My writing has become fervent lately and pointedly political lately. More than ever it has had a point in mind and not just to be art or education. I pray every day that I hear God; that He be blessed by me and that I bless you. The target is not to be divisive against a political party but systems that are not healthy; that have never allowed for true equality or peace. Shalom doesn’t just mean quiet. Shalom, the word, Jesus would have used for peace is much greater than the word we throw around so easily.
People have accused me of hating our president; maybe they are confused by my post Dear President Trump. At one time that was sort of true, for a time. But as I looked inside myself, because I had to understand what was happening every time I heard his name and I lost control of my body, in an anxiety attack. I eventually realized I was afraid of him. There were layers that I had to look at. And as I dealt with myself and my scars from emotional abuse and neglect in my past, I was healing and on the day Trump was shot, I saw something in that video clip that brought clarity to my fear. He looked like my abusers. His defiance, even in a moment of terror; I knew that look. On that day, I was no longer afraid of him because I knew I was just like him, if I wanted to be. And I don’t.
Over the last 25 years or so, I have blatantly chosen to become softer, calmer, a better listener, more inclusive than I was taught to be. It has been difficult but Karen G Clemenson and Jamie Holloway are good coaches and Jesus is the best teacher.
When I thought I hated President Trump, it really bothered me. Just about as much as when I realized I hated another person in my life. I don’t want to hate anyone. If God lives in me, there can be no room for hate inside me. Why would I ask Him to live with that? But I am lucky because God desires to live in a relationship with me, in Spirit and truth, so I can and have been brutally honest with Him and while I did that He has helped me to set down a lot of painful things. He will do that every time I ask Him to. I do not hate President Trump. I do not like President Trump, but I do respect the fact that he too, is made in the image of God and God made Trump and God loves Trump and He will find glory for Himself in what Trump is doing, because that is what God does.
I have been considering the fact that people think that I hate Trump and then I saw a video of one of my favorite spiritual leaders, Reverend Joseph Yoo. Today he was reflecting on peacemakers.
“Shalom means wholeness, things being restored the way they were supposed to be. Justice where there was exploitation. Healing where there was harm. Provision where there was lack. Belonging where there was exclusion. Shalom is when human lives actually flourish. Because you can have no war and still have injustice everywhere.” Rev. Joseph Yoo
I was watching another person speak today, where they stated that they felt that Trump had been elected by people because people saw themselves in him. People that were offended by facts, accountability, and equality for all people liked Trump. People who thought that cruelty was strength and compassion was weakness and lying, cheating, and bullying people were something to brag about, they believed in this man.
I don’t know if I agree with this video completely, but it something to consider; to chew on. I read a lot of people’s comments on Facebook. I read more comments than I ever comment on, mainly because I am shocked at what people are willing to say to each other. It makes me wonder, if TJ Talks is correct about at least a few of my fellow United States citizens. So while I pray for President Trump, I pray for the people that voted for him and the people that make those comments that shock me. I ask that God find glory for Himself in what He is doing in their lives too.
I have written a lot of Letters to my Representatives lately. I think it is a better use of my time than protesting. I don’t have a body that can handle the winter weather or standing for hours. But God gave me the gift to write. But I also feel compelled to honor the people that have been killed by ICE. I am almost done writing a poem for each person that has been killed this year by ICE. It isn’t because I hate ICE. I don’t. I don’t like that they wear masks, are inconsistent with warrants and don’t check IDs. They have used many policies during this administration, against United States citizens that we have never seen before. What I am doing is honoring the lives that are lost because I believe that Every Person is Important.
I have thought about people who argue that many people died while in detention centers under President Obama. I vaguely remember this. It was a long time ago, but at that time we were trying to get a business or two off the ground. Also I was starting to get sick and trying to not worry about it. I was also unaware of many issues I had lived with always. I do remember that we did not hear about ICE agents randomly asking for proof of citizenship from anyone they saw, they didn’t go door to door and people didn’t feel the need to protest the government like they do now. I remember being angry about neglect and abuses in detention centers but I didn’t know what to do about it. I am older now and more comfortable and able to speak my mind, which is why I write to my representatives and encourage others to do so as well, now.
I felt safer with President Obama. I don’t feel safe with President Trump. But it is not their breath in my lungs; It is God’s and I understand this better now, than I ever have. By looking honestly at what is happening and considering and praying and trying to listen and be inclusive and even mourning the loss of lives I want to restore balance. Because that is Shalom.
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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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