Cancer Update March 2025

by | Mar 8, 2025 | About Summer, Cancer

Tuesday I had an MRI. I have had lots of MRIs since my cancer diagnosis. I have had imaging at PeaceHealth St John, Longview Radiology, Legacy Salmon Creek, Legacy Mount Hood, Vancouver Clinic and now Good Samaritan Hospital in Portland and this one was the worst...

My Jesus Story

by | Jan 20, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I want to share my personal account with you about my God; the Father of Jesus. This is not something that I want to force you to read or make you feel anything negative about so if this is not your type of topic, I won’t be offended if you don’t read it, or you don’t...

Fighting My Body

by | Oct 28, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

I have been fighting my body for years. The chronic illness and pain is exhausting. The one step forward and 10 steps backwards can be so defeating. It has taken 10 years for me to create and get to a place of success with my anaerobic workout; which means I can do it...

It’s Time to Move

by | Oct 22, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions, Wellness

I bought into the WalkFit app. It’s on sale for $16 for the first month and $40 after that. You might wonder why I would do that when my wife, Karen G Clemenson, is one of the best personal trainers in Cowlitz County…well I am sensory person and there is just too much...

I Tried to Call My Father Daddy Once

by | Sep 19, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

I was a dad’s girl. I tried to call my father daddy once and we both gave each other a look. We both knew he wasn’t a daddy. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me. I knew he loved me. It was just that neither of us was overly cuddly. We were more logical. I was in grade...

Growing Pains

by | Aug 13, 2024 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions, Queer Community

I am watching SEAL Team. It’s a rerun; the one where Jason’s wife is killed by a drunk driver. But this episode is not about Alana, it is totally about Jason. I am amazed to watch Jason’s entire team stop everything to support him. He is their leader but he is in need...

Forgiveness is the Best Gift Ever

by | Jul 29, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

Rumination is probably my best unconscious sport. I bet if I went to the Olympics I could bring home a gold metal for ruminating. I don’t mean to. I have OCD and PTSD and Anxiety Disorder and between those three disorders sometimes I am stuck in the past, trying to...

The Apology

by | May 11, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

I have been angry for a few weeks. I knew somewhere I needed to make amends but I didn’t know where the apology was supposed to be headed until today. My sister, Jamie Holloway, sent me a link to the cover song version of “Voices Carry” sung by Kate...

In My Prayers You Will Stay

by | Apr 29, 2024 | About Summer, Poetry

I am not afraid of the Spirit within me I am not afraid of my emotions or memories that cause physical sensations deep in my muscles that remind me where I have been and how far I have come But I am afraid you will never see or hear who I really am ~ You offered me a...

I Know God is Carrying Me

by | Apr 25, 2024 | About Summer, Cancer, Opinions

I am so tired and I know God is carrying me. Most of the time my prayers are: God please help. Not only for myself but when I see what is going on in the world. I am not the only one that is overwhelmed. It is hard to think about the wars in the world and the children...

RIP Xavier

by | Apr 23, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

I knew Xavier was sick and would probably need to go to Jesus when we took him to see Dr Katie yesterday. I had known it was different this time. His IBS flares usually only lasted a week but no more. He never stopped eating longer than a day or two. I heard myself...

There Are Lots of Kinds of Pain

by | Feb 16, 2024 | About Summer, Opinions

There are lots of kinds of pain. At the beginning of my last therapy session I had told my therapist that I was having a pain day and he asked me how I handled that. I told him that I responded differently, based on the kind of pain it was. If it is arthritis pain, it...

That is What They Know

by | Feb 6, 2024 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions

I have a person from the past that emails me. I always respond but I don’t tell them too much. Just enough. I know they love me but our relationship has always been toxic. It isn’t their fault. They are a good person they just need some help and I can’t give it to...

The Monster Inside of Me

by | Jan 4, 2024 | About Summer, Poetry

The monster inside of me doesn’t care about what I think or feel or want to be I was born with this and I don’t think it cares how old I am It is part of my genealogy I see it in ancestors and a few who have come after me ~ I have tried to get rid of this thing that...

My Soldier & I

by | Dec 29, 2023 | About Summer, Art, Poetry, Queer Community

I didn’t move into her camp She moved into mine My soldier & I, together worked hard to make it ours ~ Doctors & therapists were helpful to give me a name for all the things that make me different I had been asking for help for so long ~ Medical professionals...

An Important Letter

by | Dec 27, 2023 | About Summer, Life, Opinions

I wrote a letter to my biological father and his 2nd wife this week. It took me about 3 days to get every thing written down that I had been holding against them for the last 40 years and answer any question or accusation they made against me in the letter they sent...

Grandparents Understand

by | Dec 27, 2023 | About Summer, Art, Poetry

Nana told me grandparents understand I had told her I was sad I had learned late it was my responsibility to make time for Grandma Clem ~ I was baking banana bread when she came to me My heart felt warm and I knew Grandma Clem was here ~ She told me she knew her son...

No More Letters

by | Dec 23, 2023 | About Summer, Art, Poetry

I have been the daughter of a fool For so long I wanted you to remember you loved me to choose me one time ~ Back when we built things together and grew things in the dirt and danced to Thriller and Three Dog Night Before you dishonored our home Before you left Before...