes that people undervalue what we know to be true in our hearts and overvalue the things our physical senses can see. We do this because love is hard to see because love is an energy that is experienced through kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgement, joining and intimacy. Fear is the opposite of love and gives a false testimony to the meaningless of love. Fear looks like anger, abuse, disease, pain, greed, addiction, selfishness, obsession, corruption, violence and war. Love is threatening to our ego because it is simple.

Concepts Discussed in this Book:

• Love is the only reality.
• Fear is the opposite of love.
• Fear is an alternative reality.…no wonder we all feel crazy…
• Forgiveness transforms fear to love.
• Ego wants to judge.
• Holy Spirit wants to accept people as they are and provides room for compassion.

“The places in our personality where we tend to deviate from love are not our faults, but our wounds.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we are angry at people, we are angry because of something they said or did before this moment. But what people said or did is not who they are. Relationships are reborn as we let go of the perceptions of our brother’s pasts. ‘By bringing the past into the present, we create a future just like the past.’ By letting the past go, we make room for miracles.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

All negativity comes from fear. Anger, rudeness, manipulation, cruelty all comes from fear. Forgiveness transforms them all. Pain doesn’t come from the love we don’t give others but from the love we choose not to give. So the answer is to ask the Holy Spirit to change our perspective and help us forgive. When we close our heart in response to other people’s choices we hurt ourself but when we remain able to give love we see a miracle.

According to A Return to Love and my personal experience, the world has taught us to fear. This is unnatural to humans because we were created in God’s image and love is the only real emotion. This is what we have to return to  — to live in love and let go of fear. When we are feeling angry or annoyed with people we can confess this to the Holy Spirit, who wants to help us, and we will see the help we need, whether it is more compassion or forgiveness, or whatever is needed in the moment.

Steps to Process Change:

1. See my dysfunctional patterns
2. Confess and ask God to take them
3. Commit to change

“Personal growth can be painful because it can make us feel ashamed and humiliated to face our own darkness. But the goal of personal growth is the journey from dark emotional patterns that cause us pain to those that create peace.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

When someone hurts use we can blow up at them or we can forgive them. Here is a helpful prayer to repeat until you are not longer angry:

“I forgive you  _________________, and I release you to the Holy Spirit.”

This is a simple and very powerful prayer because it acknowledges that you know that God loves you and this person and wants the best for both of you. It also proclaims your trust in the Holy Spirit. I have tried this prayer out on many people and even with forgiving myself with some pretty powerful responses.

“…there is nothing we have been through or seen, or done, that cannot be used to make our lives more valuable now. We can grow from any experience, and we can transcend any experience. This kind of talk is blasphemy to the ego, which respects pain, glorifies pain, worships pain, and creates pain. Pain is its centerpiece. It sees forgiveness as its enemy.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Our only real pleasure will come when we do what God created us to do. We must ask Him to help us be an instrument of His peace and use the abilities He gave us to spread love.

“…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Trusting God is like trusting gravity. 2 points to remember:

1. God’s plan works
2. Mine doesn’t

“It is our humility, our desire to be of service, that makes us stars. Not our arrogance.”  Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

We can only receive God’s plan. If we add anything to it we take away the little that was asked of us. We are only to align ourself with God’s plan. He will make it happen. This is a very anti-world mindset. But it can be done.

“Dear God, I surrender this situation to you. May it be used for your purposes. I ask only that my heart be open to give love and to receive love. May all the results unfold according to Your will. Amen.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Another important concept that is talked about in A Return to Love are that we are interrelated but we have forgotten that because our ego supports a mentality where instead of “we” we talk about “my career”, “my money” or “my life.” But we are not separate. This falsely created separateness leads us to mistake where we put our devotion — our stuff instead of our love, relationships and our higher power.