by Summer D Clemenson | May 8, 2022 | Poetry
There is a wound that you opened
It is new with blood
and old with scars upon scars
There is a metal taste I wish I could forget
~
You say you are the victim
but I saw you and I wasn’t alone
we heard your hate that was just like
the evil meant to keep me small
I just want to go to sleep
~
Therapy has helped me live
Pills help me slow down so I am better
but I can still be cut in two
There is still a pain that can make it hard to move
~
They couldn’t bite your head if you left when they asked
if you didn’t invade their space
if you didn’t keep pushing
I couldn’t cut my abuser in two
if they didn’t corner me in the middle of the night
~
A tongue is a double edged sword
it can slay or tell truths
The victim is a relative term depending on your perspective
The screaming radiates in my ears regardless of radical acceptance
~
I just want to go to sleep
~
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 18, 2020 | Poetry
I have blood on my hands
it covers my palms warm and thick
It runs between my fingers
like liquid silk
The shock of it is curious
and I feel drunk
There is a voice singing that is like mine
I am mellow and expectant
Raising my arms to reach for more
the scars I have always had disappear
You have adopted me
and I am Yours
My heritage of rejections is gone
because You have never left me
You hold me close and I know You
Your voice is mine
We are one and We are new
I am wise and not broken
When I look back You recapture me
You are my inheritance
I know they never knew me
In You I am Your light and love
I have blood on my hands
and it is mine
You beckon and I follow until I forget
I am used to pain
Your heart beat calms me
If I remember to stay here
to live my inheritance
Image Credit: By 3rd/4th century monk – http://chrles.multiply.com/photos/album/36/Bible_Papyrus_p92#photo=2, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=13288140
~
by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 22, 2017 | Poetry
Under the branches of You I hide
I live
I learn
I breath in the scent of You
and smile
The wind and waves roar inside me
They crash
and shake
Yet You are dependable
to save
You know the wars that tear at my flesh
You validate
You heal
You know who I truly am
I’m yours
Even in this wilderness
You are
I am
and I know You know where we are going
even now
That’s enough
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 6, 2017 | Poetry
I asked Jesus for someone to love me like Him
He sent me a soldier
to fight for me
to look past my ugliest and remember who I am
to see the path when I cannot
to remember that He is the one in charge
My head on your chest is my favorite spot
the sound of your heartbeat
is just one more reason to remember the mission
My Father has saved me over and over
He created me for a life
that requires much faith
and more grace
So when I needed someone on earth to hold my hand
He created you
Even sound asleep
you are working hard
and I am glad to lie here until fibromyalgia makes me move
Without you who would He send home
to wake me from a PTSD nightmare
Help me remember all the things I forget
Inspire me to push past my burning skin and screaming joints
when you need help
Make me want to imagine tomorrow
Your smile lights up my heart
makes it easy for me to never leave you behind
Helps me understand why Jesus would choose me
Until you wake and make me laugh
I will agree with Jesus in my prayers for you
I will hug you close until you stop snoring
laugh at the jokes you tell in your sleep
massage the muscles that twitch while you dream
I will revel in all the times I chose not to fight you
You are the love I wanted
You are my favorite blessing
When I thank Jesus for you every other care is silent
except for the tears that fall on your shirt
This poem is dedicated to My Love
by Summer D Clemenson | Feb 27, 2017 | Poetry
Lord please help me
Thank you for the beautiful blue sky today
The clouds are pretty
The tree out front praises You always
and right now shows the glimmer of new life in the light of the sun
I feel like the nothingness has come again
Like yeast I feel it expand
My thoughts seem to bubble up and away from me
If I could leave here I would
You hold me always and guide me with Your voice
You show me the path when I can walk
But now all I see is me trying to see You
Please give me Your eyes
Your faith in me is the only thing that
stops me from floating away
My body screams where it isn’t numb
I know You know what this feels like
Nevertheless not my will but Yours
by Summer D Clemenson | Dec 27, 2016 | Poetry
Unintentionally you shot me
with your legal use of force
My heart is full of bullet holes
from the war zone you accidentally created
where sneak attacks tore us apart
The palace you worked hard to provide was sparkly
Because you taught me to run directly into firestorms
for years I fought to defend it
But you didn’t know about the terrorists after my heart and mind
Your Fast Assessment Strike Tool didn’t work in my benefit
My humanity was set aside while you saved yourself
Something like PTSD sucks the life out of me when I see you
The armed conflict is still happening
even though the war crimes were committed years ago
I don’t hate you and I miss you
but I am holding the wrong ammunition for your battle plan
I don’t need judgement or criticism wrapped in a hug
I don’t need people who just want what I have
because I only have love to give
I am unable to engage in euphemisms
and your moral outrage is not my fight
I have made choices you can’t understand
because I have orders you can’t see
In the mire I live in right now light is a precious commodity
I am shaken by the wars outside of me
but the glimmer of hope I depend on will continue to lead me on
I can’t follow your objectives while my old wounds fester
I don’t know how to let them go so I must let them heal
and my treatments take too long for you
As much as I want to choose you
I have made myself my own secret mission
I will contact you when the casualties have been honored
by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 2, 2016 | Poetry
The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might
~
The path is not straight but you don’t travel alone
Through suffering you suffer not
in
Him you find your faith
on
Him you call and make known your heart
His heart is your heart and together they beat
~
The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might
~
With all your heart and mind you praise Him
In JOY you dance with Him
yes
He loves to feel your embrace
with
God you have found your Living Water
With all your being you laugh with Him because He is
~
The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 25, 2016 | Poetry
In the dark I am
surrounded all around
My closed eyes sense no light
the breeze around me
is not Your breath
Arrows circle me faster and louder
created by the accuser
deceit
betrayal
scenes of great decay
All the things that hold me
I feel You near
I see You in the light above the noise
I fix my eyes on You
I get distracted but You are always there
As I see You I see You more
until I know I am standing
on Your living water
You living water
goes where I am
because You are always with me
Even when I don’t feel
or see You
You are with me
You have given me new eyes
You have made me safe
You have carried me this far
And in You is no darkness
at all
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 16, 2016 | Poetry
The crinkle of paper and the whisper of a pen
I saw My Commander sign the order
You were given permission to test me but not unto death
You lured me in with promises and built me up
I tried not to believe you but you wore a new disguise
You left me isolated and rejected my loyalty
You beat me with your fists and threw me down on the cold cement
You ran me over with a cargo van and I heard my ribs crack
Your laughter rang shrill as I struggled to breathe
coughing on my own fluids and waiting for you to stop
because I know when you get weak
I wove in and out of my experience
knowing my nightmare was only real in one realm
I could not wake up
no matter how many times Xavier called my name
or jumped off and on the bed
Your eyes twinkled when you blew me up
The sound made Anniessa wince
Her dark eyes grew darker as she watched frozen in her flashback
In sticky piles that covered everything I laid in many places
My nerves were on fire and the air was lingered with smoke
The smell of blood filled my senses
and I knew you were there devising the next encounter
The only intimacy you can truly experience
The taste of blood it doesn’t even answer a dry mouth
His furry striped face stood watch
as I looked at him through eyes full of sleep
I wished for my soldier
but she was far away
His soft paws brushed my face
while I tried to remember how to move my arms
On a road in the desert I knew you were there
I could sense the hidden witnesses who knew nothing
The ground was hard and hot
Nathaniel had joined Anniessa as they stood strong
While red dust blew through their hair and they muffled their thoughts
I watched you quarter me with a steak knife from my kitchen
You laid my parts side by side
You cursed me and could not understand why I was mad
The spit from your mouth was hotter than the wind
I heard my soldier fighting and calling my name
I saw formless minions clenching her arms and covering her mouth
You refused to hear me so I didn’t to speak
Above the muffled screams of my soldier
You made known all your accusations
No one spoke for me because the buildings caught on fire
I knew I was still alive because I remembered His words
You also cursed Him because you didn’t act in your own power
In the arms of my soldier I awoke
as my feline baby wove his way in
Bathed by the softness of their eyes I was finally near peace
Every blow, every burn, every cut still fresh
I cried in pain, in my body and sorrow in my mind
My Commanders voice whispered the truth in the quiet
because He had already won
You can’t reach me unless I let you
and I am learning how to not let you in
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 18, 2016 | Poetry
In a quiet only known with You
You are God
I can reach out and touch the gifts of Your praise
In the colors of Your rainbow are Your radiance and mercy
and I have been allowed to be here!
You chose me before You made me
or the earth and all its wonders
You tell me how much You love me
with every breath You breathe into me
I am but to praise You with Your own love and faith
and I will stay here for awhile
because it took so long to see how much You gave for me
To stand here and minister to You with Your own song
with Your own truth
In a quiet only known with You
by Summer D Clemenson | May 18, 2016 | Poetry
I heard You yesterday
surrounded by trees and strangers
I felt You walking with me
I looked for someone coming
over my shoulder and all around
and then You spoke
“Do you feel Me?”
Four words relieved my anxiety
Yes I feel You
Our steps were in unison
and I wasn’t alone
Greeted by people in need
people in a hurry
people who can’t see me
You were steady and leading
I have stumbled looking for You
Today Your strength kept our path
“Do you feel Me?”
Four words show You trust me
to know You are here
Our steps are in unison
and I am not alone
by Summer D Clemenson | May 17, 2016 | Poetry
I know how to scrub floors
I can do it in any dress
whether in drag, rags or coiffed to the nines
I am here to serve
On my knees with or without implements
I’ve cleaned up messes I didn’t make
I have grown and I have watched
you drop your plates, scraps and shrapnel
where I can see
you maintain your stature
and my body become one with the floor
At your pleasure I have served
watched my sisters at their stations
until I was alone
Then a swift kick in the rump
can send me airborne
to scrub what no one else saw
On my last trip down
I decided to stand up
and walk away;
maybe learn to dance in my own house
because her smile made floors out of clouds
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 20, 2016 | Poetry
My father worked hard and built two houses
one wanted to be an island
the other wanted to be the world
When he left the island he never came back
It was my job to keep it from floating away
While my light shone bright You sought me
Before my small hands could break
You breathed into me Your life
because without You I wouldn’t be
My father collected 4 porcelain dolls with painted faces
but I was really a house of mirrors
My dress was full to cover my broken parts
because no one wants to see some things
To bless those You need to be seen
You made me with the ability to see
Mirrors tell truths minds can distort
You heal wounds even we can’t see
My father came from a railroad house;
he built with tools he had learned to make
Tools the world says are strong but not on an island
I’ve moved to the city
The island likes to be what it wants to be
When I walk by a mirror I am surprised to see smooth skin
The other dolls have cracks from smiling too hard
Your wind has scattered them to their hills
But I stand here because this one You made for me
You have built my new house
You’ve sent me a sergeant to be strong when I can’t
My mirrors are broken but we want to hang Yours
Your light shines through every dark place
Your carpentry will make sure my father and his houses are welcome
Your foundation is forgiveness and we will have strong floors
by Summer D Clemenson | Jan 3, 2016 | Poetry
In the quiet You are here
In the clatter & destruction
You are here
When I reach out my hand
You meet me as far as I need
I know that You know
that I know
that I know
You know
I can’t walk alone
So You are with me every step
You know every tear
every drop of blood spilled
every wound
that I can’t allow to heal
You are the perfect salve
I will never go septic
When I stop
strangling myself
You will be the air I breathe
Because You are my heart
that beats
the synapses that fire
and You will not let go of my hands
Written by Summer D Clemenson 12/29/2015
by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 3, 2015 | Poetry
You are great and massive
Without You
I am a speck in someone else’s eye
In Your might
I grow
As we walk I become more like You
While You hold me
I illuminate within You
Arms outstretched
as the boughs of a mighty oak
Your roots run deep and steady
The breeze in the leaves
speaks of Your Spirit
I feel it moving
I repeat the song it sings
and watch it heal
I am refreshed
by Your river that overflows
In Your shadow I will never move
November 1, 2015
by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 25, 2014 | Poetry
You are so much bigger than myself
Drowning in communication
Caught in the chords that we’ve confused
I am straining to hear You
but the addresses are new while the links look unchanged
—
Critics have had their say
The constant wailing and lamenting
has captured thousands of hits
But only You know what I am mourning
—
The information I have depended on
cannot be found
You see my creation and documented the keywords
I have worked hard to maintain a user-friendly site
but the pop-ups have led me astray
Will You tell me where I am going?
—
The polls are in and the adware has been effective
My arms are exhausted from constant hacking
You are the one that connects the parts of me You made
while the marketing continues to mix
—
The slideshow is entertainment while I wait
for the entire page to upload
A glitch in the database
stops my head from speaking to my feet
while technicians install Your latest update
There are 3 empty chairs at this station even though You never leave
—
The fine print clarifies that You are always refining
My code is always being updated
I look forward to being newer and better when You are done
as silver purified in a furnace on earth 7 times
by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 8, 2014 | Poetry
In the warmth that fills me
You claim Your place inside
Like a child I behold Your face ablaze
Giggles escape in adoration
as I reach up to look better at Your eyes
as I run my fingers through Your hair
—
As long as I stay here
You are my breath
You empower my opportunities
and even while I look to You
You leak out of my pores
—
The voices singing Hallelujah
erupt and fill the room
We sway in Your arms
but only use words that seem too small
In You we find our likeness
while you manage the production in Your Word
—
Desire to move on my own
takes me out of Your light
So I will stand on Your feet
and let You lead
I fail when I try my hand at choreography
—
There is a whisper in my soul
that answers every question
Like a child I behold Your face ablaze
Giggles escape in adoration
Who I am is in Your gaze
and You are the song and the dance
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 21, 2014 | Poetry
I would have nothing but death
and with a broken heart You made plans for that
You said there would be war
and rumors of war
You said You would come back
and I would take my eyes off You in order to guess
Even this is more proof of You
My neighbors revel in gossip and drama
while people You love
starve and sleep in the street
You said humanity would breed evil
and it has
I have tried to avoid dancing with them yet still I must repent
You know how hard I have tried to be good
and failed
Your love is so deep and encompassing and honest
Trust founded in you
has been raped by our greed
But in my heart You remain
You overwhelm me with Your grace
So I would be happy to look more like you
You said I would be persecuted
by liars, tramps and thieves
Your salvation is complete
even while I still remain ready to compete
I hear the song in my heart cry with You
because You replaced mine with Yours
You see me through Your Son even through my sin
I am slowly losing my first site and sound of judgement
because You require me to give up all
While You are my amazing gain
I live in a glass house You built
I am hidden by Your Name
You are Promise and Truth
You are Overcomer and Savior
I am because You are
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 14, 2014 | Poetry
You want me to live in your box
Your invitation is perpetual
and you think you won
In the black and white
I die
The death you embrace
The rigid walls cut my skin
You spend resources
to name my life as yours
Writing rules is your passion
You poke and prod
You question and assess
but you do it for you
while I fight to hold still
Powers and principalities
push me out of your realm
Push you into yours
The realness of fear
keeps us in opposition
It is not just flesh and blood
that makes us move
It’s life
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 17, 2014 | Poetry
I was kicked in the stomach today
I am the subject of a hit and run
Accusations runs wild
Fear plays loudly in stereo
and surround sound speakers
Not one bit of gratitude
has played for my ears
While I fly over their heads
Attacks come
from every direction
There is screaming inside me
Yet there is also quiet
that holds my attention
My gums are inflamed
my stomach is on fire
But You are here all the while
When I land
I will still be in Your arms
I will be in your peace
where I am never evicted
where I have what I need
Your countenance shines through mine
While I am in You
and You are in me
Image Credit: http://blessingsbeyondthebarnyard.com/2013/09/what-are-you-afraid-of.html
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 7, 2014 | Poetry
The gifts will continue to stack up
while you curse His blessing
Even while you mock His greatest creation
you will always have enough but I hold what you didn’t ask for
He cries for you
while you do what was done to you
Wounded and guarded
they pray for guidance while I carry them
Together we maneuver your obstacle course because
I refuse to hide your bad marketing
He cries for you
while you do what was done to you
You sing your own praise to all who can hear
You thank Him for divine gifting but don’t see what is in front of you
Depravity has been born out of neglect
While you shut me out in fear
He cries for you
while you do what was done to you
Keep tearing me down while you push them away
Don’t listen to me even though I speak through honest hearts
Ignore my communication and spite my questions
Only see the distraction instead of what I hold in my hands
He cries for you
while you do what was done to you
Note: As with any art what you see or hear is relative. I don’t usually explain any part of my poetry but the message on my heart while I wrote this is so important. The subject of this poem is so many people who are believers who don’t love people because people hurt them and stole their trust; there are so many of us. “I” is the Holy Spirit. “He” is Jesus. “They” are the messengers he has placed in our lives to show us something we need to heal. If you want to be healed Jesus knows what you need. Trust him. You can’t always trust your eyes & ears. If you have been abused your eyes & ears may have scars. Believers can’t rely on the sword and the law; we are no longer subject to the law because the life of Jesus will lead you in all righteousness.
Image Credit: http://elgarblog.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/the-pendulum-swings-patent-misuse-and-antitrust-by-daryl-lim/
by Summer D Clemenson | May 30, 2014 | Poetry
Up high in the air
Only God really sees
Flying where he breathes
Only God really sees
Over rivers of his glory
washing and cascading
through canyons
and dry heat
The song we sing
Only God really hears
His song he sang
Only God really hears
The walls he made
to guide your path
Are glorious
as we fly
Our direction at his discretion
Only God really speaks
His word shake us
Only God really speaks
His message of love
is his glory we sing
from rainbow filled skies
we are the wings
Painting by Joshua Simila
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