I am so tired and I know God is carrying me. Most of the time my prayers are: God please help. Not only for myself but when I see what is going on in the world. I am not the only one that is overwhelmed. It is hard to think about the wars in the world and the children being killed or kidnapped and the families being hurt and people who are sick when you, yourself are so overwhelmed. But God is good and He knows our struggles. He is good at answering: God please help.
In November when Karen G Clemenson got sick, I was in shock. She doesn’t get sick. I am the sick one. But we ended up at the hospital twice and found out she had a baseball sized tumor behind her right ovary. She didn’t have health insurance. Her state insurance had just been canceled and she hadn’t had time to start the process of signing up through her work. The process to get all the coverage took much longer than the few days we were promised and 6 months later we are still working on the dental plan. But besides the $15,000 bill from the ER, she is covered for her medical and we area grateful.
My dental insurance only covers cleanings and diagnostics and I had a bad dentist that told me my impacted wisdom teeth were no big deal. My new dentist has said other things. Like one of my molars was dead and had to be removed and I have to have the impacted wisdom teeth out and I have another 2 teeth that need fillings, one specifically because of another impacted wisdom tooth. Karen’s dental insurance, if we could get it to settle, would cover these things but it has taken so long that my bad molar broke. So we went in to have it removed two weeks ago and gave them the insurance and are waiting to see if they will cover any of it. Of course my mouth is still healing and it is hard to get used to my new mouth.
Meanwhile Xavier got really sick and needed a lot of care and finally I knew this wasn’t just a flare and we took him to see Dr Katie, who confirmed that it was best to help him go to Jesus, which I wrote about in RIP Xavier. I never really had time to even mourn because the next day we had to prepare for Karen’s surgery.
Yesterday, we were so thankful that our friend,Jho, picked us up at 4 am to take us to PeaceHealth Southwest Washington for Karen’s robotic hysterectomy. I was so thankful when Dr Rushing called me to tell me that she did really well in the surgery and he was confident that her tumor was benign. He felt that she would be able to leave in 4 hours, once she had had another blood test. When you have a surgery like this you have to have another blood test 4 hours after the surgery to make sure you aren’t losing blood. Her test turned out well.
The other thing that can happen after this type of procedure is that you have trouble urinating. The trauma in that area can cause things to freeze up for some women and Karen is one of them. Karen did not get to go home 4 hour later. In fact she ended up staying all night and finally being sent home with a catheter. We are hoping her primary can remove it tomorrow so she doesn’t have to go back to Vancouver tomorrow.
As I am writing this I heard a soft voice of my wife, saying she misses our boy. I do too.
I am flaring up. My body does not handle stress well at all. Since I have an IUD as part of my cancer treatment, I don’t have periods but when I am totally on tilt, I spot. I have been spotting. I have sores in my mouth. My body hurts more than usual. My appetite is scarce. I feel defensive.
But I know that God hears: God please help.
One little blessing is this plant start. On the day that Xavier (pronounced like Javier) went to Jesus, one of Karen’s coworkers gave us a start to a praying hands plant. I had been thinking I should get a plant. I have named her Xavier (pronounced the traditional way) Elizabeth.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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