I went to a PFLAG meeting this week and the people at the meeting gave me some great resources to read. I got to a part in one of the pamphlets where they talk about coming out to your loved ones. I realized I never really came out to my extended family. I invited them to my wedding. I gave them 3 days notice. It was technically an elopement. They didn’t come. They blamed me for not giving them time to adjust to my announcement.
Karen G Clemenson insisted on it. I didn’t think they would come. I had never felt supported in my endeavors. They didn’t show interest in me as an individual. I was important when they needed something from me. Even now, I am positive I didn’t tell them because I had spent so much of my life trying to be what they wanted me to be, I didn’t know who I was. Being queer wasn’t something I could embrace for myself until a year after I was married, with the help of my therapist.
So many things that my extended family did wrong are mentioned in these booklets. I’m glad I have these resources. Daily I am learning more and more clearly that if you are not part of a group, you don’t get to define it.
I went to this meeting hungry for help finding information about transgender people. This special group of people usually has to fight every day for their right to live in peace. I didn’t realize that my questions, no matter how innocent my intentions were, they could trigger some very strong and negative feelings. At this meeting I was able to find people that were willing to answer some of my questions and give me a few sources to start. These resources have also given me leads to more information.
I know being a cisgender person, I will never really know the transgender or gender expansive experience, but learning more will help me empathize. If we end up fostering a transgender or gender expansive child, this will give me a little knowledge beforehand too; this is my main motivation.
This reading and what is happening at the hand of our current political administration has left me feeling so raw. Often my prayers are, “Please help.” I can hardly say more. Executive orders that erase all gender identities besides male and female must be terrifying for the estimated 1.4 million transgender people in the United States. But white cisgender male christian nationalists are used to getting away with this; they have violated and controlled black people, Natives, Asians, Latinos and any person of color, women and any religion that isn’t theirs. I am exhausted by this thought and how little I can do about it.
I have tried to disconnect because I can only handle so much stress and I want to focus on the research that I have chosen but it is impossible to avoid the daily actions of 47 and Musk…who we never voted on but somehow he seems to have a lot of influence. I guess if you can’t be voted in because you weren’t born in the United States you just need enough money to buy your way in.
I hate what money can do sometimes.
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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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