Saying Goodbye

by | Jun 27, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions

I had a friend that I considered more like family dump me over the weekend. it wasn’t the first time. They do this every 7 years or so, whenever I feel brave enough to ask for growth in our relationship. We have known each other for more years than we haven’t and gone through a lot together. I love them a lot.

I think that is why I tend to be the one that makes contact again after being dumped. I wait until I miss them and can’t stand it anymore. We stay casual and then fall into old habits. Eventually I feel like I am giving more and I say something and I get dumped.

The last time we reconnected, they actually contacted me on my birthday which made me cry because I was confused. I don’t remember what they did to disconnect from me that time, but I know it was painful because it took them a lot to get me to decide to give them another chance.

This has been the longest time we have stayed connected. Maybe it is because this time we are both married and live in different states, maybe it is because we are both being faithful to our mental health and we have healed a lot, but for whatever reason it has been nice.

Recently they came home for a visit and it was wonderful to see them! There was a peace in them I have never seen. I reveled in the healing they have found. I enjoyed the peace in myself too. Although we don’t agree on politics we could talk about other things and most conversations were fun and I thought everything was great. But then it wasn’t.

There was an issue that they brought up that I could not ignore. Not that I wanted to beat them up about it but I needed to be heard. I just needed them to know they hurt me. It was a short conversation. I told them how I felt. I told them how I wished they would have responded. Then I was done.

They got defensive.

I had hoped we could be grown ups. I mean we are almost 50 years old…

As the days went on. We had light conversations. Everything seemed fine but I knew they were going to dump me again. It probably showed in my last two blogs.

I have to remember what they said this time: I don’t want to know you.

Whether or not they meant to be abusive, which I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on because I know they have been through a lot in their life. I have to remember this because I have come to a place in my life where I no longer crave being rejected. Emotional neglect survivors at some level get used to this dynamic and create it in their lives and I don’t want to do this anymore.

I have prayed a lot for this person this weekend. I will continue to do so as they are on my heart, because that is what I do for people that are not in my life. Love doesn’t just die but relationships do. I will always love this person but I won’t let myself be rejected by them again.

So goodbye. I forgot to say that…

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Honesty is More Important than Opinions

by | Jun 24, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions

I was told by someone I have known most of my life that they don’t read my writing because our opinions are so far from each other that they feel if we had just met we wouldn’t choose to be friends now. I agree with them but that doesn’t stop me from loving them. That doesn’t stop me from mourning what I would hope for most, a relationship that was mature and equal.

I am in mourning. I had so hoped we could be honest with each other at some point in our relationship; or rather I could be honest with them. As it is a censor myself a lot, partially because we when talk they dump their life on me, I listen captivated, offer support, prayers, affirm their hard work and compliment their growth. When I have hurt their feelings, I apologize. I try to change my behavior. What I am surprised by is that with all their talking, they haven’t shared their “personal opinions” with me so I can know what I shouldn’t talk about when I do get a chance to talk. When it is my turn, I am interrupted by their busy life, their spouse and in-laws. Many times they just have to go and I sit there out of breath because I am exhausted.

I am writing this because I have been thinking about this for a long time. I want to be the same Summer all the time and it pains me that I have to censor myself with this person. I don’t get apologies or complements or affirmations from them. They don’t ask me why I think about things the way I do. I don’t believe that most of my opinions are the end all. I know I have a few trigger responses but most of my thoughts could at least be altered by a well-thought response. Not because I am wishy washy but because I understand there are truths that are truth for different people and my truth is not your truth.

Take for instance abortion. I am concerned that Roe v Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court. When I post messages in support of a woman’s right to choose it isn’t because I am for abortion, it is because I am supportive of a woman’s right to make decisions about her life. I am pro life and I believe that life doesn’t end at birth. God doesn’t create babies He doesn’t want. I believe this and I also know He knows the fate of all His children. He is with each of us at every stage of our life and He has grace for every moment. When people hear abortion they don’t always consider all of the reasons why a woman might consider an abortion. But God does. He knows and His grace is big enough for our humanity. He knows that some babies are dead before they are born. He knows that some women will die and maybe the baby too if that child is born. He knows the child that was conceived by a violent rape and the mother wants to die every time the child moves. He knows that if women don’t have safe options they will choose unsafe options and now we have two deaths. I am thankful that Washington state has laws that allow women to make human decisions because God gave us freedom of choice and He respects our choices. We don’t have to judge people for their choices. God will do that. He has that under control. Life is hard enough on this earth. Other states are not as thoughtful about humanity. That is my concern for those people. I pray that God creates ways for their humanity to be honored in their states too.

I am glad we live in a state that has strict background checks for guns. I have never owned a gun so I don’t understand the need for one, yet I respect people that do. I do believe that people that don’t register their guns should have consequences. I believe they should have some serious community service time if they are caught with an unlicensed gun, that has not been proven to be used in a violent crime. Three times and they should serve time. Why? Because if you are not careful with your weapon it could get in the wrong hands and then we have a problem. At least if you are forced to serve your community, you might learn understand caring for your community. However, if you can care for your guns so well and store them so safely that no one ever finds a reason to serve you with community service hours, you deserve to keep your guns and your free time. Why do I think licensing is important? Because it holds people accountable that may not be able to be responsible with a tool that requires much responsibility.

Why do I think we need to remove guns meant for war from households that can’t be responsible for them? Because people are dying for going to school and work and the grocery store by the hands of people that are not mentally able to handle the responsibility of these tools. I don’t think the general public needs to have access to these guns. If you want to have access to these guns I think you should be required join the military and receive the training and be willing to lay your life down for our country. If you are not that generous, you don’t deserve the right hold that kind of gun. I bet once you have been to war, you will think less of wanting one of those guns because you will better understand the actual weight of that gun. Those are the type of people I want to be able to bear those guns. But I believe the same way about guns of war as hand guns and hunting rifles. If you can care for them and secure them so well that they are never a problem and no one feels the need to take them from you, you should be able to keep them because you must be able to handle the massive responsibility of these tools.

I am just a person that wants to be better every day. I am a thinking person. My sister, Jamie Holloway, says I am a deep thinker, more deep than most. Maybe that is my problem. Most people don’t think as much as I do. I don’t care for superficial or silly. Comedies and cartoons are lost on me. I sometimes wish I could be lighthearted, but I am not wired that way which is why Karen has to find other friends to watch comedies with. Because I want to be better every day I appreciate when people say they don’t agree and why. I think they care enough about me to help me see another viewpoint, even if I can’t come to their side, I know it takes courage to tell someone you don’t agree with them.

But I also don’t like to be judged and I think I feel that I have been judged by this friend. Although Trump is a trigger topic for me, which I talk to God about a lot because I know I need to be healed. I am very confused about the Republican party, because many Republicans went against their own policies and beliefs to support Trump. I am not anti-republican and I am not a Democrat. I believe that in the pure sense of both parties, both have merit and both have room to grow. I wish The United States could support several political parties because I feel like we are not being honest enough with only two. In reality there are Republicans that are very far to the right and some that are more in the middle and Democrats that are very far to the left and some that are more in the middle. The ones that are farthest to the right or the left are scary to me because I don’t think they can hear anyone but themselves and then we have no communication. In reality, it is in my opinion that we could use 1-3 more parties to choose from but it seems like when we try to add those the voters don’t support new parties. Too bad; it would be nice if we could be more honest.

Honesty is where the freedom really lies. That is where I want to be. My friend was fine with whatever I wanted to do. They were fine with the way things were, but fine if I wanted to call it quits. I hate complacency but I also love this person and I know that in the past when I have dumped people, I miss them and I know I will come to a day that I will want to know how they are doing. Right now I am waiting. I really don’t know how to give them what they want. They said they were more happy with the “idea” of a friendship than an actual friendship. So I am waiting. I think they should know me well enough to know I wouldn’t know how to process that. Maybe they really don’t know me that well, but I am too old to just dump someone that I love. When it comes down to it, that is the part that feels the most honest to me. I love them so I give them room to be themselves. Even if they can’t do that for me, maybe I will just wait and see if they can make room for me later.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

There is So Much To Forgive

by | Jun 15, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I sometimes feel bombarded. The world has so much pain in it and there is so much to forgive. I recently got into a debate with an unwilling person on Facebook and I feel bad about that. I know they are dealing with a lot of past trauma. They are in the venting mode and lately my newsfeed is inundated with the negative memes and messages they feel they need to share with the world as they tell every bad thing that ever happened to them. I usually can overlook this because I understand they are on their own journey and this part of their path, but I am human too.

I chose to step out of my normal supportive mode and challenge them when they suggested that everyone needed to rush over to Hulu and watch a documentary about the evils of tourism. Something in me had to speak. I had to tell them that I don’t watch every documentary and read every negative thing in the world because I can’t feed the part of me that enjoys evil.

In my past I had many fractured parts of me, a coping mechanism that my brain used to handle the stress of my life and through prayer and therapy I have been able to be healed of most of those fractures, but I had a few that didn’t want to leave. I decided to name them so that I could regain control of myself. One of them, I named Gula, another word for gluttony, because she loves evil and she is never satisfied. Since I named her, she seems to be gone. I love that by telling God I didn’t want to be afraid of her, and giving her a name she lost her power.

I tried to share this with my friend, but I knew they weren’t ready to hear this. I wasn’t surprised when they became defensive and suggested that my resistance to know every evil in the world suggested that not enough people cared and that is why the world could not be saved. I told them that I am not ignorant of the evil in the world, I just meter it out in small amounts that I feel I can handle, and as God tells me. I also don’t believe the world can be saved…

That really got them…

I said it. I don’t believe the world can be saved. I have never read in the bible where the world was supposed to be saved. Jesus didn’t come to save the earth. He came to save the children of God. I told my friend that Jesus had conquered the world and told us to rejoice. I believe my job is to unlearn fear and to try to focus on loving myself and others.

They didn’t like what I had to say…I have noticed that they are missing from my newsfeed. I am wondering if they unfriended me. I really do love them. I just got tired. I hope some day they can forgive me.

I have to remind myself that forgiveness comes in waves and layers. I have been having nightmares lately about people in my past. I wake up in pain because I tense up in my sleep. I wake up and forgive the people in my dreams and myself….in layers and waves. I remind myself that I may have to forgive myself and others any number of times.

Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Before I fell asleep last night, Karen had the late night news on. We heard updates on the war in Ukraine. I cried as I watched people desperate to know where they would sleep that night. I cried as I saw the food rotting that was supposed to feed people in Africa and the news feed that estimated that over a million people might die around the world because that food would not be dispersed because of Russian blockades. Then we saw an update on the Buffalo shooting in May, where a white man shot 10 black people to protect the white race. This really made me feel sick, especially since I just finished reading Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin that day.

I prayed before I fell asleep and I woke up praying.

I thought about conversations I have had with another friend that likes Trump for president, again and I am so confused. I don’t understand people that say they are Christians that want him for president. It isn’t that he is a republican. Believe it or not I am an independent and I will vote for any candidate with intelligence, fairness and the ability to work with both parties that I think will be a strong leader. I believe that Trump is probably a genius. I also believe that at the very least he too is a trauma survivor and at the most he is mentally ill and addicted to drama and that makes him a poor leader. Although he is highly intelligent, he kept everyone on the edge of their seat every day of his presidency and it took its toll on me. I could never listen to him and when I did, his words were very antagonistic and sometimes plain foolishness. I am not saying that I probably missed some very intelligent speaking but I know the heart of a man is revealed in his speech and I don’t want a leader that I can’t respect leading me.

Proverbs 15:7

The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not upright.

~

Luke 6:45

As good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

~

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may  impart grace to the hearers.

I am still praying for Trump, It does me no good to wish hardship on this man that many still listen to. I am praying for myself and my friend too because I don’t like feeling as though I am judging them. I love them. I know they are super smart and a truly loving person. I also know I don’t have to agree with everything everyone says.

Forgiveness is very important and not just for the little things but the things that shake us to our core. We have to look at the things that make us pause and the things that make us feel punched in the chest and decide if we want to be angry or at peace. I want to be at peace. This means I need to be open to seeing other people’s perspective and showing compassion. This world might not be able to be saved, but I can change myself and maybe change situations around myself in the process in love and truth.

Be loved.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

I Don’t Hate Pride Month

by | Jun 8, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

You know when there are times when you say something in passing that leaves others thinking something you didn’t mean, but maybe there is a grain of truth in it too? That happened to me last week. But I would like to take a moment and clarify that I don’t hate Pride Month.

It was just a week ago and my sister, Jamie, sent me a message: Happy Pride Month!

I promptly responded with: Yes. We will be inundated for the month of June. Ugh!

I didn’t mean to be rude or dismissive but it just seems like Pride Months of the past have been times where flamboyant queer people flash their feathers with great gusto and conservative Christians get offended and everything is suddenly about equality and I feel a bit bombarded. But in my every day life I am happily married to my beautiful wife and we live our lives and in our reality being queer is just something we don’t worry about because we are 46 and 57-years-old and it hurts to get out of bed in the morning, its hard to remember if eating the entire egg is healthy or not and I am very glad Xavier woke Karen up because she forgot to plug her iPhone in and her alarm didn’t go off.

But you know what I have noticed that I love? I don’t feel bombarded this year because certain media outlets have gotten better at including trans people and same sex couples in commercials and TV shows (yes it could be better but I am not ungrateful) and people are safer to be proud more naturally and so Pride is what is should be, an every day thing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain parts of The United State where queer folks have it much harder than they do in other parts of The US. I also know that in Longview, Washington gay men have it harder than queer women and no one knows what to do with trans folks here. I know this. I am sorry. I also know that ignorance and prejudice live everywhere and I regret that too but we are growing and I want to take a moment and praise Jesus that humans are hating each other a little bit less and loving each other a little bit better every day, regardless of what the media wants to force feed us. By the way…the answer to all these situations is to treat every one with respect regardless of how they dress or who they love…

Hype comes in all colors and so I know a little bit about drama and trauma, those terrible rhyming words. As a white, disabled, fat, poor, mentally ill woman from a dysfunctional family I know about prejudice and privilege. But you know what? Walking behind people you learn that other people get it too. I have a friend that was more poor than me and more terribly abused than me growing up, and walking behind her has broken my heart at times. Until she became healed through prayer and therapy, people saw that on her and it seems like she drew abuse out of them. Walking behind my wife blows my mind. I am invisible when we walk up to another black person unless they read that we are married and then I am as black as they are…but when we were first married, we were at a park in Kirkland and the looks she got from a man, wow! He was not enjoying sharing air with my obviously mixed wife and he was Asian. I really don’t understand that, but Karen says that is normal. So it never shocked me when I got the evil eye from the old white guy when I was holding my wife’s hand under the table at a restaurant. Hate comes in all forms and I never asked him what he hated about me. I am not going to worry about it either. I forgave him.

When I growing up I don’t remember a lot of talk about queer folks but I do know that when I looked it up in the bible by myself, I understood it was an abomination. This was hard because I was having feelings about a lady that worked a diner I went to a lot. I didn’t understand those feelings and she enjoyed setting me up to see her with another woman, so I am pretty sure, she felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me uncomfortable so it was really easy for me to shut that part of myself off.

I had always found both sexes attractive so I thought I just saw beauty in all people. My nana had taught me to not waste my affections on people I wouldn’t marry and my pastor had taught me that if a person wasn’t my spouse, they were someone else’s and I should wait for marriage so all these things helped me justify why I didn’t think about people the way my friends did. They were horn-balls! Now I know that I am demi-sexual and so it is normal that I would not be sexually attracted to someone unless I was intimately connected with them emotionally…which explained the very short list…which my wife is very happy about. I am too.

I wish I had waited for marriage. Not for religious reasons but for emotional ones. It is just deeper and safer and better with someone you know wants to be there every day for the rest of your life. Maybe that isn’t important to some people, but it is to me.

I was married for 1 year before I came to terms with the fact that I was queer. I remember telling people that I didn’t feel gay. I just married my best friend. One year in and I had a good cry and talk with God and the main message I got when I asked Him if I should divorce my wife was, “No!” When I asked Him for scripture to back Him up and He said: Galatians 3:28

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I said some stupid things that first year. Things I wish I hadn’t said because now I understand I was ignorant and maybe even hurtful to people that hadn’t come out yet. But I have forgiven myself and if I get the chance to step back those statements, I will because I understand now, that I was scared and ignorant. The men in the bible were doing abominable things. They were raping and murdering people out of hatred and control. They were not in loving relationships or even consensual ones. That was the abomination.

Abusing people is never ok. NEVER OK. This is what we should hate. Not a month where we celebrate people that want to be accepted and seen.

I learned a new word today: Heterosexism. It is similar in power to Homophobia but I think it is bigger. The word Heterosexism first showed up in writings by Craig Rodwell, a gay rights activist, in 1971. Heterosexism is a belief that female-male sexuality and relationships are the only norm and that makes them superior. This attitude extends beyond the bedroom, but also in the workplace, medical facilities and every part of society. No wonder people are so offended by Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer.

But back to Homophobia, this term was coined by a straight psychologist, named George Weinberg, in late 1960’s. He was probably self-diagnosing himself, because this term describes someone who is afraid to be in the vicinity of someone who is queer, their culture and behaviors.

I am glad that my fear is going away regarding people. You know who scares me now? Not LBGTQIA+ people. Closed-minded people. People that think it is ok to hurt people for any reason at all. I have met some of their victims and it makes me want to more than pray, but that is what God said to do and I know He listens to my prayers.

If you are hurting and need support for issues related to coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm and more contact LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564

As for me, I am enjoying a quiet Pride Month but I am also enjoying posts from friends that are going all out. I am happy for them. However you are celebrating, I hope you enjoy yourself and know that I know you are valuable and beautiful and loved. Happy Pride!

~

Read More at:

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Being a Victim

by | Jun 2, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

I have a lot of labels I could wear. If you read my blog, you are aware of them. I have several chronic diagnoses that I deal with every day. But as I am healing from some of the damage from my past, I realize that I can stop being a victim. Victim? Who is hurting me? Well, in reality in every relationship where there is a victim, both the victim and the victimizer are the victim and the victimizer. That is a lot to swallow but hear me out.

Yes, I am an emotional neglect survivor. I have lived through some trauma both real and imagined, in my mentally ill mind, before I found the proper treatment. I come from people that know trauma. I think that is pretty common. But that is not who I have to stay. I can choose to be a woman that is healing and learning to be a positive thinker, a person that is forgiving as issues arise and a person that is trying to live in the moment instead of staying tied to the past or avoiding now by daydreaming about what could happen. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, to anyone, especially myself.

When I am a victim, I become defensive. This is a natural response. In my retaliation, I vindicate myself by hurting my victimizer, therefore I make them a victim and I take on their role as the victimizer. it sounds childish and it really is. I want to grow up. I don’t want to act like a child. I am 46 years old and I want to act like a caring, intelligent woman. Because that is what I am.

Caring, intelligent women, use their brains. They don’t have to tear people apart with manipulation and rejection, they can set healthy boundaries and say yes or no, depending on their own limits and they can choose how much time they give to loved ones that are not making choices to get well or to honor their boundaries.

When you choose to stop being a victim, you might entice some of your loved ones to make healthier choices to work toward their own wellness and that is something to celebrate, but you might not and that is hard. Being a grown up means we have to accept each for who we are and if I choose A and you choose B and B hurts me, I might have to limit my time with you or not have you be part of my life at all. That is not being a victim, that is setting proper boundaries for my mental and physical health.

As I began facing my trauma, I came to a point where I needed validation for my abuse. I wish I had left that between me and my therapist, God and the few friends that weren’t offended to hear my stories. Instead I chose to post things on Facebook and my blog. It felt good to write it out. Maybe I could have just written it and printed it and stuck it in a box to burn later but I posted it. At the time, I thought I was being careful to not name names but some people knew who I was talking about and they printed it and sent it to specific people and it just stirred up angst between me and others.I felt validated for a moment, even for several moments but now I wish I had kept it between me and God, my therapist and my few friends. It didn’t add anything to my life.

I am going to chase a rabbit really quick here…just a short jaunt…when I was 25 years old, I realized I was a 20 year old Christian but I felt like a toddler. So I told God I wanted Him to catch me up. God is always willing to do what we ask and the next 7 years were really intense. Basically I stopped going to church, ran every thought and action through Galatians 2:20 and told God to prove Himself.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Since I wasn’t going to a regular church, I ended up going to a small group that was basically saying that everything was finished on the cross and by the resurrection of Christ we were now a new creation. The renewing of the mind was this: that we had parts of ourself that had been forced to fracture off to handle the scary and traumatic parts of our life that were not saved and it was our job to bring them into the part of ourselves that knew Jesus, while also bringing around any other parts of our mind that didn’t realize we were a new creation. It fit well with my goal of seeing the world through Galatians 2:20 and I saw tremendous amounts of healing and restoration in my life. I was able to forgive a lot and God did prove Himself, although I have no proof to prove Him to you…but, I believe that is the way He likes it. God likes to chase down His kids.

Since that time, I have gone through many other experiences. While in this group I did deal with a terrible break up and after the group stopped meeting I kept my friendship with the people and would get together with some of them and we would talk about issues we were going through and I talked about feelings and fears of feelings I had for Karen. I believed being queer was bad because that is how it was taught to me and the leaders of the group agreed with me.

I lost those friends when I married Karen. They didn’t feel their ministries would be strong if they were connected to anyone living our lifestyle. They weren’t the only people I lost when I married Karen but I can understand why they made their choice and I respect it and in reality it is good to know who can’t stand behind you anymore.

So now that I have finished chasing that rabbit, I want to tell you what I learned while I was growing in that group and have been rekindling while I have been reading Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love and The Gift of Change. Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness comes in waves and layers. Forgiveness is probably never-ending. Forgiveness has everything to do with untying myself from people that I hurt, that hurt me, that want me, that don’t want me, and most importantly giving all authority to God who is the only one strong enough to handle all the mess we can make of each other.

What does that mean:

  • I might have to forgive someone for the same thing, any number of times.
  • I might need to forgive myself for the same thing, any number of times.
  • I can’t fix anyone, especially myself.
  • I don’t have to carry my pain, but I can if I want to and keep hurting, or I can hand it to God and He will take it as many times as I take it back from Him and then hand it back to Him.
  • I am a perfect creation made by God and that is how He sees me and if I choose to act like a fool, that is only on me but I can stop anytime I want….Hurting people who hurt me only makes me look like someone I am not, a fool.

So what do I know? I know that I have to take my medication or I get sick in the head or my body. I have to go to my doctor and therapy appointments to make sure that everything is working right and my wellness plan is still on the right path. I need daily time with God or I fall over and sometimes I need it more than others and since He said to pray without ceasing I can talk to Him while I cook dinner and He is ok with that. I want to unlearn fear and learn positive thinking so I need to read and watch positive things and limit media with violence and other things that don’t add anything to me. I need to apologize when I know I hurt someone and try to stop that behavior. I need to be loving toward Karen and Xavier because that is how we like to be treated in this house full of stubborn tank-heads.

…and most of all…Nothing can separate me from the love of God. He is with me and for me and He knows I am married to the love of my life and we are queer and that is something that makes me want to smile and I need to try to smile and laugh more because it feels good. Happy Pride Month!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Face the Illness so you can Enjoy the Healing

by | May 10, 2022 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Education, Fuel Your Wellness, Wellness

Note: The article was originally by Summer D Clemenson and posted on WellnessWorksNW.com

I am always amazed to hear of a person that is ashamed of their illness, especially mental illness. The stigma of chronic illness is almost as debilitating as the actual illness, in my opinion, but it doesn’t have to be. I am often told that I am amazingly transparent and for some people that is scary as hell and for others, that is refreshing. I come from people that are super private about medical histories and this is not good. We should not be afraid to talk about these things. In fact I would like to encourage you to face the illness so you can enjoy the healing. (more…)

How Do You Identify?

by | Apr 27, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Education, Life, Queer Community

I don’t talk a lot about my membership in the Queer Community because my realization that I am part of it is so new to me. I know some people cringe at the word queer but LGBTQIA+ is hard to say and even harder to remember and my wife, Karen G Clemenson, had an aneurysm many years ago and some things just don’t stick easily with her so I made the decision that we would use the word queer and if someone wants to know why we use it we can say we are too old to remember all the letters. But truly, even though we tend to be more conservative than most of our fellow queer folks, we were voting for same sex marriage long before we even knew we wanted to marry each other.

All the letters have a meaning though and they are all important:

  • L – Lesbian (women who are attracted to women sexually)
  • G – Gay (men who are attracted to men sexually)
  • B – Bisexual (a person that is attracted to both men and women sexually)
  • T – Transsexual (a person that experiences a gender identity that is different than the one assigned to them at birth; this has nothing to do with their sexual orientation)
  • Q – Queer (umbrella term for sexual or gender minorities)
  • I – Intersex (people who were born with several sex characteristics including chromosome patterns, gonads or genitals)
  • A – Asexual (a person with a low or absent interest in sexual desire towards others)
  • + – (Anyone else including Pansexual; a person that may be attracted to men, women or trans people, Polyamorous; multiple romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved…and anyone not listed…)

I am actual Demisexual which technically falls under the scope of Asexual. Basically demisexual people do not feel romantic interest until a strong emotional bond has been built. For me, gender doesn’t matter but I am never in a hurry to develop a sexual relationship and I would never consider a relationship beyond my marriage. I am not wired that way. My wife really likes that about me.

When it comes to gender I am a Cis-Female. That means I was identified as female at birth and I agree that I am a female. But I know people that were born one gender who identify as another gender. Like my friend Rae. Rae was born female but now is Non-Binary. Rae’s pronouns are now They/Them. One of Karen’s clients was born male but is now in the midst of transitioning to female. This client is a Trans-Female and her pronouns are She and Her.

Today I Want to Talk More About Transsexual People

Confusing, isn’t it? Don’t worry. Rae promises me it is much less hard for me to learn their new pronouns than it is for them to transition. I trust them that they would know better than I would. You see, I don’t have to understand. I just have to love them and treat them with respect. Even if I mess up and use the wrong pronouns, if I just apologize and treat them kindly, usually people are going to forgive me because I am not judging them or treating them poorly, I am not scared of them and I am looking them in the eye and trying to do my best to connect with them.

Did you know that Washington State has anti-discrimination laws that clearly prohibits unjust or prejudicial treatment based on gender expression or identity? These laws protect people in places that serve the public like public schools, restaurants, hotels, renting, buying and selling homes, employment (especially state, municipal and private workplaces with more than 8 employees), credit transactions and insurance transactions. These laws protect people from violence and threats, harassment, intimidation and bullying motivated by gender expression or actual and perceived gender identity.

Trans-Students have the right to join in and play in interscholastic athletics according to the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association, which states that students should be allowed to participate in physical education and athletic activities in a manner that is consistent with their gender identity. If school leadership is not supporting their students they are violating the Equal Protection Clause of the federal Constitution, where schools are responsible for protecting the rights of all students.

If your school is not supporting you or your student you have options please see:

As you may have guessed it, I was fueled by something to write this article. I have a friend named, Roger, who recently shared with me that he has a friend that is having to travel outside his school district because he is not being supported at his school and The Daily News won’t write anything about this story. I told Roger I would, but I got impatient. So I started doing a little research and found out that our state has been working hard to make it a safer place for Trans and Queer folks to live…

In February of 2016 Senate Bill 6443 was defeated in Washington State, making it illegal to harassing based on gender identity or sexual orientation, give LGBT employees fewer benefits or deny people access to restrooms consistent to their gender identity under the law.

In April of 2021 Senate Bill 5313 was passed banning health insurance discrimination. This law made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse covering gender confirming treatments to minors on the basis that they felt it was for cosmetic reasons. This is important because a study found that the trans population could be subject to minority stress and societal stigma which is the cause of mental health disorders without the proper support.

These are all great steps forward for all of us because if one person is made free, we are all made more free and freedom is a beautiful thing. It is what so many United States military have laid down their lives for and I would never want to cheapen that by someone who is afraid. I understand that some people might be afraid of things you don’t understand or know about so I suggest that you ask questions. You can ask me questions. If I don’t know the answers, I know where to find them. RAINS is a great resource and their board is made of kind and loving people that want to support us all with education and resources.

When it comes down to it. Shouldn’t we try to make it easier and not harder for our kids to get a good education, no matter what their gender identity is?

More Information

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

I Believe in Miracles

by | Apr 14, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Life

I had my post-op appointment on Tuesday and it went well. My Oncologist said that the cancer is still there but that it is still stage 1, class 1, which means that it is not growing but it is not gone. Even though I am taking the highest dose of Megestrol and I have a Molina IUD, which has the highest level of hormones, 6 months is a short time to expect my body to eradicate the cancer in my body. Even though I believe in miracles, she and I agree that the cancer being gone that fast, would be a miracle.

For some reason the scale at my oncologist office will not work when I am on it. They have assured me it can manage my weight. I tell the nurses it is probably my magnetic personality. I see doctors frequently so they always ask me when I weighed last and I tell them. This time it was at my surgery, about 3 weeks ago. The nurse looked it up and I haven’t lost or gained anything. I am holding firm, despite not exercising and not really watching what I eat more than my normal restrictions, however I do drink a gallon of water or unsweetened herb tea almost every day. My doctor gave me the look when I told her that I haven’t been exercising. The answer that I had had severe cramping and bleeding until a few days ago was a good answer until a few days ago and I know it. She reminded me that if the drugs and IUD don’t work I will require a full hysterectomy and that is a dangerous surgery at my size. I know this and getting any weight off or at least being stronger would help me in many ways. I know this too.

Change can be a Miracle

As many of you know I have worked hard to be committed to my workouts. These surgeries every 3 months have thrown a wrench in my commitment. However that doesn’t mean that I can’t keep drinking 4 liters of water or unsweetened herb tea every day, which I do faithfully, only missing very rarely and eating well and balanced.

I started exercising Wednesday. This morning was painful but I feel better after my second day of working out and I know that I will continue to feel better as I get stronger, eliminate the extra water and waste in my body and build muscle. Losing weight would be nice but I have learned with this body to be happy with being strong. If I lose weight that is a bonus. Although I would like to be smaller for many reasons: I don’t fit in many chairs, traveling is hard and if I fall, my wife can’t lift me, even though she lifts weights and is stronger than many women, and I know she worries about that…If I need a hysterectomy it will be very dangerous at this size. I do know that, but I can’t worry about that. There is risk in everything and I have made many wellness changes in my life and have committed to continue to do so and that is all I can do.

Each day I have chosen to move my body on purpose has been a miracle because there was a time in my life that I did not do this. I am thankful that I have been able to commit to myself to be as well as I can be, in spite of chronic pain and illness. This is a miracle in my mind. I thank God for His help all the time. I remember when He has coached me and He still does. He knows me best.

Struggle can be a Miracle

I have been struggling with my Neurologist since I began seeing him on January 27, 2022. I thought I misread him, that maybe once I got to know him better that I would be able to work with him but his ego never got smaller. At our first visit he put my other doctors down and told me that doctors that aren’t helping should be fired. He had already decided my diagnosis before he saw me and began treating me for migraines immediately. I agree I have migraines but I went to him for the pain in my face that makes it hard to speak sometimes. This pain makes it hard to drink, eat, floss and brush my teeth, even washing my face can be painful and when it is really flared up, it can wake me up at night. He told me at my first appointment that all I had to do was email him when my face began acting up and he would prescribe what I needed but when I emailed him, he didn’t read my messages. All I got was apologies from his medical assistants. I left him with 3 prescriptions, 2 for every day and 1 for big migraines which I take, but when I have asked questions about these, I have got no response. I have called. Karen has called. No one calls back. So I finally decided I wanted a referral to another neurologist and sent an email asking for one. Still no response. Even when both I and Karen called.

Since I was in the building on Tuesday, I decided to stop by there. I felt so bad for the young lady at the reception area. She looked petrified when she realized who I was. I was not angry but I was direct when I told her my goal was to change my appointment on the 22nd to be with a different neurologist before I left there that day. She seemed tongue tied and went to verify information with someone. She thought I would need to ask my primary for another referral for a neurologist. I had the email penned before she came back but I deleted it when she let me know there was one neurologist that could take my case, if she chose. She would be in the office later. She pointed to her card, but I chose to not take it. I didn’t want to appear to eager. Instead I looked at her with honest eyes and said: I just have this pain in my face that he said he would help me with and he is ignoring me. I just need help. Her stress softened. I think she understood, I wasn’t trying to be a pain.

I am still waiting to hear from them. They do not communicate anything like my oncologist’s office.

Communication is really important to me; vital. I was ignored a lot in my life and I won’t be ignored anymore. Especially when it comes to doctors who I have hired to help me be healthy. The struggle I have had with this neurologist is also a miracle because it has forced me to stand up for myself and yet be fair and direct and not violent. To me this is a miracle. In the way I was raised the only way to be heard was to freak out but that is not healthy for me or for the people that are not hearing me. I have communicated my needs and expectations. I have heard their response. I know that if they don’t choose to serve me that I will be contacting my primary about a referral outside of Legacy next week and I am ok with that. In my mind that is a miracle.

Loving Relationships are a Miracle

Especially with gas prices where they are at, we wanted to make sure to stop by and hug Jamie Holloway before we left Vancouver. It was good to see her and deliver some treats I bought for Nicholas, her fur-baby. Even though she is only breathing with one lung and she started steroids that day, she looks pretty good and Yelena, her caregiver was there. She is a great lady. It was a nice visit.

I love when I get to see Jamie because I know I am with someone that gets me. We don’t even have to speak but our hearts do. Especially at this time, I know we hold each other up. She has encouraged and taught me how to fight for my wellness and I know I encourage her too. I have learned to ask more questions than to offer her advice. No one knows how to live in a chronic body better than a chronic person and what works for Jamie’s body doesn’t necessarily work for my body. She and I have been learning to live as well as possible in our chronic bodies for 8+ years each (she longer than me) we are not newbies. That doesn’t mean we can’t learn more but we do know more than a healthy person. Healthy people are blessed in a way they can’t imagine.

The healthy people around us, know something that healthy people that don’t take care of chronic people would never know. You have different conversations with each other. Karen and I talk about my death more. We talk about pain more. I may not know how to get rid of mine, but I know how to help her with hers. I know she worries about if she dies first a lot more than she tells me. That too is part of a loving relationship.

Tuesday was a great day. Wednesday was a quiet day. To be honest Mahjong was most of what I accomplished. I have slept late today and I know a nap is in the future as well but I am glad to have got my workout done. I have some cleaning that needs to be attended to as well.

I hope your day is blessed!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Better Habits: Refrigerator Stone Ground Oats Recipe

by | Apr 7, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Community, Food, Life

Regardless of what your food philosophy is or what diet plan you follow or don’t, eating is important. Babies that don’t learn to latch on properly at birth are labeled failure to thrive and have a hard path in front of them and people with food issues do too. I was raised with several food issues and I have spent about 20 years trying to reteach myself better habits.

Breakfast is a hard one, especially because my wife, Karen, works swing shift and doesn’t come home until at least midnight sometimes and I like to eat dinner with her so we don’t often get to bed until 2 or 3 am. So my normal breakfast time is not the normal breakfast time but really breakfast is really just the idea of breaking a fast so it doesn’t matter what time it happens.

I also don’t wake up easily. I hate waking up. I am grumpy and in pain so making breakfast is not something I want to do. I tend to batch cook so we always have something ready to eat in the fridge. Karen is an action person and she is always coming and going so I often have hard boiled eggs, a frittata and maybe a soup or stew in the fridge. Sometimes we can’t get a hold of farm fresh eggs and my body can’t process store bought ones. I also can’t eat a lot of gluten, sugar and since I have been on megestrol for my cancer treatment, I can’t eat avocados, coffee, tea with caffeine and most recently spinach and wild rice…I was craving Cream of Wheat a few months ago but knew I couldn’t have that. When I did a search I found they had a gluten free option, Cream of Rice. I purchased it and found that I hated it when I made it with water but if I made it with almond milk, I loved it…but starting that day with that many carbs was causing me to crave carbs all day. That wasn’t working for me either.

I had some organic gluten free rolled oats but those just seemed so heavy and for some reason they didn’t stay with me. Did you know that if you purchase oats that don’t say gluten free that they might have gluten in them? I didn’t know that but I sure could feel it sometimes. I like cereal in the morning so I kept thinking. Then I remembered that I had bought stone ground oats and had loved them in the past. I knew they took a lot longer to cook than rolled oats so I started Googling. I found that they had protein, fiber, potassium, iron and calcium while the rice really only had carbs…and I could soak them overnight and get the same effect as cooking them. How exciting!

Summer’s Refrigerator Stone Ground Oats Recipe

  • 1 Glass Quart Sized Jar with the lid
  • 2 cups Organic Gluten Free Stone Ground Oats
  • 2 cups Raisins
  • Organic Ground Cinnamon
  • Sea Salt
  • Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk

I don’t really measure anything. I use the measurements on the side of the jar but I don’t get out any tools.

  1. Add half a jar of oats.
  2. I turn the cinnamon upside down in the jar and slap the bottom 30 times (or as much as you like).
  3. I guestimate about 1 tsp sea salt.
  4. I fill the rest of the jar with raisins.
  5. I close the jar really tight and shake it really good.
  6. Open the jar and fill it with Almond Milk (or whatever type of milk you like).
  7. Put the lid on really tight and give it a really good shake. Refrigerate overnight.

In the morning…or whenever you enjoy your oats…

In a bowl that holds at least 2 cups add 4 tsps of oats from the jar and then add as much milk as you like. Heat on high for 2 minutes in the microwave. Stir and enjoy.

You should have 5 adult servings. Adjust for smaller eaters.

These oats are super filling! They have a luscious texture so if you are used to butter in your oats, you won’t miss it. There is just enough salt to accent the sweetness of the oats, cinnamon and raisins that you won’t miss the sugar so you won’t need to add more than what is naturally occurring in the food. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Today was a great day!

Today has been a very productive day. I was really feeling down a couple weeks ago. I was starting to abuse myself because I felt like I had given up on everything I like to do, even writing and then I realized that although I hadn’t been updating my blog, I had taken to writing long Facebook posts and even dating them. For the last two weeks I have been going through all those posts from back in October when I got my cancer diagnosis and reading them. The ones that were good enough for the blog are now here…and that is most of them.

I learned a lot. I have gone through a lot. There is a reason I am exhausted. I shouldn’t let my mind tell me I am lazy or unmotivated. I am sick and I probably a little shell shocked. I am mourning losses and yet I am growing.

My phone phobia is getting worse. I can send small books via text or messenger but I can barely speak to people I love on the phone. It is very hard to talk to doctor offices. I am glad that most of the time, Karen makes those calls for me. I think that is why I feel like I failed so badly with my neurologist. I tried to communicate well with him but he was not able to reciprocate. I did not call on Monday like I said I would. I chickened out. But I did call today and I was put through to an answering machine where I explained my phone phobia and let them know that I would try really hard to answer the phone when they called back but even with all the worrying about that. They never did call back.

My primary called today. I could not make myself answer, at the time, but I did make myself call back. They were responding to my email about some tummy trouble I had for about a week. Luckily, when Karen called to reschedule my post-op appointment with my oncologist because of this uncontrollable issue, they put her directly through to the nurse who advised her that my meds were probably causing my issue and I realized that the the spinach and wild rice in the stew I had made were different than what I normally ate and when I stopped eating it, my problem went way…poor Karen has had a lot of that stew to eat on her own…So even though I was tongue-tied when I called I communicated to the person on the phone that I appreciated them calling to set up an appointment, but that the problem had subsided with the guidance of my oncology nurse, and was an issue caused due to a side effect of a medication I take for my cancer treatment, I was happy to keep my regularly scheduled checkup appointment scheduled for next month. She eventually caught up with me.

I am so much better in writing…

Yesterday was a blessing too! I was contacted by Heather at RAINS who was concerned because she had contacted Karen about a grant that was available for her. Heather let me know that both of us could apply and we should apply soon. What a blessing! So of course, I applied for both of us. We live in such a great community!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Medical Issues

by | Apr 2, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Life

My surgery went well last week. I will see my oncologist on Tuesday and I believe I will hear good news at my post-op appointment. But during this time I have been suffering with a bad specialist of another kind. I have sent numerous messages and Karen has called many times. From the very first time I met him, I have felt confused and that confusion has become bigger and turned into all out feelings of neglect. To have such success on one side of my medical issues and such failure on another has left me exhausted to the extreme.

I sought out the help of a neurologist to help me with the pain in my head that was making self-care and speaking difficult. There are times, I can barely speak and drinking water or chewing, flossing or brushing my teeth excruciating. I was told by my doctor that if these symptoms were to return I would only have to email and he would fill the prescription I need to help me get back into remission but he did not follow through with his word, regardless of my many attempts, even telling him the name of the medication that was previously prescribed by the ER doctor who helped me. He does not respond. The only response I ever get back is an apologetic medical assistant.

He asked me to journal my pain and what I do, which I did. This makes me depressed. I don’t like to focus on the same thing all the time, that leads to the same thing, that is not helpful. This is the same reason my primary does not have me check my blood sugar, because it makes me stressed out and makes it worse, and when I don’t check my blood sugar, my sugars are better controlled and at almost pre-diabetic range. I journaled anyway. I shared with him the information that although I took the meds the way he told me to and I drank a gallon of fluid a day, the pain was getting worse and the Trigeminal Neuralgia pain was coming back…and he wished me well on my surgery and thanked me for the update.

Meanwhile my beloved, sister, Jamie is getting ready for another procedure to see how much damage has been done to her lungs and if it can be repaired and I feel so helpless. I am so thankful for her other friends that can help her. I am so thankful and even jealous of her amazing team of doctors that communicate so well for her good. I want that.<

I deserve that so I have decided to fire my neurologist before my next appointment. Even though I haven’t been told my results from the MRI on my brain. Any doctor can tell me about that. Jamie suggested that I see this doctor face to face and tell him he failed but I just can’t afford to pay to see him again. We are still working on paperwork for assistance and I feel like I am drowning in doctor bills and I won’t pay to see this man again, who cares so little for me and so much for his ego.

I sent the following message to him tonight:

Dr *****,
I have thought about it and I need to make a change in our relationship. On our first consult you put down all my other doctors. You also lied: you told me sinus headaches are not real, but you gave me a magazine about migraines that said they were a type of headache. You also told me if I had any Trigeminal Neuralgia symptoms to email you and you would prescribe the medication I need. That also did not happen. You don’t even read my messages, while my other doctors do. It costs me 5% of my monthly income to see you. I need a bigger return from you to allow you to remain such a large part of my budget. I understand you probably have many clients with similar issues, if you took even a moment to say, “this is to be expected,” or something to let me know that I am on the right track, it would have helped me so much but as it is, you don’t encourage or educate me.

My friend suggested that I face you and tell you that you had failed me but I have decided that I don’t need to pay to see you again. Please refer me to one of your colleagues. Thank you….

I am going to find the doctors that want to help me be better. I plan to call and cancel my appointment on the 22nd on Monday and see about getting connected with another neurologist.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Until we stop choosing trauma, we can’t know peace.

by | Mar 22, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Life

My surgery is tomorrow. I have spent today doing laundry, drinking water, updating my blog with posts I wrote in October but didn’t post and trying not to think about my surgery tomorrow. The last time I went through this I didn’t know what to expect and it was kind of nice to just go with the flow. One good thing is that they are allowing Karen to wait with me in the prep area and she will be in the room directly after I come out of recovery. That will be nice. I am not a person who naps or relaxes so it will be nice to have her there to visit with me and make me laugh. They will probably appreciate me not trying to run away too…

But I am scared. Not just from the pain and bleeding following the surgery but the unrelated but even more painful nerve issues that arose in my face following surgery that seem to be arising before surgery now. One good thing, this time I have a neurologist and I have already contacted him via email and his assistant assured me that she has sent my message and details to him for evaluation. I don’t see him until the end of April but I am already seeing some scary changes since the 13th of March. I know that stress can make migraines worse and that is probably what this is, except for the Trigeminal Neuralgia pain that is making it hard to chew or floss my teeth.

When I was single I said I would never treat cancer. I would just let it take me. I had no reason to fight it. But now that I know what a healthy love is, that makes me want to be better not just for me but for Karen and our future and the children we are building our future for, I have to fight this. So as scared as I am. I am choosing to be brave and you know what? I know I am not here by myself. I feel a light holding me. The same one that has taught me, and saved me and protected me when there was no one there who could.

I have had Jeremiah 29:11 on my wall for weeks. It fell off a few days ago and I can’t find it but I have memorized the main idea of it? God said: I know the thoughts I think about you. They are of peace, not of evil. I want to give you a future and a hope.

If God wants to give me hope, He probably wants me to seek hope. I went deeper with my therapist yesterday about some family members who will never be satisfied with what they have. It makes me sad. All I ever wanted was time and relationship. I see money and things as tools to take care of people. I am glad they are comfortable and I pray they are satisfied someday. Hope is what I hope they find.

The world doesn’t offer much hope. We turn on the TV and there is violence, sex, drugs, anger. We are so desensitized to it, we don’t even realize we are drawn to it, even in all our good intentions. Our bodies and minds are frail and it is easy to become sick there too. Hope is the key. Hope is where we find abundance and joy, kindness, goodness and the very Spirit of God.

I hope the next time you think about watching a reality show that you think about how much production goes into that “Reality Show” so it will be compelling enough for you to want to watch it because trauma sells…and maybe choose hope. Find a show that teaches you something…or turn the boob tube off all together and read a book or play a game. Until we stop choosing trauma, we can’t know peace.

Be well.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Growing up

by | Mar 14, 2022 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Life

I hear a child having a meltdown in the hallway and I want to cry with her. Children should never have to live in a hotel. It is not fun living in a hotel. At all… As thankful as I am that we have survived here over 2 years, spending every penny we have to get by, and try to establish credit, and fix our credit, and wait on programs that promised to help us, and did but had barriers that stopped us from our goal of normalcy, of freedom, of doing more than surviving, but having space to move and create, and be able to invite people over…I guess that was the upside of this pandemic. We weren’t supposed to do invite people over so we learned how to Zoom…

I look forward to playing a board game with someone. Karen doesn’t have the attention span for that…I look forward to having a kitchen that isn’t also my desk or the bathroom counter. I look forward to having my yarn at my fingertips to make whatever… I want a patio or yard to grow tomatoes for Karen and strawberries for me. I would love a workspace that doubled as a guest room but I could work at a dining room table…I miss having a table! I miss my balance ball!!! I miss a couch to cuddle with My Love while we watch movies and eat popcorn I made not in the microwave….

I have an amazing blessed life. There are people that have so much less than I do and even people with so much more who are miserable. I know God has carried us and taught us much during our almost 8 years of marriage. I know we are getting closer. Today we got a number we have been waiting a few years for…this number should be a huge blessing and this time we are ready for it. We have grown so much that this time we know we won’t blow it. We have blown it a few times before. Bad habits and bad mental health can really take you bad places but we are prepared and have an action plan.

The big picture seems like it is coming into focus and for that I am thankful. You can’t even imagine!!!!!

I posted about flashbacks last week. Flashbacks aren’t just thoughts, they are all the feelings too. It’s almost like you are there again. On top of that, I had no time to deal with myself because I had to be in Vancouver for an MRI. We did stop at Jamie’s to give her her birthday present early which did help me feel more grounded.

The MRI was supposed to be an open one because I am claustrophobic but when I got there, I found we had missed their calls to reschedule so they squeezed me into a regular MRI, literally. It was terrifying.

They handed me a ball I could squeeze if I needed them to stop but the mindful part of me knew that would only mean they would have to start over so I focused as much as I could on my breathing in order to not hyperventilate. As I got better I was able to practice pursed lip breathing which is very helpful. I had my eyes closed because when I opened them my heart would race because I felt like I was in a coffin. After awhile I started seeing flower shapes. It may have been my imagination but maybe it was God helping me. They keep the room freezing, it is supposed to be helpful but when you have arthritis it is just painful. Halfway through, I hurt from head to toe.

When it was over I was so ready to leave! Karen brought me home and I went to bed. We agreed I had not advocated very well for myself in scheduling a mammogram for the next day so Karen called that morning and rescheduled for a few weeks after my next surgery…which is coming up soon.

I shared my flashbacks with my therapist. She agreed that we should talk in more detail about this family member and their actions and what I want to do with these memories. I talk with her again in a week and a half. I don’t have this family member in my life anymore. I know they have their own trauma experiences and issues. I am not angry anymore but I don’t trust them and I don’t feel safe around them, emotionally, so relationship is not an option, even though they have made it clear they don’t want a relationship. I need the memories to not have power anymore.

These memories are potentially fatal if I had not got away. I visualized that I had been brave enough to face them and realized 1 of 2 things would have happened: 1) they would have potentially killed me or 2) they would have broken. I didn’t let them catch me any of the times they threatened me and they calmed down and we went on with life. Our parents did not have the tools to change the situation. Because they didn’t catch me we don’t know what would’ve happened. If they would have been broken their behavior may have become worse in other ways; because they cannot kill me now the only part of me that can die is the part of me that is scared of them and I might as well work on a few other people I am scared of that I don’t have relationship with anymore, at this time, as well.

I have had a lot of fear in my life. I think I am ready to let some of it go because I am also very brave, in spite of my fears.

Like this surgery coming up… I didn’t know what to expect before. Ignorance was bliss. But I am no longer ignorant. I am a little scared. I don’t like pain. This winter has been hard and emotionally I feel raw and unprepared for much of anything.

I am being really honest here but I also know that my wife really loves me in a way that makes me feel heard and respected and there are people that pray for me that I don’t even know and God is good always and He has given me dreams to strive for and I will keep trying.

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

I Married My Best Friend

by | May 19, 2014 | About Summer, Queer Community

When I was a girl, I thought I would never marry. After watching my parents have an unhealthy marriage and an emotionally traumatizing divorce I wasn’t interested. Knowing that my great-grandmother, grandmother and mother, who also are first born daughters, were divorced, I thought it was something that you could pass down from generation to generation and in my heart I vowed I would never take the plunge.

It was easy to avoid it. I was raised to serve my family, my job and the god I was taught in church. I grew up to be a workaholic and a cynic. My God has always been at work in me, though.

Since I was 5 and He came to introduce Himself to me, when I was in back yard playing by myself, I had always known He was there. There were times that I knew that He was the parent that taught me the most because my parents were busy with work or my sisters. It was easy to leave me alone; I was strong, stubborn, responsible and always seemed to know what I was doing. But I was also afraid, too sensitive, too emotional and anxious and even though I think I told them I was having trouble, it was always God who would tell how to do things…if I wasn’t caught up in my emotions and unable to hear Him.

When I was 25 I said something different to God. I had failed with trying to work with doctors and counselors. Medications didn’t work to take away the things that tormented me. So finally I realized I was a twenty-year-old Christian that acted like a toddler. I started measuring my hangups, fears, emotions and expectations by my death in Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

I have to tell you this is the best drug I have ever tried! The best because it wasn’t a drug or a person with a degree that didn’t understand how complicated I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It was me and God going through the old filing cabinet and clearing out some of the junk to make room for greater realization of my salvation.

The sometimes mean, selfish, angry and suicidal woman was going away and she was being replaced with someone that listened, showed compassion, cared about people, wasn’t so greedy and wanted to live…

Then I met Karen.

It was October 8, 2003 and I had just been hired at Professional Communication Services; an answering service. During my orientation I walked into the call center and there was this wild-eyed, exuberant black woman with a pick stuck in her hair, who looked like she wanted to attack me…at least that is what I thought. After she was reprimanded by our boss, who didn’t want to lose me, she toned it down and we started becoming friends.

We have gone through a lot with each other. In 2006 I had the worst breakup of my life, which threw me back into some of my old coping skills, but I still graduated with my AA in Business Management because as I was about to throw in the towel, Karen had an aneurism. Great friends had enough sense to take her straight to Vancouver instead of bringing her to our less than the best hospital in Longview. The doctors there were able to bring her back to life. This is what fueled my continuation of the journey I had been trying to make for 13 years. Karen wanted me to have that degree more than I did and I thought if she had anther episode and couldn’t be brought back, I wanted to make sure she knew that I wanted her to be happy.

In 2008 I had landed what I thought would be my perfect job as a website designer at a company in Longview. I was happy about this because building websites is what I really loved to do. I got training on the job, which was important because Longview really has trouble keeping up with technology and even the college didn’t have what I needed for this profession. PCS had recently been sold to a corporation and I was miserable there; I had never been a number before and the management hated my opinions. Karen was with the company only a short time too before she was let go…they didn’t appreciate people with passion and ideas. The people that owned the marketing company I worked for also owned a small newspaper and they hired Karen on as a salesperson…she needed more freedom than they could give her so that didn’t last long either…

In 2010 Karen shared with me that her dad was dying. After all the years we had been friends, she really hadn’t told me much about herself. She was content with listening and being excited about my ideas and I was still a little too selfish to shut up and let her talk. She had never really talked a lot about her family, but she finally had a reason to go home. I notified our friends and we all chipped in to pay for her flight home to North Carolina. She changed during that visit home.

Karen finally told me her dream. My friend wanted to become a videographer.

What is a videographer? Someone that shoots people and events with a camera and then makes it into something spectacular. Karen had a partner in mind. They were already working together; but they didn’t have money to start up. I had been able to miser away some savings so I decided that I would invest and become a silent partner. My silence lasted for about 2 days.

Exclaim Media Video & Marketing was begun in October 2010.

The next month I heard that it was voted into law that it was illegal for people to camp in Longview. It tore me up inside because homeless people don’t disappear at night. With all the services available in Longview I also felt there was a lack of connection and relationship that was really hurting us. Living Ministries was founded in November 2010.

Both businesses, which we have always called our kids have grown into something we could never have imagined. That other partner went away. The original board of directors disbanded and we got new ones…but Karen and I were always side by side. When I would want to throw in the towel she would encourage me. I have watched people watch us. I can see in their eyes that we are force to be reckoned with when we are working together.

We have been asked for years if we were a couple and both of us would smile and tell them we were best friends and business partners. We wanted the same things out of life so it was easy to spend every day together. Plan a future together. We talked about what we would do if either of us met the man of our dreams; knowing he would have to be amazing because our hearts had been trampled to dust and really never came back. We were happy with being old maids together.

Karen comes to all family events with me. My nephew Casey asked if he could call her Auntie Karen years ago…and all the kids followed suit. She was adopted into my family as my friend and she embraced their craziness and passion with all the same gentle, caring ways she had used with a younger Summer and the Summer that is writing this blog.

Since we began our companies, Karen had technically been homeless more than once; I would have been homeless too if my mother had not allowed me to stay with her. We had started something on an impulse and as with every jump we make, we had learned to roll with the punches and most of the time we were broke.

She and I have been through so much together and each trial has brought us closer. We felt our greatest strength was that we always knew the other one would be there. Even our ministry with our community thrives on our love.

Karen probably thought she knew everything about me but there was one thing that I had never told anyone. Being someone that was always alone, who didn’t know how to trust, when it came to my health I just dealt quietly with things, knowing that God would sustain me until it was time to go to heaven. Every decision I made as co-owner and founder of two businesses and even in my friendship with Karen were based on the idea that I would be dead in a few years.

In the summer of 2004 I had found a spot on my ankle. It hurt. It seeped. It burned. I was afraid. Although God had told me several times through the years to go to the doctor I couldn’t. Every human that was supposed to help me, had failed me and I couldn’t admit to another person that I had failed. I felt that because my body couldn’t heal on its own I had become a failure. After a certain number of years my pride also stopped me because I didn’t want to admit to anyone how long I had known about this problem. I wore long skirts all the time so no one noticed the swelling. I had always been a little compulsive so it was easy for me to tell people that I needed to cover up. It had always hurt to be touched; this wasn’t a lie.

I had gone through so much healing with God on an emotional, mental and spiritual level that I knew that anything that wasn’t of him was going to be hard to get rid of…the stuff we have carried for our whole lives is hard to put down since we can’t imagine life without them. I had told God, here and no further regarding my body. If he wanted me healed, he would have to do it himself.

The last week of January 2014 I got the flu. The worst flu I have ever had. I was super sick for over 10 days. Somewhere in there I realized that something was really wrong with my leg because I had to remove my toe ring. The spot on my leg had always been on my ankle but it seemed to be traveling up my thigh and taking over my foot. I couldn’t hide it anymore and Karen, who had been coming to care for me every day noticed…and my mom noticed.

It was Wednesday January 29th when the problem was becoming too big to handle. On Saturday my mom was starting to freak out. On Sunday she insisted I was going to the hospital on Monday. I prayed to God as I realized that I was going to lose this fight. God told me to go to Legacy Salmon Creek on Wednesday February 5, 2014. This decision was unacceptable to my family who decided to call the police and have me removed against my will to the hospital because my mother thought I was suicidal.

I knew I wasn’t suicidal I just had a few things I needed to deal with with God before I took the scariest trip in my life. Luckily I never lost my head and the guy from Lower Columbia Mental Health and the police officer did not have enough proof that I was trying to kill myself and the paramedic that I allowed in my room was impressed with the broccoli and yogurt I had been trying to eat…suicidal people don’t eat food like that…they also don’t care how many liters of water they drank that day and cover every wall in their bedroom with mementos and pictures of their amazing life…so they all left and my best friend was the only person allowed in my room until I went to the hospital on Wednesday…of course the conversation of an LLC was now more than just an idea…

The next two days are a whirlwind in healing. I was praying constantly. I would have night terrors that led me to wake up making declarations of my freedom from this or that that had plagued me my whole life. When I wasn’t praying or crying I found myself telling Karen every secret I ever had. I couldn’t pull the wool over her eyes, now, if I wanted to.

On Wednesday I woke up and my leg was the worst it had ever been and it felt like it was on fire. I had stopped taking anything for a few days because I had heard the word Cellulitis in my head and had researched and found at that NSAIDS could make it worse. My leg was three times its normal size and looked like I had covered it is rich, dark, pizza sauce. I was sitting on the toilet and asking God why he had let me wait till Wednesday. I was so scared. I thought I would lose my leg.

He said, “You won’t pay extra for this. I had to heal some other things before you could go.”

So my best friend showed up and made me some broccoli and eggs for breakfast. I took some Ibuprofen and a shower and we got ready to leave. Before I could leave, I had to do something I had never done. I showed Karen my leg. She was the first person to see my naked leg in years. She didn’t even flinch, however a tear did dance in her eye.

She never left my side while I was in the hospital for 4 days. She held my hand through every painful moment. I had to threaten to stop eating just to get her to go to the cafeteria to get food for herself. When it was time to go home she told me that the doctor had said that patients usually are in the hospital for 10-15 days with a case of Cellulitis like mine, but I was there 4 days.

When we got home, Karen was there for me then too. My family had never come to the hospital. They called and spoke with Karen, while I was out of my mind on drugs to kill the infection and get my body to start fighting back. My family is not hands on with me. They did buy things I needed but were glad to let Karen take care of me.

The biggest thing that happened in the last few months is that I want to live. I have found someone I can trust and then we found some more people to be friends with. I love my new doctor.

In the past I had tried medications to help me deal with Anxiety Disorder but they always made me suicidal. After this big change in my life a bottle of lavender and my best friend’s hand was the best medication. I was healing in so many ways fast. We were walking and eating less and more healthily. We were starting to focus on getting back to work, while Karen was always cheering me on.

On April 26, 2014 my best friend and I were watching a movie after a long day. Somewhere during that movie I had grabbed her hand. Neither one of us had tried to let go for the entire movie. The next night was similar, except this time we had hugged each other and never let go. I was nervous because I didn’t know what this was and Karen was not able to answer my question. On April 28, 2014 we shared a kiss and my best friend asked me to marry her and I said yes. In two days I felt things fall into place that had always been wrong. We had talked about how a change in our relationship would affect lots of people: our families, our friends, our community, our ministry.

But it was the right thing to do. I know I was made for this path. I know that God is using this too for his kingdom.

On Friday May 9, 2014 I married my best friend. My family was not there. Most of our friends were not there. Just our friend Debra, who officiated, our friend Lynn and her daughter who were witnesses, our friend Amanda who was our photographer and this great couple, Dennis and Audi who own the Thyme Square Bistro in Cathlamet who we invited that day when we stopped for lunch after grabbing another load of my things from my mother’s house. It was private, unplanned and perfect for us.

We don’t know what will happen in the future but we will conquer it together and continue making as much JOY in life as we can. In the back of my mind I always thought if I married it should be to my best friend…I too was surprised that I would marry a female friend. I hate labels so straight, gay, heterosexual or homosexual are weird to me. But if people want me in that box and it helps them feel safe, or better I will be fine with it. My older step-sister said I would lose some people in my life, that I would be condemned by some, that I would be embraced by some. She was right. But as long as Karen is holding my hand, loving me out loud, I am ok with that too.

Please leave your comment below. Warning, it wont be visible until we have deemed it wont cause trauma to others.

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Julie Nelson | May 19, 2014

Congrats Summer and Karen! This is a very touching story. I am very happy for the both of you. You are amazing women and you deserve to be happy.

Susan Buck | May 19, 2014

I loved ur honest, heartfelt story! I know karen from my short time in toastmasters and know what a great person she is and am happy fir u both. I gave a speech once that had the message “let go and trust”…so I truly hope u do just that from hear on out!! Pooey with the nay sayers!!!

Sophia Cedotal | May 19, 2014

Karen & Summer,
I love reading your stories on how you met one another. It doesn’t matter what others think, it is all about how you two feel. If you love each other than I say that is all that matters. You two have done so much amazing work for the Cowlitz County area. May God Bless this next chapter in your lives!

Jon Randall | May 19, 2014

I am sooooo happy for you guys … It is awesome when two people find in another the part that makes them complete. You are an awesome team that will share a lifetime of happiness together! Congratulations!!!

Christie Ellis | May 19, 2014

That was a powerful an amazing story friend. I teared up twice and sniveled a wee bit at the end. Labels are for food and cleaners. Love knows no label or bounds. It simply is, whether people like it, support it or understand it. No one needs to besides the two of you. I am utterly enthralled with your joint journey. I truly hope for decades of more stories. You two can do anything together!

Brenda Brown | May 19, 2014

Congratulations again! That is one of the best stories that I have ever heard! You guys make a wonderful team. And when you add the Power of God and Love… nothing/noone can stand in the way. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness! People will talk, label, disown, etc… but that is on them. They are the ones that will have to be held accountable for their actions and judgements. Don’t let that get you down. As long as you are happy, continue to work for the Kingdom and live life with no regrets… who cares? You have to answer to noone.

Diana Davis | May 20, 2014

Love your story! I wish you both the best. Keep doing your wonderful work around town, and know that you are following the path you are meant to follow. Cheers!!

Just Married

by | May 14, 2014 | About Summer, Queer Community

The best things happen while you are making plans. On May 09, 2014 I married my best friend. Wait. Let me back up just a bit.

I met Summer D Clemenson on October 03, 2002. She had applied for a job at Professional Communication Services, where I had been working there for three years. After Summer was hired, I scared her with my exuberant personality and pick-in-the-hair hairdo! Later on my boss told me not to scare Summer away from us!

Well Summer learned to put up with my crazy hairdos and my bad jokes. After 11 years of friendship and lots of adventures: lots of personal life experiences as well as starting 2 businesses, we discovered on April 26, 2014 that we felt more for each other than just friendship. We prayed for guidance and a future that would be filled with love and understanding. I asked Summer if she would share her life with me and she said…..YES!  I was shocked!

As I stood beside this wonderful woman on May 09, 2014 there was no doubt in my mind and heart that we were doing the right thing. Before we took our vows we were whispering to each other in our own language while our friends were watching us. Our love continues to grow and there are so many things I want to say to her. I feel humbled and blessed. I have been awarded this most precious gift of all…. the gift of true complete love! Woot Woot!