My insides are raw from crying
and they aren’t even just my own tears
My muscles ache
and my joints pop
from clenching
and power surges that keep me awake
I woke the ancestors of many
I saw them gather at the foot of my bed
~
I am not afraid
I have known I was here for a large commitment
I have dreamed of and tried to leave
But I always returned
and now I am here to stay
So I might as well be the catalyst
But the goal is not calluses
It is new growth for a new generation
~
I hear the edge in my voice
I hear the roar in my veins
I see it also in my sister’s eyes
as she fights her way back from death
Again
What I am experiencing is carnal
I am at capacity
It isn’t that I don’t care
~
I am not angry
or I would not be communicating at all
I want to be understood
My soul is mourning
and she doesn’t want to lose anyone else
I don’t hate actually
I love so thoroughly
I want the hurting to stop
so let’s do something we’ve never done
~
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