Whatever you want
Whatever you need
Anything you want done, baby
I’ll do it naturally
‘Cause I’m every woman (Every woman)
It’s all in me
It’s all in me
I have always loved Whitney Houston. I have belted out Great Love of All and Jesus Loves Me, in her style more times than I can count. Even the way I sing The Star Spangled Banner is inspired by her. When I was a teenager I would dance to I Wanna Dance with Somebody until my legs would give out. When I would play Barbies, I wore out two Whitney dolls and Whitney and Ken were always the Houstons and no one was allowed to play with those dolls but me.
I watched the movie Whitney the other day. In it I saw a wonderfully talented woman. But all she really wanted was to be a wife and mother. Yet, she was more wanted than her husband. And to be that talented and to be that successful, she could only do it with a cocaine habit and the unfaltering support of him. So his talent was set aside. Her desires were forgotten. She died young. So did their only daughter.
In a scene where Bobby Brown‘s best friend was murdered, he calls Whitney, who has just walked off stage to get a sip of a beverage. They hand her the phone and he tells her what has happened. She listens. She tells him she will handle everything. Then she pulls her shoulders back and goes back on stage.
I never lived at that height of success but I know what that feels like. I know what it feels like to be everything to everyone but yourself. I know what it feels like to be in high school and have 3 part time jobs, be the family chauffer, help pay the household bills, not just drop them off, but actually pay some of them. Before I had a driver’s license, I would go grocery shopping on my bicycle. I know what it is like to make clothes for myself and people in my house. I know what it is like to not go to school because a sibling is sick. Or not go to work because someone is sick that I didn’t give birth to.
When one sibling got a chronic illness we did a fundraiser walk as a family. When I got 13 of them. Nothing.
When all my siblings got married, one twice, and one to a person of the same gender, they got the wedding and the gifts. Me nothing.
I am not angry. I was hurt. But I am a strong woman. And I know what love is. I did everything I did because I know what love is.
Anything you want done, baby
I’ll do it naturally
I’m every woman
It’s all in me
I can read your thoughts right now
Everyone, from A to Z
Whoa, whoa, whoa
At some point. An exact point, actually, I knew I had to choose me. Cancer makes things really clear. The only person, besides Jesus, that actually chose me was Karen G Clemenson. I was always told that people loved me in their own way and I had learned that most people’s way left me without what I needed: to be seen and heard and respected. But Karen, she got me. Well, so did Jamie Holloway, but true heart sisters are a gift from God and she is the greatest!
I am not a magician. The rest of Whitney’s song is kind of mystical for me but it is fun to dance to. But I know the rest of Whitney’s story and I can’t go out like that. I have things to do. God made me to not fit in and to tell the truth. I am made to stand up and share things as I learn them because I am a leader; a profit. It’s not an easy job. I get tired easily and I have to watch who I give my energy to.
I was neither given, nor did I choose an easy life. But I have love and I have honor. I wish the same for you.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
~
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