I am working on this book that asks me a lot of questions. It makes me think a lot. I can’t just say I am reading this book because I have to think so much. It isn’t anything like what I was expecting. I don’t want to talk about it too much because I will do a book review on it shortly. I should finish the book in a few days. But in the chapter I just finished it was likening our relationship with God as a marriage. Where there are things you just do to keep the relationship going. The relationship is not a summation of hilltop moments but a lot of work for a few special moments.
I read many types of things every day. Part of that is because I am curious about the world. But mainly it is to help my brain focus on now and not the past. It is how I help my OCD brain stay here and now. I tend to go through my email every day. Flipboard sends me emails they think I will be interested in. Sometimes my friends send me articles and YouTube videos they think I will enjoy. I also read my bible. I have a reading plan that my old church followed that they called SOAP that I follow. It has Old and New Testament passages for each day. I don’t follow for the particular day because I didn’t start on the right day and sometimes I let other things get in the way of my bible reading but when I do read my bible, I read in both the Old and New Testaments. I also have a daily devotional I do. Right now I am following one by Bob Goff. I always have a book or two I am working on, as well.
I started reading the bible when I was 6 years old. I just turned 48 on Sunday. I haven’t always been faithful to every day but I have always tried because I was told this is just something you do to know God; it is a good way to focus on Him and hear Him. As a young person I had read a few passages that told me that God was a mystery. I would never understand everything about Him. I clung to those scriptures because, there is a lot in the bible I just don’t understand. There is a lot in the world, I also don’t understand. But I know that God will never leave or forsake me and I am His beloved. Because I know that I can’t see everything the way God sees, I can’t hear what He hears and I don’t know everything He knows, but I know that He loves His children, I have to have faith that He is always working, I can find peace in Him when there is no other peace to be found.
Like in a marriage you don’t see everything that happens. I don’t watch Karen G Clemenson work but I see her come home tired, dirty and hungry. I see her paychecks. I hear the stories she tells me about what happens at work. She doesn’t watch me do the laundry, make her meals, or manage our household, but she thanks me that she has clean clothes to wear, food to eat and there is always an extra box of tissue in the closet or whatever item she needs after she just emptied something out. When those things aren’t there, it is usually because I am sick and we are doing take out and Karen’s laundry might not be so fresh and she might be bringing a few more things home from the store than usual until I get back in the saddle. We both have things we just do to take care of each other every day.
But God doesn’t get sick so when things like war breaks out, which is totally a human thing, we get confused.
What have I learned by reading the Old Testament? Mainly history and history is full of war. Do I understand it. No. I would much rather read the words in red. The new covenant that Jesus created is so much easier to aspire to. Its so easy that we mess it up all the time. But I think that without reading the Old Testament, we can’t really appreciate the real gift of our salvation that Jesus gave us in the New Testament.
But humans require war. Just like they require laws. Not humans that live in the Spirit; but humans that don’t live in the Spirit or don’t know how to do it yet. Because salvation is such an easy concept that it takes some of us a lifetime to really grasp how easy it is to accept the fullness of our salvation and the freedom of law and order. Because if you are loving the Lord God with all your heart, soul and mind and loving your neighbor as yourself, you don’t need any laws to tell you how to live in society. You will be mindful of everyone, compassionate, generous, forgiving, loving and in return they will be the same to you. But as you can tell by turning on the TV, there are many people that don’t understand that, so we need laws and first responders and military to keep people in line.
War makes us afraid. We should be. It has been a long time since we have had a war on our shores. Our government has done a great job making sure we fight wars in other countries. I was watching It’s A Wonderful Life and I realized that we are not as strong as we were during World War II. We, as a nation, rely too much on services and not on each other. We can’t do rubber, tin and paper drives. We don’t want to go without gasoline or any other comforts. We don’t tend to cook meals for each other. Some of us would starve to death without food delivery services. How do I know this? When I get sick, if anyone sends help, it is in the form of a gift certificate. I am not unappreciative but I would love an invitation to someone’s house sometime. I am guilty of this too, though. When you live in a hotel it is hard to cook for others. I don’t have extra dishes I can loan to people. We have one car and Karen has it work all the time. We are so separated.
People in the United States are demonstrating against Israel because Hamas, a terrorist group that has been in power in Palestine for years, uses human shields and so many Palestinian civilians have died in this war that Hamas started in October against Israel. Restaurants in the United States are being boycotted if they are owned by people of Jewish, Muslim, or Mediterranean descent; even though these owners are United States citizens and have no say over what Israel or Palestine are doing. Hezbollah, another terrorist group, that is in power in Lebanon, keeps firing into Israel. US Navy helicopters were forced to kill Houthi rebels, another terrorist group, from Yemen that was attacking our cargo ship in the Red Sea. The purpose of the cargo ship is to keep the water ways open for transport for several countries. All the terrorist groups I mentioned are funded by Iran. Iran is also funding Russia who is trying to overpower Ukraine.
If we were the country we should be we would be aligning with our allies to take down Iran. But we are all dependent on their oil.
So I keep reading the Old Testament. I read and I get ideas about not understanding but relying on God. Knowing that God loves ALL His children: his Jewish, Muslim and Christian children, maybe even the Buddhist and Hindu and every other type of religion children too and I know that He is moving. I know that terrorism is just another form of slavery and God is not for this. These terrorist groups keep the people divided, controlled and impoverished. They do not allow for free will or democracy. They foster fear which can, in many ways, be worse than death.
Its ok to not know or understand everything. Curiosity is what keeps us striving. It is what makes me keep reading the Old Testament, even though there is so much I might never understand. But I understand more than I used to. Most importantly, my faith in God is made stronger because when I know I can’t do it, I know He can, because when I am weak, He is strong. I also know that every life lost, is more important to God than to anyone else. I trust His purpose. That helps me rest in His peace. I know He has His people. There are things He just does and He just never leaves or forsakes His children.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
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