Bruises

by | Feb 16, 2023 | Cancer, Poetry

My arms and torso and legs are covered in yellow
not my happy yellow but the one with a bit of brown mixed in
that makes me sad to look at
It is heavy and thick like wet cement
and made worse by the valentines I can’t swallow

~

If I could have a baby
the one I have always wanted
I would paint their room a rainbow
including yellow with a hint of lavender
my favorite color
But it wouldn’t be the color that would make me smile

~

How would you know
You have never had a child
These are mean words that cut deeper than the curette
used to cut away at the cancer cells inside my uterus
The bleeding and cramping will heal after the medical procedure
but I will be forgiving for a much longer time

~

I told them to go away and then I made them do it
because I was tired of feeling rejected
unloved
I told them what I needed
But after the compassion was handed out to everyone else
There was never enough for me

~

I want to be green and lush
Cool and clean
but my memories keep me awake and steal my smiles
I feel so alone even though You are with me
Why can’t I let this sadness go

~

Radiation treatment is the next trauma
I don’t know what color I will be then
but I know You will be carrying me
when I can’t move on my own

~

Thankfully He is Not A Hateful God

by | Dec 31, 2022 | Poetry

We protect them because they are cowards
who hide cowardly behind their sin
We are used to their weaknesses
We are used to being told to be quiet
We quietly keep the church pews clean

~

We put on our pretty clothes
We wear our pretty smiles and keep our secrets
behind the makeup we are so good at wearing
while victims are left in the gutter
No one will believe them because we wont protect them

~

Jesus said to defend the weak so we do
but He didn’t mean the ones with the big bibles
the dogma, the church standards, the ones who cover up with old money
God said to feed the poor, clothe the naked and lift up the downtrodden
instead we molest them, bend to complaints of neighbors, leave them to the government

~

And we hide behind our tax free pews

~

I am a sinner because I am married to my best friend
and we share the same sex
But members of your church leadership are
alcoholics, drug addicts, rapists and voyeurs
and don’t forget the ones that like to touch your children

~

I am not turned on by your big fancy buildings
your bids for money to save people on the other side of the world
I don’t care about how many big screens you have on the
inside and outside of your building
When your ego is bigger than your god

~

God has mercy on us all
Thank You Jesus for Your faithfulness to the action plan
I miss the music from the pews and the honest lovers of Christ
But I am so angry and so tired of how complicated we have made
Loving Jesus together

~

Holiday Peace and Joy

by | Dec 14, 2022 | Essential Oils, Life, Marketing, Opinions

Merry Christmas! I wish you Holiday Peace and Joy at this beautiful time of year that is celebrated for many reasons by many types of people and religions and I hope you all feel blessed.

I want to tell you a cute story about my cat. I have been using Certified Pure Grade Essential Oils for 11 years and I am not sure how many times I have been asked if they are safe for cats but, as a person who has been learning as I went, so has my cat. Xavier (pronounced Javier) is very much like his particular and opinionated mommy. He likes things the way he likes them and when Xavier is not happy, no one is happy. I am used to getting up at least once in the night to give him his 5 am feeding (he has IBS and is a compulsive eater) and love on him which is just as important for my anxious little guy. We play music at night because Xavier demands it but he has also grown accustomed to the diffuser.

The other night was not like other nights: We had cuddled. He had been fed. I made sure the bathtub was slowly dripping (he wont drink sitting water). The music was still playing and I was trying to separate myself to go back to bed but Xavier would not have it. He sat on the floor looking at me and grunting until I realized that the diffuser had gone dry.

After I was done laughing; I mean what else can you do? I refilled the defuser and put On Guard in it…that is his favorite oil. How do I know? He will lay on the floor beneath the diffuser for a bit and then run around the room and play and then come back to the diffuser and take a nap…

So the main rule is that the cat needs to be able to get away from the oil. Don’t apply oils to the cat directly or give them to the cat internally. Wash your hands after you have been working with oils to keep them from licking the oils off your hands. Cats have very different metabolisms than humans do and ingesting certain oils can be lethal. But diffusing is the safest way to use oils around cats because they are diluted by the water.

Now back to Holiday Peace and Holiday Joy…These are seasonal oils that doTERRA puts out and they are lovely. Here is my trick. I have never made a point of buying both of them until this year and when I got them I tried them in the diffuser individually and thought they were lovely but what I really enjoyed was putting them together with a little Peppermint…that was the Golden Ticket. Talk about smelling the holidays! I highly suggest this combination!

If you have any questions about Certified Pure Grade Essential Oils please Contact Me.

From my family to yours, we hope that you are blessing during this season.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

A New Chapter

by | Sep 19, 2022 | About Summer, Exclaim it!, Life, Marketing, Opinions

Do you ever just feel like something is about to change? You don’t know what it is but you feel an ambition to do things you haven’t had before? Well, I have to say, I feel a new chapter coming on.

I have reached the point that I have over 300 posts on my blog and that was no easy task. I am not sure that the book reviews are where I will stay but it gives me something to write about and that it is good. It also inspires me to keep reading and that is also a plus.

I feel like God is pushing me towards something; maybe a dream that I don’t know how to achieve on my own.

One of the verses in my bible study today was 3 John 1:2:

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

Writing is a great hobby but if my dream is to have guardianship over children and give them a well-loved, cultured, educated and even a bit of a traveled life, I need to find a way to do that and hobbies don’t provide money. I don’t have a body that can work a physical job and I want to be at home with the children we are entrusted with, I could do that as a writer…something I have always wanted to be. So…since college is not on the table right now, and I don’t have children right now, I will read everything I can get my hands on and write for practice and see what happens.

I am reading a collection of essays by William Deresiewicz entitled The End of Solitude. In one of his articles he writes:

“A recent article in the New York Times proclaimed the gladsome tidings. ‘New support for the value of fiction,’ it announced, ‘is arriving from an unexpected quarter: neuroscience.’ Our brains light up like Christmas trees, it turns out, when we are exposed to narrative language. Not only that, but reading fiction increases our ability to empathize with others.” The End of Solitude; Chapter 30 — Studies Show Arts Have Value — by William Deresiewicz

I am not surprised by this bit of information at all. I can read all day long and research all the facts I want but when I really see emotional growth is when I let myself enjoy my favorite genre, historical fiction. Deresiewicz’s essays are interesting and stretch my brain about topics I have put little time into learning; they are important to my personal growth, but I was resenting them until I picked up Yellow Wife by Sadeqa Johnson. That little break helped me to embrace the growth that was to come with the next 10 essays. And now as I have begun reading The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenigger, I will gladly finish Deresiewicz’s criticism of the art forms around him.

So yesterday I spent much of the day combining many of my To Read lists. I found nearly 300 books I want to read, until my sister, Jamie Holloway, reminded me about my GoodReads list…thanks Sister! Today I updated my Twitter and LinkedIn profiles. I really have gotten to where I agree with Deresiewicz in chapter 4 where he says: Technology claims to save humanity but it actually seems to abolish what is most human, which puts culture against culture.

I didn’t really have to read that to feel how impersonal social media is. I have alienated all my social media accounts except Facebook which I only peruse daily, hoping for something positive to share. I post on my blog when I have something to say because I don’t want to be censored. But in the end, I realize that people are using these tools so if I want to share my ideas on my blog, and want to have people see them, I need to be using social media to reach the people. Who knows? Maybe my faith will be rekindled…or maybe I will still feel more like going to find real people to talk to..either way I need an audience.

I would really love some feedback. If you want to suggest a topic I would love to write about it. Let me know!

Enjoy your day!

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

In the Middle of the Night

by | May 8, 2022 | Poetry

There is a wound that you opened

It is new with blood

and old with scars upon scars

There is a metal taste I wish I could forget

~

You say you are the victim

but I saw you and I wasn’t alone

we heard your hate that was just like

the evil meant to keep me small

I just want to go to sleep

~

Therapy has helped me live

Pills help me slow down so I am better

but I can still be cut in two

There is still a pain that can make it hard to move

~

They couldn’t bite your head if you left when they asked

if you didn’t invade their space

if you didn’t keep pushing

I couldn’t cut my abuser in two

if they didn’t corner me in the middle of the night

~

A tongue is a double edged sword

it can slay or tell truths

The victim is a relative term depending on your perspective

The screaming radiates in my ears regardless of radical acceptance

~

I just want to go to sleep

~

The Foundation of Your Will

by | Sep 18, 2020 | Poetry

I have blood on my hands
it covers my palms warm and thick
It runs between my fingers
like liquid silk
The shock of it is curious
and I feel drunk
There is a voice singing that is like mine

I am mellow and expectant
Raising my arms to reach for more
the scars I have always had disappear
You have adopted me
and I am Yours
My heritage of rejections is gone
because You have never left me

You hold me close and I know You
Your voice is mine
We are one and We are new
I am wise and not broken
When I look back You recapture me
You are my inheritance
I know they never knew me

In You I am Your light and love
I have blood on my hands
and it is mine
You beckon and I follow until I forget
I am used to pain
Your heart beat calms me
If I remember to stay here
to live my inheritance

Image Credit: By 3rd/4th century monk – http://chrles.multiply.com/photos/album/36/Bible_Papyrus_p92#photo=2, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=13288140
~

Enough

by | Nov 22, 2017 | Poetry

Under the branches of You I hide
I live
I learn
I breath in the scent of You
and smile

The wind and waves roar inside me
They crash
and shake
Yet You are dependable
to save

You know the wars that tear at my flesh
You validate
You heal
You know who I truly am
I’m yours

Even in this wilderness
You are
I am
and I know You know where we are going
even now

That’s enough

Two Tears

by | Jun 6, 2017 | Poetry

I asked Jesus for someone to love me like Him
He sent me a soldier
to fight for me
to look past my ugliest and remember who I am
to see the path when I cannot
to remember that He is the one in charge

 

My head on your chest is my favorite spot
the sound of your heartbeat
is just one more reason to remember the mission

My Father has saved me over and over
He created me for a life
that requires much faith
and more grace
So when I needed someone on earth to hold my hand
He created you

Even sound asleep
you are working hard
and I am glad to lie here until fibromyalgia makes me move

Without you who would He send home
to wake me from a PTSD nightmare
Help me remember all the things I forget
Inspire me to push past my burning skin and screaming joints
when you need help
Make me want to imagine tomorrow

Your smile lights up my heart
makes it easy for me to never leave you behind
Helps me understand why Jesus would choose me

Until you wake and make me laugh
I will agree with Jesus in my prayers for you
I will hug you close until you stop snoring
laugh at the jokes you tell in your sleep
massage the muscles that twitch while you dream
I will revel in all the times I chose not to fight you

You are the love I wanted
You are my favorite blessing
When I thank Jesus for you every other care is silent
except for the tears that fall on your shirt

This poem is dedicated to My Love

Being Still

by | Feb 27, 2017 | Poetry

Lord please help me

Thank you for the beautiful blue sky today
The clouds are pretty
The tree out front praises You always
and right now shows the glimmer of new life in the light of the sun

I feel like the nothingness has come again
Like yeast I feel it expand
My thoughts seem to bubble up and away from me

If I could leave here I would

You hold me always and guide me with Your voice
You show me the path when I can walk
But now all I see is me trying to see You
Please give me Your eyes

Your faith in me is the only thing that
stops me from floating away
My body screams where it isn’t numb
I know You know what this feels like

Nevertheless not my will but Yours

I Am Collateral Damage

by | Dec 27, 2016 | Poetry

Unintentionally you shot me
with your legal use of force
My heart is full of bullet holes
from the war zone you accidentally created
where sneak attacks tore us apart

The palace you worked hard to provide was sparkly
Because you taught me to run directly into firestorms
for years I fought to defend it
But you didn’t know about the terrorists after my heart and mind
Your Fast Assessment Strike Tool didn’t work in my benefit

My humanity was set aside while you saved yourself
Something like PTSD sucks the life out of me when I see you
The armed conflict is still happening
even though the war crimes were committed years ago
I don’t hate you and I miss you
but I am holding the wrong ammunition for your battle plan

I don’t need judgement or criticism wrapped in a hug
I don’t need people who just want what I have
because I only have love to give
I am unable to engage in euphemisms
and your moral outrage is not my fight

I have made choices you can’t understand
because I have orders you can’t see
In the mire I live in right now light is a precious commodity
I am shaken by the wars outside of me
but the glimmer of hope I depend on will continue to lead me on

I can’t follow your objectives while my old wounds fester
I don’t know how to let them go so I must let them heal
and my treatments take too long for you
As much as I want to choose you
I have made myself my own secret mission

I will contact you when the casualties have been honored

With All HIS Might!

by | Oct 2, 2016 | Poetry

The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might

~

The path is not straight but you don’t travel alone
Through suffering you suffer not
in
Him you find your faith
on
Him you call and make known your heart
His heart is your heart and together they beat

~

The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might

~

With all your heart and mind you praise Him
In JOY you dance with Him
yes
He loves to feel your embrace
with
God you have found your Living Water
With all your being you laugh with Him because He is

~

The Lord sings to you
Oh!
Because you delight Him
and
you look for Him with all your might

The Light in the Dark

by | Sep 25, 2016 | Poetry

In the dark I am
surrounded all around
My closed eyes sense no light
the breeze around me
is not Your breath

Arrows circle me faster and louder
created by the accuser
deceit
betrayal
scenes of great decay
All the things that hold me

I feel You near
I see You in the light above the noise
I fix my eyes on You
I get distracted but You are always there
As I see You I see You more
until I know I am standing
on Your living water

You living water
goes where I am
because You are always with me
Even when I don’t feel
or see You
You are with me

You have given me new eyes
You have made me safe
You have carried me this far
And in You is no darkness
at all

Another Day Down

by | Sep 16, 2016 | Poetry

The crinkle of paper and the whisper of a pen
I saw My Commander sign the order
You were given permission to test me but not unto death
You lured me in with promises and built me up
I tried not to believe you but you wore a new disguise
You left me isolated and rejected my loyalty
You beat me with your fists and threw me down on the cold cement
You ran me over with a cargo van and I heard my ribs crack
Your laughter rang shrill as I struggled to breathe
coughing on my own fluids and waiting for you to stop
because I know when you get weak

I wove in and out of my experience
knowing my nightmare was only real in one realm
I could not wake up
no matter how many times Xavier called my name
or jumped off and on the bed

Your eyes twinkled when you blew me up
The sound made Anniessa wince
Her dark eyes grew darker as she watched frozen in her flashback
In sticky piles that covered everything I laid in many places
My nerves were on fire and the air was lingered with smoke
The smell of blood filled my senses
and I knew you were there devising the next encounter
The only intimacy you can truly experience
The taste of blood it doesn’t even answer a dry mouth

His furry striped face stood watch
as I looked at him through eyes full of sleep
I wished for my soldier
but she was far away
His soft paws brushed my face
while I tried to remember how to move my arms

On a road in the desert I knew you were there
I could sense the hidden witnesses who knew nothing
The ground was hard and hot
Nathaniel had joined Anniessa as they stood strong
While red dust blew through their hair and they muffled their thoughts
I watched you quarter me with a steak knife from my kitchen
You laid my parts side by side
You cursed me and could not understand why I was mad
The spit from your mouth was hotter than the wind

I heard my soldier fighting and calling my name
I saw formless minions clenching her arms and covering her mouth
You refused to hear me so I didn’t to speak
Above the muffled screams of my soldier
You made known all your accusations
No one spoke for me because the buildings caught on fire
I knew I was still alive because I remembered His words
You also cursed Him because you didn’t act in your own power

In the arms of my soldier I awoke
as my feline baby wove his way in
Bathed by the softness of their eyes I was finally near peace
Every blow, every burn, every cut still fresh
I cried in pain, in my body and sorrow in my mind
My Commanders voice whispered the truth in the quiet
because He had already won
You can’t reach me unless I let you
and I am learning how to not let you in

I AM Here

by | Jul 18, 2016 | Poetry

In a quiet only known with You
You are God
I can reach out and touch the gifts of Your praise
In the colors of Your rainbow are Your radiance and mercy
and I have been allowed to be here!

You chose me before You made me
or the earth and all its wonders
You tell me how much You love me
with every breath You breathe into me

I am but to praise You with Your own love and faith
and I will stay here for awhile
because it took so long to see how much You gave for me
To stand here and minister to You with Your own song
with Your own truth

In a quiet only known with You

Four Words

by | May 18, 2016 | Poetry

I heard You yesterday
surrounded by trees and strangers
I felt You walking with me
I looked for someone coming
over my shoulder and all around
and then You spoke

“Do you feel Me?”
Four words relieved my anxiety
Yes I feel You
Our steps were in unison
and I wasn’t alone

Greeted by people in need
people in a hurry
people who can’t see me
You were steady and leading
I have stumbled looking for You
Today Your strength kept our path

“Do you feel Me?”
Four words show You trust me
to know You are here
Our steps are in unison
and I am not alone

New Floors

by | May 17, 2016 | Poetry

I know how to scrub floors
I can do it in any dress
whether in drag, rags or coiffed to the nines
I am here to serve
On my knees with or without implements
I’ve cleaned up messes I didn’t make

I have grown and I have watched
you drop your plates, scraps and shrapnel
where I can see
you maintain your stature
and my body become one with the floor

At your pleasure I have served
watched my sisters at their stations
until I was alone
Then a swift kick in the rump
can send me airborne
to scrub what no one else saw

On my last trip down
I decided to stand up
and walk away;
maybe learn to dance in my own house
because her smile made floors out of clouds

Many Foundations

by | Apr 20, 2016 | Poetry

My father worked hard and built two houses
one wanted to be an island
the other wanted to be the world
When he left the island he never came back
It was my job to keep it from floating away

While my light shone bright You sought me
Before my small hands could break
You breathed into me Your life
because without You I wouldn’t be

My father collected 4 porcelain dolls with painted faces
but I was really a house of mirrors
My dress was full to cover my broken parts
because no one wants to see some things

To bless those You need to be seen
You made me with the ability to see
Mirrors tell truths minds can distort
You heal wounds even we can’t see

My father came from a railroad house;
he built with tools he had learned to make
Tools the world says are strong but not on an island
I’ve moved to the city
The island likes to be what it wants to be

When I walk by a mirror I am surprised to see smooth skin
The other dolls have cracks from smiling too hard
Your wind has scattered them to their hills
But I stand here because this one You made for me

You have built my new house
You’ve sent me a sergeant to be strong when I can’t
My mirrors are broken but we want to hang Yours
Your light shines through every dark place
Your carpentry will make sure my father and his houses are welcome
Your foundation is forgiveness and we will have strong floors

You Have My Hands

by | Jan 3, 2016 | Poetry

In the quiet You are here

In the clatter & destruction

You are here

When I reach out my hand

You meet me as far as I need

I know that You know

that I know

that I know

You know

I can’t walk alone

So You are with me every step

You know every tear

every drop of blood spilled

every wound

that I can’t allow to heal

You are the perfect salve

I will never go septic

When I stop

strangling myself

You will be the air I breathe

Because You are my heart

that beats

the synapses that fire

and You will not let go of my hands

Written by Summer D Clemenson 12/29/2015

The Great Reception

by | Nov 3, 2015 | Poetry

You are great and massive
Without You
I am a speck in someone else’s eye
In Your might
I grow
As we walk I become more like You
While You hold me
I illuminate within You
Arms outstretched
as the boughs of a mighty oak
Your roots run deep and steady
The breeze in the leaves
speaks of Your Spirit
I feel it moving
I repeat the song it sings
and watch it heal
I am refreshed
by Your river that overflows
In Your shadow I will never move
November 1, 2015

Wellness Works NW

by | Mar 26, 2015 | Marketing

Wellness Works NW

Wellness Works NW serves Cowlitz County, Clatskanie & Rainier by offering:

  • Wellness Plans for Individuals & Businesses
  • Fitness Assessments
  • Weight Management Counseling
  • Personalized Menus & Shopping Lists
  • Personal Training

(more…)

Elevated Marketing Concepts

by | Nov 25, 2014 | Poetry

You are so much bigger than myself

Drowning in communication

Caught in the chords that we’ve confused

I am straining to hear You

but the addresses are new while the links look unchanged

—

Critics have had their say

The constant wailing and lamenting

has captured thousands of hits

But only You know what I am mourning

—

The information I have depended on

cannot be found

You see my creation and documented the keywords

I have worked hard to maintain a user-friendly site

but the pop-ups have led me astray

Will You tell me where I am going?

—

The polls are in and the adware has been effective

My arms are exhausted from constant hacking

You are the one that connects the parts of me You made

while the marketing continues to mix

—

The slideshow is entertainment while I wait

for the entire page to upload

A glitch in the database

stops my head from speaking to my feet

while technicians install Your latest update

There are 3 empty chairs at this station even though You never leave

—

The fine print clarifies that You are always refining

My code is always being updated

I look forward to being newer and better when You are done

as silver purified in a furnace on earth 7 times

The Song and The Dance

by | Nov 8, 2014 | Poetry

In the warmth that fills me

You claim Your place inside

Like a child I behold Your face ablaze

Giggles escape in adoration

as I reach up to look better at Your eyes

as I run my fingers through Your hair

—

As long as I stay here

You are my breath

You empower my opportunities

and even while I look to You

You leak out of my pores

—

The voices singing Hallelujah

erupt and fill the room

We sway in Your arms

but only use words that seem too small

In You we find our likeness

while you manage the production in Your Word

—

Desire to move on my own

takes me out of Your light

So I will stand on Your feet

and let You lead

I fail when I try my hand at choreography

—

There is a whisper in my soul

that answers every question

Like a child I behold Your face ablaze

Giggles escape in adoration

Who I am is in Your gaze

and You are the song and the dance