by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 29, 2023 | About Summer, Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions, Queer Community
Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson is the first book I have read on the topic of what the bible says about being queer. I have read the bible and I have spoken to God but I want to read what more learned people have written on the topic. This topic is personal to me because when I was 20 years old I knew that I had a fight inside of me, although I didn’t know the words. Being a late-bloomer, it didn’t bother me, until I found myself attracted to a few ladies I knew. It wasn’t overwhelming, but I didn’t have overwhelming feelings about men either. At the time, I didn’t know the word demi-sexual or even bi-sexual, which explains why I wasn’t rude about my attractions, like my friends were. I always thought their comments about body parts was belittling to the whole person, therefore, disrespectful. I now know that they were probably what is considered, “normal” and I was different because although I might find a person attractive, I am not sexually attracted to them until I have a deep emotional and intellectual bond with them.
I was raised in a conservative Baptist church and I found the scripture that said homosexuality was an abomination. I had other things to do and no real relationships so I stayed busy. I met Karen G Clemenson 10 years before we became engaged. For some of that time I was seeing a Christian therapist and I admitted some fears I had about feelings I was having about her and sometimes feelings I was feeling from Karen. I prayed a lot. Karen was a wonderful friend. I didn’t want to mess that up. In 2014, when I got sick enough that I couldn’t fake it or hide it, she was by my side and never left. She was never overwhelmed. She was my rock. She was my nurse. She encouraged me to find strength when I didn’t know I could. Somewhere in there; in all that bloody humanity we realized that we had a love that was beyond friendship. We were married 11 days later. It will be 9 years ago on May 9th. After a year of marriage and seeing a different therapist I was able to admit that I was bisexual. Before then I had told people I wasn’t gay, I just married my best friend — talk about denial. I am not in denial anymore because the light of Christ is an amazing thing and this book is just one of many that can help shine light on a dark spot.
As many people engage in polarizing debates we must not only focus on what the scripture says but what it means. Throughout history we have come to understand that we must change our discernment of the bible. During most of the bible times slavery was prevalent, yet we now know slavery is wrong. Brownson wants to help the reader understand key points in the bible and history to re-open discussion about same-sex intimate relationships.
Gender Complimentary Argument
Arguments that same-sex intimate relationships violate God’s divinely intended gender complementarity, but this implies that male and female are incomplete on their own and that is not true. The one-flesh union spoken of in Genesis is not a physical one but a kinship one. Adam and Eve were celebrated for their similarities more than their differences so Genesis does not teach a normative form of gender complimentary. The overall context and language of scripture suggests that the one-flesh bond mentioned in Genesis 2:24 is a lifelong kinship bond which is described through prophetic tradition in the Old Testament when we see Gods’ faithfulness to Israel as a marriage bond which is lifelong and emphasizing grace. This same emphasis is also seen in the New Testament.
The reason against promiscuity is that people are not to say with their bodies what they can’t or will not say with their whole lives. In scripture it is clear that one-flesh bond only takes place between and man and a woman but there is nothing in the bible that excludes committed same-sex unions when the other characteristics of the kinship bonds are met. One flesh does not only refer to sexual relations but the relationship, love, social, community ties and responsibilities the relationship creates and supports.
“To think of sexual relations as a language brings with it another important corollary. Sex can bring with it an incredibly wide range of meanings…Thus Christian faithfulness has only begun when it recognizes that full sexual intimacy belongs in one-flesh kinship unions. The following steps are equally, if not more important: learning the bodily language for giving and receiving love and using that language to create a space of beauty and love where both partners become more fully the person God intends them to be.” Chapter 5
The bible does not teach normative understanding of gender complimentary.
“Perhaps what heterosexuals are experiencing in marriage is not essentially a complimentary of gender understood biologically, but simply a form of otherness that usually takes shape along gender lines, even if those gendered lines may shift significantly from one context to the next.” Chapter 12
Cultural Norms
The bible was written in an honor-shame culture where public esteem was highly valued and male/female roles were clearly and sharply defined. Western culture is not like this. The need to honor each other is universal but the concept of shame varies among different cultures. The modern world doesn’t understand gender roles as they did in the ancient world. Men are not offended by female bosses. Women are not naturally passive, subservient and subject to passions. Cultural expectations in the old world have no way of viewing the notion of sexual orientation.
There is a lot of patriarchal beliefs or contrasting egalitarian beliefs shown through the bible, however the New Testament illustrates we leave that behind in the New Life we share in Christ. The hierarchy of gender cannot be used today as a form of gender complimentary, which is allegedly violated by same-sex intimate relationships. Many people can argue that what the bible says about same-sex eroticism that ancient world does not apply to the committed queer relationships of today. We need a cross-cultural sexual ethic that includes justice and love that may have relevance for queer relationships.
What is normal in the bible may not have been able to be envisioned by the writers of the bible due to cultural norms. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider them.
Procreation & Sex
Marriage does not require the ability to procreate to be valid and the inability to bear children is not a reason for divorce. Reliable contraception has changed how we think about relationship between sex and procreation — increasing the importance of bonding through sex and in some cases replacing the procreative meaning of sex.
The Old Testament does not call for celibacy as a lifelong calling for all people, although it is appropriate for short-term avoidance of sex for holiness purposes. Some people are called to a life of celibacy but not all. If not all are called to a life of celibacy than isn’t it better to allow queer people to marry so they do not fall into promiscuity from their unfulfilled passions?
Promiscuity is rejected because it cannot cultivate a lifelong relationship and spread disease.
Other Benefits of Marriage
In ancient days marriage was important to maintain the responsibility and duties to sustain a household. Now society benefits many ways when people live together in long-term committed unions — taxes, better health are just a few.
Society has interest in supporting marriages in order to provide for care of children but this is not the only reason and this lack of procreative capacity cannot deny legitimacy to queer couples in a stable marriage.
What Paul Says
When Paul talks about sexual behaviors that are unacceptable in Romans 1:24-27 he is talking about excessive, self-centered desire and not normal sexual relationships. He also might be referring to the Roman Emperor Gaius Galigula whose idolatry and sexual excesses earned him a gruesome death.
Paul doesn’t see sexual desire as a sin but if it gets out of control it can become lust and lead to sin.
The core form of moral logic that characterizes sexual misconduct as “impure” is the internal attitudes and disposition — lust and lack of restraint. In committed same-sex marriages, where there is discipline, can we still call this union impure?
The Church Today
The church has welcomed queer folks but abhorred their way of handling their emotions with shame. The church may wrestle with Paul’s words about queer relationships but the real issue is promiscuity and lack of self-control which are not part of committed marriages.
The church should stand against relationships marked by dominance, lack of consent, lack of mutuality, including and especially relationships between adults and minors. The bible verses that speak regarding homosexual or same-sex relations are relating to extreme situations: rape, incest, human trafficking, prostitution, sex with angels, overindulgence, idolatry; of course we, as Christians, should be against this lack of self-control and humiliation of others. This is not the type of behavior celebrated in most loving and supportive marriages whether they are same-sex or heterosexual.
Psychologists recognize a persistent, non pathological pattern of same-sex orientation as a “natural” phenomenon in some people. This phenomenon results from a complex interaction between genetics, hormonal influences and social context and it is causing us to question the “nature” of individuals.
“In a broken world, where life does not follow the perfect “nature” plan, God’s redemptive purpose can embrace eunuchs and barren women — as well as gay and lesbian people — and draw them into a wider and deeper divine purpose moving toward the new creation in Christ.” Chapter 11
Because we are all one in Christ.
I already know God made me for a time such as this. I know He loves me and He knows that my wife and I love Him and each other. He has not condemned us. It was good to read something from someone that knows more than me, but I already knew I was blessed because when I asked God, once I was able to say, “I am queer,” if I should divorce my wife, He said no.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for all are one in Christ.” Galatians 3: 28
I got this book from my own collection. You can get your own copy of Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson on Amazon.
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Read My Review on GoodReads:
Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I felt that Brownson gave a real effort to explain the cultural differences between the time when the bible was written and the way we live now and how we have already made many changes according to how we have adapted to change: like how we view women in leadership and slavery. I appreciate how he studied the scriptures and related articles of the time to look for connections between gender-complimentary as a requirement. He answered the question of procreation as the reason to outlaw same-sex unions, because it is not a requirement for heterosexual unions. He answered the medical proof that many queer people have not chosen their orientation and instead of requiring them to live a frustrated life where they may end up failing away to sin, that honoring loving, stable, lifelong relationships would answer the need for the lifelong love language between married partners that might lead them to another form of the new creation in Christ. It is a good start for some.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 21, 2023 | Community, Life, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community
The gift that Jesus gave us by His death, burial and resurrection is not understood nearly as big until you have read the Old Testament. There are books filled with so many laws that it is exhausting to think about how you could do much of anything else but focus on these laws all day and try to follow them. No wonder we needed Jesus. I am convinced that this is the reason that God did it this way, to prove that we needed a Savior because there was no way to keep all those rules. Human nature makes it impossible. In fact laws being as they are, cause us to need more of them and they become more important than the people they are designed to protect so then it is no longer about protecting people but about rules. Which is where Jesus had trouble with the Pharisees (Mark 7:6-7). But when we make laws to control people we are mocking Jesus on the cross.
There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. 7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all.
1 Corinthians 12: 4-7
I have read this part of scripture so many times, usually focusing on the specific types of spiritual gifts because that is very human of me to want to have the power to heal or prophecy, teach or lead, work miracles, discern or speak in tongues or translate but today, it seems very apparent to me the this scripture is not about the gift but the Giver that is in me. My Creator did not equip me with gifts so that I could bless myself but God’s agenda — to love my neighbor — all my neighbors. (Matthew 5:43-44)
I call my Creator God, because that is how I know Him, but even calling Him, Him is a taught comfort. God calls Himself Father, probably because Hew knew how many of us would need a loving and consistent Father, but since God is Spirit, He doesn’t have a gender. God is really a They or a Them and when God speaks internally the pronoun used was “Us.” (Genesis 1:26)
The same Lord who created me, created you. They love us both and offer us the same mercy and salvation — and even spiritual gifts, as the Spirit sees fit. Whether you and I agree on politics, religion or any other topic under the sun, were are all the same in the eyes of God (Galatians 3:26-28). We are called to love each other — especially those we think are our enemies (see Matthew 5:43-44 again).
There are churches that want to condemn sex education classes and ostracize transgender children in the name of protecting their children and religious freedom. These same churches house people that have sexually victimized people I know. They have taught beyond the bible and created their own doctrines. I do not hate them. I feel sorrow for them. They have missed the love of Christ somewhere and that this love is for everyone. They have let fear blind them so they do not see the sin at their feet.
Fear is the root of hate. If we are honest than the light of Christ can heal so much. His light can open our eyes to the real issues.
Sex is not a bad topic as long as we are honest about it. My parents never talked to me about sex. I am thankful for the public school system. Without the education I was given, I would have only known what my friends told me until I realized I could do my own research and most kids do not do that.
Transgender children have enough problems with body dysmorphia, most likely they don’t want to dress down for PE or take showers at school. As the fattest kid in my class, I know, I didn’t. All children need somewhere where they are not treated badly and many times home is not a safe place for trans kids.
How about Christian parents teaching their kids to extend compassion instead of judgement and fear while loving their neighbor as themselves?
Christians were called to be different and God didn’t mean being a bully. Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment and He said: “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength; This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
I was listening to a sermon on TV last week and the way the preacher described the old text was that we were supposed to go out of our way to love our neighbor, as if they were of greater value than us. That is a huge difference than what I do and I often see. Instead, I see:
‘This people honors Me with their lips but their heart is far from Me. 7 And in vain they worship Me, teaching as doctrine the commandments of men.’ Mark 7:6-7
I am so thankful that Jesus came and found me under the apple trees when I was 5-years-old. He knew I would need Him to guide me through some scary things. He knew I would be able to see, hear, smell, feel and taste things others could not and that is why He made me and chose me. This same Savior loves us all, whether we are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Trumpster, Queer, Straight, Law-abiding, Criminal, Fat or Fit, Rich or Poor or any other trait any of us might judge each other for and He gifts us as He sees fit for the moment.
You might condemn me because I am bisexual or demi-sexual or because I am happily married to a woman for 9 years on May 9th. But I know God does not. I know this because I asked Him and He told me not to divorce her. He is the true head of our household and Karen and I love it that way. When we cna’t handle each other, we hand each other off to our Maker because He knows exactly what to do.
We must, as Christians, remember that Christ came to free us from the law. Laws were meant to lead us to Christ but righteousness doesn’t come through laws, especially new laws. Church and State must be separate because when we live in the Spirit, as we are called to, the Spirit guides us to live in love, where are neighbor is more important than ourself so laws are not necessary. When we are loving God with all our heart, soul and mind and our neighbor as ourself, laws are only necessary for people that do not know Jesus. Living in any other way makes a mockery of what Jesus did on the cross. (Galatians 2:20-21)
Being a Christian is simple. Our life is about making our life about God. Our life is not about judging others.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Nov 9, 2022 | Book & Product Reviews, Food, Life, Opinions, Queer Community
…So I was digging through this bag of books my sister gave me and I found this book with colorful pictures and food on the cover and was excited to read it, thinking I would learn a lot about food but was surprised when I learned so much more. Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty is a book about just that, a journey, but not just by Twitty, but the other people he has met along the way.
Being Jewish is not just a religion, it is a culture. It is a generally led through the mother so gender is important. Most people have been led to believe that Jews are white/caucasian or Middle Eastern but there are Jews all over the world and many are Black and they have been left out of the conversation much of the time. If you’re a Black Jew, as in most situations, you are a color before you are anything else, as dictated by society’s standard.
“Your place in the mishpocheh, the family, and how you navigate that place, not just with others but within yourself — that is the bootcamp of identity, especially intersectional identity, and it’s where you find your special truth that only you can bring to the table.” Chapter 3
Mishpocheh (mesh-poh-keh) is Yiddish for kinfolk or people that are from where you are from. Yiddish is a transition language between German and the Jewish person’s original language just as Ebonics wasn’t bad English, originally, but a transition between native tongues and English. Twitty doesn’t go into detail about Ebonics beyond this but the fact that people still use Ebonics, does cause my wife’s skin to crawl because it is reminder of being enslaved that should be let go while we celebrate liberation.
One reason I love to read is that it stretches my brain. I really look forward to reading some more about Jewish culture, and then re-reading this book. Twitty uses a lot of Jewish terms without explaining them and although I did find a glossary at the end of the book, and I did Google several terms while I was reading, I think I will better appreciate this book after reading some more on the culture. He did try to explain the words that make up the main tile for the book:
“Kosher” is a standard of ritual fitness according to Jewish dietary laws and sometimes to other parts of Jewish material culture and ritual observance because G-d says so and because it connects other Jews.
“Soul” has its own connotations of soul food, soul music, soul people, soul dancing. However, soul food, has come to mean both African American vernacular cuisine and the comfort food core traditions of other folk cuisines. Soul means a certain vibe and feeling, an earthiness and peace with yourself and your people. Soul food is based on the ingredients: corn, tomatoes, peppers, pineapples and peanuts which were ready available to enslaved people.
About the People
“Loving yourself means you remember you are betzelem Elokim — made in G-d’s image — as much as any other person. It means that G-d has love for you as an LGBTQ person and that your struggles and strengths matter to our Creator. In the LGBTQ community, we have conflicts between one another as men and women, cis and trans, white — identified and people of color, disabled and not, wealthy and financially challenged. Your duty is to apply the best of Jewish values — mainly a concern for the stranger and those in need, and the urge to support the oppressed — because we were all of those in the time of our enslavement and captivity, and we are duty bound to be compassionate and loving and empathetic. Be grateful and thankful for your difference in the world and for the opportunity to feel for others what you feel for others.” Chapter 11; Mayseh; The Letter I Always Wanted to Write
The relationship between people and food helps bring groups together which is why “Jewish” food is a vast word.
Jewish people have been judged and ridiculed everywhere they have been — it is sad to know why it is easy to see why they have failed to reach out to marginalized Black folks — Jews or otherwise. To reach out to Black people would bring them into the position of abuse. White Supremacy has brought division and fear here too.
“We are here to be family to one another, to exist for the sake of others, even as others exist for our sake.” Chapter 1
I have been interested in learning about Jewish culture for some time and I am thankful that I read this book. I believe it has reminded me to learn more about this culture. As a Jesus follower, I see it as learning another part of my Savior, but also I believe we are all connected and learning about other cultures helps me to see me in the world better. There are some wonderful recipes, interesting cultural references and great personal stories throughout this book which make it a fascinating read. I highly recommend it, although it can get a little dry here and there, it is easy to overlook.
I got this book from my sister, Jamie Holloway, you can get your copy of Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty on Amazon.com.
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Read My Review on GoodReads:
Koshersoul: The Faith and Food Journey of an African American Jew by Michael W. Twitty
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I was not expecting what I got when I picked up this book but I enjoyed what I got. Twitty is a well-read person with lots of words and I did have to look several up, which I kind of enjoyed. I plan to read this book again, after I have read a few more books on Jewish culture, and have a better understanding of some of the basics. I enjoyed the many contributors and viewpoints Twitty shared and his personal point of view, it really helped me see outside of myself. I also look forward to exploring some of the recipes.
View all my reviews
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 25, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Life, Opinions, Queer Community
This weekend I was accused of being a pacifist by someone I consider a child. Not that they weren’t of adult age but they were in their early 20’s, they have never had a job because they are disabled and they still live with their parents. I remember being in my 20’s I thought I knew a lot. I knew some, but I didn’t know what I know now, which is, I know a little more and asking questions is the best way to make sure you understood what someone meant, listening is the best way to hear the whole comment and not speaking at all is sometimes wise. I never could ask this person about themselves because they shouted at me each time I spoke, even though I was talking about myself. I was very confused. But there are many ways to stand.
We were talking about police and it was clear that they did not like the police. They could not understand my stance. I have had little experience with the police but my few experiences were fine. I respect the police. I believe that it is our responsibility to remain calm when dealing with the police. I don’t know what they just dealt with. I don’t need to trigger them, even if I think they stopped me for no reason; which I have never experienced. Since I have training in trauma de-escalation it is my responsibility to use it, even when dealing with the police. I use it with every chance I need to. When people are yelling, I don’t believe they are communicating well. I don’t believe that it is the police officer’s responsibility to make me choose good behavior.
I should mention that the person was part of a group of people who all joined in, it was quite shocking to me; I have never understood group think. I am suddenly being told about systemic racism and male superiority…blah blah blah…Hello! We live in Longview, Washington. That is everywhere, not just at the police station. Eventually I stopped talking because I don’t believe in arguing with people that can’t or wont let me finish my sentences. But that accusation stuck with me. The look on their faces when I had told them that I had just spent the week reading about Gandhi and I just didn’t believe we needed to start out situations fighting…I felt really pushed out.
I have given a lot of thought to that experience. Not everyone thinks the way I do. Not everyone is blessed with the time I have had to be in therapy and to study the bible and be with God as much as I have. Not everyone has been able to read the books I have that have helped me. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson really answered a question I have had for most of my life: The meaning of life is to unlearn fear and relearn to love. It fit in what was already in my heart. It made sense. Not going to church regularly for the last 20 years has been a blessing because church politics really slows down the process of knowing Jesus. Many people don’t know there is value in these things to even aspire to them.
We are all hurting people. We all have our traumas. The people I was talking to have been hurt. Unlike myself, who didn’t know I was queer until I was almost 40, these people knew their whole lives and they have been shut out, put down and abused by our community. They have had to fight and defend themselves, for being themselves, for years. This is what they know. I understand this for being female and fat and now disabled, but it has only been the last 8 years that I have learned that it is also like this when you are queer and black and sometimes when you have a cat…That is what I felt in my spirit when I was considering my experience. Until we learn to communicate in a different way, we fight. It is just like this for gay people. I have experienced this in lots of situations with people who have experienced trauma.
I think differently because I don’t rely on newspapers and television to feed my mind. I choose positive music, books and people to talk to; I choose my news media very carefully. I talk to God all the time and He loves everyone and He shows me how to have compassion and see other perspectives. I am blessed because I can stand with Him and know I am never alone. It is easy for me to choose peace first.
After coming to peace with the people I had thought were my adversaries but were really hurt people, defending themselves, I wanted to make sure I understood the word Pacifism. I used to throw it around carelessly when I was a young woman but I have learned to not be careless with my words if I can help it.
Pacifism is a commitment to peace and an opposition to violence. Some people who aspire to pacifism believe specifically that war is wrong and that pacifism should also be used to promote social justice and human rights. Gandhi often used the word Ahimsa along with pacifism which some say is like love in action. When I read his autobiography, the best way I understood him was to say it was a perfect love and non-violence. But Gandhi is not the only voice that has told me about being a peacemaker. Jesus spoke of being a peacemaker on the Mount of Olives in Matthew, Chapter 5; Jesus said peacemakers are blessed.
There are 5 Types of Pacifism:
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- Absolute Pacifism
An absolute pacifist believes that it is never right to take part in war. Their view is that the value of human life never justifies killing a person deliberately, even in self-defence.
- Militant Pacifism
Militant pacifists will use every peaceful method at their disposal to oppose violence and war. This may include civil disobedience which may result in imprisonment or even death.
- Conditional Pacifism
Conditional pacifists are against war and violence in principle, but they accept that there may be circumstances when war may lead to less suffering.
- Selective Pacifism
Selective pacifists only oppose wars involving weapons of mass destruction (nuclear, chemical or biological weapons) because of their uniquely devastating consequences to not only humans, but to all living things. Large scale use of weapons of mass destruction also raises the prospect of the annihilation of humans as a species.
- Active Pacifism
Active pacifists advocate peace and argue against violence and war.
According to these precepts I believe that the last three are true for me; Conditional, Selective and Active Pacifism are all true for me but not only in war but in every day life. As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder I am more sensitive than some people and I don’t need a trigger. That is not anyone’s responsibility but my own but because I feel so much I see that we hurt each other so easily. Yelling is violence. Calling names is violence. Refusing to put down our phones and look at each other is neglect. Not letting someone finish their sentence and attacking them before you have heard their whole thought is abuse. We don’t think about these things because we see on TV that people are dismissive, selfish and covetous all the time so we think this is acceptable. It is but it is not beneficial to our health.
The bible says that all things are permissible but not everything is good for us (1 Corinthians 10:23). War is a good way to make money but is it good for life and Godliness? It is good for our mental health and relationships? I do believe that we live in a world of humans and humans require war sometimes. War is unavoidable at times but when I say war I am talking at many levels.
I can always tell when families yell at each other. Their kids scream and their dogs bark uncontrollably. Families that practice listening to each other, speaking kindly, listening to each other, asking questions and making time for conversation have children that are patient and dogs that can wait.
When you are angry with me if you come at me accusing me, I promise you, I will be triggered and I wont hear you because I too have my own trauma experiences. But if you come to me, calmly, and tell me I hurt your feelings we will have a conversation where we will both grown.
If you can remain calm when you are dealing with a police officer, speak kindly, do what you are told, even if you are feel disrespected, your chances of going home are higher than if you are over react or feel like you have to defend yourself now. You can sue them later. I believe there are more good police officers than bad ones; but they are human and they make mistakes, they get tired and they have bad days just like we all do. We all have a responsibility to each other. It is no one’s responsibility to control my behavior but my own and I plan to remain calm and help anyone, if I can, to remain calm too.
In times when war must happen I feel it should be swift and just. Our current situation with Ukraine has me torn. I hear from a friend that knows people that have lived there that the president is not an honest man, that what we are being told is not the truth, that although Putin is not a good man, he is not the devil he has been portrayed as either. This pains my heart. But then I look at media from other countries and it seems to say similar to what the United States media says. This is the confusion that hurts my heart. Because I know that as we pour money into assisting the Ukrainian people, we are hurting United States citizens. We are not unable to tighten our belts and help our neighbor, that is part of war but I really hope that we are helping an honorable cause because I do understand that there are things we are not privy to that may also be true for these people with ties to Ukraine that my friend knows. I can’t help think about how many nukes are in the area and how many people could be hurt. I don’t understand why we have tools of war like that. If we kill everybody, it doesn’t matter who has the power…
…isn’t that the reason that some people terrorize others, whether it is calling names, treating them poorly or killing them, for power? If that is power, I want to stand a different way. I believe in freedom; freedom of choice, speech, religion, to love who you love, to pursue happiness…The only power I want is to be able to choose to control myself.
Read More:
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 8, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community
You know when there are times when you say something in passing that leaves others thinking something you didn’t mean, but maybe there is a grain of truth in it too? That happened to me last week. But I would like to take a moment and clarify that I don’t hate Pride Month.
It was just a week ago and my sister, Jamie, sent me a message: Happy Pride Month!
I promptly responded with: Yes. We will be inundated for the month of June. Ugh!
I didn’t mean to be rude or dismissive but it just seems like Pride Months of the past have been times where flamboyant queer people flash their feathers with great gusto and conservative Christians get offended and everything is suddenly about equality and I feel a bit bombarded. But in my every day life I am happily married to my beautiful wife and we live our lives and in our reality being queer is just something we don’t worry about because we are 46 and 57-years-old and it hurts to get out of bed in the morning, its hard to remember if eating the entire egg is healthy or not and I am very glad Xavier woke Karen up because she forgot to plug her iPhone in and her alarm didn’t go off.
But you know what I have noticed that I love? I don’t feel bombarded this year because certain media outlets have gotten better at including trans people and same sex couples in commercials and TV shows (yes it could be better but I am not ungrateful) and people are safer to be proud more naturally and so Pride is what is should be, an every day thing.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain parts of The United State where queer folks have it much harder than they do in other parts of The US. I also know that in Longview, Washington gay men have it harder than queer women and no one knows what to do with trans folks here. I know this. I am sorry. I also know that ignorance and prejudice live everywhere and I regret that too but we are growing and I want to take a moment and praise Jesus that humans are hating each other a little bit less and loving each other a little bit better every day, regardless of what the media wants to force feed us. By the way…the answer to all these situations is to treat every one with respect regardless of how they dress or who they love…
Hype comes in all colors and so I know a little bit about drama and trauma, those terrible rhyming words. As a white, disabled, fat, poor, mentally ill woman from a dysfunctional family I know about prejudice and privilege. But you know what? Walking behind people you learn that other people get it too. I have a friend that was more poor than me and more terribly abused than me growing up, and walking behind her has broken my heart at times. Until she became healed through prayer and therapy, people saw that on her and it seems like she drew abuse out of them. Walking behind my wife blows my mind. I am invisible when we walk up to another black person unless they read that we are married and then I am as black as they are…but when we were first married, we were at a park in Kirkland and the looks she got from a man, wow! He was not enjoying sharing air with my obviously mixed wife and he was Asian. I really don’t understand that, but Karen says that is normal. So it never shocked me when I got the evil eye from the old white guy when I was holding my wife’s hand under the table at a restaurant. Hate comes in all forms and I never asked him what he hated about me. I am not going to worry about it either. I forgave him.
When I growing up I don’t remember a lot of talk about queer folks but I do know that when I looked it up in the bible by myself, I understood it was an abomination. This was hard because I was having feelings about a lady that worked a diner I went to a lot. I didn’t understand those feelings and she enjoyed setting me up to see her with another woman, so I am pretty sure, she felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me uncomfortable so it was really easy for me to shut that part of myself off.
I had always found both sexes attractive so I thought I just saw beauty in all people. My nana had taught me to not waste my affections on people I wouldn’t marry and my pastor had taught me that if a person wasn’t my spouse, they were someone else’s and I should wait for marriage so all these things helped me justify why I didn’t think about people the way my friends did. They were horn-balls! Now I know that I am demi-sexual and so it is normal that I would not be sexually attracted to someone unless I was intimately connected with them emotionally…which explained the very short list…which my wife is very happy about. I am too.
I wish I had waited for marriage. Not for religious reasons but for emotional ones. It is just deeper and safer and better with someone you know wants to be there every day for the rest of your life. Maybe that isn’t important to some people, but it is to me.
I was married for 1 year before I came to terms with the fact that I was queer. I remember telling people that I didn’t feel gay. I just married my best friend. One year in and I had a good cry and talk with God and the main message I got when I asked Him if I should divorce my wife was, “No!” When I asked Him for scripture to back Him up and He said: Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
I said some stupid things that first year. Things I wish I hadn’t said because now I understand I was ignorant and maybe even hurtful to people that hadn’t come out yet. But I have forgiven myself and if I get the chance to step back those statements, I will because I understand now, that I was scared and ignorant. The men in the bible were doing abominable things. They were raping and murdering people out of hatred and control. They were not in loving relationships or even consensual ones. That was the abomination.
Abusing people is never ok. NEVER OK. This is what we should hate. Not a month where we celebrate people that want to be accepted and seen.
I learned a new word today: Heterosexism. It is similar in power to Homophobia but I think it is bigger. The word Heterosexism first showed up in writings by Craig Rodwell, a gay rights activist, in 1971. Heterosexism is a belief that female-male sexuality and relationships are the only norm and that makes them superior. This attitude extends beyond the bedroom, but also in the workplace, medical facilities and every part of society. No wonder people are so offended by Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer.
But back to Homophobia, this term was coined by a straight psychologist, named George Weinberg, in late 1960’s. He was probably self-diagnosing himself, because this term describes someone who is afraid to be in the vicinity of someone who is queer, their culture and behaviors.
I am glad that my fear is going away regarding people. You know who scares me now? Not LBGTQIA+ people. Closed-minded people. People that think it is ok to hurt people for any reason at all. I have met some of their victims and it makes me want to more than pray, but that is what God said to do and I know He listens to my prayers.
If you are hurting and need support for issues related to coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm and more contact LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564
As for me, I am enjoying a quiet Pride Month but I am also enjoying posts from friends that are going all out. I am happy for them. However you are celebrating, I hope you enjoy yourself and know that I know you are valuable and beautiful and loved. Happy Pride!
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Read More at:
- Definitions: Homophobia, Heterosexism, and Sexual Prejudice by Gregory M. Herek, PhD
- Heterosexism from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia by multiple authors
- Living With Social Anxiety Disorder as an LGBTQ+ Person By Arlin Cuncic, Medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS and Fact checked by Karen Cilli for VeryWell Mind on October 3, 2021
- What is Homophobia? By Arlin Cuncic and Medically reviewed by Aron Janssen, MD for VeryWell Mind on February 8, 2022
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
I have to tell you this is the best drug I have ever tried! The best because it wasn’t a drug or a person with a degree that didn’t understand how complicated I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It was me and God going through the old filing cabinet and clearing out some of the junk to make room for greater realization of my salvation.
In 2008 I had landed what I thought would be my perfect job as a website designer at a company in Longview. I was happy about this because building websites is what I really loved to do. I got training on the job, which was important because Longview really has trouble keeping up with technology and even the college didn’t have what I needed for this profession. PCS had recently been sold to a corporation and I was miserable there; I had never been a number before and the management hated my opinions. Karen was with the company only a short time too before she was let go…they didn’t appreciate people with passion and ideas. The people that owned the marketing company I worked for also owned a small newspaper and they hired Karen on as a salesperson…she needed more freedom than they could give her so that didn’t last long either…
The next month I heard that it was voted into law that it was illegal for people to camp in Longview. It tore me up inside because homeless people don’t disappear at night. With all the services available in Longview I also felt there was a lack of connection and relationship that was really hurting us. 
Since we began our companies, Karen had technically been homeless more than once; I would have been homeless too if my mother had not allowed me to stay with her. We had started something on an impulse and as with every jump we make, we had learned to roll with the punches and most of the time we were broke.
that I had failed. I felt that because my body couldn’t heal on its own I had become a failure. After a certain number of years my pride also stopped me because I didn’t want to admit to anyone how long I had known about this problem. I wore long skirts all the time so no one noticed the swelling. I had always been a little compulsive so it was easy for me to tell people that I needed to cover up. It had always hurt to be touched; this wasn’t a lie.
The biggest thing that happened in the last few months is that I want to live. I have found someone I can trust and then we found some more people to be friends with. I love my new doctor.
But it was the right thing to do. I know I was made for this path. I know that God is using this too for his kingdom.
heterosexual or homosexual are weird to me. But if people want me in that box and it helps them feel safe, or better I will be fine with it. My older step-sister said I would lose some people in my life, that I would be condemned by some, that I would be embraced by some. She was right. But as long as Karen is holding my hand, loving me out loud, I am ok with that too.
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