This article is based on my opinion as well as information I gained through web series I took part in in July of 2020 called LGBTQ+ Cultural Competency Workshop. This workshop was sponsored by Lambert House, Healing Bridge, PFLAG, PFLAG SW WA, Connect BG and Wonderfully Made. You may want skip this article if you don’t like people who might be different from you.

I owe someone an apology.

God please help me write this the way my heart is feeling it because for some reason it seems so hard.

Years ago I met a person who was trying to tell me something about themself, but I could not hear them. I still thought the world was very black and white. I am not sure where I learned this but it was a reality for me. Black and white thinking is not very inclusive.

When we are thinking about whether or not you are practicing being inclusive we need to ask ourselves some questions: 

• What needs to be in place so that you are comfortable around someone?
• Do you like to be ignored?
• Do you enjoy when other’s people’s opinions are forced upon you because they can’t understand you?

These are universal questions. When you have the answer for yourself, the next step is to consider whether you are giving what you need to others in an open-handed way that allows them the freedom to express themselves. One thing, I think is universally true is that people like to be heard. They don’t like to be invited into someone’s space, and have no room to be themselves, be allowed to speak and be empathized with.

I know it the past I was not able to hear people who were trying to express that they had a burden and they wanted to share it with me. They were not asking me to hold it for them or take it from them, they just wanted to show it to me and know that they were safe with me to just sit in their honesty.

Do you know how I know this? As I have gotten older, I came to the realization that I had to know my identity; the one I was born with that maybe I didn’t know how to look at or foster in myself. This same identity that maybe no one else knew how to look at it or foster, or they just didn’t want to.

Read: A Letter to a Younger Me – AKA 16 Things I Know

What I have come to understand is that my identity is mine and it includes many aspects: dreams, beliefs & philosophies, sex, gender identity, gender expression, orientation are only a few and each one has their own importance. These aspects can only be identified by me and no one else, just as I can only listen and hear what others are saying to me and choose what I will do with it.

Many years ago, I had a conversation with someone about their gender identity. I can’t seem to shake it. I think about it often so I decided to sit with what I know. What I came up with is this: I didn’t let them tell me their truth without interrupting them and defining them in my black and white knowledge.

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I know there are people, who will say: Summer, you are a Christian. How can you not tell people the truth?

My answer is this: Jesus is the truth and the life. It is His job to define my identity and salvation. It is His job to change people. It is not my job to tell people their truth. It is my job to love people with Christ’s love. If He thinks they are wrong, He will show them in His amazing way. But who am I to define someone else?

Now, before someone says: Summer, what about people who are breaking the law? I am not talking about that, I am talking about someone’s identity. If someone else’s identity is hurting me, than I might really have a problem within myself, not them. I know I used to have issues with other people’s identity and, for me, it was because I didn’t know my own identity because I had never thought to consider it and what makes me who I am.

For the last 20 years or so, I have looked at myself as honestly as I can. I have questioned myself. I have questioned God about myself. I am sure I will keep doing this for the rest of my life, since the bible says that if I believe Jesus is the Son of God, than He abides in me (1 John 4:15), and I want to know Jesus, and that is a relationship that was created before the foundation of the world (Romans 8:29) and it will definitely not end any time soon.

What have a learned? I have learned that I am always changing. I am always thinking and learning. To be the same would mean that I was stagnant and I never want to be that. The only thing that never changes is Christ’s love in me…but what that means to me and how I react to it that just keeps getting deeper and deeper…

Be as well as you can be, my friends…

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Amen

The Lord is with you always.

Note: If you leave comments that are not open-minded questions or statements we can discuss in order to better understand each other, calmly and in a loving manner and you do not include your name and email address, to facilitate conversation, you will not see them posted on this blog. I welcome conversations and questions, but I will not be abused and I will not allow abusive language on my personal blog. If you read something you don’t like on my blog, please pray for me.

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