I Hate You
If I were to make my outside look like my inside you would probably say it was my fault The knife cuts and the razor blades would only embellish where the scars don’t already live ~ You wouldn’t smile at me while we spoke We would never speak honestly It wouldn’t...
Memories Are Bigger Than the Thing We are Responding To
Sometimes when we have a strong response to something it is because memories are bigger than the thing we are responding to. The other day I made a post on Facebook because I have seen so many memes and posts with the middle finger and it made me angry. It wasn’t my...
New Survival Skills
I was triggered today. Even though I may be ready to graduate from therapy, doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments when my PTSD isn’t still in the room with me; when I suddenly feel the dread, fear and victimization that I felt growing up. I still have to deal with...
When We Make Laws to Control People We are Mocking Jesus on the Cross
The gift that Jesus gave us by His death, burial and resurrection is not understood nearly as big until you have read the Old Testament. There are books filled with so many laws that it is exhausting to think about how you could do much of anything else but focus on...
I Never Considered
I never considered that there would come a time that I would end my therapy. I have had at least 2 mental breaks in my lifetime. I was smart enough to be able to fake enough balance that I didn’t end up confined. I know that would not have served me well. I am...
Book Review: The Failed Promise Reconstruction, Frederick Douglass, and the Impeachment of Andrew Johnson by Robert S. Levine
I did not pick this book out. My wife did. She was advised by a friend to look at Reconstruction so she brought The Failed Promise Reconstruction, Frederick Douglass, and the Impeachment of Andrew Johnson by Robert S. Levine home from the library. I had just helped...
I Have Been Learning Me
I have been learning me diligently for about 20 years now. It might be odd that I didn’t start until I was in my mid-20’s for some, but it makes sense to me. I lived in a very controlled environment. It didn’t even occur to me to ask myself what I wanted until I was...
Emergency Shelter
I can feel your tears like acid on the inside of me Your open hands begging for someone to hold them in love You are so well groomed You don't know how lucky you are to be breathing ~ I hear one hundred and one reasons they deserve to be forgiven Their brokenness was...
And I Said NO
Sometimes we can’t see straight until we are removed The situation is confused by emotions we want to feel or don’t know how to name correctly until we do And often we are far on the other side before we know those words ~ I remember those days that I thought I would...
Addressing Mental Health Issues
Years ago I was at my friend’s house. My friend and their spouse had only begun addressing mental health issues with their spouse which had the potential to be a danger to them. I don’t remember if they had begun trying to find the right meds yet or not. Just because...
Book Review: Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
I first heard about the book, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, when I was reading The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams. It was then that I committed to reading all the books listed in that book. I found this one at The Longview Public Library. I was so excited...
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