Systems Made to Help People

My soul is often screaming
and right now I am not ok
As fast as I can break a contract
I find another that festers
I want to be free

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Free from promises
no one will keep
Even if they say so
Even if they love me
Even if I forgive them over and over

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This is bigger than politics
This is bigger than systems
that keep you and me trapped
in groups based on demographics
like skin color or nation of origin
disability, financial status, religion
sexuality or gender identity

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If I can’t be myself
without being found guilty
If there is no gentleness
or honesty or protection on all sides
no wonder I spend most of my time by myself

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I don’t see things in black and white
And some days my bruises color my response
I have wanted to be different but I can’t
because I am always on fire
even if it is just a few embers

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I’m losing interest in things one by one
Systems made to help people
don’t work for me
And I need a break
I’ve been pulling the fire alarm
but since you can’t see the flames
I hope I don’t take you out when I implode

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I must let go of everything that does not serve me
I have been trying for a long time
for as long as I can remember
Things are easy to hand over
its the memories that linger

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Which is why it is easier to love strangers
to not let people get too close
Why I can live in a chasm
but never let anyone have access
unless I am in control

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Truth has many sides that depend on what side you are on
Because the world is schizophrenic or at least bipolar
Every system is set up to fail someone
Limitations are not imagined
I can only give out of my abundance
unless I choose to let myself erupt
because I didn’t learn to release

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Because I am above ground
Federal and State inspections are not required
short of a catastrophic failure
much like the swamp that was supposed to be drained
which is why the president’s house is not transparent

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 When we can’t understand what is happening
around ourselves that we get angry
and we can’t see what we are really doing
That we stop making the right decisions
And we start or we continue letting fear get bigger than love

~