I heard today that here are times
that just like me
you want the pain to stop so badly
that you want to die

I knew your nasty cancer ass was here
before the test came back positive
Nobody else feels like you do
But I decided I won’t give you what you want

I’m sitting here in the night
it is quiet except
for Karen‘s occasional snoring
and the ringing in my left ear

They didn’t protect me as a child
they must have noticed I wasn’t there
when he came to see his mother
They knew his abuse

sometimes I hurt all over
and I don’t know why
I remember Mom asking me why
I was angry when I was a girl

It occurred to me
I am no longer afraid of the things in the dark
The things that scare me most
happen in the daylight

I have been run through with this sword more than once
Many have held it
but your hand hurts pretty bad
Because you keep saying you

My soul is often screaming
and right now I am not ok
As fast as I can break a contract
I find another that festers

The spots on my pillow
are from when I bled in my sleep
The tears of my people
who have walked with my feet

We don’t say drive safe
because you are a bad driver
But because sometimes you might be tired
from working overtime so you can pay your bills

He’s not too much
if you understand him
because he sees the beauty
in the quiet softness and it isn’t an act

My friend sent an article today
about people I’m related to
And I don’t see it her way anymore
Because I can’t

In the dark is where the secrets sing their truths
Where intentions are authentic
Whether awake or in dreams
these revelations

I don’t struggle with my faith
or what I believe about God
because He and I are as solid as the fact that
He never changes

Somewhere over the rainbow
the world is exactly the same
because God
doesn’t like illusions

I’m on fire again
but I have been knocked down
so many times
I can function at any level

My insides are raw from crying
and they aren’t even just my own tears
My muscles ache
and my joints pop

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is The Lord God Almighty
and I am one of His
but there are people running around

Sometimes we moan
whether in our body or Spirit
when words aren’t enough
“The Spirit intercedes with groanings

There is a monster in my closet
I didn’t put her there
But I remember a life
before it wasn’t

I have been made small since I was about 4
My gestures
My words
My thoughts and feelings were often too big

I told my therapist I felt like crying
I had letters to write to the school board
but I was too emotional
Matthew said to write first drafts

When my soul cries out
she calls Him Elohim
When I looked it up it is the
Hebrew word for Creator

The sky is quiet but the earth is shaking
and people are not at peace
This is called
psychological frequency warfare

When it gets too cold
my joints curse me
and talking becomes explosive
The nerves in my face might have

Many White men is assholes cause they can be
They live up on they hill with the bright lights
cause they has all the money
and they stand on people like me

There’s a clown running around
showcasing a monument
we have held dear since the beginning
He has all but lit it on fire

Do you practice in the Spirit or in the law
Is it more important to have butts in the seats
Or do you walk in the Spirit and Truth
When you vote is it based on blind elephants

She stands on top of Black ancestors shoulders
taught to read by White women
creating change the only way they knew how
The ones who came before her

If my eyeballs melted out of head
or I vomited this pain inside
The effects would probably last longer than
the migraine that was not invited

Maybe it’s the flower moon
Maybe it’s your birthday coming up
But I seem to be pulling weeds
And letting things go

You were supposed to love me
and you failed
I told you and you didn’t care
If you have been thinking

I am Yours
No matter how many rings
I put on my ears and nose
fingers and toes

Have you ever looked at your reflection and thought
This is not me
or wow I have been through something
Have you watched yourself change

In this moment I feel You
I can hear the praises
my soul sings to You
in words I don’t know

The ringing in my ears
swings between the normal hum
and somewhere beyond octaves I can’t sing
My eyes weep involuntarily

There is more than one frequency
that I pick up on
Not just what the world demands
and my sick body requires

On this 16th day of March 2026
I know this day is giving 
The prophets I have listened to
agreed that this day was

I was breathed into life
by The Creator
The All Powerful
They were here before even the stars

I was raised in a
conservative church and
a conservative family
I did what I was told

I was a hypocrite once
I was so well trained that I didn’t know who I was
I didn’t have words or experience or reason to think in
any other way until I did

I see your arguments
your hateful comments
about people with brown skin
that you have never met

I was thinking we love differently
but that isn’t true
because we both love completely
You tell me you love me

Every day you wake up
to things you didn’t think
would ever happen
It’s hard to hope

It’s 4:41 am and I hear the rain
and I hope the embers
at The Red Lion Inn will finally extinguish
because I don’t want Kelso 

Thirty eight thousand times he is mentioned in the Epstein Files
In over five thousand three hundred documents
his name is found
Does that make him guilty

It’s almost as if my body wasn’t mine
Opinions rain down around me
Regardless of the season
By the time I learned

The bad guys look like good guys
In fact they look like
grandpas and brothers
uncles and daddies and friends

When I am with you
I am at capacity
I am acceptable by myself
Yet I am optimized

Donald Trump has warned
The United States
will hit Iran
“with a force that has never been seen before”

The search light searches
for life and truth
And sometimes there is just mystery
Because God cannot be completely understood

Dr. Linda Davis died
Tuesday February 17th
in a car crash around 7:45 am
during the potentially illegal pursuit

Geraldo Lunas Compos
died on January 3rd
He was a man
being held down by guards

I must stand in the light
and be the reflection
Of the love I know full well
Many think they know His love

There is no picture of
Luis Gustavo Núñez-Cáceres
that I can find
This 42-year-old

My soul hurts today
I have never been raped
but men have touched me
without my permission

“Our professionally trained medical staff
including licensed doctors and nurses
provide timely compassionate care
to all individuals in our custody”

Victor Manuel Diaz
died in ICE custody
at Camp East Montana
on Digital Road in El Paso, Texas

They’re all wearing masks
They don’t identify themselves
They are driving around in
unmarked vehicles

The 5th person to die in ICE custody
this month
in the first 16 days of 2026
Herber Sanchez Dominguez

Parody La was a 46-year-old male
La was last seen in Upper Darby Philadelphia
He left to get groceries on January 6, 2026
He had been detained

“Its gonna be hard to break me
because I have a strong spirit
and I grew up with a whole lot of love”
Keith Porter was shooting his gun in the air

Alex Pretti never touched
the gun in his holster
the one he was licensed to carry
the one our second amendment protects
He had no criminal record

“I’m fine Dude
I’m not mad at you”
Renee Good‘s last words

I am made in my Creator’s image
I am white
I am female…

What if there was no left or right?
What if there was no black or white?
What if we saw the beauty…

I hate the hatred God
How can they hate
someone they have never met…

I am the kind of civilian that
has already been forgotten
Yet you already want me to forgive…

Every Person is Important
I am not just saying this because
I am white…

Sometimes I try to climb back into the embrace of
Our arms entwined and our heart to heart…

I missed you today
I have missed you lots of days
because you are going through…

It is hard to think with my human mind
Sometimes my spirit is on fire
And I can’t imagine how to move…

Wednesday January 29, 2025
probably seemed like any other night
Until Headline News screamed…

I have always had to be brave
I wasn’t allowed to be
my authentic
messy…

Things we have never seen before
have happened at his hand
He has encouraged us to give way to violence…