I don’t think I could put in words how much I love, need and want Karen G Clemenson. She is it. As I grew up I had made lists of what I wanted in a partner. I have never taken choosing a partner lightly and I am not casual about sex at all. Karen is one of two people I have ever been with. She even helped me get over the first guy, promising he would come back, until I finally told her, I didn’t want him to come back.
I have loved 3 people in my life and there were about 10 years between each person. I was friends with each person first. My lists always changed as I had my heart was shattered. Because I love completely. I am so grateful that I am demisexual because I don’t have overwhelming sexual feelings that get in my way until I have bonded with someone emotionally, intellectually and have learned if they are worthy of my trust.
When I prayed to God and asked for a partner I was shocked that Karen was the one. I had been fighting my feelings for some time, to be honest. I was raised in a conservative family and conservative religion and being gay was wrong. However, I had also walked with God since I was 5 and I had an authentic relationship with God and there had been many things God had shown me, that I had been taught, that were wrong.
It was still 1 year after we were married, before I could verbalize that I was bisexual and demisexual. But I also knew that God knew that I was queer. He made me this way and He loved me and this very small part of who I am, is part of the calling He has for me. Nothing I have ever done or ever will do, will ever change how much He loves me or that the salvation He created for me is mine. He promised me that. I am supposed to love Him, let Him love me, and love my neighbor. He will fill in all the blanks.
Karen and I have this little joke. She asks me — Who loves you? — I always answer, with a smile on my face: Jesus.
The only competition Karen has is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I do find other people attractive but I don’t want them. We talk about that. Neither of us wants anyone else. And even the most exquisite looking person can open their mouth and say a selfish, judgmental, or hateful thing and suddenly they are no longer interesting to me in any way.
I have had people try to use their religious beliefs to justify their fear that I am going to hell. I am sick of this. It just isn’t true. God created inclusion. The word “homosexuality” wasn’t even added to the bible until 1947 by white people that wanted to control the narrative. I do realize the bible I read, in its imperfection, was inspired by God, but edited by man. This doesn’t stop me from reading it, but I read it with Jesus and I ask questions and wait for answers.
Karen was the best gift God ever gave me. When I could not hide that I was sick anymore, she was there. I had never been taken care of before. I had been the one to serve. I am an artist and chronically ill. I don’t know what my body and mind will be like from day to day; I don’t often know what I will say until I say it. She is never intimidated by me, my body, my mind or my ideas. She loves the challenge and surprises. On earth, she is my rock and I am her’s. I don’t take this for granted.
On the flip side, she eats healthier, dresses better and has more organization in her life than she ever had on her own because once we were married, we both learned, we needed someone to take care of. Her blood pressure is normal, her weight is exactly what her doctor wants it to be and her muscle tone is impressive. Plus she has some pretty great aspirations that she would never have attempted if she didn’t have someone cheering her on. Who else is going to correct her when she says she is crazy and tell her she is just juggling a lot?
We make an amazing team. I thank God for her all the time. I can’t and don’t even want to imagine life without her. We have healed and grown so much in this relationship and I wish that the kind of love, trust, honesty and kindness we share was in all partnerships. If there was, there would probably be little to no divorce and less STIs and unwanted pregnancies too. Because when you have all you want in your relationship, you don’t have to look anywhere else and you make decisions together and you don’t do things to tear down the team.
I am a blessed woman.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
My name has been on the title of 4 cars in my entire life. Joshua the drunken parrot has hung in the window of 3 of those cars. Joshua (pronounced Ho-sway) is an air freshener but he became a character and a memory that means a lot to me.
My first car was a 1976 Plymouth Gran Fury Brougham III. She was cream colored on the outside with cranberry pinstripes accents. The upholstery was cranberry brocade. She was beautiful. I called her Sadie. She was a sassy old lady. When she was finally warm, which took some time, she loved to cruise. I could comfortably fit 7 people in my car, in seat belts. I could also fit a few in the trunk when trying to slide a few extras into the drive-in. My friend’s Honda could fit in my trunk. I inherited this car because my grandpa gave it to my mom as a second car and I was the only person in the house tall enough to drive it. I don’t know why that car felt like a lady, but she did. Eventually I had to get rid of her. The repairs were too much and my landlord was threatening to tow it away so I gave her to someone that showed up with a tow truck.
My second car was a 1972 Buick Skylark. My family was the second owner of this car. My grandpa helped my mom buy it from our neighbor, who had been the first owner of the car. When mom bought the car, it had always been kept in the garage and had very few miles on it, since our neighbor, Joy, rarely went anywhere other than the grocery store and church in it. Mom was friends with a company that did upholstery work so she had new black carpet and grey upholstery put in, in exchange for haircuts and perms until it was paid off. Then her friend spent a weekend painting everything cream colored, inside the car black. She also got a new black vinyl top. She left the green paint. The car looked great. She bought the car when I was 14 years old. It was the car that all three of my siblings and I learned to drive on.
By the time mom gave this car to me, I was 25. The car had had lots of adventures and even caught on fire a few times but it had always started and always got us home, no matter how long it had sat. I had named it Gabriel when I was a teenager. He felt masculine and that was the only angel name I knew. Gabriel had a huge steering wheel. I could not buy a steering wheel cover for this car so I bought some giraffe print fabric and red sparkly ribbon and made my own. I bought a purple feather boa and some party favors for the back window and Joshua the drunk parrot air freshener, along with a disco ball to hang in the window.
I put a lot of money into repairing Gabriel. I had to have the frame welded back together (my mother likes to drive like a race car driver and she taught us all to drive that way). After paying that bill, I was more aware of not taking corners on two wheels anymore. I replaced every part under the hood. I always had car parts and stuff for trips to Willow Grove in the truck, plus a box with every fluid Gabriel might need and basic tools, because when you drive a classic car, that is what you do. As I became an auntie I enjoyed rockin’ out with my little people. They helped me come up with the story about Joshua the drunk parrot.
So the story is that Joshua is pretty special because Joshua is another name that Jesus might have been called. It was very common where Jesus was. Joshua wasn’t sure where he came from because he drank too much. Sometimes he was from Guatemala, sometimes Cuba, sometimes Mexico, but always in South America. We always offered him pretend root beer because he was a pretend bird, except Casey. Casey always gave him pretend beer because when Joshua got drunk he had super stinky farts and Casey thought that was funny. We always had fun making up stories about Joshua. I named the bird a name that might open up a Jesus conversation or cause a conversation about being careful about what you put in your body. Plus we got to laugh.
At some point Gabriel was getting really expensive to drive. I had to fill his tank with Chevron Supreme or he didn’t run right and he only got 8 miles to the gallon in town. He also just needed the engine rebuilt and I didn’t have the money for that. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but he wasn’t fitting my lifestyle anymore.
My friend’s mom had stopped driving and my friend chose to give me her mom’s car. This car was a 1986 Pontiac 6000 LE. She was brown and as I got to know her, she was a black disco queen named Paisley Star. So I bought some purple paisley fabric and made her a steering wheel cover. I bought some silk flowers for the back window and grabbed the disco ball and Joshua out of Gabriel to decorate the window of my new rig that offered more room for car seats and legroom for my crew.
Eventually I sold Gabriel. I was between jobs and I knew if I had the money to finish restoring him, I needed to get a fuel efficient car. My dream vehicle is actually a minivan. I have always wanted to be a foster mom. Gabriel was not made for a family.
When Karen G Clemenson and I got married, Paisley was starting to nickle and dime me. We could not afford two cars so we sold her. I hear the person that bought her was able to get her shined up and keep her going.
Now Joshua hangs in the window of Karen’s 2008 Dodge Caliber. My name is on the title but this car is Karen’s. I don’t know how to drive a stick and I don’t feel like learning on this old car. The car’s name is Thomasina. This car is nonbinary. I say that because sometimes Karen uses the pronouns he or she when she refers to them. I listen a lot and I know that most of Karen’s cars have been dudes. Karen never gave it much thought, until I pointed out to her that she uses both pronouns with this car. I find that interesting. Karen hung Joshua in the window because she knows what he represents to me.
Karen and I were watching Elton John and Brandi Carlisle on TV, the other night. I was having so many memories because I love music and that is something I shared with my nieces and nephews. I remember putting together a playlist for the car with the kids and we had to have Rocket Man and Crocodile Rock on that list. Then Brandi, who I have had no musical history with, sang You Without Me and I burst into tears.
I had to walk away from my family. I stayed as long as I did because I didn’t want to lose my relationships with my nephews and nieces. I knew what happened, would happen but I had to choose me. In her song, Brandi was talking about the moment when her kids proved they were independent humans and not an extension of her. It was beautiful. It was what I wanted to watch happen and enjoy for these wonderful humans that I got to love and who called me Auntie Summer.
I ache for these humans. I want to hug them and hear their plans and aspirations. I want to listen to their passions and get to know their partners, if they have them. I want to love on their babies, if they have them. I want to see what makes them happy now.
Loss is a part of life. I have has a lot of loss. I have had a lot of blessings too. As I dried my tears, I realized if I got the opportunity to see my nieces and nephews again, I would thank them. In the dynamic of my family, it was needed that I serve. Who I was and what I wanted and needed was always unimportant. I found myself in these amazing people. Traits that had not been appreciated or fostered in me, were loved in these children and even though that meant, what it meant for me and my place in the family, I finally understood, I wasn’t wrong or weird. These children helped me learn how to be strong for me. They saved me.
I loved them from the moment I knew about each one of them. I was overwhelmed by the amount of love I felt when I touched them for the first time. These young people taught me so much about myself, and I know that even though they haven’t chosen to be part of my life now, I made a difference in their lives because I listened to them and heard them. That made me a confusion to their parents. I knew a different version of their children because I saw them as their own person.
Joshua is a reminder of singing songs at the top of our lungs, laughing at pretend stinky gas, helping each other into car seats and making sure we put our toys away or brought our things in because Auntie Summer keeps her car tidy. These kids would probably understand why I don’t spend any time that I don’t have to in Auntie Karen’s car…
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I am so tired. Every day I could write to you about another issue due to the horrible state we are in because of the control that MAGA republicans, and maybe even some democrats, want to have over every part of our lives and I am so angry and frustrated that I don’t like some of the things I think about. But today I want to talk about the “Save Act.”
I am seriously concerned about my mental health right now, so I am not going to write much, but being a fellow woman, you should already know why expecting people to produce a birth certificate or a passport in order to register to vote is bullshit. I ordered a copy of my birth certificate a couple months ago and it is not here. Trump probably fired the person who was supposed to print it out and mail it to me. I haven’t considered leaving the country for at least 20 years and I don’t think I can get a passport without my birth certificate, so you can see where I am going with this. My greatest concern is that when my wife and I married, she took my name. My wife is a United States Army Veteran and it really pisses me off that because she decided to take my name, that she might not get to vote; she was willing to die for this country and yet if you let this bill pass, she won’t be allowed to vote.
My wife is one of the best people I have ever met. She works hard. She is kind and caring. She gives every day her best. She deserves to vote. Please don’t let her lose this right.
The other day, Karen G Clemenson came home for lunch and she mentioned that she heard Disney’s Live Action Snow White was very good, but some people were upset because Snow White was Latina. I have seen the previews and saw she was very light-skinned and thought we should check on that.
The actor playing Snow White, Rachel Zegler, is of Colombian descent. She has also played Maria in Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story and Juliet in a Broadway version of Romeo and Juliet. But the main reason she got this role is because Zegler can sing and she has always been a devoted Disney fan, even knowing some of the shows on the Disney channel and she was easy to coach into the sound Disney wanted for this role.
“Snow White chooses kindness and still makes change. Power takes many forms. I hope we’ll see a new dawn of kindness and acceptance in the next couple of years. And people don’t see the need to use hate to cause further division.” Rachel Zegler
Karen said people wanted Disney to stay with the original story of Snow being white. I can understand that for some people. Even my sister, Jamie Holloway, reminded me of the Snow White story’s original German roots, but it isn’t an issue for me. I am excited to see the movie when we can stream it. I have enjoyed most classic Disney movies as a child, but I have never really appreciated cartoons. As Disney has recreated their stories with real life characters and backgrounds, I have loved these stories so much more. I never understood Beauty and The Beast until it was in true life character format.
I believe that my neurodivergent brain doesn’t comprehend cartoons. Even as a child I got headaches from the bright colors and loud sounds in cartoons. I chose to do dishes and laundry over watching cartoons. But when the same story is shown to me in live action formats, I can enjoy and understand them. So more than one version is important because seeing stories from different perspectives shows us new layers. Also, new versions of stories do not remove the power and beauty of the previous versions. We can always go back to the older versions and enjoy them and remember how we felt when we were children and how it made us feel. We can still share the old versions with our next generation. We have room for old and new versions.
I told Karen that I had heard that Disney wasn’t going out of their way to include DEI practices in their endeavors. I don’t know if this is true, but their parks and stories happen all over the world and money is inclusive. Back when Shakespeare was making plays women were not allowed to act and your skin color didn’t matter, they chose the best actor for the role. In my favorite Shakespeare movie, Much Ado About Nothing, Keanu Reeves and Denzel Washington are brothers. Why can’t Snow White be played by a Colombian and her stepmother be played by Gal Gadot, from Israel?
My favorite Disney “princess” is Mulan. I am not Chinese. I don’t want to present myself as male or fight in war. But I am a woman and I can understand wanting to protect my family and also going against the chosen path for me. With a little bit of imagination and respect, we can relate to anyone we want to, even if they are very different from us.
I have not made time to see the live action version of Little Mermaid. But it has occurred to me that I only see white skinned mermaids at the store. This bothers me. Both mermaids should be available for people to choose from. When the live action version came out, I was so happy to see videos of brown-skinned girls that were overjoyed to see a mermaid that was like them. I have to say, I have been looking at white people and art all my life, and I get much more excitement to see art that includes people of color. It’s time to actually be fair.
I think we are stronger and healthier when we make room for young people to grow up in a world that shows them we want them. I think it is wonderful that Disney hired a woman that was talented and able to fill the role and didn’t worry about if she was German or not. It is ok to make more room at the table. I look forward to seeing videos of Latina girls that are excited to have a Disney princess that looks like them.
The only character that Disney hasn’t tried to portray, until now, is a christian. I hear this is in the works and I must say, this one scares me. There are so many versions of christianity and some of them are less beautiful than others.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
The other night I saw an interview with Howard Ludnick, our nation’s commerce secretary, where he believes that if his mother-in-law didn’t get her social security check that she would not complain, but if a person committing fraud, didn’t get their’s, they would complain. I am thankful that his mother-in-law has other options. The premise of Ludnick’s whole interview was that everyone on Social Security has a backup plan but there are so many people that just plain need our checks. We can’t wait a month for ours to show up. Social Security isn’t a ponzi scheme, even if Elon Musk wants to name it that. It is a lifesaver for me and my family.
When I say my family, I am referring to my wife and I, but also my best friend that doesn’t live with us. My homebound friend receives Social Security, Medicaid,Medicare, and food assistance but once her rent is paid, she is out of money. Her food assistance doesn’t allow her to buy enough fresh vegetables so we help her with that. She is part of my household budget, as well as her sister and maybe a few other people that help her. If I don’t get my Social Security and Medicare (I am not eligible for food assistance or Medicaid), I don’t have health insurance to help me deal with my 13 chronic conditions, plus cancer. But I also help pay many of my household’s regular bills, while my wife works 3 jobs to pay the rest of our bills; For several months one of her jobs has not had hours to give her so we have be struggling. It would be impossible to stay afloat without my check, not just for my house, but for my friend. We are already not doing as much for her as we like to because my wife has not been able to bring in as much as usual. If I were to complain to Social Security about a missing check, I am not defrauding anyone. I honestly need help.
It seems to me that our current administration is so far removed from the chronically ill and poor. They have no idea what it is like to need. I am thankful that many people don’t have to be creative with their resources. I don’t think some people have the fortitude for the life that I live, but to know that everyone in our president’s cabinet is without empathy or compassion and even the majority of Congress can be swayed by a president without feeling or warmth or even regard for human life, at all, makes me very afraid for our future, not only my personal future, but our future as a country.
Please continue to encourage all of Congress to do their job to protect Social Security.
I am writing in regards to a Yemen airstrike fiasco that should never have happened. In an open chat, on an unsecured platform, Pete Hegseth, JD Vance, Mike Waltz, Marco Rubio, Tulsi Gabbard, John Ratcliffe other high ranking officials and Jeffrey Goldberg of The Atlantic Magazine, war plans were discussed in detail, including types of weapons and times and places.
I have seen parts of interviews where congressmen have made excuses or outright lied about this event. I watched a video by Pete Buttigieg where he described the layers of protection and secrecy required for our nation’s protection. I even watched Trump say he knew nothing about the event, however the strike was a tremendous success. I have never heard a president say he didn’t know what was going on with the planning of an air strike before.
With at least 53 people killed and 98 injured, and since most of the casualties were Yemen civilians, how can this strike be seen as a success? I thought the strike was supposed to target Houthi terrorists? I see this military action to be a total loss. I see this entire regime as careless, reckless and detrimental to our nation. I believe that everyone in that text message should be fired and jailed for treason and espionage.
Please keep working hard to encourage all of Congress to do their job.
I have read the bible by myself for the joy of it all my life. But when I was younger it was also taught to me to prove myself and others wrong, to find sin, to weaponize Jesus and His word. I don’t know if the people that taught me to do this, did it with intention to weaponize it, or if the people that taught them to do it had that reason, but somewhere along the chain, there was some intent to manipulate and control others. When I learned what I was doing, I began to ask God to help me unlearn this behavior. I did this because I could see that it wasn’t helping anyone get closer to God but just the opposite.
This behavior has been used to morph into political gain as well. It makes me angry and sad, depending on where I am and who I am with.
I have been really hurt by well-intentioned people at church. I sometimes, but rarely, visit churches now. My experience at church is nothing like the relationship I have with God when I can just be myself. God has told me I have specific callings on my life. He did not make me to fit in a church. But I did get one method of reading the bible every year from one church that I enjoy. When I finish, I start again and because I have grown and changed each year, the scriptures are different for me. It makes each time I read a scripture like it is new and I learn something special or deeper.
The Bible Was Created to:
Aid in building relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit
Teach history and culture
Bring the reader to their own repentence
Edify and encourage the reader and others
People get confused. They think because Paul, a fallible man, talks about how to run a church that we are supposed to tell each other how to live, but Paul often gets full of himself, and being a Jew, he still liked laws a lot.
Jesus said to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind and love our neighbor as ourselves. If we could do that we were good. He also said all judgement was given to Him, the Son of God, on Judgment Day and He wasn’t judging yet.
Being a Jesus follower is actually pretty simple.
The hard part is letting go of all the lies humans, well-meaning or not, tell us, dropping the bad habits that don’t serve us as well as we once thought they did, and learning to set boundaries that are healthy because our bodies have limits and how can we give freely, and out of love, if we are exhausted and feel taken advantage of?
As we learn the heart of Jesus, we get used to hearing from the Holy Spirit. We learn what our calling is. For some people it is to be parents. For some it is to be a teacher. For some it is to be an encourager. Everyone has an a calling. You wont know if you don’t spend time with God and the best way to learn His voice is to be in the word.
I ran into another Jesus follower the other day. She has been through a TREMENDOUS time in the last few years and she has a HUGE calling on her life. Not unlike myself. I didn’t even know what to say to her. I was astounded by the power that resonated off of both of us. We don’t even cross paths very often. I have been watching her on Facebook. All I could say was: Be blessed. She said the same and we kept going on our own paths.
Sometimes that is all we can say; or all we should say. If I had said more to this amazing person, my human insecurities might have come up and she has come through too much to deserve that. God is dealing with us in different ways. I am so happy for her. I want her to stay exuberant.
This is another reason why it is so important to read the bible. How else can you recharge and reset when we live in a world that is so anti-whatever we are called to do, if we aren’t plugging into God? I know the bible is not perfect. It has been inspired by God, but written and manipulated by men. But it is also beautiful and inspiring, if you really push in and ask the right questions. I don’t remember when I learned this but somewhere, I learned that it was acceptable to ask God questions and wait for the answers. It might take a long time or just a few seconds, but He always answers. You might also have to be open to hearing Him too. Some people are scared of hearing Him but the Jews missed out on a lot of blessings because they were afraid to see His face. They believed they would die if they saw Him and so it was true.
In actuality, He created us for His good pleasure and He delights in us. Just the fact that you think of Him makes Him happy. Imagine what you taking the time to ask Him a question and waiting for the answer, must do for Him. God is a lot more open and loving than I ever imagined or was taught as a child. He wants us to love each other and make space for each other. There is no one that God doesn’t love. That might be hard to imagine, but it is true. It is also hard to reciprocate but God and I are working on that in me. Anyone that wants to honor that in themselves can ask for that. God in all His love and mercy is glad to give good things to His children.
God doesn’t care if we are republicans or democrats, straight or gay, able bodied or disabled. He does not care where our ancestors were born or what color our skin is. He finds all of us fascinating because He created all of us. In heaven, we will be like angels and wont have bodies like we do now, so sex and gender wont matter anymore. In heaven, I imagine there is a great big dining room table for us to fellowship at. Will you be comfortable there if you didn’t learn to live with different types of people on earth?
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I am writing regarding a post I saw about a budget proposal that includes the highest tax increase in Washington State history. The writer of this post believes that because of record breaking spending, we are consistently spending more money than we bring in. If this is the case, then before you raise our taxes, it seems you should take an honest look at our budget and reign in spending now before you spend another dime.
At this time, United States citizens are already spending a lot of money just to live and are worried about where we will be in a few months as our president has placed us in a tariff war and a recession might be on the way. We are not interested in increased property taxes, a 50% business and occupation tax increase, or to have not only national but statewide increases on costs of goods and services.
My friend, I strongly encourage you to rethink your budget if you want to remain in office.
I’m thankful because I’m starting to get better at getting my self care routine down every day. Getting hit with the need for radiation for my cancer and DJT as president at the same time, leveled me. I have accepted that radiation is my next step and although I am afraid, I am choosing to be brave.
The hell that our president and the republican congressmen have created or allowed, is, at the very least exhausting. It is hard to watch evidence of hatred, selfishness and power mongering. My pain levels have increased. It is hard to get out of bed. Since I can’t take pain meds, I sleep when I hurt. This is why I don’t have a job. No employer would be able to rely on me. This is why my disability check helps my family every month. Hopefully I will still get one in April and the following months.
My disability check supplies a tiny amount of money that goes into savings, a payment to my doctor bills and three creditors, it pays for our car insurance, our phones, some groceries, our toiletries, our cleaning supplies, it pays for my sister’s cat’s supplies because she needs help with that, it pays for my doTERRA and other supplements that we rely on for our health and our one splurge, Karen’s ESPN app. When all these are paid, my check is gone and Karen G Clemenson pays for everything else, including what my insurance doesn’t cover on my 14 prescriptions. I am blessed to have a wife that can and will work 3 jobs to take care of us.
We never go on holiday. We have never been on a honeymoon. We might get to go to a movie if someone gives us movie passes. We are very boring people and it is good that we like to be at home because we can’t afford to go much of anywhere else. I do my best to make sure there is food in the fridge for when Karen runs in, so she can eat something. I clean and mend her clothes so she always looks presentable. All our clothes are secondhand. We help others where we can and we are helped by loved ones too.
I resent our president. I resent DOGE. The inspectors generals that DJT fired in his first week already did the job that DOGE is supposedly doing without firing tons of United States citizens, closing important programs and cutting off funds that saved lives around the globe. Stress doesn’t make my life better. It makes me sicker. Donald J. Trump is making me sicker. He is allowing children in impoverished countries to starve to death.
There is a video I saw on Facebook of a democratic legislator. I don’t know his name. It was not written anywhere in a caption or on the video but he described that there is food that both democrats and republicans voted to send to Sudan and Ethiopia that was grown in the United States. We paid for it and we sent it to these countries. It is sitting in warehouses in these countries. Current government officials have said we need to make it available, yet DOGE won’t make the funds available to open the warehouse doors. 150,000 people will die without this food. If you want to see the video, there is a link at the bottom of this article. Why is DOGE able to override our government?
I don’t want to live in a dictatorship. I don’t want to live in a country where the president can pick and choose which laws he will follow; where he will dishonor judges, whose job it is to interpret the law. 47 is a man without honor and no regard for law, unless he can bend it to benefit himself. He is a draft dodger and a liar. What will it take for the MAGAs to wake up?
What will it take for everyone to realize the value of every United States citizen and stop trying to politicize everything human? When I was growing up teachers taught me that people were different and that was ok. What was important was that we cared about and respected each other. If we didn’t like someone, we were kind to them, but we found someone else to play with. This philosophy has served me well for my entire life and I wish more people would adopt it.
I’m a sensory person, certain sounds and lights and feelings hurt me. I have learned to be patient with myself but high voices make me feel crazy. Some sopranos hurt my ears and sometimes make my skin crawl. But I am not asking for legislation to outlaw sopranos. I see videos of legislators making arguments about public schools, without proving that the problems originate from the school system. I see a lot of statements but I never hear any questions or answers to my questions when I want clarification. Men want to regulate what women do with their bodies and straight people want to regulate what transgender people do with theirs; but I believe that if you are not part of the group, you don’t have a right to define it.
Just because you don’t understand transgender or queer people doesn’t make them bad. They are humans, trying to live their life and be happy. If you don’t know them, how do you know if you don’t like them? Because someone told you they were bad? What if those people were wrong or misinformed? Why would you let your fear run your life? That would be like me letting cancer take over my body because I am afraid of radiation. It doesn’t make sense.
Removing women and people of color from history on military websites and maps at Arlington Cemetery is pathetic. Removing flags that represent Native tribes from Veterans Services buildings is a slap in the face to people that don’t deserve to be disrespected. Not allowing certain words like women or trauma in applications for government grants sends quite the message that our government is no longer caring for people or the very women that gave birth to all of us.
This is much bigger than my worries about losing my disability check and health insurance, although I am. Money and power are not the most important thing. DJT doesn’t believe this and this is the way he is leading our country. His goal is to make the rich richer and to hell with the rest of us. He doesn’t care about the national debt; he wants to increase it. Everything he is doing is making the United States of America weaker. But we don’t have to allow this. Folks, we are allowing some very dangerous things to happen. We can’t be silent. We must speak or stand or write or walk or do whatever we can to maintain our democracy and take it back from the Trump administration and the MAGA republican congressmen that have given up their power to DJT and his followers or we are going to become like Russia, Trump’s favorite friend.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I am writing regarding Trump’s executive order regarding 2 sexes. There can’t just be 2 sexes. At bare minimum, there must be 3 because there is a percentage of babies born that are intersex. Most babies are born with an identifiable penis or vagina, and these babies are identified as male and female, there are babies that are born with both, or they have chromosomes of both sexes or they are born looking as though they are one sex but they develop characteristics of the other sex and these people really are intersex people.
It doesn’t matter if Trump wants to write an executive order stating his opinion about it, when we have scientific proof that we have, at least 3 sexes, but many more when we consider the variations that sometime occur in chromosomes and genes and genitalia. This doesn’t even consider people with gender dysphoria. Science set aside, I believe that gender expression should be protected under the 1st amendment. I should be able to express myself however I want in an honest and open manner as long as I am dressed in public spaces and not breaking any laws regarding modesty.
I am seeing that conservative states are beginning to write legislation that bans transgender people from being. I find this appalling. To fine or jail someone for existing is ridiculous and wrong. When is it enough? When will people see that legislating humanity is not how to move forward but just drags us back in time. My pre-school teacher taught me that if you didn’t like someone, find someone else to play with. This rule has served me well for my entire life.
I have seen several videos of transgender people that have received “corrected” passports with the sex they were assigned at birth. These people have transitioned and no longer look like this sex. This might just seem like a letter on their passport to some but it could put them in danger in certain countries and circumstances. DJT is endangering United States citizens. He is also empowering hate towards transgender people and the queer community in the United States. This must stop.
You have the power to overturn the president. He must answer to you. Please do your job.
My argument for FEMA is based on my very limited trauma response training and my limited but, in my opinion, larger experiences with trauma. When your group has undergone a traumatic experience, they may be in shock, they may be confused, they may not be able to cope or make good decisions. There might be medical conditions that need addressing. There are many reasons that the group cannot take care of itself.
DJT has stated in his executive order that he wants states to handle their own emergencies.
With our knowledge of trauma, it is helpful if someone from the outside, that is not currently dealing with trauma and can see clearly, might be better able to serve those who are in a crisis. Even if the help is limited, time constrained or must be paid back, it is helpful in the moment to have someone who hasn’t just lost their loved ones or their possessions or home to be strong for others.
Fundraising efforts, donation collection and allocating should not have to be done by people that are grieving. A president that doesn’t understand this is not ready to lead people. The stoppage of FEMA is wrong.
There are United States citizens in Kansas, Texas, Arkansas, Georgia and Oklahoma that have been affected by severe weather, not to mention parts of Oregon and maybe more that I have missed. FEMA was not perfect, but they did the best they could to help people in our country when they needed it. If it is time to rebuild the program, do it, but keep it running while you do. Caring for our people is not rocket science. It is what we do.
The president is one man. I have read the constitution. Congress was meant to hold the power until the people voted them out. This was so no one person would run our government. Our current president doesn’t understand that his job is to uphold the law, not bend it to his will. Please do your job.
I have been waiting patiently to hear of the reinstatement of the Inspectors Generals that Trump fired the first week of his term. It was a shock to hear about but it has become a greater shock that you have done nothing to fix this situation.
I understand that maybe these people do not want their jobs back after this type of humiliation but I believe in checks and balances, as our founding leaders foresaw we would need to ensure protection from leaders that didn’t respect our laws or the constitution. What are you doing to restore the balance in our country where nonpartisan people make sure that we are safe and programs are not being taken advantage of?
I personally don’t believe DOGE has my personal best interests in mind. How could it, when its leader is best friends with the president and one of his largest campaign donors? DOGE cannot be nonpartisan. In fact, DOGE was not voted in by the people so there two counts against it, in my opinion.
I am of the mindset, as Trump becomes more and more brazen that he does not respect the laws of the United States of America and should not be our president. We need to have our Inspectors Generals restored in order to protect us from a corrupt regime that only follows the laws that they want to.
I am very concerned that am hearing conflicting messages regarding Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare. As a disabled person I rely on two of these programs. I know many people who also rely on these programs. My wife, Karen G Clemenson, is a veteran and she too has had trouble receiving services in the past and now we see veterans being fired and services being slashed. How does this encourage young people to serve our country if they know they won’t be supported if they come home and need help?
The plans of the Trump administration do not serve the everyday people in the United States. Tax cuts for the wealthy do not build GDP or add to our economy. Rich people just hold their money in savings accounts. This might help our interest rates but not the interest of the people. Cutting the programs of the least of these is not going to strengthen America.
I encourage you to assert the power given to you by our Constitution and overpower our reckless president. His tariffs and lack of regard for first amendment rights for citizens and press are childish. His comments regarding being king are unconstitutional. His authoritarian and transactional methods of leadership are not American, at least in the way that we have worked hard to build relationships with other countries over the years.
Nana never spoke about her cancer and I never asked her to. I wish I had. Maybe she would tell me what I am feeling is normal. I have done everything the doctors have told me to do, no matter how painful or humiliating and still the cancer lives inside me. I am a very modest person and I have had more strangers look at me naked in the last 3 years than I have in my entire life and I don’t even get the joy of being a mother. I knew I never would, even when I was young, but sometimes that pain feels new again. I know I am tired of the fight inside me.
Nana was a lady; very graceful and well-spoken. She taught me to be a lady, as well. I was often teased by my friends for some of my lady-like habits and called a snob for my vocabulary. Nana hated swearing. She said there were so many wonderful adverbs to choose from, why did people have to resort to such low speech? I remember, even my father’s second wife would tell me that she hated the look I got on my face when she swore, she felt judged. I don’t know what look she was talking about, but other people said the same thing. All I can say about my father’s second wife, is she is not a lady. In fact, after years in therapy and trying to make peace with not fitting in, I saw her flip off one of my relatives at a Christmas party and my thought came loud and clear: Why am I trying so hard? I don’t like these people and they don’t like me. I wouldn’t put this effort into strangers.
I can’t say I never swear, the fact still remains, I am the biological daughter of a sailor (Coast Guard) and my father was my preferred parent until he left us and between him and the kids at school, I learned a lot of ways to use words that Nana was not going to teach me, but I have to get pretty angry to use those words. But I am beyond even these words right now.
I am exhausted. The kind of tired that sleep can’t fix because when I do sleep, I have nightmares. I know it is stress. Considering radiation for my next cancer step has been difficult. It has been me, accepting that my body has failed the medication route. It is me accepting another, probably, painful treatment and more people looking at my naked body. It is me wondering if this will actually work and worrying about the side effects that the doctors can’t know about because I have fibromyalgia and she is a vindictive bear and she doesn’t like to be poked. It is me having sharp shooting pain in my face as my trigeminal neuralgia is triggered and stiff jaw joints as my TMJ joins in the party.
But is also the memories that are being unpacked that I don’t want to remember. My youngest sibling and my nephew are in town. They are helping my mother clean out her house. She is getting ready to sell her house and move out of state. My mother and I have made as much peace as we can. We know we love each other but we can’t have a relationship. We pray for each other. She emailed me and told me she would put my things in a storage unit and send the key to the gym so we could come get it. I thanked her. But my sibling started emailing me. I have had no contact with this sibling for years. The last time we communicated they told me to stop contacting their children.
All my siblings have said this to me.
Being an auntie was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and those relationships were my most dear until I married Karen. I loved listening to the kids. I loved playing with them. I did not want to be their parent. I wanted to be their auntie. But my siblings felt like I wanted too much.
When my sibling wanted me to come to my mother’s house to unpack the garage that I had cleaned so many times over the years, where half of my things went into when we moved there because my new room was half the size of my old room, where I collected things to finally move out one day, even if I could have done it, I could not have done it with them there. I had always done everything alone. This sibling offered up my ability to see my nephew as a prize and it felt a punch in the stomach.
My nephew is a man now. He could choose to have a relationship with me if he wants to. I won’t have his parent be a go-between. I already gave all I could give to them when I helped to raise my siblings, and ALL that entails, and when I helped to take care of their babies, until they didn’t need me anymore and they told me to stay away from their children. As much as I love my nephew and cherish every moment I spent with him, I want a real relationship, not one build on manipulation. Even if that wasn’t the intent, that is what it felt like.
Manipulation is what I remember growing up. If I put up with a certain amount of abuse, I got a few new books. If I got my hair done, I owed a certain amount of chores, more than usual, even though I was on call 24/7 always. On the day my father and his second wife told us they got married (yes they didn’t even tell us they were getting married or invite us, even though they had lived together for a few years) his wife told us that their marriage would be more important than any of us kids. At least that statement was true. I always felt like I was being crushed. If I ever felt happy, there was always someone that knew how to take it away from me, so I learned to swallow myself.
My nieces and nephews were the only people in my family that I let see the real me. I let them see my joy, curiosity, love, mercy, compassion…anything good that was in me. I know that maybe that was hard for my siblings to see because that was not the Summer they ever got. They were raised by an angry, abused, absent Summer. They got the worst of me most of the time. I think my youngest sibling may have seen some of my goodness, but when they told me to stay away from their children, it had been probably years since they had seen anything good from me unless it was directed at their children.
Years later, I had always thought I had taken all the abuse, which is what I wanted, but after so much therapy, it became truth to me that that was probably not true, even though it looked like they had it easier, that doesn’t mean they were in a healthy environment. My siblings have their own traumas, even if they don’t remember them or have PTSD like I do. They might not mean to hurt me but they do. I had to choose myself at some point. And that point came when I was diagnosed with cancer.
I wish Nana and Grandpa were here. They always knew what to say. I was watching an interview of Pete Buttigieg on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and it was so refreshing. Although Grandpa was a republican, Buttigieg being a democrat, doesn’t change the way he speaks from reminding me of Grandpa. He always pauses after a question to consider his words carefully and he uses beautiful words that mean tremendous things and when he has the opportunity to say something negative, he always takes the high road, while having a dry sense of humor. I know that many people, that are no longer in my life, might not agree with me, but I try to live my life in a way that emulates my favorite parts of Nana and Grandpa. People that do not bring out the best in me, or I don’t bring out the best in them, can’t be given much of my time because it is not healthy for either of us. This doesn’t mean I don’t have love for them, it actually means I am giving them the most love I have for them, by not abusing them or myself.
I know I can’t have a relationship with my parents. My father chose his second wife and I won’t have her in my life. I don’t think I can have my siblings in my life because I don’t think I can forgive them for removing their children from my life. I know they didn’t understand my relationship with their kids; they probably thought I wanted more than I actually did but I just wanted to love them and to be part of their life, to watch them grow and listen to what the kids had to say. I know my siblings didn’t like it when I told them what their kids actually wanted, but we come from a family where kids tend to be seen as extensions of the parents and not actually individuals and I didn’t want my siblings to make the same mistakes our parents made. My parents didn’t know me at all, if they did, they sure didn’t communicate it well to me, or they didn’t care. Neither did my siblings. In fact, I don’t know my siblings either.
I am curious about my nieces and nephews. They are all adults now. I assume they are busy with their own lives. Maybe some day they will Google me and reach out. I would love that.
Today, while I wrote this, I defrosted the freezer and cleaned out the microwave. As I washed the plate for the microwave, I thought of Nana because I wash dishes like she does. She often didn’t use a brush or wash cloth to wash just one dish, she just used her hands, scraping at hard spots with her finger nail. The other night I had a dream that Grandpa had set up a new game for one of my siblings and I to play. This particular sibling and I have no relationship. But while we played we were having a great time.I wondered why I would have a dream like that. After praying about it, I know that part of the reason we don’t get a long is that we are too alike, but also we didn’t get an opportunity to be playmates. Dad left too early and I had to become a grown up. Grandpa was letting us play in my dream and we were having fun. I am glad that Nana and Grandpa are still coaching.
If you want to watch that interview with Pete Buttigieg on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert:
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Tuesday I had an MRI. I have had lots of MRIs since my cancer diagnosis. I have had imaging at PeaceHealth St John, Longview Radiology, Legacy Salmon Creek, Legacy Mount Hood, Vancouver Clinic and now Good Samaritan Hospital in Portland and this one was the worst experiences ever. I am not saying this because of any fault of the medical team, they were wonderful, it was the equipment. Although I did stop counting the pokes at 8 for IV for the contrast dye. My veins are thin, deep and they roll. I have made sure to drink 3 liters of fluid everyday and I drank 1 liter and 24 oz before I went in Tuesday. It is all I can do to help. The specialists were busy so they kept trying…<
I have always got to wear my own clothes for MRIs. Not this time. They were focused on my uterus and unlike any other time I have had an MRI on my uterus, there was a nurse that came in to put some gel inside me to make my uterus more visible. This was uncomfortable and messy.
Eventually they decided to start the imaging until the specialist was available to get my IV in place. I’m as positive as I can be because I know if I make their job easier, I can be done and go home faster but I am a big woman with chronic pain and I am not going to lie. This MRI was a struggle.
When the specialists were available they were confident they would find a vein because they brought an ultrasound. They were successful but I swear they scraped my bone to do it. That was very painful; and I have an extremely high pain tolerance.
I didn’t want to go back in that tube. But I kept my breathing exercises going and my eyes shut and when I couldn’t stand it, I would look outside the tube to the ceiling and not think about the tube.
The sounds and shakes and quakes were different then I had experienced before. My body often answers quakes back with twitches but there was no room in the tube for that. So I kept breathing carefully.
I felt so beat up when I was done. I don’t usually let people help me, but this time I was in so much pain and I thought my back had frozen, so I did let the technician help me sit up. They kept complimenting me on how well I did, and telling me how most people can only do 10 minutes. But I knew if we stopped, we would just have to start over. They told me, most people don’t know that, but I do because I pay attention and my goal is always to find the best way to get done and not have to come back.
When I saw myself in the mirror, I kind of understood why they were so complimentary. I looked like I had been in battle. My hair was huge, my face was red, even the whites of my eyes were red.
The reason for the MRI was to be prepared for my consult with a Radiation Oncologist, which I had yesterday. My Gynecological Oncologist had referred me to him because it has been almost 3 years since I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and although it doesn’t seem to growing, it also won’t go away and my body is showing exhaustion from the treatments. I have always fought my weight and the drugs to treat this type of cancer cause weight gain and since I can’t get down to a weight that Dr Westhoff feels safe having me hang upside down for the procedure while they force air into my lungs and hope they don’t collapse, she really wants me to consider radiation and this particular doctor, at this hospital, has a procedure, she feels would work best for me.
Before I met Dr Dyer, I knew very little about radiation, but I was scared of it. My uterus is close to my hips, which already have damage from arthritis. I was scared that radiation could cause more damage to my hips, but Dr Dyer assured me that there was only a 1% chance of damage to my hips or my bladder or my bowel. I purposely am not willing to Google anything because I have anxiety disorder and I have freaked myself out online before and I am already scared. Dr Dyer appreciated this and he gave me a link to find the answers I needed to help me make an educated decision.
Types of Radiation Therapy:
External Beam Radiation Therapy – A large machine aims radiation at the cancer site through the skin and other tissue to reach the tumor. It is given in small doses, or fractions. It is given 5 days a week for 6 weeks.
Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy – Using many small beams of different strengths, focusing high doses of radiation at the tumor and smaller doses to the normal tissue around the tumor.
Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy – A highly specialized type of external beam radiation therapy used to treat cancer that has spread to the liver, lungs or bone. High doses of radiation are delivered to the metastatic site or sites using very precise beams. This type of therapy is usually delivered in 5 or fewer sessions.
Brachytherapy – A type of internal radiation therapy used for uterine cancer, where the radiation is put inside the body, either directly inside the tumor or close to it. This may be done several times to deliver a safe dose.
Side effects include:
skin irritation, tenderness and redness
fatigue
diarrhea
frequent urination or pain while eliminating
nausea
Most side effects decrease over time when treatment is over. There is a chance that long-term effects on fertility, sexual health and bowel and bladder function will arise.
Since I was diagnosed, I have had several D&C’s in order to do biopsies and to remove any obvious cancer. I have an IUD that delivers hormone therapy to me. I also take Megestrol twice a day. These treatments have kept my cancer in stage 1 but, the treatments have not killed the cancer. The goal, all along has been to have a hysterectomy but Megestrol also causes weight gain. I have always fought my weight so we also tried Mounjaro to help me lose weight. I did lose 50 lbs but then it stopped working, I was tired of the side effects and we just could not afford it anymore. $140 for a month, after insurance was too much. I stopped taking Mounjaro in January, and at my primary appointment with Dr Canada, on February 19, I found I had gained 15 lbs.
I was bummed about the weight gain so I had to realize that I hadn’t been diligent with getting enough fluids in daily. So I fixed that. I also started adding doTERRA MetaPWR oil to my water which tastes great and helps me drink more and not bloat up. I was still faithful to my daily workout. I had got lazy about portion sizes so I reigned that in a bit. I did some research and found that cinnamon was used during bible days to treat diabetes. I already take a tsp every day in my oatmeal and I think that might be why my a1c is 6.5, but I don’t think I can force myself to eat more, every day so I bought a supplement. My stomach is so sensitive and while I was researching something else, I found that ginger root is good for balancing the flora in our gut. I love ginger but I am not going to be able to find a way to get it in my diet every day, so I bought a supplement and since I began taking it, my stomach is so much more friendly to me. I already have a blend of oils I put on my abdomen nightly that has ginger oil in it, but the supplement has helped too. So even though I take a great probiotic/prebiotic, I am loving the ginger too! I also found a video that explained that if I took Camu Camu, Apple Cider Vinegar and Guarana supplements before I went to bed it should have the same affects as Mounjaro, without the side effects, which were brutal. I started taking those on Wednesday. When I weighed in yesterday, I found I had lost 4 lbs. I don’t know if the new supplements are working. The video said these supplements should show a loss of 2 lbs per day. I am always a cynic but even if it is just a placebo effect, I will take it.
Dr Westhoff, my gynecological oncologists, wants me down another 35 lbs before we do the hysterectomy, which is still the plan, even with radiation because she doesn’t want the cancer to be able to come back. With the cancer gone, I can stop taking the Megestrol, which causes weight gain. I can also stop taking Eliquis because Endometrial Cancer also causes blood clots, which I never had before I had cancer. So I can get rid of two expensive medications and have an easier time losing weight.
Dr Dyer was confident that Brachytherapy was the treatment that was going to be the most successful for me. It would be done while I was asleep. About 1 time per week for 5 weeks.
Although I am still scared, I think I am ready to move forward and choose radiation. I want to be done with cancer. I want to stop taking a few of my 15 prescriptions. I want to drop one of my 14 diagnoses.
Karen thought Dr Dyer was very thorough. She feels like radiation doesn’t seem to be super risky, according to what Dr Dyer said. Since I have one of the better cancers to get because it is easier to treat, she thinks that it is good to choose this treatment. We have goals for our future and getting rid of this cancer is a good choice. I think we are on the same page.
When I see Dr Dyer next, he will have to give me a pelvic exam. My images looked different than I have seen them before. My uterus has always been large. It is still large, but no one has ever shown me my vagina and cervix before. It is very narrow and curved. Dr Dyer said he needs to see if he can actually get in there to do what he needs to do. As most doctors do, they downplay pain. As a man, he has no idea what it feels like to have a pelvic exam and I didn’t really need to see a picture to know I am very narrow and curved, but it answered my questions. I told Karen she definitely must come with me because I intend to be stoned out of my mind and so she will have to speak for me. She smiled, and agreed she would. I never leave the house inebriated but I don’t want to remember my next appointment with Dr Dyer no matter how friendly or thorough he is.
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Someone asked me, today, if I thought all people that supported 47 were a certain kind of people. They used an acronym that I don’t know and that Google doesn’t know so I couldn’t answer their question. They were responding to a post that was actually a rough draft for my post: Why Aren’t People Angry Like Me? that ended up on my blog, so if they didn’t read my blog they didn’t get to read where I went with it. But regardless, I was very angry when I wrote both posts. But I have been thinking about who supports 47.
I still agree with what I wrote, but the level of feeling has died down and I haven’t read any news or watched any news for 5 days. I have been focusing on me. Reading my bible. Reading books that I want to read, which are not light reads, but are not directly related to 47, which tends to be a topic that gets me going pretty fast.
Left to my own peace-loving self, I believe that most people, regardless of where their politics lie, are good people; helpful people. If I had a house and it was on fire, I would not ask that only firefighters of one party show up at my house because the other party would not do a good job. If you were walking down the street and you saw me trying to save my family, you would probably help me pull my family from my burning house, or at least make sure 911 had been called, and maybe even hold a hose towards my house for me, while I helped my loved ones. You might even pray with me while my house burnt down. We would never ask who we voted for. We would just be happy that my wife and I were safe and my cat was counted for and I was even able to grab the safe with our documents in it. We might hug each other and you would be glad that The Red Cross came and we had a safe place to go to that night until our insurance took care of this mess. We would never talk about politics. Even if one of were wearing a MAGA hat. Even if one of wasn’t a Jesus Follower, we still might hold a moment of silence and lift up positive thoughts to the universe for our new friendship. Because I believe that when we don’t let stuff get in the way of the good parts of humanity, we are all connected.
I have never been rich. But I have been related to people with money. I know how to act around people with money. I know what to do with money. I know how to make good decisions with money when I have it. But I love love more than money. I love people more than money. I am a chronically ill person with a body that doesn’t do what I want it to do most of the time and I can’t be a reliable employee so I rely on my disability checks. My wife is a genius but was never encouraged to go to college. When she finally tried, she had a brain aneurism and it has taken her a long time to overcome the financial problems that caused. But she is a hard worker and an asset at every job she has ever had, although, she is rarely paid much over minimum wage and hasn’t had full-time hours in almost a year. But we have love and we really like each other. We have always enjoyed being with each other, even when we were just friends. So I consider us very wealthy.
We will probably never see a year where we make over $60,000, let alone $400,000. I am ok with that. It seems like a lot of responsibility. But you better believe, we are generous with the small amount we now have, so I know it would be just that much more fun to give if we had more! That is the way we live.
I am neither a republican or a democrat. I believe if both parties are truthful to their platforms, they balance each other out and I like that. But I don’t even think either party has been totally truthful to their own platforms for a long time. I miss when republicans wanted a balanced budget. They would have never voted to raise the debt ceiling before now, and especially not at the hundreds of trillions of dollars that 47 has proposed. Republicans like low taxes but in their hay day they would have seen that we can’t afford to cut taxes with our national debt this high. I don’t mind that democrats are often called socialists, a little socialistic behavior is good for the economy when you have children in homes that can’t feed them; how will they ever rise above their situation if they don’t get a good education and healthy food? So schools should be fully funded and children should be fed and have health insurance; they are our future. Anything we can do to help families, we should do because it helps children grow up and, “be best,” to borrow a phrase from our First Lady.
I am saddened that 47 is so set against the growth in civil rights we have made. We live in a world, where it is still not fair to be a person of color, a woman, a queer person, disabled, a senior citizen or a naturalized United States citizen and these groups of people still need help. They don’t need to be stomped on, erased or forgotten. This program to erase Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is downright mean. I don’t know why some white men need to be coddled so much. As a fellow white person, even though my family is only 3 and 4 generations in the United States, so yes, I think immigration is wonderful, I would like to remind you that white people stole this land from Natives. White people should not be the dominate race here.
I am avoiding the news this week. I am doing it on purpose. My anger got too big for me to handle last week. I have cancer. I often forget about that. With my 14 diagnosis, only one of them can be cured and it is the cancer. 4 of them are mental and the rest or physical and I never feel great. So the cramping and the exhaustion, they could also be something else. But I need to not be so stressed out that I am screaming at my wife when she comes home or I can’t answer a question without crying or shaking or having nightmares. My therapist is right. There is nothing I can do to change the trajectory of where things are going in our government. I don’t have time to fact check every post people put out there to make sure it is true, but many of them are complete lies. There are only so many emails I can send to my representatives.
What kind of people do I think support 47?
If I had to guess, people that like money, people that want more money and think he can deliver.
I think people that think it is ok to define other people and people groups, even if they have no idea what it is like to be those kinds of people, and tell them how to live their life, support him because he seems to be doing their beck and call, pretty well.
I think people that don’t have faith in science or believe that we need to change how we use our natural resources before we drown ourselves and scorch the sky, probably support 47.
I think people that believe that vaccines are dangerous for everyone to use and think they don’t need to care about themselves or their loved ones enough to find out if there is a medical reason why they should avoid them, or just a stubborn streak that is stopping them from protecting themselves and their neighbor, probably like the cabinet that 47 has chosen; regardless of the years of science that proves that vaccines cause disease to be eradicated.
I think that many people have thought that government has been too big for a long time, but I am not sure many of them had what is happening in mind when they said to drain the swamp. Or maybe they did, maybe people that support 47 like that hundreds of thousands of people are out of living wage jobs and have no health insurance and many programs that we have grown accustomed to accessing, are working worse that ever now that we don’t have people to man them. Maybe those people are very happy about this. I don’t know. I haven’t done a poll to see what kind of people still support 47. But I know that in April we have been waiting for a year for my wife’s FMLA benefits from when she had her hysterectomy. She has applied for help with the VA several times and she tends to get lost in the shuffle. I have sent in paperwork over a year ago for a disabled plaque so I can park closer to buildings, over a year ago and it has never come. I also ordered a copy of my birth certificate about 2 months ago; I was born in Washington State…it hasn’t come yet. All these federal programs could work better and I don’t think firing people is going to make them more efficient.
I also think that white supremacists and christian nationalist like 47 a lot. I think he likes them too. He gives the racists a freedom they haven’t had a in long time. A place to put their hatred. Even though I have heard him say he is not a christian, I have also heard him say he likes how loyal christians are. They definitely can be that.
I do know that a lot of people that support 47, seem to love the massive amounts of deportations of illegal immigrants, even if they are not criminals and need asylum, even though one of our greatest United States symbols is The Statue if Liberty and at her feet is a plaque that says: Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door! The Statue of Liberty – Ellis Island Foundation, Inc. This is what the Clemensons would have seen when they came over from Norway to Ellis Island and created their new name for a new life.
There might be more kinds of people that support 47. I don’t want to take my imagination any further.
One of the books I am reading is the founding documents of the United States. I bought it because I wanted a copy of The Constitution but I am also finding a lot in the other documents that are available in the foundation of the United States of America. Our colonists were really abused by England’s king. Many times, in more than one document it is stated that we will not have a king. The reasons are made very clear in more than one document. A king is not all powerful. He must still answer to his Parliament, however he still has power and he did some horrible things to us in his anger and attempt to own us. We have forgotten this. 47’s comments about being king, whether they are a joke or not, are not only unconstitutional, but need to stop. There is a reason we chose our type of government. We chose a president that answered and was held accountable and had less power than our congress on purpose. Our congress is made up of elected officials that can be voted out so that we the people hold the power. This is important to remember. This our country. The United States of America is 47’s too, but he is just one man and he works for us.
Another book I am reading is called Frauen. Each chapter is an interview of a married woman during the Third Reich. Depending on the social class or education level of each woman, the interview is vastly different. The experiences of these women are sometimes similar and sometimes extremely different. Some of the women knew Jewish people and were empathetic to the situation for them. Some women knew that not only Jews, but anyone that wasn’t what was what was considered perfect (disabled people, elderly, queer, gypsies, spies, criminals, black people, etc) were in the work camps and some camps were specifically death camps. Some women had an idea of what happened in the camps, but they were terrified and didn’t talk about it because they might end up there too. Some women didn’t know any Jews and only knew the propaganda they had been taught about the “dirty Jews.” Each story is hard to read. I spent most of my high school experience studying the holocaust, but it was always from the viewpoint of the survivors of the camps. I have never read anything from the people on the outside. Some of these people lived right next to the camps and they had to “not know.” Ignorant, uneducated people that were very religious, although Hitler did not believe in religion and religion was not part of Nazism, were what he wanted. These people were the easiest to manipulate.
I can see why people keep saying they see similarities to now and the Third Reich. But this is not 1933 and we are not in Germany, where we have just lost World War I and we have not recovered yet.
We are The United States of America. We do things our own way. We need to remember this. 47 is president, but this is our country.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I want to confess to you that I am very human. That even though I am a Jesus Follower and I have been all of my life and I have seen Him do amazing things that I am still afraid. I wake up every day and thank Him for my blessings, because I am a blessed woman, and I pour my heart out because I am afraid, not just for myself but for people that don’t know the faith I do. I am also angry. So angry. More angry than I have been in many years because people that claim to be christians are so selfish and have voted in an antichrist as our president and prepared his way with bills in Congress so he can’t be impeached, and voted in his budget that will not pay down any of our debt but will increase it by hundreds of trillions every year, take money away from children, elderly, veterans and the sick, while giving more money to people that already have more than enough. Where is the mercy and grace in this? I ask God every day to help me not sin in my anger, but I know the thoughts I think, and they are not pure. I am sorry.
To feel so unimportant, to feel so erased, and to know so many feel this way, doesn’t make me want to pray for our president or our Congress, although, out of obedience, sometimes I do and sometimes it is even the kind of prayers God can honor, because I am always honest with God and He knows I am human and He knows where I fall short and where I let myself imagine letting all the people that are hurting others go in my mind, because I feel powerless, not because I condone violence or murder, but because I feel my pain and the pain of others and in moments of exhaustion, it seems the only way to make it stop. But I know I am wrong. I know violence only begets more violence and peace is what I really want. Yet this president doesn’t like peace, he thrives in chaos and in making people uncomfortable, so while he is in office, this is what we have.
I have accepted that all blame doesn’t belong on 47 or Musk. They have been empowered by Congress. And Congress has been empowered by republicans, regular people that do not want the same things I want. But I am still very angry. Hopefully God will be able to show me what to do with my anger because I don’t believe anger has to be bad. Jesus got angry. For many of the same reasons I am angry now.
I have a friend that tells me government is too big. It shouldn’t be in our religion, schools and such. I agree, government should stay out of religion, although I don’t mind if churches pay taxes. I also think schools need to be fully funded and offer meals to children and if that means that we need federal funding to do it, than so be it. Some families need more help than others and children should not suffer because their parents or their states can’t or won’t excel. I also think, as the bible says, we should mind our own business and get the hell out of each other’s doctor appointments and procedures. Adults should be able to have any medical procedure necessary for their medical and mental wellness and it should not be a political issue but a decision made between individuals and their medical team alone. What a waste of time and resources we have created by politicizingabortion or gender affirming care! But there are other government services that are being cut right now that are important: transportation, food inspection, national parks are just a few. Some government jobs make it easier to work with other countries, get to work, have safe food to eat, prevent disease through vaccinations and new treatments, go to parks to relieve stress and have fun, help people pay their bills because they are too sick or old to work, just for example.
Jesus said it would be hard for the rich to get the heaven. He said this because He expected us to share. He told us to share freely. He said to not store up things on earth, but in heaven. Many of these people that agree with what is happening want to say they are christians but they don’t want to share, even when what they have more than enough.
I read that even though the goal of DOGE is to find waste, that 47 and Musk were talking about giving the money they found to the people, but not to the people that need it, the people that make over $400,000 per year. This statement makes me angry, not because I won’t get any of that money, but because any money they find should go directly to pay down our national debt. This is also why I am angry about tax cuts for the wealthy. Fiscally we have no business cutting taxes when our national debt is the highest it has ever been. I would even not be so angry about the rape of Medicaid and SNAP programs if it was going to pay down our national debt, but it isn’t, it going to make up for the tax cuts for people that don’t need it.
Why aren’t people storming the White House? I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t understand why these decisions are terrible, not just nationally but globally? The decisions that are being made are going to make The United States of America weak in every aspect. Why aren’t people angry like me?
On top of all of my feelings, to be truthful, my fears and anger are not just about other people. My feelings and fears are about me. I feel like I did as a child. Always knowing that I would have a terrible thing to deal with every day, but not knowing what it would be, who it would be about and how much it would hurt. Never knowing which version of my parent would show up. Never having the tools I needed to handle the stress and emotional neglect and violence I had to shoulder in my abusive, while well-meaning family. I hate feeling like I can’t protect myself or my neighbor. I don’t like feeling like a child. I find myself always looking over my shoulder, checking my email for a news article and trying to deal with that constant pain in my stomach and heart because I know people are hurting because of the choices of politicians and people that I can do nothing about, except pray. And even though I know this is enough, it doesn’t feel like it, because you can pray for someone for your whole life and then realize that they get to choose to be who they are and they might never align with your prayers because they have the right to be who they want to be, no matter what you ask God for. I know this because I prayed for my family to love me all my life, to know the God I knew, for them to hear me and they can’t do it or wont do it.
Because we all get to choose who we are, even if they make laws that say otherwise. 47 can make all the executive orders he wants about gender but Queer and Trans people have always existed and they always will. You can’t erase us. You can make abortion illegal, but they will always happen, whether you like them or not. The more pressure you put on humanity, the more we fight back. You can accuse President Zelenskyy of not being grateful or not wearing the appropriate suit when he visits but he still didn’t start the war in his country, and we know that Russia did and if World War III begins, it might just be because 47 has raised tariffs to a ridiculous level against our biggest trading partners, while teasing them with adding them to the United States, antagonizing the world with buying them out and not supporting organizations that we have always supported, to keep the world in balance, until every country gets sick of 47 shooting off his mouth and they decide to shoot at us and then what will we do.
Yes I am very angry.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I was on Facebook, the other day, and I found myself on a feed of a more conservative perspective, where people were enjoying their right to free speech, and I came to realize that these people were the people that voted in the politicians that are responsible for the chaos we are in right now. I always hate it when people just blame the president for every issue we have because the president only has the power Congress allows them. Congress is more powerful than the president. And it is Congress that has empowered 47 and Musk. But it is voters that empowered Congress and 47 and Musk.
The lack of care for individuals, these people showed, should not surprise me. They were ok with thousands of people losing their jobs and health insurance. They were ok with the impersonal way these people are being let go. They were happy with the fear that some of us feel. They considered anyone that disagreed with them garbage and felt free to say it in all sorts of nasty ways. I didn’t comment because I knew they couldn’t hear me. The inalienable right of every man to pursue their happiness was irrelevant to anyone but themselves.
As we watch our scientists lose their jobs and funding, I wonder if anyone with the power has considered that this investment in future knowledge is part of our culture and power. That our reach for science compels us to find answers for illness and technology that also creates relationships even with our enemies. As we isolate ourselves from a world that we helped create on a global scale, this sudden rejection is not going to make us better or great. As our Congress allows our president to run his mouth, unchecked, one day the other countries will get sick of the stress he brings and we can only wonder when war, which our country had been able to keep off our shores for a very long time, might just come to meet us and there will be no one to help us.
I know that all presidents reject executive orders and projects of previous presidents, but the extent that 47 has done this is extreme. Someone asked me about what I thought about the pipeline project that Biden stopped and laid off workers, that Trump had begun when he was 45. But in actuality, that project was begun when Obama was president and before they could get too far, testing showed that the pipeline would poison the waters that the pipeline would be under. It would affect the fish, animals and people that were around that water, so it was stopped by Obama. 45 started it again because he doesn’t care about our environment or our health. When Biden got into office, the same testing happened with the same results that were found when Obama was in office were estimated and Biden put a stop to the project. At the time, there were no definite numbers as to how many jobs the pipeline would create during the build, but they were only temporary jobs. In the end there would only be 50 jobs created to maintain the pipeline, once the project was completed. This, by far, is a much smaller number that the hundreds of thousands of jobs that have been lost and will continue to be cut because of 47’s crusade to make government smaller, even if we need those government workers.
This same person asked me about nurses, doctors and state, local and federal workers that lost their jobs because they refused to be vaccinated for COVID-19. This was an easy response because I have voiced my opinion many times that my rights are superseded by my responsibility to my neighbors to be vaccinated, because the bible says I must love my neighbor as myself, without prejudice. Since I am not allergic and have no medical reason that stops me from being vaccinated, I am up to date on all my vaccines. As a medical professional, I would expect all my medical team to follow the same standard I do. People that work in the medical field or want to work for the government, unless they have a medical reason for not getting vaccinated must live to a different standard as the general public. If they don’t like it, they should have picked a different job.
One of my friends said this: I think we are in the situation we are in because “we the people” have allowed our government to dictate our lives. We are allowing “agencies” to spend without accountability. The people who were supposed to be accountable were not doing their jobs. The fraud and/or theft that has been discovered is insane. The Fed’s shouldn’t be involved in education or religion or anything not constitutionally put in their power. Including health care and providing for the poor. When you ask a person to work and take part of their labor pay to support the well-being of another, you have made the working class a slave. Our country has been a complete mess for quite some time. You can’t blame this on a month.
I don’t really have an answer for all of this. When she shares her information with me, we often disagree, so we are good at agreeing to disagree, because we love each other.
Except for religion, which I believe should never touch politics, government was needed to create balance in schools where states would not or could not. Without government help, some children have no chance of rising above their situation. As far as helping the poor, a healthy working class creates a healthy tax payer, better parents and more stability in society; it adds to the economy when people spend that money on bills, groceries and goods.
The defunding of research not only holds us back from reaching for the answers we need for the future but the relationships we had with other scientists in other countries. The fact that 47 has referred to himself as the king is unconstitutional and confusing to other countries. The fact that he will raise tariffs on Canada and Mexico in a few days, our biggest trading partners, will either be the biggest mistake 47 has ever made or maybe just another error, we will see. 47 has blatantly lied and said that Ukraine started the war with Russia when we all know it was Putin, all along. 47 has tried to erase all transgender people from existence, that is at least 1.4 million people. He is also making it so that businesses can’t choose to use diversity, equality and inclusion practices without fear of the government coming down on them. He has cut off communication between the CDC and the United States people during a break out of the bird flu, measles and flu so we have to rely on the media. He has also provided a long list of words that you can’t use when applying for grants or you will automatically be denied. Some of these words are: woman, black, trauma, victim…just to name a few. This is just a short list of what 47 has done; there is actually a lot more he has done. It has been a very fruitful month for 47.
Someone did question my christianity. I do not call myself a christian. That word has been ruined by people that have not spent enough time reading the Word or have warped it to suit their own purposes. I am a Jesus follower. I am not perfect, but I try to follow Jesus with all my heart and sometimes that causes me to say things people don’t want to hear. Which is probably just one of many reason that I don’t think that politics and religion should mix. I don’t believe I have the right to tell someone how to live their life and I certainly don’t want you to tell me how to live mine.
I am trying to be fair and relate to others. But to be honest it is hard not to be scared.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Books are so important. If there is one thing that stands out that my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and I have in common in our upbringing it is that our families ensured that we could read and they were serious about it. The books I grew up with were part of my childhood and part of me. They took me places when there was no one around to take me anywhere. Even as an adult, I am still traveling through books and learning and growing and reading children’s books is saving me from the stress of adult life; I really need this right now. I encourage you, even if you don’t have children that live with you to dig out your favorite children’s books and read them. Let the stress of the day melt off and be reminded of an easier time.
Now without further ado 5 Books for February 2025:
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Standing in the Need of Prayer by Carole Boston Weatherford
I have read and reviewed Standing in the Need of Prayer by Carole Boston Weatherford in the past. It was such an outstanding and powerful, poetry book based on the words of a gospel song and brought to life with the meaningful and strong illustrations by Frank Morrison, that I had found at the Longview Public Library, that I chose to add this book to my personal collection. As I opened the package, last week, I realized that the timing was perfect to share Standing in the Need of Prayer again for BlackHistory Month.
I love this nonfiction book because it doesn’t hide the slave ships that first began bringing stolen people to the United States in 1619, before we were ever the United States of America, yet the artist doesn’t go so far that young children will be too frightened. The chains of oppression are right out in front, but so is hope. The book illustrates how Black people made themselves heard through speeches, music, art, military service, politics, sports, and being willing to stand where others had not before. Within these pages, growth is celebrated.
I also find the resources in the back of this picture book to be helpful and inspiring. We may have more to do, but we have come so far.
When I was a little girl, I enjoyed Little Bear by Else Holmelund Minarik. This book actually has four stories in it: What will Little Bear Wear?, Birthday Soup, Little Bear Goes to the Moon, and Little Bear’s Wish. Although I enjoyed all of the stories, and I had a hard time choosing between the last two, Little Bear Goes to the Moon is my favorite story because I love when children use their imagination.
Armed with his homemade space helmet, Little Bear, insists he can fly like a bird to the moon, even though his mother bear says that isn’t true. Along with his imagination, he finds that the moon is just like his world and he makes it home in time for lunch, where he can stop living his fantasy and enjoy the lunch Mother Bear made for him.
The illustrations by Maurice Sendak are simple and endearing and add to this classicfiction story, which has a lot of repetition and rhyme, This is perfect for young children learning to read.
The Story of Babar by Jean de Brunhoff moves very fast. there are so many things that happen in this book about animals, elephants, family and France, yet there isn’t time to absorb them. The idea of this story is fantastic but very hard to believe. I was shocked to see that I have read this book before and loved it. It is amazing what a few years can do to one’s perspective.
I do think the illustrations are wonderful and help tell the story quite a lot.
The Story of Babar The Little Elephant by Jean De Brunhoff, was published in 1933 and must have been quite a hit among children. I know I loved it. Even though Babar loses his mother, his adventurous spirit leads him to the city and new human friends. Later he becomes king. What a sweet story that I believe can stand the test of time.
In the book Days with Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel, I found a total of 5 stories: Tomorrow, The Kite, Shivers, The Hat, and Alone. I really had a hard time choosing a favorite but I finally decided on Alone. The reason I chose Alone, is that even the best of friends sometimes needs some time alone and that is what this story is about. Toad went to Frog’s house to find a note telling Toad that Frog was gone and that he wanted to be alone.
Toad spent the day worrying about their relationship, when really Frog was in great spirits and just wanted to spend uninterrupted time being thankful. Being thankful is important, just like spending time with our friends.
I really enjoy the honest and authentic amphibian relationship that Frog and Toad share.
I believe I have read all or at least most of Crockett Johnson’s Harold and the Purple Crayon books, but I must admit, Harold’s ABC’s is my least favorite of these children’s classics. The story and the art was tedious and forced to include all the letters of the alphabet in order. This is very unlike the natural flow of Harold’s natural drawing imagination.
This month our books traveled through many topics: Black History, Imagination, Family, Friendship, and Learning. That is what books do. They are always moving us. I hope you let yourself be moved by books.
Be blessed.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I am very concerned about our national debt and the stress that is on my family and working families like mine. I know that Trump and the republicans are going to want to extend the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act from 2017 that is about to expire but I am asking you to fight against this with all you have. It doesn’t make sense to make those who have less to pay more than those who have more. I am not asking that the wealthy pay more than their fair share, just the same rate that all hard working United States citizens do. It is the only way that makes sense to get control of our debt without crippling our nation.
My heart hurts so much for the persecution that people have been going through and are going through at the hands of people proclaiming to be christians. White people. I used to be one of them, by proxy, but luckily for me, one day, God spoke to me and said, “It’s time to leave. They can’t teach you anything else.”
I cried with God today. I asked Him why He chose 47. Why He lets christian nationalists persecute people for being Queer or Transgender or Native or Black or Latin or Asian or Women or Disabled or any other group that has been othered. He loves all His creation; even if we are wrong, the bible says God leaves us to our depravity. And He said that is what He is doing. I knew He was talking about the white cisgender male christian nationalists, with all my heart.
The God I know doesn’t work in the ways we always understand because He is Spirit and He knows and sees and hears every aspect; we cannot possibly understand everything He understands. He is love in a way most of us cannot comprehend because it is free of condemnation, ulterior motives or evil in any way. I can understand being afraid of Him because conservative christians tell us we are going to hell for any human act, yet that isn’t what Jesus taught. He taught us to love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself, without exception. This requires humility, the same humility that some christian nationalists say is weak. But humility is what is required to love someone as yourself. To have empathy for someone who is different from you.
Jesus said if you want to be first, you must put yourself last. If you do this God will lift you up. This is not what 47 is doing. This is not what people that are hungry for power are doing. This not what people that are condemning are doing.
Jesus said if you are being persecuted, to know that He was persecuted first. Even if you have never considered Jesus, or you have, and became disenfranchised for any number of reasons, know you have something in common with Him. People hated Him because He loved people and He was true to His beliefs even though the church and government persecuted Him. He never stopped speaking His truth.
Christian nationalists are not following the same God and Jesus I do. Their god is judgmental and ready to send sinners to hell. My God has planned for our salvation before the creation of the world because He was excited to love us and be in a relationship with us. Why would a God like that want to condemn us? My God is creative and has expressed His creativity in this amazing world but also in the individual differences of all of us, that are all made in His image. Why would He create you in His image, if He didn’t love you?
Christian nationalists have warped and misunderstood the bible, their religion and even their responsibility to love us all. They are the depraved. We must continue being strong, supporting each other, loving each other, enjoying our differences and being thankful for each other. Be strong. Be blessed. And when you can’t be strong, remember, you are not alone; grab someone’s hand and borrow their strength.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I have read and reviewed Standing in the Need of Prayer by Carole Boston Weatherford in the past. It was such an outstanding and powerful, poetry book based on the words of a gospel song and brought to life with the meaningful and strong illustrations by Frank Morrison, that I had found at the 
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