Dear Random Messenger

This week I got a note from a random messenger that saw one of my posts. I didn’t edit their message. This is what they said:

Hi you stated that you are a Christian but you are not christ like as you are gay and you are sinning. You are also have a problem with our president who is way better than the other which is a devil.

At first I was a little miffed. Who likes to be judged, especially by a stranger? I have never met this person. But as I began responding, I was also thinking…

How do you know? Have you done your own research with more than one book or are you relying on what other people have told you? How long have you walked with God? Does He talk to you? Has He verbally told you what you are saying is true? Our president is just a man, just like all the rest before him. He is not perfect. Have you read in the bible what a good leader is supposed to look like, because Trump is not that. (Exodus 18:21, John 13:13-17, 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:7-14)

Also, when did I state that I am a Christian? I don’t use that word. I think that word has been morphed into something very sad. I am a Jesus Follower. It’s a very different thing. Jesus never said anything about sexuality but He said very specific things about adultery, selfishness, taking care of the poor, compassion… (Matthew 5:2-12, Matthew 5:27-28, Matthew 19:21, Matthew 23:25, John 15:13)

Another thing, who told you I am gay?

You might think I am angry with you but I’m not. I’m angry but not even at you. I’m angry at the system that taught us to judge each other and to think small. I used to think like you. I was raised in a conservative family and church. I was taught that homosexuality was an abomination. I didn’t know to ask questions. I never even met a queer person until I was 18 years old.

I had to meet several queer people to realize that each one was an individual with their own personality and dreams. I had to learn who I was to learn that it is not my job to tell other people how to live. Even the bible says, ‘judge not, lest ye be judged.’ (Matthew 7:1)

I know you are ignorant. The letters LGBTQIA+ all mean something special. I am old enough that I prefer the term queer, which is a blanket term for everyone. I’m not a Lesbian (women that only love women). I’m not Gay (men that only love men). I’m Bisexual (I have loved 2 men but I married my wife). I’m not Transgender. I’m Queer. I’m not Intersex (a person born with genetic markers or genitalia for both male and female sex). I am not technically A-sexual, however I am Demisexual which falls in that category. They added a + for any other groups people want to be in…

The far right republicans and conservative christians have spent years creating a platform to control people. Telling people that the media is fake and science is wrong and all kinds of propaganda. You probably can’t hear me, but I said it anyway. I don’t hate republicans. My wife is a republican. I don’t hate christians. Most of the people I know believe in some version of this faith. I myself, am a Jesus Follower.

But the word homosexual was not in the bible until February 11, 1946. You can research all of what I am saying. It is not hard to find. This translation was created to convince people to hate queer people who had quietly lived among us forever. There was no word for this kind of relationship in the bible because marriage was mainly a way to create children and provide inheritance; it was a business agreement. If you got lucky, you learned to love each other. People did not marry for love.

There are many books about this. I recommend you start with Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson, if you feel so inclined.

I did not realize I was queer until I was almost 40. But I have lived through a lot of trauma and have been in therapy for years. The reason I am bothering with you is that, I know people who knew they were queer all their life. They were abused terribly and have many scars. I don’t have scars about my sexuality. So I feel comfortable expressing things that someone of my queer community might not be able to communicate clearly.

I have read the bible through and through many times. I talk to God everyday. I have walked with Him for 45 years. I have read lots of books and watched documentaries. I don’t believe that loving my wife is a sin. I believe God created her for me. We have found so much healing with each other and so much peace and growth that no one else was ever able to create. God guides us and helps us together. Our marriage is just like any other marriage that relies on God to inspire.

I really don’t care if you don’t believe me, but I do want to impress on you that there are people who have hurts because people judged them merely on who they loved; not on their character or deeds or aspirations and it is not right. Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourself and He did not differentiate. I hope to inspire you to share the same kind of love the He gave to you. (Mark 12:30-31)

Even with the woman that was caught in adultery, He did not judge her. When all the men were ready to stone her, He advised that the man that was free of sin should cast the first stone. After they all left, He sent her on her way. (John 8:1-11)

We are not here to judge each other. We are here to learn how to love each other and to learn how to be loved.

This person never responded to me. I find this confusing because they cared enough to accuse me but they didn’t care enough to say anything to what I had to say. I don’t believe I was rude or even mean. I was sharing information I have collected over the years while I was learning who I was and meeting great people. But I think I can understand because the conservative right doesn’t teach us to question or study. They want us to stay ignorant so we are easily led. I am afraid this person expected me to either ignore them or respond with verbal violence, but that is not where growth is. That is not who I am.

In the end we can only grow through education. My hope is that this person learned something.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this: Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world. I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me. I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

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