Choose Your Frequency

Choose Your Frequency

by | May 9, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry

The sky is quiet but the earth is shaking
and people are not at peace
This is called
psychological frequency warfare
What you are broadcasting is creating your experience

~

Do you want to fight
Do you have to struggle
with the propaganda
being shouted from the screens
that are everywhere

~

This agitation is not cosmic
it is collective and chaos wants control
Outrage, disgust and picking sides
fuels them and lowers your frequency
because low frequency people are easy to steer

~

I’m telling you we have heard this before
ground yourself and drink your water
You are not here to escape earth but to stabilize it
Light doesn’t fight darkness by screaming at it
Body, Mind, Soul that’s the empath code

~

Choose your frequency not your side

~

Warm Blankets

Warm Blankets

by | May 8, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

When it gets too cold
my joints curse me
and talking becomes explosive
The nerves in my face might have
taken my ability to speak but I
can still use paper and ink
This warm blanket helps me sleep
in spite of my chronic illnesses
caused by childhood traumas

~

But if I allow it this blanket will
dull my senses
It will block out the voices of
those around me
Stop me from seeing the needs
of anyone but me
Let me think that my experiences
are more important that yours
even though you wear t-shirts that say
Oppressed Minority 🌈

~

You say Love is Love
but when I said we should love them too
You said I was selfish and cruel
You called me names and told me
my words were illegal
You said I wanted segregation
You told the owner on me
You suggested you might leave
so they turned on me because I am not a Xerox machine
I can’t feel the way you demand
I don’t hate you but I don’t hate them either
I also love myself and I didn’t say what you said

~

What I actually said was love
like trauma is universal
Everyone has experienced it
Maybe we could share some empathy
and work together
But what I feared is what I already knew
The people who are stuck at the far
left or the right don’t really
want change
They like their warm blankets

~

It would have meant so much
if anyone would have stood up for me while I was being attacked
and called names
when it was
in fact
you that was abusing me
You didn’t seem so fragile in that moment
But I have been the scapegoat before
and the golden child never does appear to be who they actually are
and the flying monkeys never know the role they play
They will do just about anything to keep the peace
Because that is what enablers do

~

I have been schooled on narcissists
and Honey I won’t play this game

~

All of History

All of History

by | May 5, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

Many White men is assholes cause they can be
They live up on they hill with the bright lights
cause they has all the money
and they stand on people like me

~

They take what they wants like its a gift
While women and children cry rape
and prisons are filled with some criminals
and people that should be free

~

They take their pictures grouped together
with they chests proud and puffed out
But the darkness shows in they eyes and policies
Sometimes they bring a women along to make you believe they lies

~

The reason a judge had to order desegregation
was sho nuf proof of evil
And hardly no fathers would send they babies
while they still wore scars of whippings and lynchings at the hands of the Invisible Empire

~

They women is working behind they backs to move forward without em
Or right there beside em because they also have felt
the whip and the rape and the holding down
They want what is promised not matter what they hafta give em

~

They tell us to hate each other
the blacks, the foreigners, the transgenders
They tell us they need tax breaks
but they make me pay’m even while they cut my hours

~

They love they’s hill when the flood comes
they gets to look down on us while the shit water drowns us
and proclaim the stock market is up
so everything is fine and we should keep our chins up

~

I may not be right educated
cause they stole the school tax dollars for their fancy party
But I ain’t too stupid to know what fleecing is
I have been watching this for all of history

~

Book Review: The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Book Review: The Color Purple by Alice Walker

by | May 5, 2026 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions, Queer Community

I have seen the 1985 interpretation of the historical fiction cinema version of  The Color Purple, originally written by Alice Walker, directed by Steven Spielberg, produced by Quincy Jones, and starring actors like Oprah Winfrey several times. It always makes me cry and laugh, and cry some more. I bought this classics book several months ago, not knowing when I would be brave enough to read it. Finally it landed in my hands and I have to say that this book could not have been translated as it is, in 1985 but they did what they could. I plan to watch the 2024 version of the movie tonight. I am excited that the same team of Jones, Spielberg and Winfrey worked together again and I know now we can accept the full story about black culture, feminism and even LBGTQIA+ ways at a time that is more open-minded.

“I’m getting tired of Harpo, she say. All he think about since us married is how to make me mind. He don’t want a wife, he want a dog.” said Sofia. “I don’t like to go to bed with him no more…Used to be where he touch me I just go all out my head…Now I feels tired all the time. No interest.”

 

Celie said: “But I say this just to be saying something. I don’t know nothing bout it. Mr. ____ clam on top of me, do his business, in ten minutes us both sleep. Only time I feel something stirring down there is when I think about Shug.”

 

Sofia say: “The worst is I don’t think he notice. He git up there and enjoy himself just the same. No matter what I’m thinking. No matter what I feel. It just him. Heartfeeling don’t even seem to enter into it. The fact he can do it like that make me want to kill him.”

In this world some things can make us feel trapped. Marriage can be one of them. If you don’t know what a good one is and you don’t know you can expect more, you are stuck. In the early 1900’s women, especially black women didn’t have many options, even in fiction. Celie was uneducated and unloved by the men in her life. But between her sister, Nettie, and then by Shug, Celie learned love.

Celie said: “What God do for me?…he give me a lynched daddy, a crazy mama, a lowdown dog of a step pa and a sister I probably wont ever see again. Any how, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgitful and low down.”

 

Shug said: “The think I believe, God is inside you and inside every body else. You come into the world with God. But only them that search for it inside find it. And sometimes it just manifests itself even if you not looking, of don’t know what you looking for. Trouble do it for must folks, I think. Sorrow, Lord. Feeling like shit…Everything want to be loved…Man corrupt everything. He on your box of grits, in your head, and all over the radio. He try to make you think he everywhere. Soon as you think he everywhere, you think he God. But he aint. Whenever you trying to pray, and man plop himself on the other end of it, tell him to get lost.”

It’s funny how, everyone judged Shug but she was the one that knew the most about love. You need to read this Pulitzer Prize winning book.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Color Purple by Alice Walker on Amazon.

The Color PurpleThe Color Purple by Alice Walker
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Color Purple by Alice Walker is a story of a black woman in the early 1900’s learning what can’t be taught in school. That she is loved. That she can make choices. That being honest has virtue. In fact written words can give us hope to create our future. Celie learns with the help of a few good friends that that which was taken from her, will return, if she is faithful. This story is so important for sisters, for women for people.

View all my reviews

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

While They Posture

While They Posture

by | May 4, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics

There’s a clown running around
showcasing a monument
we have held dear since the beginning
He has all but lit it on fire
but even that would be to no avail
The ringmasters have failed to to a thing

~

As he juggles the elephants and acrobats
the ringleaders clutch their pearls
make excuses or cry
Not any of them have removed him from the stage
Although they whine about it
with the trapeze artists while they posture

~

The tent pegs are a relic
written in 1778 with a quill
he has filled his pillow with
But sleeping in bedrooms is not
where this clown or our government
ever got its thrills met

~

Sweat equity of all kinds
especially from people of color or the female kind
are the ones we rape, pillage
and take advantage of
And then we blame them for their need of protection
Because the clown is really a symptom and not the problem

~

Sumatriptan 

Sumatriptan 

by | May 3, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics

If my eyeballs melted out of head
or I vomited this pain inside
The effects would probably last longer than
the migraine that was not invited
Thank God for sumatriptan 

~

If I continue to rub my head
back and forth against my pillow
I might go bald
But what the fuck
I can’t see behind me anyway

~

My teeth are on fire
I had plans for tomorrow
but now I just want
my ears to stop ringing
and send the communication department on furlough

~

And then I woke up
to the burning smell
Much like racism 
you wont believe that it is still burning 
because your fascia is fine

~

Classism which allows everyone at the top
to do whatever they want
and makes fibromyalgia seem like a president
that could care less about a
constitution written in 1778

~

How good is a document if nobody is honoring it?
It’s like a prescription that the pharmacy can’t fill
If the office never received the fax
Because my prescription is expired
Or my doctor is on leave

~

There comes a time
say after 250 years
That it is time to reestablish
the needs and expectations of We The People
We need a new prescription

~

You won’t hear me because you can’t
Your ears have been filled by Lewis Powell 
and every white man who worshipped his memo
The crises The United States is in now
was dictated by a document created 1971 in the summer

~

Your mama was owned on paper
your ancestors too and maybe some of mine
And now you
We don’t call it slavery anymore but it’s a class war 
Though at its finest its actually oligarchy  

~

Thoughts are wonderful its where dreams begin
but CEOs and shareholders get all the bonuses
while heads of households get their hours cut
and on paper I could pay off my credit card every month
under the last administration

~

Now I live in a pressure suit
My fascia is deteriorating
When I try to speak truth to lies
The nerves in my face erupt when you argue with me
Tripping over paper is enlightening

~

Skin Deep

Skin Deep

by | May 3, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

She stands on top of Black ancestors shoulders
taught to read by White women
creating change the only way they knew how
The ones who came before her
paved the way
so as a Black Lesbian
she can hold my White hand

~

Mama was a slave before she was freed
by legislation that can never be complete
Because the hearts of men
humanity can never be decreed
Mama taught her to hate no one
because being mulatto means
the founding fathers are skin deep

~

The United States has celebrated 250 years
and she is very proud
Army is written not only on her chest
Are we perfect or is the fight over?
Hell no!
But the fact that we are here
Is a gratitude that she needs to speak

~

We don’t agree on politics
because I want to protect her
I see how hard she tries and I hate
how many taxes she pays
But I love her
and we love each other
and we love The United States

~

She’s a republican and a moderate
I have been a republican
a democrat, an independent, and disenfranchised
My gentle soldier solutes her flag
and I pray for us
Both kinds of allegiance speak of heritage

~

What is legacy but traditions and values
passed forth from those who came first
But when will we stop being victims
of the imbalance of power in relationships
meant to sustain the system
When will we stop honoring and treat the traumas
So we will actually all know the same freedoms

~

Favorite customs have been celebrated
but too many secrets have not been told
She loves what she knows
I want the light to be let in
I want the oligarchs to pay
the same percentage she owes
Instead of us closing our eyes at their rape and their uneven scales
now that would make America great

~

Because We Are the Same

Because We Are the Same

by | May 2, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Maybe it’s the flower moon
Maybe it’s your birthday coming up
But I seem to be pulling weeds
And letting things go
Tears fall for all reasons
Some for you because
You have been with me in all seasons

~

Of all my sisters
You were truly God-given
I found you in math class
Mr. Smith had trouble
keeping our attention
But our hearts knew the final answer
We were safe together

~

We have been through hell together
of all kinds
We have proven it is not a final destination
but a place right here
when people choose not to love
Even when I had to grow without you
I found you on the other side

~

Out of all the people in the world
you have earned the name Sister
You and my wife have won my trust
You’re the only one that checks on
both of us
My chosen family is small
but mighty indeed

~

You are the one who taught me to be brave
You are the one who has given
as much as you take
No one in my lineage
can compare to you
And for that Jamie
it is your heart that makes you great

~

Jesus taught me to love
You showed me what it looks like
even when it is all you have
That sometimes it is brutal honesty
when I have no idea what to say
Sometimes it is radical acceptance
of all of what makes me, me

~

You gave me freedom to use the wings
I didn’t know I had
I have seen the humanity in you
It is feral sometimes
because when you have looked at death
You know how to fight
I know how to love you

~

Because we are the same

~

Let Me Go

Let Me Go

by | May 1, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Queer Community

You were supposed to love me
and you failed
I told you and you didn’t care
If you have been thinking
I am coming back
I am not

~

Let me go

~

You had many chances
I gave you so many
more than I allotted to everyone else
I didn’t even blame you
when it was your fault
For years I let you slide

~

Let me go

~

It doesn’t matter if I love you
If you love me
it’s not enough
Your love is not enough
It costs me what money can’t buy
How do you weigh equity on peace

~

Let me go

~

I’m not coming back
You made your choice
and I am not it
I have my own wife now
I understand
and I can’t abide what you did to your first

~

Let me go

~

That bitch of yours wants to judge me
it doesn’t matter which one
I am referring to
They are cut from the same cloth
They both have daggers
They both have destroyed their own

~

Let me go

~

You have made quite the mess
Your selfishness has paid you in kind
I used to think you were Superman
But I know you are like a lot of men
That small head of yours
is braver than you are

~

Let me go

~

I am writing this for every woman
who has been betrayed
by the man who was
supposed to love her first
I am your first born
But you left me first

~

Let me go

~

The fact that I still feel your household
reaching out to me
My spirit feels tired of the pull
How long will you allow them to hate me
The letter I wrote said I want nothing
They can literally have everything but me

~

Let me go

~

Because You Said So

Because You Said So

by | Apr 30, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I am Yours
No matter how many rings
I put on my ears and nose
fingers and toes
I am just a human You chose to love

~

Whether I wear silver or gold
purple or nothing
You are the reason I breathe
Regardless of my stature among men
or how many dollars I can sweep together
You are what defines me

~

It doesn’t matter if
I am good or bad
You decided I am Yours
Even if I never comprehend my holiness
My newness in You
It is still mine
Because You said so

~

The One in the Mirror

The One in the Mirror

by | Apr 28, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

Have you ever looked at your reflection and thought
This is not me
or wow I have been through something
Have you watched yourself change
and not known what to do
Have you rejoiced in your return
Have you seen yourself in a gallery
and recognized all the different parts of you
Have you rebuked the evil
Repented
and invoked the reverent power inside of you at will
Said hello to the part of you that is always soft but strong
You have the power of life and death in your tongue
Have you seen it
The only person you have the right to command
is yourself
But do you revere the one in the mirror
or do you write laws for others
I know you think we should all abide by the same rules
but it just isn’t that easy
My mind lies to me
and I have to live with it
If your mind tells you
you are a girl
when you have the parts of a boy
Whatever you have to do find peace
sounds like survival to me
But you might need to respect
the survivors around you too
We all have our own scars
I can’t carry yours
That’s why they are yours

~

The President Who Cried Wolf

The President Who Cried Wolf

by | Apr 27, 2026 | Chronic Illness, Opinions, Politics

I wake up every day and try to avoid reading or hearing about whatever our president obsessed about the night before and spewed on his social media site. I don’t follow him, but without fail, someone will make sure to splatter screen captures on Facebook or on the nightly news. I can never get away from him. Donald J. Trump has been the lead topic in my prayers, therapy sessions, and bitch fests since 2016, when he began campaigning for his first run as president. In my mind, he is the president who cried wolf. I didn’t believe this latest shooting was real until I saw Margaret Brennan and Weijia Jiang discussing the shooting at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, April 26, 2026, where they were, less than 24 hours previously, on Face the Nation.

It is not that I don’t care about the president. I do pray for him and not just because the bible instructs me to, but because I believe that greatness is a team effort. If the president fails, we all fail.

“A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.” John F. Kennedy

 

“Within our people is the strength, the vision, and the faith that will return prosperity to America.” Ronald Reagan

 

“American is a great force for freedom and prosperity. Yet our greatness is not measured in power or luxuries, but by who we are and how we treat one another.” George W. Bush

 

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” Barack Obama

 

“In America, the impossible is what we do best.” Donald Trump

Donald Trump was not the only target of the shooter who traveled from California to Washington, DC, with plans to take out members of the Trump Administration. This third attempt of assassination is real. I feel sorry for the families and loved ones of everyone there. Melania looked terrified when she heard the shots. It is hard to process evil. But I also know our president loves the attention. Hopefully this will help him make good decisions about the war in Iran.

Trump is not the only president that has seen political violence. On May 23, 2023 someone tried to drive a truck into the White House, in order to kill Joe Biden, Barack Obama had 11 plots or attempts against his life. George W. Bush had 2 attempts on his life. Bill Clinton had 4 attempts on his life. In April 1993, 17 men tried to kill George HW Bush. Ronald Reagan was shot, but not killed on March 30, 1981. A man was caught minutes before he could shoot Jimmy Carter on May 5, 1979. Gerald Ford had two attempts on his life…and that is every president in my lifetime.

We should all pray for or send good energy for our nation’s leaders. It is a hard job; one I would never want.

But I am really done with this president. I need to separate myself from this narcissist. He has led us, as a nation, to places I am not proud of. I care, but I need to not hear anymore crisis coming from the White House. I need to not hear about created chaos. So if I am not broke up, it’s because this president has caused my anxiety levels to rise to tiers that scare me and I just have to disconnect. There are things that I have read and pictures I have seen that I can’t relate to without confusion.

God is not in confusion.

Albert Einstein once said, “Synchronicities are God’s way of remaining anonymous.” 

At the same time that the White House Correspondents’ Dinner was happening, 20 minutes away, Epstein Survivors were having dinner to commemorate the death of Virginia Giuffre; it was one year since she had committed suicide. And now, the energy, the chatter is alive in Washington, DC with the talk of the black male teacher from California. It doesn’t matter what political party you connect with; The Epstein Files are still not completely released.

We are excited but we wont make any changes to even make public schools safer from mass shootings. I am not against legal gun ownership. I support the second amendment, however, at some point, you must realize that there is something wrong with doing the same thing, while seeing more and more gun violence. There is nothing wrong with honestly looking at yourself and saying: What needs to change?

Change is hard. I know this. For my whole life I have had to change for others. In 2014, I was forced to start changing for me. I had never learned how to take care of myself. In the last 12 years, I have changed so much about myself. Nearly every aspect of my life has been touched by necessary change. I didn’t do it all at once but as I changed one thing, and then another, it got easier. It used to scare me, but now I am more curious about change. I know I don’t have to keep it if it doesn’t work for me. I have made the big changes.

This president has cried wolf so many times. I apologize if I have offended you. But I just have to be done. I need my energy for me. I can’t fix him and I can’t fix the United States of America.

Why does this president need so much attention?

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

You Can’t Stay There On the Floor or That Is Where You Stay

You Can’t Stay There On the Floor or That Is Where You Stay

by | Apr 27, 2026 | Cancer, Chronic Illness, Essential Oils, Fuel Your Wellness, Opinions, Wellness

This post was originally posted on WellnessWorksNW.com on April 20, 2026.

I recently saw this advertisement for a t-shirt for fibromyalgia awareness. On the front of the shirt there was a cartoon of a woman lying on the ground with a circle drawn around her. The words above her said: It hurts here. I think of that cartoon often, not because it is funny but because of the stark reality of it. Someone was trying to make dark comedy of it, but if you stay there, the humor is lost. You can’t stay there on the floor or that is where you stay. I know because, even though I didn’t get a diagnosis of fibromyalgia until around 2016 or so, I know I had it well before then. I didn’t bother going to a doctor about it. I already was mourning the arthritis diagnosis and a few others. None that would kill me, but all that would never go away. I was watching as my once strong body was losing more and more, and I could do nothing about it, and from what I had read, there was nothing I could do about fibromyalgia.

I have a total of 13 chronic illnesses. 3 of them are mental and the rest are physical. I have a primary doctor, a psychiatric RN, therapist and 4 specialists in my speed dial. I take 14 prescriptions and a hand full of supplements and use Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils®  to help me manage side effects and sometimes to help me get over ailments that might otherwise bypass some over the counter meds I can’t use because my body doesn’t like them. I have been a professional sick person since 2014. But it started before then. And I have had more.

I kicked cancer‘s ass and stopped taking 3 meds in the last year, only 1 medication was related to the cancer. I have also managed to finally figure out how to lose weight after a lifetime of being very fat and I am working on getting to a healthy weight. As I get smaller, I plan to drop specific meds because I don’t see a need for them.

Everything is about balance, what my labs say, and logical process. So far everything is going well. My doctors know everything I am doing. I hide nothing. It would irresponsible to do that. Why would you hide intel from the team that has helped you find success? I fired the ones that didn’t work, so I know the ones that are still here are the best for me.

If I sound flippant, I am not. I am a woman that has been through all stages of mourning: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. With each new diagnosis, which felt like physical pain and loss, I lost a piece of myself. I lost illusions that I once had believed I would have certain things, I had wanted. As people I had served with love, left me alone and with no help, I had to look around and see that the only ones who were left, had only love to give, but they knew what bravery was and they taught it to me. Without them, I would have ended it all. But I am here because they helped me learn to look in the mirror and see what they saw when they looked at me. A valiant, strong, smart and capable woman. Not perfection but someone who would become something unshakeable about who she is.

The things that were once so important to me, are not anymore. Honesty, integrity, and knowledge is vital to me. But not in the way that some people use it to hurt people. I like to use it to try to keep my mind open and adaptable, so that I can try to bend with others because when you are chronic, you have to be fluid.

Jamie Holloway and I have almost died several times. I don’t know how Karen G Clemenson has made it through. I know she has carried me with her head down, while I am crazy until I know Jamie has made it again; not sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time, constantly researching new things to help her or me get through this, or make her life better when she is able to get back to her normal, or whatever that is. I think Karen must just work when it is me; anything to keep breathing until I am cussing out the nurses, which tells everyone that I need to go home because I do not thrive in a hospital. There is no creativity there.

But being a chronic person never stops. I have been told by people that I should not call myself that, or I should not say that I have a phone phobia in my voicemail message. I don’t know why they think I should not be honest. I think, they think, I should not be so open about it. But I believe my honesty makes them uncomfortable. But candor is part of my life. It is with me everyday. And in reality, if I tell you that I might not answer my phone messages and that you should call my wife if it is really important, you know what to do, if you really need to reach me. I don’t have the luxury of being afraid, or rather letting fear stop me. By being straightforward we all can get where we need to go. If I hide my shortcomings, we might miss out on the blessings of sincerity.

I am a blessed woman. I have a wife and a sister that are amazing. We carry each other. We are safety to each other. Not everyone has that kind of refuge. We have earned that with each other. If I let my fear get in the way, what is the point of hope? Why get off the floor?

That is how I live. I might only get 15 good minutes in a day. But if I do my workout and all my self-care, eat well and try to get some good sleep, think positive and feed my mind good things, maybe another 15 minutes will come. Maybe I will get a few good days. I am not going to buy that t-shirt. I don’t want to advertise being on the floor. I want to take a picture of anything good I did that day and showcase it. Even if I only get a few good minutes, that is what I want to focus on. The floor is something I want to stand on and sometimes even dance on.

If you are needing help creating a Wellness Plan that works for you, please Contact Wellness Works NW at 360-270-3880. Karen G Clemenson is a very caring and authentic person and she is looking forward to talking with you and helping you define your Wellness Goals and strategies. I hope this article answered questions you had and was easy to understand. If you would like us to write about a particular topic that you can’t find on this site, please send us an email on our Dear Jamie page and someone from Our Team will be glad to research and write about your topic.

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Image Credit: This picture was taken by my brother, Josh. I can’t tell you how proud I am of him and his floors!

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I hope this article helps Fuel Your Wellness. Please leave your comments below.

Summer D Clemenson is a co-owner Clemenson Enterprises, LLC and Wellness Works NW. Summer her wife, Karen G Clemenson’s personal motto is Creativity, Honesty & Positivity are a must! This mantra helps them stay community and wellness minded in all they do. Summer is an Independent Wellness Advocate at dōTERRA. Summer also writes poetry and inspirational blogs @ GoodTimesAlways.com.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

I’m Tired

I’m Tired

by | Apr 25, 2026 | Cowlitz County, Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

I have been really careful about where I have put my energy this week. I feel there is a change in the air. It has been coming upon me for a while now. A teacher I listen to is saying that there is an upgrade; the planets and stars are aligned in a way that hasn’t happened in something like 125 years and the systems that live off our life forces are working overtime but this is a time for upgrade. Not a time to go back to what we used to know. I feel that. I am on day 4 of a parasite cleanse. I have been trying to sleep more. I have even gleaned clothes and shoes I don’t need, to give away. Today I’m tired.

I started following Amy E. Sousa on Facebook from my article yesterday, The Audacity. I think I have figured out what I was attracted to. She is familiar. She is afraid. She is a victim. She is intelligent. She gains power from all of these attributes. I asked a question of her on one of her videos — she has a lot. I gave some background information. She has not responded but her followers have.

I was not argumentative. I told her I agreed, that I understand why she believes we need to fight for neutral or family restrooms for the use of families and transgender people, for the safety of women and the use of families. But I also told her that I had known of a small bio-male child that announced they were a girl when they were very young and they were not supported. The child has still grown to be a non-binary person. I have met many other humans that, even though I don’t fully understand their situation, I see they are much happier after they have transitioned, and I don’t see how it hurts me to call them what they want. I even let her know that I am an empath and I can feel the feminine on a person with male characteristics and visa-versa. I even quoted scripture (Galatians 3:28) that says there is no nationality or gender, we are all one in Christ. I have been laughed at by several people. One woman said I was looking down on her. That was never my intention. I am just comfortable in my belief.

I have not unfollowed Ms. Sousa yet. I feel conviction to listen. At least for a while. Because even though I do dream of a world where I don’t have to resist. I love this video by Whitney Alese because civil rights are not just for Queer folks or Women or Black people or Disabled humans and I belong to all these groups, but all people. I hope this video is still here:

I also found myself enjoying this video by Rainbow Girls. I have paraphrased the words because it made a really profound statement to me, since I have walked with Jesus for 45 years and I can’t imagine Jesus this way at all. The video was available at the time I posted this article and I posted it below the words:

    • Which poor people would Jesus kill or starve? Would He be neutral about genocide?

 

    • CHORUS: Who would Jesus bomb? Tell me who would Jesus bomb? Would it be kids in Palestine or how ’bout Vietnam? Would Jesus bomb the Atheists, the Muslims, or the Jews? I want you to ask yourself, well what would Jesus do?

 

    • Would He find situations “complicated”? If He was sleeping on a sidewalk would you help Him, or would you just watch where you stepped?

 

    • Would Jesus bomb LGBTIA+ people? Would He suggest they kill themselves? Would He tell homeless man to get a job or turn His back on the poor or look down on anyone?

 

    • How would Jesus vote? If He ran for office what type of government would He choose? Would he lead a megachurch? Would He build a border wall or use tools meant for war? Would he run a bank? Would He feel free in His skin when you found out He is brown?

We live in a world that forces us to always choose. I wish we lived in a world that just allowed us to be. I used to live in a world where I could choose to stay quiet and say I hated politics but after I got married, which was the about the same time that I became disabled, I had to become aware. Before then I was just a fat, white woman from a middle class family. Yes, I was the scapegoat for the shenanigans of my family, but if I followed the rules, I was essentially kept. But disability is not something that can be handled well or hidden. And I was not going to hide my wife. The fact that I had one was an abomination, but that she was black…

I had already decided that I loved people. I was learning how to love the inconvenient ones. It was on purpose. Because Jesus loves us all, on purpose.

I wish I could just say I hate politics and close my eyes. I wish I could pick a side and hate the other, but if I am honest, and I am brutally honest, there are failures on both sides. But there are successes on both sides.

John Kerry was on The Tonight Show recently. I had forgotten about him. It had been years since I had seen him. As I listened to him talk, I remembered that I had liked him, when I was in college. I voted for him. He didn’t win, but I know why I liked him. I like him for the same reason I like Pete Buttigieg. It isn’t because they are democrats. It is because there is something about them that reminds me of Grandpa Bill. Grandpa was a staunch republican. But he was also a gentleman that understood boundaries, the power of silence, and to take a breath and think before he spoke. All of these men serve. They don’t give beyond their boundaries. They know when to be quiet. They also always take a breath before they answer to consider what is right to say…and they also know how to use humor when necessary. My wife, Karen G Clemenson, is a republican and she also is working on learning all these habits.

If I could find a political party that stood firmly on equal civil rights for all people and a balanced budget, I would vote for that party. The republicans used to believe in a balanced budget, but nationally, we are so far away from a balanced budget; I have written about how the Trump Administration is lining their pockets in Oversite Can Mean Supervision or An Unintentional Mistake, I have also written about how the treasury has declared the United States insolvent in Regarding H.Con.Res.15, and I wrote about how 12 days before Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill was brought before Congress, there was another bill that would have forced Congress to be fiscally responsible and have a balanced budget, in Regarding H.B. 3289. The MAGA’s in Cowlitz County have tons to say about our local government but Trump can do no wrong.

But I have listened to our republican representatives for Washington State. I have heard Jim Walsh make jokes about LBGTQI+ people. But it seems that his running mate Joel McEntire has made it quite the game online. Joel and I used to be friends on Facebook but he has unfriended me, however, I found some interesting posts he made online and I wanted to share them with you. If I was a woman…OH! I am…I would advise you to find someone else to represent you.

Click on any of these images to make them larger. Click on the arrow to the right of the screen to scroll through them. Click anywhere on the screen to make them smaller again.

If you are interested in researching someone else to represent you in Olympia, I have the name of a good guy. In fact Terry Carlson is it. I have met both he and his wife and they are lovely people and they appreciate and support all people in the state of Washington. He is running against Joel McEntire. I don’t know anything about Mike Coverdale but I will be watching him. He is running against Jim Walsh.

I hope I didn’t lose you while I processed a lot today, but I believe it was all connected. Because I love people. People are important and who we support, and why support them is important. Who we give our energy to, says a lot about us, whether we are aware of it or not. When you are done with your day, are you inspired or drained? Did you give too much? Does that happen after you have seen certain people? Have you watched too much TV or read too much news? Take care of yourself. Learn to say no. Learn to stick up for yourself and the people you love.

I dream of a world where everyone feels loved. I love you. Be blessed.

 

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

The Audacity

The Audacity

by | Apr 24, 2026 | Opinions, Queer Community

On Monday April 20, 2026 I was scrolling on Facebook and a video caught my attention. The video was by Amy E. Sousa, MA Depth Psychology. Ms. Sousa is an embodiment educator, writer, lecturer. and boundaries coach. Her website is at knownheretic.com. I was compelled to watch her video several times, even though I did not agree with her. Eventually I emailed it to myself to return to it with fresh eyes. Today was the day.

I watched her video again, many times, because although I do not agree with her, I don’t know if it the hot, angry librarian look that intrigued me or her absolute sureness of self that makes me want to question whether or not I want to give my time to her.

If you want to watch her video, I was not able to share it here. Here is a link that worked at the time I created this article: THE AUDACITY: Response to the men playing crybully while stealing women’s rights.

Ms. Sousa uses words that lead me to believe that she believes that transwomen are men. We do not agree on this viewpoint. I just want to state this right out of the starting point.

Sousa feels it is safe for transwomen to use the men’s restroom. She thinks that if transwomen feel unsafe using the men’s bathroom, she suggests they argue this with men to create more safety in the men’s facilities. She also considers it being a good idea to work with men to create expansion on the definition of what is masculine.

Sousa feels strongly that it is not women and girl’s responsibility to help anyone feel safe from men. Men are not a marginalized group. Generally, this can be a true statement, however, I have met men that can disagree with her statement. Some men, even cis men, can be marginalized. Although Sousa, tends to be more direct than I am drawn to, that too might be what I am drawn to. She is very sure of herself and that could be for many very good reasons. Everyone has their reasons. We need to listen to people; I believe the fact that we don’t, is part of the problems we have as a society. Even though, I don’t agree, her bravado and precise speech tell me her advocacy is important to her. As much as I want equal rights for everyone, I have been frustrated by a young person who was angered by me, because they did not tell me their pronouns, and I got it wrong.

One argument that Sousa made, that I am starting to believe, might be a good one is to fight for legislation for gender neutral restrooms or facilities for gender expansive people. My reasoning for this, is not because I have a problem with anyone in the bathroom, but some people do and some for very good reason. Also if there were more “family” bathrooms then fathers with girls would have an easier time when they need to help their small children in the restroom and young ladies who are not prepared for the start of their cycles would hopefully find the supplies they need until they get home. More “family” restrooms would serve many types of people.

“When some men use their identity labels as a reason for why men deserve access to women and girls’ spaces it normalizes and desensitizes increasing boundary violations against women and girls. It degrades the existing boundaries that women and girls fought long and hard for.” Sousa

I am wondering if there are abuse victims that need transgender females to fight for their own bathrooms through legislation or at least talk to business owners to make gender neutral accommodations where possible.

I did not write this article to attack Amy E. Sousa. Until I saw her viewpoint, I could only see what I believed. I appreciate that she could help me see another side. As a transgender person might argue, they have been an abuse victim, so women should understand why they would not want to use the men’s restroom; what Sousa might be saying is that the transwoman should have compassion on the woman that is a sex abuse survivor and should not have to share the restroom with someone who has traits of a man, even if they would prefer not to.

This article is not meant to be anti-trans or anti-man or anti-woman. This article is meant to share perspectives. I would love to engage in healthy and caring conversation on this if you would like to share your opinion, please do.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

Grace is Amazing

Grace is Amazing

by | Apr 23, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

In this moment I feel You
I can hear the praises
my soul sings to You
in words I don’t know
but I can feel them love You

~

Like the first breeze after a hot flash
or muscles that have been held in place too long
that are free to stretch out
and dance to music only i can hear
You are the only One
I want to worship

~

I know I fail sometimes
In my humanity I am weak
But when I repent
When I remember who You are
Grace is amazing

~

Image Credit: Photo by Shawn Kirchner.

~

On the Other Side 

On the Other Side 

by | Apr 22, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry

Even though you suggested
my head be removed
because I don’t agree with you
I don’t hate you
I have decided
I don’t have any energy for that

~

Implying that I am not worthy of consideration
or being heard
Even as I argued your point
From a different perspective 
No matter what every person is important
and I don’t care if you want to stay the same

~

Some of this rage is absolutely mine
but I am done being angry
or guilty of feeding
Your inner emotional vampire
I am inspired from the transmutation 
of anger to creativity 

~

I know you require my life force 
but it’s not available
I have been working on
Light Containment Management
to keep you from manipulating 
what is mine

~

See you on the other side 
of this Planetary Detox Event
I’ll be the one who can look myself in the eyes
I don’t think you hate me
It is natural to be scared of
people who can do what you can’t

~

I am confident in my position

~

Being Chronic is no Joke

Being Chronic is no Joke

by | Apr 19, 2026 | Chronic Illness, Opinions, Poetry

The ringing in my ears
swings between the normal hum
and somewhere beyond octaves I can’t sing
My eyes weep involuntarily
in time with the pulsing in my cheeks
My face is not literally on fire
but the nerves are not making
life fun these days

~

My wrists have been singing to me all week
and my ankles answer back
While lying down I realize I don’t know
how long I have been pointing and flexing
my toes as if I was preparing to dance
I went off Methotrexate
to make sure my shingles vaccine worked
Karen asked if I noticed a difference
It’s hard to say

~

I applied Deep Blue Stick liberally
and more than usual yesterday
I just broke out the Sumatriptan
I can take one more in an hour and a half
if this migraine doesn’t break
I hope the pills are successful
I am out of the cannabis product that works for me
Piano music is playing
The diffuser is going with Breathe and On Guard
The blackout curtains are doing their job
I just cancelled plans with Mom

~

Being Chronic is no joke

~

I must have passed out
I imagine this is the feeling of a
weighted blanket
The medicine triumphed
But moving is very difficult
It takes much thought and devotion
When my face spasms
I see an image of a brain being squeezed
while I press on my face
I forgot about the burning smell
I will go back to sleep now
that I have documented this for
future moments of inspection

~

Today is just beginning but it is already over
Being Chronic is no joke

~

You Don’t Listen 

You Don’t Listen 

by | Apr 17, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Politics, Queer Community

There is more than one frequency
that I pick up on
Not just what the world demands
and my sick body requires
but what my Spirit sings to me
Words most of us don’t want to hear

~

I am very aware of what I need
I have walked on this earth
I am well read
You did not show up for me
when I needed you
God has always taught me well
He wants me to forgive you

~

My capacity to love is vast
My ability to forgive is impressive
The art of teaching you is another story
Because you know what you know
You don’t want to know more
You think you know everything
so you don’t listen

~

To be so sure of everything is decadent
I don’t know anyone that rich
Even my own body betrays me
I should be so much more without
If I accepted the lies it tells me
But instead I embrace all the joy I can find
I will get to the todo list in time

~

I am the Beloved
but I am only that to Him
In this world
I am many other things
They are heavy and hard to carry
I can’t accept more burdens from you
I wont carry what you have for me

~

My pack is full
of things you are afraid to talk about
Racism, Queerphobia and Chronic Illness are all part of my life
I can’t afford to hate them
when we share the same mirror
Otherwise what is the point of hope?
What I think is important too

~

If I choose to forgive you
even if you don’t apologize
how many rooms will I have shut off from you
inside myself
because you refuse to see me?
I know you have your own burdens
you have told me about them all my life
I don’t need you to tell me how to carry mine

~

Image Credit: Art from Kosmos Journal for Transformation

Book Review: Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Book Review: Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen

by | Apr 16, 2026 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

In one of my latest book pile purchases I found myself drawn to a nonfiction Christian book entitled Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen. It was a small, used theology book, with no dust cover but my sister, Jamie Holloway, often shares quotes by this wise man and I thought he would make a particularly something day feel something and he did. For the last month or so, the nerves in my face have been having a party and that is no fun for me. It makes speaking, eating, drinking and even sleeping terrible. This beautiful faith book was a reminder of what I know my Creator thinks of me and it helped me stay focused and creative because that is how you find any joy in a hard time.

Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence.

Any other voices we might hear proves that you are worth something or that you must do something to be relevant, spectacular or powerful and then you will earn the love you desire. But by being the Beloved, you just are.

When love chooses, it chooses with a perfect sensitivity for the unique beauty of the chosen one, and it chooses without making anyone else feel excluded.

God, is the only one that can choose perfectly. Or whatever you call the Creator.

When the world does not choose us, we have to dare to know the truth that God did. Everyone else in the world has their own agenda or need to control, their own feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem or insecurities, fears, depression or any other thing that might cause them to pull you down with them but the greatest spiritual battle, that never ends, is with us knowing and holding our Belovedness.

I am not an accident. I am a divine choice.

A blessing touches the original goodness of the other and calls forth their Belovedness. Blessings are all around us and if we are too busy, we miss them. Prayer and presence help us to become more perceptive. Not claiming blessings will lead to the land of the cursed. You have to choose how you want to live. When you are aware of your blessings you will want to call out the blessings you see in yourself and others.

No one is brought to life through curses, gossip, accusations or blaming.

We must befriend our brokenness, which seems unnatural and masochistic. But brokenness is an intimate part of our being. Just as a our chosenness is. When you are not afraid, you can face anything and eventually you might have peace and even joy where fear and anxiety once were.

If you only curse your brokenness, that is what you will have. But if you put it under the blessedness of being the Beloved, as you are, it can become a gift. Our lives find their fulfillment in giving ourselves to each other.

I think that is our deepest human desire is to give ourselves to each other as a source of physical, emotional and spiritual growth.

This is a very special book. I have been on this journey for that last 12 years. Maybe longer. When I stopped fighting the direction I was supposed to go, whether I call it, religion or spirituality, I learned to listen more, and to ask more questions; to know that I don’t know everything, but know that what I do know is important but not more important than the human I am looking at, I began to understand my Belovedness. The term stopped making me scared.

I think this book says what I have learned and a little more, very well.

This book is from my own personal collection. You can get your own copy of Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen on Amazon.com.

Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular WorldLife of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World by Henri J.M. Nouwen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Life of the Beloved by Henri J.M. Nouwen is a wonderful little book that talks about how we are chosen by our Creator to be Beloved. How this chosenness can help us to choose a life of blessing for ourself and for others. How we can choose to speak and live well and call out the good for each other and find peace and joy instead of fear and anxiety. In this short book of letters to a friend, Nouwen, shares his heart and how to love.

View all my reviews

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

~

All Hail The King

All Hail The King

by | Apr 16, 2026 | Opinions, Poetry, Prayers & Thanksgiving

On this 16th day of March 2026
I know this day is giving 
The prophets I have listened to
agreed that this day was
one reason we are all twitterpated

~

You are holy
All knowing
You created this day and me
I don’t know anything about aura
But I thought I was seeing something golden 
Instead it was a prism
of jewel tones
Like a crown if You were to wear one
Like You have called me

~

Every sound is profound
I feel them
Even as the nerve pain has
made it quite painful to speak
So painful it has a taste
So I write
You are holy
You are here
I am in You

~

So I wait for what is to come
because waiting is a practice
Listening is a skill
Hearing is a process
Living is a gift

~

All Hail the King
not the one on the throne
the one that demands glory
respects no one and gives little
But the one in my heart
Who showed me what love is
so I could love Him
and my neighbor
and calls me His Beloved

~

In the Middle East

In the Middle East

by | Apr 15, 2026 | Opinions, Politics

For a long time I have known I didn’t know everything about the wars going on in the Middle East. I knew I needed to pray for the people over there, but I didn’t want to support it any other way. I know the bible tells us to pray for and bless Israel. Twenty five or more years ago I had been to church meetings where I was told that Israel was so important and we were supposed to hold them up. I was part of groups that were planning to go. I was so excited, but when I asked God if I was supposed to go, He said no.

With God things don’t have to make sense. I just have to trust Him.

I wasn’t upset. I knew I had my own mission. I was a home missionary. People don’t talk a lot about them. We don’t get any hype but we have our role. God uses us. Plus, I had seen people come back from mission trips and they were not ok. Or at least they were very different, and not always in the right way. I prayed for them.

I was learning who to listen to and who to let go their own way. Not everything that sounds exciting or beautiful is beneficial.

I was feeling the same way about the Gaza war and I was getting words that led me to believe we were wrong to be supporting Israel with anything other than prayers. At first, I felt terrible for Israel on October 7, 2023. 1,195 people were killed, dozens of people were raped, 251 people were taken hostage, and 3,400 were wounded. But since then, at least 72,000 Palestinians have died and 172,000 have been wounded. At least 2,000 Israelis have been killed.

Israel says they will not stop fighting until Hamas is finished, yet studies indicate that women, children and elderly people make up over 56% of the violent deaths in this war. And 80% of the deaths in this war are civilians. 90% of the infrastructure that has been destroyed is civilian structures.

None of this makes sense. Hamas is based out of Iran.

Today I was doing my bible study I was reading in Judges chapter 19-21.

There is a story about Gibeah’s Crime. There was no king in Israel at the time. There was a man in Ephraim who had taken a concubine, the bible called her a wife or a concubine, interchangeably. She had become angry with him and had gone home to her father’s house in Bethlehem in Judah. Once the man was tired of waiting for her to return, he went to bring her home.

On their way home, they stopped in Gibeah because it was night. A kind man took the man, his wife, his servant and his donkeys in for the night. The town knew because they had waited in the town square and people had seen. Soon a crowd of evil men came to the kind man’s house and demanded the man from Ephraim, with the intention of raping and terrorizing him. The kind man begged them to remember the law of hospitality, which is paramount in their culture. He offered his virgin daughter and the concubine.

In a rage, the man from Ephraim threw this concubine out the door and slammed it shut. The men gang raped her until she died.

The next day, the man from Ephraim put her on a donkey and took her home. When he got home, he cut her into 12 pieces and sent her to the 12 tribes of Israel.

Then he commanded the men whom he sent, saying, “Thus shall you say to all the Israelites: Has such a thing ever happened since the day that the Israelites came up from the land of Egypt until this day? Consider it, take counsel, and speak out.” Judges 19:30

So all the tribes heard the man of Ephraim and decided to go up against Gibeah. But Gibeah would not give up the murderers and they were willing to fight. But the eleven other tribes followed God and were woefully successful against their kin and they won. (Judges 20)

Thankfully, not all Benjaminites, who lived in Gibeah were killed because it made all Israelites sad to think that one tribe would be lost. (Judges 21)

I have so many questions about this story:

  • Why would these men in Gibeah want to randomly rape and terrorize this man?
  • Why would it be ok for the kind man to offer his virgin daughter and the concubine instead?
  • What kind of man would send his wife to satisfy the evil men outside?
  • What kind of person can cut up his wife and send her body to 12 tribes and not just a letter?
  • How different are the people in the Middle East from the rest of the world?

I have been walking with God for 45 years. I am very comfortable with not understanding everything. I have learned that faith is something God is a talented author of and I can always trust Him. He always gives the words in the moment. But I feel pretty confident that a person can be known, but the governments of the Middle East, not so much.

Besides what I have already mentioned, but considering what I have read about troubles we are having with cease fire talks for the Iran War, and the fact that we are having trouble paying our own bills, here in the United States, I am very comfortable with not funding any more of the fire arms for Israel. I do pray that God bless us all. Amen

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

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