Dear Younger Me (and anyone who wants to read this),
I am writing this letter to you as a celebration. As I round the bend toward be alive 45 years, I realize how far I have come. I never thought I would live beyond 32 years old; I am not sure where I got that idea but it was something a 14-year-old version of myself believed. The last 13 years have been a bonus and that is how I look at every year now.
Although I know that I am not like everyone else, I do know that I am not totally original. I hope that if you’re reading this that you find hope for yourself here. I have been called many names, as you may know, our favorite is wife and Auntie Summer…some of the other names aren’t worth mentioning and a few of them haven’t happened yet.
We are also called:
Child of God
Wise Woman
Soul Searcher
Set Apart Because He are Holy
Ultimately Curious and Creative Because we are Made in His Image
You are loved by me. We are learning, to be still and know that God’s love is infinite and sustained by Him. We are learning, even as I write this, that you do not know all the answers but you will never find them by defining anyone but you. In reality, the answers you really want, will only be shown to you by God when you are able to hear Him.
Make choices
Not making a choice is still making a choice. When you let things happen without action, you have actually made the decision to not act. When you were a kid, this may have been someone else’s fault; as an adult your decisions are your responsibility. All choices have reaction some are no big deal, some will leave scars for the rest of your life…or someone else’s. Do not be complacent. God hates that.
Make choices that affect your future in a good way. Take the promotion in a new city. If you are meant to be in Longview again…it will happen…Don’t skip on a new adventure because you are afraid to go alone. Even the people closest to you, may not be there forever, no matter how much you want them to be, so don’t short-change yourself.
You will never measure up to any standards but God’s and He measures them out when He is ready and only when He is ready
You will never measure up, be enough, or be able save ANYONE. You are not like others because you were created to see the world and people differently. You were created to feel with others and hear what your spirit leads you to. You have been scared of this because it is confusing but I promise, if you lean into God, He is the best Father and teacher you could ever hope for. These truths are meant to lead to you prayer and love for God and those He has sent to you, however you will be blessed too.
Our standards do not take away anything, from anyone else. If other people think that our truth takes something away from them, they should work on that without us to interrupt them. On the flip-side, other people’s standards are great for them. If other people can trust that we accept that each of us must live our own truth, then we can be friends as long as they are peace-seeking people…
Failure is not judgement it is a learning experience
Your inability to reach other people’s standards or even your own, is not failure. At your age, (I am considering my 17-year-old self) you may think this is criticism because that is what you know. What it actually is, if you can hear me, is the ticket to your freedom. When you embrace that you will never be what your family or friends want you to be, or that you will never be what the media or what you imagined was perfect, you can drop the veils you surround yourself with. You can stop working so hard to make others happy. You can let the words that you choose to accept from yourself and from others, that burn your soul, become like water on a duck’s back. You can become who God made you to be. Just yourself.
Forgiveness and healing are 2 different things with their own process and timeline
You can forgive. I know you think it is useless because when you forgive the people that hurt you, they just do it again but that is because you don’t understand that forgiveness does not change other people; it only changes you. You can start letting go of the old sadness and anger…it will take you a long time, so why not start now…I am still working on it. You will have more painful times but it is ok to give yourself time to feel your feelings and learn from them. When you hold the pain forever it becomes toxic and makes you bitter and sick. Just remember God never gave anyone the right to hurt you…but He loves the people that hurt you too…
Let go of people who do not help you feel loved
You can choose who you spend your time with. Let the people who do not edify or lift you up, go…even those that you rely the most on. If they really love you, they will fight to come back. They will learn how you need to be loved and prove themselves worthy. It may take years for them to understand, heal, forgive, stop being afraid, and understand what you need, but they will succeed at being better so you can feel safe around them when they are ready to build a relationship with the actual you. Yes, you are hyper-sensitive, it might be easier to love other people who are not easily triggered by bright lights, sounds, smells and emotions but you are worthy of people that don’t take advantage of that. You can’t make people love you, regardless of how hard you try and conforming does not feed your spirit.
Trauma is relative to each person. Trauma is not always planned out acts. When you are hyper-sensitive what hurts you might not hurt other people. Also other people may not realize they have their own trauma that needs healing. “We are all equally scary people,” as Karen says. If you can’t stop bleeding all over someone, take care of your wounds before you infect someone else. When you feel like you can try with someone again, be prepared to be rejected, but hope for the best. God is healing them too and their process may be different then yours.
Your dreams will come true
Although it has been drilled into your head that you are too fat or too something…to have the life you want, you must try to break those bad tapes. They are lies. Everything you really want will come true. The good and the bad things you want will happen because you are a spiritually powerful woman and God honors our words. Foster the good dreams and protect yourself from situations that make you want the bad. Your dreams will not look like what you thought they would…but God will give you every desire of your heart in His time and own way. When you feel hopeless, think about this until you can push forward again.
Look for people who want to hear you and don’t ignore you
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You will have to do this often. Standing up for yourself doesn’t have to mean fighting with people who like to fight. Sometimes standing up for yourself is walking away and letting people fight without you until they are ready to stop. It doesn’t make you wrong to decide to choose peace. It doesn’t mean they are bad or take anything away from them, except your presence and permission to be abused by their choices, or allowing them to be abused by your anger and resentment. They may not be trying to hurt you. They may not understand what you need. They may not be able to hear you when you ask for peace. They may not even know they are fighting and competing all the time. If they want to join you, they will change. It is ok to let people go if they are never ready to choose peace. You are not alone. God is with you always and He will never leave…accept for that week after you told Him to, “Fuck off.” If you haven’t got there yet, don’t worry, before the words can come out of your mouth, He will be back…that was the loneliest week of our life….but He is always present.
Fight for yourself
Advocate for yourself. Don’t be afraid to go to doctors, specialists and therapists. If they don’t hear you or if they are wrong, make sure you are heard. Remember you are different. Teach them that even though you don’t know how to fight for you, you are willing to learn. If they can’t answer your questions, find someone who can. Don’t be afraid of the pills that you need to be healthy. Learn about them. Learn what you can do to not need some of them. Be patient with yourself, like no one has been with you. It will take time but you will find the exercise, medications, foods and self-care it takes to quiet the storm that is inside you…some of your issues are related to your mental and physical health. It is not your fault. It just is part of your path.
Learn about yourself – Gender, Orientation and Presentation are only a small but important part of our identity
Your gender, sexuality and identity are just fine. It is not bad to talk about them or seek out your truth. Even though you have been taught (or not taught) otherwise, you are beautiful just the way you are, God knows you. He loves you. God made the real you. So here are our truths: Our gender is Cis Female. Our sexuality is Demisexual. Our mind is Androgynous but we enjoy representing ourself as Feminine.
Cisgender is a term for people whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth. For example, someone who identifies as a woman and was assigned female…Our pronouns are she and her.
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to people that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed...You and I do not take sex lightly however gender doesn’t seem to be a defining factor for us.
Androgynous has characteristics of bole male and female, so it is generally of indeterminate sex.
Feminine is having qualities or an appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness.
Marriage Rocks!
Wait for a partner that wants us and loves us as much as we love them. If we love them or want them more than they love or want us, we will not be able to make up for their lack. Love and want are not related to need. Need is a misrepresentation of love which is what we really want. Remember…we will never measure up to anyone else’s standards…so wait for the one who loves us as close to the example that Jesus has shared with us. You wont even start to understand this until you are at least 25…that is ok. Nana was right when she taught us to not waste our affections…Be patient and work hard on yourself and don’t worry about being alone forever. You wont realize that that crazy friend that you have trusted and loved for 10 years is the one God made for you until we are 38…and even then you wont totally get it…
You will have all the time God wants you to have so don’t be in a hurry
Here is a mind-blower! Your time is not God’s time. God’s time is not limited to our understanding. If you are tired. Stop and rest. If you wear yourself out, who will be you? Let me tell you…I didn’t focus on you when I was young and had more energy and less pain. At this point, sometimes it takes all the energy I have to accomplish is our self-care. I am not talking about make up and hair…although we do enjoy trying new styles…What you look like on the outside is nothing if you don’t have peace and love for yourself. Get that couch off your back. Find time to think and feel. Do what makes you happy. Dig in the dirt. Read. Learn…this is your favorite thing to do!
Your feelings are telling you about yourself
Accept your feelings so you can heal, grow and love yourself. You don’t hate people; you hate yourself. You want to die, but you haven’t learned how to live. Spend more time learning how to love yourself so you don’t fall back on manipulating people.
It’s ok if people don’t answer your letters, if you want to write them, do it.
If you do nice things for people, do it because you want to. If you don’t want to. Don’t.
If you want to spend time with people, tell them, instead of assuming they should know when maybe they don’t.
Say hi to people. Give honest compliments.
No one owes you a thing but if they don’t treat you the way you want to be treated, it might be because they are seeing how you treat yourself or their way is the best they know. If their way is not helping you, then decide how much energy you want to give them. Give yourself the love you need…lean into God. He knows what He has planned for you.
Judgement is a double-edged sword
Accept that you are just as guilty as you judge others to be. Every time you hurt, be honest about the situation. Did you manipulate them? Did you lie to them? Did you ignore them? Maybe your actions require repentance…which means confession, forgiveness and change on your part. You can’t change anyone but yourself…If you changed and they didn’t then decide how much of your time you will keep giving them.
Keep asking questions
I have noticed that when I share my viewpoints, sometimes, people respond as though I am challenging them to a fight. I have been asking God how I can better communicate with people. I want people to understand that most of what I say is my opinion. I stand by my opinions but I am also fluid with them once I have heard enough evidence to change them. When I voice my opinions or share my stories and experiences, I am not looking for a fight, but a discussion. Discussion allow for communication, understanding and growth. Fighting allows for noise and pain. I am trying to learn out how to speak to people so they know, I am still in the process of learning not to judge them or fight with them. When I share my thoughts and experiences it is for the purpose of growth on my part, and their part, if they are interested. Hearing people tell me no, or that I am wrong in a way that is kind and direct is welcome. I am waiting on God for His answer…it will take as much time as it takes for me to be able to hear the answer…but I have chewed on questions for years without an answer before. If I die before I hear Him…it wont be an issue anymore. 🙂
Keep learning
With all the interesting viewpoints, facts and feelings there are to experience enjoy your favorite thing. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep loving and make sure you love yourself first. It isn’t selfish, like we were taught. The extra love will overflow on the right people.
I am so thankful to God for coming to us when we were a little girl. I remember that day so clearly. We were 5-years-old, I was playing in my backyard, under the apple trees and suddenly we weren’t alone anymore. It was just that simple. We were baptized 2 years later because the church we went to needed to feel certain that we knew what we were talking about. Church has been a part of our life for as long as I can remember, but part of the problem is that I don’t remember everything. Trauma can do that to a person. At this point we don’t go to church because I am selfish with my Sundays. I also know distinctly that a church that is labeled affirming, is made of people who don’t know what to do with me and my wife. Change is a process. I know that we will be ready to try other churches eventually. We all have our process, don’t we?
Wherever you are in your process, do what you can to grow and enjoy life. Love yourself and God will love others through you. I wish you well.
We hear the word mindful so often, it is almost a constant reminder, but what is Mindfulness? Being mindful is a verb that describes a practice of paying attention to what is happening now. Being mindful is something that is naturally part of ourselves, whether we choose to cultivate it or not. What we are doing, what we are feeling and what we are thinking are all parts of practicing mindfulness. This practice is best learned during active, daily practice. When we observe our thoughts, feelings and actions we are learning about ourselves without judging why we think, feel or do things the way we do them. What we observe is neither good or bad in the moment, this observation is meant to teach us what we do and how we do it as we respond to the things we can’t control, like the weather, other people’s behaviors or any other factor that we can only respond to. (more…)
I have blood on my hands
it covers my palms warm and thick
It runs between my fingers
like liquid silk
The shock of it is curious
and I feel drunk
There is a voice singing that is like mine
I am mellow and expectant
Raising my arms to reach for more
the scars I have always had disappear
You have adopted me
and I am Yours
My heritage of rejections is gone
because You have never left me
You hold me close and I know You
Your voice is mine
We are one and We are new
I am wise and not broken
When I look back You recapture me
You are my inheritance
I know they never knew me
In You I am Your light and love
I have blood on my hands
and it is mine
You beckon and I follow until I forget
I am used to pain
Your heart beat calms me
If I remember to stay here
to live my inheritance
Image Credit: By 3rd/4th century monk – http://chrles.multiply.com/photos/album/36/Bible_Papyrus_p92#photo=2, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=13288140
~
Hi Everyone! I wanted to share with you are product I found while Karen and I were waiting in line at Walmart. I try hard to not notice all the odds and ends and treats while we are waiting, but I was hungry and I was eye-balling the end-cap with the jerky on it and was surprised to see a jerky made of turkey. Now, I have tried turkey jerkies before, and I didn’t like them, but I felt drawn to at least read the label. I am an avid label-reader…and at least it is better than reading the tabloids.
I am picky about my turkey and what had my attention is something I had never seen on other turkey jerkies…herbs. Turkey can be so boring without them. I don’t like my turkey sweet so the flavors I had seen in the past did not entice me. I liked the package. It was attractive, I liked the colors they had used; I like colors and I like white space. It said all the right things: 11 g of protein, no preservatives, no added MSG, no added nitrates all this made me turn it over and check out the sodium levels. This is the catch. Generally there is tons of sugar and salt in jerky but this one blew my mind! When I saw 290 mg of sodium and 5 g of sugars and then the price was less than $3…I thought I am going to give this a try. If I don’t like it, I am only out $3.
The other day I tried a Shanti Bar. I am not a fan of meal replacement bars, in general. Most of them taste like cardboard and many of them have soy in them, which makes them taste like chalk, but it also makes me sick. Some of them have tons of sugar in them too. I don’t tend to think about grabbing a bar on the go because if I don’t like it, why would I eat it?
However, I may have found a bar I could imagine eating again. It came from a friend and I felt compelled to give it a try since it didn’t include soy. I held my breath for my first bite, but was pleasantly surprised. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was not like a treat but it was tasty. In reality if it tastes like a treat, I might be compelled to eat too much of them at one time, so this is a good thing. It does taste healthy. It does smell healthy. According to the nutrition facts, it is healthy. Which makes it a good option for throwing in your bag as you run out the door or even to take when you go for a hike or to eat after a workout.
Since 2011 I have been using Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils® alongside traditional Western Medicine to maintain a healthy body, elevate my mood & clear my thoughts.
I believe that some people require medications to be well, but for minor & occasional use, oils can help you feel better in your mind and body. I recommend that if you choose to use Essential Oils that you only choose Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils® that have been presented in their purest form.
Why do I think this is so important? Because you get what you pay for. I am not willing to say that dōTERRA is the only high quality brand available, but I do know that I have tried cheaper oils that you can find in any store and they are just not the same; dōTERRA Essential Oils smell so much better and they do not have cheep fillers. dōTERRA utilizes the highest quality ingredients they can find. They require 50 more purity tests than the law requires. This company also does not have any shareholders to impress because they are privately owned. That says a lot to me. (more…)
Our bodies require a lot of planning towards success in order to create the quality of life we want. Our personal wellness includes many aspects that come together to equal our overall health and satisfaction. A Wellness Plan is a cohesive proposal for the goals we want to achieve and how we intend to reach those goals. A Wellness Plan is dynamic and very personal to each person.
Why Do You Need a Wellness Plan?
Creating a Wellness Plan helps to define goals that will help you reach and maintain your balance between personal and work responsibilities. Many times we have trouble putting our own needs above others because as a society, often times, we do not put value in our own self-care, however when we put a focus on our personal, physical and mental well-being we create positive emotions and energy. Positive emotions and energy impact how we interact with society, our family and friend relationships, our work, our financial well-being, community presence and influence, and the quality of life after we stop working. (more…)
The following article is an editorial. This article is not meant to be fact but my own personal thoughts. Today we are all in pain. God bless your American Heart, we are in mourning, in my opinion, and the anger and fear of what might happen next is very understandable. In the last 5 months, we Americans, and the rest of the world have been through something most of us have only read about in books. On top of all this, politically, our country has been beat about the head and heart for so long…no matter what you believe politically, it is a general consensus, from my viewpoint, that we have become set on opposing lines and the ones who scream the loudest are painting a very stressful picture. (more…)
In this day and age we hear a lot about gluten. I have heard many people that make jokes about people who eat gluten-free, like they are just trying to be special. However 1 in 100 people, around the world has Celiac Disease, many of which do not know they have it, or that long-term health complications may be in their future. There are some people who’s bodies are unable to digest or break down gluten. This is called gluten intolerance and the level of sensitivity varies between people. But there is a difference between gluten intolerance and people who have Celiac Disease. (more…)
May is Mental Heath Month. Since 1949 many mental health organizations have observed this month as a time to use media, local events and screenings to educate people about mental health. 1 in 5 people will experience mental illness in their lifetime so it is important for us all to be supportive of each other and those we love. This year’s theme is Tools 2 Thrive.
This year, Jamie decided that I would be challenged with writing about Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) because she likes to stretch me…and I have GAD…in fact at one time or another my many therapists have considered all, but 1 of the following types of anxiety disorders for me…So far they have decided I have 3 out of 5 of them…but we are going to focus on just one today… (more…)
Karen loves eggs! She can eat them all day long and never get sick of them. She doesn’t care how they are prepared. She doesn’t care what time of day it is. She will always enjoy an egg or two. To be honest, they are an inexpensive way to get a little protein in, so I don’t mind that she enjoys them so much.
I have to be honest here. I am not a morning person. If you ever see me in the morning (which can be any time before 2 pm) and I look like I am enjoying myself, I could be giving you a good performance. That said, it works best for my family if I find ways to have food in the fridge for Karen, who tends to get grumpy when she is hungry. (more…)
There are really no cons when we are considering Workplace Wellness Plans. There is something special that is created when ‘I’ becomes ‘we.’ Companies that foster their employee’s wellness can creatively encourage healthy competition among their staff and not only see better health in their workforce but create a workplace where people work together. At Rightline Equipment in Rainier, Oregon they often have wellness contests, like weight loss contests. This encourages employees to eat healthier and work together to implement healthy habits among themselves and while they do this they support each other to reach their personal goals. This not only leads people to change their lifestyle but they get sick less often and miss less work time. (more…)
FODMAP stands for Fermentable Oligo-, Di-, Mono-saccharides and Polyols. All these scientific terms are used to describe groups of fermentable carbohydrates that commonly trigger bloating, gas and stomach pain in people with sensitivities.
The main dietary sources of the four groups of FODMAPs include:
Oligosaccharides: Wheat, rye, legumes and various fruits and vegetables, such as garlic and onions.
Disaccharides: Milk, yogurt and soft cheese. Lactose is the main carbohydrate.
Monosaccharides: Various fruit including figs and mangos, and sweeteners such as honey and agave nectar. Fructose is the main carb.
Polyols: Certain fruits and vegetables including blackberries and lychee, as well as some low-calorie sweeteners like those found in sugar-free gum.
Cannabis can be a very powerful tool in use as a pain reliever for those suffering with chronic pain and illness. Cannabis works alongside our nervous system to block certain pain receptors. This is key to living a good life with chronic pain. It may not be the way for everyone, but it was a game changer for me.
What is our Nervous System?
Our nervous system is a complex collection of nerves and specialized cells known as neurons. These neurons send signals between different parts of our body, telling them what to do. Our nervous system is like our body’s electrical wiring. (more…)
Talcum Powder is made from talc. Talc is a mineral that contains magnesium, silicon and oxygen. In its natural state, some talc also contains asbestos. Talc that has been purified from asbestos is generally what is used in consumer products.
The reason talcum powder is used is that it absorbs moisture well and helps cut down on friction so it is good for helping to keep skin dry and prevent rashes; which is why it is often found in baby powder and adult body and facial powders. (more…)
Lupus is a Chronic Autoimmune Disease that occurs when your body’s immune system attacks your own tissues and organs. Chronic means that is long-term and there is no cure. Lupus can be either localized or systemic. Systemic means that it relates to an entire part of the body and not just one spot. The inflammation that Lupus causes can effect several body systems including: heart and lungs, blood cells, kidney, skin and joints.
Inflammation is caused when your immune system fights an infection or injury in our body. Lupus tricks your body into thinking that healthy tissues are injured or infected. This causes symptoms like swelling and pain because of cellular break down. (more…)
IBS stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. IBS is a very common disorder that affects the large intestine. IBS affects 3-20% of the US population, depending on ethnicity, gender, communication abilities, education, financial and coexisting medical conditions. Luckily IBS doesn’t cause changes in bowel tissue or increase a person’s risk of colorectal cancer, yet in rare cases IBS can cause intestinal damage.
Other names for Irritable Bowel Syndrome are: spastic colon, irritable colon, mucous colitis, and spastic colitis. IBS is a different condition than Inflammatory Bowel Disease in that a disease is a separate diagnosis with a treatment, and a syndrome is a collection of ongoing symptoms that don’t necessarily have one cause or cure. (more…)
If you are experiencing a Mental Health Crisis and you are located in Cowlitz County please call: Cowlitz County Mental Health Crisis Line: (800) 803-8833 or (360) 425-6064
Numbers for surrounding counties are located at the bottom of this article
Amino acids are organic compounds composed of nitrogen, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and variable side chain groups. Amino Acids are referred to as the building blocks of protein that conduct many vital processes like syntheses of hormones and neurotransmitters. Your body needs 20 different amino acids to grow and function properly; 9 of those amino acids are referred to as essential amino acids and they can only be obtained through our diet. One essential amino acid is called phenylalanine…
Although they play a role in the main topic of this article, amino acids are not the main focus. This article was written to tell you about Phenylketonuria. (more…)
March 24, 2020 is American Diabetes Association Alert Day! Every 4th Tuesday in March it is the hope of many that people who are at risk developing of Type 2 Diabetes will learn what they need to know to avoid or manage this disease.
Diabetes is a chronic illness where your blood sugar is too high because your body is not allowing the glucose in the food you eat to properly enter your cells, to be used for energy. Insulin is a naturally occurring hormone made by your pancreas that helps this process. In people who are Diabetic, sometimes their body does not make enough insulin or their bodies are insulin resistant so the sugar in your body stays in your blood instead of being burned properly. (more…)
Self-Care is a vital part of life that I think many of us have little to no knowledge of. I know I didn’t 10 years ago. Just like many other people, it took me getting really sick to make me start learning. I don’t want this to happen to you so here I am putting together an article that might inspire you to make healthy choices for your mind, body and spirit.
Every person is different and with that in mind, you have to take time to learn what you need to be at full capacity. What someone else needs might be close to what you need, but not necessarily your ideal. We can do this by really paying attention to our bodies to learning how much and what kind of stress we can handle, exactly how many hours of sleep we need during times of health and when we need to disconnect from the world to catch our breath and reset our mind, body and spirit. (more…)
COVID-19 is part of a large family of viruses called coronaviruses that cause illness ranging from the common cold and to more severe diseases like: Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS-CoV) and SARS-CoV.
Wellness Works NW does not own Forever Fit Gym, if you have questions please contact the gym at 360-425-5611.
Please wait...
