This has been the best holiday season in years. The Best Gift of the Season 2025 wasn’t an actual present you can open but one that you carry in your heart; hope. For years Karen G Clemenson and I have been separated from my family as I healed and learned how to choose myself. Karen’s family is many miles away, but mine is right here, throughout the state of Washington, mostly.
Karen still worked a lot of hours. We didn’t have a lot of time to enjoy holiday events, but we did have a place with more space to do to holiday traditions in. We had a person to share time with. We had a reason to make a fancy meal for someone. We had someone to laugh with. It was nice to not have to cut the turkey in half so I could cook it in the crockpot. Because I had a kitchen to prepare it in, I could find my favorite way to cook a turkey. I am not embarrassed that we live in a hotel. I am proud that my wife works hard to pay our rent and she is successful in keeping us here and she pays what many people pay for their mortgage. But a real kitchen is nice. Seeing my mother happy was the nice.
Although I didn’t need any gifts; I was super excited that Jamie got a gift from someone that she really needed and Karen got a new pair of shoes that she really needed and I am so satisfied with what I have that those needs being taken care of were enough for me. Any gifts for me were not necessary. But I love the earrings and new bible and the new blouses that were under the tree for me. The flashlight is awesome and it goes great in the glove compartment. Karen loves her new socks, long sleaved T-shirts, and books. Mom loved her new kitchen knife, diffuser and soap. Ginger loved the organic pumpkin. It was nice to see everyone so happy. It felt good to laugh and to hear laughter.
This year the gifts came in batches. When I was contacted by my youngest sister and God told me it was going to be ok to read her message and then to connect with her and our mom, it was a practice in trusting in God. I had been waiting for Him to tell I was ready, and He was waiting for me to be ready. There has been opportunity for every conversation we never had been able to have. The healing is profound. The one person that brought chaos is no longer there to keep us separate and we all like peace and so that is what we enjoy with each other. We are not perfect. We are human and we love each other. It isn’t that we all agree all the time, but its ok, that is not a reason to be separate. We want the best for each other and we pray for each other, and even those that we don’t have anymore.
In all of this change I have struggled a bit. I have wanted to strike out at people that still talk about me behind my back. It hurts. When I asked my friend to pray with me about steps I could take to protect myself. [I have prayed. I have written to them that I want nothing from them; I have discontinued our relationship. I don’t contact them. I know they are mentally ill. I know they don’t understand, they need help and they don’t believe in therapy. I have heard and thought these things many times, but it took my friend saying it, this one time, for me to finally get it.] My friend said: People that continue to attack, without provocation are mentally ill.
I can have compassion on this. When I mentioned this to my youngest sister, she asked me if I had asked the people that tell me about them, if they would stop. Honestly, I had thought about it, but I had not done it yet, because the main person has been hurt a lot by them and I felt sorry for their pain and I was letting them vent. But the next time it comes up, I will ask them to stop. But the big thing for me is to finally have it click, that I am going to have compassion on them for their mental illness. The same kind I needed when I was not ok, before my psychiatric RN and I found the right meds and amounts, and my therapist and I had figured out the right tools for me and my brain had healed as much as it has.
Mental wellness is a process and journey and it is ongoing. Compassion is part of the process.
So wherever you are, I hope that you got what you needed. My biggest and most wonderful gift was more hope. More love. And more mental wellness. I am satisfied with my life but it is nice to celebrate relationships. I am not done. This coming weekend we will celebrate Jesus with my sister, Jamie Holloway. Next week will not only be New Years, but my birthday.
We have so much to be thankful for.
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My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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