I want to confess to you that I am very human. That even though I am a Jesus Follower and I have been all of my life and I have seen Him do amazing things that I am still afraid. I wake up every day and thank Him for my blessings, because I am a blessed woman, and I pour my heart out because I am afraid, not just for myself but for people that don’t know the faith I do. I am also angry. So angry. More angry than I have been in many years because people that claim to be christians are so selfish and have voted in an antichrist as our president and prepared his way with bills in Congress so he can’t be impeached, and voted in his budget that will not pay down any of our debt but will increase it by hundreds of trillions every year, take money away from children, elderly, veterans and the sick, while giving more money to people that already have more than enough. Where is the mercy and grace in this? I ask God every day to help me not sin in my anger, but I know the thoughts I think, and they are not pure. I am sorry.
To feel so unimportant, to feel so erased, and to know so many feel this way, doesn’t make me want to pray for our president or our Congress, although, out of obedience, sometimes I do and sometimes it is even the kind of prayers God can honor, because I am always honest with God and He knows I am human and He knows where I fall short and where I let myself imagine letting all the people that are hurting others go in my mind, because I feel powerless, not because I condone violence or murder, but because I feel my pain and the pain of others and in moments of exhaustion, it seems the only way to make it stop. But I know I am wrong. I know violence only begets more violence and peace is what I really want. Yet this president doesn’t like peace, he thrives in chaos and in making people uncomfortable, so while he is in office, this is what we have.
I have accepted that all blame doesn’t belong on 47 or Musk. They have been empowered by Congress. And Congress has been empowered by republicans, regular people that do not want the same things I want. But I am still very angry. Hopefully God will be able to show me what to do with my anger because I don’t believe anger has to be bad. Jesus got angry. For many of the same reasons I am angry now.
I have a friend that tells me government is too big. It shouldn’t be in our religion, schools and such. I agree, government should stay out of religion, although I don’t mind if churches pay taxes. I also think schools need to be fully funded and offer meals to children and if that means that we need federal funding to do it, than so be it. Some families need more help than others and children should not suffer because their parents or their states can’t or won’t excel. I also think, as the bible says, we should mind our own business and get the hell out of each other’s doctor appointments and procedures. Adults should be able to have any medical procedure necessary for their medical and mental wellness and it should not be a political issue but a decision made between individuals and their medical team alone. What a waste of time and resources we have created by politicizing abortion or gender affirming care! But there are other government services that are being cut right now that are important: transportation, food inspection, national parks are just a few. Some government jobs make it easier to work with other countries, get to work, have safe food to eat, prevent disease through vaccinations and new treatments, go to parks to relieve stress and have fun, help people pay their bills because they are too sick or old to work, just for example.
Jesus said it would be hard for the rich to get the heaven. He said this because He expected us to share. He told us to share freely. He said to not store up things on earth, but in heaven. Many of these people that agree with what is happening want to say they are christians but they don’t want to share, even when what they have more than enough.
I read that even though the goal of DOGE is to find waste, that 47 and Musk were talking about giving the money they found to the people, but not to the people that need it, the people that make over $400,000 per year. This statement makes me angry, not because I won’t get any of that money, but because any money they find should go directly to pay down our national debt. This is also why I am angry about tax cuts for the wealthy. Fiscally we have no business cutting taxes when our national debt is the highest it has ever been. I would even not be so angry about the rape of Medicaid and SNAP programs if it was going to pay down our national debt, but it isn’t, it going to make up for the tax cuts for people that don’t need it.
Why aren’t people storming the White House? I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t understand why these decisions are terrible, not just nationally but globally? The decisions that are being made are going to make The United States of America weak in every aspect. Why aren’t people angry like me?
On top of all of my feelings, to be truthful, my fears and anger are not just about other people. My feelings and fears are about me. I feel like I did as a child. Always knowing that I would have a terrible thing to deal with every day, but not knowing what it would be, who it would be about and how much it would hurt. Never knowing which version of my parent would show up. Never having the tools I needed to handle the stress and emotional neglect and violence I had to shoulder in my abusive, while well-meaning family. I hate feeling like I can’t protect myself or my neighbor. I don’t like feeling like a child. I find myself always looking over my shoulder, checking my email for a news article and trying to deal with that constant pain in my stomach and heart because I know people are hurting because of the choices of politicians and people that I can do nothing about, except pray. And even though I know this is enough, it doesn’t feel like it, because you can pray for someone for your whole life and then realize that they get to choose to be who they are and they might never align with your prayers because they have the right to be who they want to be, no matter what you ask God for. I know this because I prayed for my family to love me all my life, to know the God I knew, for them to hear me and they can’t do it or wont do it.
Because we all get to choose who we are, even if they make laws that say otherwise. 47 can make all the executive orders he wants about gender but Queer and Trans people have always existed and they always will. You can’t erase us. You can make abortion illegal, but they will always happen, whether you like them or not. The more pressure you put on humanity, the more we fight back. You can accuse President Zelenskyy of not being grateful or not wearing the appropriate suit when he visits but he still didn’t start the war in his country, and we know that Russia did and if World War III begins, it might just be because 47 has raised tariffs to a ridiculous level against our biggest trading partners, while teasing them with adding them to the United States, antagonizing the world with buying them out and not supporting organizations that we have always supported, to keep the world in balance, until every country gets sick of 47 shooting off his mouth and they decide to shoot at us and then what will we do.
Yes I am very angry.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
1
20
20
20
Please wait...
