by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 10, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving
When you are a Christian or any other religion where you have a Creator, prayer is probably the most important part of your belief system, or at least it should be. That is, at least what I think. I got this book from a box of of books from my sister and it was a great reminder. How To Talk With God by Joyce Meyer is a simple reminder of some very basic things about how to talk with your Creator. It should be basic because it really is just talking to your best friend, at least He is YOUR best friend.
When you don’t know what to do…
When you have a need…
When you feel anxious and afraid…
When someone offends you or hurts your feelings…
When you are sick…
When you are discouraged or feel like giving up…
When someone you love is suffering…
When you have a problem of any kind…
PRAY! (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 7, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
The Florence Legacy by Lauraine Snelling came to me in a bag of books that I have been working on for over a year as I also worked on other piles of books from my own collection and library books. I tend to be attracted to intense reads that require at least a few Google searches and lots of notes. This book was not that but it was kind of a nice reprieve from my usual.
The main character, Bree, is a widow, a single mother of two adult children, a grandmother and an author. At the beginning of the story one of her close friends from a group of friends has passed away. Their group had always talked about going to Italy and in the will of their lost friend, they are surprised to receive the money they need to go on their dream trip. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jul 6, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
Being a person that does not believe in parties but people, I was grateful to one of my wife, Karen G Clemenson’s, clients that suggested that I look up Nikki R. Haley when I was voicing my dissatisfaction with our current president. With All Due Respect Defending America with Grit and Grace by Nikki R. Haley is a great book and Haley is strong woman that helped me to see both my favorite and least favorite presidents as more human, which has helped me personally as well.
Nikkie R. Haley was born to Indian-American immigrants. She was raised in Bamberg, South Carolina. Her parents were well to do in India but chose to come to the United States so that their children would have opportunities they could never have in India. Her fathers wears a turban because he is a Sikh. She was disqualified from a children’s pageant because she was neither white or black. These are just a few things that made her different as a child growing up in the Southern United States. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 27, 2023 | About Summer, Life, Opinions
I keep thinking about this funny story of shopping with Nana lately that keeps me chuckling. My nana really tried with me. She was not accustomed to dealing with a child as fat as I was. When she was a child and had gained a few extra pounds my great-grandmother (Grammy) took her to the doctor and Nana was put on a diet. During her pregnancies, my grandfather was in the Army and the Army hospitals were very strict about weight gain during pregnancies. That is probably why Nana was so calorie conscious. She was naturally a very active woman. At her prime, she was 5 foot 7 inches tall; just like me. If I had been born with her metabolism I would probably have grown to be somewhere between a size 10-12 just like her, but I was born with a different metabolism. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 22, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews
My sister, Jamie Holloway, has figured out how to get people to mail her books to read for her opinion and when she is done with them, I often am the recipient of bags of books to read. Drums of Autumn by Diana Gabaldon was one of those books in a bag full of books and I am glad I read it. Although it was super long, it has 1070 pages, the font is small and the margin was super tight which made it hard to read until I got farther into the book, I really enjoyed it, once I got over the violent beginning. People are a bit more civilized now than they were in the 1700’s and I really don’t like senseless violence. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 12, 2023 | About Summer, Life, Opinions
Grammy came and saw me a few days before Mom sent the email that told me you had had your stroke. I saw her in my reflection in the mirror. I had been thinking about her off and on. She didn’t say anything but I felt her very strongly. I knew it was profound but I didn’t know why until I read that the doctor didn’t think you would recover. I don’t remember her voice; she died when I was so little. But I feel her love and strength. I know she was the head of the family until she died and you had taken her spot. I don’t know what we will do now; I think I will have to become that head of my family. I think I have known that for a long time now.
It was Thursday May 25, 2023 when my mother emailed me. I know it was hard for her. I appreciate her communication. I know you understand why I have stayed away, because you told me that grandparents understand. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t enjoyed our visits in my dreams and the letters I have written you. I wish you were able to answer them. I have missed your letters to so much. As I was talking to God about you, I knew He was with you. Most importantly I didn’t want you to suffer and being unable to communicate or move was not the way you would want to be alive. I asked Him to heal what He was going to heal, knowing that that doesn’t always mean our bodies, and thanked Him for his grace and mercy for our family. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 10, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I was wandering mindlessly through the Longview Public Library with a friend when I found this book. I didn’t need another book to read; I have tons of books on my To Read pile but You Don’t Know Us Negroes by Zora Neale Hurston called to me. This is only the second book I have read by Zora Neale Hurston. The purpose of You Don’t Know Us Negroes and Other Essays is to share the true beauty and idiosyncrasies of Black culture. My first experience with Hurston was somewhere around 2005, while I was attending Lower Columbia College. I was extremely ignorant of Black culture, but I was drawn to a book on display for Black History Month entitled: Their Eyes Were Watching God. Because of Hurston and a few other authors I have continued to be curious about all other cultures and I read all kinds of books. I would say, that beyond the grave, Hurston must live on. (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | Jun 5, 2023 | Poetry
I don’t look it but I am the most gentle of flower
You told me I walked like a football player
I would never be loved
or get a good job
Instead of telling me I was strong, creative and reliable
you told me I was slow, stubborn and had to have things my way (more…)
by Summer D Clemenson | May 24, 2023 | About Summer, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Life
The last week or so has been a lot. I am tired and I am scared. These are the words to sum up how I feel and I hate that I have only these words to say. Last Monday, May 15, 2023 I had my final D&C. I didn’t realize it would be my last one, but now I know it is. It was the most painful. I don’t usually ask for pain meds, but I begged for some, at least 2 to get through the first day. After that I welcome pain to help me know my limits, but that first day, I felt like my lady parts were on fire and it was not something to be ignored. When I heard from the doctor again it was to inform me that I had to come into the hospital again for an MRI on Sunday May 21. There is nothing calming, sweet or non-traumatic about an MRI so I wont go into details, but my technician was really nice.
Today Karen and I met with my oncologist, online for my post-op. We were told that the hormone treatments have kept the endometrial cancer from growing or spreading but they have not done anything to get rid of the cancer. We have been working on this for over a year now. But since the treatment is keeping it at bay, my doctor is concerned about my breathing and my weight (it is allergy season and I am very congested and I have only recently begun taking Mounjaro) and my doctor is about to have a baby and going on leave from June to October, we are planning for my hysterectomy to be in October. This will give my body a chance to see if Mounjaro will help me with weight loss, get through allergy season, and my doctor will have a chance to have her baby and heal and bond with her little one.
I trust my doctor. She is a good doctor. She gave me many more details but beyond the fact that my surgery will be at Good Samaritan Hospital because they are set up for larger patients and she wants me to see a plastic surgeon about a tummy tuck if they can’t do a laparoscopic hysterectomy, I don’t remember anything else. It is weird how the word CANCER can create a vacuum in your mind, making it really hard to remember important things.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 27, 2023 | About Summer, Opinions
I am in a semi-shut-down. My therapist asked me to write down my emotions prior to a real shut down. I think they are pretty much the same. I feel alone. I feel stagnant. I feel exhausted. I feel like my choices don’t make an impact. I feel like I can’t have what I want. I feel resentful. I feel jealous, not that I want to take what other’s have but it has been seemingly impossible to get ahead so we can have our own. I feel angry that I feel jealous. I feel sad because while I don’t have the stability that I crave, there are things I don’t do that would make a difference, but if I don’t feel like I have a safe space to come home to, I can’t really put myself out there.
This has been a hard few months. My sister, Jamie Holloway, has been through a terrible bout of sickness that no one thought she would make it through. Some for a moment and some forever. I know my friend enough to know to give her a chance to rest a bit and make up her mind before I write her off. And after about a week she proved to me that she was going to fight for that ounce of life she had, but others had made choices based on her condition when she came into the hospital septic and in renal failure. For many patients this would have been the end but Jamie is nothing of the average patient. Unfortunately this left her having to prove that she was a fighter and also having to make some hard decisions. Luckily her sister was able to be here and watch the transformation and also to fight with her. I was able to cheer them both on and try to be there twice a week while Jamie was in the hospital and now 1 time a week, while she is home. She lives in Vancouver and I too am chronic, we have 1 car and my wife works 3 jobs so it has been a challenge.
Besides Jamie, I am trying to focus on the end of my therapy; I am about to graduate out. I needed to define my last need. This is it. I get overwhelmed with too many stressors. I have also begun meeting with a peer counselor, I have been taking essential oils classes, trying to get used to my wife’s work schedule which includes days, graveyard and swings, sometimes all three in a 24 hour period, while continuing to make sure the laundry is done and there is something good to eat in the fridge whenever she walks in the door, because I am not sure when that will be. I am also getting closer to my last D&C before we decide if I must have a hysterectomy and that scares the hell out of me…all while we live in a hotel.
The hotel is a wonderful option, when you are technically homeless, compared to living in your car or on the street. But it is stressful. This is a nicer hotel. It costs a lot. But it allows my companion animal and it is not infested with bed bugs and cockroaches, which I can’t say about a previous motel we lived in. Why would we live in a motel or hotel, over an apartment or house? It is not easy to get into a place without the first and last month deposit, pet deposit and a low or no credit score and no rental history. Unfortunately when you live in motel/hotels, or with friends, you don’t have a lease so you don’t acquire rental history. It takes a long time to correct bad credit and build good credit. We have been working on that. There are programs meant to help us but if you are willing to work and can’t stop everything whenever you are called by them, it makes it harder for them to help you. If you have mental of physical health issues that cause barriers that the organizations don’t want to accommodate that too is an issue. When you have an emotional support animal, even if you have the paperwork, renters will just wait until someone else comes along without an animal to rent to so they don’t have to deal with you. This is not a temporary reality to me, this is my life for that last 9 years. It is taking its toll. Sometimes my compulsive thoughts just take over. I feel crazy at home with regularity.
I don’t have a kitchen, a garden or another room to go in to. These are things that many people take for granted but that I know would bring so much value to my life. I have made do because I am a creative and strong woman. But I want to live in a peaceful place where strangers are not walking by my front door or my only window all the time. Where I can vacuum my home when I want to and choose what cleaning products are used. I want to be a foster mother and love on children that deserve to be loved. I want so much more in my life.
I know I am not alone. I have God, Karen G Clemenson and my cat (who doesn’t think he is a cat). I also have some great friends that I would like to be able to invite to my home. I want to be able to make choices about how to decorate my home because I hate the colors of the room I live in and I want to express my wife and I through design and practicality. I want to have more room to have my hobbies around. Right now my choices are survival choices but I would make more choices if the majority of my things weren’t in storage.
I have been sick lately because of the stress of the last month. I am getting better and I am trying to get some balance back. But my emotional balance feels out of reach and I feel overwhelmed. I force myself to do things because I know it is good for me to get out of here. Not just because I hate it here but because it is good to see the world and the trees and talk to someone that isn’t in my head. I was made for so much more than this hotel room. And yet I am so thankful for this hotel room because I see the remnants of people’s lives on the street. I see the tents and tarps and I know that I am blessed. When we go to the grocery store, I see other homeless people and some of them are mental health patients that don’t have a clear wellness plan and I am grateful that I have Karen to help me stay on mine. So just because I live with challenges, I know that we have come so far and I am not unaware of that.
But it doesn’t stop me from not eating or eating too much or sleeping my day away sometimes. The weight of my thoughts continue into my dreams which often include being chased or attempted murder by relatives. Sometimes my dreams are sweet and I relish those. I love the ones with children, where I can cherish them and help them to grow or help a group of people work more efficiently because I have the resources needed to do that. Xavier wakes me up when the dreams are too stressful. I appreciate that. That is one of his tasks, besides making sure I take my meds when the alarm goes off. He can be very persistent when he needs to be; he has learned from Karen how to stare at me just right and then regularly meow until I just take them.
Xavier is getting old and I wont have him forever. I am thinking my next emotional support animal will be a dog so I will have a walking partner. I need a house with a fenced yard. Small dogs make me nervous and I have only felt safe with large dogs. I have learned to love other people’s small dogs, but I want a German Shepherd blend or something similar. I believe in rescues so I am not going to seek out a pure breed. We are all mutts in our house. So we are back to the home. This is the argument that I always come back to. Most cats don’t like to go for walks and I need to walk, yet I can’t run so I need to be able to provide a space where my dog can do that because dogs need to use their muscles and run. Plus sometimes a dog can reach a hurting child better and faster than a human can and I know that a loving dog might be just what a hurting foster child needs while they adapt to new surroundings.
But even looking for rentals is a stressful thing for me. I am angered that renters are so selfish. It is so expensive to find a home. The rules and expectations are set so high. You must have 3 times the income of a rental that is already nearly $2000 per month, 2-3 years of good rental history, no evictions and you have to be able to stand on your head and hold your breath for 3 minutes. How does one do that in an area where most of the jobs are minimum wage…and that is why my wife works 3 jobs. Most rentals don’t allow for any pets, let alone one little cat that is really well cared for, and wouldn’t have it any other way. I know that some pet owners don’t care for their animals properly, but I am not that person. My cat has a high standard and if Xavier is not happy, we do not sleep, until he is. I really do get up with my cat in the middle of the night just for his need for cuddles; if I don’t he will sit at the foot of my bed and grunt until I do. If he doesn’t think something is clean enough he complains about that too. I know, like Jamie, me and my household is not the norm…I wish that other households had not ruined it for me.
I am trying to build the future I have been dreaming of for as long as I can remember. I am feeling desperate. I have prayed for this for a long time and so many times that I am feeling like I am losing hope and my faith, which I rely on for my next breath, is wavering. I don’t want more empty promises that turn out to not be true. I need a miracle. I don’t want to shut down.
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 26, 2023 | About Summer, Life, Opinions
I woke up today from a dream. A nightmare, really…In my dream my father was trying to murder me. I know this isn’t real, but only a dream. But in the dream my father was angry because I didn’t like the way he wanted to celebrate Christmas and I wasn’t going to come. There is some truth to that. And I don’t come to family functions. Actually I have had to cut myself off from the family because I don’t like the way they treat me and when I asked for change it didn’t come, so I realized I had to make the painful choice to choose to separate myself from them.
The part of the dream that is surprising to me is that I am so used to being in danger at the hand of family members in my dreams, that although in my dream, I breathlessly defended myself, I woke up feeling very normal. I am allowing myself to mourn the expectation that I should feel safe with my relatives. I feel sad. But I also feel hopeful because I do know I am safe because I chose my safety. I didn’t ask my relatives to do anything I wasn’t willing to do. I asked them to show me respect and seek therapy, for their own peace and mental balance. It isn’t healthy to lose days or weeks after a visit with family members; that is my experience with many of my relatives. I can’t help but wonder if they didn’t just trigger my PTSD but maybe I triggered them, which is why our visits are so stressful. That thought too makes me feel sad. What if I made their lives hard, in the same way they caused all the emotional memories to take over and make what could have been a great time, be anxiety ridden and stressful?
In my dream I was being chased by my father, which according to an article I read, could symbolize that I feel out of control. There is truth to this. I have no control over what the rest of my relatives are going to do. I can only control myself. That is why I left. I asked for more care and relationship and it was not available to me. I asked for better honest communication and less manipulation and that could not be arranged. My family shows love through things and I don’t want things. Money is of higher value than relationship and that is not how I roll so I had to go. I was told that if I was the only one with the problem, then it was my problem.
In the article I read, they only gave examples of what it might mean if someone were trying to kill me with a weapon, but in my dream my father was trying to strangle me. I don’t need someone to tell me that he wanted me to stop talking. I was taught to be the secret keeper by both my parents. I am a great secret keeper, which makes me a great person to confide in, for people that need someone to talk to, but I have kept secrets that didn’t benefit me and I am not doing that anymore. I need to talk about the pain that I held in. That pain is killing me. I am telling my stories. Unfortunately, my stories are attached to other people and this is making other people angry. Abusers don’t like to be outed, especially when they may not have realized they were abusers because of their own trauma experiences that have never been healed. But you have to let the ugliness out into the light so it can be healed and that is what I am doing.
I am proud of myself though because in the dream there were other parts of the dream where I was showing how I have grown in my ability to make decisions and take my power back and I want to revel in that for a moment. Towards the end of my dream I was taking control over the parts of the dream that were my domain. No, I can’t control other people, but I can control my life. I can set myself up for success. I can speak my truth. I can help others. Maybe some day there will be enough healing to allow room for my relatives but that is in God’s hands. He has done larger miracles and He knows best. He knows and loves my relatives too. I have faith that He wants to heal us all. Maybe that is why I was at peace when I woke up. I don’t have to worry about His timing or His protection.
Read More:
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Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 22, 2023 | Community, Life, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving
I have spent the last week dialoguing with a local woman, that I will refer to as Susan, about homosexuality. She is a Christian woman that has different ideas than I do. I believe she is a kind woman but according to my understanding of my queer family, she is judging us and I have told her so, in a loving way. She shared a video with me of a woman that at one time was a LBGTQIA+ Activist but now is telling others that you can’t be gay and be a Christian. I appreciate the woman in the video’s experience but we all have our own experiences and I don’t agree with her.
As I told Susan: I know what God has told me. When I realized that I was queer, I had already gone through so much with God’s help; little did I know what He had in store for me. But when I had come to the realization of my sexuality, I told Him I thought He had more faith in me than I thought I could possibly be worthy of. The last 9 years have been a crash course in homophobia, white supremacy and being disabled and all that implies. Not one step was taken without God either dragging me, carrying me or showing me a new way.
Because my main spiritual gifting is empathy, I feel people’s pain and I can tell you that it has been hard to tell other’s pain from my own at times. That is what judgement does. It cause pain. It steals trust. It shuts down communication. It stops growth. It also causes the human reaction to judge back…which is rally hard to avoid. I am telling you the consequences of not listening to part of the bible that says judge not lest ye be judged and why look at the speck in your brother’s eye when there is a log in your own eye. We are here to love each other. Not make new laws and rules. That action only makes a mockery of what Jesus did on the cross.
There are people that deserve to be fought for that have been long hated by the church, shunned, lied about and not supported and whether you want to admit it or not, when you make someone have to shut a part of themselves away from you, to protect themselves, when you judge them, and they are queer, to a queer person, it is called homophobia.
In the video I watched, this woman said that some queer people have the agenda to make the “gay lifestyle” top of the mind and that might be true, but many people have different reasons for that. Personally I don’t watch a lot of TV. A quick response to not wanting to be manipulated through media: Read more books and encourage your children to do the same. But I think that portraying a world that is more realistic is profitable, emotionally. There are many households with two moms or two dads and that is not so weird in real life so why would it be odd in a TV show?
The problem is that when you make statements like, “You can’t be gay or lesbian and also be a Christian,” you are shutting out a lot of people from an important conversation. You are also making God a lot smaller than He really is. God affirms everything He has created. He loves ALL his creation. True, some people can “be saved” from being queer but not everyone; in fact it is quite rare, so what about the ones that have been shunned and abused for their entire life. If Jesus would leave the entire flock for one lost sheep, don’t you think that your ideas and behaviors might make it hard for those lost sheep to come home?
Here is a truth. I found faith in my backyard when I was 5-years-old. In my baby book my mother wrote that since I was 6-years-old, she could find me studying my bible, on my own. I have worn 3 1/2 bibles out in my life (my current one is almost done). I dragged my family and friends to church for the first 20 years of my life and then God told me to leave that church. He said that church could not teach me anything more. At 20 years old, I found myself at another church. I stayed there diligently for 5 more years and then my car broke down and no one ever called me to see if I needed a ride. They only called me when it was my turn to dress the communion table. I told them what I thought about that. I stayed with them off and one for 13 years but I also challenged God. As a 30 year old Christian I thought I should feel more mature. So just Him, my bible and me and He taught me things, no one had ever told me, or maybe I missed with all the lights, sounds and humanity in the churches I had been at…I am very easily stimulated.
Now I visit churches but I never stay because they are too human. The last one I was at taught things that were not in the bible. The one before the pastor was always more interested in planning his next mission trip, although his teaching was intelligent and interesting, but I could feel the fear of key people in the church because they didn’t know what would happen if a gay person was allowed in the church, the church before that was accepting but I felt like a token gay person in an affirming church…and to be honest the worship music was full of joy but the sound was an assault on my ear drums (I am so sorry).
Where are queer people supposed to congregate where they are not going to be abused, where they can learn the word, where they are not going to be treated weird and they are going to be treated with the love of Christ?
Susan thanked me for listening to her and not hating on her or blocking her. In reality I was treating her as I would want to be treated; as most people in the queer community, that I have met, want to be treated. We want to be able to be ourself without being told to be quiet or hide. We want to be heard and not put down. We just want to live our life. If that is a bad agenda, I would think that is the agenda all people have.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 7, 2023 | About Summer, Chronic Illness
I will always have a pain inside of me about my father. Out of all of his children I know I am the most like him. He protected me when I was a little girl. My mother loved me but I wasn’t the baby she wanted. She wanted children that wanted to be taken care of and for the most part, that wasn’t me. I was the first born and I was so much like my father. I looked more like him, I thought like him. When my first sibling was born, they were a failure to thrive child. They needed to be cared for. They needed to be doted on. They were born mean and they needed a lot of tending to. They got away with terrible things.
I was super sensitive. I was a kind child by nature, inquisitive, with lots of questions, who wanted to be taught how to learn. For the most part this worked best with my father. He knew how to give me tools to teach myself. He wasn’t perfect. He had a terrible temper with a violent streak that my mother was afraid of, but I could read him well. And I learned quickly to obey him or not get caught and I could avoid the rage, for the most part. My mother, on the other hand had a mental illness that was unknown and they did not have reliable treatments for. She was hard to read.
I know that my father was raised with horrible abuse. My grandfather was a practicing alcoholic for most of the years my father was in the house. My grandmother was a devout Catholic so there were lots of children. My father was the 3rd child. The way I have been told, my oldest uncle was my grandmother’s favorite child, my second oldest uncle was my grandfather’s favorite child, and my father, being the third oldest child was the perfect scapegoat. Not only did his sister, born right after him have mental illness, but she was manipulative and set him up for more beatings, but the older boys abused my father too. In a family with so many children in the 50’s-70’s, with parents with little education, I am sure this situation was normal. I have watched my father closely all my life. He is different, like me. I can feel it. I know he is sensitive and creative and very intelligent. He doesn’t really look like his siblings, but he does look like relatives. He stands out in family pictures.
I had breakfast with one of my aunts yesterday. I am thankful for her. Since I have had to cut myself off from most of my family, she has been the one that has sought me out and kept in touch. She is younger than my father. Her version of life is different because, essentially, she had better, older, wiser and healthier parents than my father had. My grandparents didn’t keep abusing alcohol and each other and their children. They got better and their youngest children are very different from their oldest children.
There was a brother born after my father, named Mark. He died when he was 5 years old from brain cancer. He would have been about 4 or 5 years younger than my father. I think with the 3 sisters that came before Mark, Mark would have been important to my father. My father has told me he has no memories of his brother. He remembers him as a pudgy toddler when he went into the hospital and then an 8 lb skeleton when he was dead. Grandma, being a devout Catholic, made sure the mass was an open casket affair and she made her children say goodbye to him this way. I can see why this would have been very traumatic to a very sensitive child. But my aunt, who was a year older than Mark, had other memories. She said that when Mark was in the hospital that she and my youngest 2 uncles were sent to other family members because Grandma would work graveyard and then spend every other waking moment with Mark at the hospital. The older children had to go to school and probably fended for themselves a lot. But there were times when Mark would come home. My aunt would help my Grandma watch him because she wasn’t in school. He loved to go outside. She would pull him around in the little red wagon or put him in the swing with the sides on it and push him. He only had enough energy for about an hour of play before he wanted to go back to sleep. She had to make sure to never let him bump his head. He was often having surgeries and there were always bandages on his head. He was wobbly on his feet so if he walked she would hold onto him to make sure he didn’t fall. This little information about an uncle that I was never allowed to talk about has me feeling so many emotions.
I have great compassion for my family members. I know they may have other thoughts on this but I had to cut them off to save myself. I can’t be the scapegoat anymore but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand them and love them and even miss them sometimes. My parents are good people but they were terrible married to each other. My mother needed help that wasn’t available to her and she was abusive to my father and to me. My father was the only one to protect me from my mother and my sibling and when he left, I was alone. He also didn’t understand the full responsibilities of being a parent which came out in a lot of painful ways.
Then he married a true narcissist. I have given a lot of thought to this and spoken to my therapist about it and she has affirmed what I knew in my spirit. My step-mother has used my father’s anger and violent streak to benefit herself. I have watched her rile him up against her own daughter and grandson. It is terrifying. She is the reason I can’t have a relationship with my father. She is broken, yes, but she has hurt so many people, and they don’t even know all of the evil things she has done.
I wish my father could see the benefit of therapy because I wish he could be set free from the terrors inside of himself. No one should have to carry what he has had to carry. He deserves peace. I wish the same for my mother too and I have told her the same.
My wife, Karen G Clemenson, asked me if I thought I should reach out to my father and tell him how I felt and I told her no. If I could reach out to him and know I was going to reach the little boy inside of him that needs support, it would be great. But most likely, I will be talking to the angry man that has been building and building the rage and it will just make things worse. She said she thought I knew him so well, and I said, “Of course. Out of all his children, I am the most like him.”
There is a rage and sadness that has been passed down through generations that is inside of me. It used to terrorize me. But I have learned to not feed it and try to focus on the things that lovely, pure and good, like the bible says. I meet people like me every now and then and I understand their inner fight. This is why compassion is so important. Some of us are born with things we didn’t earn but we have to learn to walk with.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Apr 4, 2023 | Book & Product Reviews, Opinions
I wasn’t looking for Wildblood by Lauren Blackwood, I won it as a givaway on GoodReads. But I needed the vacation it took me on. I am intense person. I don’t choose easy books to read. The last few books I have read took a lot of attention and mind power to absorb. I didn’t realize it but I was very ready for an easy book and this novel was that book.
Wildblood takes place in the Jamaica in the late 1800’s. Based out of the Exotic Lands Touring Company which offers tourists adventures led by their slavery led guides that have the power to use blood, their own, or other’s, to become tools at their whim. This is important because the jungle in this book is not like any we have every heard of, filled will all kinds of hauntings and species meant to kill the people that don’t belong there.
The main character is a light-skinned black woman, who has the strongest “science” of them all who leads the party to their destination and earns her freedom in the truest sense of the word. But not without losing most of the party to unthinkable deaths that only the jungle could create.
I won this book as a Giveaway from GoodReads. You can get your own copy of Wildblood by Lauren Blackwood Amazon.
~
Read My Review on GoodReads:
Wildblood by Lauren Blackwood
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Lauren Blackwood had me turning pages in this great adventure. I really enjoyed this book!
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 31, 2023 | Poetry
Every lunatic I have ever thought of blocking
on Facebook has been trying to reach me
I must be made of stone still
I feel like with the right amount of wind
I could crumble
~
There are two kinds of women
the ones you want to know
and the ones that should jump off a bridge
at least the ones who jump off the bridge
if they live through it
will have a different perspective on life
~
Someone asked me if I had a superpower what would it be
I said I wanted to make everyone
feel good on the inside
My wife said she wants to fly
She is his hero
I fly in my dreams
it is overrated
~
I fought with a couple of men for two days
about guns
I realized it meant nothing
I have never needed a gun
and they don’t know life without one
We don’t speak the same language
~
I am not perfect
I am a little broken this week
Maybe God is removing that stone
since He wants a soft heart to work with
My thoughts are hard to deal with
to hand to Him
~
But I am trying
~
by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 29, 2023 | About Summer, Book & Product Reviews, Education, Opinions, Queer Community
Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson is the first book I have read on the topic of what the bible says about being queer. I have read the bible and I have spoken to God but I want to read what more learned people have written on the topic. This topic is personal to me because when I was 20 years old I knew that I had a fight inside of me, although I didn’t know the words. Being a late-bloomer, it didn’t bother me, until I found myself attracted to a few ladies I knew. It wasn’t overwhelming, but I didn’t have overwhelming feelings about men either. At the time, I didn’t know the word demi-sexual or even bi-sexual, which explains why I wasn’t rude about my attractions, like my friends were. I always thought their comments about body parts was belittling to the whole person, therefore, disrespectful. I now know that they were probably what is considered, “normal” and I was different because although I might find a person attractive, I am not sexually attracted to them until I have a deep emotional and intellectual bond with them.
I was raised in a conservative Baptist church and I found the scripture that said homosexuality was an abomination. I had other things to do and no real relationships so I stayed busy. I met Karen G Clemenson 10 years before we became engaged. For some of that time I was seeing a Christian therapist and I admitted some fears I had about feelings I was having about her and sometimes feelings I was feeling from Karen. I prayed a lot. Karen was a wonderful friend. I didn’t want to mess that up. In 2014, when I got sick enough that I couldn’t fake it or hide it, she was by my side and never left. She was never overwhelmed. She was my rock. She was my nurse. She encouraged me to find strength when I didn’t know I could. Somewhere in there; in all that bloody humanity we realized that we had a love that was beyond friendship. We were married 11 days later. It will be 9 years ago on May 9th. After a year of marriage and seeing a different therapist I was able to admit that I was bisexual. Before then I had told people I wasn’t gay, I just married my best friend — talk about denial. I am not in denial anymore because the light of Christ is an amazing thing and this book is just one of many that can help shine light on a dark spot.
As many people engage in polarizing debates we must not only focus on what the scripture says but what it means. Throughout history we have come to understand that we must change our discernment of the bible. During most of the bible times slavery was prevalent, yet we now know slavery is wrong. Brownson wants to help the reader understand key points in the bible and history to re-open discussion about same-sex intimate relationships.
Gender Complimentary Argument
Arguments that same-sex intimate relationships violate God’s divinely intended gender complementarity, but this implies that male and female are incomplete on their own and that is not true. The one-flesh union spoken of in Genesis is not a physical one but a kinship one. Adam and Eve were celebrated for their similarities more than their differences so Genesis does not teach a normative form of gender complimentary. The overall context and language of scripture suggests that the one-flesh bond mentioned in Genesis 2:24 is a lifelong kinship bond which is described through prophetic tradition in the Old Testament when we see Gods’ faithfulness to Israel as a marriage bond which is lifelong and emphasizing grace. This same emphasis is also seen in the New Testament.
The reason against promiscuity is that people are not to say with their bodies what they can’t or will not say with their whole lives. In scripture it is clear that one-flesh bond only takes place between and man and a woman but there is nothing in the bible that excludes committed same-sex unions when the other characteristics of the kinship bonds are met. One flesh does not only refer to sexual relations but the relationship, love, social, community ties and responsibilities the relationship creates and supports.
“To think of sexual relations as a language brings with it another important corollary. Sex can bring with it an incredibly wide range of meanings…Thus Christian faithfulness has only begun when it recognizes that full sexual intimacy belongs in one-flesh kinship unions. The following steps are equally, if not more important: learning the bodily language for giving and receiving love and using that language to create a space of beauty and love where both partners become more fully the person God intends them to be.” Chapter 5
The bible does not teach normative understanding of gender complimentary.
“Perhaps what heterosexuals are experiencing in marriage is not essentially a complimentary of gender understood biologically, but simply a form of otherness that usually takes shape along gender lines, even if those gendered lines may shift significantly from one context to the next.” Chapter 12
Cultural Norms
The bible was written in an honor-shame culture where public esteem was highly valued and male/female roles were clearly and sharply defined. Western culture is not like this. The need to honor each other is universal but the concept of shame varies among different cultures. The modern world doesn’t understand gender roles as they did in the ancient world. Men are not offended by female bosses. Women are not naturally passive, subservient and subject to passions. Cultural expectations in the old world have no way of viewing the notion of sexual orientation.
There is a lot of patriarchal beliefs or contrasting egalitarian beliefs shown through the bible, however the New Testament illustrates we leave that behind in the New Life we share in Christ. The hierarchy of gender cannot be used today as a form of gender complimentary, which is allegedly violated by same-sex intimate relationships. Many people can argue that what the bible says about same-sex eroticism that ancient world does not apply to the committed queer relationships of today. We need a cross-cultural sexual ethic that includes justice and love that may have relevance for queer relationships.
What is normal in the bible may not have been able to be envisioned by the writers of the bible due to cultural norms. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider them.
Procreation & Sex
Marriage does not require the ability to procreate to be valid and the inability to bear children is not a reason for divorce. Reliable contraception has changed how we think about relationship between sex and procreation — increasing the importance of bonding through sex and in some cases replacing the procreative meaning of sex.
The Old Testament does not call for celibacy as a lifelong calling for all people, although it is appropriate for short-term avoidance of sex for holiness purposes. Some people are called to a life of celibacy but not all. If not all are called to a life of celibacy than isn’t it better to allow queer people to marry so they do not fall into promiscuity from their unfulfilled passions?
Promiscuity is rejected because it cannot cultivate a lifelong relationship and spread disease.
Other Benefits of Marriage
In ancient days marriage was important to maintain the responsibility and duties to sustain a household. Now society benefits many ways when people live together in long-term committed unions — taxes, better health are just a few.
Society has interest in supporting marriages in order to provide for care of children but this is not the only reason and this lack of procreative capacity cannot deny legitimacy to queer couples in a stable marriage.
What Paul Says
When Paul talks about sexual behaviors that are unacceptable in Romans 1:24-27 he is talking about excessive, self-centered desire and not normal sexual relationships. He also might be referring to the Roman Emperor Gaius Galigula whose idolatry and sexual excesses earned him a gruesome death.
Paul doesn’t see sexual desire as a sin but if it gets out of control it can become lust and lead to sin.
The core form of moral logic that characterizes sexual misconduct as “impure” is the internal attitudes and disposition — lust and lack of restraint. In committed same-sex marriages, where there is discipline, can we still call this union impure?
The Church Today
The church has welcomed queer folks but abhorred their way of handling their emotions with shame. The church may wrestle with Paul’s words about queer relationships but the real issue is promiscuity and lack of self-control which are not part of committed marriages.
The church should stand against relationships marked by dominance, lack of consent, lack of mutuality, including and especially relationships between adults and minors. The bible verses that speak regarding homosexual or same-sex relations are relating to extreme situations: rape, incest, human trafficking, prostitution, sex with angels, overindulgence, idolatry; of course we, as Christians, should be against this lack of self-control and humiliation of others. This is not the type of behavior celebrated in most loving and supportive marriages whether they are same-sex or heterosexual.
Psychologists recognize a persistent, non pathological pattern of same-sex orientation as a “natural” phenomenon in some people. This phenomenon results from a complex interaction between genetics, hormonal influences and social context and it is causing us to question the “nature” of individuals.
“In a broken world, where life does not follow the perfect “nature” plan, God’s redemptive purpose can embrace eunuchs and barren women — as well as gay and lesbian people — and draw them into a wider and deeper divine purpose moving toward the new creation in Christ.” Chapter 11
Because we are all one in Christ.
I already know God made me for a time such as this. I know He loves me and He knows that my wife and I love Him and each other. He has not condemned us. It was good to read something from someone that knows more than me, but I already knew I was blessed because when I asked God, once I was able to say, “I am queer,” if I should divorce my wife, He said no.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for all are one in Christ.” Galatians 3: 28
I got this book from my own collection. You can get your own copy of Bible Gender Sexuality Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson on Amazon.
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Read My Review on GoodReads:
Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I felt that Brownson gave a real effort to explain the cultural differences between the time when the bible was written and the way we live now and how we have already made many changes according to how we have adapted to change: like how we view women in leadership and slavery. I appreciate how he studied the scriptures and related articles of the time to look for connections between gender-complimentary as a requirement. He answered the question of procreation as the reason to outlaw same-sex unions, because it is not a requirement for heterosexual unions. He answered the medical proof that many queer people have not chosen their orientation and instead of requiring them to live a frustrated life where they may end up failing away to sin, that honoring loving, stable, lifelong relationships would answer the need for the lifelong love language between married partners that might lead them to another form of the new creation in Christ. It is a good start for some.
View all my reviews
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 28, 2023 | Poetry
If I were to make my outside
look like my inside
you would probably say it was my fault
The knife cuts and the razor blades
would only embellish where the scars don’t already live
~
You wouldn’t smile at me while we spoke
We would never speak honestly
It wouldn’t matter how pretty my teeth are
my smile would never shine enough
to help you get beyond your terrifying truth
~
It wouldn’t matter what color my eyes chose to be today
You would not be able to look me in the eye
The puss and the infection would offend you before
you could get close enough to see them
You might not look at me at all
~
The process of healing takes time
sometimes you have to start over
sometimes you find more scars
when you thought you were done
I am so angry
~
I am so angry that I feel those knife cuts
even though I didn’t make them
I am so angry that I feel like I am bleeding out
even though it is just figurative
but it feels like it did when it happened
~
Every time you hurt me
Every time you lied
Every time you manipulated the world to serve you
I never heard you behind my back
but I heard what you said about others
why wouldn’t you speak lies about me
~
I hate you
My therapist says its ok
She says anger is meant to push me to
change something or protect something
Either way it has to be me that gets better
~
God knows you never did
~
by Summer D Clemenson | Mar 24, 2023 | About Summer, Life, Opinions, Prayers & Thanksgiving
Sometimes when we have a strong response to something it is because memories are bigger than the thing we are responding to. The other day I made a post on Facebook because I have seen so many memes and posts with the middle finger and it made me angry. It wasn’t my original post but it was the most important part. It said the important part for who I am now: I do swear but even my wife says it sounds weird coming out of my mouth. I have heard that often in my life. I do like fancy words better. My Nana always said there were so many beautiful adverbs to use instead of vulgarities. I agree with her. My one peeve that I can’t get over and it is getting worse is the middle finger. I think it is the trashiest thing one can ever do. Talk about low class not only to the person being flipped off but by the person doing it. It’s like you have decided to use one perfectly good finger to shut off all communication.
Since the day or two since I posted it, I seem to be fighting in my head again with real memories and feelings that have to do with the person I hate the most; the person that seeing “the bird” reminds me of. These are big statements. One, I have allowed myself to blame Anna for some of my behavior but as I am taking responsibility for my wellness, I realize that Anna is me. She is sometimes younger than me, but she is still me and I am responsible for her. Another thing that was hard for me to face this morning was that I have hate inside myself. I didn’t think I did. But after really paying attention to my memories, my responses to these memories and what I really want from my analysis of these memories, I do, in fact, have hatred inside myself. I know that forgiveness is a process and even though I have chosen to forgive many times, there are specific things I have tried to set down, I have failed.
A part of me wants to write a raving article about the terrible things this person did to me and my family. How their self-centered actions, time and time again hurt me, terrorized me, and made it impossible for me to ever trust them; even when I really tried hard to honor their role through marriage to my father. She stole things from me that cannot be replaced. She instilled things in my family that can not be forgotten. Her “helpfulness” was usually a way to get what she needed. But she knew how to pet my father, who deserved to be petted.
If I allow myself, this blog will go forever with accusations. I don’t want to live like that. I have to remember that. I have worked really hard to learn how to choose peace. It is no surprise that this lifelong problem has been lying in wait for me when I thought I had figured most things out. That is when foundational issues usually come out. I feel depressed because I have found myself guilty of holding hatred and unforgiveness for most of my life inside of me. I am talking to God. There is fear of letting this go. I don’t know life without this hatred. I am grateful that He has brought me to a place where I can finally take stock. I am grateful that we have walked through similar walks before and I know that when I am ready to let go, He will told me together. I am even grateful that He loves my step-mother and wants her wellness too because I don’t have to like her, I just have to forgive her.
~
Feel free to leave your comments below!
My name is Summer. That is how you can call me. I hope that I am a blessing to you. I am not perfect. I will fall again. But I am forgiven.
For anyone reading this that isn’t a Christian, unapologetically, I am a Christian, but I believe there is room for lots of beliefs and religions in the world. It is not my intent to offend people with different beliefs than I have and I would be open to open-minded conversations with no goals of changing anyone’s mind, but sharing information.
If you are interested in becoming a Christian…Do you know Jesus? Do want the Holy Spirit to fill you and give you understanding and salvation? Ask Him. Want someone to pray with you? Contact me.
If you would like to know Jesus as your friend, but want to make this amazing commitment by yourself please pray something like this:
Thank you Jesus that You are the Son of God, the God that created heaven and earth. Thank you Jesus that You came to earth in the form of a man so that You would be able to empathize with my humanity. Thank You that You did this in order to fulfill the promises You made at the foundation of the world.
I realize that I am a sinner and do things that hurt myself and keep myself away from you. Thank You that You died for my sins so that You could defeat death and bring me into Your life. Please forgive me.
I ask You to be Lord of my life. I ask you to heal my hurts and show me what my new life, empowered by You looks like. Thank You for Your mercy.
Please wait...
