Are You a TERF?

by | Oct 24, 2022 | Education, Opinions, Queer Community

Recently I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a new friend on Messenger that helped me grow a new wrinkle on my brain, the one place I want as many wrinkles as possible. Her name isn’t really Susan, but I wasn’t sure she wanted me to share her real name so I gave her a name that people, for some reason, often mistake my name for:

Susan: Are You are TERF?

Me: I don’t understand. What do you mean?

Susan: There is a certain comedian that had gone out of their way to include transphobic material in their comedy routines. A TERF is a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Me: “Well, I didn’t know they did that. And I am not judgmental towards anybody in the family. I just agreed with the statement, in this scenario. They are also an atheist and I don’t agree with them on that level either. I don’t think I will ever meet them so there is no chance we will be friends, but if we do meet, I will ask them why they pick on such beautiful people just for money. It only makes them look small. Do I need to take the post down?”

Susan: “It would make me more comfortable if you did. This post resonates with me on the terms of some of the transphobic things they have said.’

Me: “Thank you for telling me about your feelings and this term.”

Susan: “I’m glad we could have some amount of dialogue over it and move forward.”

Me: “I am too. The post is gone.”

Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism is a form of transphobia or specifically trans-misogyny that targets trans women and trans-feminine people.

There does seem to be a group of lesbians and radical feminists that believe that including trans-females “erases” them or makes them less relevant,. There are events in Europe where trans-females have been excluded which have caused angst with groups that support both lesbians and trans-females.

In the purest form of feminism, all genders have equal rights and opportunities and there is respect for diversity, experiences, identities, knowledge, strength and striving for women, and everyone to realize their full rights.

Some feminists do not see transgender females as women; they feel as though since this group of people were assigned male at birth, they are privy to male privilege and can’t fully appreciate the subordinate social position of women in society. These women believe that by choosing to live as a female, transgender females are exercising another form of male entitlement. This reason has allowed them to exclude trans women from womanhood and women-only spaces, creating a sex-based oppression.

These radical feminists are losing footing in the United States as annual events are seeing artists boycott events that exclude transgender women. One trans woman that was excluded from Michfest in 2014 said, “it’s not really wanting to invade space. It’s a deep-seated wanting to belong.” But she added, “if you’re identifying with women, shouldn’t you be empathizing with women?” What is a Women; The New Yorker

Why is is wrong to look at only biological gender as a marker for gender? Because there are many differences that make the female experience different. Race, sexuality and social status make a difference in the experiences of womanhood, let alone the binary construct that gender dwells on. Trans females and trans-feminine people face very serious oppression and suffer with high rates of violence, homelessness, poverty, sexual assault and healthcare discrimination. Women’s spaces and resources need to be available to them, including shelters, survivor support, health care, and bathrooms all need to be made available to every person; trans-men may need pregnancy and related services as well. By alienating trans-females, cis women that are more masculine have been targeted because people have assumed they are trans.

I am really glad that Susan reached out to me and not just because we got to share really cute pictures of our cats after we were done talking about TERFs but because she helped me learn about a topic I wouldn’t have learned about otherwise. When I referred to “the family” I was talking to all queer folks whether they are an L-G-B-T-Q-I or A, we need to stick together and support each other not just because we suffer persecution sometimes but because we are fellow humans. As humans we can all relate to each other, knowing that we all suffer, we all want to grow and we all seek joy.

I wish you well.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

There Are Many Ways to Stand

by | Jul 25, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Life, Opinions, Queer Community

This weekend I was accused of being a pacifist by someone I consider a child. Not that they weren’t of adult age but they were in their early 20’s, they have never had a job because they are disabled and they still live with their parents. I remember being in my 20’s I thought I knew a lot. I knew some, but I didn’t know what I know now, which is, I know a little more and asking questions is the best way to make sure you understood what someone meant, listening is the best way to hear the whole comment and not speaking at all is sometimes wise. I never could ask this person about themselves because they shouted at me each time I spoke, even though I was talking about myself. I was very confused. But there are many ways to stand.

We were talking about police and it was clear that they did not like the police. They could not understand my stance. I have had little experience with the police but my few experiences were fine. I respect the police. I believe that it is our responsibility to remain calm when dealing with the police. I don’t know what they just dealt with. I don’t need to trigger them, even if I think they stopped me for no reason; which I have never experienced. Since I have training in trauma de-escalation it is my responsibility to use it, even when dealing with the police. I use it with every chance I need to. When people are yelling, I don’t believe they are communicating well. I don’t believe that it is the police officer’s responsibility to make me choose good behavior.

I should mention that the person was part of a group of people who all joined in, it was quite shocking to me; I have never understood group think. I am suddenly being told about systemic racism and male superiority…blah blah blah…Hello! We live in Longview, Washington. That is everywhere, not just at the police station. Eventually I stopped talking because I don’t believe in arguing with people that can’t or wont let me finish my sentences. But that accusation stuck with me. The look on their faces when I had told them that I had just spent the week reading about Gandhi and I just didn’t believe we needed to start out situations fighting…I felt really pushed out.

I have given a lot of thought to that experience. Not everyone thinks the way I do. Not everyone is blessed with the time I have had to be in therapy and to study the bible and be with God as much as I have. Not everyone has been able to read the books I have that have helped me. A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson really answered a question I have had for most of my life: The meaning of life is to unlearn fear and relearn to love. It fit in what was already in my heart. It made sense. Not going to church regularly for the last 20 years has been a blessing because church politics really slows down the process of knowing Jesus. Many people don’t know there is value in these things to even aspire to them.

We are all hurting people. We all have our traumas. The people I was talking to have been hurt. Unlike myself, who didn’t know I was queer until I was almost 40, these people knew their whole lives and they have been shut out, put down and abused by our community. They have had to fight and defend themselves, for being themselves, for years. This is what they know. I understand this for being female and fat and now disabled, but it has only been the last 8 years that I have learned that it is also like this when you are queer and black and sometimes when you have a cat…That is what I felt in my spirit when I was considering my experience. Until we learn to communicate in a different way, we fight. It is just like this for gay people. I have experienced this in lots of situations with people who have experienced trauma.

I think differently because I don’t rely on newspapers and television to feed my mind. I choose positive music, books and people to talk to; I choose my news media very carefully. I talk to God all the time and He loves everyone and He shows me how to have compassion and see other perspectives. I am blessed because I can stand with Him and know I am never alone. It is easy for me to choose peace first.

After coming to peace with the people I had thought were my adversaries but were really hurt people, defending themselves, I wanted to make sure I understood the word Pacifism. I used to throw it around carelessly when I was a young woman but I have learned to not be careless with my words if I can help it.

Pacifism is a commitment to peace and an opposition to violence. Some people who aspire to pacifism believe specifically that war is wrong and that pacifism should also be used to promote social justice and human rights. Gandhi often used the word Ahimsa along with pacifism which some say is like love in action. When I read his autobiography, the best way I understood him was to say it was a perfect love and non-violence. But Gandhi is not the only voice that has told me about being a peacemaker. Jesus spoke of being a peacemaker on the Mount of Olives in Matthew, Chapter 5; Jesus said peacemakers are blessed.

There are 5 Types of Pacifism:

    1. Absolute Pacifism
      An absolute pacifist believes that it is never right to take part in war. Their view is that the value of human life never justifies killing a person deliberately, even in self-defence.
    2. Militant Pacifism
      Militant pacifists will use every peaceful method at their disposal to oppose violence and war. This may include civil disobedience which may result in imprisonment or even death.
    3. Conditional Pacifism
      Conditional pacifists are against war and violence in principle, but they accept that there may be circumstances when war may lead to less suffering.
    4. Selective Pacifism
      Selective pacifists only oppose wars involving weapons of mass destruction (nuclear, chemical or biological weapons) because of their uniquely devastating consequences to not only humans, but to all living things. Large scale use of weapons of mass destruction also raises the prospect of the annihilation of humans as a species.
    5. Active Pacifism
      Active pacifists advocate peace and argue against violence and war.

According to these precepts I believe that the last three are true for me; Conditional, Selective and Active Pacifism are all true for me but not only in war but in every day life. As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder I am more sensitive than some people and I don’t need a trigger. That is not anyone’s responsibility but my own but because I feel so much I see that we hurt each other so easily. Yelling is violence. Calling names is violence. Refusing to put down our phones and look at each other is neglect. Not letting someone finish their sentence and attacking them before you have heard their whole thought is abuse. We don’t think about these things because we see on TV that people are dismissive, selfish and covetous all the time so we think this is acceptable. It is but it is not beneficial to our health.

The bible says that all things are permissible but not everything is good for us (1 Corinthians 10:23). War is a good way to make money but is it good for life and Godliness? It is good for our mental health and relationships? I do believe that we live in a world of humans and humans require war sometimes. War is unavoidable at times but when I say war I am talking at many levels.

I can always tell when families yell at each other. Their kids scream and their dogs bark uncontrollably. Families that practice listening to each other, speaking kindly, listening to each other, asking questions and making time for conversation have children that are patient and dogs that can wait.

When you are angry with me if you come at me accusing me, I promise you, I will be triggered and I wont hear you because I too have my own trauma experiences. But if you come to me, calmly, and tell me I hurt your feelings we will have a conversation where we will both grown.

If you can remain calm when you are dealing with a police officer, speak kindly, do what you are told, even if you are feel disrespected, your chances of going home are higher than if you are over react or feel like you have to defend yourself now. You can sue them later. I believe there are more good police officers than bad ones; but they are human and they make mistakes, they get tired and they have bad days just like we all do. We all have a responsibility to each other. It is no one’s responsibility to control my behavior but my own and I plan to remain calm and help anyone, if I can, to remain calm too.

In times when war must happen I feel it should be swift and just. Our current situation with Ukraine has me torn. I hear from a friend that knows people that have lived there that the president is not an honest man, that what we are being told is not the truth, that although Putin is not a good man, he is not the devil he has been portrayed as either. This pains my heart. But then I look at media from other countries and it seems to say similar to what the United States media says. This is the confusion that hurts my heart. Because I know that as we pour money into assisting the Ukrainian people, we are hurting United States citizens. We are not unable to tighten our belts and help our neighbor, that is part of war but I really hope that we are helping an honorable cause because I do understand that there are things we are not privy to that may also be true for these people with ties to Ukraine that my friend knows. I can’t help think about how many nukes are in the area and how many people could be hurt. I don’t understand why we have tools of war like that. If we kill everybody, it doesn’t matter who has the power…

…isn’t that the reason that some people terrorize others, whether it is calling names, treating them poorly or killing them, for power? If that is power, I want to stand a different way. I believe in freedom; freedom of choice, speech, religion, to love who you love, to pursue happiness…The only power I want is to be able to choose to control myself.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.

If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

 

I Don’t Hate Pride Month

by | Jun 8, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

You know when there are times when you say something in passing that leaves others thinking something you didn’t mean, but maybe there is a grain of truth in it too? That happened to me last week. But I would like to take a moment and clarify that I don’t hate Pride Month.

It was just a week ago and my sister, Jamie, sent me a message: Happy Pride Month!

I promptly responded with: Yes. We will be inundated for the month of June. Ugh!

I didn’t mean to be rude or dismissive but it just seems like Pride Months of the past have been times where flamboyant queer people flash their feathers with great gusto and conservative Christians get offended and everything is suddenly about equality and I feel a bit bombarded. But in my every day life I am happily married to my beautiful wife and we live our lives and in our reality being queer is just something we don’t worry about because we are 46 and 57-years-old and it hurts to get out of bed in the morning, its hard to remember if eating the entire egg is healthy or not and I am very glad Xavier woke Karen up because she forgot to plug her iPhone in and her alarm didn’t go off.

But you know what I have noticed that I love? I don’t feel bombarded this year because certain media outlets have gotten better at including trans people and same sex couples in commercials and TV shows (yes it could be better but I am not ungrateful) and people are safer to be proud more naturally and so Pride is what is should be, an every day thing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know that in certain parts of The United State where queer folks have it much harder than they do in other parts of The US. I also know that in Longview, Washington gay men have it harder than queer women and no one knows what to do with trans folks here. I know this. I am sorry. I also know that ignorance and prejudice live everywhere and I regret that too but we are growing and I want to take a moment and praise Jesus that humans are hating each other a little bit less and loving each other a little bit better every day, regardless of what the media wants to force feed us. By the way…the answer to all these situations is to treat every one with respect regardless of how they dress or who they love…

Hype comes in all colors and so I know a little bit about drama and trauma, those terrible rhyming words. As a white, disabled, fat, poor, mentally ill woman from a dysfunctional family I know about prejudice and privilege. But you know what? Walking behind people you learn that other people get it too. I have a friend that was more poor than me and more terribly abused than me growing up, and walking behind her has broken my heart at times. Until she became healed through prayer and therapy, people saw that on her and it seems like she drew abuse out of them. Walking behind my wife blows my mind. I am invisible when we walk up to another black person unless they read that we are married and then I am as black as they are…but when we were first married, we were at a park in Kirkland and the looks she got from a man, wow! He was not enjoying sharing air with my obviously mixed wife and he was Asian. I really don’t understand that, but Karen says that is normal. So it never shocked me when I got the evil eye from the old white guy when I was holding my wife’s hand under the table at a restaurant. Hate comes in all forms and I never asked him what he hated about me. I am not going to worry about it either. I forgave him.

When I growing up I don’t remember a lot of talk about queer folks but I do know that when I looked it up in the bible by myself, I understood it was an abomination. This was hard because I was having feelings about a lady that worked a diner I went to a lot. I didn’t understand those feelings and she enjoyed setting me up to see her with another woman, so I am pretty sure, she felt what I was feeling and wanted to make me uncomfortable so it was really easy for me to shut that part of myself off.

I had always found both sexes attractive so I thought I just saw beauty in all people. My nana had taught me to not waste my affections on people I wouldn’t marry and my pastor had taught me that if a person wasn’t my spouse, they were someone else’s and I should wait for marriage so all these things helped me justify why I didn’t think about people the way my friends did. They were horn-balls! Now I know that I am demi-sexual and so it is normal that I would not be sexually attracted to someone unless I was intimately connected with them emotionally…which explained the very short list…which my wife is very happy about. I am too.

I wish I had waited for marriage. Not for religious reasons but for emotional ones. It is just deeper and safer and better with someone you know wants to be there every day for the rest of your life. Maybe that isn’t important to some people, but it is to me.

I was married for 1 year before I came to terms with the fact that I was queer. I remember telling people that I didn’t feel gay. I just married my best friend. One year in and I had a good cry and talk with God and the main message I got when I asked Him if I should divorce my wife was, “No!” When I asked Him for scripture to back Him up and He said: Galatians 3:28

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

I said some stupid things that first year. Things I wish I hadn’t said because now I understand I was ignorant and maybe even hurtful to people that hadn’t come out yet. But I have forgiven myself and if I get the chance to step back those statements, I will because I understand now, that I was scared and ignorant. The men in the bible were doing abominable things. They were raping and murdering people out of hatred and control. They were not in loving relationships or even consensual ones. That was the abomination.

Abusing people is never ok. NEVER OK. This is what we should hate. Not a month where we celebrate people that want to be accepted and seen.

I learned a new word today: Heterosexism. It is similar in power to Homophobia but I think it is bigger. The word Heterosexism first showed up in writings by Craig Rodwell, a gay rights activist, in 1971. Heterosexism is a belief that female-male sexuality and relationships are the only norm and that makes them superior. This attitude extends beyond the bedroom, but also in the workplace, medical facilities and every part of society. No wonder people are so offended by Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer.

But back to Homophobia, this term was coined by a straight psychologist, named George Weinberg, in late 1960’s. He was probably self-diagnosing himself, because this term describes someone who is afraid to be in the vicinity of someone who is queer, their culture and behaviors.

I am glad that my fear is going away regarding people. You know who scares me now? Not LBGTQIA+ people. Closed-minded people. People that think it is ok to hurt people for any reason at all. I have met some of their victims and it makes me want to more than pray, but that is what God said to do and I know He listens to my prayers.

If you are hurting and need support for issues related to coming out, relationships, bullying, self-harm and more contact LGBT National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564

As for me, I am enjoying a quiet Pride Month but I am also enjoying posts from friends that are going all out. I am happy for them. However you are celebrating, I hope you enjoy yourself and know that I know you are valuable and beautiful and loved. Happy Pride!

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Read More at:

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Being a Victim

by | Jun 2, 2022 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

I have a lot of labels I could wear. If you read my blog, you are aware of them. I have several chronic diagnoses that I deal with every day. But as I am healing from some of the damage from my past, I realize that I can stop being a victim. Victim? Who is hurting me? Well, in reality in every relationship where there is a victim, both the victim and the victimizer are the victim and the victimizer. That is a lot to swallow but hear me out.

Yes, I am an emotional neglect survivor. I have lived through some trauma both real and imagined, in my mentally ill mind, before I found the proper treatment. I come from people that know trauma. I think that is pretty common. But that is not who I have to stay. I can choose to be a woman that is healing and learning to be a positive thinker, a person that is forgiving as issues arise and a person that is trying to live in the moment instead of staying tied to the past or avoiding now by daydreaming about what could happen. I don’t want to be a victim anymore, to anyone, especially myself.

When I am a victim, I become defensive. This is a natural response. In my retaliation, I vindicate myself by hurting my victimizer, therefore I make them a victim and I take on their role as the victimizer. it sounds childish and it really is. I want to grow up. I don’t want to act like a child. I am 46 years old and I want to act like a caring, intelligent woman. Because that is what I am.

Caring, intelligent women, use their brains. They don’t have to tear people apart with manipulation and rejection, they can set healthy boundaries and say yes or no, depending on their own limits and they can choose how much time they give to loved ones that are not making choices to get well or to honor their boundaries.

When you choose to stop being a victim, you might entice some of your loved ones to make healthier choices to work toward their own wellness and that is something to celebrate, but you might not and that is hard. Being a grown up means we have to accept each for who we are and if I choose A and you choose B and B hurts me, I might have to limit my time with you or not have you be part of my life at all. That is not being a victim, that is setting proper boundaries for my mental and physical health.

As I began facing my trauma, I came to a point where I needed validation for my abuse. I wish I had left that between me and my therapist, God and the few friends that weren’t offended to hear my stories. Instead I chose to post things on Facebook and my blog. It felt good to write it out. Maybe I could have just written it and printed it and stuck it in a box to burn later but I posted it. At the time, I thought I was being careful to not name names but some people knew who I was talking about and they printed it and sent it to specific people and it just stirred up angst between me and others.I felt validated for a moment, even for several moments but now I wish I had kept it between me and God, my therapist and my few friends. It didn’t add anything to my life.

I am going to chase a rabbit really quick here…just a short jaunt…when I was 25 years old, I realized I was a 20 year old Christian but I felt like a toddler. So I told God I wanted Him to catch me up. God is always willing to do what we ask and the next 7 years were really intense. Basically I stopped going to church, ran every thought and action through Galatians 2:20 and told God to prove Himself.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Since I wasn’t going to a regular church, I ended up going to a small group that was basically saying that everything was finished on the cross and by the resurrection of Christ we were now a new creation. The renewing of the mind was this: that we had parts of ourself that had been forced to fracture off to handle the scary and traumatic parts of our life that were not saved and it was our job to bring them into the part of ourselves that knew Jesus, while also bringing around any other parts of our mind that didn’t realize we were a new creation. It fit well with my goal of seeing the world through Galatians 2:20 and I saw tremendous amounts of healing and restoration in my life. I was able to forgive a lot and God did prove Himself, although I have no proof to prove Him to you…but, I believe that is the way He likes it. God likes to chase down His kids.

Since that time, I have gone through many other experiences. While in this group I did deal with a terrible break up and after the group stopped meeting I kept my friendship with the people and would get together with some of them and we would talk about issues we were going through and I talked about feelings and fears of feelings I had for Karen. I believed being queer was bad because that is how it was taught to me and the leaders of the group agreed with me.

I lost those friends when I married Karen. They didn’t feel their ministries would be strong if they were connected to anyone living our lifestyle. They weren’t the only people I lost when I married Karen but I can understand why they made their choice and I respect it and in reality it is good to know who can’t stand behind you anymore.

So now that I have finished chasing that rabbit, I want to tell you what I learned while I was growing in that group and have been rekindling while I have been reading Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love and The Gift of Change. Forgiveness is key. Forgiveness comes in waves and layers. Forgiveness is probably never-ending. Forgiveness has everything to do with untying myself from people that I hurt, that hurt me, that want me, that don’t want me, and most importantly giving all authority to God who is the only one strong enough to handle all the mess we can make of each other.

What does that mean:

  • I might have to forgive someone for the same thing, any number of times.
  • I might need to forgive myself for the same thing, any number of times.
  • I can’t fix anyone, especially myself.
  • I don’t have to carry my pain, but I can if I want to and keep hurting, or I can hand it to God and He will take it as many times as I take it back from Him and then hand it back to Him.
  • I am a perfect creation made by God and that is how He sees me and if I choose to act like a fool, that is only on me but I can stop anytime I want….Hurting people who hurt me only makes me look like someone I am not, a fool.

So what do I know? I know that I have to take my medication or I get sick in the head or my body. I have to go to my doctor and therapy appointments to make sure that everything is working right and my wellness plan is still on the right path. I need daily time with God or I fall over and sometimes I need it more than others and since He said to pray without ceasing I can talk to Him while I cook dinner and He is ok with that. I want to unlearn fear and learn positive thinking so I need to read and watch positive things and limit media with violence and other things that don’t add anything to me. I need to apologize when I know I hurt someone and try to stop that behavior. I need to be loving toward Karen and Xavier because that is how we like to be treated in this house full of stubborn tank-heads.

…and most of all…Nothing can separate me from the love of God. He is with me and for me and He knows I am married to the love of my life and we are queer and that is something that makes me want to smile and I need to try to smile and laugh more because it feels good. Happy Pride Month!

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

How Do You Identify?

by | Apr 27, 2022 | About Summer, Community, Education, Life, Queer Community

I don’t talk a lot about my membership in the Queer Community because my realization that I am part of it is so new to me. I know some people cringe at the word queer but LGBTQIA+ is hard to say and even harder to remember and my wife, Karen G Clemenson, had an aneurysm many years ago and some things just don’t stick easily with her so I made the decision that we would use the word queer and if someone wants to know why we use it we can say we are too old to remember all the letters. But truly, even though we tend to be more conservative than most of our fellow queer folks, we were voting for same sex marriage long before we even knew we wanted to marry each other.

All the letters have a meaning though and they are all important:

  • L – Lesbian (women who are attracted to women sexually)
  • G – Gay (men who are attracted to men sexually)
  • B – Bisexual (a person that is attracted to both men and women sexually)
  • T – Transsexual (a person that experiences a gender identity that is different than the one assigned to them at birth; this has nothing to do with their sexual orientation)
  • Q – Queer (umbrella term for sexual or gender minorities)
  • I – Intersex (people who were born with several sex characteristics including chromosome patterns, gonads or genitals)
  • A – Asexual (a person with a low or absent interest in sexual desire towards others)
  • + – (Anyone else including Pansexual; a person that may be attracted to men, women or trans people, Polyamorous; multiple romantic relationships with the consent of everyone involved…and anyone not listed…)

I am actual Demisexual which technically falls under the scope of Asexual. Basically demisexual people do not feel romantic interest until a strong emotional bond has been built. For me, gender doesn’t matter but I am never in a hurry to develop a sexual relationship and I would never consider a relationship beyond my marriage. I am not wired that way. My wife really likes that about me.

When it comes to gender I am a Cis-Female. That means I was identified as female at birth and I agree that I am a female. But I know people that were born one gender who identify as another gender. Like my friend Rae. Rae was born female but now is Non-Binary. Rae’s pronouns are now They/Them. One of Karen’s clients was born male but is now in the midst of transitioning to female. This client is a Trans-Female and her pronouns are She and Her.

Today I Want to Talk More About Transsexual People

Confusing, isn’t it? Don’t worry. Rae promises me it is much less hard for me to learn their new pronouns than it is for them to transition. I trust them that they would know better than I would. You see, I don’t have to understand. I just have to love them and treat them with respect. Even if I mess up and use the wrong pronouns, if I just apologize and treat them kindly, usually people are going to forgive me because I am not judging them or treating them poorly, I am not scared of them and I am looking them in the eye and trying to do my best to connect with them.

Did you know that Washington State has anti-discrimination laws that clearly prohibits unjust or prejudicial treatment based on gender expression or identity? These laws protect people in places that serve the public like public schools, restaurants, hotels, renting, buying and selling homes, employment (especially state, municipal and private workplaces with more than 8 employees), credit transactions and insurance transactions. These laws protect people from violence and threats, harassment, intimidation and bullying motivated by gender expression or actual and perceived gender identity.

Trans-Students have the right to join in and play in interscholastic athletics according to the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association, which states that students should be allowed to participate in physical education and athletic activities in a manner that is consistent with their gender identity. If school leadership is not supporting their students they are violating the Equal Protection Clause of the federal Constitution, where schools are responsible for protecting the rights of all students.

If your school is not supporting you or your student you have options please see:

As you may have guessed it, I was fueled by something to write this article. I have a friend named, Roger, who recently shared with me that he has a friend that is having to travel outside his school district because he is not being supported at his school and The Daily News won’t write anything about this story. I told Roger I would, but I got impatient. So I started doing a little research and found out that our state has been working hard to make it a safer place for Trans and Queer folks to live…

In February of 2016 Senate Bill 6443 was defeated in Washington State, making it illegal to harassing based on gender identity or sexual orientation, give LGBT employees fewer benefits or deny people access to restrooms consistent to their gender identity under the law.

In April of 2021 Senate Bill 5313 was passed banning health insurance discrimination. This law made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse covering gender confirming treatments to minors on the basis that they felt it was for cosmetic reasons. This is important because a study found that the trans population could be subject to minority stress and societal stigma which is the cause of mental health disorders without the proper support.

These are all great steps forward for all of us because if one person is made free, we are all made more free and freedom is a beautiful thing. It is what so many United States military have laid down their lives for and I would never want to cheapen that by someone who is afraid. I understand that some people might be afraid of things you don’t understand or know about so I suggest that you ask questions. You can ask me questions. If I don’t know the answers, I know where to find them. RAINS is a great resource and their board is made of kind and loving people that want to support us all with education and resources.

When it comes down to it. Shouldn’t we try to make it easier and not harder for our kids to get a good education, no matter what their gender identity is?

More Information

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

by | Mar 25, 2016 | Opinions, Queer Community

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do you not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
Lord I am so blessed and thankful for Your salvation. Thank You that You chose me and pursued me every day of my life. As unworthy as I am; You are diligent to call me Your own.
Lord, considering that Your Word declares that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of God, You know this is my “thorn in my side.” With my whole being, I do not want to cut myself off from You and yet even as I married Karen, You continue to beckon to me. You remain faithful to me. You even bless my requests that You help me love and care for Karen and be an honorable wife.
The God I read about in the Old Testament doesn’t seem to be the God that cherishes me and never leaves me; Who always shows me that You are loving me and guiding me and quick to remind me that I am washed, sanctified and justified by Your Spirit. Among many things, I have to file away with the things that are only known by God until You choose to reveal them.
I am truly humbled by You. There are times I want to rejoice, yet I am speechless—like right now.
Psalm 95:1-2
OH come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
With all the labels that the world wants to put on me: Female, Caucasian, American, Obese, Chronically Ill, Gay, Independent…and so many others…Beloved Child of God and Wife seem to be the only ones You choose to keep at the forefront of my mind.
In a world that wants to judge me and condemn me and maybe even rightly, according to Your Word, shun me, You are the first to lift me up and call me Yours. Even in my own mind, I understand I am not worthy. But You remind me that I am Yours and You choose to save me and know me.
Psalm 21:6
For You have made him most blessed forever; You have made him exceedingly glad with Your presence.
Lord please test with Your fire, my household, now rather than on the Day, so that we may replace the wood, hay and straw with Your presence, which is so much better than gold, silver or precious stones.
Please continue to help me become more like You and love others as You do; not with my heart, mind or body, but with Yours.
Isaiah 12:2-3
Behold, God is my salvation. I will trust and not be afraid; For YAH, the Lord is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation.

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.

Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:

Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.

I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.

I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.

Amen

The Lord is with you always.

I Married My Best Friend

by | May 19, 2014 | Adventures, Queer Community

When I was a girl, I thought I would never marry. After watching my parents have an unhealthy marriage and an emotionally traumatizing divorce I wasn’t interested. Knowing that my great-grandmother, grandmother and mother, who also are first born daughters, were divorced, I thought it was something that you could pass down from generation to generation and in my heart I vowed I would never take the plunge.

It was easy to avoid it. I was raised to serve my family, my job and the god I was taught in church. I grew up to be a workaholic and a cynic. My God has always been at work in me, though.

Since I was 5 and He came to introduce Himself to me, when I was in back yard playing by myself, I had always known He was there. There were times that I knew that He was the parent that taught me the most because my parents were busy with work or my sisters. It was easy to leave me alone; I was strong, stubborn, responsible and always seemed to know what I was doing. But I was also afraid, too sensitive, too emotional and anxious and even though I think I told them I was having trouble, it was always God who would tell how to do things…if I wasn’t caught up in my emotions and unable to hear Him.

When I was 25 I said something different to God. I had failed with trying to work with doctors and counselors. Medications didn’t work to take away the things that tormented me. So finally I realized I was a twenty-year-old Christian that acted like a toddler. I started measuring my hangups, fears, emotions and expectations by my death in Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

I have to tell you this is the best drug I have ever tried! The best because it wasn’t a drug or a person with a degree that didn’t understand how complicated I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally. It was me and God going through the old filing cabinet and clearing out some of the junk to make room for greater realization of my salvation.

The sometimes mean, selfish, angry and suicidal woman was going away and she was being replaced with someone that listened, showed compassion, cared about people, wasn’t so greedy and wanted to live…

Then I met Karen.

It was October 8, 2003 and I had just been hired at Professional Communication Services; an answering service. During my orientation I walked into the call center and there was this wild-eyed, exuberant black woman with a pick stuck in her hair, who looked like she wanted to attack me…at least that is what I thought. After she was reprimanded by our boss, who didn’t want to lose me, she toned it down and we started becoming friends.

We have gone through a lot with each other. In 2006 I had the worst breakup of my life, which threw me back into some of my old coping skills, but I still graduated with my AA in Business Management because as I was about to throw in the towel, Karen had an aneurism. Great friends had enough sense to take her straight to Vancouver instead of bringing her to our less than the best hospital in Longview. The doctors there were able to bring her back to life. This is what fueled my continuation of the journey I had been trying to make for 13 years. Karen wanted me to have that degree more than I did and I thought if she had anther episode and couldn’t be brought back, I wanted to make sure she knew that I wanted her to be happy.

In 2008 I had landed what I thought would be my perfect job as a website designer at a company in Longview. I was happy about this because building websites is what I really loved to do. I got training on the job, which was important because Longview really has trouble keeping up with technology and even the college didn’t have what I needed for this profession. PCS had recently been sold to a corporation and I was miserable there; I had never been a number before and the management hated my opinions. Karen was with the company only a short time too before she was let go…they didn’t appreciate people with passion and ideas. The people that owned the marketing company I worked for also owned a small newspaper and they hired Karen on as a salesperson…she needed more freedom than they could give her so that didn’t last long either…

In 2010 Karen shared with me that her dad was dying. After all the years we had been friends, she really hadn’t told me much about herself. She was content with listening and being excited about my ideas and I was still a little too selfish to shut up and let her talk. She had never really talked a lot about her family, but she finally had a reason to go home. I notified our friends and we all chipped in to pay for her flight home to North Carolina. She changed during that visit home.

Karen finally told me her dream. My friend wanted to become a videographer.

What is a videographer? Someone that shoots people and events with a camera and then makes it into something spectacular. Karen had a partner in mind. They were already working together; but they didn’t have money to start up. I had been able to miser away some savings so I decided that I would invest and become a silent partner. My silence lasted for about 2 days.

Exclaim Media Video & Marketing was begun in October 2010.

The next month I heard that it was voted into law that it was illegal for people to camp in Longview. It tore me up inside because homeless people don’t disappear at night. With all the services available in Longview I also felt there was a lack of connection and relationship that was really hurting us. Living Ministries was founded in November 2010.

Both businesses, which we have always called our kids have grown into something we could never have imagined. That other partner went away. The original board of directors disbanded and we got new ones…but Karen and I were always side by side. When I would want to throw in the towel she would encourage me. I have watched people watch us. I can see in their eyes that we are force to be reckoned with when we are working together.

We have been asked for years if we were a couple and both of us would smile and tell them we were best friends and business partners. We wanted the same things out of life so it was easy to spend every day together. Plan a future together. We talked about what we would do if either of us met the man of our dreams; knowing he would have to be amazing because our hearts had been trampled to dust and really never came back. We were happy with being old maids together.

Karen comes to all family events with me. My nephew Casey asked if he could call her Auntie Karen years ago…and all the kids followed suit. She was adopted into my family as my friend and she embraced their craziness and passion with all the same gentle, caring ways she had used with a younger Summer and the Summer that is writing this blog.

Since we began our companies, Karen had technically been homeless more than once; I would have been homeless too if my mother had not allowed me to stay with her. We had started something on an impulse and as with every jump we make, we had learned to roll with the punches and most of the time we were broke.

She and I have been through so much together and each trial has brought us closer. We felt our greatest strength was that we always knew the other one would be there. Even our ministry with our community thrives on our love.

Karen probably thought she knew everything about me but there was one thing that I had never told anyone. Being someone that was always alone, who didn’t know how to trust, when it came to my health I just dealt quietly with things, knowing that God would sustain me until it was time to go to heaven. Every decision I made as co-owner and founder of two businesses and even in my friendship with Karen were based on the idea that I would be dead in a few years.

In the summer of 2004 I had found a spot on my ankle. It hurt. It seeped. It burned. I was afraid. Although God had told me several times through the years to go to the doctor I couldn’t. Every human that was supposed to help me, had failed me and I couldn’t admit to another person that I had failed. I felt that because my body couldn’t heal on its own I had become a failure. After a certain number of years my pride also stopped me because I didn’t want to admit to anyone how long I had known about this problem. I wore long skirts all the time so no one noticed the swelling. I had always been a little compulsive so it was easy for me to tell people that I needed to cover up. It had always hurt to be touched; this wasn’t a lie.

I had gone through so much healing with God on an emotional, mental and spiritual level that I knew that anything that wasn’t of him was going to be hard to get rid of…the stuff we have carried for our whole lives is hard to put down since we can’t imagine life without them. I had told God, here and no further regarding my body. If he wanted me healed, he would have to do it himself.

The last week of January 2014 I got the flu. The worst flu I have ever had. I was super sick for over 10 days. Somewhere in there I realized that something was really wrong with my leg because I had to remove my toe ring. The spot on my leg had always been on my ankle but it seemed to be traveling up my thigh and taking over my foot. I couldn’t hide it anymore and Karen, who had been coming to care for me every day noticed…and my mom noticed.

It was Wednesday January 29th when the problem was becoming too big to handle. On Saturday my mom was starting to freak out. On Sunday she insisted I was going to the hospital on Monday. I prayed to God as I realized that I was going to lose this fight. God told me to go to Legacy Salmon Creek on Wednesday February 5, 2014. This decision was unacceptable to my family who decided to call the police and have me removed against my will to the hospital because my mother thought I was suicidal.

I knew I wasn’t suicidal I just had a few things I needed to deal with with God before I took the scariest trip in my life. Luckily I never lost my head and the guy from Lower Columbia Mental Health and the police officer did not have enough proof that I was trying to kill myself and the paramedic that I allowed in my room was impressed with the broccoli and yogurt I had been trying to eat…suicidal people don’t eat food like that…they also don’t care how many liters of water they drank that day and cover every wall in their bedroom with mementos and pictures of their amazing life…so they all left and my best friend was the only person allowed in my room until I went to the hospital on Wednesday…of course the conversation of an LLC was now more than just an idea…

The next two days are a whirlwind in healing. I was praying constantly. I would have night terrors that led me to wake up making declarations of my freedom from this or that that had plagued me my whole life. When I wasn’t praying or crying I found myself telling Karen every secret I ever had. I couldn’t pull the wool over her eyes, now, if I wanted to.

On Wednesday I woke up and my leg was the worst it had ever been and it felt like it was on fire. I had stopped taking anything for a few days because I had heard the word Cellulitis in my head and had researched and found at that NSAIDS could make it worse. My leg was three times its normal size and looked like I had covered it is rich, dark, pizza sauce. I was sitting on the toilet and asking God why he had let me wait till Wednesday. I was so scared. I thought I would lose my leg.

He said, “You won’t pay extra for this. I had to heal some other things before you could go.”

So my best friend showed up and made me some broccoli and eggs for breakfast. I took some Ibuprofen and a shower and we got ready to leave. Before I could leave, I had to do something I had never done. I showed Karen my leg. She was the first person to see my naked leg in years. She didn’t even flinch, however a tear did dance in her eye.

She never left my side while I was in the hospital for 4 days. She held my hand through every painful moment. I had to threaten to stop eating just to get her to go to the cafeteria to get food for herself. When it was time to go home she told me that the doctor had said that patients usually are in the hospital for 10-15 days with a case of Cellulitis like mine, but I was there 4 days.

When we got home, Karen was there for me then too. My family had never come to the hospital. They called and spoke with Karen, while I was out of my mind on drugs to kill the infection and get my body to start fighting back. My family is not hands on with me. They did buy things I needed but were glad to let Karen take care of me.

The biggest thing that happened in the last few months is that I want to live. I have found someone I can trust and then we found some more people to be friends with. I love my new doctor.

In the past I had tried medications to help me deal with Anxiety Disorder but they always made me suicidal. After this big change in my life a bottle of lavender and my best friend’s hand was the best medication. I was healing in so many ways fast. We were walking and eating less and more healthily. We were starting to focus on getting back to work, while Karen was always cheering me on.

On April 26, 2014 my best friend and I were watching a movie after a long day. Somewhere during that movie I had grabbed her hand. Neither one of us had tried to let go for the entire movie. The next night was similar, except this time we had hugged each other and never let go. I was nervous because I didn’t know what this was and Karen was not able to answer my question. On April 28, 2014 we shared a kiss and my best friend asked me to marry her and I said yes. In two days I felt things fall into place that had always been wrong. We had talked about how a change in our relationship would affect lots of people: our families, our friends, our community, our ministry.

But it was the right thing to do. I know I was made for this path. I know that God is using this too for his kingdom.

On Friday May 9, 2014 I married my best friend. My family was not there. Most of our friends were not there. Just our friend Debra, who officiated, our friend Lynn and her daughter who were witnesses, our friend Amanda who was our photographer and this great couple, Dennis and Audi who own the Thyme Square Bistro in Cathlamet who we invited that day when we stopped for lunch after grabbing another load of my things from my mother’s house. It was private, unplanned and perfect for us.

We don’t know what will happen in the future but we will conquer it together and continue making as much JOY in life as we can. In the back of my mind I always thought if I married it should be to my best friend…I too was surprised that I would marry a female friend. I hate labels so straight, gay, heterosexual or homosexual are weird to me. But if people want me in that box and it helps them feel safe, or better I will be fine with it. My older step-sister said I would lose some people in my life, that I would be condemned by some, that I would be embraced by some. She was right. But as long as Karen is holding my hand, loving me out loud, I am ok with that too.

Please leave your comment below. Warning, it wont be visible until we have deemed it wont cause trauma to others.

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Julie Nelson | May 19, 2014

Congrats Summer and Karen! This is a very touching story. I am very happy for the both of you. You are amazing women and you deserve to be happy.

Susan Buck | May 19, 2014

I loved ur honest, heartfelt story! I know karen from my short time in toastmasters and know what a great person she is and am happy fir u both. I gave a speech once that had the message “let go and trust”…so I truly hope u do just that from hear on out!! Pooey with the nay sayers!!!

Sophia Cedotal | May 19, 2014

Karen & Summer,
I love reading your stories on how you met one another. It doesn’t matter what others think, it is all about how you two feel. If you love each other than I say that is all that matters. You two have done so much amazing work for the Cowlitz County area. May God Bless this next chapter in your lives!

Jon Randall | May 19, 2014

I am sooooo happy for you guys … It is awesome when two people find in another the part that makes them complete. You are an awesome team that will share a lifetime of happiness together! Congratulations!!!

Christie Ellis | May 19, 2014

That was a powerful an amazing story friend. I teared up twice and sniveled a wee bit at the end. Labels are for food and cleaners. Love knows no label or bounds. It simply is, whether people like it, support it or understand it. No one needs to besides the two of you. I am utterly enthralled with your joint journey. I truly hope for decades of more stories. You two can do anything together!

Brenda Brown | May 19, 2014

Congratulations again! That is one of the best stories that I have ever heard! You guys make a wonderful team. And when you add the Power of God and Love… nothing/noone can stand in the way. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness! People will talk, label, disown, etc… but that is on them. They are the ones that will have to be held accountable for their actions and judgements. Don’t let that get you down. As long as you are happy, continue to work for the Kingdom and live life with no regrets… who cares? You have to answer to noone.

Diana Davis | May 20, 2014

Love your story! I wish you both the best. Keep doing your wonderful work around town, and know that you are following the path you are meant to follow. Cheers!!

Just Married

by | May 14, 2014 | Adventures, Queer Community

The best things happen while you are making plans. On May 09, 2014 I married my best friend. Wait. Let me back up just a bit.

I met Summer D Clemenson on October 03, 2002. She had applied for a job at Professional Communication Services, where I had been working there for three years. After Summer was hired, I scared her with my exuberant personality and pick-in-the-hair hairdo! Later on my boss told me not to scare Summer away from us!

Well Summer learned to put up with my crazy hairdos and my bad jokes. After 11 years of friendship and lots of adventures: lots of personal life experiences as well as starting 2 businesses, we discovered on April 26, 2014 that we felt more for each other than just friendship. We prayed for guidance and a future that would be filled with love and understanding. I asked Summer if she would share her life with me and she said…..YES!  I was shocked!

As I stood beside this wonderful woman on May 09, 2014 there was no doubt in my mind and heart that we were doing the right thing. Before we took our vows we were whispering to each other in our own language while our friends were watching us. Our love continues to grow and there are so many things I want to say to her. I feel humbled and blessed. I have been awarded this most precious gift of all…. the gift of true complete love! Woot Woot!