by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 14, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I recently had the opportunity to read I Will Not Fear My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire by Melba Pattillo Beals and I was so touched by her story. Every moment, it seemed, of this woman’s life was a tribute to faith and strength and it spoke to my soul.
“God loves you. He knows how beautiful you are. Don’t crinkle that pretty little face. God doesn’t know the word nigger and He will be disappointed if you give in to it.” Her grandmother, India Peyton, to Beals, Introduction
Melba Pattillo Beals was born on December 7, 1941, on Pearl Harbor Day at Missouri Pacific Hospital. It was a whites only hospital but since her father worked there and her grandmother promised that Bishop Riley, a black pastor that had a lot of respect in the town, would be appreciative if an acceptation was made in their case, since it was obvious that the baby was too large for her mother to deliver without help, they were allowed to stay in a storage room. They had to enter using the back door. No birth certificate would be administered with the hospital’s name on it. There would be no visitors allowed and only the mother, father and grandmother were allowed in the hospital.
Beals required forceps to be born which caused an infection that required surgery. The doctor ordered her head to be rinsed with Epson salts every 2 hours but the white nurses refused to care for the infant. As the baby’s temperature reached 105 degrees, the janitor heard their prayers and told them the orders he had overheard the doctor give the nurses. Beals’ grandmother went to the store to purchase Epson salts and took care of the baby herself and she was able to go home in 3 days.
15 years later in September of 1957, Beals was chosen as one of the Little Rock Nine. She was One of 9 students chosen by the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) to integrate Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas. This decision was not supported by the local people. It had been made by the United States Supreme Court, who stated that separate was not equal and all schools must integrate.
Angry, rock-throwing mobs surrounded the school. The Ku Klux Klan rode every night and more frequently in the neighborhood Beals lived in. The local newspaper listed the student’s addresses and phone numbers which brought obscene phone calls and random bullets flying through windows.
On the first day of school the National Guard had been called in by the governor to keep the black students from entering the school. Beals saw her friend, Elizabeth, escape the angry mob to the safety of Mrs. Grace Lorch and Benjamin Fine from the New York Times. Beals and her mother were not so lucky. As the crowd threatened to rape and lynch them, Beals remembered her grandmother telling her that God was as close as her skin and so she prayed to God and they were able to reach their car and get away as the mob threw rocks and punched their car.
The governor called back the National Guard and began using State Troopers to keep the black children out of the school even though the NAACP told the students to stay home while they filed an injunction to prohibit the governor from blocking their entry.
Monday September 23, 1957 the 9 students were led into the school by local police. There were given class assignments where none of them had any classes together. Not any white student or faculty wanted them there and it showed. By 11:30 am the black students had to be evacuated and taken home because the police could not control the violent mob outside. In response President Eisenhower sent the 101st Airborne Division of the US Army — The Screaming Eagles, the heroes of the Korean War — to guard that black students and keep the peace.
Wednesday September 25, 1957, 9 children were escorted by armed 101st Division Soldiers, helicopters flew overhead and troopers galloped back and forth across 2 blocks in front of the high school. Each student had 2 soldiers each. This didn’t stop all the abuse but Beal’s hopes rose that she would get a good education.
Lessons Beals Learned Through Her High School Experience:
- The President sending troops to protect black students was a miracle.
- It’s God’s plan that prevails — not our’s.
- You can’t change other people, only yourself.
- Integrating the school was not about the 9 students but about the generations to come.
- There is not time for worry — you must be aware and alert about now so you can cope with day to day attacks.
- Segregation took away opportunities but mostly self-esteem.
- Always be grateful.
- Always forgive.
During the summer of 1958 Governor Foubus had a private white school built and closed all public schools. Since they weren’t using tax dollars there was nothing the government could do. The 5 remaining students from the original Little Rock Nine that hadn’t been expelled, had to wait to see what the NAACP told them to do.
Beal’s grandmother also died around this time and it was a great trial for her to go through. Although she spent the morning studying she used the rest of the day doing what her grandmother had used to do to keep the house going for her family.
In 1959 the NAACP sent Beals to Santa Rosa, CA to finish her senior year. The KKK had put posters up offering cash rewards for the death of the 9 students and it was not longer safe for them to stay in Little Rock. No one told Beals that the NAACP was run by white people in Santa Rosa or the family she would be staying with was also white before she got there. This was a huge adjustment for her, but eventually she learned that these people were not going to hurt her and she built loving relationships with them. This was truly a life-changing experience for her. The McCabe family taught Beals that white didn’t mean freedom. Freedom was a mindset that we can all enjoy.
As Beals started college, at 19-years-old, she met and married Jay, a white man. He did not care about skin color and he helped her heal from the pain in the past. But he also wanted her at home. He wanted a traditional wife that was happy to stay at home, cooking, cleaning, and being a mommy. But Beals wanted an education and a career and married life was not working. Their marriage ended but it produced a beautiful daughter and Beals left with positive and loving thoughts of Jay.
Beals was offered a scholarship at Columbia University in New York. Her daughter went to stay with her mother in Little Rock. Afterward she went back to California to fill a position as a news reporter at KQED. Later she moved to KRON TV and soon realized she was facing a quiet form of racism. She prayed to God for guidance and then stood up for herself and let her bosses know if this behavior remained she would have to gain the support of the NAACP. She knew she was given a big responsibility and didn’t want to fail.
“…it is important that I follow God’s words to treat others as equals; seeing equal is an essential quest for being seen as equals.” Chapter 12
By following her heart and God’s lead, Beals was able to push beyond the fluffy stories female reporters were usually restricted to in the 1970’s. She covered several serious crimes and impressed her male colleagues and helped women see they could have the future they wanted. She also moved on to self-employment doing public relations and authoring books.
On Tuesday November 9, 1999 the Little Rock Nine received the Congressional Gold Medal.
Throughout Beals’ life she overcame adversity by praying to God and following her heart. She kept her mind strong and never lost faith. This book is not just one inspirational story but several over one woman’s lifetime. Beals is a good writer and her words compel you to continue turning the pages.
Thank you to my sister, Jamie Holloway, for loaning me the copy of the book I read. You can get your own copy of I Will Not Fear My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire by Melba Pattillo Beals on Amazon.com
Read my Review on Goodreads:
I Will Not Fear: My Story of a Lifetime of Building Faith Under Fire by Melba Pattillo Beals
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I found this book to be very inspiring. Beals writes in a way that is easy to absorb while imagining her ordeals vividly. She is a strong woman with a powerful voice.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 13, 2022 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Life, Opinions, Wellness
I mentioned coming home in my blog, I Had to Paint my Toenails Today and said it was a process. I was talking about when you have been away from home for a period of time. If I were returning from military deployment, the Military Family Readiness System would available to me to help me re-engage with my family and life at home. But what I was really talking about was returning to myself.
As long as I can remember I have been trying to understand why I didn’t fit and why I wasn’t happy. I had moments of happy but they didn’t last. About 25 years ago I tried medication and therapy but had a very bad reaction because my doctors weren’t listening to me so I quit. 20 years ago I really jumped in and began digging in myself with God and a trusted pastor and we got a lot of things out of the way. This helped me through until about 8 years ago when I got physically sick and had a mental break down. I knew that this time, there were parts of me that were not going to come back. I was diligent, honest with myself and with the help of my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and my sister, Jamie Holloway, and a team of medical professionals I found an action plan that worked for me. Karen is my rock and soldier and Jamie taught me to be brave and speak for myself.
A couple of weeks ago I was reading a book and suddenly realized I was happy. It was a sudden realization. My expectations of happiness have changed a lot. I now understand that happiness is a state of mind. Nothing you can buy has anything to do with happiness. Happiness is more about having what you need and the freedom to dream. I have those things. I stopped everything and told Karen, who seemed just as surprised as I was. This is part of being home.
When I say coming home, I am not just talking about coming back to where I live but also to my action plan. There are things I do every day that keep me balanced and yesterday was the first day I did them all. It took me 6 days, where I did most or some of them, but not all of them, but on the 6th day I made it. These things are not so big, but they are vital to me and showing myself self-love.
This is my every day list:
- My morning anaerobic workout
- My toiletries and skin care
- Get dressed
- Make sure I have my steel cut oats for tomorrow and eat them for breakfast
- Drink plenty of water or tea
- Do my bible study and journal
- Take meds when the 3 alarms go off (thank God for pill sorters)
- Read and write something
- Take 2 short walks – This one is new!
I do other things every day but these are the must do’s. When I do these things I know I am taking care of what I need to feel like I have cared for my physical, mental and spiritual needs. In this world we often get so busy that we neglect one or all of these things and we should not do this. Each of us is not just a body but a mind and a spirit and we have to foster health in all areas or we become unbalanced and we lose our feeling of home.
I always thought it was selfish to make time for myself until I got sick. When you get chronically ill you learn that if you don’t create as much balance in your life as you can, you will cause more flares. In a way, this is a gift because it forces you to learn to love yourself. God tells us to rest because He knows we are fragile and He knows we need time to recuperate from our hectic lives.
If you don’t have a routine of self-love for everyday, I encourage you to create one. Maybe you don’t have to do as many things as I do. I didn’t start with a list this long. It took years to get here. But maybe you could find one thing you could do for yourself and when you get used to doing that everyday, add another. You are important. You are your home. You wouldn’t let your roof keep leaking so don’t let your body, mind and spirit go without care.
Read More:
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 12, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
So my wife, Karen G Clemenson, brought this book home from the library and I ended up reading it. There were times it was hard to read because I could feel some of the author’s pain but I am glad I read Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacker. Hornbacker’s struggle was real and relatable. This is her story and she openly shares how she self-medicated for many years before she was able to come up with an action plan that works for her and her family and loved ones to deal with her bipolar disorder type 1.
In the 1970’s psychiatry knew little about bipolar disorder – we didn’t even know it by that name until the 1980’s. Many people with bipolar disorder were wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia. In the 90’s people were misdiagnosed with unipolar depression. “Mental Illness” was rarely discussed.
In order to control the mania and rapid cycling moods she went through, Hornbacker manifested the following coping mechanisms from age 6-13 year of age:
- Depression starts in 1981
- Obsessive prayer starts in 1983
- Anorexia and Bulimia starts in 1984
- Alcohol abuse starts in 1985
- Cutting starts in 1988
Mental illness runs in her father’s family. Her father lives with depression. Hornbacker’s symptoms began to show as early as age 4. Although she had the full support from her family, doctors often didn’t know what to do to help her. Even with her anorexia and bulimia, Hornbacker felt that doctors often treated the symptoms of the eating disorders but often missed the actual mental illness that was the real cause, wreaking havoc on the person’s mind.
Many times, as Hornbacker seeks help, doctors are not listening to her. The therapist she is seeing in 1995 doesn’t care that emotions are manic or that she cuts daily. She asks if she is journaling, tells Hornbacker to appreciate her success with eating and continue with her self-care. That night she accidentally cuts too deep.
In 1996 Hornbacker gets married to Julian. She has manic fits at night and terrorizes the house, drives like a maniac until she heads home to pass out and compulsively shops. The marriage lasts 2 years.
Hornbacker fails to tell doctors of her extreme drinking and no sleep. She doesn’t eat, she drinks tons of coffee and doesn’t take her pills regularly, if at all. By August 2000 she has a complete meltdown that lands her in a lock-down facility. She is told if she doesn’t stop drinking she will never get better.
In 2002, Hornbacker is 28-years-old and has been sober for a year. She has remarried to Jeff and her bipolar is in remission. As she relaxes she begins her same patterns of working and playing too hard…after 7 hospitalizations…
“Some people with bipolar have only one major episode, or have several and then go into remission and live years without them ever coming back. My bipolar, ultra-rapid-cycle-type-1, is tough to treat, and the doctors have warned me that it will probably put in the hospital again. But they can’t say how often, or when it will happen next. So I have two choices: live in constant fear that the next episode is just around the corner, waiting to attack, or live as if by doing the right things to keep myself well, the episodes will never come again,” Chapter 43
Hornbacker is one of the lucky ones, surrounded by a loving family and close friends that will take time to be with her when she shouldn’t be alone and have her hospitalized when she needs more care than they can provide, which is something that is part of her reality. She has times of clarity and times of confusion, but she is always loved.
“That’s what madness looks like: a small woman in baggy red pajamas sitting on a kitchen chair, her feet dangling above the ground, trying to figure out how to eat an eclair while everyone she knows and loves watches her closely, as if she’s a rat in a cage, to see what will happen next.” Chapter 47
Facts from 2008:
- 2.8% of the United State population has bipolar disorder
- 25% of bipolar patients have attempted suicide
- There is no drug that specifically treats bipolar
- 50% of people with bipolar disorder are not being treated at all
I am really glad I read this book. I find myself inspired by the changes in our mental health profession and I have hope that more people are more comfortable talking about mental illness. We must make this topic so common place that we can talk about it anywhere. There is no shame in being sick or needing help. Yes, there are some people that may not be able to function in society or may be dangerous but most people need to have a proper action plan and support to have a healthy and meaningful life. I am thankful for my team that has helped me find the proper medications for me and the right amount of therapy sessions I need and the right schedule and healthy coping mechanisms I need to keep my life in balance so I can be a blessing to my family. I am thankful that Marya Hornbacker has these things too.
I checked my book out at The Longview Public Library. Buy your own copy of Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacker on Amazon.
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Madness: A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Riveting, gut-wrenching, powerful! Hornbacher is amazingly strong and I admire her honesty. I could hardly put this book down.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 11, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Life, Opinions
Coming home is a process and sometimes each day has only enough spoons for that day and not enough for coming home. My last procedure for my endometrial cancer was in August and I was told to remove my toenail polish, all my jewelry and wash from head to toe with antibacterial soap twice and wash all my bedding and clothes I would wear to bed the night before and to the hospital. I have been home 5 days from my bout with deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism but I am still not totally here…so I had to paint my toenails today.
If you aren’t chronically ill or aren’t close to someone who is, you might not know what I am talking about when I mention spoons, but basically, it is a way of talking about how much energy you have. If you are my wife, with untreated ADHD, you have many more spoons than I do. If you are a normal middle-aged woman you might have twice as many more spoons as I do…the number of spoons I have varies depending on how much pain I am in, what I did the day before, how much anxiety or depression is affecting me today and if there is something else happening that I don’t know about, like DVT or PE.
I never did repaint my toenails after my procedure in August. There have been lots of reasons why. Sometimes it is hard to come back home after being in the hospital and I just didn’t do it. But it is a vanity that makes me feel like myself and I should have done it as soon as I could sit up.
Having cancer has been not unlike any other diagnosis for me. I know it is there. I take my meds as prescribed. I drink my water. I have cut out some more of my favorite foods. (I should premise that my favorite foods have included tomatoes, pineapple, peppers, chilis, curries, and many other healthy foods). I do my exercises. I try to stay positive. I show up at the hospital when they tell me to. I planned it that way. In fact my diagnosis for arthritis bothered me more, it is not curable and it is debilitating. With cancer there is a chance it will be cured. The fact that I have cancer has made my body more susceptible to blood clots and the hormone treatments has also increased my chances at blood clots.
Enter DVT and PE…I was reading about them today. I am taking my blood thinners. Not the old, less expensive ones but the new and very expensive ones (donations can be sent via PayPal to karen@wellnessworksnw.com…I am not joking…these meds cost double what we usually spend on ALL my meds for an entire month, after insurance). We chose the new ones because the old ones have lots of side effects, I would have to come in for blood tests weekly and I would have to give up even more of my favorite foods and there aren’t many left.
My breathing has gotten much better the last two days but I am still tired really easily. The articles I read said it could take 3-6 months for my body to break down these blood clots.There is a chance my body will never break them down. That is not where my mind is going.
I had an appointment with my rheumatologist today. I like her but she is located inside PeaceHealth St John. I was very stressed while being there. I am thankful that I didn’t have a full blown anxiety attack and my blood pressure was only slightly high…I have lost 10 lbs since I was weighed on Friday…this place makes me crazy. When I checked in, the receptionist kindly asked me if I would like a wheelchair. I thanked her but told her I needed my exercise. I want these blood clots gone. I may move slow, but I am trying to get back to me.
I am glad I painted my toenails today…
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Oct 10, 2022 | About Summer, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Life, Opinions
I keep reminding myself that I am here now because it is the truth but my mind keeps slipping back to the past. I keep feeling the cords on me holding me down. I keeping hearing the beeping of the machines. I sometimes feel their hands on me holding me down and telling me not to help them because it makes it worse while they ripped my clothes off of me. I tried to tell them that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and PTSD and I needed to be heard, but their rules were more important than me. My heart rate shooting up, sweating, and my hyperventilating were part of my new condition but they were probably part of mega anxiety attacks. Why couldn’t my wife be with me? She has seen all my parts. She is a trained CNA. She grounds me.
It has been hard to try to come back to my life. I keep slipping back into recent events and very old ones. I am always telling myself: I am here now. My emotional support animal, Xavier, is here. When she is not at work, my wife, Karen G Clemenson, is here. I have my diffuser going and air isn’t cold and dry, although I am still dealing with the after effects of 6 days of cold dry air. My sinuses are killing me and I my nose bleeds all the time. I would tell the nurses about the air and they would all say the same thing: Is it?
I told my friend about some of my experiences and she asked me why I had not changed into a gown when I was in ER and I had no answer. The ER department is very different from ICU. In ER, my wife could have helped me. I was well aware that I was very sick and in need of help, it would have taken me a long time to undress and dress myself but I trust Karen, in fact she is one of the only people I do trust.
I went to PeaceHealth St John with shortness of breath and chest pain on Sunday October 2, 2022. I had been having shortness of breath since the Wednesday before and thought maybe my asthma had been flaring up, although I haven’t had a flare in years; I have arthritis in my ribs so I am also used to some pain in my chest as well. Up until that day, taking a nap helped, and by the evening the pain was a strong 7 and I couldn’t fall asleep for the pain. I finally agreed that I am not Wonder Woman and since I had never had a heart attack before, what if this was what was happening?
They took me back to a triage room right away and I was given an EKG and my stats were checked. My numbers were off and my heart rate was thready. I was taken back to a room in the ER and also given a test for COVID…which I don’t have. Eventually a doctor came in and told me he thought I was having a heart attack because my heart was creating a hormone that tells that. I was going to be given blood thinners and admitted to the ICU. Eventually a wonderful nurse was following me down the hall, which I couldn’t walk down without leaning against the wall, trying not to pass out. She was listening to what I was saying and running to get a chair. After that she talked the doctor into a CAT scan where they found that I had a large blood clot in each of my lungs. One was putting pressure on the right side of my heart and stressing it out. I wasn’t having a heart attack but that was why my heart was creating that stress hormone.
The CAT scan was terrifying. The ride to get the CAT scan was terrifying. All the lights and colors and people not talking to me, but about me. I couldn’t focus. I can’t handle being man handled. I have no doubt that this team could care for me but they weren’t talking to me or asking me questions. I had never been to this hospital for this service before. My experiences with Legacy were very different. They tell me everything and listen to me; it helps me stay calm and be part of my experience. I know the medical professionals were doing their job at PeaceHealth St John but they were only treating my body, they were not considering my mental status and they were causing me trauma after trauma.
I was trying so hard not to cry. I knew no one would care if I cried and it would only stress my lungs out more. By the time I was admitted to ICU I was a mess and that was the worst experience ever. The nurse that led my experience of moving me from one bed to the other and ripping my clothes off, while refusing to listen to me at all, brought in a fan and wanted to know if we were best friends now. I couldn’t speak. I was terrified of her. Even as she put oxygen on me, which I knew I didn’t need, I kept it on because I was afraid of her.
The next morning they brought in an ultrasound machine to look at my legs and found more blood clots in my left leg. The technician came back the next day to have a look at my heart. He could see my heart was still stressed out on the right side. That ultra sound was super uncomfortable. The skin under my breast is very soft and it got all torn up. It is still healing and very painful. He was a very nice man and that wasn’t his goal but it was another blow to my experiences…
I did have one nurse that I really loved in ICU and she was the main nurse I worked with. She helped me a lot and I really appreciated her.
Every doctor said the same thing…that my blood pressure was good and that they could find no reason for the blood clots other than a reaction to the hormone therapy I am going through to treat my endometrial cancer…that will be another adventure…all of them seemed surprised that even though I was stuck in bed I was doing exercises every day. What else was I supposed to do? I was bored and I have arthritis? Movement is the only thing that works for me. Even if I can only do the easy ones…(My oncologist did take me off the Megestrol and said we talk more on my pre-op appointment later this month).
I spent 2 days in ICU and then I was moved to a regular room. I was still confined to a bed. The doctors wanted me to have a certain amount of days with blood thinners in me before I started moving around. Just like in the ICU they insisted I try to use a bed pan. I told them my body does what she wants, but go ahead and try…and just like in the ICU I sat on that thing until I lost feeling in my rear end, with no luck. Unlike in ICU, they didn’t put a catheter in (Thank God!) but they did bring in an ultrasound to see how much fluid was in my bladder. It was fine until morning and by that time the doctor felt I could get up and walk to the toilet. Was I glad to hear that!
By Thursday I was so done. My anxiety levels were off the chart, regardless of the extra meds the doctors prescribed and my blood pressure was starting to rise to showcase that. I was starting to have bouts of deep depression that I couldn’t shake and fleeting thoughts of suicide. My blood sugars are normally right around 100-120 but they were high every time they checked and I was losing patience with anyone touching me. I actually told off a few of the people who were there to help me. I just don’t like being touched and I needed to go home. I was so happy on Friday morning when I was told the doctors finally were setting me free!
Overall most of my nurses and CNAs were amazing during my stay at the hospital. They were helpful and compassionate, for the most part, but I don’t understand some of the philosophy differences and I am frustrated that the medical profession still does not assess the whole person. I have decided that I wont be going to PeaceHealth St John for my hospital needs anymore.
I am still winded very easily but I guess my body still has not broken down the blood clots. My body doesn’t feel like my own. I am having trouble getting back into my routine. I suppose this is normal. I am still learning what to do with this condition…but I am here now…
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 30, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez starts out with an unlikely love story between a black boy and a Mexican girl but the theme of this story is loss. Loss after loss, piled on top of loss and then more loss. It shows us racism toward black people and Mexicans in a small town built only to dig for oil. The main family in the story is headed by a white man that has only known loss and can’t seem to grow beyond that lesson no matter how hard the local pastor tries to lead him.
This unlikely love story is daring, beautiful and cruel. It takes place around a real event: The New London School explosion on Thursday March 18, 1937 at 3:16 pm in New London, Texas; an all white school…except for the 3 Mexican children, Naomi, Beto and Cari, brought there by Henry Smith, Beto and Cari’s father and Naomi’s step-father.
It is well known that a local black boy, Wash, is seen regularly helping around that school to maintain the grounds. He was also there the day of the explosion. He pulled many bodies from the rubble. He was the perfect one to blame for the many losses to this community.
“Remember, son, when it comes to whites, ‘yesser, yessum’ is the only answer you know,” Chapter 6
Of course when the white people in town have suffered the loss of so many children they need someone to blame so they look to Wash, instead of facing the fact that it is just a terrible accident. No matter how hard they all try there is no setting anything right again.
I found this book in the Banned Books section at the Longview Public Library. There are a lot of tender subjects in this book and I can see why someone might not want to look so blatantly at racism, child abuse, alcoholism and other human conditions. I think Perez did a good job describing her characters and their situations. Honestly I have little personal knowledge of prejudice towards Mexican people but I was not shocked that it is very similar to how black people and Native Americans have been and are treated. I felt a lot while I read about characters that I fell in love with. I might not want to just hand this book to my teenager without a conversation, but I think it is worth reading. I think it will help compassion to grow in any reader.
You can get your own copy of Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Perez on Amazon.com.
Read my Review on Goodreads:
Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Pérez
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I could not put this book down. It had a compelling story, wonderful characters and a perfect pace that kept me engaged.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 29, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I have always wanted to read Frederick Douglass’ work but I was always put off by the look of his face. He looked like a hard man so I waited. And then I was at the library with my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and she chose Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass An American Slave and Other Writings by Frederick Douglass to come home with us and it became an option in my hand. I found that although his topic was hard, he was not. He was a pleasure to read and there was a softness, I felt to the voice I read, that might be my imagination or maybe something that was inherent to the time in which he lived, when people were mindful of their audience or possible audience.
There is nothing soft about slavery and in fact Douglass was offended in every way by it. Down to his very soul, he felt it stole the best of a man to be a slave or to be a slave holder. However this was the cultural norm and even bled over to the probable reason that the book was opened by writings by William Lloyd Garrison and Wendell Phillips, Esq., two white men, abolitionists, but white men, nonetheless.
Douglass was born in 1835 in Tuckahoe, Maryland. His father was his master and this was no secret. He had few memories of his mother as he was raised by his grandmother. It was customary to remove children from their mother by 12 month old and then give them to an old woman that could no longer work in the fields to raise them. This was the situation for Douglass as well, and although his mother would steal away to sing him to sleep at night, she was always gone, far before morning, to get back to her quarters and work, she took sick and died when he was very young.
Facts that Douglass shared about slavery:
- Brutal whippings were common.
- Masters often fathered children that had to be sold or abused by the Missus.
- Slaves had to view their master as good or “the best” or face the possibility of being sold to the worse master.
- It was illegal to teach slaves to read because it was known if they could read they would not be manageable.
- Slaves were forced to breed.
- Slaves on plantations regularly were underfed, poorly dressed and given no beds and few to no blankets, yet they would be punished for taking an apple off a tree.
- Monthly rations were given to slaves. Hungry slaves that wanted more and applied for them that could not eat them in the time the master said it should be eaten would be punished.
- Christmas to New Years Day were holidays and only animals were needed to be cared for. Masters expected slaves to use this time for drinking, dancing, playing and being silly. Masters felt that only a lazy slave would not have collected enough whiskey to stay drunk for 6 days. Slaves that would use their time to hunt, make brooms, mats, baskets or horse collars didn’t deserve days off. This fraud and inhumanity of slavery is one of many things that angered Douglass.
- City slaves were often treated better because people lived closer and nobody wanted to hear their neighbor’s slaves being whipped or see them starving and hear about it from others.
- Killing a slave held no consequences.
Douglass felt the songs slaves would sing were a testament to the soul-killing effect of slavery:
“They told the tale of woe which was then altogether beyond my feeble comprehension; they were tones found, long, and deep; they breathed the prayer and complaint of souls boiling over with the bitterest anguish. Every tone was a testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God for deliverance from chains. The hearings of those wild notes always depressed my spirit, and filled me with ineffable sadness. I have frequently found myself in tears while hearing them.” Chapter 2
When Douglass was about 7 or 8-years-old he was sent to Baltimore to live with a relative of his old master. The lady of the house had never had slaves and she was very kind. It would be Douglass’ job to care for the family’s little boy, Thomas. This is where Douglass began to learn to read, as she taught him while she was teaching Thomas, until her husband found out and put a stop to it. Yet he had learned enough that he was able to learn more through asking questions of the neighbor boys and eventually taught himself to write by tracing letters on signs. As he progressed he read anything he could get his hands on. He believed in always building his mind for his own betterment.
In 1833 Douglass was sent work for Edward Covey — a farm renter. He was known for breaking young slaves. He was there for a year. After 6 months of abuse and suicidal thoughts Douglass challenged Covey. He had become sick and instead of allowing him a break he beat him so Douglass returned to his master, who told him to go back. Without another option, Douglass returned but he would not let Covey to tie him down to beat him. Douglass fought him for 2 hours. For the rest of his stay he was not beaten. Douglass was a slave for 4 more years but he refused to be beaten. He had several fights but he was never beaten again.
September 1838 Douglass ran away from slavery and succeeded in reaching New York.
August 11, 1841 Douglass gave his first speech about slavery before abolitionists.
When asked about Christianity, Douglass had a very clear belief:
“I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt, slaveholding, women-whipping, cradle-plundering, partial and hypocritical Christianity of this land. Indeed, I can see no reason, but that most deceitful one, for calling the religion of this land Christianity…We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cow skin during the week fills the pulpit on Sunday, claims to be the minister of the meek and lowly Jesus.” Appendix
his book was not as gruesome as some of the books I have read on slavery. Douglass, himself, said that his account was only his own and he admitted that he did know that the farther south one went, the worse the experiences were and some masters were more evil than others. But what I can say, is that his account was felt more in my spirit. Douglass was very talented in making me feel tired in my spirit with this topic, possibly only a percentage of the amount as it must have made him feel exhausted to even think of it years after he was free. I also feel that his writings are still very relevant today, depending on how you view them. Maybe not slavery, perhaps, but there are groups of people that are marginalized and not cared for by our society, by people that call themselves Christians, that still don’t understand the gospel properly and leave the government to handle the job Christ left for us to handle.
I highly recommend this book and hope that the spirit in which Douglass meant for it to be experienced is appreciated by all who read it.
I checked my book out at The Longview Public Library. Buy your own copy of Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass An American Slave and Other Writings by Frederick Douglass on Amazon.
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Honest, gritty and well-written. The account and view of slavery is still relevant to our study of history today.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 28, 2022 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Life, Opinions
I am reading a book called Madness A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher right now. This book is her story about her life with Bipolar I Disorder and what she went through. I am about half way through the book and although I don’t have Bipolar Disorder I can relate to some of what she has gone through and I am thankful that I have moved beyond some of the worst parts. When I say the OTHER side of suicide, I am not talking about the side where it isn’t a concern anymore but the side where you are so depressed that you can hardly move and you just beg God to let you die.
I have never been institutionalized but I probably should have been. By the grace of God and a couple of friends that understood that I had been rejected enough in life, that that is how I would have taken them calling the hospital and it would have broken me more, I was able to fight my way back. Not everyone can say that. Not everyone can do that. I am a very blessed woman and I know that and believe it with all my heart.
If you don’t know this kind of pain, I am so grateful to God. No one should hurt like this. Some people have it done to them and some people have it inside of them. I had a little of both but not to the extremes of the woman in this book. Hornbacher’s seems to be all internal and what the fight she had, every day. I empathize with her and am so proud of the fight she put up, even though it looks like failure, I don’t see it that way. She was doing what she knew, until she knew better.
This is what people do. We do what we know until we know better. This is why I am so diligent to keep my head as clear as I can. Why I am very protective of my schedule, my habits, my boundaries and my family. I have three pill sorters I take pills from every day on timers. I am a little rebellious but never an hour or 2 beyond the alarm that reminds me to take my pills, that I have promised to take every day, because Karen does not deserve the wrath that she gets if I don’t take them. I haven’t had an alcoholic beverage since before COVID…I think it was on a birthday and when I do have one it will be one, and with food, and definitely after my body is clear of cancer. I have recently allowed myself 1 cup of Lady Gray tea this week with breakfast. That is my allotment of caffeine. I now drink decaf Americanos with extra cream at Red Leaf and even that is 1-2 per week. I drink lots of water or herb tea. I exercise. I see my therapist and psychiatrist as scheduled. I listen to music all day. I read a lot, books and online for news. The TV only comes on after 7 pm, when my wife, Karen G Clemenson thinks I can handle it and then we watch shows that don’t stress me out (definitely not the news). I go to bed between 11-12:30 every night.
I am boring because being on schedule helps me keep my balance. When I am off balance I become anxious, fearful, and easily set off and nobody likes that Summer, especially me. My diagnoses are PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, OCD and Depression. I have blue days and I have days where I need things just so (I think Karen really hates those day, they bug me too). I have trouble with yelling voices, people that remind me of certain people and small spaces, wet fabric, bugs, phones and conflict. I am terrified of earthquakes, Donald Trump (although I can finally say his name without hyperventilating) and small-minded people although I know I have a tendency to be one and if you give me a minute I will remember that and will come back to listen to you after I have shut you off because I hate that about myself and I don’t want to leave you feeling unheard.
Being on the OTHER side of suicide is complete emptiness. You aren’t hungry. You aren’t thirsty. You don’t want to sleep but you do to kill time and hope you wake up feeling better or maybe not at all. You don’t want anything except for God to bring you home. You hurt so bad that you are numb and you just want it to end and you see no end in sight. There is nothing anyone can do to fix it. No one needs to worry about hiding any weapons, you have no energy to cause yourself any harm. It lasts as long as it lasts until one day you decide to take a shower…
I can’t forget Karen’s eyes during an episode, about 6 years ago. I don’t really remember what she was saying to me but I remember her eyes. Her eyes were saying: Don’t leave me. I think her mouth was saying, “You can’t let them do this anymore.” It was before I had begun to agree with the therapists that I should separate from my parents. Any interaction with them, lost 2 weeks for me. I could barely get out of bed to wash my face. My personal hygiene is paramount to me so if I miss even a day, you know it is bad. Nothing could rouse me, no music, no favorite food, no visitor, nothing. I would just stare at a wall, being tormented by their words, over and over again. I could never understand why they didn’t ever care about how their words and actions hurt me. I could never fathom that they didn’t understand that I was their victim. I was always left last.
Now I know they have their own hurts and troubles. But I am responsible for me. It is not their fault that when I see them, I am reminded of a Summer that no longer exists, except for with them and she is not the best of me. She is broken, hurting and doesn’t know how to take care of herself. They have never seen the best of me. I have probably never seen the best of them either. This makes me sad because I know we are all amazing people, if we could get past our hurts.
I like being on the side of suicide that I reside on now. Suicide isn’t an issue for me most of the time and when it whispers through my mind I can talk to God, maybe mention it to Karen or my sister, Jamie Holloway and it goes away. But that is because I have chosen to live a wellness lifestyle and that includes being mindful and not afraid of my mental illness, which is chronic and will need to be cared for for the rest of my life. It isn’t like a cold. It is like fibromyalgia. It will always be here too. Sometimes it wont bother me much and other times it will flare up and sometimes it will flare bigger. Meaning I will have to be more mindful and let myself rest more to regain my balance.
Is there loss? Yes, sort of. The sense of normalcy I want is gone because I had to embrace my actual normalcy. My actual normalcy is that I live in a body that hurts and a mind that gets overwhelmed if I am not careful with her. She needs me to be diligent with how I feed her and water her, move her, how I stimulate her and grow her. She is a chronic body and mind and I am in charge of her and if I fail her, I will pay the price so I must embrace wellness with a smile and not worry about things I can’t change and work on what I can change which are only in the realm of my reach.
It is good to be reminded of how far I have come. Reading Madness A Bipolar Life by Marya Hornbacher is a good reminder. I don’t miss the manic moments and especially the moments on the OTHER side of suicide. I hope I am never get there again. But I understand people struggling and I think that is why I find people living with mental illness to be amazingly strong people. They have a burden only they can see and they are doing the best they can with something that is hard to describe and even harder to diagnose and properly treat. I think as we become more educated, we need to stop casually using some words. Like, Karen, when she feels overtaxed tells me she is crazy. I told her last night, that is untrue and she should probably stop saying that, when in fact she is overwhelmed and needs a nap. As a community, we should be more compassionate of people who have a battle that wont be fixed by a nap but also don’t want to be called crazy, they just need to find the person that can help them diagnose the real problem in their mind so they can begin the healing process.
What do you think?
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 27, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
For years I have been hearing about The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I first heard about the movie and, in reality, it sounded so much like a similar movie, that I sometimes enjoy to watch with Keanu Reaves and Sandra Bullock, that I decided I didn’t need to bother watching the movie version of The Time Traveler’s Wife. But I was reading The Reading List and although it wasn’t on the actual reading list, one of the main characters was reading the book and it so I added it to my To Read list…and then I started seeing the name of the book everywhere. When my wife, Karen G Clemenson, and I were at the library, the Saturday before last, it literally was on the wall, right at my eye level and I took at as a sign that I should read this book.
The main characters are Henry and Clare who meet when Henry is 36 and Clare is 6 years old. They are in the meadow on the property of her parent’s home in Indiana. Henry is naked and hungry. When he announces himself, she is scared and throws her shoes at him. Bleeding, he asks to borrow the beach towel she has with her and promises not to hurt her. He tells her he has lost his clothes and that he is a time traveler. After a few rounds of conversation they end up sharing the Hershey’s bar in her pocket.
Henry was born with a Chrono-Displacement Disorder diagnosed by a molecular geneticist by the name of Dr. David Kendrick, when he is an adult, yet his parents have taken him to doctors many times throughout his childhood. Henry’s mom passed when he was 6-years-old. She was decapitated in a car accident. This was the 2nd time Henry time traveled. It was Christmas Eve. Henry’s father was a violinist. He was also an alcoholic. He was miserable after his wife died. At 57, his nerves are shot and he can no longer perform. The neighbor Mrs. Kim, known as Kimy was Henry’s main nurturer. Throughout most of the book this is the meat of what we learn about Henry’s past to help us understand the troubled parts of his personality.
Most of the story takes place in Chicago where Henry was born and raised.
Throughout Clare’s life, Henry pops in at different ages. From the moment they met there is a strong connection. Henry is careful to never give Clare information about the future or even of himself. Instead they work on her school work, visit and keep things platonic.
When they are finally in present day together; Clare is 22 and Henry is 30, they are married and the story goes on. Henry continues to time travel. He has no control over when he will leave or how long he will be gone, or what will happen to him while he is gone. This is strain on their marriage. I have to say the time traveling thing was a handicap for me. I just couldn’t believe it and it made it hard for me to believe the story. I am a very literal person. But what I did believe, and this is a testament to Niffenegger, is the relationship. Henry and Clare were real to me. They were friends. They were lovers. They wanted the best for each other. They left room for growth. They left room for failure and forgiveness. They were the best versions of themselves they could be for each other. I could relate to them, if not for the make-believe genetic illness Henry and their eventual child had.
This was not my favorite book. I gave it 3 stars because the topic was too sci-fi for me but the writing was wonderful and the characters were well-rounded and very human. I was very disappointed with the end. The author most definitely made sure that Clare being more happy with a few minutes of wonderful rather than a lifetime of nothing special was her way until the end. Henry had so little joy in his life and so much gut wrenching horror, at least he had Clare, while he did.
I checked my copy out at The Longview Public Library. You can get your own copy of The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger on Amazon.com.
Read my Review on Goodreads:
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I wasn’t sold on the time traveling DNA…but I loved Henry and Clare’s relationship. Great character development.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 24, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Life, Opinions
Culture, Technology, Leadership, Education, Political Correctness: these are some of the numerous subjects that William Deresiewicz tackles in The End of Solitude. His book of 42 essays spanning over 30 years on topics that will make you think and probably cause you to consider to change your mind, if you are inclined.
Culture
“Culture involves art, literature, philosophy, criticism and religion…Culture also involves the things we do and believe without being aware we are doing or believing them: Myths, metaphors, social terms, unspoken assumptions, the words we use…culture is the inner substance of every day by which we question continually our stock notions and habits.
In politics we ask foundational questions with no real answers — the system is designed this way so people have the right to organize society as they see fit.” Chapter 4 — Culture Against Culture
Technology
Technology can be a gift but it can also be the bane of our society because it abolishes what is most human. Although technology has given us more options it has also created a loss a sense of our self, of our solitude. The fact that we can live farther from our families means we spend less time together. Children are babysat by screens instead of playing and learning with their friends, while social media has stolen our ability for intimacy and privacy. We have lost our ability to concentrate, our ability to be alone or to be quiet with our self, which is vital to a healthy spiritual life, to reading a book or even the art of writing letters. Chapter 1 — The End of Solitude
Leadership
“We have a crisis of leadership in this country, because our overwhelming power and wealth, earned under earlier generations of leaders has made complacent, and for too long we have been training leaders who only know how to keep the routine going. Who can answer questions, but don’t know how to ask them. Who can meet goals, but don’t know how to set them. Who think about how to get things done, not whether they’re worth doing in the first place. What we have now are the greatest technocrats the world has ever seen…What we don’t have are leaders.” Chapter 2 — Solitude of Leadership
We need more:
- Thinkers
- People with vision
- Moral courage
- Concentration – no multi-tasking
- Solitude
- Introspection
- Deep friendships of intimate conversation
Education
“60% of The United States working class of poor are white and will never have a chance at an elite education.” Chapter 12 — Change Your Mind First: College and the Urge to Save the World
For a long time educators have been leaning more toward science and math and not encouraging liberal arts. We are able to understand pushing students to study law, medicine, science or business but we are not encouraging the creative people to thrive and we need them. Elite schools are known for teaching their brightest and best for excluding people and teaching their students that they are part of the club of elite for life. They will be rich, they will have extensions whenever they need them and they will be set apart in society. Chapter 8 — The Disadvantages of an Elite Education
This explains our politicians…
Political Correctness
Political Correctness is the persistent attempt to suppress the expression of unwelcome beliefs and ideas. But many young people, today, don’t feel they can express themselves because they are afraid of offending or being offensive. Did you know that PC was actually a form of self-mockery, in response to stalinism?
Political Correctness has been used against:
- Nontenured teachers
- Christians
- Zionists (Jews)
- White male athletes
- White students from red states
- Heterosexual, cisgendered, white men from anywhere
Chapter 11 — On Political Correctness
I, personally don’t care for being PC. I like being honest, but compassionate..Maybe that is because I have drastically cut down my use of technology in the last few years…
In Summation…
I would suggest your bring an open mind to this book. In chapter 12 Deresiewicz says:<
“If you don’t know yourself — if you haven’t become visible to yourself — you don’t know the biases with which you know everything else, you also don’t know the motives that move you to action.”
I really enjoyed this book. At times I found myself overwhelmed with the thoughts Deresiewicz’s words invoked in me but I overcame and prevailed. This books is full of essays on social media, content, architecture, dance, painting, poetry, writing, thought, culture, food, politics, academia, and religion. There is bound to be something that makes you think, makes you angry or brings you to peace, or all three.
“A healthy identity for the group as for the individual, is not rigid and immutable, but creative and ever-evolving. That is progress. That is liberation.” Chapter 38 – Birthrights
Thank you to my sister, Jamie Holloway, for loaning me this book. You can get your own copy of The End of Solitude by William Deresiewicz on Amazon.com
Read my Review on Goodreads:
The End of Solitude: Selected Essays on Culture and Society by William Deresiewicz
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Thought provoking on many topics. Great read.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 18, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I went to the library yesterday with my wife, Karen G Clemenson. I really hadn’t intended to pick up any books for myself because I have a huge to-read pile at home but, of course I found 3 books that caught my eye and Yellow Wife by Sadeqa Johnson was one of them. I had seen it on Amazon and Goodreads and I wanted to read it and was excited to find it on the New Books pile. I started reading it before I even checked it out because, in the past, new books had shorter check out times but I guess that has changed, but since I read it all day and into the early morning, they can have it back tomorrow anyway…Yes. This book was a page turner! The characters were really believable and the author kept the story moving so it was hard to put the book down.
The story starts out on the Bell Plantation in Charles City, Virginia in 1850. The main character is a young girl, nearing the age of 18, named Pheby. She is the daughter of a slave and the Massa. When his sister was alive Pheby had been taught to read and to do math, play the piano and loved like a daughter; Pheby had been promised that when she was 18, the Massa would take her to a girl’s school in Massachusetts for a grand education and set free.
“White folks’ promises ain’t but dust. Specially the white folks called Massa,” she stood up and hissed over her shoulder, “The blood ones hurt you most.” Chapter 6; Aunt Hope to Pheby
Aunt Hope is the cook on the plantation; just one of the many colorful characters. Unfortunately the Missus knows that Pheby is the Massa’a child and she hates her. When her personal slave dies, she makes Pheby her personal servant and treats her unfavorably. As Massa takes Pheby’s mother with him on a trip to trade farm goods where there is a terrible accident that leads to both of their deaths, this is a turning point for Pheby that leads to her being sold off the plantation.
“I curse you and all of you unborn children in the name of my grandmother, Queen Vinnie Brown. May all your worst fears come to pass, and all the evil you do come back on your tenfold. This plantation will be your living hell. Mark my words.” I spit on the ground, bracing myself for her to march down the stairs and slap me. But she stood as if stunned. Chapter 9, Pheby to Missus Dephina
Although Pheby has been protected and hasn’t worked as hard as other slaves, she has been educated and she is able think and make decisions that help her in the next part of her life. She was brought to The Lapier Jail in Richmond, Virginia, otherwise known as The Devil’s Half Acre, where she was purchased by the owner, Rubin Lapier, to be his mistriss. He was an evil man and Pheby had to always keep her whits about her and make hard choices in order to keep herself and her children safe.
That is what this book is about; survival. Not just about personal survival but history. One thing that Pheby’s mother had passed onto her, that she passed onto her children, and to other slaves was that they were only slaves in their body but not their mind. In their mind they were free. In actuality Pheby was the descendant of Queen Vinnie Brown and she shared this with her children as a point of pride. I myself don’t know if I am a descendant of royalty but I do believe that no matter what can be done to my body, I agree, my mind is as free as I let it be, so this message was very empowering for me.
There was a lot of graphic violence in this book, as would be expected in a book that was focused on slavery. Sadeqa Johnson does an amazing job using words to describe beautiful things and then change over to horrifying scenes. I would not hand this book to my 13-year-old without careful consideration and a conversation, but it is a powerful book and I appreciate the time she put into researching for her novel.
I checked my book out at The Longview Public Library. Buy your own copy of Yellow Wife by Sadeqa Johnson on Amazon.
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Yellow Wife by Sadeqa Johnson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Great characters, very believable! Couldn’t put it down…I read it from the time I got it from the library until the wee hours of the morning. Such strength and courage! Very graphic but very powerful.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 11, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I think it is safe to say that most people know who Betty White was and so her book If You Ask Me (And of Course You Wont) might not be a stretch to want to read. It was a delightful read and really brought my spirits up and let me rest a bit to just enjoy a light read while the world kept doing what it does.
White was blunt in her communication and her writing reminds me of my sister, Jamie Holloway.
“Bets, you can lie to anyone in the world and even get away with it, perhaps, but when you are alone and look into your own eyes in the mirror, you can’t sidestep the truth. Always be sure you can meet those eyes directly. Otherwise, it’s big trouble, my girl.” Tess White, Betty White’s mother
…I think she got her honest ways from her mother.
White loved animals, all kinds. Some of her earliest memories are in the saddle with her father in the California Sierras where she also learned to love nature. What White really wanted to be when she grew up was a park ranger or a zookeeper, but those jobs weren’t available to women at the time she came of age. She was really overwhelmed with joy when she became an honorary ranger in 2010 by the U.S. Department of Agriculture Forest Service.
“If you life without passion, you can go through life without living any foot prints.” Chapter 6
Betty White believed in being honest and hard working. She needed little sleep and loved her work. Her career spans from 1949 until her death in 2021. Some of her most famous shows were: The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mama’s Family, The Golden Girls, The Proposal, Hot in Cleveland, and Hosting SNL.
Betty White wrote that she loved writing because she could do it in her socks on the couch with her dog. Her writing is like a long and friendly conversation. I read her book in one sitting. I highly recommend reading this book and I think I will seek out her other books.
Other Documentation:
Buy your own copy of If You Ask Me (And of Course You Wont) by Betty White on Amazon
Read My Review on GoodReads:
If You Ask Me by Betty White
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I really enjoyed this book! Betty White is a joy! Her honesty is refreshing. She was a well-respected specialist in her art, but also in her love for nature preservation and animal advocacy. This book was an easy read and I would enjoy reading it again.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 6, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
Do you ever just need to read something that makes you feel inspired? Well this book does it! Dream More by Dolly Parton was based on a commencement speech Parton was asked to give at the University of Tennessee in 2009; it was everything she didn’t get to say.
As part of the Dollywood Foundation their mission is to inspire children to: dream more, learn more, care more and be more. This is something that Parton, hopes that we all do.
“Well, I always pray that I have enough to share and some to spare. And so far, God has obliged me.” Dolly Parton, Chapter 2
You don’t want to confuse dreams with wishes; there is a difference. Dreams are where you visualize yourself being successful at what’s important to you. Dreams build convictions and you work hard to pay the price for success. Wishes are just hopes without passion.
Dolly works very hard and she attributes this to watching her father work very hard. Having 12 children to feed, she watched him work very hard to care for his family. She is proud of how hard he worked for his family, knowing he could never afford a day off. Dolly, herself, requires very little sleep and works long hours, giving her all to her dreams and her team.
Strong work ethic is vital. When you learn more, it becomes easier to learn so Parton encourages everyone to learn more. You must learn more before you jump on a new dream.
Being a happy person makes everything easier:
- love what you do
- like yourself
- enjoy other people: their company, their ideas, their personalities
- keep a good spiritual grip on things
- always pray for understanding and acceptance
Trust leads to respect. “When respect is gone, the biggest part of love dies.” Chapter 3
Caring is about striving for perfection. There are a lot of people that do just enough but that is not good enough.
“Being more is about following the Golden Rule and bringing into your life a commitment to be fair, generous and compassionate to everybody.” Dolly Parton, Chapter 4
When we go through down times its like God telling us to slow down and take inventory. You should always listen to that God core and care for others and the you truly will be something special.
Reading this book was a refreshing change of pace. It was an easy read. I read it in one sitting but I enjoyed listening to how much Parton loved her family. When her father told her how proud he was of her, once, she thought it was for a song she wrote or a movie she was in. When he told her it was because she was known as The Book Lady, she was really touched. She knew her father was smart, but he had never learned to read and she knew how important it was to him that she had a hand in helping children be more.
I highly recommend this book.
Other Documentation:
Dolly Parton Delivers Commencement Address at the University of Tennessee 2009 by University of Tennessee, Knoxville, May 14, 2009
Buy your own copy of Dream More by Dolly Parton on Amazon
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Dream More by Dolly Parton
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Dolly Parton is an honest and hardworking person that strives to encourage people to live their dreams. This book was an easy and refreshing read.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 4, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
Think Like a Horse by Grant Golliher is an inspirational book for anyone, regardless of whether they are trying to run a large company or a happy home.
Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult.
People are like horses in that you can’t corner them and expect them to trust you — you need to create an environment where they feel safe. You need to be patient and consistent and give them the freedom to choose.
How to create a safe space:
- Set clear boundaries
- Show patience
- Show humility
- Show transparency
- Show a slowness to judge
- Have compassion for wounds we can’t see
Horses and people that don’t have a safe space will not feel safe, they will feel defensive, which they may show in many ways that wont be very productive. So whether you are in the board room or you need to move some cattle, you want your people or horses to feel safe.
Having Feel – knowing when someone or a horse is ready to share something and also knowing when to be quiet. Having feel helps you know how to push or wait, depending on the moment.
Honor the slightest try and the smallest change.
Forgiveness is a choice that not everyone can choose…but making the choice is important to your health.
Like children, when horses are not taught boundaries they will become spoiled, pushy and difficult to handle.
People who have clear boundaries are more comfortable in social settings.
“The power of a boundary is that it is voluntarily honored — and doing so establishes a relationship of mutual respect.” Chapter 14
Boundaries + Consequences + Freedom to choose = Respect
Be slow to take and quick to give.
Horses, like people, know when you really trust them or respect their power to choose or not. If you treat your horse like a slave he will do what he has to do, but he will resent it. If you haven’t established a bond with your horses, they might let you catch them in the corral because they feel like they don’t have a choice but they will leave you the first chance they get. If your relationship relies on force rather than free choice, it is not really a partnership.
If you get thrown because your horse stepped in a hole, your horse will go to what he is loyal to. If he is your partner, he will stay with you as long as you need him. If you have not earned his respect, he will go where he feels safe, to the barn where his food is. Chapter 15
Always quit on a good note.
“Humility isn’t denying your strengths; it’s being honest about your weaknesses,” Rick Warren, Chapter 12
When you are working on growth it is always good to stop when you are able to say, “Good job.” Everyone likes to be appreciated.
I would like to thank my sister, Jamie Holloway for loaning me this copy of Think Like a Horse by Grant Golliher. If you would like to read her review make sure to check out JamieChasesButterflies.com.
Buy your own copy of Think Like a Horse by Grant Golliher on Amazon.
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Think Like a Horse: Lessons in Life, Leadership, and Empathy from an Unconventional Cowboy by Grant Golliher
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This book took me on a ride I wasn’t anticipating, mainly because of where I am in my life. This book is deeply compelling to those who are healing from emotional neglect. Golliher is a compassionate and good man towards his horses and the people he serves. I enjoyed his authenticity.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 26, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions
I have been working on my mental health most of my life. The first time I saw a counselor was when I was 5-years-old. I wasn’t handling the death of my great-grandmother well, so I began seeing the school counselor. I was never a stranger to the school counselor. Once out of school, I saw therapists off and on throughout the years but I really started digging deep when I was 25-years-old with my pastor. Since then I have been to many therapists. My current therapist specializes in trauma and she began using the term Emotional Neglect Survivor with me about a year ago and suggested the book Running on Empty Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD with Christine Mussello, PsyD.
To take Emotional Neglect Questionnaire go online to:
/https://drjonicewebb.com/cen-questionnaire/
I didn’t take the test until I had finished reading the book, which I have to say I fought with. Not because it was hard to read, because it wasn’t. It was as if all the work I had been doing for the last 26 years was stuffed into 229 pages and there were proper words put into some of what I had been working through. After sitting with my thoughts for a day, I think it was just hard to know this. I am not surprised that I got 16 out of 22 on the questionnaire.
The Ordinary Healthy Parent in Action:
-
- Parent feels an emotional connection to the child.
- Parent pays attention to the child and sees him as a unique and separate person, rather than an extension of the parent, a possession or a burden.
- Using the parent/child emotional connections and paying attention, the parent responds competently to the child’s emotional needs.
I had to force myself to pay attention to the reading for the first two chapters. My natural tendency to dissociate was strong as I read. I know I have always been loved but my parents did not have all the tools they needed.
Being an extension or having the feeling of ownership was commonly felt or seen as I grew up in my family. Often I felt I was a burden, an extension and a possession. I did not express my needs because at my father’s house, he thought my mother was taking care of me and at my mother’s house, she was too overwhelmed. I got my first job at 10-years-old and began buying what I could for myself. I also helped with bills, car repairs and insurance before I was even out of high school. I was not asked. I bought expensive gifts for my sisters, who were treated more preferably. I bought gifts for my mother, for my sisters to give to her. I definitely had an extreme sense of responsibility.
When my father left, I was expected to do a lot of what he did: repairs, I could manage, holding the door for my mother, care of my sisters, who were only 3 and 5 years younger than me. I also had to learn to clean and cook at age 9 years. My sisters were taught to overlook me. I was called names and yelled at and never defended, unless I fell apart. All of this has been flooding back as I read this book. Mental health care is not for the weak.
Types of Emotional Neglectful Parents:
-
- The Narcissistic Parent – They see their kids as extensions of themselves and not separate people. The needs of the children are defined by the needs of the parent and when the child expresses their needs they are accused of being selfish or inconsiderate.
- The Authoritarian Parent – Children are expected to obey without explanation or any exception for individual needs, temperament or feelings of individual children.
- The Permissive Parent – Provides no limits, structure or a strong adult presence against which the child can relate against.
- The Bereaved Parent – Divorced or Widowed and desperately trying to cope while grieving.
- The Addicted Parent – Compulsive behaviors that effect time, behavior and resources. While parents are engaged in addictive behaviors they are not actively parenting. They are like 2 people.
- The Depressed Parent – Tends to disappear, they are turned inward, focused themselves and what is wrong with themselves, worried about if they will make it. Children don’t know how to get positive attention. Bad behavior, at least gets some attention.
- The Workaholic Parent – Often driven, successful people that work long hours and are obsessed by their jobs and tend to not pay attention to the needs and feelings of their children.
- The Parent with a Special Needs Family Member – Care-giving parents are always in crisis mode and adults responsibilities are often put on the child even if unintentionally.
- The Achievement/Perfection Focused Parent – Pressures their child to be perfect and achieve what the parent wants, maybe because they expect perfection from themselves or they are living vicariously through their child, or maybe because they were raised the same way and that is what they know.
- The Sociopathic Parent – Feels no guilt or empathy. Other people’s feelings are meaningless because they can’t feel them. If they can control you, they may feel love for you, but if they can’t, they may despise you, be a bully or play the victim.
- Child as Parent – Child must behave as a parent to themselves, siblings and even to parent in extreme cases. This is common in families with hardships like death, divorce, financial, addiction, mental illness or chronic illness.
- The Well-Meaning-but-Neglected-Themselves-Parent – Parents that weren’t raised in homes where emotions were acknowledged or dealt with properly often don’t know how to foster this in their children even though they love their children. They simply recreate their own childhood experiences.
I can’t in good conscience call this article a book review, although I am sharing good information from the book, I am also sharing my honest responses, which believe it or not, are censored. This makes this an honest opinion piece. Because of divorce, I was raised with 3 parents. Because of their idiosyncrasies, my parents, from my perspective, fit 9 of the 12 types of ENPs and in reality if someone were to ask my siblings their feelings, they might come up with a different number that is lessor or greater than mine because we had different parents, depending on the situation and who’s house we were in.
The most important type of parent, and the point that is frequently brought up throughout the book, which I really appreciate is The Well-Meaning-but-Neglected-Themselves-Parent. Fostering good emotions is a very new concept. I had what I needed, not a lot, but I had a roof over my head, enough food and clothes, shoes, I had toys and a bike. Some of my things were nicer than some of my friends, some of my things weren’t but I was satisfied. What I didn’t have and always missed was a connection with my parents and although I was always trying to get them to turn off the TV or listen to me, or do something I wanted to do, or even just let me tell my side of the story before they yelled at my for something I didn’t do, how were they able to do that, when that wasn’t shown to them by my grandparents? How could they model something they never saw because my grandparents never saw it?
In reality I am only 3 generations in The United States of America on both sides of my family. My family are immigrants and pioneers. They are workers. They didn’t have time for emotions. How can I hold that against them? I don’t. But I do have to look at me and fix me so that I can have a conversation with my father and not scream obscenities at him because my PTSD got triggered when he accused me of something my siblings told him I did, that if I did, is none of his business because we are all adults now, but I felt like a powerless child and the only words I could come up with are the ones he uses when he gets angry…which are not even ones I use. What a mess.
Do you see why fostering healthy emotions in ourselves and our children is important? I do!
The Neglected Child, All Grown Up May Feel:
-
- Feelings of Emptiness
- Counter-Dependence or the fear of being dependent on anyone
- Unrealistic Self-Appraisal
- No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others
- Guilt & Shame – What is wrong with me?
- Self-Directed Anger or Self Blame
- The Fatal Flaw (If People Really Knew Me They Wont Like Me)
- Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others
- Poor Self-Discipline
- Alexithymia or not knowing how you feel or being able to put words to your emotions
As adults we need to work on these in ourselves because we will pass these same traits onto our children. Because we didn’t know is a good excuse, but now we do so we need to start working on being better so our kids will be healthier, more productive and happier.
Suicidal Feelings
In 2007 there were 34,598 suicides, that is 95 per day. There are 1,045 suicide attempts every day.
Some Reasons for Suicide:
-
- Response to a negative event, like public failure or humiliation
- Avoid consequences
- Mental illness
- Any number of other reasons
Emptiness or numbness is worse than pain.
Common Traits of Suicidal People:
-
- Emptiness and numbness
- Suffering in silence
- Questioning the meaning and value of their life (what is the point of living)
- Escape fantasy
From the time I was 16-years-old, until I was about 25-year-old I was tortured by thoughts of suicide. Mostly it was emptiness, wanting the pain to stop, feeling like I had no choices, extreme feelings of fear and anxiety or flashbacks. It got better for a while and then came back after a terrible break up when I was 29 and then when I married Karen G Clemenson it left. I sometimes have fleeting thoughts but I tell Karen or Jamie Holloway about it. We discuss the situation and usually there is a trigger and just finding the trigger stops the feeling for me. Most recently, I hardly have to tell them any more. I can tell them I went through the process as an afterthought. Growth is awesome.
If you or someone you know are struggling with feelings of suicidal thoughts please seek help.
Go to: https://988lifeline.org/ or dial 988 for help today.
So when you realize that you are Running on Empty you have to Fill the Tank…
Factors That Get in the Way of Successful Change:
-
- False Expectations
- Avoidance
- Discomfort – change is scary
It is important to to understand that Feelings Matter and What To Do With Your Feelings:
-
- Understand the purpose and value of emotions
- Identify and name your feelings
- Learn to self-monitor your feelings
- Accept and trust your feelings
- Learn to express your feelings effectively
- Recognize and understand and value emotions in relationships
For every emotion there is a purpose. Emotions are our feedback system.
-
- Fear tells us to escape or preserve ourself.
- Anger pushes us to fight back or protect ourself.
- Love drives us to care for our spouse, children or others.
- Passion drives us to procreate, create and invent.
- Hurt pushes us to correct a situation.
- Sadness tells us we are losing something important.
- Compassion pushes us to help others.
- Disgust tells us to avoid something.
- Curiosity drives us to explore and learn.
In a healthy relationship you are able to say something like: When you don’t respond to my messages or invite me to events, I feel rejected. If the person cares about you, they will probably make an effort to respond better to you. In an unhealthy relationship the person will probably become defensive. I have experienced both. I don’t give my time to the latter group anymore. When I was told I was the only one with the problem, it took me a while to realize they weren’t going to change but eventually, as I learned to value myself, I chose to not choose to be rejected anymore.
I now choose to give my time to people that make time for me, that validate me and support me and show that they see me as an individual. I am seeing more growth in myself and a lot more peace. I also have more to give to my friends and adopted family.
Self-Care
-
- Nurturing yourself:
– putting yourself first
– learning to say no
– asking for help
– discover likes and dislikes
– put higher priority on personal enjoyment
– eating well
– exercise
– rest and relaxation
- Improve self-discipline
- Self-soothing:
– bubble bath
– long hot shower
– listening to music
– cook or bake
– spend time with pet
– detail car
– play with kids
– exercise
– go for a walk
– play an instrument
– enjoy essential oils
– call a friend
– cloud watch
– clean
– got to the movies
– look out the window
– meditate
– positive self-talk
- Have compassion for yourself
- Allow yourself to be human
Self-care is really important and it can be difficult to build a routine but be patient with yourself. Start with one new habit at a time. I have been working for years to create better habits for myself. I fail, forgive myself, and I start over all the time. It part of being human.
I am not a parent yet. I hope to foster or adopt in the future. This is part of what fuels my fervent search for peace in myself. I promised myself I would never become a parent unless I could give my children what I didn’t have, emotional stability, involved parents and peace. Right now we are still working on financial stability which does play a part in emotional stability. I am lucky that I have a partner that wants peace and communication as much as I do.
For people that have children and want to end the cycle there are very helpful techniques listed in the book. There is also a section for professionals and resources. Running on Empty is a very easy to read but hard to digest in one sitting book, meaning you may need to take it in bites. It is painful to read some of the truths in this book if you aren’t ready for them. Change is hard, like I said, but it is worth it. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is trying to find what is missing inside themselves.
Buy your own copy of Running on Empty Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD with Christine Mussello, PsyD on Amazon.
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Read My Review on GoodReads:
Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This was an important book to read for me. Although I have been working on the things spoken of in this book for about 26 years, many of the principles didn’t have names. Emotional Neglect is a term I only heard in the last year or so with my current therapist, who suggested I read this book. Although I had to force myself to not dissociate while I read the first 2 chapters and I struggled through other parts of the book, I believe that too is important to my growth.
I love that the author states that most of us are Emotional Neglect survivors because no one knew to foster healthy emotions in their children, so while it was my parent’s responsibility to do this, it is easy for me to have compassion for them too, because they couldn’t teach me what they didn’t know. In a world we are quick to lay blame, I think this viewpoint is healthy in helping us take responsibility for our wellness now.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 25, 2022 | Food, Life, Opinions
Sometimes you get to choose your dinner and sometimes you eat what you have. I am calling our meal tonight A Lentil Party Dinner because I can. It sounds fun and there are ingredients I am only used to seeing at a party in our meal because a friend gave them to us and I am grateful and didn’t want to be wasteful so I got creative.
Unlike most of my posts that are pretty well thought out, this one is off the cuff so it will have more candor. Maybe we will have more fun. I have been trying to change things up in the last week because I have become bored with the every day things that must be done, but I realize they don’t have to be done the same way. This means my workouts have taken different forms, I have let myself sleep more and my meals are random and smaller most of the time. Today I did a Gua Sha massage on my left leg with my rose quartz stone, that Jamie Holloway gave me. I used Balance and Aroma Touch and focused on deep breathing and thought about how I love myself and how Jamie loves me, when I looked at the stone. These massages hurt a lot but they help with my lymphedema and I could tell by the end that the shape of my leg was different and the color of my skin was better. Self-care is very important.
Eating is part of self-care. It is important to try to bring balance to our diet. Regardless of your food philosophy, or beliefs, proper nutrition is vital to loving yourself. Although I consider Little Smokies and Cream Cheese to be party foods, I do see they have some value and they are not without a level of fun to a regular diet. By no means, are we perfect in our diet plan. Karen G Clemenson and I are both living with sugar addiction that we try to keep at bay, but we regularly enjoy desert, in reasonable servings.
So where is the fun, I promised? I don’t know. I just finished reading a very emotional book and I just didn’t want to write a book review yet. So I thought I would share with you how I cleaned out our pantry items and a few odds and ends to make a yummy stew…We are very lucky that with the car repairs that we have had to endure, that we have had friends that have helped us. We were not expecting this level of expense. We were not expecting to go almost 2 weeks without the car. Both of these things have made life more of a challenge. Literally there have been times that I was about to explode and my eye caught a scripture that I happened to write on a note card and taped to the wall, at some point, that was perfect for that moment. Let me tell you, God is good all the time.
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
2 Corinthians 2:14
So…anyway here is what I did to make A Lentil Party Dinner…
I chopped up:
- 3 onions
- 4 carrots
- 4 celery stalks
- 2 zuccini
- 2 packages of little smokies
…and added each item to the crock pot on high to get them going with some olive oil, salt and pepper.
Then I rinsed a bag of lentils and added them to the crock pot along with:
- a box of Organic Beef Bone Broth
- a package of Cream Cheese chopped up
- a few cubes of gluten free beef and chicken bullion (to taste)
- enough water to level it off
After about an hour, I reduced heat to low, gave a good stir and tasted the broth, then added:
- Pepper (to taste)
- Garlic powder (to taste)
- Italian Seasoning (to taste)
Then I left it alone for several hours…I got some cleaning done and took a nap.
I was careful to not add a lot of salt to this dish. The Little Smokies and the Cream Cheese have a lot of sodium, as well as the Bone Broth and bouillon and it did not need it. The Smokies gave the whole pot a huge amount of smokiness and the Cream Cheese gave a creaminess to the broth. It was wonderful.
…we also got a good blend of vegetables which are full of nutrients and fiber (which my primary doctor is very adamant that I need), and some good vegetable protein, while having a fun stew that is filling…it is also very gaseous…I forgot to add bay leaves when cooking…Bay Leaves usually help and they also have a lot of health benefits…
I was so thankful for my blend of Essential Oils I use to help with gas…Contact Me if you want me to give you my recipe…even the peppermint tea helped but I am still processing…Cancer meds make gas worse, in case you didn’t know that…Getting older is a gift but it is not for the weak!
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 22, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
Walking on the Wind Cherokee Teachings for Harmony & Balance by Michael Tlanusta Garrett was a joy to read not just because of the short stories and anecdotes but the great and simple wisdom found on every page. It was a book I didn’t want to end and look forward to enjoying again and again.
There were a few main “rules or beliefs” that Garrett seemed to rely strongly on for explanation of many things. One was the Rule of Acceptance. This was an answer given to him by his father for many questions he asked while growing up.
The Rule of Acceptance says:
- It is important to listen and open our spirit by giving away our need to control or change other people.
- Sometimes it is not the right answer but the right question and being ready for what comes that is important. If you have to ask you may not be ready.
- Things that need to happen have a way of happening regardless of our expectations so our responsibility is to let life happen and to make good choices instead of forcing life to happen.
- Expect nothing and appreciate the value of everything.
- Right or wrong are considered relative and limiting value terms that potentially rob a person of the opportunity to experience life fully in mind, body, spirit and natural environment and thus to learn from his or her experiences.
- There is a natural way of things.
- Knowing that everything has its purpose and its own time.
Cherokee spiritual beliefs require harmony and balance which emphasizes:
- Everything is alive.
- Everything has a purpose.
- All things are connected.
- We can embrace the Medicine of all living things as we are all walking together in The Circle.
The Circle reflects the interrelationship of all living beings and the natural progression or growth of life itself. Harmony and balance are necessary for the survival of all life. The Circle honors all that is, all that has ever been, and all that will ever be.
- Creator
- Mother Earth
- Ourselves
- The 4 Directions
Medicine is the inner power that connects to all living beings through the heart. It can be used for creative or destructive purposes, either contributing or taking away from the Greater Circle of Life.
Being in harmony means being in step with the universe; being in disharmony means being out of step with the universe.
“Harmony and balance is not a point that you eventually reach and then have to figure out a way to stay there; it is a constant state of living and learning — with clarity and compassion.” Chapter 11
7 Life Lessons in the Rule of Opposites:
- Opposites are extensions of themselves, one opposite implies the other in the Great Circle.
- We choose our opposites — we are the source of our difficulty (until we learn we have wisdom to create more options).
- Everything serves a meaningful and important purpose in our lives.
- Asking the right questions, instead of asking for the right answer will teach us why we are asking questions and not just answering questions.
- Questioning assumptions and recognizing underlying meanings or truths might be more important than learning what really happened.
- Understanding underlying truths eliminates need for discord in our lives.
- Through choice of perspective and appropriate actions, we are free to balance ourselves as we see fit.
Keeping It All Balanced:
- Find your own intuitive energy and listen to it.
- Find how you are good at helping others.
- Make sure to laugh every day and look for joy.
- Be open to the energy all around us and enjoy it.
- Eat well.
- Get outside and move.
- Celebrate life and love by opening all senses and sharing feelings with a special person.
- Use quiet times to release stress, anxiety, fear and pain that you experience in life.
- Find your own vision. What works for others might not work for you.
“…when we look at something as a gift, we tend to accept it as it is, to appreciate it as it is, and it just makes us feel good. There is a sense of connection. It touches something within us and somehow grants us sacred moments of harmony.” Chapter 12
There are so many answers to life to be found in Walking on the Wind Cherokee Teachings for Harmony & Balance. This book also encouraged many other books to read so my reading list has grown considerably. I am excited about that too. I hope you enjoyed this review.
You can get your own copy of Walking on the Wind Cherokee Teachings for Harmony & Balance by Michael Tlanusta Garrett on Amazon.
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Walking on the Wind: Cherokee Teachings for Harmony and Balance by Michael Tlanusta Garrett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Very inspirational read. I will read again and again. I also was inspired to write other books mentioned in the text that I intend to look into. Beautifully written; humble, insightful and spiritually inspirational for anyone on many types of journeys.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 11, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
In the Name of Gucci A Memoir is written by Patricia Gucci, the daughter of Aldo Gucci and Bruna Palombo.
The Gucci brand was first created by Patricia’s grandfather, Guccio Gucci, whom she never met, in 1921 under the name G. GUCCI & Co. The First Gucci Logo was a young page in full livery and a cap carrying a suitcase in one hand and a Gladstone bag in the other hand to memorialize his first job as a page at the Savoy Hotel in England.
The workshop was filled with wholesale leather from Germany, made very affordable following World War I. Guccio planned to create superior leather goods with lesser quality hides by using skilled dyeing and treating techniques. As the business grew he also offered repair services.
Guccio Gucci was short-tempered and had little patience and was known to be a perfectionist. He believed in family and commitment to business came first. He instilled a competitive spirit amongst his children and expected his family to present themselves to the world with fine clothes, grace and gentility to make the best possible impression.
Guccio pushed his sons, Aldo, Vasco and Rodolfo to run deliveries in order to help the business grow. Guccio’s daughter, Grimalda, ran the cash register along with her mother, Aida who also ran the staff as tightly as she ran her household. As he grew, Guccio’s oldest son, Aldo showed that he had the same zeal for the company as his father and he also had the entrepreneurial spirit needed to make Gucci the world renowned empire it would become.
Aldo had tons of energy and passion. He loved business, family and women. He traveled constantly, looking for new ideas and types of hides and fabrics to use for products. Since Italy is so centrally located they were often affected by wars, making leather hard to come by, creating a need to find other fabrics that could be used for Gucci’s high end products. In his travels, Aldo met many people and women. In 1927, his father forced Aldo to marry Olwen Price. Pregnant with his first son, Guccio would not allow Aldo to leave her uncared for. This loveless marriage produced 3 sons: Giorgio, Paolo and Roberto. Aldo was rarely home and his wife made peace with raising the children on her own. It was illegal to divorce in Italy until the late 1970’s and it was unheard of in the Catholic Church.
Guccio was so passionate about his work that he would wave pieces of leather under his grandchildren’s noses and tell them this was the smell of their future. Aldo also fostered the competitive spirit in his children and enlisted them in the stockroom and deliveries just as his father had done, in order to ready them for a future in the company he was helping to build for them.
As Guccio and Aldo slowly added stores throughout Italy and Rome they also agreed to simplify the the logo to the double G’s we know now. The simplified logo would last much longer than the more complicated and personal one they had been using.
The first Gucci Store to open in The United States was in November of 1953, although Guccio did not see it, he had passed away in January, yet he had given his blessing and passed the torch onto Aldo to grow the company.
In April of 1956, 18-year-old Bruna Palomba made her way to the Gucci store at 21 Via Condotti, Rome to apply for a job. She was engaged, but not happy with her fiancé who was much like her controlling father and brother, she wanted to make her own money and she was happy to be hired. She started in the storeroom and quickly was promoted to the shop floor. Each time she ran into Dr. Aldo Gucci he was very kind to her and complimentary. When his secretary had to leave her position, Bruna was given this job where she had much more time with him. His kindness increased, as well as the flirting and gifts.
Although he was a public figure, and married he pursued Bruna unceasingly. Even though she asked him to stop. Eventually she too could not ignore her feelings. She ended her relationship with her fiancé but still tried to resist Aldo for as long as she could.
Throughout the years, Aldo continued to travel constantly, building the Gucci name. He took care of his first wife and children. He also made time for Bruna and their daughter Patricia; they were alone a lot but they looked forward to their time with him as he was the light of their life. In the end, Aldo’s nephew, which he had taken under his wing to personally train, and his son’s locked him out of his company and sold all their shares to another company, breaking his heart. But he was able to see that Bruna and Patricia were there always and his faith helped him through this hard time.
Because of choices he didn’t always have full control over he had been made to pay dearly by paying back taxes, losing his ability to live in The United States, having to sell many of his properties and artifacts and doing time in prison but he always tried to live life gracefully. He could have run back to Italy, but he chose to stay and face his responsibilities and I really respect that. When he died in January of 1990, of cancer, Aldo had said all he needed to say and made peace with his family.
I really enjoyed this book more than I thought I would. I meant to check out a different book, that my nephew had suggested, but the library doesn’t have it yet and they gave me this one. I believe Patricia Gucci did an excellent job of pulling me into her family and helping me to see their humanity. I highly recommend this book.
I checked out my copy from the Longview Public Library but you can purchase your own copy of In the Name of Gucci A Memoir by Patricia Gucci on Amazon
In the Name of Gucci by Patricia Gucci
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Patricia Gucci drew me into her family. I finished the book last night and I am still mourning the death of Aldo Gucci, although he passed away over 30 years ago and I only met him this week. I am not one that cares for brands and self-importance but I understand building a company and I understand family. The culture of the time and differences between all the countries are romantic. I was truly pulled in and able to see the passion these people had for each other and the Gucci brand and I could feel the pain of betrayal that Aldo felt as his sons and nephew took advantage of his years of building only to lock him out and sell, yet he forgave as best he could. Bravo!
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 6, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros was a wonderful surprise. this was the second book I have read by this author and this book is very different from Carmelo.
As a collection of short stories, The House on Mango Street tells about the all the families and people that live on Mango Street.
“I want to be
like the waves on the sea,
like the clouds in the wind,
but like me.
One day I’ll jump
out of my skin.
I’ll shake the sky
like a hundred violins.”
Chapter 58
This book is about growing up. It is about being a girl. It is about dreaming dreams. It took me a minute for me to catch on, but I eventually fell in love with The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros.
Buy your own copy of The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros on Amazon
The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I love the idea that this book is made of many little stories but I didn’t totally feel like the stories were truly linked together, however they were in a disconnected, connected way. I do love they way Cisneros uses words.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 4, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
I bought Born Standing Up A Comic’s Life by Steve Martin with my wife, Karen G Clemenson, in mind. I enjoy Steve Martin but Karen really loves him. She has been so busy so I got to this book first and I have really enjoyed the conversational manner that Martin writes.
Steve Martin is actually a pretty serious guy who seems to enjoy a semi-solitary existence. Born in Texas, his father, wanting Martin to be an actor, moved the family to California. Martin was an average student as a boy, but he was very devoted to learning magic tricks, comedy on the radio and TV, and teaching himself to pay the banjo by slowing down records and learning the sounds.
His first job was at the newly opened Disneyland, just 2 miles from his home. At 10-years-old he sold Disneyland guidebooks on the weekends and had free access to the park. As he got too old to sell guidebooks, Martin learned rope tricks and tight rope walking and enjoyed helping and learning new tricks in the 2 magic shops located in Disneyland. He also saw his first live performances there, which helped him later on.
Steve Martin’s 2nd job was at Knott’s Berry Farm at The Bird Cage Theatre. He was able to collaborate and learn a lot from performances there. From a relationship he had made there he later was invited to be a writer for the Smother’s Brother’s Show. He also wrote for the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.
Martin was always learning in any way he could. When he went to college he was no longer an average student but an A student. He studied philosophy until he felt as though he could argue there was no reason for philosophy and changed his studies to TV production.
Despite the fact that Martin suffered with hypochondria and anxiety attacks, he was able to overcome these and he spent a lot of time finding clubs where he could hone his standup comedy acts. He always worked to be original, making sure to not copy other artists and leave people wanting more. He came up with the anti-climatic punchline and he made sure never show to his doubt in any performance.
Martin’s first appearance on TV was on The Steve Allen Show, he also was on the Merv Griffin Show, Virginia Graham Show, Mike Douglas Show, he opened for Ann-Margret in 1971 and his first appearance on the Johnny Carson show was in October 1972. The first time that Steve Martin hosted Saturday Night Live was in October 1976.
“Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.” Steve Martin
Surprisingly he father was not supportive of his career choices, even writing a bad review of him in the local newsletter where he lived. Martin’s mother didn’t like the content of his shows but she was very proud of his fame.
Steve Martin is not a man that just sits and lets life happen. He is an intelligent man, an educated man and he has worked hard for the fame he has earned. He is not just an actor and comedian. He is a musician. He has written several, books, screenplays and plays. I never realized how hard it is to be a comedian. The preparation and dedication to originality is amazing. I really enjoyed this book, I had a hard time putting it down.
Buy your own copy of Born Standing Up A Comic’s Life by Steve Martin on Amazon
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 31, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews
If you are looking for an adventure, Life of Pi by Yann Martel is a perfect literary escapade. Life of Pi starts out fascinating to me, a child raised in the United States and not in India and not the child of zookeepers.
“In many ways, running a zoo is a hotel-keeper’s worst nightmare. Consider: the guests never leave their rooms; they expect not only lodging but full board; they receive a constant flow of visitors, some of whom are noisy and unruly. One has to wait until they saunter to their balconies, so to speak, before one can clean their rooms, and then one has to wait until they tire of the view and return to their room before one can clean their balconies; and there is much cleaning to do, for the guests are as unhygienic as alcoholics. Each guest is very particular about his or her diet, constantly complains about the slowness of the service, and never ever tips. To speak frankly, many are sexual deviants, either terribly repressed and subject to explosions of frenzied lasciviousness or openly depraved, in either case regularly affronting management with gross outrages of free sex and incest.” Chapter 4
Ordinary in many other ways, our main character, is quiet and the opposite to his athletic older brother. Given a name that is easy to tease, he has to be brave and rename himself Pi, as in π or 3.14. Pi lives in a country where religion is taken very seriously but most people choose Hindu, Muslim or Christian, not all three. It is different, but Pi’s mother can’t find a reason to make him stop studying all 3 religions so it is allowed.
“Though she had lived in Toronto for over 30 years, her French-speaking mind still slips on occasion on the understanding of English sounds. And so when she first heard of Hare Krishnas, she didn’t hear right. She heard ‘Hairless Christians,’ and that’s what they were to her for many years. When I corrected her, I told her that in fact she was not wrong; that Hindus, in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God are hat-wearing Muslims,” Chapter 16
Pi’s life is ordinary to him until his father gets the idea to sell the zoo and move his family to Canada. Regardless of how his family feels, deals are struck and the family finds themselves on the Japanese cargo ship, Tsimtsam along with several wild animals that they are delivering to new places.
While they slept, one night Pi is awakened by an odd sound and he gets out of bed to see what happened only to find the ship is sinking fast! Before he knows it, he finds himself in a lifeboat with a zebra, an orangutan, a hyena and a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. By morning, this 16-year-old boy has lost his entire family and must learn to survive in the most extreme circumstances.
“Life on the lifeboat isn’t much of a life. It is like an end game in chess, a game with few pieces. The elements couldn’t be more simple, nor the stakes higher, Physically it is extraordinarily arduous, and morally it is killing. You must make adjustments if you want to survive. Much becomes expendable. You get your happiness where you can. You reach a point where you’re at the bottom of hell, yet you have your arms crossed and a smile on your face, and your feel you’re the luckiest person on earth. Why? Because at your feet you have a tiny dead fish.” Chapter 78
For over 6 months this young man figured out how to survive on the lifeboat. He made choices. He accepted loss. At times you forget he is only a boy and then other times you want to grab him and hold him tight. His devotion to his faith carried him through because that is what faith does. No matter what name you call it by.
“This beach, so soft firm and vast, was like the cheek of God, and somewhere two eyes were glittering with pleasure and a mouth was smiling at having me there.” chapter 94
I am glad I decided to read this book. It wasn’t the smoothest read but I know it was important for the part of life I am in for right now. Not all paths are smooth and sometimes seeing how others struggle through and listen to the wisdom inside ourselves, even when no one believes us, is exactly what we need.
I checked my book out at the Longview Public Library but your can buy your own copy of Life of Pi by Yann Martel on Amazon.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Please wait...
