Unintentionally you shot me
with your legal use of force
My heart is full of bullet holes
from the war zone you accidentally created
where sneak attacks tore us apart
The palace you worked hard to provide was sparkly
Because you taught me to run directly into firestorms
for years I fought to defend it
But you didn’t know about the terrorists after my heart and mind
Your Fast Assessment Strike Tool didn’t work in my benefit
My humanity was set aside while you saved yourself
Something like PTSD sucks the life out of me when I see you
The armed conflict is still happening
even though the war crimes were committed years ago
I don’t hate you and I miss you
but I am holding the wrong ammunition for your battle plan
I don’t need judgement or criticism wrapped in a hug
I don’t need people who just want what I have
because I only have love to give
I am unable to engage in euphemisms
and your moral outrage is not my fight
I have made choices you can’t understand
because I have orders you can’t see
In the mire I live in right now light is a precious commodity
I am shaken by the wars outside of me
but the glimmer of hope I depend on will continue to lead me on
I can’t follow your objectives while my old wounds fester
I don’t know how to let them go so I must let them heal
and my treatments take too long for you
As much as I want to choose you
I have made myself my own secret mission
I will contact you when the casualties have been honored