My Failure to Love Scared Me

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 17, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

He made me afraid and I am sorry. My failure to love scared me. My lack of empathy for the death of Charlie Kirk scared me. Even as I wrote strong words to explain my fears, I didn’t understand what I was doing, and that is the truth.

I took a break from media for a few days so I could let myself rest and control my input better. I was overwhelmed and tired. But as the end drew near, the very mention of his name, made me angry and so I asked God why I was so angry. Why did this one person bother me so much?

So I made myself listen to the news, listen to what was being said and not being said and later to what God had to say. The news called Kirk a Political Activists and Debater. I have seen myself as these things at times. But my need for and my greatest gift, is my empathy; something Kirk did not believe in — I heard him say this with his own mouth. There are many people groups that he did not value as I do and this hurt me too. I felt that because he believed that a few gun deaths each year, justified our 2nd amendment and this flippant comment may have warranted his demise. I was so afraid of his platform, I stopped loving; I lost my empathy.

This is where I failed. I let my fear make me small. No matter how we justify our opinions, if we are functioning out of fear, we are small and we make God small. But God is not small. God is infinite. The words of a person cannot take root in us if we are not open to them. If we are aware of who our Creator is and what our job is, we can walk tall and love big. But when we fail we can always bring our failures to God and He will help us to see what slowed us down or what stopped us from doing what He created us for. I did this. I brought my tears to Him and I confessed that I let my fears stop me from loving and He understood and He forgave me and helped me forgive myself. He is still working with me because this is no small thing and it has several layers.

I decided to find out what I had in common with Kirk, to help me know him better. We both co-founded and held the position of executive directors of our non-profit organizations. He wrote books and I have a blog and write for a number of websites. He was a host for a TV show and radio show and I produced my wife’s TV show and radio show. He and I both had conservative religious and political influences, growing up. We also have beautiful wives that are talented and capable. From there, we have much that is different about us.

I am old enough to be Charlie Kirk’s aunt, because he is the same age as my oldest nephew. This tells me that although he has an impressive resume, maybe Kirk didn’t have time to grow fully into himself. He was raised with wealth, he had opportunities for education, even if he didn’t take them, that I didn’t have. He was physically healthy. He and his wife are white and straight, he is from Chicago and she is from Arizona. My wife is mulatto and we are queer, she is from North Carolina and I am from Washington. He was raised in a Pentecostal church and chose to change to a Christian Nationalist religion. I was raised in a Southern Baptist Church and then was part of a Non-denominational church and now study and praise the Lord at home and with friends because I haven’t found a church I fit in. I have never said that Kirk was not a Christian, but the fact that there are foundational differences between us, I do think I would have asked different questions of Jesus. My relationship is probably different.

My friend Joshua Simila sent me a message that really made a good point to me. He said:

I saw Mary Steenburgen and her husband, Ted Danson, on TV Sunday night, receive the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award. In her acceptance speech she said there are two main emotions that all others come from: Love and Fear. She said that we are at a time where we are out of balance. This is the reason for the work that her family does to bring more love into balance. I really respect her statement.

Robert Pape from the University of Chicago was on Face the Nation on the same night. He does research and critical surveys. He has found that although politicians want to blame all political hate, that has become so prevalent, on the media and specifically social media, he is emphatic that it is the fact that there is something to hate, that is causing the rise of political violence.

I don’t think that Charlie Kirk and I would have been friends. There were enough differences between us that I am not sure we could have enjoyed our time together. Some of our beliefs may have even made us peaceful enemies. Meaning, we would have:

Chosen to agree to disagree
Pray for each other because the bible says to pray for our enemies
Do what we can to live in peace with everyone
Let God deal with those that hurt us
Conquer evil by doing good
Bless those who hurt us by doing good

It is never okay to use physical violence to make your voice heard, but if you don’t feel that your representatives are not working for you, I can understand your angst. However, that means you must make time to make phone calls, write emails, hold signs and make your voice heard in peaceful ways. All violence does is make it necessary for legal action to be brought against you and people to live with the pain you caused.

We are in a time where it is easy to become tired, angry or just not ourselves. It is good to unplug and regroup. That is what the Sabbath is for. God knew we needed time to have quiet and rest and time with Him to restore us so we can have a fresh face to tackle the next week. So we can love better.

I am sad for the loved ones of Charlie Kirk. I know they are mourning a great loss and I pray they find comfort with God and each other and that they grow in their mourning in a peaceful and loving way. I am sure he is with his Savior.

I am confirming that I do not agree with any political party. I believe our government is corrupt and run, much of the time, by self-serving individuals. But I am praying that God help me to love all of them with His love because He made them too, in His image.

I am sorry where I failed you. Please forgive me. Be blessed.

Image Credit: Glazonoid

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Am Human

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 12, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Politics

I stand before you with my words in honesty. I am a human. I am not perfect and I have confessed that to you. I confess my humanity before man and my Creator daily and as often as necessary. I have not lied.

I have had a certain amount of push back on my writing as of late. I appreciate this. How can I not? I am a Jesus Follower, but I am also a United States citizen, a woman, a fat woman, a disabled woman, a queer woman, an artist and I should know my place. But I am telling you as a true Jesus Follower, I know my place as a person that is one with Christ, who has been given many gifts and it my duty to use them. I am grateful and responsible to Christ first. Not you or your man made ideas or idols. Believe me, I want there to be only love in my words, but sometimes there is just truth.

I am praying for Charlie Kirk’s family and I am praying for children that go to schools that have and will suffer shootings. I am praying for immigrants that need asylum, for nations at war and ones that will be at war. I’m praying for mercy for us all because we don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve it. I’m not perfect but God knows I will bring my burdens and failures before Him and we will sort them out and He will show me how to grow and let go of what is useless. I hope you can be this blessed.

For you that have made a man, that is not your Creator, your idol, or politics, or money, or your rights, or your power, or your beliefs, or anything bigger than your higher power, your idol, please consider repentance. Anything that comes between you and God is an idol and will be your downfall, our downfall. Because we are all connected.

So many people set this one man on a pedestal. Saying he was opening up communication, yet while he spoke many beautiful words, he also slid in many hateful words. Maybe not quite openly. These people forgave him quickly, saying, we all have a right to our opinions, but what he really was doing was sowing seeds of hate into soil that was ready made by years of oppression within our government and churches. Did he ever confess his sins to you, as I have?

Yet every person who has questioned me, was not willing to say I have a right to my opinion. Is it because as a christian woman, I should know my place?

I tell you, as a Jesus Follower, I know my place.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Need Help

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 11, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I am neither sad nor mad about the end of Charlie Kirk, other than to question why he was so profoundly important to others and I need help. Some of his words were small, they lacked empathy and were not from the Jesus I know. He called himself a christian, yet he did not love all his neighbors in a way that I can understand, the second most important law, according to Jesus. He would spit out the 10 commandments but he didn’t show that Jesus was the new covenant. That loving God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and all our neighbors is the entire purpose of being a Jesus Follower. Nothing else matters. Jesus told us to be a humble, peaceful, generous, merciful servants. This was not this man’s message as I heard it.

We should be upset that on the same day Kirk was killed, a woman who came to the United States from Ukraine for protection was murdered by a mentally ill man, with a huge history of violence. Even his mother had asked for him to be committed, and yet, he was still on the streets of North Carolina; a walking time bomb.

Why do we not have better legislation is place for dangerous people?

We should care that also on the same day Kirk was murdered, when someone brought a gun to a school in Colorado, we should be thankful that a student would be willing to throw himself on that gun so that there were only 3 people hurt. We need to be celebrating this 18 year old man!

There were two school shootings on the same day but we are only talking about one, over and over…I can’t see why Kirk is more important than these children.

I do not know that Charlie Kirk would have thrown his body on a gun to protect others because I don’t know him. I don’t know if he was that selfless. If he did know how big God is, I didn’t see a God as big as mine in his messages. But maybe I wasn’t listening well.

Maybe this incident where Kirk was silenced, was just God pruning an unfruitful branch, as it mentions in John 15. Or maybe I am broken somewhere.

I don’t mean to be cruel. I know a wife lost a husband and 2 children lost a father. I don’t know why I can’t feel genuine empathy for them. It is usually abundantly available for me to offer for people in prayer, which I did pray for his family and loved ones, but it was not as natural as it usually is and for that I need to talk with God about. My humanity is getting in the way and I don’t know why.

I am afraid because I am not recognizing myself. Why does the mention of his name or vision of his face make me feel so angry?

His words hurt me. They sliced into me because some of his words were unloving, dis-inclusive, violent at times, and arrogant. Sometimes they were perfectly programmed “christian” words, and I am sure he did believe them, but Jesus came to teach us to love, He said He came to bring division, but that was because He knew humanity so well. Jesus’ words could get into our egos and without the pure soul, where love can grow, it can become foul, and then some of us would care about things that we have no business thinking about. That is evil, and I am afraid that sometimes, that was where Kirk spoke out of, even if it was unintentional. That is very sad.

Am I speaking from there too?

People hide behind the phrase, “We have a right to have our own opinion.” This is true. But words are important. God tells us that we have the power of life or death from our mouth. He told us to be careful. I am not rectifying the murderer’s actions. Murder is not ever acceptable. But what if Kirk’s words hurt someone so badly, they felt like they had no other choice? We may never know.

Or what if this murder is also meant by another evil, to bring even more division in a church that is already divided, on the eve of an event that at one time brought us all together for at least a moment?

Twenty four years ago, I know where I was when I heard about the Twin Towers. I remember that day more clearly than most days in my life. It started with a dream about it, before it happened. It ended with me being at a church worship service dancing and praising Jesus. But soon after some United States citizens began to hate Muslims and do terrible things to them, even though, they too were United States citizens, and they were in pain also by the loss of almost 3,000 people, and they had nothing to do with the plans of evil men from al-Qaeda.

I invite you to take a breath. Bring yourself to your center. Don’t try to blame anyone right now. The facts will come as they are supposed to. Today is a day of remembering. 9-11 brought our country together like no other day in a long time. We were quieter, more appreciative and we had been given a different perspective that helped some of us. Death is not always just an end, but also a door to a newness because as we mourn, we begin to live differently.

God loves you. No matter what name you call Him/Her/They. For a moment let that be enough to empower you to love others. That is the purpose of this life, there is no other reason we are here.

I will get the answers to my questions when I am ready for them. But if you want to pray for me, I appreciate that. Be blessed.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

A Spiritual Battle

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 10, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Queer Community

I’ve listened to a speech by Charlie Kirk where he stated that a spiritual battle is coming to the west. I don’t disagree. But I do disagree with some of what he said: The Muslim religion came from Abraham just like Christianity and Judaism. So why would it be wrong to allow people time to stop and recognize their call to pray? It would be a perfect time for other religions to pray too or get a quick nap in, time to meditate, or take a walk. So that is one error in this man’s speech.

Plus although Christianity has been shaped and formed by governments and institutions, so that it is no longer presented in the original texts, it was not ever the foundation of the United States because our founding fathers were fleeing the persecution of England and the Church of England and wanted religious freedom. Just because people keep saying that the United States was founded on Christian principles doesn’t make it true. Try cracking open a history book.

Kirk was also dead set against queer folks. Sexual orientation has been proven to be a natural state of humanity. We don’t choose our orientation. This is fortified by the fact that the word homosexual was not in the bible until 1947 when one word was misinterpreted in order to control and suppress queer people. The word they were referring to was a word that meant rape or abuse. When people love each other, their intimacy is not either of those things. There was no words for homosexuality in the days the bible was written because people didn’t know what that was because culturally that wasn’t recognized because marriage was a legal transaction in order to create children and maintain inheritance contracts; love was not always factored in. I cannot support Kirk’s viewpoint here either, regardless of my own orientation.

Kirk, held a very conservative way of viewing the American way of life. He said things that I can’t support and, in my opinion, if you are a woman, a free thinker, a person of color, someone that follows a religion other than Christianity, or no religion at all, if you weren’t born here or you even know family members that were not born here, if you are queer, a democrat or you don’t like guns, you might not appreciate all that Kirk had to say. The American way of life is different, depending on which household you are standing in and can be bought best by fair tax laws, where the rich are taxed, just like the rest of us, so that we have a strong middle class and less homelessness. When we have a government that invests in our people through education, healthcare, good jobs that offer ways to grow and pay all your bills, infrastructure and a fair legal system that prosecutes fairly, even law makers and politicians that break the law, in order to maintain our Constitution.

Kirk was offended by education that taught about the general population, which included all kinds of people. My argument to that is if you don’t want your children to learn about general principles of life like how families might be different from each other, send them to private school or home school them.

Jesus came to teach us to love. Jesus did not come to give us a way to throw people down. He had a word for the Pharisees that that had made the law bigger than the people: hypocrite. That is what many in the church have become. Jesus came to show us humility, service, love, peace, honor, grace, mercy. There is none of that in this man’s words

I do not believe that Kirk deserved to die for his beliefs. I am scared and sad for the person that brought him to his death. I have no right to decide what kind of relationship Kirk had with Jesus and I am not judging that. But I do believe that his messages was much smaller than the relationship I have with my Savior. I am sorry that his words brought someone to the idea and to the actions that it did.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Became Very Honest

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 9, 2025 | About Summer, Chronic Illness, Opinions

My mother and I are getting to know each other again and she sent me a message, last night, that said she was hoping I would get free of my symptoms so we could go out again. Yesterday I was hit with a flare in the middle of the day, while out living life and had reached home, where I was trying to relax. I was also feeling a bit snarky. So I became very honest:

She didn’t respond. I’m sure she didn’t say anything because she doesn’t know what to say. It must be hard to hear her child, even though I am an adult, say these things.

It reminded me of a moment with one of my friends. She had stopped by to give me something. We were chatting in the parking lot and I was hurting. I wasn’t even thinking about it, but while we were talking, I was stretching certain parts of me. She finally mentioned that I was obviously in a lot of pain and she seemed surprised that I wasn’t even trying to hide it. It had never occurred to me hide it. I was talking to my friend and I live in chronic pain. These are two things I don’t have to hide. Myself from my friend or my pain from the world.

There is no shame in being in chronic pain or being chronically ill. God made me this way. I deal with it the best way I can but there is no reason to hide it and stretching is part of how I stay flexible and increase blood flow to joints and nerves that are screaming at me.

This is part of being honest. Something society has taught us to suppress. Our humanity is not wrong. How we choose to use it might be, but choosing healthy ways to handle pain, whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually is never wrong. It might be a shock to someone who has never seen it before, but I am ok with that. I am not here to try to change anyone but if I show you something that awakens something honest in you, I hope it helps you.

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Being Brave is Like Breathing

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 8, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I have never felt more confident in God or connected to Him in my life than I do now. Being brave is almost like breathing. Being who I am has never been less complicated than now. I don’t know what changed but I don’t feel like competing with anyone anymore, even myself. I do what I can with the effort I have energy for and I am grateful.

I have always known I was put on this earth for something special. I have known that I have been here before and I have a special task which is why I can ask God to teach me how to do something and I will have a dream about it and wake up with new knowledge. It has never occurred to me to not ask Him for the simplest of things, even in picking out a melon at the grocery store.

I will never forget a time I was at the store, right after church. I had just asked God which cantaloupe to buy and one had glowed so I put it in my cart. Someone from church saw me and asked me how to pick a good melon. I told her my method and she gave me the oddest look and walked away. I could not comprehend her response. We had both just left church.

But a few years later, when I was 20 years old, I finally heard God’s voice. He told me it was time to leave. He told me they had taught me all they could teach me. So I left. 10 or so years later, I visited. I had grown far beyond where I had been spiritually, but they were giving the same sermon I had heard back then. This church didn’t really encourage spiritual growth, they encouraged spiritual dependence, but not on God, on human dogma. Just like we see in our society and politics.

Our Creator made us to be curious, powerful and confident in Him. He empowered us to be successful in every situation. Society has put up walls to make us believe we are smaller than we are. If Jesus lives in us, we are priests and royalty, just like Him. We have to live up to that. He will help us if we are willing to live this way.

Image Credit: Casey Horner

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Bringing People Together in Faith

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 6, 2025 | Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

Trump’s followers are so wrong when they say he is bringing people together in faith. In my opinion, Trump is not bringing us together. He is setting us against each other and up for failure. How can a man that has been married 3 times and cheated on all his wives and has abused women and laughed about it in public, lead anyone to faith and family? I certainly don’t respect him. But I do pray for him and I do ask God to help me have love for him.

Wake up!

These same people want to say the democrats are to blame for everything. How can you say ‘the left’ is trying to ‘erase faith from public square, rewrite history, and replace God with government,’ when that is exactly what Trump’s administration is doing? But don’t think I think the democrats are any less guilty than the republicans in the “establishment,” because both parties have made the rich richer and the poor poorer.

I do think it would be glorious if 1 million people prayed for each other every week. Even more if they prayed for wisdom on how to overthrow our current government and build one that invested in education, healthcare, good jobs and infrastructure, plus a fair tax structure that includes taxing the rich so that we would have a strong middle class and less homelessness.

Trump’s kind of change is not something new. It is social blindness. It is either oligarchy or poverty. It is war. Because it is coming. And no one will be protected.

Try praying about that. World War III is coming. But it doesn’t have to start between United States citizens, we can choose to stop fighting each other and remember that at the end of the day we all want the same thing: safety, love and community.

Image Credit: Wikipedia Commons

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Many of Us Still Hate

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 5, 2025 | Opinions, Politics

I just saw a video suggesting that our president said that black children were born to become violent criminals. Now I know that the media does edit video the way they want you to experience it, however, I believe that Trump really is a white supremacist. I have always looked in that man’s eyes and known he was self-serving and evil. I thought it was a joke when he ran for president, and then I was proven wrong, that even though many of us have made huge strides in loving better, many of us still hate just as much as ever.

My Beloved is such an amazing person. She has been an inspiration to me for as long as I have known her. Her strength of character and integrity, and her ability to love and forgive is astounding. She is not perfect but she is able to get up and start over, roll with the punches, forgive and move on, show empathy and forgive, like I had never seen before. She doesn’t talk about herself or her past very much. I have learned to stop and listen when she talks about her childhood, stories of her great-grandmother or her other vibrant family members, or the abuse she suffered as a mulatto girl child, born in 1965 in High Point, North Carolina, 3 generations from slavery and all that implies.

Karen G Clemenson was taught to love white people because they are in her. She was taught to love everyone because they are her. She has some very strong and forward thinking ideas regarding civil rights. Some that many black people might disagree with. She has no interest in moving back to the south; there are just too many bad experiences she has had. Before we can even go back for a visit, there will be legal papers, gun licensing and a purchase to be made before she will feel ready to go.

I do study history. I go through phases where I study hard and then I have to stop because I can only take in the level of evil that white people have used against all people of color and even other white people (like Italians, Irish, and Jews) for so long before I need a break…I am Italian and Irish too…Because Karen lives with me she hears the things that hurt me the most.

You see, racism/white supremacy, is still alive and it still is hurting my strong, beautiful, loving, capable 60-year-old wife. How do we allow a president stay in office that keeps it alive and says to our children that he expects them to grow up to be monsters, when he is the monster? He is supposed to be an example to our future and he is literally speaking violence over our children because if what he says manifests, and black children grow into criminals, who will be their victims?

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Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

The Adventures in Finding Out You Still Might Have Cancer

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 2, 2025 | About Summer, Cancer

I am tired. Even my gynecological oncologist saw that in me. Since October of 2022 I have had an IUD and been on megestrol and had D&Cs every 3-6 months to treat and biopsy the cancer in the endometrial lining of my uterus. We had been doing this, hoping I could lose the weight I need to make a hysterectomy safer for me, but since megestrol causes weight gain, it has been impossible for me, even with the help of mounjaro, which I took for a year. So there came a point in the adventures in finding out you still might have cancer, that my doctor suggested we try radiation to kill the cancer and be done with it.

3 days after my one and only radiation treatment, I was in the hospital with blood clots in both lungs. Megestrol also causes blood clots. This was my second time almost dying. I will not take this drug anymore. So my doctor scheduled imaging. She wanted more information to help her make the next decision.

On August 12, 2025 at 3:45 pm I had an MRI. It was fine. I have learned to focus on the ceiling, if I can see it. For a few seconds, I could even see a tree outside the window. I try to see as far outside the tight fitting tube as possible. I could barely move but at least I could scratch my nose and touch my face when I felt a power surge on the left side. The energy of the MRI triggered my trigeminal neuralgia. After 40-some minutes I was exhausted. I counted to 20, I don’t know how many times. The triangle shaped pillow they put under my knees, was made for a smaller person than me so I had been holding up my right leg in one place for some time and I got a cramp. My back was killing me from the hard and very flat surface I had been laying on.

The pain was not any better the next week. The stress of the MRI had caused a fibromyalgia flare.

This is a post I made on Facebook on the morning after my PET scan on August 18, 2025

The goal if the imaging was to see if we could find out if the one round of radiation had killed off the endometrial cancer. The night of August 26th, I could hardly sleep. I was so anxious to hear what my doctor had to say.

When Karen G Clemenson and I got there, I was happy to learn that I had lost 4 lbs since my last doctor appointment. Being off the megestrol was making it easier for me to lose weight, which is necessary for me to get the hysterectomy I need; especially due to where I carry my weight. The medical technician asked me about pain and I let her know that I had been suffering with severe burning pain in my vagina off and on, since I had had the radiation treatment. At that time, my pain was a 5. I had tried several things to help with the pain, but it was not going away.

When Dr Westhoff came in, she had me prepare for an exam. She was concerned about my pain. During the exam, she said that I looked healthy. Later I got results back that said everything was normal. At the time of the our meeting, she prescribed a low dose steroid suppository and told me to keep using coconut oil twice per day. Then it was time to talk about my imaging results.

What I had hoped for was not going to happen. My imaging results were inconclusive. They could not tell from the imaging whether I still had cancer or if the tissue was scar tissue from the many D&Cs I have had. Dr Dryer, my radiologist, wanted to stop with the brachytherapy and continue with radiation from the outside of my body. Dr Westhoff said that would make my abdomen more inflamed for further procedures. I personally did not think that radiation was a good experience and I don’t want to continue with it.

I want to continue to lose weight and have the hysterectomy. I feel this is the safest option for me. So in a few weeks I will see Dr Westhoff again. She wants to see how I am doing with weight loss and we will plan to put the IUD in so that we are doing something to control my hormones because I am refusing to take megestrol.

While I have been on this journey, my stomach has shrunk and I am eating smaller meals. I am focusing on getting more potassium in my meals because it is helping keep my trigeminal neuralgia under control and foods high in potassium like: avocados, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and sweet potatoes and yummy.

Tired really isn’t the word. And this isn’t the adventure I want to be having. But I am really thankful for the people God put beside me. I don’t know what I would do without Karen and Jamie Holloway and everyone that is praying for me.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Illegal Aliens are the New Blacks

by Summer D Clemenson | Sep 1, 2025 | Opinions, Politics

I am not sure how to write this but I will trust the process. I have had many thoughts and videos come my way, recently, to ignite the thought that illegal aliens are the new black people aka slavery system. It is a deplorable thing to think about but as some people compare the Trump campaign to Hitler’s Nazi’s, I have been watching historians tell me stories that have never made it into the books I read in school, but are not far from what I read when I checked them out in the library or bought them myself. Similar stories can be told about how white people treated and treat Native Americans (this term includes humans that live in the entire continent, not just in the United States). These stories were not passed down because sensitive people would never vote to continue the abuse against civil rights that we still allow. I don’t write this to make everyone who looks like me to feel bad. I am not responsible for actions that happened before I was born, but I am responsible for what happens at my hand, during my life.

We have been sold the idea that illegal aliens are a drain on the system. They are a waste of our tax dollars. They are all criminals. That all criminals should be sent somewhere else, anywhere else because The United States of America is better than all other countries and we should be able to live without cares and troubles. But that is not true. All countries are made of humans and all humans are imperfect.

All humans can keep other gods before our Creator,
All humans can take our Creators name in vain.
All humans can forget to keep the Sabbath day holy.
All humans can dishonor their mother and father and be dishonored by their parents.
All humans can kill.
All humans can commit adultery (either with their body or in their mind).
All humans can steal.
All humans can tell lies against their neighbor.
All humans can covet their neighbor’s spouse.
All humans can covet their neighbor’s belongings.

All sins can be born from these.

If you make a man less than what he is, in the eyes of others, you have sinned because all men are created in the image of God, our Creator. Pulpits were used to indoctrinate ignorant people in how enslaved people were not full humans. In how black people were worth less than the family pet. But the bible does not mention skin color often, except where it says that Jesus‘ skin is the color of copper and His hair is like cotton. This would be likely, since, His mother, Mary, was born in Nazareth which is in Palestine; actually right where Israel is trying to annihilate people in Gaza, right now. So the vision we have been fed that Jesus was blonde haired and blue eyed, is completely false. And pulpits, television and phone screens, computer monitors and magazine and newspapers are being used to educate us whichever way we will sway.

I am in shock when I read the comments of hatred from people that blindly believe that, at all cost, we must remove illegal immigrants. My heart aches because these same people don’t stop for a moment and think about what that term means. Yes, we have many illegal immigrants in The United States. But many people who came here illegally, are no longer here illegally. They came here at all cost because where they were was toxic and unsafe and they wanted better for their family. So they came to America. They found ways to get green cards. They have jobs. They pay taxes. Their children are United States citizens. ICE is not checking IDs before they detain people of color. They are using tax records to find people to deport. They are leaving children without parents, who now are part of the already burdened foster care system. They are leaving jobs that white people don’t want to work, but society relies on to be done. Sometimes people are being sent to countries they have never been to.

All of this is being done with our tax dollars. Billions of tax dollars that could be spent on our national debt but wont be. Do you know that actually makes us weaker and not stronger? While Trump sends troops into cities that have not asked for help, he is spending money that could bring down our national debt, which makes us more reliant on other countries. He talks about deporting United States citizens, which is illegal, however this has not stopped him from breaking the law, as he pleases. This does not make us stronger, this makes us weaker, in every form of the word.

I have seen Trump supporters call people, who try to explain how his actions are wrong, sheep, but I am here to say that sheep follow blindly. Trump has been stroking many and some have been able to see the truth and some are too scared to admit they were wrong, and some are too stubborn to let go of the chants they have held tightly to, But as one white person that has been looking at patterns. I do not see this ending well.

The Trump Administration is blindly spending our money to wipe out one people group. They are making money while they do it. Every step of the way they are getting richer and we are paying the price for it, not just one way but morally and civilly. As we give our rights away quietly so that illegal citizens can be eradicated quickly, what are we going to do when he can turn the laws on us because we are now a burden he doesn’t want to carry?

Unchecked evil only gets hungrier.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Love Is The Choice

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 27, 2025 | Opinions, Queer Community

It’s ok if Snoop doesn’t like me. Love is the choice.

I have worked hard to like myself. People have always been kind to me when I am around them, but when the chips are down, there are only a few that are actually by my side when I need them. It used to bother me, but I am ok with it now. I know I am intense. I know I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I am satisfied with my crew and myself. I don’t need to impress anyone. I have worked hard to believe this statement.

Even people groups that I belong to have haters and I have to step back and consider what I think about that. Snoop was someone I considered for some time. I don’t like his music, but I love his belief in family and the way he has marketed himself. Yet, now he has made a comment, that I consider very small, about my Queer Family. If you don’t want to go into detail about how Queer families might have children when your grandchildren ask you, you can be vague. It isn’t your job to answer the birds and the bees questions anyway. The thing is, I don’t think any different about Snoop than I ever did. I think he seems like a nice guy. He has worked hard to market himself and create financial stability for his family. I think that is admirable.

What we have to stop doing is judging each other. If I judge you because you judged me, we end up all alone. You don’t have to understand choices people make or how people live to choose to love them. I didn’t choose to be demisexual and bisexual. This was super confusing for me growing up. I thought I was broken. All my friends were attracted to people all the time and I rarely was and when I did feel that way, it was suddenly towards a close friend. It was weird, until I learned the word demisexual, when I was about 40 years old (I am a late bloomer). So even though our sexual orientation may not be a choice, our choice to love people who we don’t understand is.

I choose to love people, even if they don’t love me. That doesn’t mean I give them a lot of my time. I’m not a member of the Snoop Fan Club, but I want to give words to a situation where my Queer Family might be feeling feelings. I want to give perspective. Only love can overcome hate.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Dear Non-Affirming Church

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 26, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving, Queer Community

Dear Pastor,

Although I can hear the love you are trying to convey in your message, I still feel sadness when I read your words. I have been walking with Jesus since I was 5 years old, and He came to me in my back yard when I was playing alone, under my apple trees. He found me when I was alone and then I was never alone. He came before my family fell apart and He has seen me through many traumas. It has been 44 years since that day.

He is smiling at me now.

I didn’t understand myself growing up. I was different. I didn’t have many crushes growing up and I didn’t get googly eyed like my friends did. I thought I was broken. I also thought both men and women were beautiful. But I was raised by my nana, who told me never to waste my affections on someone I wouldn’t marry, while teaching me to be a lady, so I just focused on what was in front of me. I met my wife at work. We were friends for 10 years. She actually helped me through a terrible break up with someone I had also been friends with for 10 years. When I got sick, really sick, she was the one that helped me get well. Although I was aware of feelings, I thought they were just coming from her, until they were not only coming from her. We got married 11 days later.

It took me a year of therapy (I have been in therapy most of my life) to be able to say I was bisexual and later to learn the word demisexual. The first year of our marriage was beautiful and God was with me. I just told people I had married my best friend. That was true. But it was also true that I had not chosen to be bisexual and demisexual. I was created that way. I was also created to be more than that and I was confused, but God wasn’t. When I asked Him if I should divorce my wife, He said, “No.” He also told gave me the following scripture:

I believe that sex and gender are human issues. They are something we only deal with on earth, because in the new world we will have heavenly bodies and will not be given away in marriage. I believe that God knows our hearts and He is bigger than a book with words in it that has been edited by humans. Did you know that the word homosexual was not added to the bible until 1947? It was added by humans that wanted to control other humans. The term they were trying to describe was abusers. Consenting people that are committed to each other and love each other are not abusing each other.

My wife and I have been married 11 years. That is longer than both our parents were.

What makes me the most sad about churches that are not affirming, is that they claim to be the body of Christ, yet they create these areas that are ok to judge people and set them aside. I know that I can come to your church, and I will probably be treated kindly by most, feared by some, ignored by the ones that don’t know what to do with people like me and wife. But some day you are going to preach something from your pulpit about how my marriage is an abomination to God and if I brought one of my Queer Family members to visit that day, they might not have made the same peace with the incorrect doctrine, as I have, because Jesus is the Living Word of the bible. The one we read has been translated badly. What can I do to change their broken heart?

I appreciate your kind words but I can’t affirm your church.

Be Blessed,

Summer D Clemenson

Photo Credit: https://soundcloud.com/sssleye/walkingouturdoor

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

5 Books for August 2025

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 25, 2025 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

Are you looking for an adventure but it is too hot outside? Sometimes you are sun burnt and you need to stay inside. I get it. The sun actually makes me sick; I am not joking, I am very thankful for air conditioning. So I use books to help me go on adventures I would never be able to go on otherwise. Even if you aren’t a kid, sometimes children’s books can give you a short jaunt, when all you have is a few minutes, and it makes all the difference in the world. I look forward to my time with any book. I hope you do too.

Now without further ado 5 Books for August 2025:

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The Underwear Book by Todd Parr

The Underwear Book by Todd Parr
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The Underwear Book by Todd Parr is a whimsical paperback book about underwear. We learn about different kinds of underwear and how to take care of it and also how to wear it. This colorful picture book is fun and even full of humor.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Underwear Book by Todd Parr on Amazon.

~

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman by Lesléa Newman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In the book Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman, Heather is starting school. And does she love it! But at story time she hears about other families and wonders if her family is the only family without a daddy. Ms. Molly, asks everyone to draw a picture of their family. In the end, the children share their pictures and Ms. Molly points out that it doesn’t matter who is in your family, as longs there is love.

This sweet fiction LGBTQIA+ story is brought to life by illustrations by Laura Cornell.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman on Amazon.

~

Walter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray

Walter the Farting Dog: A Triumphant Toot and Timeless Tale That’s Touched Hearts for Decades–A laugh- out-loud funny picture book by William Kotzwinkle
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have read all the Walter the Farting Dog books by Willam Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray, but not the first one — not Walter the Farting Dog — until now and I absolutely love it! Just like all Walter’s adventures in farting, there is a sweetness in the family and even though the stories are silly, the love is real. The illustrations by Audrey Colman are fun and colorful. I think all kids will enjoy these children’s classics books.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Walter the Farting Dog by Willam Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray on Amazon.

~

The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Leslea Newman

The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Lesléa Newman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Leslea Newman is splendid and will be enjoyable to any person who is easily excited about the world and poetry around them. Roger is just like one of those people and he is often late because he is easily distracted by the spectacular, magnificent, elegant world he lives in and in the end, he even proves to his parents how stunning it really is. The fantastic illustrations by Peter Ferguson really help make this story more brilliant. I highly recommend this story to your book collection and your vocabulary list!

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Leslea Newman on Amazon.

~

The Peace Book by Todd Parr

The Peace Book by Todd Parr
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Peace Book by Todd Parr is a great nonfiction cultural book. It is easy to understand and easy to share. The pictures are bright and simple. The friends message is bright and simple too. This book is a keeper.

View all my reviews

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of The Peace Book by Todd Parr on Amazon.

~

This month’s books were very touching and thoughtful. It helped me stay in the right perception for where I want to be, even when there are stressful things happening in the world and it is very hot outside. I am thankful that I have access to wonderful books to help me feed my brain happy thoughts. I hope you do too.

Be blessed.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Have Been Writing My Story

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 25, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions

I have been writing my story over the years. I have written a lot about family drama in my life, I have dealt more with my mother than my father because I lived with her. She was easier to reach and to blame. Even though she wasn’t perfect, I always knew she was giving her all, with little to no support, to raise 3 very strong, independent and individual women. She did not have it easy. But she loved us. Always.

I tried to read The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and I had to stop. It was too much. Now I’m reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown and we are in a part of the book that describes the power of writing your story, what I have been doing for years. While reading this, I am proud of myself because my writing has become more of ownership than blame, however I am having dreams and visions of my father and his second wife; even if she is not in the view, she is present because she is in charge.

I know regardless of whether or not, they fell for each other on purpose, my father’s second wife, knew he was married with three young children when she met him. I can’t get over this. I have not been able to forgive this. True, my father is the one that promised before God and our family that he would be faithful to my mother and he is the one that broke that vow, and every vow he ever made to me before he left us. But any true respectable lady would have stayed away from a married man with children, at least until the divorce was final, and then she would have supported his relationship with his children, even if she hated their mother. But instead, she bedded him, moved him right in, and when they got married at the courthouse, they didn’t include us, but she told us that her relationship with my father and his relationship with her would be paramount to everything; and so it was. She looked me right in the eyes as she said it.

I tried so hard to be good enough but I never was. I have both witnessed and have heard of the unloving, abusive and sometimes illegal things my father and his second wife have done. They always show a good face and sometimes there was even some love felt but…What I came to realize is that the traumatic experiences they have lived with in their past, that they refuse to get help with, leaks out sometimes and makes them unsafe for people who have chosen a gentle life instead of one with rage and abuse. There is no other resolution than to walk away.

I was awakened the other day by my father’s voice saying my name. I checked with one of my siblings. He is well. I am glad and I still pray for him and even his second wife; but I don’t see a way for reconciliation.

I am responsible for leaving. It was my choice. I used to feel pain about it. But since I have been talking with my mom and my sister, I realize, even though I had to walk away to find me, I only had to stay away from the unhealthy relationships. My mom and sister and I are getting to know each other as grown ups and it is nice. I don’t think my father, his second wife, or even my other two siblings can let the past go, or let me be my true self without more abuse. I also know my limitations and maybe I can’t be my best self with them. It’s ok to let people go, in love. I still pray for them when they are on my heart. I want them to have their heart’s desires, just without me.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Karen G Clemenson Talks A Lot

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 24, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions

Karen G Clemenson talks a lot. If you know her, you may already know this. She comes and goes a lot too. With three jobs she runs in the door for a quick lunch, stops in to change clothes, turns in for dinner and might even change clothes again for another shift, all in one day sometimes. Usually, thankfully, she only works two jobs on the same day, but you get the idea. On her pit stops she downloads everything she has gone through, plans to go through, wants to go through and we might talk about world news or something we read about.

There are a lot of names and concerns she shares with me. She also likes to tell me, in great detail, exactly what she thinks is going to happen, up until she gets to come home. She talks fast because she is on a time crunch and she is super excited! At some point I can’t comprehend what she is dumping on me and it shows. She mistakenly thinks I don’t care.

It isn’t that I don’t care. I probably have not met any of these people; if I have, it has been very quick and not long enough to get them in my long term memory (my short term memory is terrible), or worse it has only been on Facebook which means I might know their name and about their family but I can’t pick them out in a crowd. Also she is talking like a teenage girl! Who can take all that in? It is too much information in too short of time, my brain can’t handle that much data. Plus she is always late and oftentimes something changes so I don’t need a play by play. Karen will be home when she is home.

In our house, I am slow and steady wins the race. My movements are measured because of chronic pain and I try to stay laid back because when you have anxiety disorder, you don’t need a trigger. I like calm. My wife thinks she likes calm, but she is a jack rabbit with one leg pounding until it is too tired to move and even in her sleep, it sometimes starts pounding. She needs my calm because she doesn’t need any criticism because the tapes in her head, that we haven’t been able to break yet, are more than enough. I guess that is some of why we work.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

It is Time to Find a Church Family

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 23, 2025 | About Summer, Opinions, Queer Community

I feel like it is time to find a church family.

I left the church when I was 25 by accident, however, it turned into a purposeful walk with the Lord, where I learned amazing things. I had been so distracted in church, it was often hard to hear Him. Later, I had learned that I enjoyed my time with just Jesus, more than corporate religion. My accidental fellowship and my conversations with my believing friends was enough to sustain my need for fellowship, along with my relationship with my Savior. Eventually, I began visiting churches, however, many times, I was disgusted by the lust, pride, and greed that was easy to see at the churches I had visited, so I stayed in my lane.

Now I find myself ready for more fellowship. But in some of my attempts to find a church family, I was uncomfortable at non-affirming churches. Although I know God has never left or forsaken me, and He has ordained me, feeling the fear of others, makes me sad. This week I sent messages to 7 different churches, mostly nondenominational, because I am not a traditional person, and a few I have gone to in the past.

So far, I have heard back from 2 1/2…meaning one said they are definitely not affirming. One said they want to talk to me about it over coffee. And one church was super excited to invite Karen G Clemenson and I to their affirming church; First Christian Church of Longview’s service starts at 11 am, but coffee is served at 10:30.

It is super hot this weekend, so we plan to visit next weekend.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Got An Apology…

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 15, 2025 | Cancer, Chronic Illness, Opinions

I got an apology from my doctors office today. It summed up several calls I have been working on all week because I am out of Eliquis right now as of 4 PM on Friday.

I ordered a refill the week before last because I didn’t have enough for this week. I refill my pill sorters on Saturday night and always order whatever I need either Sunday or Monday. I had enough to get through this morning so I didn’t plan to start bothering anybody until Monday.

I knew there was a chance there would be hiccups because not only was there a dose change but my regular doctor didn’t prescribe this bottle of Eliquis, it was a hospital doctor. Plus I now have a new specialist; a hematologist and I wasn’t sure how she would factor in.

I kept checking with the pharmacy to see if my prescription had been filled and it had not so I called my gynecological oncologist, Dr Westhoff’s, office because she has been managing this medication. After two calls I was told that it was decided the my hematologist, Dr Dong, would be taking over this medication and Dr Westhoff would be sending the information over to her. This was Wednesday.

Thursday I called Dr Dong’s office and was told that the medical assistant could see there was a message from Dr Westhoff’s office but she couldn’t see what it was, and she would make a note of my call.

I have had two occasions with blood clots in my lungs where I came close to death. Self-advocacy is always necessary, but I am also very concerned about not repeating my past experiences. I am trying to remain calm because at the middle of Thursday afternoon, I know I will take my last dose of Eliquis on Friday morning.

I’m dealing with a cold and slept in but I still call the pharmacy by 2 pm on Friday. I had woken up to use the bathroom and took my early morning pills. I am out of Eliquis. The pharmacy says they have received my prescription from Dr Dong’s office but my insurance won’t cover it. Now I must call United Healthcare.

So I call United Healthcare and I speak with Hussan and he tells me that the last time I picked up my prescription, I was given a three month supply and they will not cover my prescription until the second week in September. I appreciate their math, however, I explain to Hassan that I have cancer. I had gone off my Eliquis to undergo radiation therapy and three days later, I had tons of blood clots in both lungs. I spent 5 days in the hospital and had to have a thrombectomy and when I left the hospital, the doctor had prescribed that I would take 10 mg of Eliquis, twice a day for 6 days and then return to 5 mg, twice daily. However, those directions were changed by my hematologist, who said to continue on 10 mg, twice daily for the time being. Since Eliquis does not come in 10 mg tablets, that is why I am now out and need a refill.

Hassan told me that he could not help me. What needed to happen was that Dr Dong needed to file a form of medical necessity (this might not be the correct name of the document, I didn’t write it down). He said she would know what this was and this is what they need in order to override the block on my insurance coverage. I was appreciative but irritated. And then to make sure I was super frustrated, he put me on hold and patched me through to another gal (I couldn’t understand her name) in order for her to set up prescription delivery. I didn’t want to do that and we were both antagonized by that so we said goodbye and hung up.

Then I called Dr Dong’s office again and I told the office person the name of the document that I knew at the time, because it was fresh in my mind, and she agreed, the insurance company was just being difficult. She put me through to my doctors nurse, who was obviously busy helping someone else, so I left a message…

Then I called my wife, Karen G Clemenson, because, even when I leave my number, they sometimes call her number, so I needed her to know what they were calling about.

Finally I got the call. My prescription is filled and covered by my insurance. My doctor’s office is sorry because they should have updated prescription before so it would not have had to be like this. Personally I am just thankful that Karen can pick it up after she gets off work.

This is why you don’t wait until the last minute to check on your meds.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Am A Jesus Follower

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 12, 2025 | Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I am a Jesus Follower. I do see value in ALL people because I believe God made them. God told us to love our neighbor and He did not differentiate between anyone.

I have read the bible many times and it says to take care of the fatherless, widows, the sick, to be kind to emigrants and everyone because we have all been made in the image of God; we are all connected.

There is a different standard for christians than those who have other beliefs. This makes sense because if you have never read the bible and accepted the word for truth, how can you be held accountable to it?

I don’t have a lot of grace for people that call themselves christian yet don’t love all of God’s creation, who don’t have empathy and compassion and care as we were told to. Who don’t do as we were taught to. This is the apocalypse we were warned about. The undressing of the church.

There are people that call themselves christians that have protected rapists. They are cheering on others who terrorize the innocent. They have made money and power their god instead of the Creator while justifying murder of women and sick people who can’t get proper medical care, while they shout about their religious beliefs and our christian nation. They have continued to pay for wars while innocent lives are annihilated, even as children starve.

No. Not all Christians are the same. Some know a God that is gentle and lowly in spirit and wants to bear your burdens. Some Christians know that our God laughs at the enemy now because in the end, they have nothing. Some Christians really do love their neighbors, all of them, but we do not have much use for the ones that are hurting themselves or the ones they are hurting because they have decided they are not worthy. But I pray for them too.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Book Review: Come Thirsty by Max Lucado

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 11, 2025 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions

I have always enjoyed the books I have read by Max Lucado. Come Thirsty is another of those inspirational books, yet because I was not ready for this book because my mind was stubborn, I still needed to read this nonfiction book and it helped to chip away at some of the hardness that I had let collect on me because that is what happens to us when we live in the world and forget to keep drinking the living water that is Jesus.

Even though we are not of this world, we do live here, and sometimes we forget to keep looking toward our spirituality life source so that we don’t pick up the old life that drags us down.

Come Thirsty is a Christian book with short chapters that make it easy to read while you get ready for the day or steal a few moments between tasks and try to get your footing between the stresses that come with balancing all the things we do while we try be all the things we are trying to be.

I got this book from my personal collection. You can get your own copy of Come Thirsty by Max Lucado on Amazon.

Read My Review on GoodReads:

Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry for His Touch by Max Lucado
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If your looking for a book to surprise you while you are trudging through life, Come Thirsty by Max Lucado is that book. Read the pages and let it remind you how much you are loved by God and how special you are because you are.

View all my reviews

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

I Want To Be Done Now

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 9, 2025 | Cancer, Chronic Illness, Life, Prayers & Thanksgiving

On August 9th I wrote the following on Facebook:

This message is a very vulnerable one. I try hard to not live in this state because I know that I am here to live the life that God has created for me to live and I am not afraid to die. In fact there are very few things that I am actually afraid of for myself.

Angry Men Yelling
Earthquakes
Snakes
Personal Suffering
Other People Suffering

But through this time where I have had to undergo things that have shown me I am stronger than I realized, I know that the prayers of others have helped me so much. Although I try not to complain too often, when I have posted that I was suffering, those posts have been overwhelmed by the caring of others and I have felt the prayers and love from people I have both met and not met.

In a world where I have chosen to not join a church per se, I have found a church family, right here on Facebook, where there are people that regularly check in with each other and support each other, even if we have never met. We pray for each other and lift each other up and I find that to be refreshing because we don’t have to, but we do.

So when the moments come when I want to be done happen, I am always encouraged by you to keep going because there is always someone who cares and gives me encouragement. Thank you.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

Wade In The Water

by Summer D Clemenson | Aug 5, 2025 | About Summer, Life, Opinions, Politics, Prayers & Thanksgiving

I recently have begun looking for old songs that have called to me throughout my life. I hummed a tune to Karen and she immediately began singing “Wade in the Water,” which, with a very small amount of research, I learned is an Underground Railroad Hymn. It was used to communicate how to travel from slavery to freedom.

These words tell people to make sure to stay off the path and get into the water because the slave hunter’s dogs couldn’t smell their scent when they went into the water and the rivers led to salvation. Wading also implies defiance. Unlike swimming or floating, you must push against the water and current to wade in the water; it is work to stay steady in the mud and rock and grasses.

Although my ancestors came from Europe and Canada, I have always seen a beauty and connection to Native American and Black culture. I feel connection with trees and tall grasses in the wind. I love to feel leaves, as though we are talking. Worshiping with Jerry Chapman, a local Native Pastor, showed me the beauty of drums and how we are all connected. In my 20’s I learned so many lessons about how I was made to understand more than one realm. Through nature God shows us that we are all one. Because He made the first man and breathed His breath into him and humanity was created.

I don’t need to read or listen to the news to know a catastrophe has happened. I can feel it. When I was a child, I would see things and have dreams that scared me. But as an adult, with the bible and more experienced teachers, I learned how to pray about these things, limit spiritual attack, and now I am learning to rest.

Recently someone sent me a short video of a white woman. Her message was that people make groups to divide us: Queer/Straight, Black/White, Disabled/Able-Bodied…and we just need to love everyone. Tee Hee (I am sorry that is what I heard in my head…and I know it is judgmental and not fair)

My problem with straight, white, healthy women telling me to just love everyone, is not that I don’t agree, or that I don’t think she might not be sincere, but she, or someone like her, has been saying something like that for a long time, while straight, white, healthy men keep making laws that make it harder for queer, or disabled, or people of color, or women to live their lives the way they want. God made free will for everyone, not just white men. I know not all white women support some of the terror in the world, not all white men are terrorist, and what I am saying might sound unfair. It is.

My black, queer, disabled family would like to invite you to research what other black families still are living with. Maybe read about what queer communities have to deal with. Have you read about some of the issues disabled people face? Yes we do need to love each other but we also need to know each other.

I think “Wade in the Water” is a universal song. We are still struggling and everyone struggles. We are all needing salvation.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

We Are Not Friends

by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 31, 2025 | About Summer, Wellness

I blocked someone today. I don’t block many people but I blocked this person because they keep sending me friend requests and the reason we are not friends, after 3 decades, is that they chose to break off our friendship. They had done this a number of times. They had also re-engaged with me when they missed me again because I allowed it.

Over many years I allowed a co-dependent relationship. I forgave being judged wrongly many times. I overlooked bad behavior. I carried them a lot. I failed a lot too because this relationship was toxic. Two mentally ill people can really make a mess with each other’s hearts and minds, even when they have good intentions.

There are many good memories between us but there is also pain and abuse.

A few years ago, as I was getting healthier, I was seeing some imbalances and wanted growth. I felt that I was carrying more than my share. When I brought this up, I expected a grownup conversation but that wasn’t what I got. This was to be our last conversation. It will remain our last conversation because I realized we did not want the same thing and that is ok.

It is ok to let people go that we can’t grow with. It’s okay to set boundaries for yourself. I pray for this person when they are on my heart and I always will but I am done being abused.

~

Feel free to leave your comments below!

My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven. For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Jesus Follower, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information. If you are interested in becoming a Jesus Follower…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.

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The Underwear Book by Todd Parr

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

Walter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray

The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Leslea Newman

The Peace Book by Todd Parr

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Read My Review on GoodReads:

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