Today has been a wonderful day. It started sad but eventually turned to glad. I had a very stressful dream that left me very sad. I couldn’t shake it. My brain wanted to dissociate, which is a normal trauma response for me, so it was hard to make different choices but I am committed to my wellness and I had to keep my appointment for my flu shot in case it knocked me down for a few days (sometimes that happens). I have several appointments on Tuesday…
My workout was emotionally hard. Not only did my body hurt but my heart and mind hurt and I had to choose to do every single rep and set of movements. When I was done I still was in pain and the sadness was trying to drag me to depression but I chose to do my devotional. I had a nice time in the word. I was reminded the God thinks of us with peace and with the purpose of giving us a future and hope. It helped a little.
I was chatting with Jamie Holloway and told her my struggle. She congratulated me on actively choosing to stay on task with movement and time with Jesus. That was nice to hear. She always says what I need to hear. I told her I was still blue but I hoped that when Karen got home she would cheer me up, like she always does. Jamie said she was glad I had Karen because she is the perfect spouse for me.
When Karen got home from work, I told her my struggle because when I am in that mood I sometimes say things wrong and I didn’t want her to take it personally. She appreciates the warning. As we headed towards our pharmacy it was so nice to listen and talk with her. She has been working so much. I think I missed her. When I see her she is usually getting ready to leave or heading to bed.
We have talked about changing pharmacies because it would be so convenient to have Karen be able to grab meds at the Safeway where she works but in reality, we love the service at the Walmart pharmacy on Ocean Beach. I am sure the Safeway pharmacy is great but we have a relationship with our pharmacy. As I waited for my flu shot the technician asked me if I was ready and I didn’t respond as positively as usual. She asked me why and I apologized and told her I was diagnosed with cancer a couple months ago and I am just sick of the process. I also had needed to look at my options for health insurance and I was surprised at how many companies don’t cover my meds. I told her we would have to stay with a more expensive plan because some coverage is better than no coverage and Fluvoxamine and cancer meds are expensive. She looked genuinely concerned, asked me about my treatment plan and said she would pray for me. It felt nice to have that connection.
After my shot, we walked around for about 45 minutes. That was good cardio. We ran into an old friend and then we started towards home where we had a late lunch and took a nap. It was great! Tonight we will watch a movie or two and relax. I love spending time with Karen. I just enjoy her so much!
Thank you for your prayers for Jamie. She is doing well after her surgery and should be able to go home on Monday.
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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