Growing Pains

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 13, 2024 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Queer Community

I am watching SEAL Team. It’s a rerun; the one where Jason’s wife is killed by a drunk driver. But this episode is not about Alana, it is totally about Jason. I am amazed to watch Jason’s entire team stop everything to support him. He is their leader but he is in need and they are there for him. They know he can handle war, but not this.

The stressful extended family dreams have made sleep frustrated lately. Every night I pray for them. I ask God to help me forgive them, in case I have missed something. I want them to to be happy. I want them to blessed. I want to be free.

This latest D&C has left me in pain. More than the others. I was told by someone that every time I go through these, there is scar tissue that gets re-traumatized. My oncologist said she was going to cut deeper this time to try to remove all the cancer. It is no wonder I hurt.

I asked for a second day of oxycontin. I have never done that before. I have to admit, I have considered asking for more but what if those pills are instigating some of the bad dreams? I need to get away from being alone, not being loved, heard, seen or valued.

I know it isn’t fair to say I wasn’t loved. I wasn’t loved in a way that felt good. I was needed. I was expected to hold things together. I was required to accept daily abuse and forgive. I was the one who served, regardless of my needs and wants. I was only supported if the other parent was at fault.

It should have got better when we became adults, but it didn’t. I was still at fault, not good enough, only there if I was to serve. No one chose to know me, hear me, or actually love me. I didn’t trust anyone because most people that said they loved me was a liar. They gossiped about me, rejected me and either lied about me or believed lies about me but never spoke to me. I was good enough to care for their babies until they were self-sufficient or their dog but I wasn’t good enough to invite to their day trips to the beach, or visits, school programs or even over for dinner. I wasn’t like them.

I can’t say I miss them. Who wants to drive four hours to be ignored? I miss the idea of the family I always wanted to love me but I am coming to peace with this.

I am definitely not a SEAL Team Member but I had seen people in my family support each other. I personally didn’t know what that felt like after my father left. I was told all my life that because I was fat I would never marry, have a good job and I would probably die young. Every ache and pain was blamed on my weight. When I went to the doctor, I don’t remember what they said but I do know that my parent would tell everyone what they knew. I had no privacy. I stopped going to the doctor.

When I was 25-years-old I started having medical issues but it was hard for me because I was so confused by how I had been raised. Also this was during the 1990’s when psychiatrists were over-prescribing medications and it was not helping me at all. This ended up being an even bigger mess and I still didn’t know I was an abuse victim, although I had kept working with a therapist.

When I was 35-years-old, it finally occurred to me to ask myself what I wanted out of life. I was so used to being told what to do and who to be. Anything I wanted that didn’t align to what my parents wanted was stupid. At this time, all I knew was that I wanted my family to love me.

Three years later, I got really sick. I had just worked with Living Ministries, our nonprofit, on a 24 hour telethon called Christmas Joy Telethon and I got the flu. I hadn’t told anyone that I had a sore on my left leg for 8 years. But this flu caused that sore to take over my leg. I knew I needed to go to the hospital but I wasn’t ready, mentally to go.

My family loves me by bullying me. My youngest sibling brought my nephew over to guilt trip me into going to the hospital. I was so angry. He and I have always had a special bond and I hated that his parent would put their child in this position. I promised him that I had a plan to go, I just needed time to be emotionally ready. I also apologized to him for what the family was doing to him. Of course the family that is closed-minded and doesn’t care what I think, did not care what I wanted, so they called the police and told them I was suicidal.

Soon I had a police officer banging on my locked bedroom door, demanding I come out. They didn’t know my name. They didn’t know anything other than I lived in my mother’s house and the family had decided I wanted to kill myself. I knew if I went with them, I would not get medical treatment. I would be taken to the behavioral sciences floor at PeaceHealth St John and probably isolated. This is not what I needed and I didn’t want this on my record.

God told me to stay calm. So I did.

My brother-in-law was preparing to break the door down. I calmly asked him to not break my mother’s house. Thankfully, he stopped.

I told the police officers, I would not let them in my room but I would open the door. I told them who I was and what was going on. When they heard about the telethon fundraiser for The Salvation Army, they relaxed. They did get me to let Karen G Clemenson in the room and one paramedic. The paramedic had already spoken with Karen. He agreed, when he saw the plain Greek yogurt and steamed broccoli that I was trying to eat that I was probably really concerned about my health and not wanting to die. He took my vitals and although they were a little high, they were not outrageous and the stress of being sick and the situation was a good reason for them being elevated.

I told him I planned to go to Legacy Salmon Creek in a couple of days. I was not interested in going to PeaceHealth St John. The paramedic said that was acceptable but if he was called back he would have to take me against my will. My leg was very swollen. I told him that he would not need to be called.

After I came home from the hospital, I think I felt a bit like Jason after his wife died. Alana had been the one to keep his life at home in control while he was away on special operations all over the world. I had been forced to let go of a lot of the walls I had built around myself to be able to ask for help. That part of me that took care of everyone and took the neglect and abuse didn’t want to do that anymore. I held on for as long as I could because I knew if I made a change, my nieces and nephews could be taken away from me. They were the only ones I had real relationships with. But at some point I had to take care of me. When I told my parents I had to take a break from them, my siblings chose my parents and took their kids with them; just as I expected.

I don’t have a large team. I have my wife, my sister/friend, Jamie Holloway, and one aunt that checks in with me. But I know my team has my back. I have spent the last 10 years learning how to listen to myself, love myself and be who I was created to be. Although I have told my parents I can’t have them in my life until they see therapists, so at least I know they are trying to be better, I doubt that will happen. Their traumas run deep. It is scary to admit the way you have lived all your life is not healthy and work to change it. I know. I have done it and I continue to do it. It is so much easier to say: This is who I am and if you don’t like it, leave — and that is what I did.

There came a day where I realized that one of my siblings had always been emotionally and sometimes physically abusive to me. My parents never protected me. This was their golden child. This sibling has paid greatly for their position, in my opinion. From the outside, they have a great life but they are miserable. So material things and manipulation have made them golden and I have no interest in competing.

It may sound like I resent this sibling, but I don’t. They have done what they need to do to survive. To be successful in a fixed mindset way. They have followed all the rules. Did everything as society told them and they look good. Most of the people I am related to are fixed mindset people.

I am a growth mindset person. I believe I can change and I can become what I want. However, convention had never interested me. I was not able to find success the way the rest of my family was. Probably a lot of that had to do with the chronic illness I live with. That as I learn to live with, I get better, however I have done it without them. When my youngest sibling was diagnosed with MS, we all did a 5K walk to support them. No one cares what I live with.

The siblings did reach out when I told my parents I have cancer. I will give them that. But it had been years with no communication. I just have nothing for them. I can’t carry any of them anymore and I don’t trust them. I have been talked about and set up too many times. I don’t want one more angry phone call, text or letter because they decided I am a monster when I am not, I’m just not the golden child.

There is a scene in this episode of SEAL Team, when Jason breaks all the beer bottles and then beats up the fridge and the garbage can until they are all dented. I can relate to his rage. Even though he scared his kids and he admitted he should not have done it, sometimes you have to let the anger out. Sometimes I have used my writing to vent, but even now, I don’t believe I am doing that. I have told some of these stories before, but not all of the details. I think I needed to share them. I needed to share that I am a reasonable person that has been treated unreasonably.

I can’t go back to how things used to be. I won’t hide my queerness to make one parent happy. I won’t let the other parent judge me when they are not without their own sin. I won’t compete with siblings that were raised by traumatized parents that didn’t have the emotional strength to handle 4 children so they forced us to compete for attention and other necessities.

After these last 10 years, I am used to being loved extravagantly by God and Karen and I don’t want any form of counterfeit. I am beautifully and wonderfully made by God and He has never left me or been shocked by me. He thinks that way about you too. I have my story. You have yours. God does not change.

I can’t worry about why my extended family thinks I wrote about them. Unfortunately, just because they ignored me and rejected me regularly, I was still there. This is my life I am writing about. I loved them. I gave to them because I wanted everything to be good. I sacrificed so much. There were teachers that would have helped me find a new home if I would have asked, but I knew I was needed at home while one parent worked and the other was off making a new family and was never there.

I knew mental illness was in my house but to this day there are working United States citizens that can’t afford health insurance so they don’t get the help they need and this is disgusting. A healthy workforce can pay more taxes and buy most stuff, let alone raise healthier children that will grow up and do the same. This makes so much sense to me as a former child of a single parent.

I was raised in a time when we didn’t know that kids could have chronic migraines. Fibromyalgia is still relatively new. Neurodivergence—OMG! How could my parents even deal with my anxiety disorder and depression when one was living with their own untreated mental illness and the other doesn’t believe mental illness is real?

Do you see how I had some short-comings? I have overcome so much! I understand how these things were missed. I am so thankful I know about what is going on inside my body now and I have a medical team that is helping me. They even agree that my wight is not my number one issue — however we now know that I have always been insulin resistant, even before I was diabetic, so diet, exercise and medicine are working for me.

In some ways, I feel sorry for my extended family because I am getting so much better, smarter, kinder, more patient and overall more interesting and compassionate. But I can’t share this with them because life is what it is and people make their own choices. I don’t come from people that forgive; themselves or anyone else. They seem to think I owe them apologies, but you don’t ask children to apologize for crying when they have growing pains and what I have done is just make space for me to grow.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Sometimes Yesterday Is Right Now

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 18, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers, Queer Community, Wellness

I got triggered by Father’s Day. I didn’t realize it was Father’s Day before I went on Facebook and saw all the great posts everyone had for their dads. I write about my journey to celebrate my steps and share what I have learned with others that might benefit from my path. I have PTSD and sometimes yesterday is right now but I have new tools.

The episode didn’t actually start on Sunday but had started earlier. Pride usually reminds me of several things that make me feel loss and I work through them. I assume that most of my extended family doesn’t even realize how their actions have affected me and how my mind has created connections through Pride Month; it only makes sense to me and isn’t even fair to include them so I forgive because it isn’t anything they actually did. But the tenderness was already there when I saw the pictures of women with their dads, dancing, fishing, doing puzzles, gardening, cooking or any other relationship building activity.

The most recent reason my extended family is not in my life is that when I needed answers, no one could give me answers that made me feel peace, joy, safety and loved so I left them behind me. I never had success when I was around them so I needed to leave them. Love was not enough. It is my fault I am not in their lives. It was my choice. I do not choose to bad mouth them. They are successful with each other. I was the one that didn’t fit. I found other people that had no problem with my needs.

This truth does not erase my history. I still have PTSD. Once I realized that the emotions I was feeling were not reliable or even recent, I needed to listen to them before they leaked out on an innocent bystander. By the time I was really aware of them they were a big red ball of emotions, mostly anger and hatred toward two people. I have forgiven them so many times. These things are old. I was sitting with God, knowing that I had already forgiven these things. I knew I didn’t hold this against them anymore. My goal was peace. So I began reminding myself of what is true today: They are just people. They are not perfect. They have their own traumas. They have done the best they could. They don’t benefit from my anger and hatred.

I felt the ball of emotions begin to shift as I reminded myself that I don’t want this. I don’t benefit from these emotions anymore. I want them to do well. I want them to be blessed. I want them to have a good life. I want God to love them.

I am going to be honest. I don’t like one of them. It took me almost 30 years to be honest with myself that I hated them. I had to say that so I could forgive myself for that hatred. I don’t hate them anymore but I don’t trust them and I don’t like them and I refuse to have them in my life. It is hard to be loving toward someone you feel that way about. But removing my emotions, I know that my anger and hatred does not benefit anyone that they are around that I love. Those emotions don’t help me either.

The ball of emotions had become very manageable.

It is not always easy to forgive or pray for the people in our past. But it gets easier. It isn’t about those people that once had so much say in our lives. It is about letting them go so we can have peace.

This is a hard article to write. There is a part of me that still wants to tattle. She is many ages of Summer, but I am in control and I am a lady. I am here and I want to see my readers get well and I don’t think telling on people will make anyone feel better. In reality it never made me feel better. I think that sharing what I have learned is what actually helps me move forward.

There are many paths to wellness. For me, medication and therapy, several types, has been a life saver for me. I think everyone should see a therapist for at least a period of time in their life. We can all use more tools to help us use our words and our minds to help us process what the world throws at us. I do know, for me, I would not be here without my relationship with God. God has always turned me in the right direction and spoken truths to me when I was ready to hear them. As I leaned into Them, I learned more and especially gained that peace, joy, safety and love I was looking for.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

But God

by Summer D Clemenson | May 9, 2024 | Poetry, Prayers, Queer Community

It was supposed to be warm and sunny today
but in my dream it was snowing
The silence was not available because
you were there to judge as always
You hate me because I am gay
I wanted to call you a slut
because the man you are married to
is not your first
but he is a preacher so his degree frees your tongue
You forget we have all fallen short
and require the grace of God

I left you because my tears were starting to freeze on my face
because I loved you best

Guarding the door
you stood with your rocks and knives
they all had collected for you
You threw a couple but
I slipped in another door
I know you hate yourself and me
but I don’t know why

You were tending you wounds
while your mother told lies and smoked cigarettes
and put them out in her daughter’s arm
If you could get away
If you could get away

I was supposed to go to school
but I didn’t know which box in the garage was mine
I had missed so many days I was overwhelmed
by what it might take to catch up
I have always been left behind
but God

God woke me from the nightmare
He chose me and loved me
He showed me that He was always with me
and with you
and I didn’t have to live in your house
to love you
He made boundaries because I am human
I am not God
I have limits
But I can pray and I don’t have to judge
in response to yours
I can love from my place in Him

Book Review: The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris

by Summer D Clemenson | Jan 19, 2024 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions, Queer Community

The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris takes place at the end of the Civil War. George Walker was not a man that had to work. His father had left him money and he had enough acreage to wander and enjoy the nature he loved so much. His wife, Isabelle, was strong-natured and did not require much of him. His son was away at war and this worried him because he saw himself in his son, the quiet softness that didn’t care for violence. But George didn’t talk about these things to anyone but Clementine, the whore that he paid to just listen to him. When he was told about his son’s death, it took him a few days to tell Isabelle. He didn’t want to hurt her.

During one of his walks he found Landry and Prentiss camped out; two freedmen from the plantation next to his. George had pushed himself too far and he was thankful for the help back to his cabin. He didn’t mind them camping on his land. Soon their relationship changed and Landry and Prentiss became paid hands on George’s land as George had decided to make something of his farm and needed their help. George paid them the same he would pay any man and this angered the people in Old Ox, where they lived. Landry and Prentiss were glad to live in the barn. This also angered the townsfolk.

When Caleb, George and Isabelle’s son returned, scarred but not dead, they were overjoyed. But he had secrets. The communication was still not good between he and his parents. He and his lover, August were having trouble as August was planning his wedding to a local girl, as was expected of him.

The Sweetness of Water was so full of surprises and intrigue. The characters were well-developed. There was a rhythm to the story that kept me turning the pages. I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it to anyone.

I got this book from my sister Jamie Holloway. You can get your own copy of The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

The Sweetness of Water by Nathan Harris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This story truly moved me and showed me how far we have come. Reconstruction after the Civil War was dropped too quickly by people that didn’t understand how many layers we had to deal with, but we have endured and there are so many layers we can celebrate. This book reminds us of that. This book is about a family that is not perfect but they are bound by their imperfect love for each other and a couple of Freedmen in spite of the pressure of the entire town that wants them to be forgotten, yet through many losses, they are not. This book has loss and pain but also joy and growth. I promise you, you wont want to put the book down.

View all my reviews

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

My Soldier & I

by Summer D Clemenson | Dec 29, 2023 | About Summer, Art, Poetry, Queer Community

I didn’t move into her camp
She moved into mine
My soldier & I, together
worked hard to make it ours

Doctors & therapists were helpful
to give me a name for all
the things that make me different
I had been asking for help for so long

Medical professionals thanked her for believing me
I guess some people
don’t have a soldier like mine
But I knew that

Whether it was trying new meds
dressing wounds
changing diet & exercise
She never forgets the battle plan

I didn’t leave you because I am queer
I left because I begged for no judgement
& I needed love & peace & compassion
& I finally have it

I have everything I want right here

I Can Only Control Me and Where I Choose to Be

by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 31, 2023 | About Summer, Cancer, Life, Opinions, Queer Community

I have been feeling very vulnerable. It started yesterday. When there was an incident on Facebook between extended family members that went wrong. I thought I had removed everyone attached to people that knew someone that I need to stay separate from. But I was left feeling very unprotected by someone I don’t know, in a situation I wish I had stayed out of. So after praying and thinking about it, obsessively, because that is what people with OCD do…and then talking to a cousin that is discreet and compassionate, I decided to unfriend and block a couple more people in order to protect my peace that I have fought so diligently for. I can only control me and where I choose to be.

But this is not the best way to protect yourself and not the way that normal, mentally healthy people protect themselves from life’s normal stressors. This month has been quieter than August and September which had me at doctor appointments every week, sometimes 2 in one week and left me feeling like a pin cushion and over stimulated by people touching me and giving me all kinds of advice. But I did get a haircut which does make you feel like you did something just for you. I had a doTERRA class online, which enriches your brain. I went to the dentist for the first time in 4 years. I had my first mammogram. I also did one of those at home colon cancer tests and blood screening tests too. I met with my psychiatric RN. I also spent a lot of time going through all of our things and throwing away un-useful things and setting aside things we don’t need for The Red Hat. All while praying for my uncle that had a hip replacement and my aunt that had a much needed breast reduction; they are doing very well.

I really enjoyed my experience with my new stylist. Her name is Taylor Daines and she works at Wild Aces Salon in Kelso, Washington. She is a transplant from Las Vegas. I heard of her in the Longview Rainbow Group on Facebook. Someone posted a picture of their hair and a review and I thought I would give her a shot since the last person that cut my hair didn’t return my messages. Taylor is very sweet and the shop is very eclectic. She prefers to just cut hair, but she can color as well. If you want to make an appointment find Taylor Daines online. Did I mention she also keeps her own bees?

I have no really good reason for missing my teeth cleanings for 4 years. I just don’t like going to the dentist. I made a huge mistake and I am going to pay for it. I have insurance coverage but it only covers cleanings and X-rays. The last dentist I saw told me my impacted wisdom teeth were not a problem but that wasn’t true then and it isn’t true, especially now. After Karen G Clemenson gets her insurance figured out and it is my secondary insurance I will be able to get my 2 impacted wisdom teeth removed, plus one molar that was ruined by one of the wisdom teeth and then have a filling in another tooth that has a cavity from pressure from the other wisdom tooth and then one more filling I earned on my own. All in all, I need 3 teeth removed and 2 filings. At first I had a vanity moment, but then I thought about it. My wisdom teeth are impacted and I have never used them. The one molar is on my left side where I have trigeminal neuralgia and I don’t chew on that side of my mouth as it is, so I guess it works out ok for me. The dentist said that my mouth is too small for implants so that isn’t even an option (you have to have enough room for the implant and the drill at the same time and I don’t). Overall in 47 years to have only 3 cavities, and 1 is from a tooth I can’t clean. I think that is a pretty good history. The hygienist did say that I do a really good job cleaning my teeth. She was really surprised with how little buildup there was after 4 years of not having my teeth cleaned…Yes I have my next cleaning already scheduled.

I have fought against a mammogram for several years. I hate being touched my strangers. I have issues with being naked in front of people. Mammograms do not sound fun or pain free. My breasts have not changed ever…I ran out of excuses and finally sucked it up last week. The Kearney Breast Center at PeaceHealth St. John Medical Center is probably the most pleasant place you can go for a mammogram. I have been to most of the departments there and this one is about comfort. The walls are painted in a pleasant magenta and are covered in beautiful art prints. The furniture is comfortable. The dressing rooms are roomy and pleasant. The lighting is calming. The music is soothing. The staff is soft spoken, professional, patient and gentle. My only complaint is that when you have chronic pain in your rib cage, leaning into the hard plastic machines is very painful. Also my sister, Jamie Holloway, who was given much larger breasts than I was, said it was not painful. My answer to her is that when you have small breasts, they have to stretch them…I will let your imagination answer what I think about that. The upside…I don’t have breast cancer. Thank You Jesus!

My primary has been trying to get me to do the colon cancer screening for 2 years. She finally said I had two choices: colonoscopy or the take home test. So I gave in. Both sound disgusting to me but the latter sounds less painful. The take home test was mailed to me and included a blood test but I wasn’t sure what was for. I made it through the process. In a week I got a letter back that I don’t have color cancer and my A1c is 7.11%. I am thankful that I don’t have colon cancer. I am also thankful that my A1c is down. The last time my primary checked it, it was 7.25% so the changes I am working on, are making a difference. Thank You Jesus!

I met with my Psychiatric RN yesterday. We were supposed to meet a couple of weeks ago but he got sick and we had to reschedule. A few weeks ago I was going to ask him to increase my meds. I was going through a terrible time dealing with a huge loss and it was wreaking havoc on my ability to manage my life. But I have accepted the loss of those things and made it through. When I told him that he suggested that we can try some anti-anxiety meds that I can have with me for trouble times that happen. I would only take these pills during extreme times. I want to think about this. I already take a lot of meds. Also Karen found a file that has medical information in it from the beginning. It may have the list of meds that we tried in the beginning that made me suicidal. I don’t remember the names of the meds so this list is important. I would like to have time to go through this file and be able to share this information with my Psychiatric RN so that we don’t end up taking a step backwards. We will be meeting that last week of December. We have paid the $7500 for the year that my insurance requires so my meds are less expensive now so we can get a lower price to start out too.

Cleaning out unnecessary things is a good way to make room for change. It is also a good way to find things you have lost. We have found so many important things in this room and even in the car…Karen has been going through the car and found so many useful things out there too! But we have also found things we don’t need to keep anymore. It is good to get rid of the things that don’t fit anymore or you aren’t using anymore or don’t mean anything to you like they once did. It helps to clear the air. It also makes room for creativity which is always my goal.

Later this week I will be going to Vancouver to have an MRI on my abdomen to see if the endometrial cancer in my uterus has grown. So far it has not, that we know of. My doctor is hoping to have me lose as much weight as possible before my hysterectomy so if the cancer has not spread we will probably wait until the New Year for my surgery. I do feel as though I have lost weight. My clothes are fitting differently and I feel like my shape is changing. I haven’t had a chance to weigh in for a month or so. I am sure they will weigh me before the MRI so maybe I will know more then. I have an appointment with my primary in mid November but she may be able to get me in sooner, if there is a cancellation. I think the Mounjaro is helping and we will probably increase the dose when I see my primary.

I can’t control what other people are going to do, but I can control me and I control my surroundings. This is what mentally healthy people do. Not everyone has to disconnect from their extended families but I did. I knew when I got cancer, I had to choose me. It was a very hard choice. I tried a trial run but when I tried to re-engage it didn’t work. I can’t make anyone forgive me and give me a clean slate. I can’t make anyone choose good mental health. I can’t make anyone love me the way I want to be loved. But I can love myself and I can celebrate healthy relationships as they come. I can also let unhealthy ones go as necessary.

So if this encourages you to get your health screenings, remove drama that is hurting you and make healthy boundaries and celebrate the successes in your life than I have been a success! Be blessed.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

7 Children’s Books for July 2023

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 27, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions, Queer Community

I got the first book in this review from a box of books from my sister, but before I could publish it I read an article that suggested that grown up should read children’s books and it inspired me to actually do that and so, until I get bored, I plan to find 7 books for the month and review them. So here is 7 Children’s Books for July…

I Pray You’ll Be…by Hannah C. Hall

This copy of I Pray You’ll Be…by Hannah C. Hall came to me in a box of books and I was surprised because my sister often gives me only adult books. But what a joy to have this children’s picture book!

The illustrations by Catalin Ardeleanu are beautiful and easy to engage a little one in conversation about. The story is uplifting and the timing is poetic to read. It was so fun to read by myself that I know I will enjoy reading it to my great-nephews and any other children that come for a visit. I usually pass these books on to a great, but I think I will keep this one for my collection.

Thanks Sis!

I got this book from my sister, Jamie Holloway. You can get your own copy of I Pray You’ll Be…by Hannah C. Hall on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads

I Pray You’ll Be . . . by Hannah C Hall
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Beautiful illustrations! Wonderful story! I love this book!

View all my reviews

The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf

The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf was first printed in 1936. Ferdinand was a bull, but not like other bulls that like to fight each other, “He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers.”

This story is powerful because it doesn’t hide the violence of bull fighting and it doesn’t hide that Ferdinand is not anything like other bulls. In many ways this story could be a metaphor for other topics. I love that Ferdinand is brave enough to be himself and his mother, although she is worried he might be lonesome, is understanding enough to let him do what makes him happy.

The drawings by Robert Lawson are simple in black and white but are easy to discuss with children to encourage conversation and compassion with Ferdinand and other bull’s plight. I think The Story of Ferdinand is a timeless tale.

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf on Amazon.

Song of Creation by Paul Goble

Song of Creation by Paul Goble
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Song of Creation by Paul Goble was published in 2004. It is a collection of amazing artistry and songs of praise to the Creator. As you take in the vibrant art of nature and read out loud the prayers you might be able to imagine a flute playing in your mind, as I did.

“O all you works of the Lord, bless you the Lord: praise him, and magnify him forever.”

As a person who doesn’t just read books but loves to talk about them and encourage little ones to grow their vocabulary and ability to think, there are tons of beautiful things to talk about amongst the stunning illustrations.

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of Song of Creation by Paul Goble on Amazon.

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In a world where Max, the main character, who is probably 5-7-years old, felt a little out of control, being able to shout, “BE STILL,” and seeing his terrible monsters tamed was just what he needed. To be able to command the wild rumpus and to make it stop on his authority, made coming home to a warm meal very welcoming.

We all feel out of control sometimes. Whether we are 5 or 50 years old and this story was fun to read and relate to, just as it has been since 1963 when Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak was published.

The illustrations are imaginative and draw you in so it is no surprise that Where the Wild Things Are was the winner of the Caldecott Medal for the Most Distinguished Picture Book of the Year in 1964.

This timeless story will always delight!

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak on Amazon.

Julián is a Mermaid by Jessica Love

Julián Is a Mermaid by Jessica Love
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Julián is a Mermaid by Jessica Love was published in 2018 and has beautifully colorful and inspiring pictures.

Julián is a boy in love with mermaids. He sees gorgeous people dressed up on the subway with his abuela and he wants to be like them. He daydreams all the way home and as his abuela goes to take a bath he becomes creative with things around her house.

As she emerges from the bath, Julián’s abuela sees what he has done. He is nervous that she will be upset but she returns with a beautiful necklace. Once she is dressed, they go for a walk to a place with many fancy people, “Like you mijo. Let’s join them.” And they do.

This touching story of acceptance shows how much love Julián and his abuela share with each other.

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of Julián is a Mermaid by Jessica Love on Amazon.

Butterflies by Seymour Simon

Butterflies by Seymour Simon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Butterflies by Seymour Simon was published in 2011. It is meant for children that are about aged 5 to 9 years of age but any child would love the outstanding photography by the many artists who collaborated in this book. While I read the book, I learned that there are more than 20,000 kinds of butterflies.

While many butterflies live in North America the greatest variety and number live in the rain forest. Butterflies are important pollinators to flowers, plants and vegetables. Butterflies also provide food to animals like bats, birds, lizards and frogs.

There are 4 stages of a butterfly’s life: Egg, Caterpillar, Pupa (the transformative stage into a butterfly) and Adult. Butterflies drink their food with a long tongue called a proboscis. They smell with their antennae and taste with their feet!

An Irish saying goes: “May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun and find your shoulder to light on, to bring you luck, happiness and riches today, tomorrow, and beyond.”

I really enjoyed this book and I hope you will enjoy it too!

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of Butterflies by Seymour Simon on Amazon.

Separate Is Never Equal Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh

Separate Is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Separate Is Never Equal Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh is a book that was published in 2014 but is about a real story that happened in 1945. When Sylvia moved with her family from Santa Ana, California to Westminster, California, she was excited to start at her new school in her neighborhood. But on the day her aunt took Sylvia, her brothers and her cousins to enroll, they were told her cousins could enroll, because their skin was light, but Sylvia and her brothers would have to enroll in the Mexican school. That day Sylvia’s aunt chose to not enroll any of the children, but take them home.

When she told her brother-in-law, he did not understand. He was born in Mexico, but he had become a United States citizen and his children had been born in the United States and had perfect English. He had worked hard and owned his own company. He did not understand why he kept being told, “This is how it is done,” whether he spoke with the county superintendent or the school board.

The Mexican school was not safe. It had no playground. The teachers didn’t care if the children learned anything. It was not a good environment and Mr. Mendez wanted his children to have a good education. As Mr. Mendez kept looking for answers he met a man that suggested that he file a lawsuit. He knew of another man that had helped to integrate schools in the San Bernardino area. This seemed like a good plan and Mr. Mendez spent a lot of time traveling all over Orange County searching for people that wanted to help with this plan and he found them.

In June of 1947, after one hearing and an appeal that were both won by Mr. Mendez and his team, Governor Earl Warren signed a law that allowed all children to go to school together, regardless of race, ethnicity or language.

Separate Is Never Equal Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh is winning story for children that are at least 5-8 years old. It is also the winner of The Pura Belpre Award.

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I got this copy of this story at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of Separate Is Never Equal Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh on Amazon.

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Book Review: Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble by Alexis Hall

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 21, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Queer Community

This book was found in the bottom of a box of books my sister gave to me. From the picture on the cover, I didn’t think this was my normal type of book but I was committed to read it. I try to expand my reading experiences. I never want to be stagnant. Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble by Alexis Hall is written for an audience that is probably in their young 20’s but it isn’t without merit.

I had trouble getting into the book because the main character, Paris, is so pathetic. He has no self-esteem, he apologizes for everything and he tends to make everything about himself, but you can tell he doesn’t mean to. A third of the way through the book I decided I had to keep reading just to see if he ever gets better.

Many of the characters in the book, including Tariq, Paris’ eventual love interest, are part of a televised baking contest and this adds a lot of drama to the book and even some fun ideas for readers that like to bake. Through their relationship and the help of Paris’ roommate, Morag, Paris finally gets some help and learns that he has a mental illness and is able to get the help he needs.

When we got to this part of the book, I understood why this guy was so annoying to me, because I have this same diagnosis and he reminded me of a younger me. I did find that the timeline of success with meds and treatment were pretty quick compared to my experience but it is just a novel and not real life and my experience is my own; I am just happy people are normalizing mental illness. Overall I thought this was a cute book.

I got this book from my sister Jamie Holloway. You can get your own copy of Paris Daillencourt is About to Crumble by Alexis Hall on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble by Alexis Hall
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I had trouble with this book. This book was written for a younger person than me, but the part that made it hard for me was probably, more that I can relate with the main character in many ways, mainly in that, I too have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and untreated this mental illness makes you miserable and listening to him narrate the story was making me feel miserable. However, in the end, Paris got the help he needed to begin healing and learning how to deal with his what was holding him back in life. I don’t know that the timeline and the process was realistic but I appreciate the author’s approach to making a topic that has been stigmatized more easy to talk about.

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

My Thoughts on Senate Bill 5599

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 18, 2023 | Community, Education, Local Interests, Opinions, Queer Community

Senate Bill 5599 has been the center of many debates online; Many debates among Christians that believe there is only one way to live. I entered into one of these debates hoping to speak some compassion into the hearts of these fellow believers and along the way I learned a few things. I have waited a few weeks to sum up my notes and thoughts on these conversations so I could make sure that my emotions were not getting in my way. Because this bill can bring up a lot of emotions if you are letting go of common sense. Here are my thoughts on Senate Bill 5599.

SB 5599 was originally sponsored by Senators Marko Liias (primary), Claire Wilson, Manka Dhingra, Liz Lovelett, Joe Nguyen and Emily Randall. It was passed on May 9, 2023 and will take effect on July 23, 2023. In a nutshell the bill states that if a minor comes to a licensed overnight shelter or licensed organization and it is known that they are there, unknown by their parents, that the organization must contact the parents or guardians within 72 hours. However, if there are compelling reasons suggesting that that minor is being abused this rule doesn’t apply, but the organization must make sure that the minor receives proper medical, mental and legal help, which may include gender affirming care or abortion without parent or guardian consent, after proper medical, mental and legal help has begun. FYI this is a paraphrase. There is a link to the full bill below for your reference.

Previously I had read about School-Based Health Center Programs because I had heard about other Christians that were afraid of what that would mean in public schools because there was another bill that mentioned gender-affirming care. My response is always to research. My belief system tells me that since perfect love casts out fear, that God has given me a mind to learn. So I must not let my emotions get in the way. So I ask questions and read what I can so that I don’t need to be afraid. From what I have read, School-Based Health Center Programs are very much like what I experienced as a child in public school. I remember receiving eye exams, hearing tests, scoliosis checks, and my first tuberculosis vaccine at the nurse’s office. I received counseling all through grade school, middle school and high school with a program like this. Kids that need prescriptions given during the day get them from the nurse’s office, minors needing hormone treatments would fall under this category. I imagine that children that show signs of abuse would get help through this program.

The conclusion I have come to about the fear that these Christian parents are worried about is non-existent if they are not abusing their children. If they are listening to their children and letting them be individuals and not extensions of themselves. If they are willing to let go of a version of a legalistic God that doesn’t understand humanity.

What are people afraid of?

It sounds like I have heard the word indoctrinated a lot. And while there may be a few teachers that have an agenda, I don’t believe that all teachers and administrators do and parents have the right to question their children’s teachers and administrators. We live in a world where children have all kinds of families. I had two women in mother roles in my family and it wasn’t because my mother was a lesbian; my father had divorced my mother and remarried. Most of my friends had more than one mother or father when I was growing up. I had no experience with queer families until I was an adult, that I know of, but I know they have been here and children should not be ashamed to talk about their parents. As a woman married to another woman, I can assure you that my wife and I are just like any other married couple trying to grow each day into a better person while we pay our bills and take care of our cat and when we are able to afford children, we will be glad to foster and that is what our foster kids will see; just two imperfect people, trying our best, much like most other married people.

When we have kids our agenda will be to raise healthy, community-minded children that know how to take care of themselves, ask questions and make decisions.

What is a lifestyle?

Dictionary.com says that a lifestyle is the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.

The phrase “Gay Lifestyle” always bothers me, because what the definition above doesn’t specify but does imply, is the factor of choice. We choose our habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, way of living and even our economic level. We might not realize this but even by not choosing, but just doing what we know, we are making a choice. I know I didn’t choose to be queer. I prayed for years to be what I thought God wanted me to be and in the end, I already was what He created me to be.

During my conversations with people my marriage was called a perversion and I appreciate people’s right to their opinion but what if the real perversion is the division that is caused when people are being shunned from a body of believers because of who they love or how they feel about their body? I read my bible almost every day and I enjoy my time with God. In my relationship with Him, I have learned to question even Him because the moral standards written in the bible were written in a culture and time that are vastly different than what we experience now. We see this because slavery is illegal and women can own land; in fact there was no cultural standard for a loving, committed relationship between two souls, regardless of gender because women had no value when the bible was written. In the bible, marriage was more about maintaining social responsibility and child rearing and had nothing to do with love. But marriage is no longer defined by my ability to have children, so gender is just a human issue. In Jesus we are all equal, there is neither Jew or Greek, male or female (Galatians 3:28). The bible says that when Jesus returns, we will no longer have human bodies (1 Corinthians 15:52), nor will be given in marriage (Matthew 22:30). This leads me to believe that love is so much more important than gender in God’s eyes (Mark 12:30-31).

Transgender Issues…

We do not see what God sees and we do not know what God knows (Isaiah 55:8-9). If your child is confused about their gender, love them, hear them and help them. Why would you allow yourself to be afraid of such a human issue, when as a Christian we are called to live a spirit-led life? Did you know that a transgender person is not allowed to take hormone treatments until after they have completed 4 months of counseling to make sure they are making the right decision? There is a process to make sure that the person is not making a mistake. So those hormone treatments that the school nurse might be administering will never start immediately. Surgeries are never going to happen at school and not every transgender person can have or will choose to have surgeries because each person’s path is their own. It is common for children to be curious at some point in their development about their sex and most children come to the discovery that they are happy with the sex they were born with but if your child is so unhappy with their gender that they don’t want to live, I know I would be very comfortable with helping a child find peace and safety in their body and God would have grace for that. We are all God’s creation and He loves us and sees our full potential and He wants us to love and care for each other, instead of fighting and dividing ourselves from each other.

One person brought up the bathroom issue and I want to mention here that at every facility that I have been to where children are, there are separate bathrooms for children and adults. Students don’t have a lot of time in the bathroom and they are there to get their business done. At one grade school I visited, a representative nearly ran to meet me at the front door as I entered. It was obvious that it was important to this school that the kids were top priority. I don’t think bathrooms are an issue in schools.

I believe that church and state should be separate. I believe that Jesus came to save me from the law because when I am living a spirit-led life, where I am loving God with all my heart, soul and mind and my neighbor more than myself, I wont need laws to tell me to be careful with others and mindful of boundaries. When the law is more important than love we make a mockery of what Jesus did on the cross (Galatians 2:20-21). I think the fears that I keep seeing in these conversations are the false prophets (2 Thessalonians 3:6) that Jesus told us about and as believers we need to be careful not to forget why we are really here: to let go of our fears and learn to love.

There is no reason to fear SB 5599 if you are loving your children, listening to your children and doing your best to let them grow into the human God created them to be. Remember to be brave!

Bill Sponsors: WA SB5599 | 2023-2024 | Regular Session
Final Bill Report ESSB 5599 originally sponsored by Senators Liias, Wilson, C., Dhingra, Lovelett, Nguyen, and Randall
School-Based Health Center Program by Healthier Washington Collaboration Portal

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Book Review: Beyond Magenta Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 8, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions, Queer Community

I really enjoyed this book. I found out about it from a friend that sent me a link from Alan Rose’s blog. He had done a book review that included Beyond Magenta Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin and another book. Because of his review I bought them both and his latest book and I will eventually read all of them.

What I liked about the book was that each chapter was a different story. The stories were kept simple, probably because each person was still a minor but their stories are powerful as each teenager learns and shares their knowledge with their interviewer. (more…)

What is a Lifestyle?

by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 18, 2023 | About Summer, Community, Education, Opinions, Queer Community

There was an event at Father’s House Church last Saturday that I felt that I would have wanted to protest, but my body would not have been able to handle the stress. According to the flyer, very conservative Republicans from the Family Policy Institute of Washington wanted to talk about what they think is being taught in public schools about inclusion and gender and sexual identity, Critical Race Theory, their fear of health clinics in schools, parents rights, and to encourage parents to pull their children out of public schools and put them into home schools or private schools making less dollars available for public schools, so that children with less advantages, will continue to have less advantages. Meanwhile there has been a few new laws passed over night to stress more conservatives out a bit more, while protecting abused and yes, possibly, queer and transgender, children. I didn’t think my body could stand on unforgiving cement in the cold and rain but my fingers can type faster than most, and my mind is clean so I began debating with a few people on Facebook. What is a lifestyle but a choice in how we live.

Lifestyle is typical way of the life of an individual, group, or culture says Merriam-Webster.

Examples of lifestyle habits are:

Sleeping patterns
Eating tendencies
Level of physical activity
Stress management practices
Hydration habits
Achieve/Maintain a healthy weight
Be free of dependence on tobacco, illicit drugs and alcohol
Spend quality time with family and friends daily
Take time for spiritual renewal

Why is this important to my point? Because in one of my debates one person used the phrase “gay lifestyle” and I wanted to go through the roof. I didn’t. If lifestyle is a choice than we can say that people that color their hair is a lifestyle. But people born with brown hair, they were born that way. I know, I was born this way.

My therapist told me yesterday that I was probably given an unique opportunity because I was a late bloomer, bi-sexual and demi-sexual. Relationship was the most important to me so my sexuality was not important to me. I happened to fall for a guy first. He was not the one. Then I felt feelings I didn’t understand for Karen G Clemenson and for years I prayed with my Christian therapist about them and they never budged. When I asked God for a partner because I was exhausted with walking alone, there she was and I could not ignore these feelings and they were not one-sided. But because it happened to us later in life, I don’t have the scars and triggers that a lot of my queer community family have. I can actually debate with others and listen to them.

I am often taken aback by Christians that I feel are reacting to the world in fear and anger and what looks more like hate than love. I am not wired like most people, and God has told me that He didn’t make me to fit in, so I have been working on feeling comfortable in myself since I rarely feel comfortable anywhere else. But since, we as Christians are supposed to be the light of the world, I sometimes have felt like I didn’t want to admit I am one of them, not because I don’t love Jesus but because some of His followers seem to be very confused.

I don’t care for politics. They stress me out. I don’t think Jesus did either, I mean wasn’t it for that reason that he cleared the tables in the temple in anger (Mark 11:15-17)? Didn’t He die to make the high ranking Jewish leaders happy? (I do understand He did that on purpose to fulfill prophecy and I am grateful because for that reason I am able to love Him) But Jesus is about authenticity and love. He came to free us from the law because the law is not made for righteous persons but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners (2 Timothy 1:9).

I have read the new laws. I am not intimidated by them. I am thankful for public schools and for sex education classes. I know that some families do not support their children in healthy ways. I know that some families should never have children and those children need help. I also know that each transgender person’s path is unique and not like anyone else’s and being afraid of their medical procedures, especially if they don’t have them now or at all, is ridiculous. What all children need is compassion and love. Growing up is hard and children don’t need to see us fighting and hating each other. They need to see a strong and compassionate front.

I know some Christians are stuck on gender, that God only made male and female, but I think that gender is a human issue and only important when it comes to bearing children, which is not a defining reason for marriage by today’s standards. “there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

What God did tell us to do was to be together and to be like minded: Psalm 66:16-20, Acts 1:14, Acts 2:1, Acts 2:46, Acts 4:24, Acts 5:12, Philippians 2:2, Matthew 18:20, 2 Timothy 1:5-9

These were just a few scriptures from a few of my most recent bible studies but they fit here.

I came on strong with one debate:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider that plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-3

I do try to live with this one on the top of my mind. I can’t say I don’t have to be reminded sometimes but we really have to be careful. When we judge other people, we are asking to be judged back and people can be harsh. When you judge me because I married my best friend and the person that I believe that God made for me, you are telling me that God made me wrong. It is like me telling you that your blue eyes should have been brown. Imagine if you had told a child, since they were small that they were wrong, because you could tell they were different, but there was nothing they could do about it. You have possibly terrorized this child for the rest of their life for being who God made them to be. If he was born that way, how could he be wrong? If God doesn’t make mistakes, how could he be wrong? Just because you don’t have words for something doesn’t mean that it is wrong, it just means you have something to learn.

Being queer isn’t a lifestyle. It is a demographic. Being mean is a lifestyle though and I would like to see it stop.

LIfestyle: Merriam-Webster Dictionary online
Lifestyle Changes for Improved Health by Delight Medical and Wellness Center
Ten Lifestyle Goals for Healthy Living by Wellsource Inc. 2003-5
Photo Credit: 12 Tips to Better Manage Your Works and Family Life by Carizon September 13, 2017

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

I Do Not Want More Laws

by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 11, 2023 | Community, Opinions, Queer Community

I am so torn between putting this on my blog or directly on Facebook. I know people read my blog but they never respond and I really want to hear people’s opinions. I do not want more laws. I don’t think we have a large enough police force in Longview, Washington to be able to enforce the laws we have now, and as a Christian, I think that I don’t need more. I know that sounds wrong, but if I am spending as much time as I can loving my God with all my heart, soul and mind and going out of my way to love my neighbor, more than myself, I don’t need laws to tell me how to live right. I feel offended by Christians that feel the need to make more laws to tell other people how to live when Galatians 2:21 says that the law makes a mockery of what Jesus did on the cross for us all…Yet I also know that just a few weeks ago I made posts about needing more gun control laws.

So I was wrong. I have since then, realized that since I have never lived with guns or relied on guns, I can never understand the viewpoint of someone that had never lived without them. As some of you know, my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and I do not always agree on politics or guns but we do choose to disagree because we respect and love each other. This same behavior can be extended beyond our home and should be. Karen was raised with guns in her home and was a sharp shooter in the Army. We currently don’t have a weapon in our home, but at some point she will take up her hobby and I will then, out of responsibility, learn how to handle this weapon, maintain it and shoot it, but I am sure I will never think to use it, first. It is not how I am wired.

I would love to see mass shooting stop. But I am not sure that new laws will answer that immediately. I am saying this because change comes slowly. There are civil rights amendments on the books that have taken decades to really be seen backed up consistently by society and in some parts of the United States it is still hit and miss. Why would taking people’s guns do anything but cause more turmoil and a possible desire for rebellion?

There is an event at a local church by a very conservative group about education in public schools this coming weekend. I can tell by the flier that was shared with me that they will be talking about Critical Race Theory (CRT), I have a feeling they will be attacking trans-children, they will talk about parent’s rights, and health clinics in schools (which are not any different than what they had when I was growing up but they have reinstated them and had success in Seattle) and they will also rally for more laws. I scoured the Facebook pages of the organization that is putting on the event and the church that is hosting the event and I can’t find anything about this event but people in the Longview Rainbow group and a local Democratic lady has shared the informative flyer with me. Why hide? You would think they would want to tell everyone about their event.

I am torn about political parties. I am not against any party but I am not for any of them either. I don’t see any party doing a very good job. When it comes down to it, I am done with old white men, so anyone that is older than me and male and white wont be getting my vote. I want to see something fresh and new. I am about hope and I am not about hoping the president doesn’t die because I can’t stand the vice president either. But I do appreciate the Democratic lady that made sure I knew about the event. I don’t know if I will be able to attend. We don’t need a permit to protest but we have to keep moving, we can’t use a tent or chairs and quite honestly I am not sure my body will be able to do that if this rain and cold is going to hold…and I think it is.

Why would I protest? Because unlike many angry Christians that think that Christ has been removed out of schools and that is the reason schools don’t work, I disagree. I believe church and state should be separate but Christ and Christians never are. I was taught that Jesus was with me and it was my job to have a relationship with Him. I could talk to Him whenever I wanted and tell my friends about Him, if they wanted to hear it. The teachers can’t bring up religion but the students can and I did. I pray whenever I want and I always have. That is what Christian parents should be teaching their kids. Instead of teaching them to feel squashed, empower them.

Another reason to protest is that some parents are not good parents. Maybe you are amazing parents and you wont need to hear this and you are not the reason for the health clinic. But I did not trust my parents. My parents were not the worst parents in the world but I did not trust them. Some parents hate that their kids are transgender and they abuse them or for other reasons and these kids need help. Health clinics can really help the kids that have really bad parents or no parents. Some foster kids are in bad homes too. Some of these programs are meant for kids that have no one, not for the kids that have loving homes and parents that are not hurting them.

My biggest reason for protesting is that I am tired of the hatred and fear that is causing more pain to our society. I want people to understand that Jesus never said anything about LBGTQIA+ people. There was no cultural context for this group of people when the bible was written and what was written, if you actually do word studies, when homosexuality is mentioned in the bible, they are talking about sex addiction, rape, incest and sex trafficking and not committed relationships between loving people. But Jesus did say to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.

The part that I am stuck on is that Karen and I were debating this event. She hasn’t had time to research the event and some of the things she has heard about. She is a Republican but luckily she is a more moderate one, so we agree more than disagree many times. But the items she was bringing up are very fear-minded and they are not listed on the flyer. So even though they are not listed on the flyer, which can’t be found on the organizations Facebook or the wall of the host’s Facebook, people are talking. I spent time looking today because I wanted to find answers for not only her but for me and I couldn’t find them. If perfect love (of Christ) casts out all fear, why are we creating more laws to control humans? Why aren’t we trying to impose more compassion and love for children, even if we don’t understand what they are going through?

If Republicans are against bigger government, why are they constantly trying to make more laws to control human behavior?

K-12 Student Behavioral Health in Washington by Office of the Washington State Auditor Pat McCarthy — June 22, 2021
School-Based Health Center Program by Healthier Washington Collaboration Portal
School Health Centers by Douglas Gordon, Hon, AIA for National Clearinghouse for Educational Facilities — October 2010
What is Critical Race Theory, and Why Is It Under Attack? by Stephen Sawchuk for Education Week — May 18, 2021

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Book Review: Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 29, 2023 | About Summer, Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions, Queer Community

Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson is the first book I have read on the topic of what the bible says about being queer. I have read the bible and I have spoken to God but I want to read what more learned people have written on the topic. This topic is personal to me because when I was 20 years old I knew that I had a fight inside of me, although I didn’t know the words. Being a late-bloomer, it didn’t bother me, until I found myself attracted to a few ladies I knew. It wasn’t overwhelming, but I didn’t have overwhelming feelings about men either. At the time, I didn’t know the word demi-sexual or even bi-sexual, which explains why I wasn’t rude about my attractions, like my friends were. I always thought their comments about body parts was belittling to the whole person, therefore, disrespectful. I now know that they were probably what is considered, “normal” and I was different because although I might find a person attractive, I am not sexually attracted to them until I have a deep emotional and intellectual bond with them.

I was raised in a conservative Baptist church and I found the scripture that said homosexuality was an abomination. I had other things to do and no real relationships so I stayed busy. I met Karen G Clemenson 10 years before we became engaged. For some of that time I was seeing a Christian therapist and I admitted some fears I had about feelings I was having about her and sometimes feelings I was feeling from Karen. I prayed a lot. Karen was a wonderful friend. I didn’t want to mess that up. In 2014, when I got sick enough that I couldn’t fake it or hide it, she was by my side and never left. She was never overwhelmed. She was my rock. She was my nurse. She encouraged me to find strength when I didn’t know I could. Somewhere in there; in all that bloody humanity we realized that we had a love that was beyond friendship. We were married 11 days later. It will be 9 years ago on May 9th. After a year of marriage and seeing a different therapist I was able to admit that I was bisexual. Before then I had told people I wasn’t gay, I just married my best friend — talk about denial. I am not in denial anymore because the light of Christ is an amazing thing and this book is just one of many that can help shine light on a dark spot.

As many people engage in polarizing debates we must not only focus on what the scripture says but what it means. Throughout history we have come to understand that we must change our discernment of the bible. During most of the bible times slavery was prevalent, yet we now know slavery is wrong. Brownson wants to help the reader understand key points in the bible and history to re-open discussion about same-sex intimate relationships.

Gender Complimentary Argument

Arguments that same-sex intimate relationships violate God’s divinely intended gender complementarity, but this implies that male and female are incomplete on their own and that is not true. The one-flesh union spoken of in Genesis is not a physical one but a kinship one. Adam and Eve were celebrated for their similarities more than their differences so Genesis does not teach a normative form of gender complimentary. The overall context and language of scripture suggests that the one-flesh bond mentioned in Genesis 2:24 is a lifelong kinship bond which is described through prophetic tradition in the Old Testament when we see Gods’ faithfulness to Israel as a marriage bond which is lifelong and emphasizing grace. This same emphasis is also seen in the New Testament.

The reason against promiscuity is that people are not to say with their bodies what they can’t or will not say with their whole lives. In scripture it is clear that one-flesh bond only takes place between and man and a woman but there is nothing in the bible that excludes committed same-sex unions when the other characteristics of the kinship bonds are met. One flesh does not only refer to sexual relations but the relationship, love, social, community ties and responsibilities the relationship creates and supports.

The bible does not teach normative understanding of gender complimentary.

Cultural Norms

The bible was written in an honor-shame culture where public esteem was highly valued and male/female roles were clearly and sharply defined. Western culture is not like this. The need to honor each other is universal but the concept of shame varies among different cultures. The modern world doesn’t understand gender roles as they did in the ancient world. Men are not offended by female bosses. Women are not naturally passive, subservient and subject to passions. Cultural expectations in the old world have no way of viewing the notion of sexual orientation.

There is a lot of patriarchal beliefs or contrasting egalitarian beliefs shown through the bible, however the New Testament illustrates we leave that behind in the New Life we share in Christ. The hierarchy of gender cannot be used today as a form of gender complimentary, which is allegedly violated by same-sex intimate relationships. Many people can argue that what the bible says about same-sex eroticism that ancient world does not apply to the committed queer relationships of today. We need a cross-cultural sexual ethic that includes justice and love that may have relevance for queer relationships.

What is normal in the bible may not have been able to be envisioned by the writers of the bible due to cultural norms. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider them.

Procreation & Sex

Marriage does not require the ability to procreate to be valid and the inability to bear children is not a reason for divorce. Reliable contraception has changed how we think about relationship between sex and procreation — increasing the importance of bonding through sex and in some cases replacing the procreative meaning of sex.

The Old Testament does not call for celibacy as a lifelong calling for all people, although it is appropriate for short-term avoidance of sex for holiness purposes. Some people are called to a life of celibacy but not all. If not all are called to a life of celibacy than isn’t it better to allow queer people to marry so they do not fall into promiscuity from their unfulfilled passions?

Promiscuity is rejected because it cannot cultivate a lifelong relationship and spread disease.

Other Benefits of Marriage

In ancient days marriage was important to maintain the responsibility and duties to sustain a household. Now society benefits many ways when people live together in long-term committed unions — taxes, better health are just a few.

Society has interest in supporting marriages in order to provide for care of children but this is not the only reason and this lack of procreative capacity cannot deny legitimacy to queer couples in a stable marriage.

What Paul Says

When Paul talks about sexual behaviors that are unacceptable in Romans 1:24-27 he is talking about excessive, self-centered desire and not normal sexual relationships. He also might be referring to the Roman Emperor Gaius Galigula whose idolatry and sexual excesses earned him a gruesome death.

Paul doesn’t see sexual desire as a sin but if it gets out of control it can become lust and lead to sin.

The core form of moral logic that characterizes sexual misconduct as “impure” is the internal attitudes and disposition — lust and lack of restraint. In committed same-sex marriages, where there is discipline, can we still call this union impure?

The Church Today

The church has welcomed queer folks but abhorred their way of handling their emotions with shame. The church may wrestle with Paul’s words about queer relationships but the real issue is promiscuity and lack of self-control which are not part of committed marriages.

The church should stand against relationships marked by dominance, lack of consent, lack of mutuality, including and especially relationships between adults and minors. The bible verses that speak regarding homosexual or same-sex relations are relating to extreme situations: rape, incest, human trafficking, prostitution, sex with angels, overindulgence, idolatry; of course we, as Christians, should be against this lack of self-control and humiliation of others. This is not the type of behavior celebrated in most loving and supportive marriages whether they are same-sex or heterosexual.

Psychologists recognize a persistent, non pathological pattern of same-sex orientation as a “natural” phenomenon in some people. This phenomenon results from a complex interaction between genetics, hormonal influences and social context and it is causing us to question the “nature” of individuals.

Because we are all one in Christ.

I already know God made me for a time such as this. I know He loves me and He knows that my wife and I love Him and each other. He has not condemned us. It was good to read something from someone that knows more than me, but I already knew I was blessed because when I asked God, once I was able to say, “I am queer,” if I should divorce my wife, He said no.

I got this book from my own collection. You can get your own copy of Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I felt that Brownson gave a real effort to explain the cultural differences between the time when the bible was written and the way we live now and how we have already made many changes according to how we have adapted to change: like how we view women in leadership and slavery. I appreciate how he studied the scriptures and related articles of the time to look for connections between gender-complimentary as a requirement. He answered the question of procreation as the reason to outlaw same-sex unions, because it is not a requirement for heterosexual unions. He answered the medical proof that many queer people have not chosen their orientation and instead of requiring them to live a frustrated life where they may end up failing away to sin, that honoring loving, stable, lifelong relationships would answer the need for the lifelong love language between married partners that might lead them to another form of the new creation in Christ. It is a good start for some.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

When We Make Laws to Control People We are Mocking Jesus on the Cross

by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 21, 2023 | Community, Life, Opinions, Prayers, Queer Community

The gift that Jesus gave us by His death, burial and resurrection is not understood nearly as big until you have read the Old Testament. There are books filled with so many laws that it is exhausting to think about how you could do much of anything else but focus on these laws all day and try to follow them. No wonder we needed Jesus. I am convinced that this is the reason that God did it this way, to prove that we needed a Savior because there was no way to keep all those rules. Human nature makes it impossible. In fact laws being as they are, cause us to need more of them and they become more important than the people they are designed to protect so then it is no longer about protecting people but about rules. Which is where Jesus had trouble with the Pharisees (Mark 7:6-7). But when we make laws to control people we are mocking Jesus on the cross.

I have read this part of scripture so many times, usually focusing on the specific types of spiritual gifts because that is very human of me to want to have the power to heal or prophecy, teach or lead, work miracles, discern or speak in tongues or translate but today, it seems very apparent to me the this scripture is not about the gift but the Giver that is in me. My Creator did not equip me with gifts so that I could bless myself but God’s agenda — to love my neighbor — all my neighbors. (Matthew 5:43-44)

I call my Creator God, because that is how I know Him, but even calling Him, Him is a taught comfort. God calls Himself Father, probably because Hew knew how many of us would need a loving and consistent Father, but since God is Spirit, He doesn’t have a gender. God is really a They or a Them and when God speaks internally the pronoun used was “Us.” (Genesis 1:26)

The same Lord who created me, created you. They love us both and offer us the same mercy and salvation — and even spiritual gifts, as the Spirit sees fit. Whether you and I agree on politics, religion or any other topic under the sun, were are all the same in the eyes of God (Galatians 3:26-28). We are called to love each other — especially those we think are our enemies (see Matthew 5:43-44 again).

There are churches that want to condemn sex education classes and ostracize transgender children in the name of protecting their children and religious freedom. These same churches house people that have sexually victimized people I know. They have taught beyond the bible and created their own doctrines. I do not hate them. I feel sorrow for them. They have missed the love of Christ somewhere and that this love is for everyone. They have let fear blind them so they do not see the sin at their feet.

Fear is the root of hate. If we are honest than the light of Christ can heal so much. His light can open our eyes to the real issues.

Sex is not a bad topic as long as we are honest about it. My parents never talked to me about sex. I am thankful for the public school system. Without the education I was given, I would have only known what my friends told me until I realized I could do my own research and most kids do not do that.

Transgender children have enough problems with body dysmorphia, most likely they don’t want to dress down for PE or take showers at school. As the fattest kid in my class, I know, I didn’t. All children need somewhere where they are not treated badly and many times home is not a safe place for trans kids.

How about Christian parents teaching their kids to extend compassion instead of judgement and fear while loving their neighbor as themselves?

Christians were called to be different and God didn’t mean being a bully. Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment and He said: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength; This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

I was listening to a sermon on TV last week and the way the preacher described the old text was that we were supposed to go out of our way to love our neighbor, as if they were of greater value than us. That is a huge difference than what I do and I often see. Instead, I see:

‘This people honors Me with their lips but their heart is far from Me. 7 And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrine the commandments of men.’ Mark 7:6-7

I am so thankful that Jesus came and found me under the apple trees when I was 5-years-old. He knew I would need Him to guide me through some scary things. He knew I would be able to see, hear, smell, feel and taste things others could not and that is why He made me and chose me. This same Savior loves us all, whether we are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Trumpster, Queer, Straight, Law-abiding, Criminal, Fat or Fit, Rich or Poor or any other trait any of us might judge each other for and He gifts us as He sees fit for the moment.

You might condemn me because I am bisexual or demi-sexual or because I am happily married to a woman for 9 years on May 9th. But I know God does not. I know this because I asked Him and He told me not to divorce her. He is the true head of our household and Karen and I love it that way. When we cna’t handle each other, we hand each other off to our Maker because He knows exactly what to do.

We must, as Christians, remember that Christ came to free us from the law. Laws were meant to lead us to Christ but righteousness doesn’t come through laws, especially new laws. Church and State must be separate because when we live in the Spirit, as we are called to, the Spirit guides us to live in love, where are neighbor is more important than ourself so laws are not necessary. When we are loving God with all our heart, soul and mind and our neighbor as ourself, laws are only necessary for people that do not know Jesus. Living in any other way makes a mockery of what Jesus did on the cross. (Galatians 2:20-21)

Being a Christian is simple. Our life is about making our life about God. Our life is not about judging others.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

What Was His Name?

by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 22, 2022 | About Summer, Life, Opinions, Prayers, Queer Community

I have been reading through Genesis lately and there is a ton of history in there but there are a lot of lists of names too. They are tedious. I usually read out loud and Karen, my wife, will be listening and every once in a while she will say: what was his name?

My answer is always, that was the best I can do. I have not been to seminary and I haven’t spent hours with people that are scholars that know how to pronounce the names in the bible so I do the best I can guess and I move on. I do the same with the names of the towns and the rivers and mountains.

I couldn’t sleep for a while last night and I was up thinking. I was considering some of the lists I had read the last few days. God does not tell every story about every person listed in the bible. He inspired the writers of the bible to a few choice people. But He did inspire the writers to put seeming endless lists of names in the Word. These lists don’t give hints to how to say these names. They don’t give anything away about the character of these people, their favorite things, if they walked with God or if they asked God questions.

But the beauty of God is that He knows everything about these people. Whether our names are in the bible or not, He knows our name. He knows where we came from. When we met Him. What our favorite things are. He knows if we tend to be happy all the time or can be a bit maudlin. He is not intimated by my endless questions…

I couldn’t help but be overjoyed while I lay in the dark that I was friends with a God that was so personal that He knew the most intimate things about everyone and it didn’t overwhelm Him because He is Spirit and He is like a cloud of infinite memory, love and relationship abilities.

I have a friend that has been really hurt in their life by everyone that said they loved them. It has taken years of therapy to help them come to a place where they feel they are healing. There is a lot of pain, anger and many other feelings and memories to heal from. They often post things about Christians that are hypocrites. Their posts make me sad. So sad.

I know my friend knows Jesus and Jesus is helping them. I know that God accepts them and all the judgements that have been made about my friend are wrong, ignorant, unloving and, as they say, hypocritical.

When I married, Karen G Clemenson, I was in denial. I couldn’t be queer. My mind was telling me that I couldn’t be gay. That was an abomination. I just married my best friend. We loved each other. But a year into my marriage, after seeing a therapist who helped me start to accept my truth, and talking to God, I realized, I was queer and I hadn’t lost God. He hadn’t stopped loving me, talking to me, or left me for one second. When I asked Him if He wanted me to divorce my wife, He said, “No.”

Yet when I considered membership to a church, I met with the pastor who told me that he did not agree with the law, but he did appreciate that read the bible. I was welcome to come to their church but I wouldn’t be allowed to be in a leadership position.. There were sincere people that cared about us, but there were other people that were scared of us and I just didn’t feel brave enough to handle their emotions on top of my chronic illnesses. In the end I left because I felt like the pastor was always planning his next missions trip and I had already grown up with a missing dad and it just felt too similar…

Why am I talking about this? Because we can’t know why people do what they do, but God does.He knows all our names. He knows everything about us. He even knows the people that might seem to be hypocrites or evil.

Yesterday I vented a little about Donald Trump. I hope that I didn’t offend too many people. I still feel the way I do about him but I do want him to find peace. I would hope that you could find a moment to pray for someone that makes you feel un-peaceful that they would find salvation and healing so that they would find peace and joy. I would love for heaven to have great joy because many came to repentance.

It feels better to pray for the people that makes us afraid than to hold onto the fear or hate. We were made to love. God is love and we were made in His image so it just makes sense that love is part of our DNA.

If you haven’t talked to God in a while, today is as good a day as any. He hasn’t forgotten your name.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

It Is Time to be Brave

by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 21, 2022 | Education, Life, Opinions, Queer Community, Thanksgiving

On Saturday night Queer people met at the one LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs, Colorado, a very conservative community, where they felt they could be themselves, Club Q. They were dancing, laughing and having a great time when Anderson Lee Aldrich walked in with a long rifle and two firearms and opened fire, killing 5 people and injuring 25 others. He was overtaken by two people who attacked him and stopped the shooting. At this time, Aldrich will face multiple murder and hate crime charges yet he has no bond and the docket does not reflect whether Aldrich has retained an attorney at this time. It is time to be brave.

In 2019, Colorado passed a red flag law that allows family members, roommates or law enforcement to petition a judge to temporarily remove a person’s firearms if they are a risk. In June of 2021, Aldrich was arrested for a bomb threat situation, yet he was allowed to keep his firearms.

We must mourn this loss of life and trust and then be brave. Be angry but not sin. This is just one of many terrible things that humans have done to each other but we must not let this let the darkness become who we are because we were made to be the light of the world. We were supposed to unlearn fear and choose love and be love to a world that is confused.

My wife, Karen G Clemenson, asked me the other night, after I had told her what I had learned about the actual first Thanksgiving, which is not at all what we were taught in grade school, does that make me feel good? What did I plan to do with that knowledge? I told her the same thing. I plan to mourn the fact that I was lied to. I plan to mourn the loss of life of innocent people. I plan to become a person with a greater ability to empathize with others. That doesn’t mean that I wont celebrate Thanksgiving in a way that honors my belief in being thankful to God for the blessings He pours over us every day, the people that we have to love, the roof over our heads, medical care, books to read, the ability to think, clothes to wear and food to eat.

Does it make me sad that these beautiful people were attacked on the eve of Trans Day of Remembrance? It makes me feel a lot of things. Sadness is just one emotion. I feel angry, disgusted and exhausted. People should be able to live their lives in peace.

It also seems to make me connect with the fact that Donald Trump threw his hat in the ring for President in the next election, last Tuesday. I believe that everyone has the right to believe what they believe, but that also means that I have a right to believe what I believe. I believe that Trump is a power hungry man that doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I believe he is an emotional neglect survivor that is abusive and spews the violence that he knows and encourages the same.

I think Trump encourages White Supremacists and people that hate to come out of hiding. I am not against Republicans. I am against hateful people.

Hateful people are everywhere, whether they are attacking queer people or Native Americans, Black people or other people groups. We must be brave and mourn what must be mourned and then look at what can be learned and love even more. It is not always easy. Society tends to push us towards hatred and it may seem that by being against hateful people that I am saying I hate them but that is not the case. I pray for people that hurt me. I may separate myself from them if I feel I can’t be loving towards them but I try to refrain from negative speech and I try to be honest without being violent in my words.

It is ok to be sad and mourn but we also must be brave and love with all our hearts. Be well my friend. I am thankful for you.

Colorado Springs LGBTQ club shooting suspect faces murder and hate crime charges, court records show by Elizabeth Wolfe, Holly Yan and Amanda Watts for CNN on November 21, 2022

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Book Review: Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty

by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 9, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Food, Life, Opinions, Queer Community

…So I was digging through this bag of books my sister gave me and I found this book with colorful pictures and food on the cover and was excited to read it, thinking I would learn a lot about food but was surprised when I learned so much more. Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty is a book about just that, a journey, but not just by Twitty, but the other people he has met along the way.

Being Jewish is not just a religion, it is a culture. It is a generally led through the mother so gender is important. Most people have been led to believe that Jews are white/caucasian or Middle Eastern but there are Jews all over the world and many are Black and they have been left out of the conversation much of the time. If you’re a Black Jew, as in most situations, you are a color before you are anything else, as dictated by society’s standard.

“Your place in the mishpocheh, the family, and how you navigate that place, not just with others but within yourself — that is the bootcamp of identity, especially intersectional identity, and it’s where you find your special truth that only you can bring to the table.” Chapter 3

Mishpocheh (mesh-poh-keh) is Yiddish for kinfolk or people that are from where you are from. Yiddish is a transition language between German and the Jewish person’s original language just as Ebonics wasn’t bad English, originally, but a transition between native tongues and English. Twitty doesn’t go into detail about Ebonics beyond this but the fact that people still use Ebonics, does cause my wife’s skin to crawl because it is reminder of being enslaved that should be let go while we celebrate liberation.

One reason I love to read is that it stretches my brain. I really look forward to reading some more about Jewish culture, and then re-reading this book. Twitty uses a lot of Jewish terms without explaining them and although I did find a glossary at the end of the book, and I did Google several terms while I was reading, I think I will better appreciate this book after reading some more on the culture. He did try to explain the words that make up the main tile for the book:

“Kosher” is a standard of ritual fitness according to Jewish dietary laws and sometimes to other parts of Jewish material culture and ritual observance because G-d says so and because it connects other Jews.

“Soul” has its own connotations of soul food, soul music, soul people, soul dancing. However, soul food, has come to mean both African American vernacular cuisine and the comfort food core traditions of other folk cuisines. Soul means a certain vibe and feeling, an earthiness and peace with yourself and your people. Soul food is based on the ingredients: corn, tomatoes, peppers, pineapples and peanuts which were ready available to enslaved people.

About the People

“Loving yourself means you remember you are betzelem Elokim — made in G-d’s image — as much as any other person. It means that G-d has love for you as an LGBTQ person and that your struggles and strengths matter to our Creator. In the LGBTQ community, we have conflicts between one another as men and women, cis and trans, white — identified and people of color, disabled and not, wealthy and financially challenged. Your duty is to apply the best of Jewish values — mainly a concern for the stranger and those in need, and the urge to support the oppressed — because we were all of those in the time of our enslavement and captivity, and we are duty bound to be compassionate and loving and empathetic. Be grateful and thankful for your difference in the world and for the opportunity to feel for others what you feel for others.” Chapter 11; Mayseh; The Letter I Always Wanted to Write

The relationship between people and food helps bring groups together which is why “Jewish” food is a vast word.

Jewish people have been judged and ridiculed everywhere they have been — it is sad to know why it is easy to see why they have failed to reach out to marginalized Black folks — Jews or otherwise. To reach out to Black people would bring them into the position of abuse. White Supremacy has brought division and fear here too.

“We are here to be family to one another, to exist for the sake of others, even as others exist for our sake.” Chapter 1

I have been interested in learning about Jewish culture for some time and I am thankful that I read this book. I believe it has reminded me to learn more about this culture. As a Jesus follower, I see it as learning another part of my Savior, but also I believe we are all connected and learning about other cultures helps me to see me in the world better. There are some wonderful recipes, interesting cultural references and great personal stories throughout this book which make it a fascinating read. I highly recommend it, although it can get a little dry here and there, it is easy to overlook.

I got this book from my sister, Jamie Holloway, you can get your copy of Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty on Amazon.com.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was not expecting what I got when I picked up this book but I enjoyed what I got. Twitty is a well-read person with lots of words and I did have to look several up, which I kind of enjoyed. I plan to read this book again, after I have read a few more books on Jewish culture, and have a better understanding of some of the basics. I enjoyed the many contributors and viewpoints Twitty shared and his personal point of view, it really helped me see outside of myself. I also look forward to exploring some of the recipes.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Are You a TERF?

by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 24, 2022 | Education, Opinions, Queer Community

Recently I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a new friend on Messenger that helped me grow a new wrinkle on my brain, the one place I want as many wrinkles as possible. Her name isn’t really Susan, but I wasn’t sure she wanted me to share her real name so I gave her a name that people, for some reason, often mistake my name for:

Susan: Are You are TERF?

Me: I don’t understand. What do you mean?

Susan: There is a certain comedian that had gone out of their way to include transphobic material in their comedy routines. A TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Me: “Well, I didn’t know they did that. And I am not judgmental towards anybody in the family. I just agreed with the statement, in this scenario. They are also an atheist and I don’t agree with them on that level either. I don’t think I will ever meet them so there is no chance we will be friends, but if we do meet, I will ask them why they pick on such beautiful people just for money. It only makes them look small. Do I need to take the post down?”

Susan: “It would make me more comfortable if you did. This post resonates with me on the terms of some of the transphobic things they have said.’

Me: “Thank you for telling me about your feelings and this term.”

Susan: “I’m glad we could have some amount of dialogue over it and move forward.”

Me: “I am too. The post is gone.”

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism is a form of transphobia or specifically trans-misogyny that targets trans women and trans-feminine people.

There does seem to be a group of lesbians and radical feminists that believe that including trans-females “erases” them or makes them less relevant,. There are events in Europe where trans-females have been excluded which have caused angst with groups that support both lesbians and trans-females.

In the purest form of feminism, all genders have equal rights and opportunities and there is respect for diversity, experiences, identities, knowledge, strength and striving for women, and everyone to realize their full rights.

Some feminists do not see transgender females as women; they feel as though since this group of people were assigned male at birth, they are privy to male privilege and can’t fully appreciate the subordinate social position of women in society. These women believe that by choosing to live as a female, transgender females are exercising another form of male entitlement. This reason has allowed them to exclude trans women from womanhood and women-only spaces, creating a sex-based oppression.

These radical feminists are losing footing in the United States as annual events are seeing artists boycott events that exclude transgender women. One trans woman that was excluded from Michfest in 2014 said, “it’s not really wanting to invade space. It’s a deep-seated wanting to belong.” But she added, “if you’re identifying with women, shouldn’t you be empathizing with women?” What is a Women; The New Yorker

Why is is wrong to look at only biological gender as a marker for gender? Because there are many differences that make the female experience different. Race, sexuality and social status make a difference in the experiences of womanhood, let alone the binary construct that gender dwells on. Trans females and trans-feminine people face very serious oppression and suffer with high rates of violence, homelessness, poverty, sexual assault and healthcare discrimination. Women’s spaces and resources need to be available to them, including shelters, survivor support, health care, and bathrooms all need to be made available to every person; trans-men may need pregnancy and related services as well. By alienating trans-females, cis women that are more masculine have been targeted because people have assumed they are trans.

I am really glad that Susan reached out to me and not just because we got to share really cute pictures of our cats after we were done talking about TERFs but because she helped me learn about a topic I wouldn’t have learned about otherwise. When I referred to “the family” I was talking to all queer folks whether they are an L-G-B-T-Q-I or A, we need to stick together and support each other not just because we suffer persecution sometimes but because we are fellow humans. As humans we can all relate to each other, knowing that we all suffer, we all want to grow and we all seek joy.

I wish you well.

How to Spot TERF Ideology by The University of Cambridge Women’s Campaign
‘Pro-lesbian’ or ‘trans-exclusionary’? Old animosities boil into public view by Julie Compton for NBC News January 14, 2019
Price Waterhouse v. Hopkins at Thirty by Sasha Buchert — Senior Attorney, Lambda Legal for Alliance for Justice May 1, 2019
What is a Woman? The dispute between radical feminism and transgenderism by Michelle Goldberg for The New Yorker American Chronicles July 28, 2014
What is Feminism? by International Women’s Development Agency Staff
You many have heard about TERFs Winter 2019 Newsletter by Gender Justice Staff

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

There Are Many Ways to Stand

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 25, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Life, Opinions, Queer Community

This weekend I was accused of being a pacifist by someone I consider a child. Not that they weren’t of adult age but they were in their early 20’s, they have never had a job because they are disabled and they still live with their parents. I remember being in my 20’s I thought I knew a lot. I knew some, but I didn’t know what I know now, which is, I know a little more and asking questions is the best way to make sure you understood what someone meant, listening is the best way to hear the whole comment and not speaking at all is sometimes wise. I never could ask this person about themselves because they shouted at me each time I spoke, even though I was talking about myself. I was very confused. But there are many ways to stand.

We were talking about police and it was clear that they did not like the police. They could not understand my stance. I have had little experience with the police but my few experiences were fine. I respect the police. I believe that it is our responsibility to remain calm when dealing with the police. I don’t know what they just dealt with. I don’t need to trigger them, even if I think they stopped me for no reason; which I have never experienced. Since I have training in trauma de-escalation it is my responsibility to use it, even when dealing with the police. I use it with every chance I need to. When people are yelling, I don’t believe they are communicating well. I don’t believe that it is the police officer’s responsibility to make me choose good behavior.

I should mention that the person was part of a group of people who all joined in, it was quite shocking to me; I have never understood group think. I am suddenly being told about systemic racism and male superiority…blah blah blah…Hello! We live in Longview, Washington. That is everywhere, not just at the police station. Eventually I stopped talking because I don’t believe in arguing with people that can’t or wont let me finish my sentences. But that accusation stuck with me. The look on their faces when I had told them that I had just spent the week reading about Gandhi and I just didn’t believe we needed to start out situations fighting…I felt really pushed out.

I have given a lot of thought to that experience. Not everyone thinks the way I do. Not everyone is blessed with the time I have had to be in therapy and to study the bible and be with God as much as I have. Not everyone has been able to read the books I have that have helped me. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson really answered a question I have had for most of my life: The meaning of life is to unlearn fear and relearn to love. It fit in what was already in my heart. It made sense. Not going to church regularly for the last 20 years has been a blessing because church politics really slows down the process of knowing Jesus. Many people don’t know there is value in these things to even aspire to them.

We are all hurting people. We all have our traumas. The people I was talking to have been hurt. Unlike myself, who didn’t know I was queer until I was almost 40, these people knew their whole lives and they have been shut out, put down and abused by our community. They have had to fight and defend themselves, for being themselves, for years. This is what they know. I understand this for being female and fat and now disabled, but it has only been the last 8 years that I have learned that it is also like this when you are queer and black and sometimes when you have a cat…That is what I felt in my spirit when I was considering my experience. Until we learn to communicate in a different way, we fight. It is just like this for gay people. I have experienced this in lots of situations with people who have experienced trauma.

I think differently because I don’t rely on newspapers and television to feed my mind. I choose positive music, books and people to talk to; I choose my news media very carefully. I talk to God all the time and He loves everyone and He shows me how to have compassion and see other perspectives. I am blessed because I can stand with Him and know I am never alone. It is easy for me to choose peace first.

After coming to peace with the people I had thought were my adversaries but were really hurt people, defending themselves, I wanted to make sure I understood the word Pacifism. I used to throw it around carelessly when I was a young woman but I have learned to not be careless with my words if I can help it.

Pacifism is a commitment to peace and an opposition to violence. Some people who aspire to pacifism believe specifically that war is wrong and that pacifism should also be used to promote social justice and human rights. Gandhi often used the word Ahimsa along with pacifism which some say is like love in action. When I read his autobiography, the best way I understood him was to say it was a perfect love and non-violence. But Gandhi is not the only voice that has told me about being a peacemaker. Jesus spoke of being a peacemaker on the Mount of Olives in Matthew, Chapter 5; Jesus said peacemakers are blessed.

There are 5 Types of Pacifism:

1. Absolute Pacifism
  An absolute pacifist believes that it is never right to take part in war. Their view is that the value of human life never justifies killing a person deliberately, even in self-defence.
2. Militant Pacifism
  Militant pacifists will use every peaceful method at their disposal to oppose violence and war. This may include civil disobedience which may result in imprisonment or even death.
3. Conditional Pacifism
  Conditional pacifists are against war and violence in principle, but they accept that there may be circumstances when war may lead to less suffering.
4. Selective Pacifism
  Selective pacifists only oppose wars involving weapons of mass destruction (nuclear, chemical or biological weapons) because of their uniquely devastating consequences to not only humans, but to all living things. Large scale use of weapons of mass destruction also raises the prospect of the annihilation of humans as a species.
5. Active Pacifism
  Active pacifists advocate peace and argue against violence and war.

According to these precepts I believe that the last three are true for me; Conditional, Selective and Active Pacifism are all true for me but not only in war but in every day life. As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder I am more sensitive than some people and I don’t need a trigger. That is not anyone’s responsibility but my own but because I feel so much I see that we hurt each other so easily. Yelling is violence. Calling names is violence. Refusing to put down our phones and look at each other is neglect. Not letting someone finish their sentence and attacking them before you have heard their whole thought is abuse. We don’t think about these things because we see on TV that people are dismissive, selfish and covetous all the time so we think this is acceptable. It is but it is not beneficial to our health.

The bible says that all things are permissible but not everything is good for us (1 Corinthians 10:23). War is a good way to make money but is it good for life and Godliness? It is good for our mental health and relationships? I do believe that we live in a world of humans and humans require war sometimes. War is unavoidable at times but when I say war I am talking at many levels.

I can always tell when families yell at each other. Their kids scream and their dogs bark uncontrollably. Families that practice listening to each other, speaking kindly, listening to each other, asking questions and making time for conversation have children that are patient and dogs that can wait.

When you are angry with me if you come at me accusing me, I promise you, I will be triggered and I wont hear you because I too have my own trauma experiences. But if you come to me, calmly, and tell me I hurt your feelings we will have a conversation where we will both grown.

If you can remain calm when you are dealing with a police officer, speak kindly, do what you are told, even if you are feel disrespected, your chances of going home are higher than if you are over react or feel like you have to defend yourself now. You can sue them later. I believe there are more good police officers than bad ones; but they are human and they make mistakes, they get tired and they have bad days just like we all do. We all have a responsibility to each other. It is no one’s responsibility to control my behavior but my own and I plan to remain calm and help anyone, if I can, to remain calm too.

In times when war must happen I feel it should be swift and just. Our current situation with Ukraine has me torn. I hear from a friend that knows people that have lived there that the president is not an honest man, that what we are being told is not the truth, that although Putin is not a good man, he is not the devil he has been portrayed as either. This pains my heart. But then I look at media from other countries and it seems to say similar to what the United States media says. This is the confusion that hurts my heart. Because I know that as we pour money into assisting the Ukrainian people, we are hurting United States citizens. We are not unable to tighten our belts and help our neighbor, that is part of war but I really hope that we are helping an honorable cause because I do understand that there are things we are not privy to that may also be true for these people with ties to Ukraine that my friend knows. I can’t help think about how many nukes are in the area and how many people could be hurt. I don’t understand why we have tools of war like that. If we kill everybody, it doesn’t matter who has the power…

…isn’t that the reason that some people terrorize others, whether it is calling names, treating them poorly or killing them, for power? If that is power, I want to stand a different way. I believe in freedom; freedom of choice, speech, religion, to love who you love, to pursue happiness…The only power I want is to be able to choose to control myself.

Defining Pacifism by Mike de Sousa
Pacifism by Andrew Fiala for Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 2018

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

I Don’t Hate Pride Month

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 8, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

You know when there are times when you say something in passing that leaves others thinking something you didn’t mean, but maybe there is a grain of truth in it too? That happened to me last week. But I would like to take a moment and clarify that I don’t hate Pride Month.

It was just a week ago and my sister, Jamie, sent me a message: Happy Pride Month!

I promptly responded with: Yes. We will be inundated for the month of June. Ugh!

I didn’t mean to be rude or dismissive but it just seems like Pride Months of the past have been times where flamboyant queer people flash their feathers with great gusto and conservative Christians get offended and everything is suddenly about equality and I feel a bit bombarded. But in my every day life I am happily married to my beautiful wife and we live our lives and in our reality being queer is just something we don’t worry about because we are 46 and 57-years-old and it hurts to get out of bed in the morning, its hard to remember if eating the entire egg is healthy or not and I am very glad Xavier woke Karen up because she forgot to plug her iPhone in and her alarm didn’t go off.

But you know what I have noticed that I love? I don’t feel bombarded this year because certain media outlets have gotten better at including trans people and same sex couples in commercials and TV shows (yes it could be better but I am not ungrateful) and people are safer to be proud more naturally and so Pride is what is should be, an every day thing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain parts of The United State where queer folks have it much harder than they do in other parts of The US. I also know that in Longview, Washington gay men have it harder than queer women and no one knows what to do with trans folks here. I know this. I am sorry. I also know that ignorance and prejudice live everywhere and I regret that too but we are growing and I want to take a moment and praise Jesus that humans are hating each other a little bit less and loving each other a little bit better every day, regardless of what the media wants to force feed us. By the way…the answer to all these situations is to treat every one with respect regardless of how they dress or who they love…

Hype comes in all colors and so I know a little bit about drama and trauma, those terrible rhyming words. As a white, disabled, fat, poor, mentally ill woman from a dysfunctional family I know about prejudice and privilege. But you know what? Walking behind people you learn that other people get it too. I have a friend that was more poor than me and more terribly abused than me growing up, and walking behind her has broken my heart at times. Until she became healed through prayer and therapy, people saw that on her and it seems like she drew abuse out of them. Walking behind my wife blows my mind. I am invisible when we walk up to another black person unless they read that we are married and then I am as black as they are…but when we were first married, we were at a park in Kirkland and the looks she got from a man, wow! He was not enjoying sharing air with my obviously mixed wife and he was Asian. I really don’t understand that, but Karen says that is normal. So it never shocked me when I got the evil eye from the old white guy when I was holding my wife’s hand under the table at a restaurant. Hate comes in all forms and I never asked him what he hated about me. I am not going to worry about it either. I forgave him.

When I growing up I don’t remember a lot of talk about queer folks but I do know that when I looked it up in the bible by myself, I understood it was an abomination. This was hard because I was having feelings about a lady that worked a diner I went to a lot. I didn’t understand those feelings and she enjoyed setting me up to see her with another woman, so I am pretty sure, she felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me uncomfortable so it was really easy for me to shut that part of myself off.

I had always found both sexes attractive so I thought I just saw beauty in all people. My nana had taught me to not waste my affections on people I wouldn’t marry and my pastor had taught me that if a person wasn’t my spouse, they were someone else’s and I should wait for marriage so all these things helped me justify why I didn’t think about people the way my friends did. They were horn-balls! Now I know that I am demi-sexual and so it is normal that I would not be sexually attracted to someone unless I was intimately connected with them emotionally…which explained the very short list…which my wife is very happy about. I am too.

I wish I had waited for marriage. Not for religious reasons but for emotional ones. It is just deeper and safer and better with someone you know wants to be there every day for the rest of your life. Maybe that isn’t important to some people, but it is to me.

I was married for 1 year before I came to terms with the fact that I was queer. I remember telling people that I didn’t feel gay. I just married my best friend. One year in and I had a good cry and talk with God and the main message I got when I asked Him if I should divorce my wife was, “No!” When I asked Him for scripture to back Him up and He said: Galatians 3:28

I said some stupid things that first year. Things I wish I hadn’t said because now I understand I was ignorant and maybe even hurtful to people that hadn’t come out yet. But I have forgiven myself and if I get the chance to step back those statements, I will because I understand now, that I was scared and ignorant. The men in the bible were doing abominable things. They were raping and murdering people out of hatred and control. They were not in loving relationships or even consensual ones. That was the abomination.

Abusing people is never ok. NEVER OK. This is what we should hate. Not a month where we celebrate people that want to be accepted and seen.

I learned a new word today: Heterosexism. It is similar in power to Homophobia but I think it is bigger. The word Heterosexism first showed up in writings by Craig Rodwell, a gay rights activist, in 1971. Heterosexism is a belief that female-male sexuality and relationships are the only norm and that makes them superior. This attitude extends beyond the bedroom, but also in the workplace, medical facilities and every part of society. No wonder people are so offended by Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer.

But back to Homophobia, this term was coined by a straight psychologist, named George Weinberg, in late 1960’s. He was probably self-diagnosing himself, because this term describes someone who is afraid to be in the vicinity of someone who is queer, their culture and behaviors.

I am glad that my fear is going away regarding people. You know who scares me now? Not LBGTQIA+ people. Closed-minded people. People that think it is ok to hurt people for any reason at all. I have met some of their victims and it makes me want to more than pray, but that is what God said to do and I know He listens to my prayers.

As for me, I am enjoying a quiet Pride Month but I am also enjoying posts from friends that are going all out. I am happy for them. However you are celebrating, I hope you enjoy yourself and know that I know you are valuable and beautiful and loved. Happy Pride!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Being a Victim

by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 2, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

I have a lot of labels I could wear. If you read my blog, you are aware of them. I have several chronic diagnoses that I deal with every day. But as I am healing from some of the damage from my past, I realize that I can stop being a victim. Victim? Who is hurting me? Well, in reality in every relationship where there is a victim, both the victim and the victimizer are the victim and the victimizer. That is a lot to swallow but hear me out.

Yes, I am an emotional neglect survivor. I have lived through some trauma both real and imagined, in my mentally ill mind, before I found the proper treatment. I come from people that know trauma. I think that is pretty common. But that is not who I have to stay. I can choose to be a woman that is healing and learning to be a positive thinker, a person that is forgiving as issues arise and a person that is trying to live in the moment instead of staying tied to the past or avoiding now by daydreaming about what could happen. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, to anyone, especially myself.

When I am a victim, I become defensive. This is a natural response. In my retaliation, I vindicate myself by hurting my victimizer, therefore I make them a victim and I take on their role as the victimizer. it sounds childish and it really is. I want to grow up. I don’t want to act like a child. I am 46 years old and I want to act like a caring, intelligent woman. Because that is what I am.

Caring, intelligent women, use their brains. They don’t have to tear people apart with manipulation and rejection, they can set healthy boundaries and say yes or no, depending on their own limits and they can choose how much time they give to loved ones that are not making choices to get well or to honor their boundaries.

When you choose to stop being a victim, you might entice some of your loved ones to make healthier choices to work toward their own wellness and that is something to celebrate, but you might not and that is hard. Being a grown up means we have to accept each for who we are and if I choose A and you choose B and B hurts me, I might have to limit my time with you or not have you be part of my life at all. That is not being a victim, that is setting proper boundaries for my mental and physical health.

As I began facing my trauma, I came to a point where I needed validation for my abuse. I wish I had left that between me and my therapist, God and the few friends that weren’t offended to hear my stories. Instead I chose to post things on Facebook and my blog. It felt good to write it out. Maybe I could have just written it and printed it and stuck it in a box to burn later but I posted it. At the time, I thought I was being careful to not name names but some people knew who I was talking about and they printed it and sent it to specific people and it just stirred up angst between me and others.I felt validated for a moment, even for several moments but now I wish I had kept it between me and God, my therapist and my few friends. It didn’t add anything to my life.

I am going to chase a rabbit really quick here…just a short jaunt…when I was 25 years old, I realized I was a 20 year old Christian but I felt like a toddler. So I told God I wanted Him to catch me up. God is always willing to do what we ask and the next 7 years were really intense. Basically I stopped going to church, ran every thought and action through Galatians 2:20 and told God to prove Himself.

Since I wasn’t going to a regular church, I ended up going to a small group that was basically saying that everything was finished on the cross and by the resurrection of Christ we were now a new creation. The renewing of the mind was this: that we had parts of ourself that had been forced to fracture off to handle the scary and traumatic parts of our life that were not saved and it was our job to bring them into the part of ourselves that knew Jesus, while also bringing around any other parts of our mind that didn’t realize we were a new creation. It fit well with my goal of seeing the world through Galatians 2:20 and I saw tremendous amounts of healing and restoration in my life. I was able to forgive a lot and God did prove Himself, although I have no proof to prove Him to you…but, I believe that is the way He likes it. God likes to chase down His kids.

Since that time, I have gone through many other experiences. While in this group I did deal with a terrible break up and after the group stopped meeting I kept my friendship with the people and would get together with some of them and we would talk about issues we were going through and I talked about feelings and fears of feelings I had for Karen. I believed being queer was bad because that is how it was taught to me and the leaders of the group agreed with me.

I lost those friends when I married Karen. They didn’t feel their ministries would be strong if they were connected to anyone living our lifestyle. They weren’t the only people I lost when I married Karen but I can understand why they made their choice and I respect it and in reality it is good to know who can’t stand behind you anymore.

So now that I have finished chasing that rabbit, I want to tell you what I learned while I was growing in that group and have been rekindling while I have been reading Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love and The Gift of Change. Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness comes in waves and layers. Forgiveness is probably never-ending. Forgiveness has everything to do with untying myself from people that I hurt, that hurt me, that want me, that don’t want me, and most importantly giving all authority to God who is the only one strong enough to handle all the mess we can make of each other.

What does that mean:

I might have to forgive someone for the same thing, any number of times.
I might need to forgive myself for the same thing, any number of times.
I can’t fix anyone, especially myself.
I don’t have to carry my pain, but I can if I want to and keep hurting, or I can hand it to God and He will take it as many times as I take it back from Him and then hand it back to Him.
I am a perfect creation made by God and that is how He sees me and if I choose to act like a fool, that is only on me but I can stop anytime I want….Hurting people who hurt me only makes me look like someone I am not, a fool.

So what do I know? I know that I have to take my medication or I get sick in the head or my body. I have to go to my doctor and therapy appointments to make sure that everything is working right and my wellness plan is still on the right path. I need daily time with God or I fall over and sometimes I need it more than others and since He said to pray without ceasing I can talk to Him while I cook dinner and He is ok with that. I want to unlearn fear and learn positive thinking so I need to read and watch positive things and limit media with violence and other things that don’t add anything to me. I need to apologize when I know I hurt someone and try to stop that behavior. I need to be loving toward Karen and Xavier because that is how we like to be treated in this house full of stubborn tank-heads.

…and most of all…Nothing can separate me from the love of God. He is with me and for me and He knows I am married to the love of my life and we are queer and that is something that makes me want to smile and I need to try to smile and laugh more because it feels good. Happy Pride Month!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

How Do You Identify?

by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 27, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Education, Life, Queer Community

I don’t talk a lot about my membership in the Queer Community because my realization that I am part of it is so new to me. I know some people cringe at the word queer but LGBTQIA+ is hard to say and even harder to remember and my wife, Karen G Clemenson, had an aneurysm many years ago and some things just don’t stick easily with her so I made the decision that we would use the word queer and if someone wants to know why we use it we can say we are too old to remember all the letters. But truly, even though we tend to be more conservative than most of our fellow queer folks, we were voting for same sex marriage long before we even knew we wanted to marry each other.

All the letters have a meaning though and they are all important:

L – Lesbian (women who are attracted to women sexually)
G – Gay (men who are attracted to men sexually)
B – Bisexual (a person that is attracted to both men and women sexually)
T – Transsexual (a person that experiences a gender identity that is different than the one assigned to them at birth; this has nothing to do with their sexual orientation)
Q – Queer (umbrella term for sexual or gender minorities)
I – Intersex (people who were born with several sex characteristics including chromosome patterns, gonads or genitals)
A – Asexual (a person with a low or absent interest in sexual desire towards others)
+ – (Anyone else including Pansexual; a person that may be attracted to men, women or trans people, Polyamorous; multiple romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved…and anyone not listed…)

I am actual Demisexual which technically falls under the scope of Asexual. Basically demisexual people do not feel romantic interest until a strong emotional bond has been built. For me, gender doesn’t matter but I am never in a hurry to develop a sexual relationship and I would never consider a relationship beyond my marriage. I am not wired that way. My wife really likes that about me.

When it comes to gender I am a Cis-Female. That means I was identified as female at birth and I agree that I am a female. But I know people that were born one gender who identify as another gender. Like my friend Rae. Rae was born female but now is Non-Binary. Rae’s pronouns are now They/Them. One of Karen’s clients was born male but is now in the midst of transitioning to female. This client is a Trans-Female and her pronouns are She and Her.

Today I Want to Talk More About Transsexual People

Confusing, isn’t it? Don’t worry. Rae promises me it is much less hard for me to learn their new pronouns than it is for them to transition. I trust them that they would know better than I would. You see, I don’t have to understand. I just have to love them and treat them with respect. Even if I mess up and use the wrong pronouns, if I just apologize and treat them kindly, usually people are going to forgive me because I am not judging them or treating them poorly, I am not scared of them and I am looking them in the eye and trying to do my best to connect with them.

Did you know that Washington State has anti-discrimination laws that clearly prohibits unjust or prejudicial treatment based on gender expression or identity? These laws protect people in places that serve the public like public schools, restaurants, hotels, renting, buying and selling homes, employment (especially state, municipal and private workplaces with more than 8 employees), credit transactions and insurance transactions. These laws protect people from violence and threats, harassment, intimidation and bullying motivated by gender expression or actual and perceived gender identity.

Trans-Students have the right to join in and play in interscholastic athletics according to the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association, which states that students should be allowed to participate in physical education and athletic activities in a manner that is consistent with their gender identity. If school leadership is not supporting their students they are violating the Equal Protection Clause of the federal Constitution, where schools are responsible for protecting the rights of all students.

If your school is not supporting you or your student you have options please see:

As you may have guessed it, I was fueled by something to write this article. I have a friend named, Roger, who recently shared with me that he has a friend that is having to travel outside his school district because he is not being supported at his school and The Daily News won’t write anything about this story. I told Roger I would, but I got impatient. So I started doing a little research and found out that our state has been working hard to make it a safer place for Trans and Queer folks to live…

In February of 2016 Senate Bill 6443 was defeated in Washington State, making it illegal to harassing based on gender identity or sexual orientation, give LGBT employees fewer benefits or deny people access to restrooms consistent to their gender identity under the law.

In April of 2021 Senate Bill 5313 was passed banning health insurance discrimination. This law made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse covering gender confirming treatments to minors on the basis that they felt it was for cosmetic reasons. This is important because a study found that the trans population could be subject to minority stress and societal stigma which is the cause of mental health disorders without the proper support.

These are all great steps forward for all of us because if one person is made free, we are all made more free and freedom is a beautiful thing. It is what so many United States military have laid down their lives for and I would never want to cheapen that by someone who is afraid. I understand that some people might be afraid of things you don’t understand or know about so I suggest that you ask questions. You can ask me questions. If I don’t know the answers, I know where to find them. RAINS is a great resource and their board is made of kind and loving people that want to support us all with education and resources.

When it comes down to it. Shouldn’t we try to make it easier and not harder for our kids to get a good education, no matter what their gender identity is?

More Information

Amid “anti-trans” bills in other states, Legislature passes bill banning health insurance discrimination by Michael Goldberg for Support The Wire; April 20, 2021
The Rights of Transgender People In Washington State – Updates Pending (April/May 2022) by ACLU Washington published Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Safe Schools Coalition
Victory in Washington State! Anti-Trans Bill Defeated by National Center for Transgender Equality; Wednesday February 10, 2016
Washington State Human Rights Commission
Washington State Legislature Bill Information > SB 5313 As of Wednesday, April 27, 2022 07:11 PM

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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

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I Pray You’ll Be…by Hannah C. Hall

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The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf

Song of Creation by Paul Goble

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Julián is a Mermaid by Jessica Love

Butterflies by Seymour Simon

Separate Is Never Equal Sylvia Mendez and Her Family’s Fight for Desegregation by Duncan Tonatiuh

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What are people afraid of?

What is a lifestyle?

Transgender Issues…

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Examples of lifestyle habits are:

I came on strong with one debate:

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Gender Complimentary Argument

Cultural Norms

Procreation & Sex

Other Benefits of Marriage

What Paul Says

The Church Today

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About the People

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There are 5 Types of Pacifism:

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What does that mean:

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Today I Want to Talk More About Transsexual People

If your school is not supporting you or your student you have options please see:

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